Blake and Ayame have intruded on Cynthia and Caelia's breakfast! What will come from this confrontation, will the girls be able to enjoy their meal in peace? Or will Blake's presence bring with it a whole new string of problems? Oh, great.

KedharS: No, not even for a moment. It wouldn't have the same effect.

JoshGamerV: Caelia is a little bit nuts so you're right to worry.

Aquahaze675: Well we thought that last time she saw them together and that went okay, right?

Pokemon Academy: Beginning of Beginnings

Chapter 468

"Oh! Caelia!" Blake smiled at the brunette.

"…Hey," Ayame murmured, nodding at her. Her face was strained tight and she tried to keep up her affable façade, but she couldn't hide her emotions entirely. Between the burns she saw on the girl in the bath months ago, and the nightmare she'd had while hospitalized that made her shiver when she looked at Caelia made her feel uneasy. She couldn't help her unease.

But another issue was that Caelia's empty face, blank as always, didn't reveal anything about how she was feeling. Because, on her surface, she always seemed to possess no outward display of emotions, Blake, Ayame and even, to an extent, Cynthia, didn't see any of the turmoil that she was going through inside.

And right now, Caelia's heart WAS in turmoil. Blake was here. With his girlfriend. She thought that she was over that pain weeks ago. But no, seeing the two of them together, it made Caelia, who always felt nothing, feel that horrid ache in her heart all over again.

It was agony, the fact that the only thing she could feel was a stinging pain in her chest, the scars of her heartbreak. When she looked at Blake, she felt pain. When she looked at Ayame, that pain only fueled her rage, making her want to hurt the girl. It wasn't fair. She could have had anyone, but she took the one person that Caelia needed. What was Caelia supposed to do?

Nothing. That was what she was supposed to do. What was there to fight for? It wasn't like she could make Blake look at someone like her. She couldn't fix herself. Her body was too damaged to love someone properly, or receive their love.

But that was only for the present. Caelia's own hedonism was to let entropy consume her, but right now, there was something that she was living for. Something she could hope for. It may have been a pipe dream, but her alternative was to continue her meaningless existence. For the sake of her pokemon, she could continue going on as long as she needed. She would push the pain down and treat the world around her with the same emptiness that she always did.

But if she was going to hope for herself, live for herself, then there was something she needed first. She needed the Phantom to keep his word.

She needed her new body. And no one here would be able to help her with that.

"Hey, if you guys want, think we could push another table together?" Blake suggested. "We could all eat together!"

Good old Blake, clueless as always. Cynthia wanted to scream at the dense idiot that she couldn't help but be in love with. She sighed. It wasn't entirely his fault. He had no idea how Caelia felt, not really, so he didn't know how painful his presence was for her. But seriously, read the damn room! Anyone would be able to tell that Ayame wasn't comfortable with being around Caelia (did she know about the girl's feelings, Cynthia wondered?) and while Caelia might be as numb to everything around her as always, Cynthia just knew this had to be killing her!

And if she could tell, then Blake certainly should be able to!

…Even if he DIDN'T know how she felt!

…Well, whatever. She had been making progress with Caelia, she thought, maybe really getting through to her, and now Blake had come and ruined everything! Caelia was clearly shutting down! So even if Blake didn't know it was his fault, it was obvious that he was the one who had caused the problem, and Cynthia needed someone to blame, so there.

"Actually-" Cynthia opened her mouth to turn Blake down, but before she could speak up, Caelia answered for her.

"No need. Done."

Cynthia's eyes slid to Caelia's tray, and saw that during the exchange, without Cynthia noticing, she had emptied her plate and eaten all he oatmeal in her bowl. Just now she was draining the last sips of the orange juice, setting the empty glass down on the tray. She stood up (this she could manage decently well, unlike sitting) and picked up her tray, glancing up at the others.

"Going," she coldly said, walking forward. Blake and Ayame separated to make room for the forceful girl to pass, a little startled. They glanced back at Cynthia, and saw that she was fuming. Cynthia hopped up from her seat as well, ignoring her food, and chased after Caelia.

