–
8
My Ire
–
Fights were more common than he wanted to admit to. He tried to play things off calm, cool and collected but that sometimes only incensed Kurt.
Kurt screamed at him that he didn't want him to always be so damn bloody understanding all the time. That being a doormat wasn't what had drawn Kurt to Sebastian to start with. Things bothered Sebastian but he didn't want to be that boyfriend who made a big deal out of little things. Didn't want to be the jealous, possessive boyfriend who had to know what Kurt was up to every five minutes.
His wording this time had Sebastian's hackles rising and throwing angry words right back at Kurt. He was the charming, cool, collected one. Kurt was the passionate, dramatic one. Or at least that's what the world was supposed to think, the roles they were supposed to fit into. In truth, Kurt pulled in to himself often and attempted to put on brave smiles and understanding faces. He had his dramatic, impassioned moments, of course he did, he wouldn't have been Kurt if he didn't.
Sebastian barely lost his cool but when he did, it was a roaring fire. Except Kurt was never scared of hm and he didn't want that to be an emotion associated with Sebastian. They were both first ice and then fire, given the right situations.
"Do you wish I was Adam? I'm sorry I'm not perfect like he was!"
"Ugh, Sebastian, Adam and I didn't have what you and I have! I don't want you to be him!" Kurt roared at him back. "Stop comparing yourself to him and stop putting words in my mouth."
"But you don't deny he was perfect!" Sebastian spat out.
"He was perfect." Kurt clipped out, becoming ice cold and making Sebastian freeze all the way down to his center. He wasn't sure if he would ever warm up again. "He was perfect for me when I needed him to be. He's perfect in all ways, especially at being an ex."
"I'm not perfect." Sebastian put out there hesitantly, wondering if he read into Kurt's words correctly.
"No shit." Kurt laughed and Sebastian came to sit next to him, moved closer when Kurt patted the space right next to him. "Sometimes I wonder if you actually care or are just going with the flow since you have nothing better to do right now. I know you care, of course I do, but sometimes I need to hear you say it, to fight me on something. I don't want perfect. Perfect is hard to maintain and it's boring and extremely stressful all at the same time."
"He did a good job reducing your stress."
"Not as good of a job as you do." Kurt reassured. "We both can't be cool calm waters. It doesn't work and it's not really us. Sometimes things need to be agitated or introduce fire to it. I'm afraid sometimes that I've put your fire out." Their fire when together was still going strong though, when they actually had time for each other and that.
Sebastian held Kurt's hand. "Is that really something you need?"
"You once said that you don't press enough, don't ask enough questions. I'm not sure why you don't. I wouldn't bite your head off for asking me things, wondering where I've been. You have no problem needling others and you used to be that way with me. Lately it feels like you don't care. That you're no longer yourself, maybe afraid that I will hold it against you."
"I really care." Sebastian sighed. "I guess I didn't want to scare you off. I've never done this before, you know that. I have myself to compare with your exes and I guess I thought it would be best to model myself after your longest lasting boyfriend."
"Adam wasn't my longest lasting boyfriend." Kurt frowned at Sebastian. "Before you, Chandler was."
"Who's Chandler?" Sebastian questioned, not having heard this name before.
Kurt laughed. "Let me tell you all about him. It's ok to ask things of me Sebastian, it's ok to get mad and tell me what you need. We're both in this relationship and we both can't be secret keepers, someone has to be the prier."
"You are that way with a lot of other people, can't you be it with us too?" Sebastian didn't want to go too far. "And if I'm changing, it's somewhat fear out of losing you by being too much myself and somewhat natural. I don't feel the need to fight as much as I used to. You're my calm place, my center. But yes, I guess sometimes I resent you and am angry and instead of letting it out I hold it in. I'm getting better learning how to tap you and get you to open up but you do it so much better." They had both become complacent, or maybe they'd both retreated a little into their shells that they'd built over the years and had been so comfortable in. Being out of their protective covering and honest and open with each other was scary and dangerous but could be so rewarding.
