Who I Am - Lightning99

Chapter 9:

Confrontations

"So, what skills can you offer as new employees?" a rotund, bespectacled and stern-eyed man asked from the kitchen of a vendor van, its roof detailed with a picture of a bear Pokémon and some doughnuts. He looked between a clipboard and the trio who stood out on the street, two of which were munching on the glazed and chocolate-covered doughnuts they had just purchased.

"Well, we've got amazing persuasion skills, and we have great experience dealing with other people, which relates to the job because we would naturally have to deal with customers day-to-day. Moreover, our ability to deceive others can be beneficial because we can present that we are experienced salespeople to tempt the customers, to get your Bewear Bakery selling more goods than ever before!" Jessie said through her smirk, leaning forwards at an angle that ghosted around being risqué.

"I-Is that so? You deceive others?" he asked, fidgeting his lingering gaze away from Jessie to his paper. He quickly scraped his pen across it in what looked to James like distracting scribbles rather than purposeful notes.

"Ah… Correct! Ah hah. We've previously worked undercover, you see, required to pretend we are who we aren't." Jessie leaned back, folding her arms as if impressed with her ruse.

"I see. And what about your previous employments made you have to go undercover?"

"I'm afraid we are contracted against detailing that."

While Jessie bargained with the employer, falsifying their applications and experiences to avoid explaining their cult-ish lives devoted to Team Rocket, James and Meowth remained slumped against the red wall of the van, dusting off their doughnut-dirtied hands.

James could not believe Jessie was signing them up for jobs so suddenly, even if they were borderline broke. More than that, though, he was utterly anxious that she was risking the exposure of their true pasts. They had talked in their Poké-Center room about needing more money a few days prior, but he had considered the complications and suggested taking their time to plan. Jessie, of course, ignored him, saw the blackboard propped out front of the van asking for employees five minutes ago, and signed them up.

"Well, all of your IDs seem to be in order."

Apart from their names, they weren't right at all. Then again, the man's eyes weren't exactly on his papers.

"I'm convinced. We need to get more doughnuts selling anyways – heck, the only ones we've sold lately were to a teenager and some of his Pokémon a few days back. If you can do that, you're all good in my book. When can you start?"

"Right now, if that's alright with you, sir," Jessie simpered, and the man nodded like a lackey.

"Of course! Please, go right ahead. I have to go and write up your forms, but you can start right away," the man said, then took off in a sprint, bobbing side to side more than running. He looked a little too pleased to have more employees.

James considered himself an educated man, and he found the boss' easily trusting manner of organising his business quite surprising. Usually, they had to undergo the proper procedure and plan their shifts ahead of time. This man, while excitable, seemed too lax. Alola itself seemed too carefree. It was somewhat unnerving. It couldn't all be so tranquil, could it?

Jessie swivelled on her tall heel.

"See? Easy. Now we've got a small but steady income."

"It's a good start," James said, trying to think positively since their knowledge of the world outside crime, especially the working world, was rather limited. They were indoctrinated into Team Rocket as young adults by Giovanni himself without having experienced jobs to ease them into society. This job would be their start.

"How did we get roped into selling doughnuts?" Meowth asked five minutes later, pulling on an embarrassing cap of a pink and black Pokémon.

"You should be used to it by now," James muttered, although he wanted to do anything else. They were in paradise, after all.

"Clemont! Professor Oak wants everything to be cleaned up around this area so we can fix the lab as early as possible! He says to hurry up!" Bonnie shouted from her seat on a make-shift bench of wooden scaffolding, the type of wood Timburr constantly lugged under their arms.

Professor Oak had ordered such materials only a few days after the incident, taking no time to mourn or grieve like the rest of them. All he seemed to care about was rebuilding his lab.

"I'm the only one doing anything!" Clemont shouted back, gesturing to the whole area. It was full of people wandering and chatting quietly, effortlessly moving pebbles ever-so-often to please Oak whenever he emerged from his shadowed, rubble-littered office. But nobody was working. "Get Serena and Calem to help out! Heck, get anyone to help! They're being so useless!"

Clemont picked up a rock and tossed it at a larger one. Such a childish action was all he was allowed to do to vent.

"They're too busy fussing over each other!"

Bonnie laughed, jumping to her feet and falling to a proposal knee as she often did to embarrass him. This time, much to Clemont's pleasure, she mimicked Serena and Calem, a pair Clemont couldn't convince himself to accept.

"'Oh, Serena, you're hurt. Let me kiss it better.' 'Oh, Calem, you're so kind.' I should go and eavesdrop on them!" Bonnie said, giggling. Then she ran off, unstealthily slinking behind the broken wall of the lab. Laughter indicated her sneaking had failed and that they weren't working.

