WHAT IF - SEASON 2 EPISODE 24 - DON´T LET IT GET YOU DOWN
Disclaimer: I don´t own Degrassi or the characters from it.
1. Int. Darcy´s Room. Evening.
Darcy is having a slumber party with Mia, Jane and Chantay. Jane is working on a laptop, while the Darcy and Chantay watch her with excitement. Mia looks like she´s feeling guilty.
Mia:
You guys, I don´t know if we should be doing this. How would we like it, if they invaded our privacy?
Chantay
If they would be more upfront, then we wouldn´t have to do this. They way I see it, they brought this on themselves!
Darcy:
All we´ll probably hear, is the sound of them laughing at their own farts!
Mia looks a little more at ease now.
Jane:
That should do it! Let give it a whirl.
She turns up the volume and we hear boy´s voices coming out of the speakers, those of Danny, Peter and Derek. They hear them laughing.
2. Int. Peter´s Room. Evening.
Peter is having his boys over for an evening of hanging out. He hasn´t noticed a small, black box, that´s underneath his bed.
Peter:
Come on! That can´t be true!
Danny:
It is! I You´ve never seen a kid eat pancakes, like I could!
3. Int. Darcy´s Room. Evening.
The girls giggle.
Jane:
Why doesn´t that surprise me?
Danny (voice over):
I still love pancakes, but I can´t eat them anymore, after Chantay told me, that I´m getting fat.
Mia:
Danny, seriously? The boy is skin and bones!
Chantay:
I say a lot of things! I had no idea, that he would take me seriously!
Darcy:
This is why this is a good thing. Now you can gently let him know, that you didn´t mean anything by it, before he turns into even more of a skeleton!
Peter (voice over):
I still don´t get why you would date an airhead like her.
Chantay looks shocked and hurt.
Derek (voice over):
Me neither. No offense bro, but could you have found anyone more self obsessed?
Chantay:
I´m not self obsessed, am I?
The other three aren´t sure how to reply.
Jane:
Maybe a tiny bit?
Chantay:
I am not!
Darcy:
You do like to talk about yourself a lot, but it´s okay! We still love you!
Mia:
I would have agreed with them, when I first met you. I don´t, now that I know you.
Chantay:
That´s a sweet way of saying that I only care about myself! I really don´t!
Derek (voice over):
We´re not being fair. She does care what happens to the Kardashians!
Peter (voice over):
My mind shuts off, the moment she starts talking celebrity gossip!
Derek (voice over)
How do you do it?
Danny (voice over):
You learn to shut it out and say yes and no at the right times. If I want to get some nookie from her, then I have to take it as part of the deal. It would be great if we could talk about stuff, that actually matters, but I guess I´ll have to wait for my next girlfriend to come along, before I find someone, I can have intelligent conversations with.
Chantay looks very annoyed now.
Chantay:
As if those three Bozo´s are gonna be brain surgeons? Shut it off!
Darcy:
I wanna hear hear more!
Jane:
I have to admit, that I´m getting a kick out of it too!
Mia:
I´m starting to side with Chantay on this one. I don´t want to hear it, if there´s anything that Peter doesn´t like about me.
Danny (voice over):
Don´t get me wrong, she´s alright, but I haven´t scored the jackpot, like you did.
Peter (voice over):
If I could create my dream girl from scratch, then I would still end up with an exact copy of Mia!
Mia smiles widely.
Mia:
Maybe a few seconds more!
Jane:
If any guy said that to me, then I would marry him immediately!
Derek (voice over):
It just sucks about your mom.
Peter (voice over):
I have no idea, why she´s so cold towards Mia. With my dad it was "You found yourself a good one there, kid", from the first time he met her. With my mom, it´s like Mia can´t do anything right. I don´t get it!
Chantay:
Enter the over protective mother in law! The one, who can break up any great relationship, using only the power of the guilt trip!
Mia:
Why doesn´t she like me? I´ve always been nice to her!
Darcy:
Maybe because she´s seen your permanent record?
Jane:
Put yourself in her shoes. She´s probably lived her life on the straight and narrow ...
Chantay:
Softcore porn excluded!
Jane:
And now her son brings home one of the girls, she´s been reading about in the newspapers. You know, one of those who are ruining the fabric of society, or whatever the media wants to call it these days.
Mia:
I´ve never been like that! Not really.
Mia now looks worried too.
Jane:
At least, we´re safe, Darcy!
Danny (voice over):
What do you think about Big Jaw? To me, she´s been a breath of fresh air, since she came to Degrassi.
Derek (voice over):
Super cool. If I could put her personality into my girlfriend´s body, then we would have a winner.
Peter (voice over):
I like her. Not it a way, where I´d want to date her, but she´s always fun to be around.
