WHAT IF - SEASON 2 EPISODE 12 - IF I WAS YOUR GIRLFRIEND
Disclaimer: I don´t own Degrassi or the characters from it.
1. Ext. Park. Day.
It´s one of the last warm days of the year, before fall really starts to come and lots of people are enjoying a day at the park. Kids are flying kites, young lovers are lost in each other and friends are enjoying each other´s company. Two of them are Amy and Alex, who are sitting on a blanket among the rest of them. Alex is pulling petals off a small flower, she´s picked.
Alex:
She loves me, she loves me lots. She loves me, she loves me lots.
With the last petal gone, she throws the flower away.
Amy:
Same result as last time. It´s a shame that she doesn´t know, she´s supposed to love you that way.
Alex:
I haven´t even come out to anyone, except for you. Going right from there to "Ashley, would you like to be my girlfriend" is too much of a step.
Amy:
Plus, there´s a Maria in the way.
Alex:
Maybe I should try to forget about it. It´s not like it´ll be the first crush I´ve had, that didn´t work out.
Amy:
The two of you would be perfect together! If she only knew what life would be like as your girlfriend, she´d be off the Maria train before the conductor could make the train stop!
Alex considers it.
Alex:
How did you score with Spinner?
Amy:
He said "You look great tonight, Amy", I said "So do you, Spinner" and a minute later we were making out! It´s nice with a guy, who isn´t overly complicated!
Alex and Amy laugh.
Alex:
This will take a little more work than that!
Amy:
We´ll figure something out. I won´t rest easy until my two best friends are happy together!
Alex:
Let me take this one step at a time. Promise you won´t interfere?
Amy:
Only with positive reinforcement!
Alex doesn´t look like she complete trusts Amy to keep her nose out of it.
OPENING CREDITS
2. Ext. Degrassi. Morning.
Students are arriving for school. Among them are Amy and Spinner, who greet each other with a good morning kiss.
Spinner:
Did you have strawberry yoghurt for breakfast?
Amy:
Could you taste it?
Spinner:
A little bit. I guess there is a way for you to be sweeter!
She smiles, but gives him a playful little jab on the arm.
Amy:
I´m not sweet. I´m a mean old barn-yard sow, who bullies everyone else into doing what she wants them to!
Spinner:
Liar! Did you have a fun day with Alex?
Amy:
The best! Although I feel a little sorry for her.
Spinner:
The poor girl! Who beat her up this time? Was it her mom or her step-dad?
Amy:
Nothing like that, thankfully! This is more of a normal teen issue.
Spinner:
A crush?
Amy:
Yeah, but we have the classic issue to deal with. Her "someone" already has a "someone".
Spinner:
But you think this "someone" would be better off with Alex as their "someone"?
Amy:
The two of them are a perfect match. Alex is a great girl. She deserves to finally have the tiniest bit of luck in love. How would you break a couple up?
Spinner:
Don´t even think it!
Amy:
Why not? If someone else is better for them ...
Spinner:
It´s their business! Meddling in these things never work out the way you want them to, especially when an innocent girl will get caught in the middle. Let Alex sort out her own love life.
Amy reluctantly nods, but it isn´t looking like she´s too deterred.
3. Int. Hallway. Day.
Ashley is heading up the hallway with Marco and Ellie.
Ashley:
Ellie, you knew from the start that he´s hardly a man of culture!
Ellie:
He called "Caddyshack 2" an underrated comedic masterpiece! Sometimes I wonder, if I´m wasting my time with him!
Ashley and Marco can´t help finding it a little funny.
Marco:
That sounds absolutely awful! You have to dump him right away!
Ellie:
I´m not gonna do that ...
Ashley:
If you don´t, then what´s next? He would start praising Bruce Willis movies in front of you, if you´re not careful!
Marco:
If that isn´t grounds for a break-up, I don´t know what is!
Ellie sees that she was probably over reacting and feels a little foolish.
Ellie:
I´m asking too much, aren´t I?
Ashley:
I think you´re missing, what´s exciting about being with someone like him. Enjoy that you´re different from one another and let it inspire you! Opening your mind is never a bad thing!
Marco:
Like our own Ash here did, when she decided to join the winning team!
Ellie:
How´s that going, by the way?
Ashley:
Okay, I suppose. It´ll still take a while to get used to for everyone.
Alex comes over to them with an unusual smile for this time in the morning.
Alex:
Morning, guys. Ash, I was thinking that we should do a project together for science week?
The others look surprised, but Ashley seems to like the idea.
Ashley:
Sure! Do you have anything special in mind?
