Chapter 63: Service and Sacrifice

"I'm in love with you."

And although Yue knew of his feelings thanks to his crumpled note, she realized just how different it was to be told in person that she was loved. It made her swelling heart tip over, pour out torrents of warmth, sweltering nervousness, and sweet, sweet adoration that muted her senses.

"And I don't mean to be a know-it-all or a cocky blubberfuck when I say this, but…I have a strong feeling that…maybe you feel this thing between us, too. The chemistry we have…there are times when it's obvious, Yue, I can't lie…unless if I'm reading the room horribly wrong, then I'm really sorry…"

He was right, though. This "something beautiful" that had bloomed from their time together was noticed by everyone. The two of them knew of it deep down, too. And yet, she could never admit to it.

The consequences of a relationship would be drastic.

And as a result, the princess was lost, left to blindly reach for a balance between not breaking his heart and telling him to not entertain these feelings. With a degree of guilt— she was always guilty these days— she choked out a dry laugh, "You sure do crack me up, isumataq. Now let's go eat—"

"This is not a joke, Yue, please," his hands left her face and grasped her shoulders as he looked her in the eyes, frantically emphasizing, "It was never a joke." Biting his lip, "I love you. So much. I want to spend all my life with you. And if I'm meant to have kids, I want to have them with you."

He looked like he ran a marathon— panting, lips trembling, eyelids twitching and layered with sweat. He felt like he had to grab hold of something or sit down, fearing he would topple over her from the dizziness that ensued from the sheer volume, the crushing weight of his feelings that so suddenly left his control, flowing like untamed waves amid an ocean of unadulterated expression. Surprisingly, however, he felt an unexpected boldness come over him; the reality was that once this truth was finally out, he had somehow broken free from whatever force that left him so mute all this time. He wanted relief from the sweet torture of fantasizing nights, from the claustrophobia resulting from unexpressed tension. He was a geyser in this moment, spewing forth his passion, melting more of the burden that crowded his chest.

"I'm sorry," he swallowed, "You deserve so much more than being confessed to by a sweaty mess of feels. I…I originally fantasized about telling you in a more romantic way. Moonflowers and ocean jasmines, a full moon… candles and ice lanterns, maybe a pathway lined with petals of sandalwood-roses…A-And waves swishing by our moccasins, Northern Lights…" And as he trailed off, palettes of a blooming aurora trickled through the window, making them glimmer in different hues, and the competing light of the full moon followed suit, drenching the princess, who was clearly at a loss for words, the brightness of her face tinted with a pinkish hue as a result of a faint blush, juxtaposed by a conflicted glaze.

"Sorry, sorry, I'm rambling, fuck…" Shaking his head, "I only mean that anyone would want more effort put into this, you know? And…I was trying to find the right time and everything because I know a lot is happening right now, and you're still coming to terms with your past… I didn't want my confession to be a burden for you at this time. But I just couldn't hold it in anymore…"

Trapping her tears, "So you're really being serious…?"

He let out a long breath, the wild fear in his eyes trickling away, leaving behind soft, ebbing love. He reached for her hands and held them gently albeit shakily. "I love you, Yue. I've loved you for a while now. I want us to be a family, Yue, I…"

And she felt her legs growing weak, feeling as if she only had a pounding heart for a body.

"You know something, Yue? I became curious when you sent all those gifts and all that aid to the South. I was suspicious, too, because you sent so, so much. I'd never expected anyone to be this nice because we had very few people do even a fraction of what you've done. You didn't want anything from us in return, either. I wondered if there were such people out there."

He told her of his shenanigans of sneaking into Zhi's ship so he could grab an article and read about her. He told her of everything he'd learned about her— her resilience, compassion, the risks she took to help the South. And he did have gratitude, he wasn't going to deny that, but gratitude most certainly wasn't the only thing. He wanted to know more about her. He couldn't stop thinking about her. He was actually frustrated when people didn't talk about her enough, and he was disapproving of the fact that she didn't think about her safety nearly enough.

"And when I read the letter you sent me…" And the biggest smile he could muster was plastered on his face, "Ever since, every minute, I found myself wanting to see you. I don't ever remember giving gifts to anyone all my life, but the gymnastics I went through to figure out what you might like… For the first time, I wanted to give something to someone. I wanted to give you something that would always remind you of me. That was the sort of high your letter gave me."

Both of their attentions flew to her bangles, which were now nestled against his warm hands. He absentmindedly traced the crescents he'd spent so long carving.

