Who I Am - Lightning99

Chapter 33:

A Headstrong Addition

"Shall we head back soon?" Lillie asked after a long while, readjusting her signature wide-rimmed sunhat. Seeing as they had to voyage back to Akala with Kukui and the others, and it was already becoming dark, they had to if they didn't want to be left behind.

"Yeah," Ash said, shuffling to his feet. "I can't believe how late it's gotten. I guess I have been here a while." Despite the productive few hours lingering on the bay, Ash's emotions remained in confused disrepair, but he was ok with that. It would take a while to truly accept everything all over again. This time, however, Ash was up for the challenge. Whatever effect it may have on him, he would fight against it. He didn't want to fall into such a depressed state yet again.

It only occurred to Ash as he realised how late it had become – he didn't know the exact time, he shouldn't have left Rotom on Akala – that they had accommodated him quite favourably with the timing of Oak's trial. It had been mid-day for him, so it must have been mid-night in Kanto. They must have desperately wanted him there.

"Yes, it has become quite late," Lillie said.

As Ash helped Lillie to her feet, a loud crash echoed around the peaceful bay. For the first time in a few hours, the Bagon had descended like a rocket head-first onto the nearby concrete, deepening the already indented crater.

Lillie flinched at the sudden impact, holding a hand to her heart. "A Bagon? It scared me…"

"Hmm. I think we've seen it before," Ash said.

"Oh, one of that group we saw the last time we came."

"Yeah. It's still going with that crazy training…"

"It's by itself?"

"I think so…"

"That's a little sad…" Lillie said caringly.

Finding something heart-moving about her tone, Ash glanced at the Bagon. "Should we check on it?"

Lillie responded with a cute little hum, and they set off towards the Bagon. Since he had seen and mingled among Bagon before, Ash was cautious in his approach, remembering how flighty and wild some of the small dragons could be. As Ash expected, the Bagon lashed out the minute it noticed them nearing. It lashed out at Lillie with what looked to be Headbutt; because of her inexperience, her guard was down, and Ash hadn't had the time to warn her.

"Watch out!" Ash cried, an overwhelming desire to protect Lillie hitting him harder than any such desire before. He quickly grasped Lillie's hand and gently pulling her back. Simultaneously, he stepped forwards, twisting around Lillie so his back faced the Bagon. Due to the jerk of Ash's movements, Lillie didn't seem to see the Bagon clatter into his back.

Ash grunted with pain – the hit stung, but it wasn't something he couldn't handle. Being electrocuted by Pikachu on numerous occasions was much worse. "Are you alright?"

"Y-Yes, thank you," Lillie replied, squeezing his hand.

Squeezing back and letting go a few seconds later, Ash eyed the Bagon, which looked irate: it was stomping its small feet and glaring ferociously at them, its fangs bared.

"I-It looks angry…" Lillie muttered, sounding a little scared. Naturally so, Ash thought, given her struggles with even calm Pokémon.

"I think the group before were trying to evolve; they jump off cliffs when preparing to. If all the others left without it, they must have already evolved. This one is probably angry because it hasn't yet…"

"I see… So, it was basically abandoned…"

Something about Lillie's phrasing made Ash feel some strange empathy towards the Bagon. Giving a glance Lillie's way, Ash walked forwards, intent on talking with it. His compassion was back; helping it just seemed the normal thing to do.

However, when Ash stepped too close, the Bagon's head dipped and shone white. Ash was lucky that his sparring with Infernape had paid off because if not for his trained reaction time, the rocketing Headbutt would have hit him in the face. As comical as Pikachu may have found it, Ash wasn't keen on a broken nose. Fortunately, he reacted fast enough to avoid it. But that didn't stop the second Headbutt assailing him from behind. As if a second extension of himself, Pikachu blocked the Headbutt with Iron Tail, protecting Ash's back. A rampaging barrage ensued afterwards.

"Bagon, calm down!" Ash called out, dodging another angered attack. He ducked left, right, even jumped while calling out for it to stop, but nothing worked.

Dodging was getting him nowhere, so Ash altered his method. He tried grabbing Bagon, only to take a firm hit to the jaw, which stung just as much as his back did. He attempted having Bagon daze itself by Headbutting the wall after a feint, but Bagon only chipped a hole in the rock, unfazed. Nothing worked, not even his foolhardy attempt to play matador, which only egged the Bagon to up the ferocity of its attacks.

