AN: Here we are, another chapter here.
I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think!
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Daryl lit a cigarette as soon as the door was closed behind him. His brother was sitting in the swing on the porch and he was smoking a cigarette of his own. Daryl didn't feel too inclined to get close enough to his brother to share the swing, so he simply stood on the porch, near the steps, and pretended that he had some great interest in surveying the street where his guests' cars were parked.
"If you come out here to chew on my ass," Merle said, breaking the silence between them, "then I'd advise you to just go back inside brother."
"I don't know why the hell I come out here," Daryl said. "Maybe I was just hopin' you'd explain to me why the hell you acted like you acted."
Merle laughed to himself.
"An' just how the hell did I act, lil' brother?" Merle asked.
"Like you don't give a damn," Daryl said. "Like I announced to the whole room that Carol's pregnant with my kid and you just don't give a damn."
Merle hummed.
"On the contrary," Merle responded.
"Then you pissed off," Daryl said. "But why? You got enough kids for your own damn team, Merle. What you got to be pissed off about that we might get one that's borned between us?"
"I don't give a damn if you have four hundred kids, Daryl," Merle said.
"Then what's your problem?" Daryl asked. He swallowed against the lump that was unmistakably threatening to cut off his air. "What the hell, Merle, is your problem? I wanted everyone here to be happy for us. For one damn night I wanted everyone to just be happy for us. All these damn years an' it seems like it's always about someone else. Like we just don't matter that much. Like our lives just ain't that important. Just tonight—I wanted it to be all about us. Because it's a big deal, Merle. It's a huge deal. To me and to Carol. We'd given up that we'd ever have a kid that was born between us. They was all gonna come from other places. Other parents...but it ain't so. We get at least one chance at this. So why the hell can't you just be happy for us, Merle?"
Merle shifted around and stared at Daryl. He finished his cigarette, snubbed it out in the ashtray that Daryl kept by the swing, and lit another.
"You're a nurse, Daryl," Merle said. "Is it safe to assume you know where the hell these babies come from and how the hell they're made?"
"Fuck you," Daryl said. "Of course I know how babies are made, Merle. I'm married an' I got one on the way."
Merle hummed.
"So you been servicin' that lil' lady since you married her?" Merle asked. "Maybe—you was even gettin' a little taste of things beforehand?"
Daryl narrowed his eyes at Merle.
"I never slept with Carol before we were married," Daryl said. "We done everything honorable. The right way."
"Except she come to you not exactly a blushin' bride," Merle said.
Daryl's stomach churned.
"I don't hold against her what she don't even remember," Daryl said. "And I'd appreciate if you'd keep your mouth shut about it. There's a lot that went on in her life that we don't know nothin' about. We don't know what happened."
Merle laughed.
"What happened was she lay down with another man 'fore she married him, Daryl, an' she got herself in trouble," Merle said. "We all care about Sophia. I know you love her an' you call her your own. Truth is, though, she was borned out of wedlock. She'da never been put up for adoption if she was borned into a healthy, happy marriage."
"We don't know if that marriage coulda ever been happy or healthy," Daryl said. "I know enough about him now. You do. Alice an' Mel. We know he ain't never had nothin' that even looked like a happy or healthy relationship. There's no reason to believe he'da had it with Carol. She dodged a bullet, Merle, not marryin' that man. What does it matter Sophia was borned outta wedlock? I give her my name, didn't I? I give her my name an' I give her my love. Call her my daughter. That's all that matters. If any man is ever to ask for her hand? He'll be askin' it from me. It'll be me that decides if he's the right man to call my daughter his wife—his beloved wife. That's all that matters. It don't matter where she come from."
Merle held his hand up in Daryl's direction to stop him from continuing and Daryl had to swallow against the mass in his throat again. If he didn't know exactly what it was and what caused it, he might have thought that he needed to get to the doctor posthaste to have the thing examined.
"You can just stop for a minute, brother," Merle said. "I can see by the condition of that vein in your forehead that'cha gettin' a lot more wound up than I meant for you to get. An' you gettin' loud enough that this ain't gonna be no private conversation for much longer."
Daryl checked himself and nodded his head. He disposed of his own cigarette butt, this time coming close to his brother, before he returned to his spot leaning against the bannister near the steps and lit another cigarette for himself.
"I've heard everything you've had to say about Sophia," Merle said. "Everything you've had to say about how she an' June an' Jack—they your kids. Just as sure as if you made 'em yourself. I accept that. Respect it, even. You got you a code an' you stick right by it. Let people say whatever the hell they wanna say—they don't sway you. Them's your kids. But that weren't what the hell I was gettin' at. Not exactly. Sophia—she's Carol's kid. Borned to her. Carried by her an' birthed by her. Am I right?"
Daryl nodded his head.
"I reckon you already knowed that," Daryl said.