"I'd never felt so appreciated and respected by anyone to this extent," he said. "I'd never been so fascinated. And I'm normally skeptical as hell of everybody. I go around hoping to spot rays of kindness in people. But you…every single thing you do, you think about how it would affect other people, other life forms. You think of the ethics behind every little thing. You acknowledge a world that's grey and feeds off of itself, but you still go out of your way to not cause any small inconvenience for others…and it drives me crazy because you forget yourself and your own needs in the process."

But being able to take care of her and bond with her, getting to know her and spending more time with her brought him immense relief and happiness. It was an unexpected way for him to be at peace, but the truth of the matter was that nothing made him feel so loved, so wanted and needed the way her companionship did. She accepted him just the way he was despite her affinity for the Spirits and his near-constant nagging and criticism. She never tried to rub religion on him, but she didn't ridicule his genuine curiosities about religion, either. She took inspiration from him and inspired him all at the same time.

"I wanted more of the high that is you," he let slip in his deepest moments of vulnerability. "I wanted to be in your company. I realized this when we saved that wolf pup together. We make a great team, and…I wanted to spend as much time with you as I could. Learn as much as I can from you. And that's why I stayed." Turning to her, "You keep saying I was forced to be here, that your dad forced me into this or something. But I stayed here on my own."

Brushing away the sweat on his upper lip and the tears that had rolled down his face with his ragged sleeve, "I was never trying to take advantage of the situation or of you with this wedding. If anything, I wanted to be close to you. Close enough to guard you. And I know you don't need protecting, but I couldn't help myself. I didn't want to let go of the happiness I felt whenever I was around you. Every minute I spent with you, every minute of sleep I lost just so I can talk to you. I wouldn't trade it for the world."

Yue was not sure what it was that kept her from either bringing him into her arms and sealing their lips together or getting up and fleeing to mask the eruption of her own feelings. She could only remain still and quiet, stiff and cold, very much resembling the moon that Sokka frequently relayed his feelings to and practiced his eloquent confession speeches with.

"After every trading mission, the thought of home gave me comfort," Sokka told her. "I would close my eyes and picture the South, picture the people who needed me. But when I close my eyes now and think of home…all I see is you. Not because I think you're dependent on me but because I realize just how much I need you. You have to understand; I've never stayed this long anywhere. I'd always been running around. But I want to stay here like this with you. I can't go back to the South knowing I won't ever see you there!"

He wanted to spend the rest of his nights running around the North with her, watching and critiquing dumb, toxic plays with her. He couldn't possibly let go of everything they'd grown accustomed to— flute and language lessons, talking to each other only in haikus, counting and naming the stars, playing board games, ranting on hours and hours about the universe and their places in it, wallowing together in the existential crisis that followed, kicking butt when they needed to, scraping their knees against the staircase in the Moon Temple courtyard every time they scrubbed them down.

"I want all of these things. I want our teasing and banters and arguments and laughs and heart-to-hearts. I want to be the first person you turn to when you need anything. I want you… and I want to be a part of the world you love."

He had never looked as beautiful as he did now. Radiant with love like the pining La so revered by the Water Tribe. Tears slipped down her face, but she bent them away, swallowing a whimper.

"I know we can't hide the mammoth-bear in the room. I know Pakku's a pain in the butt, and I know my parents won't be happy with this, but all that matters to me is what you think of me. Whether I'm to your liking or not. A-And you don't have to worry about leaving your home at all! I'm willing to stay here with you in the North. However long you want. Even if that's forever. I'll support everything you do as long it's not a danger to you. I'll do my part in any responsibilities we share…so you can be the chieftess you want to be and the mom you want to be. I'll be a good husband and a good dad. I'll make sure you have it all…" And when she cast a burdened look at him, "Th-that being said, I'm not asking anything from you. I'm not expecting anything, and this is just me telling you my feelings. Inaamiyamin, dronningi, ningami." I'm giving myself to you, Princess, that's all.

He lowered his gaze, "I consider myself an offering at your disposal. If you don't feel that way about me, that's perfectly okay! Just as long as we can still be best friends. O-Or if you want, take as much time as you need if you're not sure or if you're not ready to go any further. Or if you like it like this, we don't have to give what we have an official name…"

The moment, perceived as nothing short of sacred, was unceremoniously interrupted by a knock at the door. Sokka cast an exasperated glare at the door whereas Yue was grateful for the intrusion; she drew her veil over her face and nearly rushed to open the door, finding Zhi standing with a couple of scrolls in his hands.

