Who I Am - Lightning99

Chapter 32:

Oak's Trial

Professor Samuel Oak's trial had only been a short week away when he had been alerted to its approach, yet the period leading up to it had felt equally fast and slow. Ash's days of rigorous training and battling, and tussling with the complexity of Litten's psyche had whizzed by, and yet it had progressed slowly, too, each day providing another single tweak to the screw of his apprehension, slowly tightening it. Thursday morning, the morn of Oak's unpredictable trial, Ash's heart was unyieldingly fastened in a state of restlessness.

Ash was nervous and anxious towards seeing Oak for the first time since the whole chaotic ordeal. Towards that, and his mother's news that nipped at the recesses of his overactive mind as he attempted to predict an outcome to the trial; every hypothesis he created was unrealistic and radical, such as Oak turning on the judge like some rabid Houndoom. Ash's imagination was unlimited, a trait that usually helped in battling and training, but in such a distressing situation, when his emotions were mercurial, it didn't help. He couldn't predict how he would react to the trial. And that worried him.

It was almost mid-day, and he, Dawn, Brock, Clemont, Hau, and Lillie, and the ex-Rocket trio were onboard Kukui's rustic boat, heading to the dock of Hau'oli City on Melemele Island. It was in sight, meaning the time was nearing. Ash felt another twist of anxiousness. He tried not to unveil his emotions by watching the white arrow-shaped trail left by the boat, but everyone could probably see his state. Or sense it, given his unusual quiet, even as they made small talk.

"I've been here for about a week. I've really enjoyed spending the time on the beach and looking around and everything, but I feel like I want to involve myself in something more…" Dawn explained to Hau and Lillie.

"What sorta thing?" Hau asked.

"Well, you and Ash are taking on the Island Challenge, and Kiawe, Mallow, Lana, and… Sophocles? They're training as those Trial Captains, that's why they're not here… I don't know. I feel like I want to do something, too."

"I-I get what you mean," Lillie said, who was carrying her new egg in her arms – inside the container, of course. That morning, everyone had been overjoyed to discover Lillie technically had her own Pokémon. Everyone's joy for her seemed to brighten Lillie's mood, too, and for some reason, seeing Lillie smile in such a real manner had made Ash smile too. "I feel like I haven't been doing anything productive lately."

"I'm the same," Brock said. "I want to stay out here for a while longer, so I may have to see if I can find some sort of doctoring work to keep me busy. Although, going out to catch some more Pokémon doesn't sound bad either."

Ash remained on the edge of the conversation for once, keeping attentive to it but uninvolved.

When they docked on Melemele, the group headed to the white and blue Police Station, emblazoned by a golden star above the canopied door.

Whence outside, they were met with Jessie and James' new commanding officer – not Officer Jenny – who explained that only Ash was allowed in alongside Jessie and James themselves, and Meowth. Everyone clustered around him to give their support, some patting his shoulders, all providing words clearly meant as encouragement and reassurance. In the meantime, they decided to get some Malasadas – a spiteful move, Ash humorously thought, because he desperately wanted a Malasada too. He was quite hungry; his breakfast that morning had gone relatively untouched, a phenomenon Brock and Dawn hailed as a miracle blessed by Jirachi. He appreciated the gesture because it was all to lighten his mood.

The interior of the police station reeked of coffee – emanating from the mugs stationed dutifully atop slightly worn wooden desks – intertwined with the blended scent of musky files that poked out of ajar drawers and ink. It was cold within, but it wasn't because of the temperature. Rather, the weighty atmosphere enforced by the serious, lawful nature of the building seemed to emit a certain chill.

Sitting in the waiting room alone was excruciating for Ash. Without his friends' distracting conversation as background noise, only the repetitive buzzing of an overworked computer and the hushed, drab muttering of some officers – conversations he didn't want to eavesdrop on – all he could do was think.

