WHAT IF? - SEASON 4 EPISODE 16 - WHO WANTS TO LIVE FOREVER?
JUST LIKE THE LAST EPISODE, THIS IS KIND OF A SPECIAL ONE. IT´S ALSO ONE OF THE SADDER EPISODES, SINCE IT DEALS WITH THE DEATH OF A LOVED ONE, JUST SO YOU´RE WARNED. I HOPE YOU´LL ENJOY IT ALL THE SAME.
1. Int. Emma´s Room. Evening.
Emma is sitting on a chair and is about to write a hand written letter. After thinking about it for a few seconds, she decides on how to start it and begins writing.
Emma (voice over):
Hi, dad. I know that this must seem like a weird thing to do, since logic tells me that you´ll never get to read this letter. My step-dad recommended that I tried it, because this past week has gone by in a haze. All can think about is that you´re gone and how sad I am that we never really got to know each other. I find myself wondering all the time what mine and mom´s lives would have been like, if you hadn´t been in that terrible accident, that changed all of our lives forever. Would you and mom have been able to work it out and raised me together? Would you have been a dad, I ran to, whenever something was bothering me and would you have been the kind of dad, who always knew what to say to make things feel right with the world again? Or would you have been something else, a disappointment or someone, I couldn´t connect with on a deeper level? Those are questions, we´ll never know the answers to, because when I finally got to know you, your mind was too far gone to allow you to be a dad for me, like I know you wanted with all of your heart to be. I have this one last chance to tell you who I am and I´m putting this letter in your casket, when we bury you tomorrow. I´m not religious as such, but I´d like to believe right now, that somewhere there is an afterlife, where you´ll get to read it and it´ll make you smile, when you do. Because I did love you, dad, even if I didn´t always know how to show it.
She smiles sadly at the opening, she´s written.
OPENING CREDITS
2. Int. Kitchen. Morning.
Emma is getting ready to start the day with a healthy breakfast, courtesy of step-daddy Snake, who puts a plate on the table in front her with food enough for at least two! Emma looks overwhelmed at the size of it.
Snake:
Too much?
Emma:
Not if you have an army platoon, fresh back from a weekend of exercises, to feed!
Snake:
Sorry, Emma, it´s a dad thing. We´re so desperate to make sure that our kids don´t starve, that we go overboard like this.
Emma:
We could share it?
He nods and goes to get himself a plate. When he comes back, Emma divides it up more or less evenly between them and they get stuck in.
Emma (voice over):
I guess that a good place to start would be the one, who took your place as my dad. Today it´s funny to think back to the time, before him and mom became a couple. It´s almost like it happened in a parallel universe, where he didn´t exist yet. I know that sounds dumb, but it´s true. He really is like a big and sometimes endearingly goofy angel, that was sent to us to make our lives better! When he became sick a few years ago, my life felt like it was ending with his. The day he was declared cancer free was also the day, I allowed myself to live again. From that day forward, I started looking at life as a gift, that you have to enjoy every day, because you never know when it will be your last.
Snake:
We´ll need someone to do a show for your little brother´s fourth birthday. He asked if we could ask you do come up with one.
Emma:
He did?
Snake:
Why is that a surprise? He loves his sister and looks up to her.
Emma can´t help smiling.
Emma:
I don´t know if I´m someone, he should be looking up to.
Snake:
I respectfully disagree.
Emma:
You have to say that, because you´re my dad! If you look at it objectively, I´m a formerly good, but now very average student, that already has one child, who she has no contact with and whose biggest claim to fame is a bunch of dirty jokes and some pervy stories!
Snake:
Do you want to know what I see, when I look at you?
Emma shakes her head.
Snake:
I see a girl, who´s far more intelligent, than she gives herself credit for. A girl, who has a solid sense of morals, that will someday make her an adult, people will want to spend time with. Most of all, I see a girl, who like her mom has a big heart and as long as she keeps following that big heart, I don´t think it´ll steer her wrong.