"Correspondence for you, Your Highness," he handed her the scrolls, "They were marked as requiring immediate attention, so I wanted to personally hand them to you. I feared they'd be overlooked if I just left them at your desk. Your schedule has changed recently, so…"

By which he meant she was spending more time with her parents than drowning in work all day, which was a welcome change but still veered away from her usual routine. "Oh…thank you…"

As soon as he left, she turned back to the prince, who had gathered himself together in so far as he wasn't breaking apart but was still a bundle of nerves as he stared at her. He expected her to still be shocked, unaware of the fact that she had processed his confession beforehand, but it couldn't be denied that hearing him say all these things did leave her in a love-blinded daze. Had it not been for the scrolls keeping her rooted to the ground, she might've succumbed.

"I, um…" holding up a scroll, "this is kind of…"

"Yeah, yeah, I totally understand…" he fumbled to calm himself, "I, uh…" he trailed off as she held his hand.

"Just relax."

He let go of the breath he'd been holding since the beginning of his monologue, "Again, I just said all this to get it off my chest… But we don't have to talk about it right away, okay?"

She nodded, "Yeah."

"So we're good, right?"

"Of course. It's not like you turned into a monster or anything."

"Well yeah…but I hope you…I hope you don't see me any different…in a negative way…"

"Actually, I appreciate the honesty," she told him. "It's not easy being vulnerable in front of someone like that…and I'm glad you were so open with me about this." Sighing, "I just need some time…"

"Yeah," he nodded more vigorously than intended, "Yeah, of course. No rush, no force, just…catharsis, that's all this is."

Dabbing the sweat away from her temples, "I'll, um…I'll be there in a minute. Can you keep Akluviq company?"

"Sure thing."

She watched him leave, quietly allowing herself to melt as his words repeatedly chimed through her mind. She toppled on top of the pelts in the corner, her chest lurching in his direction. She wished that she had the chance to truly savor this moment, that everything wasn't so damn complicated, that she could just simply say, I love you, too, and stop dancing around this glacier because yes, the tension simmering between them was very real, sandwiched by banters and body heat, chaste kisses and cuddles.

But he said it himself. "I know we can't hide the mammoth-bear in the room."

If not now, she was going to have to get over herself soon. Tell him this wasn't going to work out before things get out of hand. It would be difficult to break his heart as easily as she broke her own, but she can't keep him waiting forever…

…a truth cemented more firmly when she cast a look at one of the scrolls she'd dropped before her, which was addressed to her by Pakku of the Southern Water Tribe.

"Our Wang Fire didn't come today, either?"

Yue shook her head, glancing in passing at the people who frequented Ilannak's Igloo. Her eyes were as crimson as flaring embers, oceans of sorrow held within them with much care. "He's busy today."

"Oh, I can imagine. The princess's coronation's in eight more days. I'm sure the entire palace is filled with busy people running around."

Yue said nothing of the comment, straightening her veil; she had kept her face covered all day today whereas normally, she let her self-restrictions loose in Mitena and Brother Ilannak's presence.

"Why do you still need that?" Mitena nudged her, gesturing to the veil, "You're literally the only person wearing it ever since the princess lifted the face-covering mandate. It's been six whole months."

Again, Yue said nothing. Mitena frowned at the utter lack of response and the furrow of the young woman's eyebrows. "Oh dear, you're still serious. Are you two still arguing?"

Yue turned to her friend, "We never argued."

Mitena took her seat beside the princess, "The other day you were pretty upset, though. You were saying he's going to leave soon. Did he say when or something…? Is that why you're upset?"

She shook her head, "He said he wants to stay."

"Then why are you so glum? He's staying!" Beaming at her, "Obviously he wants to tie the knot with you, Yue. Why else would he leave the South behind?"

Yue sighed, "He has a life apart from me, Mitena."

"Well he's choosing you. He's consenting to be with you. He loves you. Why can't you see that? What's so wrong about that?"

Yue did not answer. Mitena's hand brushed over the young woman's shoulder, "Oh dear, your eyes are still red. Are you sure everything's alright?"

"I told you it's from lack of sleep," Yue sighed, shifting in her seat so she can face her friend properly, "Mitena, the real reason why I'm here is to ask you something."

Blinking, "Yes, of course you can. Do you need help with anything?"

"No, I just…" Reorienting herself before she succumbed to her breakdown, her voice quivering, "W-What would you do if…if the Akna came here…?"

Mitena widened her eyes, "What?"

"What would you do," Yue reiterated, "if you ran into the Akna?"

"Why would you ask that?" Looking around the restaurant, nearly on the verge of either frantic desperation or fear, "Is that woman around here somewhere?"