The longer Ash waited, the more the realisation that he was moments from confronting the benefactor of his suffering, albeit over a video call, performed a Leech Life on his confidence and resolve. The nervousness he felt seemed to amplify tenfold per second that crept by. Dashing out of the doors sounded like a suitable solution, a blissful relief, but Ash remained still, rigidly so. He had to do this. Thus far, he had confronted everything else about the ordeal – Serena via Poké-Vision, Clemont's arrival, the dreams, the memories – and there was nothing different this time. Moreover, by facing Oak and witnessing any retribution, there was the possibility that justice would prevail, that everything would finally be put behind him. By doing it, he could finally move on. He had to take part, if only for clarity.

One other thing on his mind, however, was his talk with Samson the night before. He had explained how Oak's trial was going ahead, and that Samson should attend, but all Samson had said was 'Is that so?' and wandered off. It was a mystery.

"Ash, we're ready," Jessie announced stoically, ten tedious minutes later.

Ash followed Jessie along a hallway and into the room at the end. The room was set up like any other office with the addition of a large monitor placed on the wall to his right and a couple of chairs situated opposite. They looked somewhat out of place in the building given its brick flooring and wooden décor. It was clearly a make-shift set-up.

"Alright, Ash. This situation is slightly unusual, but what we're going to do is connect you to the courtroom monitor just as the case is about to begin. From there, just remain quiet until you are spoken to," Officer Jenny explained, gesturing him to the centre seat.

"Got it. Thank you," Ash said. His voice wavered, a manifestation of his inner turmoil. He couldn't imagine a time he had been so nervous before. Not when he was battling in his first Pokémon battle nor against Alain in the Pokémon League, not even when Serena had kissed him. It was the first time he had felt such discomfort.

James patted his shoulder. "You'll be fine, Ash."

"Heh, ain't that the truth!" Meowth added.

"Thanks," Ash said, and he took his seat.

A few more minutes of waiting followed. Ash could feel the tension in the room as if it were a tangible entity sitting alongside him. An enemy. He tried to keep himself composed, taking deep breaths every few moments, stretching his arms and rolling his neck.

"Here we go," Officer Jenny said, and Ash sat up straighter than a motionless Sudowoodo. He had felt awful yet kept relatively calm thus far, but when the screen blipped on and the court room's wooden décor came into view, every ounce of his composure fled his body and his heart kicked into overdrive – he physically felt each beat, though it made him feel somewhat hollow.

Through the television, Ash could see the whole courtroom: the wooden panelled walls, the Judge, the lawyers, the audience at the back of the room. In the audience, he recognised a few familiar faces: Lance, the current Champion of Kanto, Professor Elm, Professor Rowan, Blue – who looked incredibly uncomfortable – and his mother. His mother was emotionally watching him. Only him. Her shoulders were drawn in, one hand placed near her heart. Ash was comforted by the sight, somewhat calmed too, as if Delia's spectral form was hugging him around the shoulders at that very moment, whispering soothing words to him. Mothers had the calming presence, that ability to soothe even the most troubled soul. Suddenly, out of nowhere, and for the first time in a while, Ash wished his father were present, too.

Then, Ash saw Samuel Oak sat at the front of the room, whose attention was also focused solely on him. His mother's comforting aura vanished, usurped by a sudden recollection. Seeing Oak made everything return at once: arriving home as joyous – and unknowing – as Bonnie, stumbling onto that suspicious scene, having everyone berate him, and… having Serena admit their kiss meant nothing. Re-absorbing the events that had killed his personality and happiness for a short while felt like he received a direct Sacred Sword to the heart. It hurt, but now it was tolerable. Ash knew he had people he could trust, new, true friends, and older ones that were loyal. He didn't feel alone this time. That's why, despite the instinctive desire to run, Ash remained seated.

The Judge began speaking.

Red entered the courthouse earlier than most people that morning, stealthy as a spy. When he arrived the only other person present in the echoey courtroom was Lance. Thus far, Delia had done all of the communicating with the Kanto Champion leading to that day, and she hadn't explained much of the bizarre situation. That had made Red feel bad. Lance was the Champion, after all. He deserved to know the truth behind the goings-on with Oak.

So, Delia had set up a meeting that morning. Before the trial began, Red explained a shortened version of the truth because of time constraints via a notepad, similar to his prior conversation with Oak. Besides acting shocked at discovering Red was alive, Lance had absorbed the information professionally. He understood and even recommended cancelling the trial. But Red didn't want that. And Lance accepted that. Before he headed off to his seat in the audience, Lance asked Red to do all he could to figure out the identity of those mysterious people. That, he was already keen to do.

