Let's leave behind the kissing kinda-sorta-complicated couple and turn our attention to a pair whose relationship is even more complex… and a lot more problematic.

KedharS: I figured you wouldn't.

Aquahaze675: Misato and Will's relationship hasn't been cute and wholesome before, not sure why you would think it would start now. It's a whole lot more complex than that. We'll see where they eventually end up.

Rowlets and Oshawotts: Olivia is awesome. But she's more than just the cool big sis we see her as most of the time, she has other ambitions and other thoughts in her mind that just haven't been focused on yet. Her obsession with Alcea is… unhealthy, to say the least.

Thunder Fire: It's hard to juggle so many characters, I'll get around to him. Unlike the seniors, I have four years in-universe to develop him, be patient.

Pokemon Academy: Beginning of Beginnings

Chapter 586

Elaina's morning had gotten off to a rough start.

In fairness, most of her days were rough, but recently things had gotten even worse.

Elaina's relationship with Gerard was complicated. She knew that much. She cared for him, and she owed him a great deal. But it would be wrong to call their relationship that of friends. They weren't friends. He was using her, and she was happy to be used, to repay the debt that she owed him for taking care of her for all those years, for helping her as best as he could, even if it was for the sake of his own interests.

He wasn't a friend. But he was all she had besides her pokemon.

Right now, she was going through a difficult time. When she had spoken with Sylvia a few nights prior, the girl had mentioned something about Blake that Elaina couldn't bring herself to believe. The fact that Blake didn't care for her any more than Gerard did. That he had a sister who had harmonia, and he wanted to help.

That the only reason he was kind to her was because she was someone who reminded him of his sister, and he wanted to help her only to see if it was possible for him to somehow find a way to help his sister with her condition.

Blake didn't care about her, he never did. He only pretended to care so that he could get close to her, for the sake of his sister.

Elaina didn't know if that was true. She desperately hoped that it wasn't true. But she couldn't find any hard evidence to convince herself that it wasn't true. Everything that Blake had done, in hindsight, it made perfect sense that it was for his sister.

Not for her.

She bit her lip, staring at the porcelain mask sitting on her desk. She nearly curled up and contemplated crying.

She thought that Blake cared for her. She remembered the passion, the warmth in his voice. That… that couldn't be a lie. She wanted so desperately to believe that it wasn't a lie. But even as she tried to convince herself that it wasn't, she couldn't help but gouge her fingers into the sheets of her bed, feeling the doubt stab her in the heart.

Were those feelings really for her? Or were they for his sister? How would she know?

She could ask him, of course. But no… he'd never mentioned his sister to her before. In hindsight, there were things he'd said about harmonia and losing control, and his general familiarity with the topic that signaled his experience with something similar, or someone similar. Elaina hadn't picked up on it at the time, but it was all so obvious now.

But he'd never told her about this sister of his, this Guinevere. For whatever reason, he'd chosen not to. And the only thing Elaina could think of was that he didn't want her to know about his sister because then she'd realize for herself what Sylvia had told her: that Blake was only trying to help her to find a way to help his sister.

No matter how hard she tried to come up with another explanation, she couldn't. Certainly, it was a sensitive topic to Blake, and one he probably didn't want to bring up to people. But… he hadn't trusted her enough to tell her? She, the person who most needed to know that there were other people like her, people who were suffering with this ability that Blake was trying to help? Why would he keep this from her, other than to hide his own guilt?

Her feelings towards Blake had been complicated. Before, he had made her feel warm and fuzzy, thinking that in spite of what she'd done, in spite of who she was, there was someone who cared for her, who supported her. He had made her feel confident about herself, made her feel welcomed by him, which had helped her become capable of using her powers without losing control to a limited degree, and because of that, she had almost fooled herself into believing that he had loved her. But he didn't. He'd chosen Ayame Toujou over her. That should have been the first sign that she was getting her hopes up. He loved Ayame, but Elaina… Elaina was just a pet project of his, someone he could help in order to give him some hope that his sister was safe.

She had endured the pain of her heart when she learned that he didn't feel that way about her, that he loved Ayame and not her. She had convinced herself that even if he didn't love her like that, he still cared about her, she was still important to him. And that's how she kept going.

But now, knowing what she knew, she couldn't even convince herself of that.

Elaina closed her eyes and resisted crying. She remembered that night. The night of the party… the night when Blake fought her. And even though she hadn't wanted to hurt him, she had. And even though she'd hurt him…

"I told you, I'm not giving up." That had been what he'd said to her that night. The words that had kept her going, seeing how much she'd done to him, to his pokemon, and how, no matter what she did, he wouldn't give up on her.