And Yue didn't need an immediate response to know what the answer was. Shaking her head, "No, I was just…curious. Say if she showed up here… Would you refuse her service?"

It was only with that assurance that Mitena seemed to recover from the jolt in her heart, "Well…no…not exactly. The Book of La says all people, regardless of who they are, are entitled to basic human needs. If she's in need of food and shelter, she's welcome to come by…and she can get whatever she wants. But…the Book of Purity strongly condemns contact with people who violate its laws, so…"

"So you won't take money from her?"

Shaking her head, "No."

"So you'll just let her take what she wants until she leaves?"

"She doesn't have to leave. Once she steps inside, we'll be the ones to leave. We'll quit the business in that location as soon as she sets foot on the premises."

Feeling a heavy twist in her chest, "Why would you quit?"

Exasperated, "I don't take the purity laws too seriously, but… there are certain ones that I think are important. I feel bad for her, I do, but the fact is, we can't continue to operate in any location where that woman is. She carries bad luck with her. She's a witch."

"So she's like a fatal germ," Yue's voice shook, "That's what she is to you, isn't she? Once she comes in contact with you, it's over?"

"It's La's curse. There's nothing we can do. The Book of Purity says so."

"If La cursed her, why would he save her?" Yue asked. "You've heard the story. The statue of La—"

"Yes, the broken hand story," Mitena sighed, "But I think that statue is probably cursed as well. Demonic spirits used to roam that temple before Priestess Osha came and purified the place. It could be possible that those demonic forces caused the hand to break. A statue breaking in any way is highly inauspicious."

"You don't think that nourishing a child who is on the brink of starvation is an auspicious activity? Don't you think it's idiotic that a bunch of sexist men who are squeamish about blood get to sit around and dictate the purity status of a woman's fluids?

"Yue, if you ask such deep questions, I won't have answers for them. I'm just a commoner, and the only thing I know is that if that woman was to come by, we'd leave. I don't know where we'd go if that ever happens— Spirits forbid— but we certainly won't be able to stay here. This location would be made impure… unless a priest or Priestess Osha steps forward to purify the location, but for that to happen, that woman would have to leave and never come back, and we can't guarantee that." Taking a deep breath, "If the Spirits are merciful, they'll keep her out."

Yue, having received enough information, merely nodded and stood up.

"Are you leaving already?" Mitena asked.

"I have some work to do," the princess gulped, "I just stopped by to say hi."

"Why don't you stop by for lunch later today?"

"I don't have time," came the terse reply as Yue left, her vision blurred by the moisture in her eyes.

"Brother Sokka?"

Sokka looked up from his scrolls, seeing Imona standing by the door with a concerned Aang and Katara. The isumataq frowned, gruffly demanding the princess's friend, "What is it now? Am I committing a horrible sin by sitting down and reading?"

"I'm here to apologize," Imona said, holding a look that was rather sincere for once. "I didn't mean what I said earlier, I really didn't. I just wanted to get a reaction from you."

Furrowing his eyebrows, "A reaction…?"

"I was aggravated that you weren't saying or admitting to anything, and…I thought making you angry would finally bring your feelings out of you. I thought you'd jump up and admit your feelings to her in the heat of the moment, but you didn't. When you were about to walk out, I for sure thought you'd say something. That line about you not abandoning your wife and child… I thought this was it…"

Sokka stared at the trio as Aang and Katara nodded along to her explanation.

"Aang and I kind of talked to Imona about the situation," Katara explained.

"Sister Imona told us she will do what she can to speed things along," Aang followed.

"They didn't tell me to say those things, by the way," Imona said. "I thought this method would help…and I thought it wouldn't make her suspicious because…well, I distrust men anyway, so…" And seeing that he was still frowning, "I know it's upsetting, but that was kind of the point. You haven't been able to tell her on your own, so I thought this would rile you up and bring out your defensive side a little. I was trying to help. That's all."

He gave a slow nod of acknowledgment. "Oh…well…apology accepted…"

Crossing her arms, "My crazy friend over there is either oblivious as fuck or sacrificial as fuck, and she never does a damn thing for herself, and I was over here rooting for you. I don't trust anyone easily when it comes to her, so you should take this as a compliment."

His frown slowly dissolved, and a small smile played on his lips. "Well I'm touched. Feels good to be appreciated." He went back to his scrolls, oddly not saying more. He didn't give away the fact that he confessed, either. He wasn't out to make this a big deal or involve anyone else.

Katara and Aang shared curious looks before stepping over to him. Katara placed her hand on her brother's shoulder as the monk asked, "Is everything okay, Sokka? You look a little tense."

