"You're doing what, when?" Hermione's mind felt like it was being pulled taut and then let go to snap and hurt. An instant headache. Ginny was sitting in the kitchen at Grimmauld Place with a blank look on her face, unamused while Kreacher was simmering chowder on the stove top. The smell of it made Hermione's mouth water, which was entirely very confusing while her brain muddled through what Ginny had just stated.
"We want a class reunion." Ginny shrugged.
"At Hogwarts?" Hermione placed her hands on her warm mug to ground her. "Haven't we been seeing everyone at all the bloody balls?"
"Now that's a phrase." Ginny rocked back as she shook with silent laughter. Harry came in through the kitchen door and looked at them, affection warming his face, before he sidled beside Ginny and wrapped his arm around her shoulder.
"What's a phrase?" Harry pressed a kiss to her temple.
"Bloody balls." Ginny quirked her eyebrow and Harry winced.
"Back on topic, please." Hermione tried to snap her fingers but it gave a sad muffled sound. "We're having a reunion ball-"
"-party-" Ginny corrected.
"-Party, whatever, at Hogwarts." Ginny nodded, Hermione sighed. "Do I have to go?"
"Yes, because it's finally not some sort of ' let's get married tomorrow ' event. It's just for fun with no social expectations or dresses or money being slung around." Ginny explained.
Hermione didn't mind, not really. But whenever she thought of Draco Malfoy, her stomach erupted into uncomfortable butterflies, and she had no idea what to do with them.
"You could just ask him out." Harry said as he picked at toast, not even looking at her.
"What-" Hermione floundered, had Harry had been reading her mind? She didn't think she was that obvious.
"There's only one person who makes you look like that when you think about them." Ginny rolled her eyes at Hermione's surprised expression.
"I'm not asking him out." Hermione squirmed, uncomfortable.
"Why not?" Ginny was cuddling Harry and Hermione wanted to stomp on her foot.
"I don't know. He tried. I said no. I thought he had a fiance and declared pretty loudly that I don't want him." Hermione groaned to the ceiling.
"Which was a lie." Harry said under his breath, looking innocent when Hermione shot him a glare.
"Which he overheard. Then things were a bit awkward. Then he hel-" Hermione cut herself off, not ready to share that Draco saved Gabrielle, unsure what Draco's motivations were in keeping that between himself and Gabrielle to begin with. Ginny and Harry looked at her expectantly.
"Then he turned out to be nice, and we're finally getting along. And it still feels pretty awkward, and it's been months. There's no way, no way , he still loves me." Hermione completed her sentence with a helpless gesture to nothing in particular.
"Are you twelve?" Ginny giggled. Hermione kicked her shin and Ginny grinned wider.
"Yea Mione, just talk to him." Harry tilted his head as he rested his chin on his free hand.
"You guys turned out to be his biggest fans." Hermione groaned into her arm as she dropped her head and stared at the floor. Kreacher's pot startled her up when it landed with a thud on the wooden surface and slopped hot chowder everywhere.
Hermione arrived with Ginny and Harry at King's Cross, a familiar excitement filled Hermione. Of course they went to Hogwarts and Hogsmeade during the year, but it was all by apparition or portkey, and never by way of the Hogwarts Express. It ignited within them the innocence they had lost through their final years there.
Harry, Ginny, and Hermione found a compartment and were joined by Ron, Padma and Parvati Patil. When the trolley lady came around, she greeted them all with free snacks, which Harry insisted on paying for and everyone got a tight hug and kisses on their cheeks, blushing and warm from the familiarity of it all.
Hermione kept her eyes open for Draco, but she didn't see him in the corridors, even when she walked the length of the train to find Luna who was smiling dreamily at a Puffskein on her lap as the little thing wove in and out of her fingertips with tiny squeals of delight.
Hermione sat with her and played with them, and for once, the world didn't feel topsy turvy, the economy on the brink of collapse, everyone pairing off and getting married. It wasn't long before Harry and Ron were laughing at each other as they ran through the corridor to find them, their pockets apparently filled with Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes merchandise, and they were popping candies at random to see what they would do; Ron did without looking because he did know what they would do.
When the train pulled into the station at Hogsmeade, Hermione felt the urge to rush and pull on her school robes, but was yanked by a hand onto the platform. Hagrid stood looming over them with a bright lamp illuminating his big belly and he boomed down at them in bursts of laughter as they fell into him, roped in by his arms into a tight hug.
"'Arry! Mione! Ron!" he said, and judging from his sniffle, he was crying. "I missed y' three! Wha' kind o' mischief have yer been up to?"