"Hey, Caelia!" She said, stopping the girl before she could put her tray on the wash rack and leave. Caelia set her tray down on the shelf and turned to Cynthia, staring at her. Cynthia couldn't see any light in the eye of hers, it was as hollow and empty as a corpse. Cynthia felt sympathy for her, but refused to avert her eyes. She wanted to confront the poor girl.

Caelia didn't respond to her, so Cynthia had to keep addressing her.

"Caelia… I didn't expect Blake to be here," Cynthia explained. "I'm sorry, I know that must have been hard for you…"

"No," Caelia said, shaking her head sharply. "Don't mind."

The tone of her voice was as hollow as always, and her face was a slate devoid of emotion. But that wasn't what Cynthia noted. She knew that the girl's emotions were tightly locked away. What she wasn't hiding, though, was her body language. The way that Caelia's shoulders slumped down, like she was deflated and small, it signaled to Cynthia that she was feeling disheartened, even if that didn't show on her face or come through in her voice.

"You clearly do!" Cynthia insisted. She reached out and placed a hand on Caelia's shoulder, a reflexive compassionate gesture. It was only when Caelia turned her head to look down at Cynthia's hand that she realized her error. She quickly retracted her hand, apologizing sheepishly. "Look, that was just what I do, you know? Even though you can't… you know."

"I said," Caelia repeated, this time a little bit of emotion draining into her voice, "it's fine. Going."

She turned and headed for the exit, but Cynthia wasn't about to let her get away that easily, following after her.

"Come on, Caelia! You don't have to shut me out!"

"Don't have to listen either," Caelia muttered. But she did stop. She turned and glanced back at Cynthia, waiting for her to say something.

"…Come on, Caelia," Cynthia stammered, not really sure what to say to help the girl. "I'm just trying to be your friend."

"Meaningless," Caelia replied, shaking her head. "Don't care. Going."

"Wait!" Cynthia cried after her. This time, Caelia didn't wait. Cynthia moved to pursue, but caught herself. If she just kept chasing after her like this, all she would end up doing is driving the girl even further away. She didn't want to treat the girl like she needed to be babied, even if that might have been what she believed.

She just… she just wanted Caelia to actually care about herself.

"Caelia!" Cynthia called out. "I'm having my birthday party this Sunday! Yang's Kitchen in the mall, at 6! Can you come? Oh, please come, won't you? I'd just love if you can make it!"

Caelia didn't reply, she didn't even turn back, she just walked off without even acknowledging that she'd heard Cynthia's invitation.

Cynthia sighed, and slumped over, rubbing her forehead in frustration. She wanted to get through to the girl, but there really wasn't anything she could do. She turned and trudged back to her table, where Blake and Ayame were still standing awkwardly.

"You scared my date off," she sarcastically rebuked them, with a lot more venom in her voice than she had expected. The winces that her snappish tone elicited out of them made her wince in turn, and she quickly apologized, sighing. "Look, guys, sorry, just… I've been trying to look out for Caelia, but she's more elusive than a fleeing pokemon with run away."

"I understand," Blake said, nodding sympathetically. "I'm concerned for her too, Cynthia, she's someone that really needs a good friend."

A large vein on Cynthia's forehead throbbed at the sound of him "sympathizing" with her. She had to resist the urge to lunge at him.

"…Mind if I join you guys for breakfast?" She asked instead, sighing in defeat. She doubted Caelia would be coming to her birthday, but right now there wasn't a whole lot she could do. So she might as well try and take her mind off the situation, right?

Meanwhile, Caelia was walking through the snow on the way back to her dorm, not really giving much thought to that morning's activities. She was trying very hard to put what had just happened behind her, but her chest still held a dull ache in her breast that was threatening to overwhelm her. For once, she wished she wasn't feeling anything, like normal.

"Well now, hey there, fire girl."

Caelia knew that voice. She turned her head to see Sylvia Dricoll and her Shuppet headed her way. She was smiling like she always was, a smile that had been mocking Caelia since the first time the two had faced off against each other.