The enraged Pokémon was relentless, so Ash ducked underneath a high-flying Headbutt and pulled out Rockruff's Pokéball. If the Bagon wanted to attack, he'd give him an opponent who could fight back. And with Rockruff out, who was a Rock-Type, that pesky, powerful Headbutt wouldn't be as effective.

However, Ash's plan fell apart the moment the Bagon hit Rockruff with Headbutt. Despite the advantage of type, the Headbutt did a lot more damage than he anticipated and hoped it would. Grimacing but also feeling quite impressed with Bagon's display, Ash told Rockruff to use Thunder Fang to try and paralyse Bagon – it wasn't very effective and would render him immobile without much injury, which he wanted. Unfortunately, running with his so-far poor luck with status conditions, the side effect didn't work. The Bagon countered quickly with Headbutt, following up with a Dragon Breath that left Rockruff paralysed instead.

Ash, not at all surprised with his unlucky streak, was slightly worried now. The Bagon was strong, and it was still gunning for him despite Rockruff's presence; he still had to dodge Headbutts as much as Rockruff did. It was as Rockruff took another hit that Ash realised he wasn't battling very well. He didn't know if his overactive subconscious and his stormy thoughts on the new revelation placed a dampener on his skills, but he definitely wasn't himself. Usually, he'd have Rockruff dodging everything with his predictions. But because of Ash's mentality, Rockruff was severely at a disadvantage.

"Rock Throw," Ash told Rockruff, but the Bagon's head may as well have been its own Iron-Type. The Headbutt smashed through the rocks and into Rockruff, and a powerful Bite followed.

The Bagon landed another Bite as Ash attempted to predict its movements, but he couldn't do it, not with so many thoughts over-flowing in his head. Rockruff couldn't dodge it of his own accord either due to being paralysed. Luckily, Rockruff was able to hit with Thunder Fang in retaliation. Disappointingly, Bagon flew in with Headbutt, followed up with Dragon Breath, and that combo left Rockruff knocked out on the floor.

Suddenly, Ash was the target again.

"Oh, come on!" Ash shouted, feeling incredibly tired after his day.

Almost fed-up with the battle because Bagon nearly made him look like a bobble-head several times, Ash reaching into his bag and withdrew an empty Pokéball. It was a spur of the moment decision, his last resort, the only way he could think to stop the rampaging Bagon without hurting it. He didn't want to send out Litten for the risk of injuring him because of his poor battling.

After Ash dodged another Headbutt, he tossed the Pokéball at Bagon. It bounced off its head and Bagon was pulled inside. Unfortunately, it shook only once before Bagon leapt out even angrier than before and slammed into Ash's chest with Headbutt, leaving him groaning. But Ash tried again. And again. And again. It took a few minutes of dodging and tossing but when Bagon's Pokéball snapped shut – he had dived on it to stop it bursting open as if that would do anything productive – Ash flopped to the floor and glanced towards Lillie, whose cheeks were lifted slightly, amusement in her expression.

"That…was tiring…" Ash panted, beginning to feel the hits he sustained ache.

"Is that how Pokémon Trainers catch Pokémon in the wild?" Lillie asked.

"Yeah, something like that. You battle them to weaken 'em, then throw a Pokéball. Simple really. Though, there's usually a bit more Pokémon battling and less trainer-using-himself-as-a-punching-bag. I'm a little off my game today…"

Lillie giggled. "That's understandable. Although, I thought you were great. You've got another Pokémon for your team now."

"Yep, seems that way!" Ash said, stretching a little bit. "But uhh… Can we go back now? I'll check on Bagon later 'cause… I'm beat…" he said, and as Lillie laughed again, he wondered what in Arceus' name he had just gotten himself into by catching the Bagon.

"Come here, Ash," Mallow softly said, in that comforting way she consoled any of the group whenever they were emotional. Rather than Ash moving to her, she scooted across the long settee and hugged him in a slightly awkward way given their seated positions, sympathy dancing across her expression.

It was nearing midnight in Alola. Having been safely returned to the Poké-Center they were staying at courtesy of Kukui's boat and the tranquil sea, the group had arrived to find a pacing Kiawe, Mallow twirling her hair faster than a gyrating Spinda, and Lana sat stiffly in the corner. The moment Ash stepped through the door, they bombarded him with questions. Ash calmly sat everyone down and explained the goings-on that day.