"We will be that way with each other." Kurt vowed and Sebastian held him to it, and held himself to it too, even if it invoked either of their ire, they would be more open with each other. They didn't hide things, didn't purposefully keep it from the other, they just neglected to talk about some things. That would change and with all change, it was hard, really hard but then it became easier and then it became as easy as breathing, just so used to it, wondering why it wasn't always that way and not remembering it any other way.
–
Kurt coming home with a bruised face, cuts and a broken set of ribs had Sebastian quietly seething. He instantly demanded to know what happened and why the hell Kurt didn't call him. Who did he call instead? The name Rachel tumbled out and part of his annoyance slipped out at the word. "Was Blaine there too?"
"You know those two." Kurt gave a small shrug then hissed when it pulled on his injuries. "Do we have any ice packs in the freezer?"
"Shit, yes." Sebastian jumped to his feet and went and gathered what was in there, leaving two so they could be rotated once they were no longer cold enough. He came back and helped Kurt angle his arm to hold one against his ribs easier and held another to Kurt's face. "Now, what happened?"
"I called Rachel-" He paused to let Sebastian settle down again at the name. "Because I had just left her at the restaurant at lunch. There was a kid getting beat up for being gay and I intervened. He was half of my size and when I was his age, I always wished someone would intervene, even a stranger, especially a strange sometimes."
"And the ones beating him up? How big were they?" Sebastian already knew, probably twice Kurt's size. Still, that was way out of line to pick on someone even smaller than Kurt too.
"They were adults beating up a kid. They slung so many terrible names at him. I couldn't just let another kid suffer through that. If I couldn't have someone do it for me, I would do it for someone else, give them hope."
"You had no place fighting, you're not a fighter." Sebastian moved the ice pack in his hand to another bruise on Kurt's face. "You don't even have acting combat."
"Whatever, didn't matter." Kurt stated stubbornly. "We have to stick up for each other in this community, even if it's not our place or in our wheelhouse. I thought the 70s, 80s and 90s taught us that if nothing else."
Sebastian sighed, handing it to Kurt. If they didn't protect each other, nobody else would. If others did, they had to have some kind of personal connection in the community or a really, really big heart. "You should have at least called for help first." Sebastian flicked Kurt in the nose. "And called your boyfriend. Do you know how worried I was? I hadn't heard whether or not you got called out of town and then the time ticked by and you weren't answering your phone." Kurt held up his bandaged hand. "You called Rachel."
"Yeah, but that was before the paramedics made it impossible to use it."
"Rachel should have called me."
"Rachel should have called you." Kurt agreed.
"She shouldn't have called Blaine."
"She definitely shouldn't have called Blaine." Kurt parroted but in his own way. Sebastian rolled his eyes affectionately at Kurt.
"When did he get there?"
"Maybe 10 minutes after we arrived? I had a bunch of x-rays and whatnot to do and I thought for sure she would be reaching out to you. I mean, I get why she called Blaine, she reaches out to him first for everything. I expected one of them to call you." Kurt was a bit morose now. "I wanted you there, not them."
Sebastian pressed a kiss to any space on Kurt's face or neck that wasn't bruised, there weren't many options. "I would have been there. I would have so been there. I would have wanted to be there with you, I should have been there with you, I wish I was there for you."
Kurt lifted his uninjured hand to Sebastian's face. "Shh, it's ok, I'm ok." Sebastian realized he was unraveling a little and tried to actively calm himself down. A strange quirk to Kurt's lips. "Thank you for caring so much."
"Of course I care. You're my boyfriend and I love you so much." Sebastian pressed his forehead against Kurt's shoulder, his arms linked around Kurt, wanting to squeeze him tight, reassure himself that Kurt was still there in his arms but conscious of the bruises and broken bones he held back. It made Sebastian so incensed that Kurt was ever put into that position to begin with.