"No matter how much I wish he would, for his own sake… he won't give up on you. Why can't you just see that?!" Those words had belonged to Ayame Toujou. Screaming at her to just let Blake in, when she had tried to drive him away.

She didn't believe those words were lies, not from either of them. She believed that both Blake and Ayame had tried hard to get through to her, to save her, after everything he'd done for her, there was no way she could doubt that.

Which made the reason why sting all the more. It would have been one thing if Blake had just been lying to her. But it was worse than that. He wanted to save her, and maybe, to a degree, he did care about her.

But in the same way that Gerard cared about her. As a tool to accomplish his actual goal, of saving his sister.

And that revelation broke her heart. She wanted to hate him. She wanted so desperately to hate him. There were a great many people in this world that she hated. And even more people that she cared nothing for. And yet every time she tried to hate Blake, or even just try to think nothing of him, she would picture that smiling face of his in her mind, see the sincerity in his eyes, hear the desperation in his voice, and she just couldn't bring herself to do it.

She wanted to share this pain with someone. Before Blake, she'd had Gerard to release all her suffering onto. She would unload it on him and he would take it without blinking, and she loved him for that. He made her feel supported, heard, even if it was as his weapon. She would rather be a tool with someone she could speak to, someone who could take some of this pain away, than be a free human who had no one.

But Gerard wasn't hear. After his loss the night before, he hadn't returned to his room. She'd called him, so many times, but he hadn't picked up. She could understand his pain, why he wouldn't want to see her, but it didn't make her feel better. She didn't want him to be hurting and abandoning her. She wanted him to be here, so she could tell him…

She was alone. So alone.

"You aren't alone," a voice whispered into her ear, ghostly fingers tracing themselves over her shoulders in a massage so light that it was barely noticeable. "You're never alone, not as long as we're together, don't forget…"

Elaina had often cursed the specter that haunted her. This phantom, born of her harmonia, a constant reminder of what she was. Even now, as it spun its words into her mind, dancing around her as a formless shadow wrapped around her mask, she despised it.

But it was better than nothing.

"Why?" She demanded, raising her head from where she'd buried it into her knees, glaring through her tears at the smooth white face staring back at her. "Why do I have to put up with this?! Why is it me?! Why is it always me?!"

"We are the same, remember," Harmonia murmured to her, reaching a spectral hand out to stroke her cheek. "I am your power. Tell me what you want from me, Elaina."

"I want you to go away!" She screamed. "Go away, and never come back! Make me normal again! Make it so that I can go outside, without having to worry about destroying everything around me! I just want to be able to see things without a mask! And if you can't do that, then I have no use for you! Stop talking to me!"

But Harmonia didn't leave her side. Because she was a manifestation of Elaina's power, and more importantly, a mirror of her heart. No matter how much Elaina cursed her, pleaded with her to leave, she also knew that the reason she wasn't was because Elaina herself didn't want her to leave.

Oh, she certainly wanted the power to go away. If the option was put in front of her at this very moment to remove her harmonia entirely and become a normal person again, then she would take it in a heartbeat.

But right now, Harmonia was the closest thing she had to a friend. And as sick as it was to think that way, she was better than nothing.

"I can be anything, Elaina," Harmonia promised her, whispering sweet words in Elain's ear with her own voice. "That hole you feel in your chest… that emptiness… the pain that boy caused you when he gouged your heart out and left you alone… I can fill that for you. Just embrace me. Let me in, and I will be whatever you want. I can be power. Real power. The kind of power you need."

"I don't need power…" Elaina cursed.

"Are you certain?" Harmonia asked. The fact that she could even ask that question told Elaina that no, she wasn't. "Let's go see."

The feeling of giving into harmonia was intoxicating, like a drug. Elaina had felt that rush more times than she could count. In the past, it had been Blake who had freed her from it. But right now, she doubted that even if Blake hugged her tightly and begged her to stop that she would be able to control this power of hers.

She felt too far lost.

But there was another reason why she could give into that power, why she might need to.

Gerard.

Gerard had done so much for her. She had a debt to him that she needed to repay. She would give him her strength, and he would take care of her, prevent her from going too far, and hopefully find some way to cure her.

Her loyalty to Gerard was all she had left, now that she knew what Blake was really after. And when he had needed her strength the most, where had she been? Locked away in her room because she was too afraid of feeling a little squeamish from seeing some pokemon.

He had needed her, and she hadn't been there for him. And now he had lost. That was twice now that she had failed him. He had needed her to fight against Kanone Harker. She had overused her harmonia and lost consciousness, and he had been forced to fight, and lose, in her stead. He had forgiven her, but she hadn't forgiven herself.