Honestly, if Lillie were in his position, she knew she'd have been overwhelmed. If any of her friends discovered her shielded past and relentlessly asked questions, she may have even broken down. To give Ash the relief of one less interrogator, Lillie remained quiet throughout the explanation.

When Ash finally concluded his story, everybody reacted in different ways. Mallow was the first to react with her hug. It was a beautiful gesture for the much-needed comfort she assumed Ash needed, but Mallow hugging Ash made some strange, eerie feeling stir within Lillie. It was a mix of feelings she didn't like. Discomfort in her heart and stomach, a pervasive sadness throughout her whole body. To ignore it, she clutched the edge of her dress while looking anywhere but towards the caring display.

Lana, Kiawe, and Hau all reacted as naturally as one might expect. They remained silent, probably absorbing the news; their expressions were thoughtful yet sombre. Hau was fidgety, Kiawe leant forwards on the table, resting his hands on his chin thoughtfully. In Lana's case, however, Lillie saw something else in her expression: curiosity. It looked as if Lana knew something they didn't, or she suspected something.

Dawn and Clemont, on the other hand, looked devastated. They said nothing either. It was probably harder on them than it was the Alolan group since they were old friends of some of the people involved. Jessie was as enraged as the earlier Bagon, muttering what Lillie assumed were swear words under her breath; James and their Meowth had this air of understanding around them until Ash mentioned Oak's plan to protect him from some mysterious people. The trio's expressions paled faster than visibly possible. A quick flick of his eyes towards them by Ash, a nod, and a gasp from James seemed to indicate some invisible confirmation of whatever it was they had suspected. It made Lillie wonder if there was more, still, to this situation.

It made her wonder how much more Ash was suffering.

Brock, who had a look of pure regret chiselled into his expression, which had only been stony when speaking of the past previously, was the first one to properly talk after Mallow's comforting words. His voice was choked with emotion.

"I don't believe it…" Brock said. He pinched the bridge of his nose, wiping at his eyes. "I seriously don't believe it… I feel like an idiot, I feel awful… I stormed in there the moment I got home and I… I shouted at everyone. I even pinned Oak against the wall. I threatened to hurt him…"

"You weren't to know, Brock," Kiawe said.

"Yeah. You did it for Ash's sake. Plus, your arrival was what gave me the courage to find Delia," Clemont added.

"I suppose, but… some of the things I said…" Brock muttered. A beat later, he shook his head. "No, sorry. This isn't about me. Ash, how're you holding up?"

"Honestly…? I feel like an over-charged Electrode right now. I've got so much going on in my head that I could explode at any moment. I seriously don't know what to think," Ash answered. "It feels good to get it off my chest at least."

"I'll bet!" Hau finally blew up. "Jeez, I'd be screaming like an idiot if I was goin' through this!"

"I imagine you're overwhelmed," Dawn said. "That has to be tough to deal with."

"Not to mention stressful," Lana added.

"Yeah, that doesn't really help," Ash said. He smiled as he criticised their words; he was more amused than bothered. "It's a lot, yeah. Finding out my friends didn't decide I was worthless feels better than you can imagine, but I believed everything they said for a whole month… I don't know what to think. I… I just don't want it to control everything I do from now on as it did with my battling a bit earlier. As it did last time… I want to be able to carry on without being too heavily affected."

"That's probably what you should focus on for now," Jessie said uncharacteristically. Ash nodded at her gratefully.

"Yeah, I think I will."

"In that case, what's next, Ash?" Mallow asked kindly.

"Well," Ash said, breathing out, "I've just caught a Bagon for my team, and he's not exactly the most cooperative Pokémon ever, so there's that. Next up on my Island Challenge is Kiawe's. What better way to get back to normal than Pokémon training, right?"

"That's so like you, Ash," Brock said fondly.

"Plus," Clemont added, "I finished the bracelets yesterday. When you battle with Pikachu next, we can test them out."

"Awesome. Thanks, Clemont," Ash said.

"What bracelets are they?" Hau asked.

"Oh, just a little side project I've got going on," Ash answered, and turned to Brock. "So… You pinned Oak to the wall?"

"Ah… That wasn't one of my finest moments…"

"You mean like your drying pan?"

