Blake and Ayame's date is wrapping up now that they've discussed their relationship and the steps they need to take forward to have a healthier life together. But while that's all being settled on the mainland, back at the Pokemon Academy some other people are having some issues with their feelings as well, and feeling like their relationship with Blake is also being neglected. Remember to review!

KedharS: Who can say. There are probably some other healthy ones, in their own ways.

Just a Bad Writer for Fun: It's a good thing it wasn't such a hard or painful talk. Hopefully they'll be able to make it through with their relationship intact.

Pokemon Academy: Beginning of Beginnings

Chapter 820

Cynthia stared out the window and sighed.

She should be excited now. The most of the upperclassmen would be leaving campus tomorrow, the seniors and juniors would be going to the Orre Region, while a good chunk of the sophomores aiming for the Battle Course would be going to their various postings at gyms.

She should be bursting with excitement, knowing that soon the campus would belong to the first years, and would basically have free run over it.

But she wasn't, she was feeling bad. She'd been excited all week, and a while before that, but right now the only thing on her mind was Blake. Blake had gone out with Ayame on another date, while she was here.

The fact that she felt so bad about Blake just going on a date with his girlfriend made her feel even worse.

She wasn't supposed to be feeling this way. She was supposed to be his friend. She couldn't help how she felt, but it still didn't make her feel any better knowing that she was still consumed with jealousy right now.

Was it so wrong to miss the guy she liked? Was it so wrong to want to spend time with him, even though he was with somebody else?

Cynthia's heart said "no", but everything she knew about propriety and fidelity said "yes".

She sighed again. I guess I really am jealous, huh… no avoiding that, I guess…

Cynthia meant what she said when she stated she didn't want to come between Blake and his relationship with Ayame. She really was okay with just being his friend, in fact, she was happy to be nothing more than a friend if it meant she could keep him in her life.

But her heart had other ideas. Even though she shouldn't be feeling this way, she couldn't HELP it, it was just…

Aaaargh! She hated herself so much sometimes! Stupid heart, I don't want to hurt Blake or Ayame by being too clingy! Just… I just…

…I want to spend more time with the guy I like, that's all…

She sighed again.

Every time Cynthia sighed, Julia's eye twitched. She was writing a paper right now, and Cynthia's repeated sighing kept breaking her concentration. She would have gone to do her work in the library, but even though the curfew laws had grown a little more lax they still weren't at the level where anyone was allowed to go there alone at night.

So now she was here. Stuck in the room with Cynthia and her sighing.

Cynthia sighed again, and Julia just gave up. There was no way she was going to get any work done, not with Cynthia all down in the dumps like this. She sighed herself and closed her laptop, getting out of bed and walking over to her roommate.

"Cynthia, you okay?" Julia asked, placing her hand on Cynthia's shoulder and startling her.

"H-Huh? Oh, Julia, hey, what's up?" Cynthia asked, blushing a little. She had been so focused on her own feelings and disappointment she had completely missed that Julia was still in the room. She'd been just kind of airing her own sad feelings like this, right in front of her roommate. That was pretty embarrassing.

At the same time, maybe Julia could help her?

…No, no, she didn't want to bother her friend.

"It… It's nothing, Julia, don't worry about it," Cynthia said, forcing a cheery grin onto her face. She didn't want to make her worried.

Of course, it was a little too late for that. Julia didn't buy that for a second. She'd been sighing way too damn many times for her to be okay.

She could see it in her eyes, too. Cynthia was having a real problem. Julia put finishing her paper aside for now. Cynthia needed her help.

"Come on, Cynthia, I know you better than that," Julia said, joining Cynthia beside the windowsill. "Sango's not here, it's just the two of us. If there's something you want to talk about, I'm here for you. You know that."

Cynthia looked at Julia's adamant expression. While she was usually pretty permissive about this sort of thing and kept to herself, when she wanted something she could be really damn persistent. She sighed in resignation.

"It's… Julia, do you think I'm a good person?" Cynthia asked glumly.

Julia was taken aback by that. What kind of question was that? She wasn't used to Cynthia having these sorts of doubts about herself, Cynthia was the kind of girl who would always believe in herself and do what she wanted.

