Misato and Will's date is certainly off to a rocky start! But what can you expect when your dating partner is a Mechadoll? What else will this date entail? Will Misato's request that they have intercourse (or some fashion of it) be granted? …Of course not, this story is rated T. Get your minds out of the gutter, pervs.
Aquahaze675: Misato is the only one gullible enough to believe her dating advice, though. So sometimes she has to take things another step further, like when she helped Akira and Dakota get together without them realizing it.
KedharS: For better or worse.
JoshGamerV: Will is pretty forgettable alright. But you're not wrong, the two of them are pretty funny together.
Just a Bad Writer for Fun: Aww, you think it wasn't intentional spite? That's so sweet of you! …I couldn't really say either way. But yeah, Misato is basically one ongoing source of embarrassment for Will, that's for sure.
Pokemon Academy: Beginning of Beginnings
Chapter 585
Will was a study in scarlet as he dragged Misato out of the café, hurriedly paying for his coffee and then getting out of there as fast as possible. He couldn't believe she had said such a thing!
…Wait, what was he talking about? Of course he could believe that. Misato WAS that. She had no decorum, no sense of dignity, she was the kind of person who WOULD say something like that, because to her, well… things of that sort were just… things, actions. She was a Mechadoll, so she lacked the understanding of emotion. She could intellectually understand that sex was an act of intimacy, but she lacked the fundamental ability to make an emotion connection to it.
So of course she would just proposition him like that. Hell, the first time they met she had offered such a thing as an incentive to throw his match against Sylvia.
And he wasn't going to just meekly go along with it. She wanted to learn more about humanity? Fine, then he would teach her.
Misato followed silently, allowing him to pull her along. He figured it was because she had arrived at the conclusion that he was taking her back to his room. He looked around and found a section of the quad that was empty, far enough away from anyone else that no one would overhear their conversation. He led her to a wood bench beneath a large sakura tree, though one with no petals due to the fact it was wintertime, sitting on the river bench overlooking the frozen stream traveling through campus. It was a nice, secluded place.
"Why are we stopping here?" Misato questioned him as he sat down, staring down at Will with an expression that could have been considered quizzical if it wasn't the same as any other expression she made. "This is not your bedroom. I was informed that sexual intercourse would occur in either your bedroom or a car. As you do not possess a car, that would make intercourse in a car an impossibility. Therefore the only conclusion is that we continue our date in your room. I was informed that intercourse in my room would also be a possibility, but that it would not be a dignified act to invite my date back to my room and thus I should not. Please inform me of your thoughts on this so that I may determine which course of action to proceed with using all data available to me."
"Misato, we aren't going to have sex," Will sighed.
"Affirmative. As you have already been informed, this body lacks the appropriate equipment to-"
"No, that's not what I meant," he cut her off. "What I meant is that we aren't going to be doing any of that stuff, at all. That's not what's going to happen."
"Elaborate. I was informed that sexual intercourse is the standard progression for a successful date. Is this date not successful? If so, please inform me what is not satisfactory about my performance so that I can adjust it to better suit your needs as a dating partner."
Will sighed.
"First off, Misato, having sex is not a 'standard' act on a first date. Your information is flawed," he told her.
"Understood. I will take this into consideration. Please tell me what is the appropriate number of dates that must occur before having sexual intercourse to serve as a counterexample to the information that I have been provided. I will then weigh all variables to determine which contains more evidentiary weight and then-"
"There isn't a set number!" Will exclaimed. Misato fell silent, almost looking stunned, and processed this information for a second.
"Elaborate," she requested.
Will sighed for what felt like the millionth time that day.
"Relationships… dating… you want to learn more about what it means to be human, right? You want lessons about humanity? That's the reason for this date, right?" Will asked.
"Affirmative," Misato confirmed.
"Well here's the first thing to know about dating, there's no guideline for it. There's no instruction manual or set of actions you perform to do it successfully, you just do it. There are some people who may have sex with someone on the first date, and some people who may take years to get that comfortable with someone. So add that information to your records, there's no way to do dating 'correctly' that's something that's decided by the two people involved." Will paused to let that sink in. The next part might be pretty hurtful, but then again, Misato didn't have feelings that he could hurt. "And that's why you won't be able to do it."
Misato paused again. It was unnerving. If what she said about her processing power was true (and all evidence pointed to the fact that it was) then she shouldn't be making long pauses. She should be able to state with immediate precision what her thoughts on his response were. So the fact that she was pausing to think was questionable to him.
"Elaborate," she finally stated. It had only been a pause lasting a few seconds, but for Misato those few seconds were like an eternity.
"Misato… all those decisions and dating… they're up to the individual. What you're personally comfortable with. But… you don't make decisions like that, right? You make decisions based on statistics and facts. You can go through the motions of dating, but… I don't think that you'll be able to really get the full effect. Do you understand what I mean? This seems futile. And if you're just using me as a reference, what I'm comfortable with… that won't help you get any better at understanding humans as a whole, it'll only be using me as a base. So to get the appropriate data, you would need to go on dates with a large number of people, right?"