Clemont had been fed up with everybody's attitudes ever since the incident. Being in their presence was simply annoying, and he even questioned their human morals because they acted relatively normal and in ways one wouldn't expect after such tragic news.

May and Drew were the perfect examples. They cuddled tightly and mumbled condolences when everyone was around and attentive, but they hadn't shown that performance in a scene Clemont had happened upon one night. He had left the lab to get some fresh air to calm his restlessness but had stormed back inside after glimpsing the pair entangled around the side of a tree, grappling their arms and legs and kissing messily, their clothing dangling from their shoulders. He had dunked his face under the shower hose for twenty minutes afterwards to try and cleanse the sight from his eyes. A make-out session definitely didn't correspond with sadness. Grief showed itself differently, so maybe that was their coping mechanism, but Clemont was smarter than that.

He saw others too: Trip was smirking wherever he went, Bonnie, happy as ever, didn't understand the injustice, and everybody seemed to have created a black-market auction for Ash's Pokémon. Trip was pleased to have received Torterra, one of the only ones to resist being given away, and Tracey had easily acquired the Tauros herd. It was sickening.

At the same time, Clemont had to question his own morals, too. He couldn't reason why he was even helping Oak when the man was ruining his life. There were things Clemont wanted to do instead. Two things, specifically: find Brock and apologise to Ash's mother. They were the only two ways he could perceive that would somehow allow redemption.

He wondered then if that attack was Arceus' way of making them pay for their actions.

Clemont stopped working altogether at that point. He looked for Bonnie and saw Serena and Calem sitting beside one another through a gap in a cracked wall, close enough to be in each other's laps, grinning like Gengar at his sister. It made Clemont angrily nauseous. He had realised naïvely late into their journey how infatuated Serena had been with Ash, and he'd thought it was beautiful. How had she moved on as if Ash was nothing? He couldn't understand it. Maybe she'd already forgotten about Ash, too engrossed in Calem as she was. Maybe everybody had.

Clemont knew he couldn't forget.

Honestly, even if they had forgotten him, Clemont didn't care. Besides Bonnie, those people weren't important to him anymore. All he was looking for was a chance to escape from Oak's immobilising influence to visit Ash's house.

But that influence had been the fearful thing that had caused Clemont's internal war to begin with. Oak had connections everywhere, powerful allies he could only fear. It felt like such a wide sphere of power that nobody could escape from it unless they fled to the lost tropics out at sea. By coupling his contacts with blackmail, he guaranteed obedience, especially if the reason was to save the one the victim cared about the most.

Humans are disgusting, Clemont thought but quickly corrected himself, sighing. Ash wasn't.

Maybe if Delia and Brock knew his predicament.

"Hey, Clemont! How're things goin' over here?" Calem asked, swaggering over with a wide grin, his arm tucked pointedly around Serena's slim waist, Bonnie bobbing at their side. Clemont looked him directly in his joyous eyes, glared at his arm, and then sighed.

"Fine," he replied. He didn't care that his attitude and views on the situation were evident. He turned his back, hoping Calem would realise not to continue pestering. He didn't. His other arm slapped Clemont's shoulder, pulling his frailer body around again.

"Listen… I'm really sorry, Clemont. I didn't know Ash, but I'd never wish that on anyone. I can see you're sad about it, so why don't you–"

"You can see I'm sad?! Of course, I'm sad! Why wouldn't I be?! He was my best friend, and the last thing I did was betray him just to please some – some pathetic and selfish man who dedicated weeks to planning and ruining a teenager's life! A man who blackmailed me, who probably blackmailed more of us, into helping with his scheme–"

"Wait a sec, we weren't blackmailed–" Calem tried to argue while simultaneously questioning Bonnie and Serena with his grey eyes. For the first time since Clemont had seen them together, Serena couldn't seem to meet Calem's eye.

"Just stop. Please. Ash is gone. We – We can't change that. I'm going to hate myself forever because of it. And I don't mean to sound as petty a person as Oak, but you can't fill Ash's shoes in our group."

"Clemont–" Serena breathed weakly, desperately.

"No, shut up! You were one of the ones hesitant to betray Ash, yeah, but you don't even realise you'd already done it! He loved you, Serena, more than he'd ever shown! Arceus, you kissed him! And then you return with another guy, some stranger you've only spent about a week or two with! That's probably what hurt Ash the most, more even than whatever killed him!

