Lizbeth "Liz" Tulle-17 (District 8 Female)
"Do you think it's gonna rain?" I ask, my voice soft and low, my eyes glued to the dull, gray, cloud-filled sky above us as Pallas and I slowly make our way through the maze-like streets of the arena in total silence.
And I mean that literally.
Do you think it's gonna rain, is the first thing either of us has said in hours. And the silence is starting to get to me.
At first, it felt like a blessing. Pallas was in a bad place, and I didn't know how to help her. I tried, but everything I did just made things worse. At one point, I actually made her cry just by looking at her.
So I backed off and left her alone. And when that didn't work, I started to panic.
And that's how I got to where I am now. Using the weather to coax a few words out of my ally because I miss the sound of her voice.
I know that sounds incredibly lame and cheesy, but it's the truth. I miss the sound of her voice, and I would give anything to hear it again. Even if that means I have to stand here while she screams at me.
To be honest, I would actually prefer that at this point. I can deal with being screamed at. Seventeen years of being chastised by my mom for using my dessert fork to eat my salad has helped me build up an immunity to it.
But I've never learned how to deal with something like this. Because I've never had to.
The fact that I understand why she's acting the way she is doesn't make this any easier for me to deal with. If anything, it makes it even harder.
And I know I could make her understand why we had to leave Luciana behind if she would just give me a chance to explain myself. But she refuses to do that. And as a result, I feel like the worst person in the world right now.
Not because Luciana is dead — I could genuinely care less about that. And yes, I'm well aware of how heartless that makes me sound. But I don't care.
The truth is, I hated Luciana. I hated everything about her, and I'm glad she's dead. I would have preferred that she make it a little further into the Game before dying, but beggars can't be choosers.
No, the reason I feel bad is because her death hurt Pallas. It shattered her, and that broke me. It wasn't supposed to — and the fact that it did is absolutely terrifying — but it did.
Why? Because I did the one thing I wasn't supposed to do. I got attached. And yes, I mean that in the worst possible way imaginable.
I fell for Pallas. And I fell hard.
And right now, I would do anything to make the pain she's in go away.
And I know I could if she would just let me try.
"Did you hear me?" I ask, my voice shaking as I reach out and put my trembling hand on her shoulder, only to have her flinch at my touch.
"Don't touch me," she whispers, her body tense and ready, her voice flat and lifeless as she stands there and glares at me with a dead, defeated look burning in her dull, lifeless green eyes.
"I'm sorry," I mumble, my heart ripping in two as I stand there and silently berate myself for fucking up yet again. "I just wanted to make sure you heard me."
"I did," she mumbles, her response trailing off into oblivion as the arena is rocked by the crash of thunder as the heavens split open and drown the arena with rain.
"And?" I say, the word slipping past my lips as a question instead of the statement I meant it to be.
"And what?" she mumbles, her voice soft and distant as she stares up into the sky and lets the rain wash over her.
"I think we should head back to the temple we passed in the last square. The one with the giant silver dragon statue."
"Why?" she asks, her voice picking up just a hint of life as all of the tension and angst she's been carrying around for the last few hours is washed away by the rain.
"Because it's raining cats and dogs out here, and the temple is the only building we've seen with a roof and walls that isn't locked."
"That's ok. I like the rain."
"I do too," I lie. "But it's also getting cold. And we don't want to be caught outside in the rain once the sun goes down."
"That's a fair point," she says, her voice shaking with every word as she reluctantly tears her eyes away from the sky and looks down at the empty canteen in her hand. "Do you think we'll be safe in the temple?"
"I don't know about safe, but we'll definitely be dry," I say, my lame attempt at a joke falling flat on its face with a resounding thud as she lets her canteen slip from her fingers before bursting into tears.
"Hey, I'm sorry," I say, my words soft and soothing as I silently kick myself for being so stupid. "I was just trying to lighten the mood a little."
"I know you were," she sobs, a small stream of tears streaking down her rain-soaked cheeks as she staggers into my arms. "And I appreciate that."