…No, wait, Cynthia had been like this before, with Maddi. She might have been smiles on the surface, but she did think a lot about how her actions could affect others. But at the same time, she wasn't a girl who sweated the small stuff.

No, if Cynthia was really this bothered by her actions, enough to ask Julia whether or not she was a good person, then it had to be something serious.

Julia had to think carefully about how she wanted to approach this topic. While she was thinking, Cynthia was looking anxiously at her, a little nervous. She thought that the reason Julia was taking so long to say anything was because she didn't think Cynthia was a good person.

Maybe she was right.

What Julia said next surprised her.

"Why do you think you aren't a good person?" Julia asked simply.

Cynthia was taken aback. She blinked, confused. "Huh? W-Well, I just…"

"Did you do something bad?" Julia inquired. "Did you hurt someone, or make Maddi upset again? Is there something you feel the need to apologize for?"

She knew that Cynthia must have felt pretty awful, the only thing she could think of was that because she had messed up somehow. There were a lot of ways that could have been the case, and Julia hoped that she wasn't stepping into something big.

But Cynthia didn't know what she was talking about. "N-No, it isn't… it's not because I did something, not really, it's just… well, I guess…"

Julia was kind of miffed. It wasn't like Cynthia to be this nervous and unsure of herself. Oh, well, she would let the girl talk. "Then tell me what's wrong," Julia said. "If you didn't do anything wrong, then why would you ask me a question like that, Cynthia?"

Cynthia felt a little uncomfortable talking about the issue unprompted, but at the same time, she wanted vindication. And Julia certainly wasn't going to provide it on her own. She made that pretty clear.

"Look. I'm a direct person, Cynthia, you know that, right?" Julia clarified.

Cynthia nodded. That was exactly why she'd asked Julia. Sango might have tried to mollify her, but Julia would tell her the honest truth, and that's what she wanted to hear right now. She didn't like the idea of being considered a bad person, and if she was, then she needed to know, so she could correct her behavior.

And maybe Julia would have some advice about how she could stop feeling this way. It was worth a chance, anyway. And what Julia said next just confirmed it.

"I'm not going to give you some absolution and say that you're definitely a good person," Julia asserted. "Not just out of nowhere, anyway. Because I don't have all the facts. But I'm going to listen to what you have to say, and help you out however I can."

Cynthia nodded, her face softening with a little more comfort. She was ready to do this. She could tell Julia the truth. It wouldn't be that hard, after all. Julia already knew that she liked Blake, like everyone else. And she'd never seemed to hold that against her.

So in theory, this should be totally fine.

"It's… about Blake," she admitted, looking down. "And my feelings for him."

Julia raised her eyebrow. "So what, you think you're a bad person because you have feelings for Blake? That's what this is about?"

She nodded glumly. "It's… I know it's not right, liking him this way, but it's not like I can help myself, you know? I like him."

Julia could understand how Cynthia could come to that conclusion. But at the same time, there wasn't really anything she could do about that. "Look, Cynthia, think about it like this. Did you want to develop feelings for Blake?"

She shook her head.

"Then what's the problem?" Julia shrugged. "The way I see it, you're a bad person because of what you do, not because of things you can't change. You're in love with Blake. You didn't want to be, but it happened that way. And now here you are, feeling bad about something that you didn't want to be, isn't that right?"

"But… I mean, I like Blake!" Cynthia wailed. "And I LIKE liking Blake! I love the way it makes me feel, and I want to spend more time with him because I like him! Even though he already has a girlfriend, I can't stop feeling this way… and I don't want to."

Her voice got really soft and she curled up in her chair. "Doesn't… doesn't that make me a bad person?" She mumbled.

Julia sighed. She could see that this was complicated. "Look, Cynthia, I know that you like him, and I know that you want to spend time with him. But have you done anything else besides just that?" She asked.

"What do you mean?" Cynthia wasn't sure what she meant.

"Like… have you tried to wreck his relationship with Ayame, or lied about her to him to try to drive a wedge, or tried to force yourself on him even when he said no?" Julia asked.