He gets a smile out of her and it looks to have helped with her self confidence.
Emma:
I´ll talk to my friends and we´ll come up with something. I don´t want to disappoint the little scamp!
Snake looks pleased.
3. Int. Classroom. Day.
Emma is talking to Manny before class starts.
Emma (voice over):
As far as friends go, I don´t think I´ll ever find someone like Manny. We´ve evolved into some kind of symbiosis of the years, where it´s like we´re an old married couple by now, but still only friends. I´d never tell her this, but in all honesty, she´s the only one I could imagine myself spending the rest of my life with, in case things didn´t work out with Sean. Yes dad, I´m bi-sexual, but so far it´s only been when it comes to two girls: Manny and a girl, I kissed at a party last year. Manny is straight as an arrow though and I fully respect that. She´s my best friend and all I want for her, is to have the kind of love and happiness, she deserves for being such an awesome girl and an unbelievably great best friend.
Manny:
I´m sure that it´ll take JT five seconds to come up with something.
Emma:
It should be fun, playing to a bunch of four year old´s.
Manny:
JT will finally meet someone, he´s intellectually superior to.
Emma:
Doesn´t Julia count?
Manny:
Sometimes I wonder, if she hasn´t overtaken him already!
The girls laugh.
Emma (voice over):
Her and my other friend JT hooked up last year, against all odds too. I couldn´t have thought up a better ending for her and as much as she jokes about him, it´s knowing that he gives, as good as he takes. She had a kid, when she was 14 and at that time, it didn´t look like she could sink any lower. She still doesn´t have a lot and neither does he, but they have one another and that´s all they or her daughter needs. I used to worry a lot about her, but these days, she doesn´t give me any reasons to. I´d sure like to keep it that way.
4. Int. Joey and Caitlyn´s Living Room. Day.
Emma, Manny and JT are testing out what´s funny for a four year old on baby Julia, with Angie as their "back-up judge".
Manny:
Knock, knock.
Emma:
Who´s there?
Manny:
Justin.
JT:
Justin who?
Manny:
Justin time for dinner!
They get a good giggle from Angie, but Julia isn´t getting it.
Angie:
You didn´t understand it?
Julia:
Who´s Justin?
They see that they have more work to do.
Emma:
If knock, knock jokes are too intellectual, we´ll have to sink really low!
JT:
Let me try one out, see if it´s more to her liking. Julia, what did one eye say to the other?
Julia:
I dunno.
JT:
Don´t look now, but something between us smells!
Julia giggles to their delight and it gives JT a surge of inspiration. Emma and Manny watch him with a smile, as he goes into all out kid´s entertainer mode.
Emma (voice over):
Is there anyone else like JT in this world? After eight years of knowing him, I´m sincerely starting to doubt it! Where else will you find a guy, who´s a perfect boyfriend for Manny, a great dad to her daughter and a natural born entertainer, all rolled into one? He´s the kind of guy, who everyone that meets him remembers and I have no doubt, that he´s going to be famous, if he makes his goal. I like acting and performing, but for him it´s in his blood. However, like several creative people before him, the strict barriers of school don´t agree with his untamed mind. Usually I would call it a bad idea for someone to drop out, but in his case there´s no use in delaying his real future any longer. The school will miss him a lot more than he will miss it.
5. Int. Hallway. Day.
Emma is walking up to Toby, who´s having trouble opening his locker and looks frustrated.
Emma:
Having trouble?
Toby:
I swear, Em. On the last day of school I´m bringing the biggest hammer I can get my hands on and I´m smashing that lock to pieces!
He kicks the locker in frustrations and to their surprise, it opens.
Emma:
I wasn´t expecting that!
Toby:
Me neither. Must be a glitch in the matrix!
He shrugs and gets the books out, he came for, before closing it again.
Emma:
I need a favor. You still have that doctor´s coat, you bought for Halloween last year, don´t you?