"Love is such a powerful emotion, but it's like a Double-Edge. It's beautiful, but there's always that risk of being hurt because of it, isn't there? Love causes pain as much as it does happiness!" Clemont shouted. "I won't let youreplace him. Nobody can."

Clemont spun around and walked to the other side of the ranch, leaving the trio standing beside the rubble, calling after him. He didn't care what they thought of him anymore, even Bonnie. He didn't care if Serena was in tears again or if Calem hated him. Maybe he had been a weak, feeble geek in the past, and maybe he still was, but he had lost Ash, and he couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand their disrespecting him either so for that brief moment of heightened emotion, he didn't even care about Oak's connections.

As Ash formed new bonds in Alola, his old ones, as strong in believed death as in life, arrived in Kanto. The plane from Sinnoh to Kanto landed at the dawn of dusk. Barry had raved for the entire flight about how he'd fine Oak and everyone there for a whopping ten million Poké when he saw them. After the first hour, Paul had told him to 'shut the hell up'.

Dawn, Gary, Barry, and Paul exited the airport into Viridian City, wherein an old man sat on a bench sipping an espresso, and the Pokémon had returned to the forests. Everything appeared normal again. They headed beyond the dark tree line towards Pallet Town and immediately found that it wasn't normal.

The forest atmosphere held a cautiousness that Gary had never felt before, and the very air felt ominous. The purple Ratattas were stalking around trees rather than scampering quickly through the long grass. They were watching instead of fighting as if frightened of everything, and the Beedrill hoards were docile, buzzing quietly between the green leaves that seemed to have lost their emerald lustre to a sickly lifeless green. The whole area was disturbingly abnormal.

Garry led the group through a shortcut to Oak's lab that he remembered, and as they clambered out through the brush onto a hill overlooking Pallet, his emotions warred in him. He felt saddened when he saw the ruins and suddenly regretful that he hadn't been there. He succumbed to disbelief, to the wish that it wasn't real, but then anger thrust his consciousness back into reality, for, just to his left, he could see the back of the ranch.

They were all there. Ash's old friends and Pokémon wandered about the ranch like nothing had happened, except Snorlax, who looked asleep beside the pond, and a blonde boy, who seemed to be glaring at the rest of them. Gary wouldn't have been surprised if Snorlax had stayed asleep throughout the attack. He was probably too durable with its mountainous frame to be injured.

Gary scanned the hoard of Ash's ex-friends more thoroughly, realising that they must have agreed to his grandfather's plan. The face that shocked him the most was Misty. Throughout their journey together, she and Ash had become such close friends that he couldn't imagine why she'd agree to the plan. He could see silhouettes in the lab's foyer through a hole in the wall, meaning more people were present than were currently outside. That only made Gary angrier. And then he saw Oak standing in the centre like some sort of oppressor, looking as high-strung as if nothing had happened.

As if Ash was nothing.

Gary vaulted the stile and marched ahead of his small group, his head hanging low, his shoulders swaying. Dawn, Barry, and Paul's confused voices turned to white noise by the angry tempo of his thumping heart that he could feel beat in his ears.

Oak noticed his blatant approach and frowned.

"Gary. You're home–" Oak started in a plain voice that seemed to deem Gary's presence intrusive. But Gary ignored him and lunged forwards, roaring. He put his heart in his hand and punched his grandfather directly in the jaw, knocking him to the ground.

"Gary!" Dawn's voice cried behind him, and Paul barrelled forwards, grabbing Gary before he could advance any further and continue pummelling his grandfather. Gary kicked out, barely missing Oak's head.

"Stop!" Paul shouted into Gary's ear, grunting as he violently tried to struggle free. Barry jumped forward after a moment of shellshock and seized Gary's other flailing arm.

Gary struggled hard, and the pair had to move with almost the Quick Feet ability to dodge his thrashing.

"You traitorous piece of crap!" Gary spat. He thrust an elbow at Barry, who yelped as he barely moved his head in time to dodge it. "How could you?! He was your best pupil! He trusted you more than anyone else!" Gary pushed harder against Paul. "You were all his friends! He did so much for you! You – let go of me, Paul – you – Ekans! All of you!"

Finally breaking free of the tight hold by fortuitously jabbing Paul and Barry's ankles, Gary charged for Oak again. Everybody else was too stunned to stop him.

But Gary never reached the floored professor. A strong force effortlessly and calmly pulled him back by his shirt's collar.

"Let me go–" Gary said in a strangled voice, turning to see his restrainer, who he thought was Paul again. But it wasn't Paul, and who it was was enough to make Gary finally stop.

"D-Dad!"