Caelia had nothing to say to the girl. She walked past her and continued her walk home, but realized that she wasn't getting any closer to the place she was heading. Something was stopping her, her legs should have been pushing her forwards, but she wasn't moving. She turned her head and saw that Sylvia was holding her by the collar of her sweater, smirking.

"You didn't even notice me grabbing you," Sylvia said, finally letting go of Caelia, Caelia stumbling forward. With her condition, keeping her balance was impossible. She sprawled into the snow, and her world became white.

That was what she could see, white. It was everything. She took deep, deep breaths. It was different than the dark. At least she could see something. So even though she was feeling panic sweep her, she wasn't going to let herself be swallowed by it. She wasn't going to lose herself again.

As Caelia tried to calm herself down, she realized that she could hear something. Sylvia was still talking to her. But it was muffled; there must have been something in her ears.

Caelia tried to pick herself up, but realized she couldn't. She couldn't see, after all, so she couldn't guide herself to stand up. And while she couldn't FEEL the snow, she knew about the properties it was supposed to have, and its softness was probably a contributing factor to the fact that she couldn't brace herself against the ground, or force herself up onto her feet. And if she could see, well, that would help.

But there was no point in complaining about her situation. She couldn't do anything, nothing except panic. Even if she screamed, though, she felt that it would be meaningless; her mouth was probably smothered with the snow, muffling the sounds, considering that when she inhaled she smelled something crisp and cold in her nostrils.

Then, the whiteness drew away from her eye and the world pulled away from her, snow falling across her vision. She was no longer lying in the snow, having been pulled out somehow. She turned and looked over her shoulder to see that Sylvia was once again holding her by the collar, smiling that mocking smile at her.

"What did we learn?" Sylvia purred, letting Caelia go without dropping her.

Caelia didn't really care. She looked down at herself, her clothes covered with snow, and began to brush the white powder off as best as she could while making sure to keep her balance this time, not wanting to go through that annoyance again.

Snow was cold, that was a fact, but Caelia didn't feel it clinging to her, even as she could see it beginning to soak through her clothes. She turned and looked back up at Sylvia, still confused.

"In case you're unaware of what just happened?" Sylvia said, talking to Caelia like one would a small baby pokemon they were particularly fond of. "You just got dumped in the snow and were unable to pull yourself out."

Caelia nodded. That was obvious.

"And what's most troubling, is that you didn't even try," Sylvia said. Now that was odd. Caelia couldn't know either way just how badly she had been trying to get out of the snowdrift she had fallen into, but according to Sylvia, she hadn't tried at all.

"Really?"

Sylvia shrugged, picking up on the tension in Caelia's voice.

"Look, I mean, yeah, you did kick a little when you first fell in, but you were lying still for a good thirty seconds after that, just waiting." Sylvia scowled. "I thought we went over this before, Caelia? Didn't you agree to try living, for a change?"

"Am living. Couldn't get up," Caelia replied. She had not been motionless because she had wanted to, right? Her body simply must have given up moving after sensing the futility of trying to struggle in the snow. She already knew that, as empty as she might have been, there was no point in her dying, not when she still had pokemon to take care of.

So she said as much.

"Not. Dying. Live."

"For your pokemon, I know," Sylvia nodded, smirking. "…And… for the sake of your new body, isn't that right?"

Caelia didn't feel the flinch her body went through, but it still went through it. She blinked, staring warily at Sylvia. She understood what the girl was talking about.

Before the last semester had ended, Caelia had been approached by Sylvia, and had made a deal with her. She would use a certain pokemon, a Chandelure, in her battle against Blake and Elaina Bishop, and if she did her job properly…

If she did her job properly then the Phantom would fix her. Give her a body that could feel. REALLY feel. Not just pangs of heartache mixed with flares of pounding yearning whenever she was around Blake, but really feeling something.

…

Caelia wasn't a fool.

She knew that this was all just a pipe dream. When she was a child, going through recovery, lying in the burn ward and feeling nothing at all, she had hoped that the doctors would be able to find some way to cure her, to fix her, to heal her burns and make her normal again.