"Hah!" Brock laughed; it was an odd sound given the glum atmosphere. It seemed it was an inside joke between him and Ash alone. "No, I think you'll find that was one of my best moments. The ingenuity was astounding."

As the tone of the conversation shifted to a more jovial note, Lillie drifted away from it, into her thoughts. While Ash had been talking about his situation, a big thought occurred to her. Ash had decided to tell people, to let them in on the goings-on inside his heart. He was brave enough to explain it all. He was strong enough to do it. Lillie wanted to be like that. She wanted to tell somebody, to have someone to rely on, to talk to when things got tough. And… she wanted that person to be Ash. She wanted to tell Ash everything. The only questions were when would she tell him, and would she be able to?

There was one more thing, too. She had to figure out what was going on with her emotions concerning Ash recently.

Now that Oak's trial was over, the shocking verdict settled upon the prior evening, Red and Delia had a lot to do. They were sat around the kitchen table opposite one another, a sheet of roughly jotted notations placed between them.

The idea for creating a list of their duties came to Red after the trial. He had been lying awake in bed hours after Delia, who was cuddled up to his side, had drifted to sleep. Like an insomniac, Red had stared up at the ceiling, absently brushed his hand comfortingly over Delia's shoulder as he thought. The night's silence provided a tranquil atmosphere for him to walk himself through everything he remembered of the situation multiple times over, and that allowed him to compile as many different tasks as he could. Thankfully, he had a notepad close by to record his ideas.

The first task on their list was a job Red proposed and thought was essential: reclaiming the rest of Ash's wrongfully distributed Pokémon. The idea had originally occurred to him when Blue sent over Ash's Kalos Pokémon. It resurfaced during the trial when Oak's charges were read out and became a necessity after the trial when Red had overheard Ash's voice upon realising his Pokémon hadn't wronged him; it had been shaky, seized by emotion. That morning, Delia had created a rough schedule for them to follow to gather Ash's Pokémon as quickly as possible, one he amended due to his familiarity with every region.

That schedule also accommodated their second job: speaking with some of Ash's friends. Delia had suggested that one. To begin with, she had only thought to properly check-in with Misty, May, and Drew, and she proposed telling them Ash was alive but had quickly vetoed her own idea because she realised it was more likely to be leaked the more people who knew. Instead, she decided to meet with them and explain that they were forgiven, that she understood why they had done it. She wanted to thank them. Then, Delia had decided to check in with everyone else anyway because she was so caring. Plus, she wanted to understand why Iris and Cilan had gone along with the situation. Red agreed with her. He wanted to check on everyone too. Since it lined up with their first plan, it was perfect.

The third job on their agenda was Lance's suggestion: learning more about the mysterious people. In all, that was the most essential job on the list since they had wanted to kill their son, but it wasn't because Red already knew who they were. Oak confirmed that much when he had spoken with him. All Red had to do was gather further information and formulate a plan to stop them, because he knew their methods. Luckily, they very rarely assembled. But when they did it meant the members were entirely invested in their goal. When that was the case, they were incredibly dangerous. For now, though, with the falsifications of his and Ash's deaths in the public eye, he didn't have to move quickly. He couldn't help feeling the past was repeating itself.

Finally, his last job was a visit to Oak. To ask why he had taken the fall. To ask if he wanted any help. To thank him. It was the least he could do. Once again, the sacrifice he had made for their family was phenomenal. Secretly, Red wondered what he could do to have Oak released.

"Is that everything?" Delia asked.

"Hmm," Red mumbled, nodding. "I think so. Are we set, then?"

"Yep. I'll start packing some bags, you get your Charizard ready for some flying. It's been a long time since I've flown anywhere on-back of a Pokémon! I can't wait to experience it again!" Delia said, a childlike excitement lifting her already bright expression. "After all of this is done, we can head on over to Alola and see Ash!"

Red felt a sudden flit of panic assault his chest, like a sharp jolt of pain. The idea of venturing to Alola didn't settle right in his mind. It made him anxious and worried. It made him hesitant, and he told himself he didn't know what it meant, that the feeling was indecipherable. But that was a lie. Red knew why he felt so worried. It had been creeping up on him for a while now and seeing Ash the day prior had only worsened it. No matter how boundless his desire to do so was, Red was hesitant to see Ash face-to-face, in person. He was worried about what his reaction would be.