"Yeah…I just need to have a talk with the lieutenant." Gesturing to one of the scrolls, "This is supposedly the tenth shipment to the South. And she has eight more scheduled in the coming year. She told me she only sent the shipments five times so far."

"How's that a bad thing? She's sending a lot of aid to the South—"

"She's spending all the money in her treasury for the South," he told Katara, disapproval laced in his words, "Every shipment's cost," holding up another scroll, "isn't short of ten million gold pieces, and she's over here selling every nice thing she owns to meet this amount every single time. Shouldn't we be able to hold our own by now? Pakku and Dad should have the decency to write back and say it's enough aid to last a lifetime. I don't want the South mooching off of her resources." Huffing, "I need to talk to her about this, too, but she's not back yet."

"Where did Kuunnguaq go?" Imona asked. "I haven't seen her all day. I was expecting you two to be having lunch by now."

"She said she needed to do something on her own first. She said she'll be really busy and won't be back for a while. She said it might even take half a day."

"You usually put up a fight and try to go with her."

"I did, but she said it was a ladies-only thing, so I didn't push it."

"How long has she been gone?" Aang asked.

"Eight hours, going on nine…"

"Not surprised if she's out delivering someone's baby," Imona said. "She's a healer anyhow, and labor and birth can take several hours."

"Actually, I have a feeling she was hiding something. She could've been lying," Sokka said in absolute seriousness. "But I can't question her about these kinds of things. What if she really is helping somebody give birth? It's very plausible. It's just that she would still tell me, though…"

"She probably didn't want my brother fainting in the middle of the birthing room," Katara laughed.

"I'm over here worried sick, and you're joking around?" Sokka frowned at his sister.

"She'll be back," Imona said. "Where could she possibly go when she has a coronation coming up?"

Sokka ruminated the comment for a moment before standing up, "I think it's best if I look around. Just in case."

"And where are you gonna look? In all the maternity huts and delivery wards? Don't act like a stalker, Sokka. Give her some time. She's a grown woman."

"Here, use this."

Yue glanced at the container that the senior maid placed before her. The princess peered inside, noting that it was filled with water.

"Rinse your mouth with it," the maid said. "It's holy water."

Frowning, "Why?"

"Because that woman's name left your mouth," another maid supplied. "Why would you even ask about her right now?"

"The Akna?"

"Oh Spirits, there she goes again!"

Yue didn't even have to press for answers after that.

By nightfall, a jittery Sokka, who was tired of keeping a straight face and exhausted from reassuring Arnook and Ahnah that the princess was perfectly safe, got up from the pelts to get rid of his uncertainty once and for all. He approached Imona worriedly, "Okay, are births fifteen hours long?"

"They can be."

With a frustrated groan, "But what if that's not why she left? She never explicitly said that's why she's going. And there's about to be a blizzard; who knows if she's indoors or not?" Grabbing a thick overcoat, "I'm going to find her—"

He was stopped, however, by the princess's voice that came from down the hall. He threw his coat aside and raced down the corridor, relieved to spot the princess but simultaneously worried about how she appeared— sullen, sunken, tired. She did manage a tiny smile when she saw him and didn't refuse his bombarding hug.

"Where did you go? I was worried sick!"

"I told you I was going to be late today," she smoothed her hand down his back, her smile quickly turning into a disapproving glare when she saw Imona.

"I apologized to Brother Sokka," Imona said.

"Yeah, she did, everything's good," Sokka said. "Just a little misunderstanding is all."

"Where are anaana and ataata?"

"Ukuagek has a health checkup with Yugoda. Silak is with her. They told me to send for them when you got here."

"Oh."

His palm rested against her cheek, worried eyes searching her exhausted form. "Hey, everything okay? Your eyes are really red."

"Yeah. I just couldn't sleep last night. I'm going to sleep now—"

"Woah woah, wait a minute. You sure you don't want to eat something first? I don't even know if you had lunch—"

"I'm okay. Don't wait on me."

"He's most definitely going to wait on you," Imona said. "He didn't even have lunch earlier."

Sokka tried to fumble for an excuse, but he didn't have to, having poured his heart out to her last night. She sighed, "Fine. Let's eat in my room."

"Can you stay with me tonight?"

Her voice had been small and hopeful when she'd asked him, and the waver in her tone accompanied by her swollen red eyes made him wonder if she'd been crying. He was careful in his handling, not even batting an eye of hesitation as he joined her seconds later, having dragged his sleeping bag and a pillow over to her room.