Hermione found herself wiping at her eyes too as everyone emptied from the train, the chatter lively into the dusky sky.
"We've been visiting!" Harry teased. "You're just never here!"
"Well, y'know. I been visitin' Olympe's family in France." Hagrid said shyly, and Hermione knew he was blushing under his big bushy beard. "Well come on then!" He gestured with his saucer sized hand to walk with him and they followed him to the lake shore where they, and everyone else, climbed into the boats and made their way across the lake. The Giant Squid waved a tentacle and Hermione was overwhelmed by everything all at once.
There were so many boats with so many lanterns, it was a beautiful, clear skied night, and the smell of the water, and familiar scent of the grass and forest around them had waved her into a sense of happiness she hadn't experienced in such free falling since accepting that she was in love with Draco. Draco who she still hadn't set eyes on.
She wanted to speak with him.
Her stomach swooped at the thought but she blamed the dip of the boat as the wake of a small wave from the Giant Squid lapped against the side.
When they entered the Great Hall and their old teachers stood along the aisles to greet them, she almost burst out crying. Neville stood with them and she gripped him so tightly, she thought she might be hurting him; but she was incredibly proud of him.
There were no houses, so everyone chose a seat at their preferred table amongst friends, calling names across the hall and erupting in laughter and shouts of greetings. Everyone wore jeans and sundresses, or hoodies and jumpers, broad smiles pinkening their cheeks with all wide and toothy grins. It was intoxicating. Hermione was pulled into so many arms for hugs that she had no idea who she had or hadn't said hello to for the night.
And still. No Draco.
"Do you think the Room of Requirement still exists?" Harry asked, startling Hermione from her unconscious search of the room. The dining tables had disappeared and made way for a stage as musical instruments were being placed and various types of alcohol on platters began hovering through the crowd.
Hermione eyed what she thought was juice and lifted it off the hovering platter, saying thank you out loud to the probability of a house elf using magic somewhere before tilting the glass and sputtering as the sharp flavour of vodka hit her throat, mingled with peaches and what had to be white cranberry tartness.
"Fuck." She sputtered a little before feeling the beginnings of a cough and instead of allowing herself to dissolve into a coughing fit, she swallowed the rest of the drink in one gulp and the sensation of a scratchy throat along with it. She looked at Harry who was watching her, bemused before she smacked her lips, poured water from her wand into the glass and sipped it delicately.
"Do you want to go look for it?" Hermione asked Harry, only eager to leave the room to find Draco. She found Ginny and her heart skipped when she saw that Ginny was speaking to Zabini. If Zabini was here, then undoubtedly, so was Draco. There was Pansy, giggling with Millicent Bulstrode, and yet, no Draco.
Why couldn't she find him?
Just then, a loud eruption of cheers deafened them and Hermione covered her ears as best she could, eyes closed hoping to shut out the sound.
"WHAT'S HAPPENING?" she yelled, following Harry's gaze to the stage. Hands and drinks were in the air, spilling everywhere as The Weird Sisters came grinning onto the stage and taking their places.
"Holy shit!" Harry yelled, but he sounded muffled in the crowd. "They brought them back!"
"They played at the Yule Ball, didn't they?" Hermione said, knowing Harry couldn't hear her, her throat already raw from her two screamed words.
"I have to find Ginny!" Harry yelled as the music began and the cheers became impossibly louder as the crowd recognised the song. And Harry was gone.
Hermione covered her ears and retreated into the corridor just outside the Great Hall.
To the place she had been that day when she heard Draco call her 'barely tolerable". She blushed at the thought. He was trying so hard not to love her. Even then, when he was so insufferable, he was fighting his affection for her because he was sure she could never return it.
And there she was, in love with him.
She shrunk into the platform that held one of the armoured statues, the flame flickering slightly in its palms. She willed Draco into existence, willed him to appear from the nowhere he had been; hoped he had been watching her and would now follow her into the corridor.
Her heart gave a weird little flip, followed by a squeeze and then full lightness when she heard footsteps, and she stood, expecting to greet Draco.
Instead, music seeped from behind her through the open Great Hall door, muffled by magic; Astoria.
Hermione felt immeasurable irritation rise within her and she sat again, deciding to ignore the dark haired witch.
"I've been watching you." Astoria said and Hermione imagined her arms were folded across her chest or placed firmly on her hips. She didn't confirm it by looking up and instead stared intently at her palms, willing Astoria to disappear.
"I don't know what the fuck you mean, and would you kindly fuck off?" Hermione looked straight ahead and found a kind old lady looking offended at Hermione's foul mouth. Hermione lifted her eyebrow and the old lady gave a disapproving shake of her head.