He should have been there, holding Kurt's hand, pressing kisses to his face before turning to hear the doctor out, together. He should have been the one helping Kurt home, a much more comfortable ride in his towncar than the taxi Rachel probably paid for. She didn't even bother walking him to the door.
He pointed that out.
"I told her not to come in. I only wanted to be here, in your arms. If she came it would have delayed my deepest desires." Kurt pressed his face into Sebastian's hair, his arms going around Sebastian's shoulders. Sebastian pressed kisses along Kurt's shoulder and neck, not sexual ones, but soft, soothing ones, ones for both of them. "Mmm..." Kurt made a small sound. "I'm all grimy, I had to put the clothes I wore back on." There was truth to that, there was dirt, blood and torn places in his clothing and Sebastian nearly growled as his attention was brought back to it.
"Let me help you with that." His tone was intentionally soft, keeping them both calm. He was trying to reassure Kurt, but the smaller male was doing a better job of that for both of them. His actions were careful and deliberate as he undid Kurt's shirt and helped him shimmer out of it. It wouldn't be the first time that Sebastian helped him take his clothes off that wouldn't lead to sex but it wasn't a common action.
Kurt moaned in pain when he moved in a way that particularly pulled on his injuries. Sebastian instantly jumped away, not wanting to hurt Kurt anymore. He went scrambling for the ice packs once more and pressing them onto the worst of the bruises he saw. He hissed when he saw how dark purple the ones on Kurt's ribs were beneath and above the bandages.
"I should have been called." Sebastian whispered fiercely once more and Kurt nodded, tears in his eyes, but not from the physical pain, but the pain that Sebastian was feeling for being left out of it.
Kurt took the ice pack Sebastian held against him and moved so he was in Sebastian's lap, he didn't even notice that he was the only one half-clothed. They'd been together for long enough with so many different states of undress between them.
"I wish you had been called." Kurt let Sebastian adjust them so they were more comfortable and Kurt was more in a relaxing position against his chest. He reclaimed the ice pack as well, holding it gently against Kurt's bandages, knowing not to keep it on any one spot for too long. "Rachel will never make that mistake again."
"There's not going to be another opportunity." Sebastian grumbled in response to that small win. He would have loved to hear Kurt lay into Rachel to the point where she would never go against his wishes again when it came to Sebastian. It had to be something glorious to witness. It also should have never been a factor or an issue.
"It won't happen again." Kurt purposefully misinterpreted Sebastian's words, likely thinking he would be the more correct one in this situation. Sebastian had an ace up his sleeve that Kurt wouldn't even think of nor would know were employed. "I'm sorry." Kurt whispered against Sebastian's neck, turning his head enough to press a kiss against his throat. "I'm sorry about Rachel, I'm sorry about worrying you. I'm not sorry I intervened, though I am sorry I didn't think through it and find a better way to protect myself while protecting that boy."
Sebastian groaned and shook his head. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I wish it hadn't happened the way it did but you did what you thought was right, what was right. I wish Rachel wasn't so wrapped up with Blaine and it wasn't right what she did, but there was no way it was your fault. I even get calling her." Sebastian let Kurt kiss whatever part of his jaw and throat he wanted, this was a lot safer of a task than touching Kurt in any way in return. He was afraid he would press even the slightest amount of pressure to something fragile.
"By the time I realized she didn't call you, it was too late to make sure someone else did. I thought maybe she couldn't get a hold of you or you were stuck somewhere or were on your way. Time passed and I realized she hadn't even attempted to call you or text you. I was discharged and released into their custody. I tried to send Blaine home pretty much the moment he arrived, he refused to go. I didn't need their help, I could have gotten to you on my own but I would have always taken your help."
"No you wouldn't have." Sebastian laughed and kissed Kurt on the nose. "You're a proud, stubborn Hummel. You would have claimed independence and super abilities up until we walked through the door and shut it behind us. Then, maybe, you would have accepted my help." Sebastian knew that much, had seen it in action before. It wasn't much different than Kurt in the kitchen or while event planning. The only time he dictated was either when asked and shown they were willing or when there was hired help, then he had no trouble giving orders or accepting help.