"Affirmative. In order to obtain data necessary to arrive at an understanding of the process of dating to any degree of statistical significance it is essential to collect results from a large enough sample size to reduce any outliers in assessment," Misato replied.
"Yeah, so… get on with that," Will said. "Because I don't think there's anything left to learn from going out with me. I don't want… to do those sorts of things."
"Elaborate. All information on the subject states that people wish to date those who they are physically attracted to. Based on the evidence I have gathered from your actions today and taking prior interactions into consideration, it can be determined that you are physically attracted to my appearance. Is this conclusion erroneous? Please provide me with the missing information so that I can draw a correct conclusion," Misato requested.
"Okay, you aren't wrong, I am… physically attracted to you," Will admitted, averting his eyes from Misato, his face heating up. "But that doesn't mean that… that I want to date you, okay? Because, well… you aren't…" How could he describe it? "You aren't… a person. Dating someone is about sharing emotions, feelings, with another person, building intimacy on an emotional level, right? And I mean, yeah, I'm a hormonal teenager, but… that doesn't mean I want to be with you just because I think you're hot. I can be your friend, and I can help you study humanity as long as you want, but… I don't want to date someone so that they can use me as a sample for an analysis. That would never sit right with me, okay?"
As he was saying that, he remembered something Sylvia had told him when he first got back for the new term, when Misato was pretending to be a genki girl. Something that he had dismissed because it was asinine, and yet for some reason kept sticking in his head.
"She doesn't know she likes you. There's a difference."
No, no, all that talk about Misato having a crush on him was crazy. No matter how advanced her programming might be, all she was was a very complex computer arriving at conclusions based on inputs. Human emotion, actual feelings of love, that was something entirely different, something that couldn't be programmed.
Something Misato couldn't be capable of.
"Understood," Misato said. If she were capable of feeling disappointment, then he would have thought that she was disappointed or upset by what he had said. But he couldn't see any trace of that on her face. Of course he couldn't, because those were emotions. Not something that a Mechadoll was capable of.
"I'm sorry I said that, but it's true," Will said. He didn't really understand why. Maybe it was because even though he knew that Misato was a Mechadoll and her feelings couldn't be hurt, he was still feeling guilty and was trying to make himself feel better, even if what he said would have no impact on the feelings that Misato didn't have.
"You are sorry?" Misato asked, startling Will. Her voice was a little louder, a little more forceful than normal. He must have misheard. "Elaborate."
"Well, I mean…"
"In our prior conversation when I apologized t you, you explained to me that…" Misato's voice whirred a bit, and became an exact copy of Will's as she repeated what he had stated from her audio records. "If you're just apologizing to get forgiveness and not because you feel bad, then it doesn't count."
Will remembered their conversation about apologizing. But… he wasn't apologizing just to get forgiveness.
"I do feel bad," Will said.
"Elaborate. Why do you feel bad?" Misato asked.
Why did he feel bad? Because… because…
"I don't know," Will said, shaking his head. "I just don't know."
"I do not understand," Misato replied. "But I require elaboration. In our prior conversation, you informed me that the sensation of feeling 'bad' was akin to what I would feel if I was unable to spend time with you anymore, is that correct?"
"Yes, that's how I would describe it, yeah," Will said, nodding.
"Would that be an appropriate description to describe your feelings as they exist at this present state?" Misato asked.
"Yes," Will said. "But I remember myself, you saying that you were unable to describe the way that you were feeling that you associated with 'bad', isn't that right?"
"Affirmative. I am not able to associate this data within my programmed mental patterns. I cannot put the information that I am processing into a describable context," Misato confirmed. "But I am still able to determine that the information I am currently processing is of a much more serious degree than the information I processed at that point."
Will looked up at her, surprised.
"If the sensation that I was 'feeling' at that time is 'bad' as you explained it, then the only logical conclusion is that I am currently feeling an even greater degree of 'bad'," Misato replied. "I am 'feeling bad' but I am not able to arrive at a conclusion as to why. You apologized because you thought that not being able to date me made me 'feel bad'. Is that correct? Am I 'feeling bad' because you do not want to go on a date with me?"
Will opened his mouth, but words did not come out. Misato had just said that she was feeling bad because he couldn't go out with her. But… Misato wasn't able to feel bad, right? She was a Mechadoll after all!
"And that means she can't have feelings?" Sylvia again, digging around in his head, making him doubt things.
Misato was staring at him. There was no emotion to be seen on her face, and yet he could feel… expectation wafting off of her, like she was desperate for him to answer. Or maybe that was just him making assumptions. He couldn't be sure.
"I think… that might be possible…" He said. He honestly couldn't be sure.
"Fascinating. It should not be possible for me to experience emotions. However, you would describe what is presently occurring in my processing system as experiencing the emotion of 'feeling bad', is that correct?" Misato asked.
"We call it 'sad'," Will replied.
"Affirmative. I am in the process of being 'sad', would that be an acceptable way to describe my present state in human terminology?" Misato clarified.