Red remained out of sight as the Judge, lawyers, and spectators began arriving because he knew some people would recognise him – such as Mr Pokémon, one of his and Oak's good friends sat in the front row – and because he didn't know who could be there. What mysterious people could be there. He was being cautious.

Currently, the setting up of the call to Alola, to Ash, was underway. Hidden in the corridor in which the Judge entered from Red was contemplating the whole affair. He didn't know whether or not to call the whole situation a farce. After all, he knew the truth, and he suspected how Oak would act. Given the stature of the lawyers in his entourage, he gathered Oak would put up a fight against being locked up. Of course, he would. He had done everything to protect Ash, after all. He couldn't back down now. All Red was wondering was how Oak was to wriggle free of the rope he and Delia had unknowingly, regretfully, trapped him in.

"Ok, I think we are all set up here," a voice said, stealing Red's attention. The room quietened down; Red could see the Judge's hand in the air.

"We shall begin momentarily," the Judge said. "First, however, I must address a certain matter. The monitor has been set up to contact the victim of the case, by our request. Due to the falsified publication and belief of the supposed victim's death, and our late discovery of the true matter at hand, we must confirm their status. Court Clerk if you'd please."

A button was pressed, and the ringing of a call ensued. It only rang twice before the call connected. The large screen fleetingly flickered and a collective gasp, followed by loud mumbles filled the room as the picture of a very much alive Ash Ketchum appeared on the screen. Red assumed, at least; he couldn't see much by the angle at which he stood, but Delia's emotional expression told him everything he needed to know.

But Delia wasn't the one that got Red's attention the most. It was Professor Oak. He was crying. The moment the screen had turned on, Red spotted the man's stoic expression falter and tears brim the underneath of his eyes. Red supposed it was only natural. He hadn't seen Ash in so long, and with the knowledge of how much he had hurt him, someone he cared so much for… Red imagined he felt terrible.

Strangely, the way Oak carried himself as he cried made Red feel alarmed. The way the lawyers looked surprised did, too.

"Mr Ketchum, can you hear me?" The Judge asked.

"Yes," Ash answered. There was a little whisper off-screen. "Y-Yes, your honour," Ash amended.

"Alright," the Judge said, and turned to the room. "Order in the court."

Promptly, the whispering concerning Ash's status ceased. But all of the attention remained on him.

"Is everybody present?" the Judge asked, followed by confirmation from each party. "Alright. We shall begin."

Everybody swore an oath to Arceus, and the trial got underway. First, everyone was forced to listen to the charges against Oak. It sounded awful in such a long list: blackmail, career sabotage, illegal distribution of Pokémon, assault via bodily harm… Red could never imagine the gentle Professor committing any such crimes. But some of it was true. Red should have been internally conflicted since Oak had acted unlawfully to save his son, but he didn't class his acts as illegal no matter how much he should have. The matter of career sabotage was why Red didn't request somebody like Clemont or Serena to join. Even if they had been blackmailed and hypnotised, he couldn't put them through a trial.

The first ones up to speak, as per the procedure, were the prosecutors. They raised the falsification of Ash's death as proof that Oak was covering his tracks, where actually, it had been to protect Ash. They spoke of how Ash's Pokémon were in fact in the possession of some of his old friends, likely against their will. They spoke about Ritchie, who was still hospitalised. Red knew the mysterious people did it. It was hard, sitting through everything, listening to Oak be criminalised for his self-sacrifice. But what was even harder was hearing Ash speaking on the matter when he was asked for testimony as a witness and the victim. It only occurred to him, at that moment, that they should have told Ash the truth beforehand.

"I… can't say much for the giving away of my Pokémon, but it was clear that Mr Oak tried to sabotage my career as a Pokémon Trainer," Ash spoke stiffly, having been asked for any further evidence.

"And do you know the reason for this?"

"I… I believe it is because he wanted to use me as a subject for research," Ash explained, and Red cursed himself even further. If Ash knew the truth, he really could have helped them out. They had to tell him immediately after the trial.