"I've accepted your help since coming home." Kurt pointed out.
"A rare admission of not feeling well." Sebastian teased and Kurt huffed and was on the verge of pouting and moving off of Sebastian's lap. "It's touching, seeing how much you want and need me."
"Of course I want you and need you, I love you. All I've wanted since I regained consciousness was you by my side." Kurt hesitated and Sebastian wasn't sure if he would say it. Sebastian was reeling from finding out Kurt lost consciousness, his eyes scanning over Kurt again, trying to determine if it really was safe for him to be here now, rather than at the hospital. He'd make a few calls, see if one of his family doctors would look Kurt over and give their opinion. "Before I blacked out, I was thinking how upset you'd be and how I wanted to reassure you and keep this particular look out of your eyes and off your face." Kurt cupping his hands around Sebastian's face lost some of it's intensity when one was so bandaged up but it was intended to reassure Sebastian, to soothe that particular look off of Sebastian's face.
The look only deepened as his eyes caught sight of some blood that had dried by Kurt's ear and his own hand shakily rose to investigate. Kurt held perfectly still, letting Sebastian look even though he obviously wanted to play it off as not as bad as it was.
"It didn't even need stitches." He couldn't stop himself from saying that much though.
"My tough petit chou." Sebastian's voice wobbled a little but there was a proud glint in his eyes too, he was also trying to be strong for them, as strong as Kurt was being. It was tough being strong and vulnerable at the same time but they both managed it because it was true for both of them. There was never any artifice between them.
"What does that mean?" Kurt snuggled into Sebastian's arms once more, the ice pack sliding along his back as he did it and Sebastian switched it to his other hand. "I've heard you say that before and something similar. Usually it's when I'm nearly asleep or am nearly out the door for work." He poked Sebastian in the side in mild punishment for calling him names that he didn't fully understand this whole time. He wasn't sure if it was something super romantic or borderline offensive. "I never get to ask you because you purposefully say it when I don't have a chance to ask."
"Little cabbage." Sebastian teased and squirmed away from Kurt's finger attempting to poke him in the same spot again and stronger. "It also means sweetheart. I'm thinking like artichoke heart but cabbage heart... I'm not sure why it's cabbage or some other vegetable in a lot of languages. It's just the French's particular choice of food endearments."
"Kind of like pumpkin." Kurt was smiling, which was always a good sign. "Could have always been some thing worse."
"Little flea is also a common endearment in French." Sebastian teased and nearly toppled Kurt off his lap when the poke became a pinch. "Hey! I'm going to hurt you if you keep that up."
"Not intentionally." Kurt knew that much was true. "Don't you dare ever call me that though."
"You'd never know, you don't speak French." Sebastian pressed his forehead gently against Kurt's, a teasing smile on his lips.
"I'll learn just to make sure you don't call me that without repercussions."
"I'd love it if you learned French." Sebastian lifted a challenging brow. "If it's the fear of being called that without knowing that I'm doing so that drives you to it, then I'm not opposed to the reason."
"I'll learn just what the expression is and make sure I never hear it out of your mouth." Kurt countered and Sebastian sighed.
"I wouldn't call you that anyway. I prefer petit chou and chouchou among a few others. Ma petite puce isn't exactly what I would associate with you." Sebastian made a face, he'd called Blaine that once upon a time but he didn't want to tell Kurt that. It wasn't anything serious and it had been half in jest on the occasions he'd said it. "Darling, by the way, chouchou means darling."
"Oh." Kurt pulled back and looked at Sebastian. "But you called me that ages ago, before we got together, before we could have ever been a thing. Is it like southern expression, like sweetie? Or the British's, Love?"
"No, it's a very specific type of darling." They held each other's gazes and Kurt melted, his fingers reaching for Sebastian's shirt and his mouth seeking Sebastian's out.