"Then why are you crying?"
"Because I don't deserve you, Liz," she sobs, her voice dripping with sadness and fear.
"Yes, you do," I whisper, my voice dropping half an octave as I stand there with my arms wrapped tight around her trembling body as she buries her face in my neck and sobs.
"No, I don't.
"All you've ever tried to do is help me, and I've never thanked you once. All I've done is push you away. And I'm sorry for that."
"You don't have to apologize to me for anything, Pallas."
"Yes, I do.
"I know I'm not an easy person to get close to. But that hasn't stopped you from trying. And I'm sorry for making this so hard. I just hope you can forgive me?"
"There's nothing to forgive."
"Thank you," she whispers, her body relaxing slightly as she carefully untangles herself from our hug before using the water-logged sleeve of her tunic to wipe the tears from her eyes. "For everything."
"You're welcome," I say, a warm, happy little smile on my lips as I bend down to scoop up her canteen before slipping it into the folds of my tunic and taking her trembling hand in mine.
"Now, let's get the hell out of here while we can still feel our fingers and toes," I say, my second, slightly more successful attempt at a joke drawing a weak little smile to her lips as she falls in step beside me and we begin our short, wet journey back to our new base camp.
Fortunately, it only takes us a few minutes to make the trip. But that doesn't stop them from being some of the longest, coldest, soggiest minutes of my life. And by the time we finally get inside the temple, I'm so wet and cold that I don't think I'll ever feel warm again.
"I need you to know something, Liz," she whispers. "And, the truth is, I should have told you this already."
"What is it?" I ask, my heart jumping into my throat as I stand there and imagine all of the terrible things she's about to say to me.
"I don't blame you for what happened.
"I know you think I do, but I don't."
"You don't?" I ask, my voice dripping with shock and confusion.
"Of course not," she says, the faintest spark of life flickering in her eyes as she pulls me in for another long, soggy, little hug.
"Thank you, Pallas. You have no idea how much I needed to hear you say that."
"Yes, I do," she whispers, her voice soft and low as the two of us stand there in the middle of the temple and hold each other as the rain continues to fall and the sun slowly slips below the horizon.
Night has finally fallen on the arena.
Alfonso Cadel-18 (District 1 Male)
"I don't think the rain is gonna let up," says Helena, her eyes drifting up from my face to the window above my head as the rain continues to crash down on the arena.
"I didn't expect it to," I groan, my eyes fixed on the little green apple in my hand as I carefully cut a chunk out of it with my knife and pop it in my mouth before continuing. "And to be perfectly honest, I hope it doesn't."
"What do you mean?" she asks, her face a mask of calm, confident indifference despite the confused look in her eyes.
"Well, the longer it rains, the longer SB has to stay in one spot. And the longer she stays in one spot, the easier it'll be for us to find her."
"We can only hope," she mumbles, her voice flat and matter of fact as she sits there and stares out the window with her machete resting on her lap and her piss poor excuse for a flashlight on the ground next to her.
"I've never been one for hoping," I say, my voice fun and flirty as I stand up and toss and take a peek out the window as a bolt of lightning streaks across the sky, followed by yet another thunderous boom that seems to linger in the air longer than the one before it. "I'm more of a doing kind of guy."
"What was that?" she asks, a confused look on her face that's so painfully fake that it's almost funny.
"Oh, we both know you heard me," I tease, my voice dripping with lust and seduction as I take one last big bite out of my apple before tossing the rest over my shoulder and out the window with a playful flourish.
"Of course, I did," she says, her voice tinged with annoyance as she pushes herself back to her feet with an adorable little huff. "I was just giving you the chance to take it back so I wouldn't have to embarrass the shit out of you by turning you down in front of the entire country."
"Well, would you look at that? Our perfect little ice queen might have some bite in her after all."
"And what's that supposed to mean?" she asks, her voice calm and even as she stands there with her machete in her hand and a questioning look on her face.