"Thank you. Are there any further witnesses?"

"Indeed, there are. Mr Ketchum, could you ask your companions forwards?"

Red watched as Ash looked off-screen. A second later, Jessie and James sat down on the seats either side of him, looking incredibly nervous. Another gasp filled the room as they were asked for their full names, probably people recognising them from wanted posters. Lance, however, quelled the chatter by stating he asked for them himself. Following the commotion, Jessie and James repeated everything Red already knew.

"We were on our way to greet Ash after his journey through Kalos when we spotted Professor Oak cornering Ash and berating him. He even withheld his Pokémon from him when Ash asked to have them so he could leave. Due to the following attack on Pallet Town, we were unable to see anything more," James replied quite expertly after Jessie had rather roguishly said they saw Oak confronting Ash.

"Thank you."

Having heard two convincing witness testimonies, and as the judge motioned for the defence to state their argument, Red felt awful for Oak. They should be protecting him, not worsening the situation. He shook his head; there was nothing they could do about it, so he focussed on the defence's argument. However, what he saw when he looked to their area made him freeze. It was Oak who was stood up, tears still dripping from his eyes.

"Mr Oak, please be seated," the Judge said calmly.

"Oak sit down!" the lawyers were hissing, pulling on his clothes.

But Oak ignored everyone and said one thing that made the rest of the proceedings feel like a complete blur to Red.

"I would like to change my plea to guilty. I am guilty of the aforementioned crimes."

Right away, the room descended into chaos. It took the Judge five minutes to calm it down. Red, however, hadn't shouted nor made a single noise. As the Judge confirmed the change of plea and began collating the information to issue a sentence, he merely attempted to comprehend where the change of heart had come from. The most likely scenario was that he hadn't wanted to plead 'not guilty' in the first place but had been persuaded to do so. But what had made him change his mind?

The answer came to him almost immediately. It was seeing Ash that must have done it. It was seeing Ash again that had made him make another self-sacrificing choice. It was all because of Ash that Oak did everything.

The trial ended an hour after Oak's sudden reversal, with a sentence given for his jailing. By the second hour, a news article rumouring Oak's arrest had already blown up the internet, garnering more comments of people being shocked and devastated fans than necessary. Luckily, it wasn't leaked that Ash was alive. Oak's sacrifice wasn't for nothing.

Now, though, after he contemplated Oak for a while, the only concern filling Red's mind was finally giving Ash the truth he deserved. And that was exactly what Delia was currently doing.

"Hi, Mum," Red heard from around the corner of a wall he hid behind. It was Ash. "What in Arceus' name happened earlier?"

"I…I think you might understand a bit better after you hear me out. But be prepared. It is a lot to take in."

"Ok. What do you need to tell me?"

And Delia began explaining everything.

Ash's world had already fallen apart once: a month ago when everyone had decided that he wasn't good enough to carry on his dream. When those he trusted most and proudly called his friends made him feel like the weakest Weedle of a nest. When everything he believed was proved false. But he was recovering. He had met new people and come to terms with the fact that it had happened. He had accepted it.

But now, following the long-awaited conversation with his mother about her essential revelation, Ash's freshly constructed world had fallen apart again. He relived the feelings of that hurtful night. Once more, everything he had accepted had been false: Professor Oak hadn't wanted to use him as a lab rat nor had he hurt Bonnie or Ritchie; a number of his beloved friends and Pokémon hadn't thought he was useless but had been forced to act as such; and Serena… Serena wasn't in love with Calem.

Much like his world and beliefs, and the reality he had scrambled to accept, Ash's emotions had shattered into fragments, and his current state was the remains, laid out on a foundation of new truths. Professor Oak had committed his unlawful actions, everything, including blackmail and hypnosis, to save him rather than hurt him. His friends and Pokémon had mostly been subjugated to Oak's blackmail and further intimidated by a separate party. They had been used. Serena… Serena had been hypnotised into believing she loved Calem. She didn't love him. She, too, had been used. And every convoluted action had been in an effort to save him. Before the court case, Ash had thought his old situation had been difficult to absorb, but this new bombardment of contradictory revelations was a whole new level of impossibility.