"So I did," Merle said. "Happened when Carol was damn near a girl herself. But she carried that girl an' she birthed her. Brought her right on into the world. An' then they locked her away. Right? Put her right over there in that buildin' they got set to start workin' on for a center in the comin' year. Weren't that how it happened? They locked her up in there an' turned her into some kinda damn livin' corpse an' you found her there. Brought her home. Made her your wife. Found you the kid that was hers by birth an' you brought her into your home."
"You know the whole damn story," Daryl said. "Am I supposed to congratulate you for payin' attention, Merle? Or is it my turn to tell you how it was you an' Andrea got together?"
Merle laughed to himself.
"I got a point," Merle said.
"You take a long time gettin' to it," Daryl said.
"Just makin' sure I got my facts right," Merle said. "Otherwise you gonna raise hell at me an' say I don't got 'em right. So I'm just doin' my due diligence."
"OK, so get to your point, Merle," Daryl said. "If you even got one."
"You been sharin' a bed with your wife since she become your wife?" Merle asked.
"You know I have," Daryl said.
"An' you're sure you know how the hell it all works?" Merle asked. "I mean—you got the ins and the outs of the whole thing figured out? You know all the mechanics of it?"
"What are you on about?" Daryl asked.
Merle laughed to himself.
"Is that a yes or a no, lil' brother?" Merle asked. "Do you know how to properly service your wife?"
"I wouldn't call it such a thing," Daryl said. "But—I know what I'm doing. And I don't hear no complaints, either, if that's what the hell you're gonna ask me next."
Before Merle could say anything else, the door opened and Andrea stuck her head out.
"Sorry to interrupt you boys," Andrea said. "But your food's getting cold. Are you gonna eat any more of it, or you want it put away to keep for later? It's almost time for cake and coffee."
"I said my food would be there for me when I wanted it an' that's what the hell I meant, Andrea," Merle barked. "Can't you see we're out here talkin'? Go inside an' do the same. That's what you're here for. Daryl ain't finished his meal an' if Carol don't know it, then you know it well enough to tell her that it ain't proper to try to move on to dessert when your husband ain't finished his meal."
"Ask everyone if they wouldn't mind just givin' us a couple more minutes?" Daryl asked. "It's important to us that we finish this 'fore goin' back inside. And I weren't quite done, but I don't really mind it cold. Helps the digestion."
Andrea nodded her head at Daryl, but she didn't say anything her husband. She disappeared back inside the house and pushed the door closed. There was no telling what she'd tell the women inside—if they hadn't heard most of it already.
"You're an asshole," Daryl said. "I'd be ashamed to talk to my wife like that."
"You the sweet one," Merle said. "'Course maybe that's my point."
"You mean you still believe you got one?" Daryl asked. "'Cause I ain't so sure."
"Carol make herself available to you?" Merle asked.
"What?" Daryl asked.
"As your wife, she's got her a duty to make herself available to you," Merle said. "Take care of your needs. You agreed to marry her an' take care of her needs. She's gotta take care of yours. Is she takin' care of your needs, lil' brother? Or she got her a headache or some nonsense like that more times than she don't?"
Daryl laughed to himself.
"We do just fine," Daryl said. "Could be that I don't treat it like a job she's gotta do whether she wants to or not, but she don't never refuse me. In fact? She's the one invitin' me to bed if I'm threatening to stay up too late."
"You ain't noticed no changes?" Merle asked. "Like maybe she just ain't as excited to see you? Maybe she's a little—outta sorts when you get home? Maybe, even, she goes the other way and right now she's treatin' you like you made a' sugar?"
Daryl furrowed his brow at his brother and shrugged his shoulders.
"Carol's Carol," Daryl said. "If she's changed it's 'cause she's been distracted. Wonderin' when we would get to tell people about the baby. Worryin' that people like you might be assholes about it."
"Or she's worried about somethin' else entirely," Merle said.
"You about to that point you got, yet, brother?" Daryl asked.
"My point is that if you an' your wife was havin' your first kid—your first real kid? I'd be happy for you. Damn near ready to tap dance if that's what'cha want brother. You've waited a long time an' you're finally havin' a real kid."
"You know how the hell I feel about you sayin' that the kids ain't real," Daryl pointed out.
"You know what I mean," Merle said.
"I'd prefer it if you was to say what you mean," Daryl said. "Just in case someone else was to overhear that didn't know what'cha meant as good as I do. That's the first thing I gotta say to you. The second is that—well, I don't know if you got cloth for ears, Merle, but the whole reason we invited you here is to tell you that's exactly what we got goin' on! We got us a baby! If you missed the announcement, it's comin' in November."
"The whole time you been wantin' to have a kid, we've knowed that Carol didn't have no trouble havin' a kid," Merle said. "If she did, then she couldn'ta had Sophia. It hurts your damn feelings when I say it, but the point remains that it's always been possible that it was you that weren't man enough to service your wife the way she needed or something. Somethin' sure weren't connectin' there, 'cause she ain't never had you no kid in all these years of tryin' for one."
"We don't know why," Daryl said. "And it don't matter."