"I heard there's going to be a blizzard tonight," she said. "It'll be cold for you down there."

"I got a lot of pelts."

"That's not going to be enough." She pat the space beside her on the bed, all expected signs of bashfulness overpowered by a great burden in her gaze, a melancholy wave of need that remained expertly within the boundaries of her eyes.

"Are you okay with…?" he blinked.

"We've shared a bed before, technically," she pointed out. "And we made it out alive."

He was a bit hesitant as he slipped beneath the covers, but he was surprised at how she snuggled against him with very little hesitation. Naturally, his arms flew around her, his heart warmed. His hand smoothed her long hair as it fell behind her in smooth ripples, hanging down from her edge of the bed and gracing the ground like a silken curtain.

"Are you sure everything's okay?" he asked her.

"There has been a change in a few of my plans," she said vaguely. "It's stressing me out a little, but I'm working my way around them."

"What plans?"

"You'll see for yourself tomorrow."

She noted the look of discomfort on his face, the way his eyebrows furrowed the deeper he lost himself to his train of thought.

"Why the face?"

He brushed stubborn shocks of her hair aside, bringing her face to the light, unable to stop his thumb from tracing her cheek and jaw, "I'm just worried about you showing your face to the public. I know you have to at some point, but…I thought it wasn't going to be immediate. I thought we'd have more time to see if things settle down even more."

"Don't worry about that," she assured him. "I've decided not to do that."

"Really?"

"Yes," she nodded. "There's so much I still have to do behind the scenes."

"We need to tell Akluviq tomorrow."

"Mm…" She scooted closer and huddled against him, again showing no hesitation, raising flutters of hope within him. If she wasn't having difficulty exhibiting this level of touch that she hadn't shown before…could it be that this was her way of reciprocating his feelings?

"You scared me today," he whispered, his head nuzzled against hers, "I was about to come looking for you."

She frowned, disconcerted, "How long are you going to keep looking for me like this? How long are you going to keep running around me?"

Planting a kiss on her forehead, "All my life if I need to."

"You're not my slave, Sokka."

"Doing things for the people you love isn't a chore, and it doesn't make you a slave."

She tried to fight off the boiling heat in her eyes, "All those romantic plays got to your head, I see."

"Actually, I got this from you. Your selfless service to the North."

Fearing a moment of weakness, she unwound her arms from around him and sat up. She had heard enough, and if she heard anymore, she would betray her resolve of looking out for him.

"Naalagaanera Sokka…we all want things…and we all want certain people. And sometimes we may have those people right in front of us. But being able to keep them…it isn't always as easy as forming a haiku in a second's time."

Prince Sokka. The formality stung him.

"You've done so much for me, and I…"

"No, no, that's the thing," fervently shaking his head as he pulled himself up, "Don't think about what I've done for you. That would be gratitude. Think about how I am as a person. Whether I'm to your liking or not."

"Sokka, this isn't about me, it's about you," she pressed, "What about your parents? The South? Chiefdom?"

Sighing, "I'll write to them—"

"And you think that's enough? The main issue here is whether or not you thought this all through. You think everything through all the time, don't you? But instead, you're telling me all these things…" These beautiful things that were tempting her to snap away from all logical train of thought, "You do realize what will happen if I accept you as my lover and husband; I've been pointing this out to you since day one." A firm look in her eyes, "I'm the Akna."

"And I'm a disbeliever," he rasped. "Society treats me like dirt anyway, so why should I worry—?"

"Well it treats me like a sewer-rat," she nearly hissed. "Do you not see the difference yet? Your entire tribe wants you. You've been open about your disbelief, but at no point did your people not want you. They wanted you to change your ways, but they still wanted you. They never rejected you. But as the Akna…I'm on a whole other level of blasphemy." She couldn't stop her hand as it rested on his cheek, her thumb grazing his stubble. "You've helped me get closer to my parents. You've been doing everything you can to help me get through this. You've given me so much of your valuable time. Sokka, I…I admire you…And for everything you've done…I can't destroy your relationship with your family. I won't do that to you."

"Then what am I supposed to do? Forget you?" his voice trembled, "Forget everything we had?"

"Yes." She let go, answering his difficult frown with hers, "If you knew you were falling for me so fast, you should've left the North. You knew your folks wouldn't accept, so why…?"

"And that would be the right thing to do?" he challenged, "You always talk about ethics and doing the right thing. Is leaving you for them the right thing to do?"

"Is leaving them for me the right thing to do?"

"I'm not saying I'm going to abandon them. I never implied that. I'm saying I'm not abandoning you."