Astoria scoffed. "You've been looking for him all night, even on the train. Well he doesn't want to see you."
Hermione's insides went cold. What if that were the main reason she couldn't find him? Had he been avoiding her?
"I do not care, Astoria." Hermione rolled her eyes, the lie stung her tongue. She cared quite a lot. Astoria laughed.
"He wasn't going to follow you out here, you know." Astoria huffed and Hermione wished she had gone away.
"Listen. I don't know what the fuck you bloody want, but would you kindly leave me the fuck alone?" Hermione was fuming. She could be kinder, but for fuck's sake, Astoria was difficult to warm to.
"You have to say the words." Astoria sounded prissy, and altogether like an eleven year old girl on a playground, squaring off against another girl to call dibs on the cutest boy in their year.
It was at those words that Hermione's eyes whipped around and met Astoria who stumbled back at the glare Hermione levelled her with.
"I'm sorry. Say what words?" Hermione got to her feet, her blood pounding in her ears and drowning out reason. She almost reached for her wand, the music was hardly discernible through the steady beat of her heart thundering through her sane thoughts.
Astoria hesitated before she stood firmly again and Hermione saw that she wore a floral blouse, dark based, and sheer on her arms with an opaque vest underneath, and flowing wide legged pants. Even at this casual party, Astoria dressed up.
"I need you to promise me that you will never get married to Draco." Astoria puffed her chest in a cartoonish way that made Hermione laugh, slightly deranged, to the audience of one stunned Astoria and silent statues, and one disapproving old lady.
How bloody absurd? Hermione hadn't even thought of marrying Draco, she had only dreamt of confessing that she loved him.
But the sheer gall, the audacity of Astoria to demand that she say those words, and the fact that she realised she didn't want to, because in fact, the idea of marrying Draco pleased her very much.
"I would never say those words!" Hermione retorted, her face in a wide smile that she was pleased to see unsettled Astoria.
"He is engaged to me!" Astoria half screeched.
"Well then, I can scarcely see why it would be necessary for me to make a promise you have no need of. If indeed you are engaged, you have nothing to worry about." Hermione felt her cheeks flame, not from blushing but sheer anger. Her wand remained in her pocket even though her palm itched to close around it.
"You insolent little bitch." Astoria spat. "It's simple. He doesn't love you."
"And again, if that is indeed the case, then you have nothing to worry about and I need not make that stupid promise." Hermione repeated more forcefully, any trace of her humour had dissipated. Astoria was ten feet from her, but magic cackled through the air and Hermione could swear she heard it zap at her like static.
"I love him." Astoria claimed, almost desperate. Hermione narrowed her eyes.
"Again, that has nothing to do with me." Hermione shook her head slightly. "Why have you come here to bother me when everyone is having a good time?"
Hermione realised the vodka cocktail had begun to blur her thoughts and the filter she would have otherwise held in place to keep her from saying exactly what she thought was thinning.
"I want you to refute it!" Astoria said shrilly. Hermione felt the tone of her voice stab at something in her brain, suspiciously like a headache.
"If you love him, and you are engaged, it's a wonder you keep having to hear me say it. " Hermione laughed in disbelief.
"Are you pretending that you don't know what he feels for you?" Astoria's voice cracked and Hermione hardened herself. It could be an act.
"I know." Hermione said in a low voice. It was her secret, something she held close to her now that she loved him back, and it was being tainted by this woman.
"Has he proposed?" Astoria asked. Hermione narrowed her eyes.
"I won't answer that, I am not beholden to you." Hermione wished she could disappear right this instant. "And is he not a free man to make his own choices? Even if that choice is me ?"
Hermione's blood thrummed through her, and she heard hardly anything beyond the sounds of her breath and heartbeat. Was she about to duel Astoria Greengrass for Draco Malfoy?
"He would never. Sully the Malfoy name with your blood?" Astoria spat the words out, waving her hand to dismiss it.
"Well, again, Astoria. If you believe him to be that way, would you ever so kindly? Fuck. Off." Hermione took a step toward her, wand not even in hand, but she felt the magic flowing through her and she knew, with her wand in her pocket, her sheer emotion would hurt this silly girl.
"You're such a stupid witch." Astoria rolled her eyes. Hermione had never been called stupid before. She almost blurted out laughing at the words. "Are you engaged to him, or not?"
"I am not." Hermione let her shoulder come up in a tiny shrug. And realising then that Astoria didn't mean to leave her be, Hermione turned on her heel and disappeared through the halls of Hogwarts in search of Barnabas the Barmy.