Alex:
Not really. The thing is that in all my years in school, I´ve never done a project for it and this is my last chance, so ...
Ashley:
Cool! We´ll come up with something. You can come over to my house tonight and we´ll brain storm.
Alex:
Awesome! Later, Gators!
She hurries off to her first class. Marco and Ellie smile to themselves.
Marco:
Wow, Ellie. Wouldn´t you like to live a life were everything is awesome and cool all the time?
Ellie:
Sign me up!
Ashley:
Guys, she´s just trying to branch out. If I can help her, that´s great, isn´t it?
Marco:
Unless you she has other plans. You can´t tell me, that your gay-dar hasn´t been picking things up lately in regard to one miss Alex Nunez?
Ashley:
So what, if she is? We´re only friends.
Ellie:
Funny. It feels like I´ve heard that line a hundred times before, just before two people became a couple. It really is a strange coincidence!
They reach their classroom and head inside.
4. Int. Classroom. Day.
Amy is surfing on one of the school´s PC´s and is trying to find out everything she can about Maria. Ellie comes in and walks over to her.
Ellie:
Mind if I join you?
Amy:
Sure, Red.
Ellie takes a seat at the PC next to Amy´s and shuffles the mouse around to make the screen start up. She has a look at Amy´s screen.
Ellie:
Is that Ashley´s girlfriend?
Amy:
You´ve never met her?
Ellie:
You and Alex are probably the only two of Ashley´s friends, who have. From what she tells me, Maria is deep in the closet, if you know what I mean.
Amy:
It can´t be an easy thing to tell everyone.
Amy starts to hatch an idea and looks pleased with it.
Amy:
What are you looking for?
Ellie:
An intelligent comedy, that both me and Jay will like. There has to be one, we can agree on!
Amy:
Try a Mel Brooks movie. They´d be right up Jay´s alley and have enough good story to keep you interested.
Ellie:
Any movie in particular, you can recommend?
Amy:
I´d start with "Blazing Saddles" or "Young Frankenstein". You can thank me tomorrow.
Ellie:
Who needs the internet, when you have an Amy? I guess, I don´t need to waste my lunch break on this thing now. Thanks.
Ellie gets up and begins to leave.
Amy:
You´re welcome. The Lasagna is pretty good today.
Ellie:
I´ll give it a try. See ya!
Ellie leaves her and Amy gets to work with creating a fake Face Range profile for herself that she names "Kelly Walsh".
5. Int. Ashley´s Room. Evening.
Ashley and Alex are brain storming their project.
Alex:
I´ve never done this before, so I´m counting on your expertise.
Ashley:
You still must have seen a ton of them!
Alex:
Not really. I was more busy making fun of the kids, who made them!
Ashley:
I´m glad, I didn´t know you back then!
Alex:
You don´t think, we would have become friends?
Ashley:
It´s more likely, that I would have been scared of you. Young Ashley wasn´t nearly as brave as the new Ashley!
Alex:
You don´t think, she would have had the courage to come out?
Ashley:
The thought of what her friends thought, would been enough to make her clam up. It´s taken a long time and lot of events, I could have done without, to get me here.
Alex:
I don´t know how I´m gonna tell everyone.
Ashley smiles at her, to Alex´s relief.
Ashley:
I´ll help you, any way I can. Does anyone else know?
Alex:
Only Amy. Not that I think it´ll come as much of a surprise to my parents!
Ashley:
I kind of had a feeling, that you might be. Is there anyone in particular, you like?
Alex lies and shakes her head.
Alex:
What would you look for in a girlfriend?
Ashley:
I guess she has to be attentive and caring, those are big for me. I want someone, who listens, when I talk and don´t just pretend to. It would be nice, if we had a lot in common, but it´s no biggie, if we don´t .
Alex:
That´s it? You´re easy to please!
Ashley:
What´s on your list?
Alex:
Someone like you and Amy, I guess.
Ashley:
So, your perfect girlfriend would just be a mix of me and Amy?
Ashley giggles. Alex eventually does too.
Alex:
We can call her Ash-my!
Ashley:
It sounds like I´m not the only one, who´s relatively easy to please.
They girls smile at each other and Alex looks relieved that Ashley took the news so well.
6. Int. Jay´s Apartment. Evening.
Jay and Ellie are watching "Blazing Saddles" and Ellie can barely believe her eyes! Jay finds it hysterical though, as we hear a multitude of fart sounds coming from the TV.
Ellie:
It´s just guys eating beans and farting!
Jay:
I know!
He breaks down laughing and eventually she has to give into the silliness to and laugh along with him.