Toby:
I didn´t so much buy it, as it was the costume store refusing to take it back, after it had been doused in cheap white wine! But yes, I still have it.
Emma:
Can I borrow it? It´s for my little brother´s birthday show.
Toby:
Sure. One thing, though. Why haven´t you asked me to be in it?
Emma:
I didn´t think, it would be your thing.
Toby:
It wouldn´t be the first time, we´ve shared a stage.
He smiles at her and she gets a little embarrassed, when thinking back on it.
Emma:
The dreaded mouse play! I owe you an extra thanks in retrospect, for doing that with me!
Toby:
You can make up for it, by letting me be in this one.
Emma:
Are you sure?
Toby:
Yeah! How many more times are the four of us going to get the chance, to do something like this together?
They smile at each other and head off to class.
Emma (voice over):
Since the first day of grade 7, we´ve been four musketeers, who have always stuck together. Me, Manny, JT and Toby. Him and JT are in many ways opposites and where as Toby still hasn´t tried getting below an A in high school, JT has yet to get an A! On the surface, we make for a weird little clique and we´re all very different from the four kids, who started at Degrassi all those years ago. Looking back at it though, those years wouldn´t have been the same, if any of the four elements weren´t there. We lost Liberty, our fifth member, when she moved away over the summer. She´s still here in spirit though, just like our spirits will linger on in the halls of Degrassi, long after we´ve said our goodbyes to it. The place where we grew up and found out who we are as people.
6. Ext. Parking Lot. Evening.
In an almost empty parking lot, a car is being driven by someone, who doesn´t look like they know what they´re doing. The car keeps starting and stopping after only a few feet and we hear the engine go out.
7. Int. Car. Evening.
We see that Emma is getting a driving lesson from Sean, who´s trying his best to be patient with her.
Emma:
Why couldn´t you have bought a car with an automatic transmission, like a normal person would?
Sean:
Because this is the only car, I could afford!
Emma:
Touche!
Sean:
It´s not that hard, once you get the feel for it.
Emma:
Not for you, maybe!
Sean:
The problem is that you´re too twitchy. The clutch isn´t your enemy, Em!
She rolls her eyes, but smiles at him at the same time.
Emma:
I never thought, it was!
Sean:
Turn the key and give it another try.
She does and the engine comes to life.
Sean:
Go through the motions, one step at a time.
Emma:
Press the clutch down, put it in gear ...
Sean:
You just put it in third.
Emma:
Put it in FIRST GEAR ...
She does.
Emma:
Gently press the speeder, while I release the clutch and ...
The car starts moving, slowly, but it´s moving. Emma looks pleased.
Sean:
You´re doing it! Now change it into second gear ...
She does and the transmission makes a sound, that doesn´t sound too good and it makes her worry.
Emma:
What was that?
Sean:
It´s nothing. Concentrate on what you´re doing.
Emma:
Can I try switching to third?
Sean:
Yeah, try it.
She does and the engine stutters to almost a halt.
Emma:
What´s happening?
Sean:
What happens when you have it too high of a gear.
Emma:
I think, I get it now!
She slows the car down to a halt and gets a congratulatory kiss from Sean.
Sean:
I told you, it wasn´t that hard, didn´t I?
Emma:
It wouldn´t have been, if I hadn´t had such a sexy and fantabulous driving instructor!
They smile at each other.
Sean:
Drive around for a bit. See if you can´t avoid annihilating my transmission this time!
She does, as he sits back and relaxes. She´s a little unsure at first still, but she very quickly gets the hang of it and looks proud of herself.
Emma (voice over):
How can I begin to explain, what Sean has become to me? He´s my muse, my soulmate, in short "The One". There´s lots of women, who said the same about their boyfriends, when they were my age and were proven wrong, but in our case, I´m not in any doubt. From the first moment I saw him, when I was a slightly nerdy twelve year old, who had never had a crush before, to now where we know one another more intimately, than we´ve allowed anyone else to know us, there´s never been anyone above him or even close to him. I´m aware that I´m making it sound like a storybook romance and to say that it is would be a lie. We´ve had our issues and have broken up several times over the years, but the unspoken connection we have, has brought us back together every time. It´s a shame, that the real you from before the accident never got the chance to meet him. From what mom and dad have told me about you, the two of you would have easily gotten along.