"Say what you want," she turned away, "but I'm not putting your life in jeopardy."

A tremored hand gripped her shoulder, gently turning her so she could face him. "I don't want your compassion, dronningi. Don't be so compassionate with me. All that matters is what you think of me."

She gulped, fumbling for a coherent response, which proved difficult before his anguished look.

"We helped so many couples break away from their fears. We sat them down and told them to look to the future. And they're all living their best lives right now. Remember Iska and Qaasan? That guy was disowned for his loyalty to the woman he loved. And aren't they living a happy life?"

"So what, you're saying being disowned is good?"

"I'm not saying it's good. I'm saying it's not the end of the world."

She gave him a look of incredulity, "You want to talk raw for a moment, Sokka? I was never owned, to begin with. I would've died—"

"No, you wouldn't—!"

"Yes, I would have. If it wasn't for a piece of stone breaking, if it wasn't for those offerings made to La, I would have starved to death, and this is a fact. Call it the universe, call it divine intervention, whatever, but somehow or another, I made it out alive after I was abandoned by people who were supposed to be my own. And that's okay for me personally because I don't give a single yakshit about where those people could be right now. I have no memories of them. I never grew up with them. They're not a priority, and I'm not wasting a second of my valuable time pining after people who don't care. I can go the rest of my life without them without any problem." Swallowing, "But you are very different. You have a loving family. A toxic family, yes, but they love you nevertheless. There wasn't a single ritual they left unfinished for your birth."

"If they really do love me that much, won't they try to see how much you make me happy?" he insisted. "You've treated me with so much kindness and care and radical acceptance. You are beautiful in every way I can think of, and I honestly thought someone like you wouldn't even notice a guy like me, but…You made me feel like I belonged here. You made me feel loved. I don't recall Pakku making me feel loved; the man's an asshole, and for the sake of prestige and reputation, he'll do anything he can to marry me off to a sixteen-year-old child against my will. You think I should sit through that? And in the event that I'm lucky enough to have my feelings reciprocated…do you really think I'd want our children to grow up around that kind of influence?"

Shaking her head, "No…"

Sokka sighed, "I've seen how it goes, Yue. I've seen how a lot of the people we've helped are doing. My uncle Amaruq went through it, too. If he hadn't taken that step, he wouldn't be this happy with my aunt and their son today. This is a question about our lives."

She pressed her lips tightly together, "I promised your folks that I'd send you back as soon as my coronation is over—"

"And I promised your folks that I won't say anything to you about your past. If I broke my promise, maybe you can break yours, too. You're Kuunnguaq. You shouldn't be telling me to go back to that toxicity." Folding his arms, "As a matter of fact, we wouldn't even be having this conversation if I had liked someone else. You would've encouraged me to choose my happiness. Double standards much? Against yourself?"

"This isn't just about your family, Sokka. You're going to be the chieftain of the South. You can't rely on emotion to make such critical decisions."

"I'm not saying I won't look after the South. I can care for the South from here, too."

"But—"

"Please, Yue," he breathed, holding her shoulders, "Forget everything that's standing in the way. All I need to know is what you think of me. You can look me in the eye and tell me you don't like me that way, and that's perfectly okay. But I'm begging you…If you do feel the same way, don't make sacrifices and think it'll work out in the end for me. Because it won't, I promise you."

He certainly was persistent. Yue closed her eyes, fearing she'd give herself away, fearing she would give in. She couldn't handle the affection he trapped in his gaze.

"And regardless of your decision… please let me stay here. Please don't bring up the topic of sending me home."

"Staying here will only hurt you more, Sokka."

"Well I do believe I have the freedom to protect the woman I love."

The woman I love. "Well I have the freedom to protect the people I care deeply about. Whether that's danger or heartbreak or feelings capable of tearing families apart."

"If you think sending me away from here will make me forget you and move on, I'm afraid you're wrong."

She swallowed an anxious cry, the bitterness cultivated from her day spent outside the palace juxtaposed by the waves of adoration she harbored for the isumataq.

"We'll talk about this another time," he whispered. "I know you're upset, and I know everything's overwhelming for you. This isn't the best time." Sighing, "I guess I really should've waited…"

But what he didn't know was that whether or not he waited, she knew of this dilemma anyhow.

"Just go to sleep," he told her, soft and patient. "You still okay with me staying here?"

She dropped the conversation, tears dripping, spurred by his warmth and his comforting whispers. She soaked his tunic with her fears and gripped him as tightly as she could as if this was the last time she'd hold him like this, her feelings muted by the scroll in the pocket of her overcoat.