"No, of course not!" Cynthia quickly protested. "…Okay, well, maybe that last one, but when he told me not to do stuff like that anymore, I stopped!"

"Right, because you like Blake and you respect him, and you understand that he's chosen who he wants to be with, isn't that right?" Julia confirmed.

"…Yeah, I guess," Cynthia had to admit.

"So doesn't that seem more like something that a good person would do, instead of a bad person? It's not bad to have feelings for him, or even wanting to spend time with him. See, I'm not a big 'love' person myself, so maybe I'm not the right person to talk to about this, but isn't the way you pursue your love important, too?"

Cynthia turned pale and looked away sheepishly. "What, like don't grope someone you're attracted to or stuff like that? Because I-"

"Okay, um, well, that's a separate issue, and something we'll address at a later time," Julia hastily interrupted. If this conversation shifted to about Cynthia's proclivities for bad touches, they would be here all night.

"Then I guess yeah, I'm not… doing anything so bad," Cynthia said, nodding. She was starting to feel a little bit better about all of this. Maybe she was getting too far in her own head.

At the same time as Cynthia's mood was improving, Julia was getting more suspicious and curious. There had to be something behind this question, Cynthia had had feelings for Blake for quite a long time by this point. So why was she just now asking if that made her a bad person?

"Cynthia, is there anything else you aren't telling me?" Julia asked. Sure, maybe it was prying, but Cynthia had been the one to come to her for help. "If you're not totally honest with me then I don't think my advice will be very much use to you."

Cynthia paused and thought about it. "What do you mean? I wanted to talk to you about my feelings for Blake, that's all."

"Okay, yes, but what brought that on now?" Julia asked. "Did Blake say something? Did you say something?"

Cynthia shook her head. "No, it's not… I guess it's not that something changed, I just… well, the campus is going to be so empty starting tomorrow, you know?"

"Yeah, what about it? What does that have to do with everything?" Julia asked.

"Well, I guess…" Cynthia felt a little guilty for admitting this, but Julia was right. There was no getting away from the fact that she had to be honest. "I was thinking that… since Ayame is going to be in the Orre Region for nearly two months… while Blake is stuck here…"

Uh-oh. Julia didn't like the direction this train of thought was heading in. She could see the tracks clearly, and they were leading towards the edge of a cliff.

"Cynthia…" She began to warn the girl, but it was too late.

"…I thought that if she wasn't there, well… then that would be my chance," Cynthia admitted. It felt good to get it off of her chest.

Julia, on the other hand, felt pretty much like shit. This was Cynthia's "chance". It didn't take a genius to figure out what she meant with something like that. So much for Cynthia being a good person, the way it sounded, it seemed like she was planning to take advantage of Ayame's absence to try and seduce Blake away from her. And there was nothing "good" about that.

"…I see the dilemma," Julia said evenly. She wasn't ready to directly condemn her friend just yet, but she definitely wasn't going to PRAISE her for what she just said. "That must be… a difficult position to find yourself in."

Cynthia nodded in agreement until she saw the way Julia's face darkened with suspicion. She went over the words in her head again and immediately turned bright red. "W-Wait! I-I didn't mean it like that!" She quickly proclaimed.

"Huh?" Julia wasn't sure what to make of that. Had she been wrong about something?

"Look, I don't… I mean, it's not like I was saying this was my chance to, like, STEAL Blake or anything like that!" Cynthia said quickly, shaking her head. "No, god no, I would never do something like that to Blake or Ayame!"

Oh, that was a relief. Julia felt the tension release from her body. "Well, then if you weren't talking about stealing Blake from Ayame, what did you mean by your 'chance'?"

"Just… well…" It was embarrassing to say, but Cynthia needed to make herself completely clear. She averted her eyes out of shame. "It's… my chance to spend time with him, that's all…"

Julia blinked. Wasn't that what… wait, no, no, Cynthia didn't mean that in the sense of trying to get Blake to like her. "So… you just want to hang out with Blake? But don't you do that every day, pretty much?"

"Well, I mean, yeah, he eats with us," Cynthia agreed. "And we have fun times together, like when we had that party in the room for Sango last week. But it's just…"

They didn't do anything together anymore.

