Andromeda Pike (Mistress of Ceremonies)
I don't think I'll ever understand the fascination some people have with the Tribute Parade. To me, it's nothing more than a relic of the past. One that exists not because it's necessary, but because it always has, and no one can seem to imagine living in a world where it doesn't.
That's why I was hoping, rather foolishly, I might add, that our fearless reformer of a President would put an end to this pointless and archaic exercise. If not because he genuinely wanted to, then as a favor to me.
You know, because I turned my whole life upside down on a whim to become his new Mistress of Ceremonies after he fired my predecessor on his second day in office. The fact that it's my dream job and I begged him to give it to me is neither here nor there.
But he didn't. And to make matters worse, if that's even possible, he's also made it abundantly clear that the Tribute Parade is here to stay, even though he agrees that it's long outlived its usefulness.
Why? Because he absolutely loves the pageantry and the artistry that it invokes. He's a sucker for the smells and bells, as he calls them. He always has been.
It's why he initially pursued a career as a stylist before getting into politics. And it's why he refuses to eighty-six the Parade like he did the old mentors and escorts. He may not be willing to admit that's the case, but I know him well enough to know that it is.
Not that it matters. Caspian has made his choice, and he's not going to unmake it just because I don't like it. And, since I'm not nearly childish enough to give up my dream job over this — even though the thought has crossed my mind at least a dozen times in the last five minutes and gets more enticing by the second — I'm just going to have to make the best of things.
And who knows, maybe some of the stylists will be inspired by the once-in-a-lifetime nature of the Quarter Quell and decide not to half-ass it like they do every other year. I doubt it, but stranger things have happened.
"Excuse me, Miss Pike?"
"Yes, Tyreen?" I say, pulling my eyes away from my notes and glancing over at my assistant.
"This is your one-minute warning, ma'am."
"Thank you. Could you please give me another one at the fifteen-second mark?"
"Of course, ma'am."
"Thank you. Oh, and Tyreen?"
"Yes, ma'am?"
"Could you make sure there are a few stiff, fruity drinks waiting for me in my dressing room when this is over? I'm going to want to get to work on obliterating the memory of this upcoming trainwreck as soon as I possibly can."
"Of course, ma'am," she laughs, a knowing smile on her lips as she mouths a silent fifteen seconds to me before slipping out of the room to get our drinks ready. Leaving me alone with my thoughts as the timer on my desk flashes to life at the ten-second mark before slowly ticking down to zero.
Well, here goes nothing.
"Good evening, Panem," I say, my voice light and bubbly as I stare down into the bank of cameras below me with a happy smile on my face, "and welcome to the opening ceremonies for this, the One Hundredth Annual Hunger Games, and Fourth Quarter Quell.
"My name is Andromeda Pike, your new Mistress of Ceremonies, and it is my pleasure to be here tonight with all of you to share in this historic, once-in-a-generation extravaganza. In the immortal words of the late, great Caesar Flickerman, 'We have never seen anything like this, and we will never see anything like it again.'
"So, enjoy this moment, Panem. You've earned it," I say, letting my voice trail off slowly as the crowd below me erupts into an earth-shaking round of applause that only gets louder when the first chariot finally rolls out onto the torch-lined causeway a few seconds later.
"And here they are! Our first chariot is from District One, the luxury capital of Panem and the birthplace of Alfonso Cadel and Shimmer Calvisi. Both of whom look absolutely smashing tonight.
"Jaguar fur kilts studded with precious gems and parrot feather capes would be much too bold and revealing a look for most tributes to pull off, but not these two. They're nailing it, and the crowd loves it!"
These outfits are actually pretty good. I mean, I've seen better, but they're a massive improvement over the garbage they barfed out last year. It's just too bad that Shimmer isn't nearly as into it as Alfonso is. That boy knows how to work a crowd, and they love it.
"Next up is District Two, the beating heart of Panem's military and the home district of last year's champion Athena Stone as well as two of the early favorites to take home this year's crown, Helena Valentine and Bellatrix Harvey.
"Now I know what you're all thinking, 'haven't I heard that name somewhere before?' and the answer is yes, you have. Bellatrix is the daughter of Hunger Games champion Amethyst Harvey, who most of you probably remember better as Amethyst Tidethorn.
"And, in a callback to the Norse Goddess outfit that Amethyst wore during her games, Bellatrix and her partner Helena have been dressed as beautiful and deadly Valkyries. Complete with stunning, form-fitting silver plate armor inlaid with blood-red gold and dazzling raven feather wings.
"The two of them are truly a breathtaking sight to behold, and I pity anyone foolish enough to get between these two beautiful but deadly young women and the ultimate prize that is winning the Hunger Games."
These two are going to be tough to top. And not just because the outfits are amazing.