7. Int. Hallway. Morning.
Ellie and Marco are talking to Terri, who´s trying to take it in with Marco, as Ellie vividly explains the movies, she saw last night.
Ellie:
I can´t tell you have many scenes there were, where I just went "Nope! That wouldn´t fly today!". I tell you, comedy is best, when there´s no boundaries to it!
Marco:
You got that from watching two movies?
Ellie:
I haven´t laughed that hard in ... ever! We had to stop the second movie twice, so I could get my laughing hiccups under control!
Terri:
Have you seen "Freddy Got Fingered"?
Marco:
Oh, God! Have you?
Ellie:
What´s "Freddy Got Fingered"?
Terri:
The best example of why comedy SHOULD have boundaries!
Marco:
You didn´t dream about sausages for weeks afterwards, did you?
Terri:
You did?
Marco:
Some things you´d rather forget!
Ellie:
I´m convincing Jay to give it a chance, just so I can put up a counter argument tomorrow!
Ashley comes over to them, looking very down.
Terri:
Hi, Sweetie. What´s got you down?
Ashley:
I got dumped this morning.
Marco:
Talk about a sucky way to start the day!
Ashley:
Some girl named Kelly spread a ton of gay rumors about Maria on-line, that weren´t true. Maria´s freaked out and I can´t blame her.
Terri:
She isn´t out yet?
Ashley:
Her parents aren´t like mine. They´re strictly Catholic. Even a rumor like this can ruin everything for her.
Ellie:
Man! Can they punish this girl?
Ashley:
They´re trying to find out which IP address, it was sent from, but she didn´t break any laws, whoever it is.
Marco:
I remember the first time someone called me gay in front of my friends. It was one of the scariest moments of my life. To have it all on-line, where everyone can read it, has to be her worst nightmare come true.
Ellie:
I don´t care, if she didn´t break any laws. That girl deserves to have the book thrown at her!
Terri:
The biggest book, they can find!
They all nod in agreement.
8. Int. Classroom. Morning.
Amy is hanging out with Spinner before class starts and looks to be enjoying herself. A message comes over the PA.
Hatzilakos (voice over):
Any students, who were in the computer lab during the lunch break yesterday, are to report to the principal´s office immediately.
Amy looks worried.
Spinner:
Weren´t you surfing during yesterday´s lunch break?
Amy:
I was, but I´m sure it has nothing to do with me!
Spinner:
You´d better go. Hot Sauce doesn´t like to be kept waiting.
Amy leaves the classroom, looking worried.
9. Int. Principal´s Office. Morning.
Amy and Ellie are with Hatzilakos. Ellie looks extremely nervous, where as Amy is trying to play it cool.
Hatzilakos:
Do you two know what trolling is?
Ellie:
Miss Hatzilakos, I was just ...
Hatzilakos:
Answer the question! Do you know?
Amy:
It´s when you bully someone on-line and spread lies about them.
Ellie:
I would never do that, I swear!
Hatzilakos:
One of you did and we´re not done here, until the culprit confesses.
Ellie:
I just came in to find a movie to watch with my boyfriend! Please, miss Hatzilkaos. You have to believe me!
Ellie starts crying and Amy´s heart goes out to her.
Amy:
It was all me. Ellie is way too nice to ever do that to anyone.
Hatzilakos:
Ellie, you´re excused. Amy, we have a lot to talk about.
Amy clearly isn´t looking forward to it, but Ellie looks relieved and dries her eyes, before leaving as fast as she can. Amy looks down at the floor, while Hatzilakos stares her down.
Hatzilakos:
Do you have any idea, what you´ve done to this girl?
Amy shakes her head, but it´s clear that she feels very guilty over it.
10. Int. Hallway. Morning.
Alex is looking pissed off and slams her locker shut. A very meek looking Amy comes over to her.
Amy:
Can we talk for a sec, Alex?
Alex turns to stare at her and Amy looks very small.
Alex:
What did I tell you, Amy?
Amy:
To butt out.
Alex:
What were you thinking?
Amy:
You knew it was me?
Alex:
"Kelly Walsh"! You´re the biggest 90210 fan in Canada! It didn´t take long to figure out!
Amy:
Does Ashley know?
Alex:
I want to give you the chance to explain yourself to her, because I can´t!
Amy:
Look, I feel bad enough as it is!
Alex:
I don´t think, you do! You outed this girl to the entire school. If anyone had done that to me, I can´t say what I would have done to them!
Amy:
I was only trying to help, because I love the both you. If it´s any consolation, I now have to go home and explain why I´m suspended for the rest of the day and have a month´s detention.