Those had been the naïve wishes of a child that hoped for more than she ever could have obtained, a child who did not know how reality worked because she didn't understand the world she lived in. Still thinking that booboos went away if mommy kissed them.

She was no longer so naïve as to hope that this body of hers could be fixed.

And yet… even though everything told her not to believe in some empty, meaningless hope, told her that her body couldn't be fixed…

She still wanted to believe in the possibility that she could live a normal life, or even a slightly more normal one.

So Caelia said nothing, staring vacantly at Sylvia as she studied her.

"You really are good at that, you know," Sylvia mused, stroking her chin and leaning in close, her eyes narrowing. "That whole 'empty, emotionless machine' atmosphere you've got going, for anyone else they might be convinced that you really don't care."

Sylvia smirked.

"But I know better, Caelia. See, I have a friend? And she really is a machine. And her eyes aren't the same as that eye of yours…"

Sylvia licked her lips. She stuck her finger in her mouth and swirled it around, moving it up to point right at Caelia's face. She tucked it into her thumb.

"So you really don't feel anything, right?" Sylvia clarified. Caelia didn't answer her, but that just made Sylvia's grin widen.

"Sooo… can I flick your eyeball?" Sylvia asked.

Caelia blinked.

"What?" Sylvia wanted to… what? Caelia didn't understand what the girl was asking for.

"Can I flick your eye?" Sylvia asked. "See, we have these things called reflexes, right? They're when our nervous system is triggered by a sensation and has an automatic response before the brain can even come up with a rational thought."

Caelia blinked again, not sure where she was going with this.

"There, you see? You did it again. You blinked. That's an automatic response," Sylvia explained. "Now, if your nerves really were completely gone, why would you be blinking? Blinking is a natural response to irrigate the eye, moisturizing it and clearing it of irritants. But you shouldn't be blinking when your body is completely numb, right?"

Caelia didn't know how to respond to that.

"You're quite a unique case, did you know that?" Sylvia asked. "I don't know how your body works! I can't find another case study like yours! And that's why I want to experiment. If you really can't feel anything, then I should be able to flick your eyeball without you reflexively pulling away, right? After all, you won't feel pain."

Sylvia's eyes glimmered eagerly, her smirk widening.

"But if you do pull away… maybe this whole thing it in your head."

"Huh?" Caelia asked, her eye widening imperceptibly. What did she mean by that? This whole thing was… in her head?

"You said before, that you feel pain in your heart? When you think about Blake now, knowing how happy he is with Ayame Toujou?" Sylvia reminded her. "And you said before, that you felt happiness in your heart, when you thought about him before that?"

Caelia nodded.

"So, maybe you just think your body is numb, that you're empty inside," Sylvia contemplated. "But it's all in your head, trauma, left over from your accident. Maybe all it'll take is a shock to fix your body, what do you think?"

Caelia didn't know what to think.

"So with that in mind… can I flick your eye?" She asked again.

Caelia studied the gleam in Sylvia's eye. She was excited about this. Eager. She wanted to flick Caelia's eye because she wanted to see what happened.

Caelia nodded.

Sylvia lined her finger up with Caelia's eye, and flicked lightly. Caelia pulled back instinctually, the finger not hitting her.

Sylvia considered what that meant. She hadn't pulled back due to the impact, because Sylvia's finger never struck. So maybe it was because she saw it coming and knew to dodge subconsciously? Or maybe Sylvia's theory really was true, and it was all in Caelia's head.

Caelia herself didn't know why her body had pulled back, but she did know one thing.

"Told you. Empty inside," Caelia muttered, staring at Sylvia. Sylvia shrugged and opened her mouth, about to say something in response, but Caelia wasn't done. "Empty. Just like you."

Sylvia's mouth shut and her eyes flared at the girl, smirking. Fire girl was a bit of a spitfire after all, pretty coy of her to play like that.

Sylvia and Caelia's confrontation. What will be in store for these two, I wonder? Is Sylvia right? Is this all in Caelia's head? Is she not feeling anything because she thinks she isn't feeling anything? Or is she really completely numb?