A/N: I do not own Deadpool or any of the other characters in this fanfic.

Chapter 3: Sword Hunt Part 1 – Compound Interest

NEW AVENGERS COMPOUND, EARTH-616 (SACRED TIMELINE) – FEBRUARY 10, 2025

"Why didn't we just teleport here?" Harley asked me as I pulled the Dead-Buggy up to the front gates of the New Avengers Compound. "I mean, we used a TemPad to get to Deadpool Tower from the Citadel, so why not just jump us right here?"

"Because suddenly appearing inside the Compound would give away who we are from the get-go," I said. "On the off chance the Avengers know who I am, I doubt they'd be too willing to work with me. I want to win them over before they know who's coming to them."

"And for that matter, what are we doing at the Avengers Compound? I mean, when you asked if I wanted to join you on a 'fun' adventure this morning, this wasn't exactly what I envisioned."

"You'll see. And if things play out a certain way, you might even get a first-hand look at one of the biggest events in the history of this timeline."

"Oh-kay, if you say so." Harley opened the passenger door of the Dead-Buggy and grabbed her mallet from the storage area in the back.

"Hey, hold on a sec," I said, getting out of the vehicle too. "We're outside the range of the security cameras right now, if my calculations are correct, but I want to take out the cameras first. Like I said, no sneak-peeks for the 'Vengers." I drew my gun and shot out the two security cameras above the gate. Then I followed Harley to the front gate and pressed the button next to the speaker. "Helloooo? Anyone hoooome?"

The speaker crackled a bit, and then I heard Falcon/Captain America ask, "Who is this?"

"Yo, it's Starfox," I lied. "I'm here to tell you why I didn't help you stop Thanos. So let me in or I'm gonna torture you by singing 'Watermelon Sugar' into the speaker."

"We don't know anyone named Starfox. I'm not letting you in, and I've gotta say it doesn't help your case that I can't see you on the security cameras."

"I like to keep a low profile."

Harley leaned into the speaker and said, "Hey. I'm…Captain Marvel. He requested that I bring him here. Sorry about the introduction; he has an…affinity for drama." She shrugged at me, and I gave her a double thumbs-up.

Then another voice cut through the speaker. "Uh, this is Captain Marvel, so who the hell are you?"

Harley gave me a look of, "What now?" and I mouthed, "Multiverse! Multiverse!"

She turned back to the speaker and said, "Oh…heyyy, nice to meet you. I'm actually a variant of you from another universe. Yeah, I was flying around, and I got sucked through this…portal-thingy, I guess, and then I appeared, bam, in this universe."

"Right, and that's when she met me," I jumped back in. "I was on the Domo with a bunch of the Eternals, and then I saw her outside and I was like, 'Holy #$&%, that's Captain Marvel! You know what, I bet the Avengers wanna know why I didn't help you stop Thanos, so BRB Thena, I'm gonna have Captain Marvel here take me to Earth so I can explain myself to the Avengers.'"

I heard Cap sigh and then ask, "Carol, who is this guy? As you heard, he introduced himself as 'Starfox' and I have no idea who that is?"

I mouthed, "Brother of Thanos but not evil!"

Harley said, "Oh, he's the brother of that big purple prick you all hate. Don't worry, he ain't evil, though."

I slapped my forehead. That was probably the least Captain-Marvel-esque way she could've worded that. Then again, maybe the Captain Marvels of other universes are nothing like the Earth-199999 version. Besides, if the Avengers were gonna be a suspicious crowd today, I'd think they'd have been scrutinizing "Captain Marvel's" sort-of New York accent by now.

"Hold on, I'm coming out there to make sure you are who you say you are," Cap said. The speaker fizzed out.

"Well, this is great," Harley said. "For that matter, Wade, what exactly was your plan if they had bought our story? We'd have to go in there sooner or later, and then they'd know we aren't who we claimed we were."

"I was just concerned with getting my foot in the door. Once we got in there, I'd just simply ask them what became of Thanos' giant blade after the Avengers Compound Battle. But if someone sees me coming in advance, they try to get out of encountering me even if I want something perfectly reasonable for them. Like money. Or a limb."

"What do you want Thanos' blade for?"