"Hey, Gary," Blue said, grinning. "Hate to reunite like this, but what the hell is going on?!" he asked, releasing his son.

Gary looked from his father to Oak, seething as he glared the latter down. He flapped the edge of his shirt to straighten the creases and tousled his dishevelled hair.

"They betrayed him, Dad! They told him to give up being a trainer just before he died! Didn't you?! Admit it!" Gary shouted in a more strained and emotional voice than he had ever used.

"What? You mean Ash?" Blue asked, and his tone was already angering, too.

"Yeah!" Gary yelled. His grandfather began to stand up, and he desperately wanted to charge him again, but his dad was a solid blockade, and he easily held him back with a hand against his chest, a hand against his heart.

Blue turned to Samuel. The eldest Oak glared back, almost as if initiating a duel, a quick draw, see who could get their Pokémon out first. Blue dropped his gaze and sighed, folding his arms. He was the bigger person.

"You know, Dad," Blue said, "I only came here to let you know I'm going on a trip to tell someone about Ash–"

"What?!" Oak cried in alarm. It appeared he knew who Blue was talking about.

"–and to ask you to look after Gary while his mother and sister are in the hospital but–"

"What?!" Gary cried this time.

"Yeah, it happened in the attack," Blue said without properly losing his calm. He scanned everyone in turn. Nobody said anything as he did. Then he scanned Ash's Pokémon.

"Ash came home so excited to see everyone. Man, he was basically in heaven! It was great, something I loved to see after… I'd have come right over when I heard the news, but I've been at the hospital for the past few days waiting to see if Yellow and Daisy are ok. But now, having come back to this farse, I wish I hadn't. You messed the hell up, Dad."

Blue brushed a hand through his hair, spiking it upwards a little more. He sighed again.

"I'm leaving on that short trip. When we get back – because there will be two of us– we'll talk about this properly, Dad. Gary, could ya stick around? Take care of your mother and sister?

"Of course!" Gary said firmly, a feeling of duty falling upon him, for this was the first thing his father had asked of him in so long. He couldn't wait to sit down and have a real heart-to-heart.

"And don't let your grandfather leave Pallet," Blue added.

Gary glared at his grandfather.

"My pleasure."

Samuel retreated a few steps, huffed, then spun around, his lab-coat sweeping, and stomped back into the lab, followed by his obedient cohort. The only one that remained outside was the blonde boy that had been glaring at the others earlier. He stood tensely still, his jumpsuit patched with mud and dust. Gary stared him down with surprise rather than anger, almost admiring his gall to stand there, in front of him.

"I'm sorry," he muttered before running off into what was once Pallet Town. When he was gone, the five of them stood silently in amongst the dissipating anger.

"Phew," Blue whistled, "nice punch."

Gary, as his grandfather had called him, did the same thing to Clemont that Brock had; he made him feel significantly worse about what he had done. He hoped meeting up with Brock and Delia would do the opposite. Thankfully, Gary's interruption had allowed him to escape, for Oak hadn't even looked for him.

Clemont recalled some directions Ash had given him when they'd discussed visiting Pallet one time and easily found the white-walled house that Ash had so fondly described. It was one of the only buildings left standing in the flattened town.

Clemont stood at the door with sweaty palms, rehearsing different ways to apologise in his head before he could muster the courage to knock and face the undeniable wrath that he so deserved from either Brock or Delia. He decided he would have to apologise directly, outright, beg if he had to, any way to let them hear his story, his version of events. They had to know.

Clemont put his shaky hand to the door and knocked with three quick clacks. Footsteps thundered on the other side, and the door swung open. Brock appeared behind it, his expression quickly souring.

"What do you want?" Brock demanded, squinting fiercely, moving into the door frame to block it like an unmoveable rock wall.

"I'm sorry!" Clemont shouted, bowing his head as low as he could. "I'm a coward, a complete fool! I'm a terrible person! What I did to Ash is unforgivable, and I can't do anything to make up for it! I'm sorry! I don't expect forgiveness. I only want a chance to explain my side of the story to you!" Clemont said in a rushed jumble of words. The tears came immediately, and admitting his inadequacies only worsened them.

"W-What?" Brock asked, his cracking voice betraying his hardened eyes.

"Who is it, Brock?" Delia asked, walking up behind his shoulder.

Clemont flung himself upright, catching Delia's eyes for the first time in person. She was a beautiful woman, he thought. She had the same eyes as Ash.

"Mrs Ketchum…" Clemont whispered, his voice feeble and quiet.

"Clemont," Delia muttered back in a perfect motherly tone, the kind of sympathetic voice used when doting a child. It didn't help Clemont's emotions at all.