I mean, they are. They're absolutely perfect in every way imaginable. But the two of them are also playing their parts beautifully. Bellatrix is the happy, bubbly, beautiful legacy tribute that the crowd can't get enough of — While Helena is the cold, indifferent, stunning goddess of war that inspires fear and love in equal measure.
The other tributes had better be careful. Because these two are good at this. And they're going to have sponsors lining up to support them in the arena.
"Next out are the sparkplugs from the tech district, Cypher Diamantis and his partner Oz Channer, the latter of whom caused quite a stir with his unforgettable performance during his reaping.
"And, true to the sparky, spunky nature of the people who call District Three their home, Mr. Channer and his partner are absolutely electrifying the crowd, and their outfits are a huge part of that.
"Now, I'm not a scientist, so please don't quote me on this, but the two of them appear to be incomplete, early model human androids, complete with hanging wires and random sparks."
My god, these outfits are bad. Who designed them, a drunk four-year-old? Seriously, who in their right mind actually thought these piles of metallic shit deserved to see the light of day? Because they need to be fired yesterday.
However, despite how bad these outfits truly are, Oz is killing it out there. He's laughing and smiling and lurching around robotically while the crowd showers him with praise.
Cypher, unfortunately, is a different matter entirely. He doesn't want to be out here, and he's not afraid to let that show. Then again, it's not like it matters. Cypher doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell of winning. He knows that.
Oz does. And he's acting like it.
"Next up is District Four, the home of gentle waves, salty sea air, and Panem's last pirates, Ariadne Whitlock and Cornelia Harbor.
"That's right, folks, piracy is back, and it's never looked so good. From their tight, curve-hugging black leather corsets to their comically oversized captains hats topped with parrot feathers, Ariadne and Cornelia are ready to reave and plunder like the bloodthirsty buccaneers of old. And I can't seem to decide if I want to run away and hide or fall in love."
These outfits are ok. They would be utterly forgettable if it weren't for Ariadne and Cornelia, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. There's something to be said for going with a safe, reliable outfit and letting the tribute's natural charisma shine through. It doesn't always work, but when it does, it works well.
"Next, we turn our attention to District Five, the powerhouse of our nation and the home of Third Quarter Quell champion Valion Rogare as well as the two brave young men looking to follow in his footsteps, Hector Brennan and Shirley Gutters.
"And they're off to a good start. After all, it's not every day that you see a pair of real-life windmills rolling down the street of the Capitol. But here we are, looking right at it.
"I hope they're careful, though. Those blades look sharp and are way too close to their faces for comfort. I'd hate to see one or both of them get hurt before the Games even start."
Ok, these are both bad and an unfortunate example of what happens when a stylist tries to get cute and creates something no one in their right mind would ever dream of making simply because no one has ever done it before.
I give them props for trying something new, but the result is an unmitigated disaster. And it's one that's going to be very hard to top.
"Oh, do you hear that, everyone? That distant sound of thunder can only mean one thing, District Sixes Leandra Chandri and Dana Shouwei are roaring in to see us in their old school fighter jets.
"This bold and inspired look harkens back to the later stages of the Dark Days. When defector fighter pilots from District Six helped defend the Capitol against their former Rebel comrades and turned the tide of war in our favor. Ushering in the era of peace and prosperity we're celebrating today."
I really like these. They're not as flashy or memorable as the valkyries from Two or the pirates from Four are, but that's fine. Parade outfits don't have to be either of those if they can tell a good story. And these tell a great one.
The only problem is, that story does jack to sell Dana and Leandra as tributes. Not because it's a bad story, but because it just doesn't gel with who they are as tributes. I'm sorry, but trying to sell them as warriors of Panem, even in such a clunky and abstract way, is a losing proposition.
But that's a problem for the two of them and their teams to sort out. I've got bigger things to worry about — Like getting through this parade with my sanity intact.
"Next up is District Seven, the home of tall, tall trees and short, short tributes. That's the only way to describe Asuka Tamura and his partner Bennett Ramirez. Because the former is easily one of the tallest tributes in this year's field, while the latter might be the only person in Panem over the age of fifteen that's shorter than I am.
"Of course, Bennett makes up for his shortcomings much better than I do. A fact that is on full display thanks to the tasteful but enticing way the paper of his outfit hugs his tight, muscular body.
"Origami swans were a bold choice for parade outfits, but that boldness has paid off in spades for both Asuka and Bennett."
I'm not sure how his stylist got the paper to cling to the curves of his body like that without getting crumpled or ripped, but they deserve all the credit in the world for pulling it off. Though not nearly as much as Asuka and Bennett.
They're the ones making these otherwise bland and painfully unimaginative outfits work.