And now he'd lost again.

That was why Elaina needed to go now, as much as she didn't want to. She had been waiting for him to come back. She had been calling him, hoping that he would pick up. But it was clear that Gerard wasn't answering.

So as much as she hated leaving, she would go. In order to find him, and see what she could do to help him.

Elaina changed her clothes into something better suited for the weather, and slid her long black coat over it, flipping her hood over her head to make the mask she slid over her face slightly less conspicuous. She might have been wearing a disguise, but she wasn't interested in getting accosted for being Elaina Bishop today.

Slipping out of the Pikachu Dorm, Elaina headed towards the Senior and Junior dorms, to Gerard's private dormitory. She was thankfully able to keep a low profile, and make her way of the stairs with no one seeing her. Gerard had given her special access to the building in order to facilitate interactions like this, which made getting inside no trouble either. Soon enough, she was standing outside the door to his private room, one of the few advantages to being a member of the Eight Leaders.

She took a deep breath, pulling her hood a little further over her face as some seniors passed by. She raised her hand, and knocked on the door. No answer. That wasn't a good sign. She tried the handle next, but of course it was locked. Sighing, she reached into her coat pocket and took out her keys. She had a spare key to his room, same as he had for her. Slipping it into the lock, she turned it and walked into the room.

As Elaina entered, she was hit with a wave of revulsion. The room reeked of booze. She was just lucky she was wearing her mask. She flipped her hood down as she shut the door behind her, looking at the mess in front of her.

It shouldn't be possible for a room to fall to ruin like this over the span of one night, a few hours at most, but Elaina was the kind of girl who trusted her eyes. Books and clothes were strewn about, as well as more than a few empty bottles that had leaked out into stains on the carpet. It was just as she feared, he really had taken things hard.

"Gerard?" She called out as she walked further into the room, stripping off her coat and throwing it onto a chair, one of the few clean spaces of the room. "Gerard, are you here?"

Like the private dorms of Pikachu Academy, the juniors and seniors rooms were like miniature apartments, equipped with their own bathrooms and even a small kitchen space. Gerard had two bedrooms, even, even though he lived there alone.

She didn't get an answer. Whether or not he didn't hear her, was ignoring her, or just plain passed out on the floor she wouldn't know until she found him.

"Elly?" Gerard's voice grunted out from the bed. "Elly… is that you?"

Elaina flinched, her voice catching in her throat as she heard that. She turned in his direction, only to see that the mess of a bed, the tangled sheets and the strewn pillows, was empty, save for a large dark stain in the center that she didn't even want to guess the source of, but stank heavily of something that made her want to vomit.

No, Gerard's voice had been coming from behind the bed, and he pulled himself up off the floor in what looked like the remnants of a drunken stupor, his clothes half-off and his hair a mess, his glasses nowhere to be seen.

Gerard squinted and rubbed his eyes, before bringing his glasses up and slipping them on. They were crooked and bent, but still intact. He stopped squinting and it looked like his vision had cleared up, his face souring.

"…Oh, it's just you, Elaina," he muttered, shaking his head and slumping over, using the bed to balance himself and keep from collapsing all the way back down to the floor.

He was in worse shape than Elaina had thought.

"Gerard, are you okay?" Elaina asked, crossing the maze of bottles and rubbish to get to him.

Gerard laughed bitterly, not even looking at her. "Imagine. You of all people being the one concerned over me. As if you didn't have enough problems to worry about…"

"Gerard…"

"Why the hell are you here?" He growled, turning towards her. The look in his eyes was one that was familiar to her. They were filled with pain and self-loathing and an overwhelming sense of worthlessness and failure. They were the eyes she often saw when she looked into the mirror without wearing her mask.

"I came because I was worried about you," she replied. She had certainly been that, among other things. She'd seen him break down before, but not like this. Was this what it was like, in that time that she was asleep, when he had lost to Kanone Harker and was alone with nothing but the pain of his loss? No, however bad he might have been, somehow she knew that this was worse. There was an emptiness in his look.

Gerard snorted, shaking his head. He raised his other hand, and she could see a dark bottle in it, half-empty. He took a swig, laughing.

"You're worried about me? I guess I really have fallen as far as I can fall," he muttered.

"Gerard, I know you lost, but-"

"Lost?" He growled, turning his attention back to her. There was a new color to his eyes now, the harsh tone of anger. "You know damn well what it means to lose."