Alex:
I love you too, but what you did here was so bad, that I can´t put it into words.
Amy nods and looks sad, even though she knows, she deserved it. She leaves Alex and heads up the hallway, while Alex looks annoyed at the whole situation.
11. Int. Hallway. Day.
Amy comes up the hallway and sees Ashley walking towards her. She takes a deep breath and decides to take the confrontation.
Ashley:
Are you mentally deranged?
Amy:
I only ...
Ashley:
I don´t care about your explanations! From now on, you don´t talk to me! Understood!
Amy nods.
Ashley:
We´re no longer friends! I can´t be friends with a psycho!
Ashley storms up the hallway, as Amy tries her best not to cry.
12. Int. Jay´s Apartment. Evening,
Jay and Ellie are watching "Freddy Got Fingered" and are reacting in different ways. Jay is holding his ears and rocking back and forth on the couch, while Ellie´s eyes are locked on the screen in some sort of morbid fascination.
Tom Green (voice over):
Daddy, would you like some sausage? Daddy, would you like some sausages?
Jay:
Make it stop, Ellie! A movie can´t be meant to be this bad! It just can´t!
Ellie:
It´s like a car crash, that my eyes won´t let me look away from!
Jay:
You owe me big for this, Ellie Nash!
Ellie is barely listening, as she´s lost in how terrible the movie is.
13. Int. Ashley´s Room. Evening.
Ashley comes in with Alex. Things are a little tense between them.
Alex:
We don´t have to do this tonight, if you don´t feel like it.
Ashley:
Did you have anything to do with it?
Alex:
I did indirectly.
Ashley:
How?
Alex looks Ashley in the eyes.
Alex:
Because I told her, that I like you, okay? This whole awakening within me or whatever you want to call it, it´s all because of you!
Ashley:
I don´t know what to say.
Alex:
You don´t have to say anything, just like this doesn´t have to change anything between us!
Ashley:
You like me that way? I´m sorry, it´s taking a moment for me to wrap my head around this!
Alex:
That´s okay. Take all the time you need. At least you haven´t kicked me out, so I´ll take that!
Ashley:
I can´t jump right from one relationship into the next. You understand, don´t you?
Alex:
I do and even if we never become a couple, I´ll still be your friend. So will Amy.
Ashley shakes her head at the situation.
Ashley:
I told her that we weren´t friends anymore.
Alex:
Good! Then maybe she can get through her thick skull, what a horrible thing she did.
Ashley:
Should we forgive her?
Alex:
Amy is like an adorable, but kind of dumb on the world puppy, who would be lost without us! We owe it to the world to take care of her.
Ashley:
I guess we can keep quietly nagging her about it this way.
They look pleased with their plan.
14. Ext. Degrassi. Morning.
Alex is sitting on a bench and reading a book. Ellie and Marco pass by her.
Ellie:
I take back what I said about comedy not needing boundaries.
Marco:
How´s Jay doing?
Ellie:
He kept mumbling about sausages, when I left! That can´t be a good sign, can it?
Marco:
Not him too! Damn you, movie! Damn you!
Marco and Ellie head inside, as Amy comes over to Alex.
Amy:
Hi.
Alex smiles a tiny bit to herself, to Amy´s relief.
Alex:
Hi.
Amy:
Have you heard about this girl Amy, who goes to Degrassi?
Alex:
It rings a bell.
Amy:
She´s done a lot of really dumb things over the years.
Alex:
You don´t say?
Amy:
But she´s really lucky. You know why?
Alex:
Can´t say, I do.
Amy:
She´s lucky because she has this friend named Alex, who´s the best friend, she ever could have asked for.
Alex´s smile becomes a little wider.
Amy:
No matter what kind of dumb stuff this girl has done over the years, Alex has always been there to help her pick up the pieces.
Alex:
She sounds like quite a friend.
Amy:
Oh, she is! So when Amy found out that Alex now likes girls, she tried to put her together with her other best friend Ashley. Unfortunately she did something so dumb, that she now hates herself for it. Especially considering that if someone had done the same to Alex, then she probably would have wanted to hurt them.
Alex puts her book away.
Alex:
If you do anything like this again, so help me ...
Amy:
There´s no chance of that happening! It´s enough to have two girls hating my guts for the rest of their lives!
Alex:
Who´s the other one?
Amy:
You mean?
Alex:
You still have a lot of making up to do, but Ash will be fine.
Amy looks pleased.
Amy:
Are you dating now?
Alex:
Nothing personal, but even if we were, I would tell you!
Amy:
That´s fair enough! So you are or you aren´t?
Alex smiles at her.
CLOSING CREDITS