"He was with the group that betrayed Ash," Brock said, but Delia didn't seem to care. She gently moved Brock aside and wrapped her arms around Clemont in a tight hug. Clemont didn't respond. It had been a long time since he felt such a hearty hug. He couldn't help feeling he was in his own mother's arms.

After Delia released him, she guided him into the comfort of Ash's house, into the living room and down onto the settee. Clemont numbly let her and accepted some tissues that she offered him.

"Thank you," he said, his voice still meek.

"That's alright," Delia said. She adjusted her dress and sat down opposite. Brock sat beside her, impatiently beating his foot against the ground.

Clemont didn't blame his distrust. He would have been just as annoyed if somebody that had betrayed his best friend appeared before him begging for a chance. He was only thankful Delia was so benevolent, so full of ambiguity.

"Clemont, can I ask you why you've come over?" Delia asked.

Clemont nodded, wiping his eyes quickly.

"Yes, sorry. I'm really sorry, Mrs Ketchum. I failed Ash. I couldn't stand up to Oak."

"What do you mean?" Brock asked carefully. His tone had fallen to a calmer beat. Clemont appreciated it.

"I'm sorry. I could've stuck up for Ash when they… But I didn't do it. I couldn't. Oak's influence… You don't know how truly terrifying he can be," Clemont said.

"What do you mean, Clemont?" Delia repeated for Brock. "Take a deep breath and tell us what happened."

"O-Ok," Clemont muttered, doing as she said. Then, he shakily explained his story.

"B-Bonnie and I received a call from Professor Oak just before Ash left Kalos, a-and he said he was going to throw a surprise party for Ash. Of course, we wanted to be a part of that, so we agreed and flew over before Ash, thinking we were two weeks, maybe a week-and-a-half ahead of him. Nobody knew he was leaving early – we thought he was taking some time off to explore a little more on his own. We arrived in Kanto and went to Oak's lab. When we got there, all of Ash's friends were there, and they all looked pleased with themselves. We met Serena, who – who apparently found a boyfriend in a week over in Hoenn. She told me the second day we were there."

Delia gasped, clasping her hand over her mouth.

"No… And Ash had just told me about his feelings for her."

"I-I was just as shocked. The same day we arrived, Oak approached us all and told us his plan: to make Ash stop being a Pokémon trainer. Not many people agreed, but most were undecided because of his convincing pitch about it being for Ash's benefit. Only a few of us outright disagreed. Serena and I were two of them. I think another of them was called Misty, and lastly, there was someone named Ritchie. With only the four of us, we were overwhelmed. I wanted to leave. Later that night, Oak talked to those of us that disagreed separately. He-He said that if I didn't go along with his plan, he'd hurt Bonnie, my sister," Clemont said.

Delia gasped again, and Brock drew a sharp breath.

"That little–" Brock began, but Delia placed a hand on his knee, and he calmed down.

"He threatened your little sister?" Delia asked.

"Yes. I didn't think anything of it at first. I thought he was the renowned Professor Oak and that that meant he wouldn't do anything. I planned to ignore it, leave with Bonnie, and then contact Ash to let him know about the plan. But then he talked with Ritchie. Ritchie left the room shouting at Oak in disagreement, and then he was sent to the hospital an hour later with severe injuries. When I woke up the next morning, Bonnie was trying to patch herself up because she had somehow gotten a large cut on her shoulder overnight."

"He didn't!" Brock yelled, jumping to his feet.

Clemont shrugged.

"I couldn't think of anything else to do. I had to follow Oak's orders, or Bonnie might have gotten hurt." Clemont dropped his head into his hands, and the tears started again. "I'm sorry. I know that doesn't excuse what happened, but I–"

Clemont stopped talking when he felt somebody grab him in a tight hug. He expected it to be Delia, but the strength of the muscles wrapping around him did not match her appearance at all. It was Brock.

"No! Don't say that, Clemont! You did the right thing, no matter how hard it was!" Brock said, pushing Clemont to arm's length. He kept his hands firmly planted on his shoulders. "I have many siblings, and I can see why you did what you did. I get it, so don't apologise. I was as close to Ash as I am to my true siblings, so I know how heart-wrenching a decision it must have been. Please don't apologise!" Brock said.

For the first time since coming to Kanto, Clemont felt himself relax. The relief of knowing they wouldn't blame him, even after what he had done, was more comforting than Brock's hands on his shoulders.

Delia remained quiet on the settee, watching them.

"Don't worry, Clemont," Brock said, wiping his eyes, "we will get your sister out of there."