"For so long. Sebastian, I was just terrible to you." Kurt pressed kisses across whatever skin he could find and he was finding a lot as he revealed more, opening Sebastian's shirt.
Sebastian groaned and gently pushed Kurt back from him, detaching their mouths with considerable effort. "You didn't know, you didn't do it on purpose and you're here now, have been for years and that's what's important. It was good for me to learn how to wait and be patient." Sebastian stopped Kurt from continuing. "Not while you're injured."
"And I'm tough, I can handle a little pain."
"No." Sebastian shuddered. "I don't want to cause you any pain. We can do this later, when you're more mobile and not broken." His hand brushed lightly against the skin of Kurt's waist. "I can wait until you've healed first."
"What if I don't want to wait?" Kurt asked softly and Sebastian slanted a glare down at him and Kurt smiled disarmingly. "Ok, ok, I can wait too. I can learn patience."
Sebastian stroked Kurt's spine carefully, thoughtfully. "I can help you shower and remove the day's horrors from your skin." He'd toss the clothes for Kurt too, knowing that would be the hardest thing for Kurt to do. He might even be attempted to repair the garments. Sebastian never wanted to see them again and have the reminder. It would take Kurt time to heal and that would be reminder enough.
"I would like that." Kurt started to slide off of Sebastian, moving gingerly, the injuries catching up to him now and Sebastian was determined to see to each one until they were gone. Sebastian kept his hands out for Kurt in case he wasn't as stable on his feet as he thought. Kurt took his hands instead. "Will you call me those affectionate endearments while I'm awake? I know we say we love each other often but it's nice to hear those out of your mouth too, especially now that I know what they mean."
For whatever reason, Sebastian had been more fearful of Kurt knowing what those words so close and near to his heart meant more so than the generic 'I love you'. He felt it fully and every time Kurt said it, it warmed him and meant a lot, but the terms of endearment spoke even louder to him.
Sebastian wouldn't hold back anymore, he couldn't hold back anymore out of fear. Kurt had been hurt seriously today and it could have gone a lot worse than it had and Kurt would have never known the extent of his feelings. How many of Kurt's exes told him they loved him? Friends and family told Kurt that they loved him too and he echoed those sentiments back. What did those words even mean to Kurt anymore? While he obviously did love people and meant it when he said it, those words were a little less potent than other things they could say. Sebastian's words of endearment had obviously touched Kurt deeply too.
–
"I don't want to clothe your body, Sebastian!"
"Why not?" Sebastian demanded, this was a sore spot with him that always got to him whenever the topic came up and it came up a lot since Kurt was now a bonafide designer. Yet he'd never made anything for Sebastian specifically or with him in mind. In a lot of ways, it was Kurt's personal expression of love that was unclouded by the saturation in the world. Yet, he'd also done so for a fair amount of their friends.
"Because, I want to take clothes off of you, and the only thing I want on your body is me."
"What a load of -..." Sebastian hesitated and let Kurt's words register and wash over him. He blushed for the first time in his adult life. "Oh."
"Yeah, oh."
"But I was friends with you before you knew you wanted to be with me. You never made me clothes then either." Sebastian pointed out.
"Yeah, well, I probably knew it then too without realizing it." Kurt crossed his arms over his chest, feeling exposed by his admissions. "I just didn't want to think about it or acknowledge it since I was still with Adam at the time."
"You made Adam clothes." Sebastian was enjoying this, taunting Kurt, making him feel uncomfortable and pink. He stalked closer.
"I've told you a million times already about my relationship with Adam. You just don't seem to want to believe it."
"It's hard to believe when I know how we are together." Sebastian admitted, his hands sliding around Kurt's hips. "Although I can also believe it because I saw the two of you together when you were others around, it was always so PG."
"The sex wasn't exactly anything X rated." Even though the fact that it was sex should have automatically made it that way. "Lots of sheets and cuddles."
"I suppose he was British, it's kind of fitting for him to be a bit more modest and proper in things." He was always that way with everyone.