"Well, I want a new pair of swords, since that filthy Dalek melted mine yesterday. And since I'm in the market for new swords, why not go all-out and make them of the hardest thing in the universe."

"Which is?"

"I'm thinking the blade's made of adamantium. I'd assumed it only existed in X-Men-related universes, but it was able to break Cap's vibranium shield, so…yeah. Adamantium."

"Okay, I'm still fairly new to this universe, but wasn't that weapon of his, like, huge? How the hell would you be able to wield it effectively?"

"Well, I'll…." Hmm. My plan had been to take the X-Wing I used in the multiversal battle with Shuma-Gorath (which I secretly kept stashed away under Deadpool Tower) to Nidavellir and melt down Thanos' blade, then reforge it into a pair of smaller swords. But after hearing myself actually say it was probably made of adamantium, I realized that wouldn't work. Once adamantium cools, it's damn near impossible to melt back into a liquid.

"Got it," I said. "The hilt might not be adamantium, so I'll shoot the hilt until it breaks. Then, with the two halves of the blade being separated, I'll use each of them to cut through the other and carve them into swords. Should work." I mean, vibranium can damage vibranium. As in Black Panther's claws scratching Cap's shield at the Leipzig-Halle airport fight.

Suddenly, Cap came flying down the Avengers' driveway, landing inside the gate. "Well, well, well," he said. "Deadpool. I should've known it was you, and…someone cosplaying as Harley Quinn?"

"Nope. The real deal," she said. "So am I fictional in this universe or somethin'?"

"Yeah. You're real in another universe?"

"Of course. Well, was, until Shuma-Gorath destroyed it. Now I'm real in this universe."

"So, Deadpool…this have anything to do with T'Challa reporting that you and some 'Guardians of the Multiverse' headed to Wakanda yesterday? Gotta say, lying about who you are from the get-go doesn't create much trust."

"It's not technical Guardians business, but I'm not a technicalities sorta guy. And I only lied because nobody wants me on their property after that stupid rumor started circulating last month that I left a flaming bag of dog crap on old Cap's porch."

"You mean to tell me you didn't do that?" Cap raised an eyebrow.

"No, of course not! Heck, I don't even know where the Joe Biden doppelgänger lives." I turned to Harley and winked – unlike Rocket, I did it with the correct eye!

"…Alright, fine, what do you want?" Cap asked.

"How about some tea and crumpets, whatever the #$&% crumpets are. And while we eat, we can discuss a certain matter I'm curious about."

"No, how about we cut the nonsense and talk right here, right now?"

"Fine. Nah, it's cool. You're wary, I get it. Last time the Compound got an unwanted visitor, she brought Earth-TRN734's Sanctuary II through the quantum tunnel and instigated Endgame's third plot point."

"What? Do? You? Want?"

"Fiiiine." Geesh, this guy was no fun. At least he wasn't all "Language! Language! Language!" like old Cap was but still. "We're here because we want to know what happened to Thanos' big blade. Did it disintegrate, do you still have it at the Compound, or did it end up on the black market like the Ronin sword?"

"Are you kidding me? You're wasting my time over this? You've got your own swords, last I checked."

"Yeah, and then last night they got melted by a Dalek, so fork over the adamantium."

"What, so now Daleks are real too? And even on the off chance that nonsense is true, we're pretty sure the sword disintegrated with everything else of the Black Order. Sorry to disappoint you."

#$&%. Well, then again, this was why I brought a sufficiently charged TemPad. I just kinda didn't want to bother with doing this.

"Okay, Harley," I said, "grab my hand and get ready to form an alternate timeline with me."

"Wait, what?" Cap asked. "No, Deadpool, whatever you're doing, stop right now!"

I grabbed the TemPad from my pocket and fiddled around with a few controls. "Let's see…October don't-wanna-reveal-the-specific-date, 2023. No spatial shift required…."

Harley grabbed my hand as Cap pressed a button on the inside the gate. It swung open as the TemPad's orange portal opened, and Harley and I jumped into it.

A/N: So as you probably guessed, Deadpool and Harley are heading to the Avengers Compound Battle to try and nab Thanos' blade in the past. But knowing Deadpool, things aren't going to go according to plan.