Danny (voice over):
Do you think, she´s somehow related to Popeye?
They can hear the boys laughing on the other end.
Jane:
Sorry, Darcy. They said, that they love your personality, so that´s something!
The others look at her.
Darcy:
Jane, I´m pretty sure, they were talking about you.
Jane:
It isn´t unnaturally big, is it?
Chantay:
I don´t know what to tell you. It is the biggest one, I´ve seen on a girl.
Mia:
Don´t say that! You´re ... face shaming her!
Jane now looks very self conscious about her appearance.
Darcy:
This was a terrible idea. Let´s shut it off!
Chantay:
You´re just worried, what they´ll say about you!
Darcy:
I am not! Why would they have anything against me?
Danny (voice over):
At least we both got off the Darcy train in time! Whew!
Derek (voice over):
Thank God, you did! She would have had you two ending up fighting to the death for her, Saw style!
Peter (voice over):
Have you met anyone as manipulative as her?
Danny (voice over):
Not even close! The one I pity is her boyfriend. Poor guy.
Derek (voice over):
If there´s any justice in the world, then that guy gets a girl, who´s practically a saint for his next girlfriend!
Now it´s Darcy, who looks hurt.
Darcy:
Can we shut it off?
Jane does and all four girls look like they wish, that they hadn´t listened in now.
OPENING CREDITS
3. Int. Hallway. Morning.
Paige and Marco have been "hi-jacked" on their way to class by Chantay, Mia and Darcy for some advice.
Mia:
You two must have tried everything! We´re in completely new territory.
Paige and Marco smile at each other.
Paige:
We can call in our charitable deed for the day.
Marco:
My mom would love that! Fire away, girls.
Mia:
My mother in law hates me.
Paige:
A classic situation. Mothers in law can be beings from hell, when they want to. It doesn´t make it easier, that she´s our principal.
Marco:
Or does it? Show yourself to be full of school spirit and she could go for it.
Paige:
Do something that´s positive for the school, perhaps?
Mia:
That´s not the worst idea, I´ve heard. I can come up with something positive, that shows school spirit.
Chantay pushes in front of her.
Chantay:
Me next! My boyfriend thinks that I´m a self obsessed airhead, who only cares about gossip!
Marco:
Is he right?
Chantay:
No! Maybe a tiny little, barely existent bit, but I care!
Paige:
Name me one current event, that´s in the news these days.
Marco:
That doesn´t qualify as gossip.
Chantay:
Ehm ...
Chantay tries her best to come up with something, but can´t.
Paige:
Try looking up a news site in stead of Face Range or TWZ, Hon!
Marco:
What´s troubling you, our dear guitar player?
Darcy:
The boys in my class think that I´m a manipulative bitch, apparently!
Marco:
Sorry, but that´s what you get for playing with hearts right and left.
Paige:
You started out well, when you left Craig alone. I´ll give you that! Since then, you´ve been more controlled by your hormones than a woman, who´s nine months pregnant! First one, then the next, while you still had a boyfriend on the side ...
Darcy:
It didn´t seem that bad, when I was doing it. I don´t want them thinking about me that way.
Paige:
Then show them you´re not like that. Open up and show them, that they did mean something to you. They probably felt like you used them as your personal boy toys.
Marco:
Best of luck. We´re class bound.
Paige:
TTFN!
Marco and Paige leave them and they go into planning mode.
4. Int. Computer Lab. Day.
Jane is surfing on one of the school PC´s. She´s surfed her way onto a site from a local plastic surgeon and looks pretty impressed with the pictures. Spinner comes in, looking like he´s in a good mood and comes over to her.
Spinner:
Hello, Janey-O!
Jane:
If that´s a new name you´re trying out, then try again!
Spinner:
I talked to Marco about setting up a rehearsal for tonight.
Jane:
Sounds cool. I´ll ask Darcy, when I see her.
Spinner looks at the screen.
Spinner:
Are you getting a boob job? I wouldn´t waste my money on it, if I were you.
She looks up at him and smiles.
Jane:
Is that your way of telling me, that I´m doing fine in that department?
Spinner gets shy, which she finds adorable.
Spinner:
I don´t really want to think you of that way ...
Jane:
It´s okay, Spin! You´re off the hook. But you would tell me, if you thought there was something physically wrong with me, wouldn´t you?
Spinner:
Like what?
She points at her chin.
Jane:
I know, that I´m not a beauty queen, but I´ve never been this self conscious about it until now. There was some teasing, when I was little, but then my brother would threaten to beat them up and make them apologize.
Spinner sits down next to her and looks her in the eyes.
Spinner:
You´re not ugly, if that´s what you´re afraid of.
Jane:
Be honest. Am I in your top ten, when it comes to the girls here?