"…Actually, after all of that, I think it's time I do some damage control and contact a few people and let them know both Ash and I are alive. I've been so busy since getting back I haven't even thought to tell anyone. Especially…"

"Yes, that's probably the best thing to do," Delia said, apparently understanding who he meant. "In the meantime, I'll check-in with Yellow and see if she and Daisy want to come to Alola with us. Oh, Gary, Barry, and Paul, too. I'm sure they're still waiting patiently at the Oak's. Oh, I can only imagine how stressed Barry has made Blue. I hope they don't mind that we dropped Bonnie off with them, too."

"…I think I'll stay and catch up with you all later on. I need to meet someone first…" Red said, looking down at the floor. "There's so much to do…" he repeated.

The room fell silent for a moment. A little surprised, Red looked up at Delia, who was looking at him calculatingly. "…Right…" Delia said, slowly.

"…I'll get Charizard ready," Red said and left to the front yard.

Whence outside and rummaging through his Pokéballs to find Charizard's, Red released a heavy sigh. They had been so caught up in the idea of saving, protecting, and confirming that Ash was alive and healthy that he hadn't actually thought about seeing him in person. It was such a simple idea, one he felt excited about, but he couldn't shake the worry that Ash wouldn't accept him. He had been away for years. He had missed his birth, his first word, his first steps… He had missed everything. Could he really come back into his son's life now, of all times?

The way Delia reacted to his feeble attempts to delay seeing Ash… There was no doubt she suspected something was wrong. Red sighed again. For one of the first times in his life, he didn't know what to do.

"Another day done, huh?" Shauna said as she zipped up their tent for the night. After a pleasant evening sat around the campfire chatting and laughing because, finally, all felt right with the world, their group had parted to their tents for sleep.

"Yep, another day done," Serena said, slipping into her sleeping bag.

"Well done on that double battle today. We really showed those cocky kids!"

Serena laughed. "We did. I can't believe they recognised us, though."

"Are you serious? I've been recognised loads since our last contest. It was broadcasted all over the region, you know."

"I know, I know. It's just surprising is all."

"Well, get used to it. When one of us becomes the next Kalos Princess, we'll be recognised even more!" Shauna said.

"I won't lose," Serena responded, smiling.

Shauna reciprocated her smile and climbed into her sleeping bag. "How much further until we reach Route 14?"

"I'm not entirely sure," Serena answered. They had been travelling for a few days now and were finally nearing Route 14 and Ash's Goodra. Kalos turned out to be a lot larger than she had thought it was the first time she explored it. Being around the daily antics Ash seemed to attract had probably made it feel smaller than it was. She had had so much fun last time it had been a blur. "But I don't think it matters. We'll get there eventually."

"True, true. Don't you want to see Ash soon, though? I thought you, like, love him?" Shauna asked.

Serena felt a blush on her cheeks. She shyly averted her eyes from her friend. "D-Don't say it like that… It's embarrassing…"

"But it's true though, right?"

"Y-Yes…" Serena timidly answered, pulling her sleeping back up to cover her lips. "You're right. I desperately want to see him. But it's a bit more complicated than that. He's spent a month believing that I l-love someone else… His mother said she'd tell him the truth, but I'm still afraid of what it might mean…"

"I understand," Shauna said.

"I think that's part of the reason I came out here instead of going straight to Alola. To give him some time to understand everything… I don't know. Or am I just hesitant to see him even though I really want to…?"

"Oh, come on, girl. Stop overthinking it," Shauna said, giving Serena's forehead a light flick. Serena pouted, rubbing her forehead. "You love him, right? You're out here for him, right? Stop confusing everything. You'll see him when you see him, and you'll give him the best gift ever: his Pokémon back! There's nothing more to it."

Serena smiled. "You're right. Thank you, Shauna. I guess all I needed was a little bit of a pep talk."

"What're besties for? Now, when you see him, tell him right away or else I'll come in and steal him from you!"

"You'll what?!" Serena asked, sitting upright out of shock.

Shauna laughed. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding! I'm not Miette. I actually have my eyes set on someone else…"

Serena gasped. "What?! Who?!"

"It's a secret!" Shauna said in a sing-song voice.

"No, you have to tell me!"

"Nope!"

"Shauna!"