"Sebastian." Kurt warned. He was still friends with Adam and even Sebastian still liked Adam, but he was glad that the guy was across the pond and not still dating his boyfriend. Kurt was all his now and that's how things were going to stay. He didn't think Kurt would run back to Adam even if Adam came back to live here for life and wanted to restart the relationship. He'd tried resuscitating the relationship but Kurt had been firmly his by then. Adam had been surprisingly genial about it and pretended as if he didn't even try. Kurt let slip that Adam had talked to him about it on a couple of occasions before Adam knew about him and Sebastian.
Kurt always turned him down. Hadn't wanted to try the long distance thing to begin with and definitely not after he understood his feelings for Sebastian weren't quite platonic.
"You make clothes for Blaine."
"Because I can't stand his hideous fashion sense. If he sticks around too much longer with Rachel, she'll start to backslide. She looks hot these days. I will not be associated with their dire fashion senses."
Sebastian had no opinion on that, but he supposed Brittany and Santana had said something similar and he thought they were attractive for females.
"I guess Broadway has been good for her." Sebastian said and then when Kurt glared at him, he chuckled. "And you, of course. She wouldn't have gotten through any of the doors at Broadway without your help."
Annoyingly, but not surprisingly, Blaine was also on Broadway. It was never really in question, considering who his father was, even with his hideous fashion sense. Perhaps that's why Rachel had latched onto him in return, when she already had Kurt.
"So you really don't want to have my body clothed? Like, ever?"
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Well, when we're out and about, I guess you'll have to wear clothes, as will I."
"Hmm, will you make my clothes then, and then when we're in private you can rip them off of me in a feverish heat, wanting to get me undressed again?"
"No." Kurt stated moodily.
"Why not?"
"Because while your clothes are a lot nicer than when we first met, they're still not my designs. I wouldn't want to ruin my designs, even to get at your body. I don't mind tearing those clothes to shreds to get at you."
"Oh yeah?" Sebastian taunted softly, mockingly. "Then why am I still wearing anything?"
Kurt's eyes flashed, taking his challenge at face value, he shoved Sebastian into the bedroom and pulled the clothes off of Sebastian as they went in, some clothes ripped a little in his actions. Then he was shoved onto the bed and Kurt didn't take off any of his clothes yet, working Sebastian over with his tongue.
"No, no, you have too many clothes on. I want us to be flesh to flesh." Kurt pulled away and wiggled out of his clothes. It was like he was dressed one instant and completely naked the next as if they just melted off his body. "How do you do that?" Sebastian asked in awe, not for the first time.
"A bit of fashion and theater tricks." Kurt answered mysteriously, and he never expanded on that. Some secrets, he said, were just too good to share.
–
"Why won't you let me buy you anything or give you anything?" Sebastian demanded when Kurt turned him down yet again. He thought the car would be perfect and he would have his own driver. After a few of the past events, he had secretly assigned someone to tail Kurt, make sure nothing like the time he'd come home broken and bruised would happen again.
Kurt fought him on everything, from little gifts to bigger ones. He wouldn't let Sebastian spend his money on him and if he did, he would buy the next round.
"Because, you're my boyfriend! I didn't start this relationship for you to wait on me hand and foot and cater to my every whim! I make my own money and it's good money at that. I am not in a relationship with you to have you buy me stuff. I'm not with you for your money, name or power!"
"Where does this stem from? I know you aren't with me for those things! I do have money though, unlike your previous boyfriends and I want to get you things! It's something I would like to do for you, and for me."
"You're harsh." Kurt spat. "That was an uncalled for thing to say about my exes."
"You're the harsh one. You let Adam give you that stuffed giraffe and Blaine buys you things all the time. You don't even make a fuss when Santana gets you something."
"It would be rude to push a gift back at them when they've already gone out of their way and bought it. But I've told you, Seb, I don't want gifts from you. You're enough, just you, as you are."