8. Int. Emma´s Room. Evening.
Emma and Bianca are playing with Emma´s little brother Jack, who´s enjoying being the center of attention, as they help him to try to build the biggest LEGO tower, they can and in all sort of colors.
Bianca:
I used to love playing with LEGO, when I was a kid!
Emma:
Where do you think all these blocks come from? These are all left from my childhood!
Jack:
You were a child too?
Bianca and Emma can´t help smiling at him.
Bianca:
All adults were at some point.
Emma:
You really didn´t know this?
Jack:
It isn´t something, I´ve thought about before. Am I gonna get big boobs like yours then or small ones, like Bianca´s?
The girls laugh and it makes him chuckle too.
Emma:
Boys don´t get boobs, Jack. Does dad have them?
Jack:
I guess not. What do we get then?
Bianca:
We should let your dad explain that to you!
Emma:
All I can tell you, is that you still have a long time, until you have to think about any of that stuff.
Bianca:
In the meantime, you get to enjoy being a kid. That doesn´t sound too bad, does it?
Jack shakes his head and they go back to their "Building Project".
Emma (voice over):
I´ve loved my little brother since before he was born, but it isn´t until I now when he´s learned how to talk more coherently and can understand most of what you say to him, that we´re finally getting to really know each other. I can already tell, that he´s a thinker like me and my mom are and he has that same kindness in his eyes, Snake has. It´s still far too early to tell how he´s going to turn out, but I can guarantee you one thing: It´s not love, that little guy is going to be missing from his life! Bianca is the latest addition to the fam. She came from a life, that compared to mine must have been a living nightmare. It was thanks to her being JT´s half sister, that she got a second chance at life with us. She´s different from me in many ways and I guess that´s only natural given what the poor girl had to suffer through. But I´m happy to say that she´s fighting through her problems and I´m glad to be here to help her. A few days after she moved in, she told me that her only wish for the future is to stay out of jail. I found it sad then and I still do. She could become so much more, if she had faith in herself.
9. Int. Kitchen. Morning.
Snake kisses Spike goodbye and has Jack on his arm. Emma is drinking a cup of tea.
Snake:
We´ll have dinner ready, when you get home.
Spike:
Are you gonna help daddy make dinner, Jack?
Jack nods and it makes them smile.
Snake:
What should we have then?
Jack:
Ice cream!
Emma can´t help laughing.
Spike:
Just ice cream for dinner, nothing else?
Jack shakes his head, but gets an idea.
Jack:
And candy.
Snake:
Although that sounds like a very nutricious dinner, I´ll come up with a back-up plan!
Spike:
Good call!
She gives Jack a goodbye kiss on the forehead.
Spike:
See ya later, champ!
Jack:
Bye, mom! Bye, Emma!
Emma:
Bye, Jack!
They wave goodbye to each other and the males leave Emma and Spike alone.
Spike:
I remember a time, when you were that easy to please!
Emma:
Did I ever ask for ice cream and candy for dinner?
Spike:
No, that was a new one!
Spike sits down across from her.
Spike:
Don´t forget that I´m picking you up right after school, so no going to The Dot today!
Emma:
Mom, you´ve reminded me ten times already!
Spike:
It´s just that you have a tendency to forget appointments, Sweetheart.
Emma:
Is this still about that optometrist appointment I missed in the fourth grade, that I took later and it turned out, I didn´t need and could have skipped in the first place?
Spike:
Was it really that long ago?
Emma:
Eight years, mom! Eight years!
Spike smiles at her.
Spike:
I tend to forget that you´ve grown up since then. I´m sorry, Em, but when you reach my age, time starts flying by incredibly fast.