"When the school year started, Blake was, like, one of my closest friends," Cynthia explained. "We would hang out together all the time, talk about our pokemon, train with each other, even watch anime together, you know, best friend stuff. But now…"

Cynthia felt horrible even saying it. She felt like it wasn't her place. But Julia wanted her to be honest about how she felt, and this was how she felt.

"…It feels like we aren't really that close of friends anymore. Like, all that time we spent together, now he just spends it with Ayame. It's like we used to be besties, and then he got a girlfriend and now it's like he doesn't have any time for me anymore."

There it was, out in the open. She felt like shit even saying it, but she'd felt that way for a long time now. Heck, she'd felt like this before she even realized how much she liked Blake.

Julia sat there patiently and listened to Cynthia's explanation before weighing in herself.

"So… you're jealous of Ayame and Blake getting to spend so much time together because you'd rather he be spending time with you," she mused.

Cynthia nodded. "Does… does that make me a bad person? I mean, I know I shouldn't be thinking that way, that this is just, like, me being super clingy and stuff! Like, I have a crush on Blake! But I swear it is NOT about that! This isn't about me wanting to just spend time with the guy I like, I just want to spend time with someone I like! Wait, no, that came out wrong, ugh, this is so hard to explain, give me a second…"

In spite of the difficulties Cynthia was having stringing together a coherent sentence, Julia could get the drift of it. Cynthia was lonely. Blake was her best friend, and she loved spending time with him, even just as a friend. (Her feelings also probably played a role in that too, though)

The problem was, Blake had a girlfriend. And now he was spending all his time with her, and Cynthia felt like she'd lost one of her closest friends.

But Cynthia couldn't just directly say that, of course, because her feelings for Blake would make anything she said to that effect sound like a boyfriend-stealing girl.

Yeah, that was a tricky one, alright. This was why Julia was glad that she didn't pay any mind to romantic relationships and stuff like that. It was so much easier to just have platonic friends like Kitty, there was no need to worry about stuff like crushes and being taken the wrong way with someone who was just a friend.

"Cynthia, I think I get it, and I just want to ask something," Julia said, clearing her throat. "When you say you want to spend time with Blake, it's not because you want to do boyfriend-girlfriend stuff with him, right?"

"…Well, but I do want to do boyfriend-girlfriend stuff," Cynthia admitted. "But I know I can't! Because I'm a good girl, and I would never try to-"

"Okay, so, yes, you want to hang out more with Blake as just a platonic friend. No kissing or handholding or heavy petting or any of that other stuff," Julia clarified.

"Yeah, exactly!" Cynthia said, nodding vigorously. Julia did get it! "And I swear, it's not about feelings or crushes or anything like that! Just as a friend."

"That's okay, I believe you," Julia assured her. "You just want to be close with Blake again as a friend."

"Yes!" Cynthia was relieved that someone could finally understand.

"…And that's okay."

That wasn't what Cynthia had expected Julia to say.

"That's… okay?" She asked, confused.

Julia nodded. "You like Blake romantically. Okay, fine. But those feelings aren't why you want to spend time with him, right? You just miss your friend. So just tell him that sometime. Because having feelings for a guy doesn't make you a bad person, and neither does hoping that you get to spend more time with your friend, even if that friend is also your crush."

"Even if I wished that he would spend less time focusing on Ayame, and more time focusing on me?" Cynthia asked warily. That couldn't be okay, could it?

Julia frowned. "That's… a little more selfish, yes. But it's also human. So as long as you aren't trying to force yourself between the two of them, I don't think that makes you a bad person, either."

Julia's words carried no definitive sign of absolution. But nonetheless Cynthia could still feel a great weight being lifted off her shoulders. She sprung out of her seat and hugged her friend.

"Oh, thanks Julia! That means the world to me!"

Of course, this would be a sensitive subject to bring up with Blake himself. Cynthia was prepared to do just about anything to prove her motives were sincere. She hoped that would be enough to convince him.

So while Blake was worried about his relationship, other people are worried about their relationships with him. Soon, the issue will be forced. How will he handle himself while he's apart from Ayame?