"I-I didn't-"

"I failed her," he muttered, laughing mockingly at himself. "I had to win. To make them see. To show them that I was the best, that I was worth existing. I had to make Elly's death mean something, to prove that she hadn't died to save some worthless lump of nothing like me… but I couldn't. In the end… I wasn't worth a damn thing. Elly died for nothing."

Elaina didn't like this. She didn't like this at all. Gerard… Gerard was just… he was broken. Empty. She wasn't sure how she could help him. She wasn't sure what she could do. She'd seen his fight against the Commander. She knew that he had done an amazing job, that he had nothing to be ashamed of. But she also knew that saying that would be pointless. It wouldn't help him. If anything, it would make him feel patronized.

But she had to do something. If he kept down this road, well, he was going to break down completely and then he wouldn't be able to help her. She couldn't lose Gerard, because then she would truly be alone.

That was why she had come here, after all. To see what she could do to help him.

"Stop talking like that!" Elaina exclaimed. She knelt down next to him. "Just stop! Please! You aren't worthless, Gerard! You just lost one fight!"

"I am the STRONGEST!" Gerard thundered, rising to his feet and shoving her away with one hand as he took another swallow from his bottle with the other, his breath reeking of liquor. "I can't lose! Not even one fight! I must be the strongest! I have to defeat EVERYONE!"

"You are strong!" Elaina said. "Please, Gerard, you can't give up like this!"

"Give up? You think this is me giving up?" He growled. "I've tried my hardest, Elaina! Don't you get it?! We can't all be like you, with your magic mind powers doing all the work for you! Everything I've accomplished, I had to work for! So don't you come here and talk to me about giving up, not until you've struggled like I have!"

Gerard's words stung. But they pissed her off even more.

"You call what you've done a struggle?" Elaina growled. She turned and surveyed the room, waving her hand dismissively at the carnage surrounding her. "You call this… hellscape a struggle?"

She turned her attention back to Gerard, glaring at him from behind her mask.

"I have to struggle every day of my life," she said. "This power of mine is a constant struggle. I fight and I tug and I scrape for every last scrap of sanity to keep this horrid ability of mine from consuming me completely! You think you're the same as me because you have to work a little harder to become a strong trainer? I have to struggle to stay SANE! To keep from losing myself to the madness, to keep from destroying everything around me! So don't you come to ME and talk about struggle, Gerard, I don't want to hear it!"

She grabbed him by the collar and shoved him towards the bed, his balance too impaired to stop from falling. The bottle slipped from his fingers and spilled out over the carpet, but he didn't even notice as his entire world was spinning. He didn't even notice that he'd hit the bed.

"Are you just going to give up?!" Elaina demanded. "Because you lost one time, you're a failure, is that it?! There's nothing left? No reason to keep going?! That's what it is, you try, you fail, you break down and throw it all away, is that what you're telling me about your so-called struggle? If so, all your hard work has amounted to nothing."

"Elaina…"

"Shut up, I'm talking!" Elaina shouted. She hadn't stood up to Gerard like this before. It felt kind of good. "Every day. Every! Day! I struggle. And sometimes my harmonia wins. Sometimes I can't control myself, sometimes I hurt people. And do you think I can afford to just give up and throw it all away because I lose control once? Of! Course! I! Can't! I keep going! I keep struggling, to do better next time! Are you telling me you can't even do that?!"

Gerard looked up at her, his face sunken-in and empty.

"I know what I have to do," he mumbled. "To get stronger. But I don't have the strength to do it."

"That's fine," Elaina said, placing her hand over her chest. Her harmonia flared up, a powerful burst of wind swirling around the room. "That's what I'm here for, Gerard. Do you want me to be your weapon? That's what I can be. A sword, a shield, whatever you need me to be in order to accomplish your goals! So please, make use of me however you want! I'll use my power to help you however you need! Just tell me what to do! Tell me you need me!"

Tell me I don't have to be alone again…

Gerard stared up at her, but his eyes were glassy. He couldn't see the pain on her face. And for all that she was saying, she couldn't bring herself to show him. That face… she couldn't let anyone see it. All she was was a weapon, after all.

"To be chastised even by you," he muttered, shaking his head and smiling bitterly. "I really must have sunken so far."

He turned his head back to look up at Elaina, and she sighed with relief. His eyes were no longer empty and hollow. There was a resolution there. And Elaina didn't know what it was a resolve for, but it was better than the emptiness.

She felt Harmonia's presence behind her.

There's nothing left for me but Gerard, she admitted to her psychic companion. So let me be a weapon for his sake, then.

Gerard is back on his feet after his painful loss, and Elaina has new resolve as well! But what will this mean for the two of them? What has Gerard resolved to do?