"Nothing bad," I assure her, my hands raised in mock surrender as I stand there and wait for her to slip her weapon back into its sheath before continuing. "I just didn't think you had it in you to bite back like that."
"Well, I do."
"I can see that. And I'm sorry if I said something that offended you. That wasn't my intention."
"I'm sure it wasn't," she says, her face just as passive and unreadable as it's always been as I stand there and pray that I didn't just cross a line with her that I can't uncross.
My little sister always said my mouth was gonna get me in trouble one day if I didn't learn to watch it. ... I hate it when she's right.
"Relax, Alfonso. I'm not mad at you."
"Of course, you're not," I say, my voice dripping with relief even as I try to sound as confident and cocky as always.
"So, what's our next move? Get back out there and keep looking? Or, do we wanna call it for the night and start again in the morning once the rain lets up?"
"We keep looking," she says, her hand resting loosely on the handle of her machete as she bends down to scoop up her flashlight.
"Leaving her out there all night by herself is a death sentence, and we both know that. And I'm not ready to give up on her just yet. Not when we still need her."
"Ok, fair enough."
"But?" she asks.
"I think we should wait until after the gamemakers play the tribute to leave.
"That way, we know for sure that she's still alive, and we're not wasting our time looking for her."
"I don't know," she mumbles, her body language making it perfectly clear that she's not comfortable with the idea of wasting any more time than we already have. "Are you sure it's a good idea to waste what little daylight we have left waiting for a tribute we might not even be able to see?"
"Not really," I admit. "But neither is going back out to look for SB without knowing if she's still alive."
"You're right. I hate to admit it, but you are.
"Ok, then. We'll wait," she whispers, her voice tinged with exhaustion as she plops back down on the floor before pulling a half-full bottle of water out of her pack and draining it in a single gulp. "But if the rain lets up before the tribute starts. ..."
"We'll head back out and start looking," I say, a serious look on my face as I plop back down on the other side of the room below my window with a huff. "But what are we gonna do if she's dead?"
"I don't know. We'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it. Won't we?"
"I guess we will," I say, my voice trailing off into oblivion as a soft, eerie silence quickly washes over the two of us and the little one-room hut we're hiding in.
The fact that it only lasts about thirty seconds before I shatter it with a question I'm dying to get an answer to doesn't make it any less creepy and uncomfortable.
"So ... I have to ask. Did you really not find my joke about being a doer as charming and witty as I did?"
"Do you really want me to answer that question? I mean, are you sure your ego can handle it?"
"Would I have asked if I didn't and I wasn't?"
"Ok. Don't say I didn't warn you.
"The truth is, I found your joke to be just as charming and witty as you are. Does that answer your question?"
"It does."
"Do you have any more?"
"I don't."
"Good. Then I'm gonna try and get a little sleep while I can. Wake me up when the tribute starts."
Ashlynn 'Ash' Haskell-15 (District 12 Female)
Trigger warning: Suicide
"Are you ok, Ash?" asks Ashton, his voice soft and concerned as he plops down on the floor across from me. "You haven't said anything in a while."
"I'm fine," I lie, my voice raw and hoarse, my composure hanging by a thread as I sit here and stare up at the faces flashing in the sky with the little blue geode Suvi gave me in my hand.
"No, you're not," he mumbles, his voice dripping with pain and concern as he sits there and fidgets nervously.
"Yes, I am," I growl, my voice shaking with every word as I sit here and fidget with my geode as Luciana's face slowly fades away into the night, and Maira's pops up to replace it.
And that's when the pieces finally fall into place for Ashton.
"I'm sorry about Maira, Ash. I know she and I had our differences, but. ..."
"Don't," I snap, my voice hard and angry. "You don't get to be sad about this. It's your fault she's dead."
"That's not fair, and you know it."
"Neither is what happened to her," I growl, my eyes fixed on her smiling face as it slowly fades away like all the others. "It should have been me."
"You can't think like that, Ash. It'll destroy you," he whispers, his eyes drifting off of me and down to Cassis as he snores away beside him.