Spinner:
There´s so much more to you than looks ...
Jane:
Solely based on looks.
Spinner:
Then you wouldn´t be.
She looks disappointed.
Spinner:
There´s this thing, that I think a lot of girls don´t get. The best way to describe it, is that a girl´s personality can both subtract and add to her total score. Take Heather Sinclair, for example. She´s objectively speaking rather attractive and for looks I´d give her a solid nine.
Jane:
Her? Urgh!
Spinner:
That´s where her personality plays in. For her, I would give her minus a hundred million, which means that the nine in looks doesn´t matter too much, does it?
Jane:
I guess not.
Spinner:
Where as your looks score is a tiny bit lower, but you get plus a million for personality!
He gets a small smile out of her.
Jane:
Don´t you think, that´s a little bit high?
Spinner:
Not when we´re talking about you. See you later.
He gets up and leaves her, but it hasn´t thrown her off from the plastic surgery idea.
Jane (to herself):
Imagine if you could combine the two.
She keeps surfing the site with great interest.
5. Ext. Hallway. Day.
Chantay is with Darcy. They´re about to head into the classroom.
Chantay:
Which one should I lead with? The military coup in Thailand or Google´s proposed purchase of YouTube?
Darcy:
I´d go with the coup. It makes you seem more worldly. Chantay, I hate to say it, but wouldn´t it be better if you found someone, who likes you for who you are?
Chantay:
Who else am I gonna date here? I just have to show Danny that there´s more to this package, than meets the eye.
She heads into the classroom and Darcy follows after her.
6. Int. Classroom. Day.
Danny is sitting next to Derek, when the girls come in and walk over to them.
Derek:
I like the Bears this year. Defense wins championships.
Danny:
With Rex "looks like he´s never played football before" Grossman on QB? Good luck, buddy!
Chantay:
Football talk again? Don´t you boys think, that there´s more important things in the world?
The girls take their places close to them.
Derek:
Like what J-Lo wore to some awards ceremony?
Chantay:
Derek, you disappoint me! I never had you picked, for being that shallow!
Derek:
That´s the kind of stuff, you usually talk about.
Chantay:
Which only proves, that you don´t know anything about me! Me and Darcy were just talking about the military coup in Thailand. Weren´t we, Darcy?
Darcy:
Yeah ... it´s a crazy situation!
Danny:
Can you believe that Thaksin guy got away with it, for as long as he did?
Chantay:
The question I´m asking, is why the king didn´t intervene? Don´t tell me, that he didn´t know! Unless he was in on it all along.
The two boys and Darcy look surprised, but in a pleasant way and she soaks it up.
7. Int. Hallway. Day.
Chantay and Darcy come out of the classroom with the boys.
Danny:
Have fun in home room.
Chantay:
You´re only saying that, because you´ve never had to sit through it! Later!
They wave goodbye to each other and the boys head one way and the girls the other. Darcy looks impressed with Chantay.
Darcy:
That was amazing! How did you memorize all that so fast?
Chantay:
Hello? Stories about stealing and betrayal always make for a fun read! This is totally like something out of a soap opera, only it´s real life.
Darcy:
So, if you can translate it to soap opera terms in your head, then it´s interesting to you?
Chantay:
I never thought of it that way. I guess it is!
Darcy:
Then just wait until we get to the next big election! That´s where it really devolves to soap opera levels!
Chantay:
Tell me more!
Chantay looks very interested, which makes Darcy smile to herself. They make wide eyes at what they see further up the hallway. It´s Mia, who´s dealing out hugs. They come up to her. A niner boy gets a hug from Mia and is one big smile.
Niner Boy:
I´ve never touched a girl, who´s as beautiful as you before! Thanks!
Mia:
Have a nice day.
The boy leaves them and Mia smiles at them. They see her sign. It reads "Having a bad day? How about a hug?".
Darcy:
You´re doing something positive, that´s for sure!
Chantay:
How many have you hugged?
Mia:
Around fifty, I think! People around here could really use one, it seems!
Darcy:
I don´t think that as many would want to, if you´d been a fat and sweaty guy.
Mia:
It´s girls too. One girl´s cat had run away and she needed a shoulder to cry on.
Hatzilakos comes over to them. She sees Mia´s sign and smiles.
Hatzilakos:
That´s a new one!
Mia:
I see so many students walking these hallways every day, looking like they´re lambs walking off to the slaughter. So, I decided to do something about it.
Hatzilakos:
I applaud your initiative, but it´s against our PDA code.
Darcy:
Please, miss Hatzilakos. Let her do it for the rest of this day.
Chantay:
She should be applauded for this selfless act, if you ask me.
Mia:
This is my way of showing, how much I love this school and how committed I am to making it the best, it can be. You can have a hug too, if you want?