After the trial, Ash had been shaky from the tension of it and perplexed as to why Oak so readily confessed. But after receiving the information from his mother, Ash had left the police station in oblivion. He vaguely recalled spotting his friends and smelling the freshly baked whiff of Malasadas, then hearing muffled words. Everything else was a blur. What he did know was that he ignored them completely. Instead, he wandered down the street without a destination. He entered an endless maze in his mind instead, trying to comprehend everything, at least something.

He had regained a semi-consciousness at the border of Hau'oli City, only for a moment to decide where to go. Recalling how Lillie mentioned using the place as a hide-away whenever she had to think, Ash headed for Kāla'e Bay. He desperately needed to think in peace.

That was where he sat now, beneath the palm tree of the bay, his hand massaging Pikachu's head, mulling over everything in the aftermath as he watched one single Bagon repeatedly leap from the clifftop. He was thinking hard about it all, slowly reattaching the fragments of the real story. Trying to fix himself.

After an entire afternoon alone – the sun was already beginning to set – Ash had come to terms with Professor Oak's plot. The real one, in which Oak endeavoured to save him from whomever it was that was after him. He had accepted that, and also how necessary Oak's outlandish-seeming actions truly were. Ash knew he was probably the only who would realise just how right Oak had been: if Oak hadn't acted as he had, there was no chance, not even in the Mirror World in Reflection Cave, that he'd give up being a Pokémon Trainer.

While Ash now understood everything, more questions were raised, too. Why had Oak accepted his jail sentence so readily if he aimed to save him? Who was after him? He had tried to think of who the mysterious people could be for a short while. The only connection he could make to mysterious individuals was the people from Jessie and James' story, and that was his only conclusion. But there couldn't possibly be a connection there.

Could there…? Ash wondered.

In terms of his friends and their actions in response to the blackmail, Ash was conflicted. With Misty, May, and Drew he was certain that he could forgive them because they had acted to save him, too. Recalling his brief hateful actions towards them made him berate himself, but he was sure they could make up. Bonnie was undoubtedly in the clear; she was only a young girl. The others… he didn't know how to respond. He kept thinking that, if he were in their shoes, if he had been blackmailed and threatened, he wouldn't have succumbed to it. Despite his reputation being ruined, he would have stuck with his friends through even the Distortion World and back. They hadn't. He didn't know if he was being pedantic, but… he had been hurt. Terribly, and stitches were only so strong.

Then there were those that had acted on their true feelings that day… They were more fortuitous acquaintances, but for them, he didn't think he could muster much benevolence.

Finally, there was Serena, the girl that had once been rooted in his head firmer than a Tangela's Ingrain, and the cause of his boundless happiness. She had since become a symbol of pain and sadness because of her words. Ash had loved her, and that had caused her to hurt him the most. But none of it had been true. It had all been a lie imposed by hypnosis. Her words weren't her true feelings; her true feelings were something else entirely. Maybe she loved him. Maybe there was the possibility that their kiss had truly meant more. But Ash didn't think either alternative held a high probability, not with someone like him. He didn't know when he started thinking that.

Ash was certain he could forgive Serena. No, he would forgive her. He had. It wasn't her fault she had been hypnotised. Even if it hadn't been hypnosis he probably would have – he still loved her too much. He just wanted to go back to the way they were beforehand, just as he wanted to with everyone else.

Except… Ash didn't feel he and Serena could ever be the same as before. He should have felt happy to discover that Serena had been hypnotised the whole time and that she meant none of what she said, elated, in love again. But… Ash felt none of that. All he felt was hollow. Imagining Serena's bright smile wasn't enough to rouse his mood; thinking of their kiss didn't make him feel blissful or like he had the Levitate ability. It was just hollow. Empty. Emotionless. Ash still loved Serena. She was his first love, after all. He knew he always would. But the love he now held for her was no longer yearning. It was a love situated in the past, in his memory. A love that had been tarnished by the ordeal. It was broken, fractured. They were broken. He was broken. His heart was broken.

Their relationship could never be the same again.