"Good. It's no less than I deserve," I say, my composure shattering into a million tiny pieces as I bury my head in my knees and start to sob.
"That's not true, and you know it.
"You did everything you could to stop Shimmer from killing her short of throwing yourself in front of the spear."
"Then maybe that's what I should have done."
"And what would that have changed?" he asks, his voice soft and even as he rips open the package for one of the reflective blankets we got from the bloodbath and tosses it over Cassis.
"If you'd thrown yourself in front of his spear, he would have killed you, and then he would have killed her anyway. And you know that."
"Is that supposed to make me feel better, Ashton?"
"Of course not," he admits, his voice soft and sad as he sits there and watches Cassis sleep with a sad look on his face. "We both know there's nothing I can say that's gonna make you feel better. You're gonna have to work through the guilt. And that takes time."
"Aww, yes. Time. The one thing we don't have," I growl, my voice angry and dripping with sarcasm as I bite down hard on my tongue to keep myself from screaming. "This is so unfair."
"It's the Hunger Games, Ash. They're not supposed to be fair.
"None of us would be here if they were," he mumbles, his words trailing off into the void as the two of us sit there in silence while Cassis snores away.
And that's how we spend the next few minutes. Sitting here in the dark, listening to the soft, pitter-patter of the rain and Cassis's snoring until Ashton finally breaks the silence.
"So, how do you want to split the watch tonight?" he asks, his voice soft and shaky as he stares at me with tired eyes.
"I don't," I mumble, my voice just as soft and shaky as his as I sit there and bite down on my tongue to keep myself from yawning. "I'll just take the whole thing."
"I can't let you do that, Ash."
"Why not?"
"Because you're just as tired as I am, and you know it."
"You're right. I do," I admit, my voice low and tinged with sadness as I stare down at Suvi's geode and try to remember how happy and alive I felt when she kissed me goodbye.
But I can't. All I can feel is sadness. And I'm drowning in it.
"Then why did you offer?"
"Because we both know I'm not going to be able to sleep. And since I can't sleep, I might as well take your watch for you."
"This is a bad idea, Ash."
"Maybe it is. But it's my choice."
"If you say so," he mumbles, his words running together as he fights to stay awake. "If you change your mind. ..."
"You'll be the first to know," I assure him, my words quiet but forceful as I motion for him to give me his knife before watching him curl up in a little ball next to Cassis.
"Good night, Ash," he mumbles.
"Good night, Ashton," I whisper, my voice quivering with every word as I sit there and stare at the back of his head until his breathing evens out, and I'm sure he's really asleep.
"And goodbye," I say, my voice barely above a whisper as I tear my eyes away from him and look back down at the beautiful little geode in my hand as I place the tip of the knife to my throat.
"I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to save you, Maira. Please, forgive me," I sob, my hand trembling in step with the beat of my heart as I carefully push the tip of the knife into the soft flesh of my throat.
It hurts more than anything I've felt in my entire life. But I don't scream. And I don't stop.
I just keep pushing until I can feel the blood on my hands, and the world starts to spin around me as I lose all the feeling in my arms and legs. And that's when I feel the phantom touch of Suvi's lips on mine. And I can't help but smile.
"I love you, Suvi."
Those are the last words I ever say. And the last thing I see on this side of death is the beautiful gift she gave me as it rolls out of my hand and onto the floor with a soft thud as the painless embrace of the void rushes up to greet me.
~BOOM~
Sentri Baroslav-16 (District 9 Male)
"I can't believe what I'm hearing," I whisper, my voice low and tinged with disgust as I sit here in stunned disbelief while Oz and Leandra discuss the unthinkable. "Seriously. Why are we even discussing this?"
"Because we don't have a choice," mumbles Oz, his eyes fixed on the tiny pile of supplies in the middle of the room.
"Bullshit," I growl. "We have plenty of other options. You just don't want to look at them."
"Such as?"
"We could wait until they fall asleep and then sneak out."