"So it doesn't matter what I want? That I want to give you something, so I can see something I bought on you or next to you, see you appreciate something I've taken a lot of time and deliberation to pick out?"
"Seb..." Kurt's tone turned suddenly, understanding coming to him and he came closer to Sebastian. "Do you think I don't know you care about me? That I don't appreciate you? Don't appreciate having you in my life and what you do for me, every day just being with me?"
"I don't complain when you buy me things." Just that he didn't make him things.
"I get you things because you've never said that you don't want me to. If you don't, I won't." Kurt wrapped his hands into the front of Sebastian's shirt, leaning up and into him. "There have been very few times when someone has purchased me something that I've appreciated it appropriately. It means so much more to me when someone makes something or spends time with me."
"You're so materialistic in so many ways." Sebastian countered, still annoyed with Kurt but didn't want him to huff and leave him standing there, so he wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist.
"For good quality things that I've made or purchased on my own merits. There's a sense of pride in that for me, especially considering the roots I've come from."
Sebastian looked over his face. "So what you're telling me is, that if I make you something then you will accept it?"
"I don't like that devious look." Kurt twitched a little as he watched an even more mischievous look cross over Sebastian's face than what he'd already had.
"It'll be good, very good, trust me."
Maybe it was to each of their ire, but it was what they both needed. The end would be worth it.
–
It was one of their worst fights, ever. And it was about something they both cared about deeply, each other, their jobs and their time together.
"Where the hell have you been Sebastian?" Kurt demanded when Sebastian came stumbling in, completely wasted.
"Oh, Kurt." He burped and then chuckled as he hadn't expected to come out. "You're here." He didn't sound overly excited about it. "For a change." Oh, he was asking for a fight with those words and one had already been brimming.
"It was our anniversary!" Kurt shouted and Sebastian froze, no, that couldn't be right. Their anniversary was in August, wasn't it? It was... it was... July, wasn't it? No, it was August, he remembered flipping the calender to some mundane green scenery at work. It had some kind of inspirational quote but Sebastian didn't pay attention to it. It was too boring to look at. August should have still had lush colors and fun on it's page.
"Well good on you for remembering. The only time you seem to have for me is when you get the little reminders on your phone. I didn't get any such reminder-." He pulled out his phone and had a hard time seeing it, focusing on it really. He moved it in and out, searching for the most clear area. It would clear up and then blur instantly.
He frowned and showed it to Kurt, got a bit too close to his face and Kurt pulled back and shoved his arm away. "Whatever, Sebastian, there's no point in arguing with you right now. I'm heading to the airport. I delayed my flight long enough to ensure you got home safely."
Sebastian was drunk and he wanted to wound. He'd wanted to wound for awhile. "Yeah, go. That's what you do best. Run away to a different city, a different country rather than spend any real length of time with me."
Kurt whirled on him. "You knew before you started dating me that I had aspirations and goals and dreams and some of them quite lofty. All of them required travel."
"Yeah, well I didn't expect you to breeze in and out like the temperamental wind. You said it was our anniversary, but I don't even know if we have a relationship. Most sane people wouldn't call this a real relationship."
Kurt held up his hand. "Oh, ok, good one Sebastian. You win. Does that make it easier to hook up with other guys then? Telling yourself that we're not really in a relationship, that if we were, I'd be here more often?"
"I haven't cheated!" Sebastian slurred and stumbled a little toward Kurt, his hands found and gripped Kurt hard and shook him harder. "I have not been with another guy since we got together, before that even. I know you're just waiting for me to mess up to leave me. Well it won't be my fault if we end. You're the one who could probably be with hundreds of guys at different ports and I would never know!"
"Sebastian, let me go before you regret saying anything more." Kurt still wasn't scared of him and was trying to brush his hands off of him and he growled in anger and shook Kurt again. "Before you do anything you regret." Kurt amended and there was something in his tone that had Sebastian instantly releasing him. "I've got to go... we'll talk more when I get back... when we're both sober." Kurt hesitated and then darted in and kissed Sebastian's cheek. "Your anger doesn't scare me." He whispered before disappearing out the door with his case.