"Next up, we have District Eight. The beating heart of fashion in Panem and the home district of the prodigal daughter Lizbeth Tulle and her partner Pallas Arguatha.
"And, in keeping with their district's fashionista roots, Pallas and Lizbeth are dressed to kill and thrill in their stunningly intricate and ornate masquerade ball gowns. Lizbeth in a rich, enticing cream and Pallas a stunning midnight purple.
"I love everything about these outfits, but I especially love the way the masks create an air of mystery and sophistication around these two vibrant and attractive young ladies."
I really do love these outfits. They're the perfect combination of elegant and mysterious, and both Pallas and Lizbeth look absolutely stunning in them.
On a side note, I'm starting to notice a bit of a trend with the parade outfits. And I'm more than a little curious to see if it continues for the rest of the parade.
"Next up is District Nine, the breadbasket of Panem and the beating heart of chivalry. That's right, the lovely ladies from District Four brought back piracy, so the heartthrobs from Nine have brought back the age of horse and lance to protect us from them.
"And they got here just in time. A few seconds longer, and there might not have been anything left for them to save. So, thank you, brave Ser Sentri and noble Ser Sedge. You've more than lived up to your chivalric vows."
I'm actually impressed. I didn't think the stylists from Nine had it in them to design anything more complicated than a loaf of bread. But they did, and the results speak for themselves. The fact that knights have just as much to do with grain as dinosaurs do with computers is irrelevant.
"But now it's time for us to leave our brave and noble heroes behind and take a little trip down to District Ten. The home district of our oldest living victor Angus Tanner, as well as two of the more intriguing tributes in this year's field, Luciana Bay and Sarah Beth Fullberg. The latter of whom shocked the world yesterday when she became District Ten's first volunteer in nearly two decades.
"And, in keeping with her shock and awe approach to things, Sarah Beth is looking positively deadly as the brave gun-wielding Sheriff, while Luciana plays the part of the devious, cattle rustling desperado.
"A slightly modern take on a classic look, everything about this is simply spectacular. But my favorite part has nothing to do with the outfits and everything to do with how much fun it is to watch Luciana and Sarah Beth have their little high noon showdown every few seconds.
"And, based on the response their last one just got from this already loud and raucous crowd, it's their favorite part too."
I'm honestly not sure what to make of this outfit. On the one hand, it's a bland retread of one of the three outfits the District Ten stylists have in their rotation that everyone has seen before. On the other, the little gunfight is cute as hell, and it makes this otherwise dreadfully boring and forgettable outfit a hell of a lot more memorable than it has any right to be.
I guess it can go in the good category.
"Next up, we have Ashton Drysden and Cassis Caldeira. Or, as I like to refer to them, the adorable little gnomes from District Eleven.
"Now, I say that with all possible love. Gnomes are my favorite mythical creatures. They're just so cute and cuddly that it's impossible for me not to love them. And that's exactly how I feel about Ashton and Cassis.
"They're just too precious for this world, and their adorable little honeybee outfits do nothing to change that in my eyes. And how could it? How could anyone look at those adorable little stingers and precious little see-through wings and not fall in love like I have?"
These two are adorable. It would have been a little cuter if they had dressed up one of them as a flower so the busy little bee could have pollinated it. But that's a minor nitpick at best and does nothing to change the fact that Ashton and Cassis really are too precious for this world.
Their stylists were geniuses for tapping into that.
"And last, but certainly not least, we have District Twelve. Home to the fearless coal miners who selflessly dig deep into the earth to retrieve the hard black rock that helps power our world, as well as our final pair of tributes, Ashlynn Haskell and Maira Renault.
"Unfortunately, I refuse to dignify this piss poor excuse for a parade outfit by describing it. Everyone can see it for what it is, and it's disgusting. I feel sorry for those poor girls. A once in a lifetime experience has been ruined for them because their stylists were too lazy to trot out the coal miner outfits their tributes wear every other year.
"And, on that cheerful note, it's time for me to turn things over to our illustrious leader, President Caspian Ashwood.
"Remember to stay tuned after his speech for three additional hours of wall-to-wall Quarter Quell coverage, including our exclusive interview with our only living Quarter Quell Champion, Valion Rogare!
"And as always, I want to wish you all a Happy Hunger Games, and may the odds be ever in your favor. ..."
A/N: And that, my friends, is that! We have finished the Tribute Parade; I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I'll also be the first to admit that this is by far the weakest part of my writing, so I hope that it's as good as I think it is. I'm also curious what you all think of the outfits?
Other than that, I really don't have a lot to say. We're finally in the Capitol and it's time to throw all of these amazing tributes into the same room together and see what happens. I have a few fun things planned for the training chapters and I can't wait to show it to all of you :D