A groggy Sokka stirred as he felt her getting out of bed in the middle of the night. His hand caught her wrist in a gentle grip, eyes trying to peel open from the layers of sleep.

"Where are you going?"

"Bathroom."

"Oh…"

She leaned towards him, kissing his head, her tears sparkling beneath the moonlight but still mostly hidden in the dark of the night, "I'm not going anywhere far away, you know." Her lips traversed down to his cheeks, her palms caressing his face. "I'm still here. I'll always be with you."

He smiled in his sleepy daze as her soft hand rested on top of his head, the warm healing glow that followed pulling him into a sudden, deep sleep. She tried to pull back but was stopped by his white necklace, which had intertwined with hers. She untangled their necklaces and bent away the tear that fell on the Tui marking over his wrist.

"I love you, Sokka. Always. I love you more than you'll ever know," she wept, her lips seeking a brief purchase of his before she pulled away. "Thank you for everything. May the Spirits keep you happy."

The physical belongings she had were very few, but she was still leaving everything behind. No matter; she had greatly served this place. All that was left was a greater sacrifice, not the mere everyday ones. She was not abandoning her tribe, besides; the journey ahead of her was a new one, that's all.

There was one crucial belonging of hers that dropped out of her pouch without her notice: the extensive scroll that rattled her world slipped, unfurling as it rolled under the bed, unseen by the young woman who was on her way, gazing tearfully at the palace— her childhood home— to forever etch its image into her memory. She did not turn back to look at her lover; she had every contour of his face memorized already.

Meanwhile, the moonlight spilled over the text she left behind.

I have been told that you do not know who you truly are. I don't know whether that is true or not, but I do know that you openly support the Moon Temple and the Akna. The fact of the matter is that you are the very destitute creature you feel so sorry for. You are a danger to the Water Tribe— a repository of rebellion and regret. Do you not believe me? Sit your parents down and ask them to swear on the Spirits and tell you the truth behind your impure birth and birthright, and they will tell you just how much your biological parents loved you if they were so eager to abandon you in your vulnerable state and left you to starve.

You might think of yourself as the incarnation of compassion for sending aid to the South, but the reality is that you are the destroyer of our peace. It is not enough to send aid to strengthen the South; you must know your place and have the decency to not deprive the South of its rightful ruler. You threw morsels of food at us like we're beggars only to turn our boy into your slave, and now, he has lost all pride and is lapping at the dust of your feet and pity-fucking you like a shameless hyena-dog. To call you a respectable woman is blasphemous.

Your tribe was notorious in the past for seeking to deprive the South of its independence and merging it back with yours. I wonder if part of the reason for you ensnaring my grandson and marrying him secretly is your scheme to gain permanent access and control over the South. Either way, you have committed an irredeemable mistake that sent our prestige rolling out into the streets, and your punishment must be of such a degree that you yourself are thrown onto the streets.

Because of you, my pregnant daughter-in-law is suffering over her son's fate and neglecting her health and the health of her unborn child, and—Spirits forbid— if anything happens to her, my son will not survive another minute. Kanna and I will never be the same if we lose them, that is, if we make it out alive first. I refuse to let my family suffer for the sins of another, and I refuse to sit by and do nothing when our bloodline is on the path to ruin because of my incompetent fool of a disbelieving grandson falling prey to lust and heresy.

Know this: you destroyed the sanctity of a place of worship. Your kind is doomed for loneliness and abandonment. You will never be a part of our family no matter what you choose to do, no matter if you play him like a puppet, no matter even if you bear my grandson's seed. At most, you can only be his whore, but not his wife.

It's not too late to fix your mistake, however; the public does not yet know of your marriage with my grandson. There are people who are rooting for the two of you, but they are ignorant about who you really are. If you have what it takes to be called a true ruler, if you have something called a sense of righteousness, and if you wish that my family should be alive and that Sokka is not cut from the family, if your love for him is pure and true, you will remove yourself from the path to the throne and announce to everyone that you are the Akna. If you do not disclose this, I myself will reveal it to the world and have you dragged to the streets and set ablaze for your blasphemous existence. Your people will spit in your face as you burn and rot, and Arnook's heart will break and might even fail him.

Even if you decide to rebel, I don't know what you will gain by deciding to keep the throne; not a single layman admires you for you anyway. Just like Arnook, you will live your life in constant hell every day, not knowing when and where your life will end, who will break in and slice your throat.

Know your place and exercise honesty unless you seek to have Sokka's disownment documents and Kya's and Hakoda's blood on your hands.

Good riddance,

Pakku of the South