It was a promise of more, but still, Sebastian feared that was the unfortunate end. Kurt would go wherever he was going and think on it and decide that he didn't want to be with Sebastian anymore. Sebastian slammed his bedroom door closed and collapsed face-first onto the bed.
He remembered talking to Kurt on the phone once that morning when Kurt landed and Sebastian fell back asleep, sleeping off his drunken stupor. He didn't remember what was said. He got up and got himself to work for the next few days but then called in sick.
He remembered Kurt calling but he was cranky and ended it sooner than he normally would. He had a pounding headache and he felt worse than any hangover.
Then his door was opening and he threw a pillow at it. "Go away, 'Tana."
"Well hello to you too." Kurt greeted with a chuckle, avoiding another pillow sent his way before Sebastian registered who it was.
"Chou?" He mumbled out.
"Affectionate nicknames, good, that's the right path." Kurt came closer and sank down onto the bed next to Sebastian. He placed his cooler hand onto Sebastian's burning forehead.
"Go 'way, sick."
"Yeah, I figured so when you avoided my calls after telling me to bugger off the one time you answered. Only when you're sick are you that sore and cross with people." He chuckled again. "Even with me, if you even realized it was me. You could have thought you were talking to a telemarketer."
"Could've been drunk or hungover." Sebastian pointed out on a cottony-dry mouth.
"Yeah, but I heard it in the tone of your voice too, very nasally. I rearranged things and came home early."
"Dumb, you need to be on a flight again soon. Don't get sick. Go 'way."
Kurt clucked his tongue. "Baby, I haven't slept anywhere other than in this bed since I moved in when I am in this town. I'm not going anywhere, especially while you're sick."
"Don't be sick on your next trip. Go stay with 'Tana. Super contagious." Sebastian mumbled, losing the battle with sleep and Kurt pressed a kiss to his temple and rearranged him, pulling the blanket over him more firmly.
"We're going to talk about that when you're feeling better." Kurt promised. "But it's not a conversation for right now."
"If you're going to leave me, just do it now."
"I'm not going to do that, you stubborn ass." Kurt said fondly and fluffed up his pillow and looked around the room. "First though, we need to get you better." He reached for the drawer next to the bed and Sebastian's hand shot out, curling around his wrist.
"No."
"I know your side of the bed's table is full of lube and condoms but maybe you have some vitamins in there? Definitely some tissues." Kurt's side was filled with books that Sebastian borrowed when he was alone. "Your tissue box that's out is completely empty and all over your bed. You're a completely adorable mess."
"Don't." Sebastian repeated, keeping Kurt from reaching into that drawer.
"It wasn't like I was going to count." Kurt's tone sounded a little strained.
"No." Sebastian said again, struggling to get up to stop him.
"Ok, ok." Kurt placed another kiss on his forehead. "Just get some rest, ok?" He got up to his feet and Sebastian still had hold of Kurt's hand.
"What? No, Kurt, I'm sorry, don't- don't go." Sebastian didn't actually want him to leave.
"I'll be back before you know it." Kurt promised. "I need to get some supplies. A lot of what we have is either empty or expired." Despite everything, they weren't all that sick very often.
"Don't leave." Sebastian repeated pitifully and Kurt shook his head and kissed his forehead once more.
"Let me go, Seb."
"Never." Sebastian whined and Kurt soothed back his hair and he was nearly asleep when he heard.
"It won't be for long."
"It's what you always say." Sebastian tossed at him and all he heard from Kurt was a tortured sigh.
He was awoken by a high pitched squeal from his phone and he groaned and buried his head in his pillow, hoping to drown it out. It ended, thankfully and he fell back into a blissful sleep. Then he heard pounding on his door and Santana's voice so far away, sounded like her throat was clogged with tears. Had she and Brittany broken up?
He disappeared back into a illness filled sleep and horrible dreams.