Hatzilakos:
That very sweet of you, but I have to pass. I have to admit, that I thought you would be a troublemaker, when you first came here. I´ll be the first to admit, that I was wrong. You can keep hugging people for the rest of this break.
Mia:
Thanks. That´s nice of you.
Hatzilakos:
Why don´t you come over for dinner tonight? It´s time I got to know my son´s girlfriend, since you don´t seem to be going anywhere.
Mia looks pleased.
Mia:
Sounds great! I´ll figure out the details with Peter.
Hatzilakos leaves them. Mia looks delighted and a shy looking freshman girl comes over to them.
Niner Girl:
Are you the girl, who gives out hugs?
Mia:
Yeah, I am. Do you want one?
Niner Girl:
That would be great. My parents had a big fight and I can´t stop thinking about it.
Mia:
It sounds like you need one badly!
The girl nods and gets a big hug from Mia. Mia´s friends look happy for her.
8. Int. Music Room. Day.
Jane comes into the music room. Waiting for her are Marco, Spinner and Milton, a somewhat nerdy looking freshman.
Jane:
Hey, guys. Who´s he?
Spinner:
This is Milton. Say hi to Jane, Milton.
Milton smiles shyly at her and waves. She waves back at him
Milton:
Hi, Jane.
Marco:
Spinner told me, that you were looking into plastic surgery, which is why we brought you here.
He picks up a picture, that they printed out from the internet. It´s of Hillary Swank.
Marco:
Beauty is a weird thing, in that it´s something, we can´t all agree on. I give you exhibit one, Hillary Swank. Spinner?
Spinner:
She looks like an ugly, long haired dude!
Jane can´t help herself from giggling.
Marco:
Milton?
Milton:
She´s a top babe! Are you blind?
Marco puts down the picture and picks up another one. It´s of the girls from the hard rock band The Donna´s.
Spinner:
That´s more like it!
Marco:
What do you say, Milton?
Milton:
I would run the other way as fast as I could, if I saw them coming towards me!
Marco:
You might think that Milton here was randomly selected, but he isn´t. Tell her.
Milton gets a little nervous.
Milton:
You´re like, the hottest girl in the world!
Jane looks flattered.
Jane:
Why do you think, I´m hot?
Milton:
You´re cute, you have great body, your hair always looks great, you´re nice to everyone and it´s feels like you´re approachable ...
Spinner:
You could probably go on for another five minutes, couldn´t you?
Milton:
Easy! I´m not the only freshman guy, who thinks so. There´s plenty of us.
Marco:
Thank you, Milton. You´re excused.
Milton:
If you want to go out on a date ...
Jane:
Maybe if you were a little older.
Milton:
It was worth a shot.
Milton looks to take her rejection fine and leaves the classroom. Jane smiles at the boys.
Jane:
You did all this to teach me a lesson?
Spinner:
We did this to show you, that you´re beautiful in your own way and we´re not the only ones, who can see it.
Marco:
It would be a real shame, if you did anything to change it.
Jane nods in understanding.
9. Int. The Dot. Day.
Darcy, Chantay and Mia are having a little after school hangout time at The Dot, while Jane is busy working. She serves a table and is busy as a bee.
Mia:
I should get home, if I´m gonna change before dinner.
Chantay:
Good luck. I´ll keep my fingers crossed for you.
Mia:
Thanks, but it´s okay. This is who I am and if she doesn´t like me, then it´s her problem.
Darcy:
I can´t see why she wouldn´t. If I have a son someday and he brings home a girl like you, then I will welcome her with open arms!
Chantay:
Be yourself and you´ll do alright.
Mia:
I hope so! Bye, guys!
Mia leaves them and Darcy looks at her watch.
Darcy:
I should leave too. We have rehearsal tonight.
Chantay:
I´ve barely spoken to Jane all day. Is she doing better?
Darcy:
I think so. I don´t know what she´s worried about. If you´re as likable as she is, then it´s bound to draw them in. The ones who only go for looks, aren´t worth your time anyway.
Chantay:
Is it shallow then to admit, that the only reason I said yes to Danny, was because he´s cute?
Darcy smiles at her.
Darcy:
Is that still the only reason, why you´re dating him?
Chantay:
Not now that I know him. He can be the best boyfriend, when he tries.
Darcy:
Only now, it´s gonna be hard work, if you have to keep up with both the gossip and the news.
Chantay:
Not if it´s interesting. It looks like the only one, who didn´t solve her problem, is you.
Darcy:
Mine is one, that you can´t fix in a day. The only way to get them to change their minds, is to lead by example. That´s alright, though. I still have a few years to do so.
She looks determined to do so.
CLOSING CREDITS