"That doesn't solve our problems, Sentri, and you know it."
"And killing them will?"
"Yes!" he shouts, the words slipping past his lips before Leandra can get her hand over his mouth.
"Will you two, please be quiet?!" she asks, her hand wrapped tightly around the hilt of her knife as she pops up just long enough to make sure no one heard Oz's little outburst before dropping back down to her knees.
"Sorry," we say in unison.
"I agree with Sentri," mumbles Dana, her eyes fixed on Leandra as she silently pleads with her not to do this. "I understand that Bennett and Asuka have some stuff we could use. But are we really going to kill them to get it?"
"If we have to," mumbles Oz, his voice low and tinged with annoyance as he turns to face her with a severe look.
"Look, I don't like this any more than you guys do. But we really don't have a choice. We're not going to survive for long without food, water, and weapons.
"We don't have those things, but they do. And that means they're standing between us and survival."
"That doesn't mean we have to kill them, Oz," I say, my voice soft and distant as I quickly switch places with Leandra so I can take my turn as the lookout. "Not when we have other options."
"For the last time, Sentri, we don't have other options."
"Yes, we do."
"Then what are they?! And for the love of God, don't say we can sneak away after they fall asleep. I'll punch you in the face if you do."
"I'd like to see you try."
"ENOUGH!" growls Leandra, her voice a commanding whisper as she puts her hands on both of our faces and pushes us back on our asses with an annoyed grunt. "You're acting like children."
"We are children!" I bark, my words dripping with contempt as I glare at her with a disgusted look on my face. "That's why this is so fucked up.
"A few days ago, we tried to recruit Benny and Asuka into our alliance. Now we're talking about killing them in their sleep because they have some stuff we need."
"Yes, we are," she says, her voice tinged with sadness and regret, her eyes drifting over to Dana for just a moment before darting back over to me.
"And you don't think that's wrong? Either of you?"
"Of course, we think it's wrong. But that doesn't matter right now."
"How can you say that?!"
"Because it doesn't," she snaps. "I wish it didn't, but it doesn't.
"She's right, Sentri," whispers Oz, his eyes bleeding sadness as he sits there and stares down at our useless little pile of supplies. "None of us likes this, but it needs to be done. We need supplies if we're gonna survive. And a duffle bag, an empty canteen, a small bottle of water purifying tablets, a bundle of rope, two sleeping bags, a first aid kit, and a throwing knife just isn't gonna cut it.
"They have what we need, and they're not just gonna give it to us. We have to take it from them. And to do that, we have to kill them.
"You know that."
"That doesn't mean I have to like it."
"And no one is asking you to. Hell, we're not even asking you to take part. All we're asking you to do is keep an eye on Dana while Leandra and I do what needs to be done.
"Can you do that for us?"
I can't answer that question. At least not verbally. That would require me to give my consent to the murders they're planning to commit, and I just can't do that. I won't.
But that doesn't stop me from nodding slowly before crawling over to the far side of our little hidey-hole with a disgusted look on my face.
"So, was that a yes? Or. ..?"
"What do you think?" I snap, my voice dripping with anger as I grab one of the sleeping bags off the pile of supplies and unroll it in my corner.
"I think we're in business," he says, his eyes drifting off of me and over to Leandra, his voice dropping half an octave as he leans forward expectantly. "When do you want to do this?"
"As soon as we're sure they're asleep."
"Sounds like a plan."
"A pretty shitty plan," I mumble, my eyes glued to the shadows dancing on the roof above me as I slide down into the welcoming embrace of my sleeping bag before quickly drifting off into a deep, nightmare-filled sleep.
Sarah Beth Fullberg-17 (District 10 Female)
"Helena, I found her! She's over here!"
Those are the first words I hear after hours of silence. The ones that shake me out of my catatonic state and snap me back to a reality that I desperately don't want to come back to.
But I don't have a choice, because I still have work to do. And I've wasted too much time sulking in the rain as it is.