"But it do matter," Merle said. "Why now? Why all of a sudden is she up an' pregnant? After all these years, Daryl? Why now is it just somethin' that worked out? She's the same person an' you the same person. The ingredients you've been mixin' together ain't changed. So why is it that now—after all these years—you're tellin' me that there's somethin' baking in the oven?"
"It just took," Daryl said. "Took and stuck. We don't know that she ain't never been pregnant before. We just know she ain't been pregnant long enough to know. Don't know why not, Merle. Maybe it was the medication and the treatments she had to suffer through for them years she was in that place. Maybe it was the trauma. Maybe it was something psychological. The body works in mysterious ways, Merle. Maybe it was just time. Maybe God himself decided it was finally time. We paid off our sins or somethin' and we earned us a blessing."
Merle laughed to himself.
"Are you that damn naïve, boy? Or are you that damn love bit?" Merle asked. Daryl simply furrowed his brow at him. "The only thing that makes sense is that that woman in there? She's come into contact with someone who could give her what the hell she needed to make a baby. She's come into contact with someone who had some damn compatible ingredients. You thought she was home makin' dresses all day long, but she's been makin' a fool outta you is what she's been doin'. And now she's carryin' around some asshole's kid an' you're just gonna look like a brayin' jackass while you run around tellin' everyone it's your kid an' you're so damn excited it's comin' after all these years of y'all never gettin' it right before."
Daryl's heart slammed into his chest. His stomach tightened. For just a second he felt a little dizzy as his brother's accusation settled into him. All he could do, for a few moments, was simply shake his head at his brother.
"No," Daryl said, finally finding his voice. "No. It ain't like that, Merle. Carol—she's faithful to me. Maybe I can see how you could wonder. Maybe I can see how other people might wonder. Maybe they'll even say somethin' about it an' we'll have to set the whole damn town straight, but let me start with settin' you straight. Carol's faithful to me. She wouldn't never...never."
Daryl never did finish saying what Carol would never do, but Merle knew exactly what he was talking about.
He wanted to be mad at his brother, but he couldn't. Merle wasn't yanking him around. He wasn't giving him a hard time. His tone of voice was steady and he wasn't even leaning forward in the swing. There was no smirk on his lips.
Merle wasn't trying to piss him off. He was simply sure that he'd figured out why it was that their baby had taken so long to get there. And maybe he wouldn't be the only one to ask themselves that question and arrive at that same answer.
But they were all wrong.
"Every man that's ever been made a fool of by a woman wanted to believe she weren't that type, brother," Merle said.
"She ain't," Daryl repeated.
"What you think has changed, Daryl? After all these years? If nothin's changed with the two of you—what you think's changed that brought this about? After all this time?"
"God," Daryl said.
"You really believe that?" Merle asked. "That God ain't got nothin' better to do but torture you with wantin' a kid all this time an' then up an' decide to hand it over to you now? Like you waited long enough?"
"Happened in the Bible," Daryl said.
Merle laughed.
"So it did," Merle said. "You think you an' Carol's important enough to be like Bible people?"
"It's possible," Daryl said. "I'd believe it was aliens 'fore I believed that she was runnin' around."
"You don't know this is your kid," Merle said.
"An' you don't know it ain't," Daryl said.
"It ain't fair to you if it she's runnin' around," Merle said.
"It ain't fair to her to accuse her of somethin' that you got no proof of, Merle," Daryl said. "You don't even got a good reason to suspect it. You got nothin' except you don't wanna accept that there might still be some miracles in the world an' maybe one of 'em—just one of 'em—was meant for somebody like me."
"Brother—despite what the hell you might think," Merle said. "I wish you all the damn miracles in the world. Always have. Always wanted the best for you, brother. But I can't be happy that some woman is runnin' around makin' a fool outta my baby brother. Bringin' you nothin' but shame if she is."
"She ain't," Daryl said, swallowing hard. "She ain't. She never has. Carol—she's doin' nothing but being my wife. My faithful, honest...perfect wife. And the mother to my kids. All of 'em. An' now? She's carryin' this lil' baby that's—if you can't answer the question for yourself no other way, Merle, and you gotta have an answer to a question that don't even concern you—then this baby's just a miracle and that's all the hell you gotta think about it as bein'. And if anybody asks your ass? You tell 'em that. You tell 'em this baby is just a miracle. An' if I hear, Merle—if I hear you been sayin' anything else against me or against my wife? I'ma take it personal and then it's gonna be down to me and you."
Merle stared at him. He nodded his head.
"Fine," Merle said. "But I hope you're not just setting yourself up for a world of hurt, brother."
"I'm not," Daryl assured him.
"We alright?" Merle asked.
Daryl hesitated a moment and nodded his head.
"Long as you remember what I told you," Daryl said. "About you don't say shit about what the hell you dared to think an' you set anybody straight that decides to think the same damn thing."
"Yeah—I heard you," Merle said. "Loud an' clear."
"I want'cha to go back in there," Daryl said. "An' I want'cha to be fuckin' happy for me, Merle. I want'cha to be happy for Carol."
Merle nodded his head.
"If that's what you want," Merle said.
"It's what the hell I want," Daryl said.