Emma:
You don´t need to apologize.
Emma smiles back at her.
10. Int. Car. Day.
Spike is driving Emma to her meeting with the publisher.
Spike:
You´re not signing anything, until we have a lawyer look the contract over.
Emma:
What if that scares them off? I don´t want to seem difficult from moment one.
Spike:
It´s a normal request in these situations, Honey. You can trust me on this.
Emma nods in understanding and enjoys the scenery outside, as they drive on.
Emma (voice over):
What would I do without my mom? That´s a question I don´t have the answer to and would rather never find out! She´s my inspiration, my idol, although there´s no way I´d ever tell her to her face, and the one who not only created my body, but also shaped my mind into what it is today. For the first many years of my life, all we had was each other. She didn´t go on a single date for over ten years, because she didn´t want to date anyone, that she didn´t feel was worthy of being my dad. When I think of how much that incredible woman has sacrificed for me, it´s not only humbling, but also makes me want to find a way to return the favor.
11. Int. Snake and Spike´s House. Day.
It´s a wild and rowdy four year birthday party, that´s going on the house today! Jack has around ten guests who are his age over, including Julia, who´s playing with one of his toys. He sees another boy take it away from her and immediately springs to action, taking the toy away from the boy and giving it back to Julia, who looks grateful.
Jack:
There you go, Julia.
Julia:
Thanks, Jack.
They smile at each other, which doesn´t escape the eye of Jack´s older sister or Julia´s mom, who find it adorable.
Manny:
Aww, such a little gentleman!
Emma:
Either that or he´s practicing to become a ladies man!
Manny:
If he is, then he´s getting a good head start! Julia´s completely sold on him.
Emma:
Seeing as he wanted her to come ...
The girls smile at each other, as JT and Toby (in his doctor´s coat) comes over to them.
JT:
What are you two smiling at?
Manny remembers how he reacted to Angie going on a date and decides to lie.
Manny:
Just how cute they all are!
Toby:
Are there more in the future for the two of you?
Manny/JT:
Not yet!
Emma smiles at their simultaneous reaction.
Toby:
We´re almost ready to roll, if you can get the kids under control.
Manny:
We can always try!
They get to work trying to get the kids to sit still.
We get a short montage of their performance, as Emma´s voice over plays.
Emma (voice over):
All in all, I don´t feel like I have much to complain over. My biggest regret was getting pregnant, but one of the best things I´ve done was giving my son to a family, who could take care of him, like I knew that I couldn´t. I still want to have children sometime in the future, but it won´t be until I´m much older and I have my life in order. I understand why it wasn´t easy for you to accept, that mom wanted to raise me on her own, but she did what she had to do for both her and me. Perhaps Jack being a boy will mean that the "Nelson Family Teen Pregnancy Curse" will end with him. If it doesn´t, then we´ll deal with it, like we´ve done in the past: With love, patience and kindness.
12. Int. Funeral Home. Day.
Emma comes into the chapel, that´s empty save for the open coffin. She´s holding an envelope and walks up to it. She sees Shane lying in it, dressed in a suit and looking like he´s found peace in death. Still, she has to fight hard not to cry.
Emma (voice over):
From what they´ve told me, your death was an unfortunate accident, that the guy who shoved you is a mental patient himself and is as torn up as any of us is, over what happened. I´m sure that when he shoved you, he had no idea that it would cost you your life and I feel no ill will towards him. The one I feel it against is myself, for not going to visit you more often, when I had the chance to. For being too freaked out by your condition and not being the best at dealing with it. Most of all, for not giving you a chance to be my dad. It´s too late now and there´s nothing I can do to change it, but I want you to know that I´ll remember you as a sweet and warm soul, who deserved better, than the hand life dealt you. I love you, dad. Yours sincerely, your daughter Emma.
She smiles sadly to herself and puts the envelope in the coffin with him.
Emma:
Bye, dad.
Finally, she can´t hold back the tears anymore.
CLOSING CREDITS