"Yes, no, I don't know!" Will said. "You… your brain, it's… it's way, WAY beyond the level of what I could ever HOPE to understand, do you get that?"
"Affirmative. My capabilities are-"
"No, no, nevermind, ignore that," Will said, waving his hand and shaking his head in frustration. He didn't have the time or energy to hear Misato go on some great spiel about her processing power and how she was the pinnacle of robotics or something like that.
"Affirmative."
So Misato was feeling sad. The Mechadoll, Misato, was experiencing a human emotion, or at least some approximation of one.
Will didn't know how to feel about that, he wasn't even sure if he could fully understand it. The only thing he understood was that Misato was a lot more complex than he ever could have imagined. It was one thing to be a robot that could grow and learn. But the fact that a Mechadoll could actually be experiencing emotions, even if she wasn't capable of understanding them, or even how she could feel them in the first place…
It was starting to make Will's head hurt.
Misato was the first one to break the stalemate, much to Will's surprise.
"In the books I have read, rejection is described as something that makes a human feel sad," Misato said. "And when it occurs, it is almost always followed by crying. These two things are linked. Crying is associated with sadness in humans, moreso than any other emotion."
"My experience follows that, too," Will dryly replied.
As if on cue, tears began to stream from Misato's eyes.
"Is this the appropriate response?" She asked, reaching up and placing her fingers against her cheeks to wipe the tears away, another act. "Would it be appropriate for a human to cry when they are feeling sad?"
"Humans cry when they're sad, yeah," Will said, though he had never seen Misato cry before. Upon closer look, though, it was less… crying and more just tears streaming down her face. None of the choking sobs or hiccups or sniffles or any of the countless things that were normally associated with crying. "But usually we do it because it's an emotional release that makes us feel better, and I don't think it works the same with… Mechadolls."
"Thank you for clarification. Humans cry when they feel sad in order to make them feel happy," Misato said. "However, I have not detected any change in my present condition."
Will nodded. "Taking as fact that you can, in fact, feel emotions, I would guess that you don't feel them the way that we do. Human emotions are tied to hormones and you don't really have those. So it might be that… well, your… 'whatever it is' that is making you feel ways that you can't describe… I think it still has to reroute through your intellectual processors. Human brains process all that stuff subconsciously and release chemicals. But maybe you… I don't know, you understand something and your brain provides the appropriate mimicked response based on what the proper response would be? Sort of like how even though you feel sad, your face doesn't instinctively change to look sad, you have to consciously shift it."
It was just a theory, but it made sense to him anyway.
"That theory is a critical one," Misato said. "I cannot provide a response with any degree of statistical significance because I am not able to determine what these unknown responses to my information processes are signifying."
"…So what do we do?" Will asked. "Why isn't crying making you feel better?"
Misato contemplated for a fraction of a second. In that time, she could not understand why her processor was telling her what it was telling her, but all her data was pointing towards one logical outcome to adjust this experience that she could identify as "sad".
"Kiss me," Misato replied.
Will once again made a double-take. It had been that kind of day.
"You want me to kiss you?" It was less of a question and more of a clarifying statement.
"Negative. I do not 'want' you to kiss me. However, the information that I have read states that the feeling of kissing someone that rejected you will make the person who was rejected feel 'happy'," Misato explained. "So it is possible that by kissing you I will be able to correct this feeling of 'sad' that is currently affecting my systems."
Well, what Misato stated made sense for a human, but Misato wasn't human, she was a Mechadoll. So Will wasn't sure what to say. But then again, apparently she could feel sad, so that made things even more complicated…
…And Misato was climbing on top of him.
"Hey, what?!" Will protested as Misato straddled him, staring into his eyes. He couldn't see a trace of emotion in her dull, lifeless eyes, nor any on her face. Whatever these emotions she might have been feeling were, they weren't making the journey from her processors to her face.
"We agreed to do this again," Misato reminded him. "It is necessary. To further understand human beings and to get a better assessment of these anomalies in my functions it is imperative that I kiss you again in order to see if I can obtain any new data from the action, anomalous or otherwise, that would be signifying of a change in performance or other error." She paused. "I was informed that I must ask your consent before kissing you. Is it acceptable for me to kiss you?"
Will honestly didn't know. He was so confused by what was happening that he couldn't say for sure whether or not kissing Misato was a good thing for her.
But… did he really need a reason to kiss a hot girl?
Will always thought of himself as an intelligent guy, but in the end, instinct won out. He and Misato kissed. Misato used tongue again, which made him feel a little hot under the collar. As he was kissing her he almost forgot that she wasn't actually a human. But when she pulled away from him, and he was the only one panting while her face looked as pristine as ever.
"Fascinating. The information anomaly identified as 'sad' is lessened as a result from the kiss," Misato observed. "Further study is required."
Before Will could even respond she was on him again, grasping him tightly and pushing her tongue down his throat with a furor that he hadn't expected possible from a Mechadoll.
Well now, these two seem to be getting hot and heavy on their date, now aren't they? It seems that Misato's anomalies are finally starting to form a bigger picture for her. I wonder what the end result of this will be?