"Hey, Alfonso. Hey, Helena," I mumble, my voice low and hoarse as I sit here in the middle of the alley with my knees pulled up into my chest and the rain beating down on my head as they jog up to me. "What took you guys so long?"
"Well, let's see. First, we had to fight the bloodbath. Then, we had to secure the square and all of the supplies. Then, we had to —"
"Shut up, Alfonso," growls Helena, her voice calm and even as she drops down into a crouch and sticks her flashlight in her mouth before checking me for injuries. "That was a rhetorical question, and you know it," she mumbles.
"I know no such thing," he laughs, a playful smile on his face as he kneels down behind me and helps her check me out. "And even if I did, you know I wouldn't admit it."
"That's because you're a child," she says, the joke slipping past her lips with such ease and confidence that I have to do a quick double-take to make sure she's the one who really said it.
"Yes, I am," he chuckles, his voice soft and playful as he stands up and gives the back of my head a quick once over before continuing. "But at least I have the good sense not to wander off without my allies.
"She's fine, by the way. I'm not sure whose blood this is, but it's not hers."
"Then whose is it?" she asks, a concerned look on her face as she lets her light slip out of her mouth and back into her hand before quickly turning it off and stuffing it in her pocket.
"How should I know? Ask her. She's the one covered in it."
"It's Shirley's," I whisper, my voice trembling with every word as I reach down and scoop up my ax before trying and failing to push myself back to my feet.
"What happened?" asks Helena, her voice soft and unsteady, her face an unreadable mask of indifference as she offers me her hand and helps me back to my feet.
"Who cares?" mumbles Alfonso, his voice tinged with surprise and admiration as he looks down at the bloodstain on the ground next to where I was sitting with an approving grin. "I'm more interested in hearing how it happened."
"I don't want to talk about it," I whisper, the horrific, stomach-churning image of Shirley's face being split in half by my ax flashing in my mind as I stand here and do my best not to break down again.
"Why not? It's a hell of an accomplishment, and you deserve to brag about it a little.
"Not to mention killing him earns you the President's favor. I'm not gonna lie; I'm a little jealous."
"How did you —"
"He made the same offer to us. I'm sure he promised you a different reward for doing it, but I'm sure the general offer was the," *SLAP* "What the hell was that for?" he growls, his eyes wide with shock and fear as Helena draws her hand back and slaps him across the face for a second time.
"We were told not to talk about that," she growls, her voice soft and low, a look of genuine anger burning in her hard, blue eyes. "And we were warned of the consequences if we did."
"Sorry!"
"You should be.
"Are you ok, SB?"
"I"m fine," I lie, my mind reeling from the ramifications of what Alfonso just said. "I'm just tired and cold."
"Here," she says, her voice soft and low as she pulls a small pack out of her bag before ripping it open and tossing me the reflective blanket inside. "It's not much, but it'll help until we get back to the inn and find something better.
"I'll walk back here with her. Alfonso, you take point."
A/N: And so ends our first day in the arena. I know it wasn't nearly as intense and action packed as some of you were probably hoping it would be, but I think it turned out pretty well. I'm also sorry that it took me so long to get this update out. A combination of the difficult subject matter and real life being real forced me to take a little longer on this than I normally would, so I hope the wait was worth it.
Thank you again for reading and reviewing, you're all truly amazing and I couldn't do this without your help and support. I'll look forward to seeing all of your happy faces at the next update :D
Death Order/Cause/Place
24: Hector Brennan - D5M - Speared through the back of the throat by Shimmer
23: Maira Renault - D12F - Speared through the back and then the eye by Shimmer
22: Sedge Hamilton - D9M - Throat slit by Bellatrix after taking a knife to the back
21: Cypher Diamantis-D3M - Died of blood loss after taking a knife to the lung from Bellatrix
20: Luciana Bay - D10F - Drowned by Shirley
19: Shirley Gutters - D5M - Head split open with an ax by Sarah Beth
18: Ashlynn 'Ash' Haskell - D12F - Suicide