That thought was far too painful to bear. For the first time in a little while, Ash tilted his head down and cried. Suddenly, he didn't feel hollow anymore. He was hurt. The realisation that his first love had been so ruthlessly decimated, even accidentally, was agonising as if his heart had been slashed clean in two. The love he still held for her was agonising. It was all agonising. The whole situation was agonising. Ash realised he hadn't yet come to terms with any of it.

A little while later, Ash suddenly heard a voice. "I…I thought I might find you here."

Forgetting about his telling tears, Ash lifted his head quickly. Lillie stood a few paces away, and Ash's whole chest squeezed blissfully – his heart stopped; his breath disappeared – when his eyes found her, her pretty face and slim figure. The moon had risen now. Only a little bit, but it was enough to make Lillie look like an angel; her snowy skin seemed to glow the colour of the moonlight, and her beautiful long blonde hair shone like a halo amidst the darkening night. Lillie's emerald eyes, soft and full of concern, sparkled like a silent lake, and her careful, shy smile made Ash's head go blank and warmth permeated his chest. Lillie looked beautiful; Ash was mesmerised.

Why, at that moment, Lillie looked so heavenly, Ash didn't know. He knew she was beautiful; he had been around her for a month now, and it was obvious to see. He even found her adorable. But why then, of all times, did she look even more stunning?

"Y-You found me," Ash stuttered for once, having to lightly shake his head to clear his admiring stupor.

"Are you alright, Ash? Everyone is worried…" Lillie asked, elegantly walking closer. She stopped a few steps away, a gasp leaving her lips. She was quickly sitting beside him. "W-Were you crying, Ash?"

"Ah… Yeah…" Ash muttered, remembering, wiping his face with his forearms. "Yeah, only a little. It's not a big deal. I've just had a hard time dealing with this whole situation today. Plus, my Mum told me a bunch of new stuff that just makes everything even more complicated."

"D-Do you want to talk about it?"

"I… That might help…" Ash said, taking a deep breath. "Apparently, everything that happened – that I believed to be people betraying me – was actually a plan to save me."

"R-Really?" Lillie asked.

"Yep! Can you believe that?"

"I… No…"

"I… needed some time to myself to figure things out. But… thank you for caring, Lillie, and for coming to find me, too. It really means a lot. How'd you know I was here?"

"I-It's ok, Ash. It seemed like you wanted some time alone after leaving the police station, and I believe I said I came here for similar reasons when I showed you this bay."

"Yeah, that's why I came here actually. It's really peaceful, and it… gave me a good amount of time to think," Ash said. He sat back, propping himself upright by placing his hands out behind him and looked up at the sky.

"A-Are you doing ok, now? Did you come to terms with everything?"

"No. Not entirely," Ash said, amending his first answer so not to make Lillie worry too much. "But it takes time. I'll get there."

"…How are you so strong, Ash?" Lillie suddenly asked after a brief pause.

"Huh? I'm… not strong," Ash answered.

"But you are!" Lillie said passionately, her voice rising uncharacteristically. So much so, it made Ash look down at her again. "You've been through so much, yet you're still smiling when you're talking to me right now and you've accepted that you haven't yet come to terms with it! You aren't in denial, and you aren't panicking! After hearing bad results from Professor Burnet yesterday, I panicked, and I didn't feel like I could smile at all, not until you saved me by offering me the Pokémon Egg! You've fought through this entire situation on your own for so long… That, to me, makes you strong…" Lillie trailed off at the end, her voice losing its passionate vigour.

"I… haven't been alone. I've had all of you to help me through it. I've had you Lillie, and Mallow, Lana, Kiawe, Hau, Sophocles… Brock, Dawn, Clemont… Without you guys, I'd have had a much harder time. I may seem strong, but that's not always true. I'm human. We can fight on our own and get by but having people to help us when we're down is really important."

"Ash…" Lillie muttered, her voice only a breeze.

"So, thank you, Lillie. For being there for me through all of this, for caring. It means everything to me," Ash said.

"I-It's ok, Ash. T-Thank you for being there for me, too. You've helped me so much already…"

"No worries," Ash said, and they shared a small smile between them. A long silence followed, during which they simply sat beside one another, comfortably enjoying the gentle evening breeze.