Chapter 23 – Interlude

Author's Note: In which Theseus must deal with the aftermath of Mortis... Also, just so everyone is clear, this is, primarily, Theseus' story, okay? He's only one person. He can't magically fix everything overnight, so please don't expect him to. :)

~ Amina Gila

After returning to the cruiser, the four of them find themselves seated in Obi-Wan's cabin. They already made the hyperspace jump to head back to Coruscant, though it'll be some time before they arrive. Thankfully, because Theseus is not looking forwards to it in the least. This conversation will be bad enough. Except, no one seems to know what to say, a heavy silence settling over them. Whether everything that happened on Mortis was a vision or not, it felt like reality, and no one emerged unscathed.

"I don't remember what happened," Anakin says finally, drawing an instant chorus of "what?" from the others. "I – when I woke up, the Father told me he... did something to my memory. I don't know what happened. The last thing I remember, I saw Master Qui-Gon and was heading for the Well of the Dark Side. Everything else is just... gone."

Oh. That's why he felt normal again. After using the Dark Side, he should have been struggling, but no. It was all gone when they'd arrived. Theseus is glad because he himself is rather unstable. They don't have the ability to deal with two unstable siblings right now.

Theseus isn't sure what's going to happen once they get back to Coruscant, but he probably should be more worried than he is. He feels a lot more... at peace than he has in a very long time. Maybe since even before the war. But even so, that doesn't mean he's looking forwards to a conversation with Ahsoka or his mother, for that matter, about what happened, so he's glad Obi-Wan's currently more focused on Anakin.

And – wait. "So, I wasn't the only one seeing ghosts?" Theseus asks dryly.

"Seeing ghosts?" Ahsoka yelps. "What?"

"I might have encountered Revan a few times, though I'm not entirely sure that it wasn't the Son playing tricks on me."

"And you have some serious explaining to do," she warns, eyes narrowing.

He's never been this nervous before. "Well, I guess I've had... questions for a long time, but I finally realized – accepted – that the Jedi aren't always right."

"So, that's why you spontaneously decided to turn to the Dark Side?!" Ahsoka screeches.

"Well, I wasn't thinking clearly. And I know that's not an excuse."

"No, it's not," she agrees with a scowl, crossing her arms, "So what've you decided now?"

"I need some time to think about it," he admits.

The Togruta huffs. "Well, whatever you decide, don't even think about doing anything so stupid ever again."

"Don't worry, I have no plans on Falling again." Not as though he did in the first place.

"I will have to speak to the Council about all of this once we get back," Obi-Wan speaks up, "They might want to talk to you."

"Sounds fun." As long as he can keep his cool the entire time with a dozen adults staring at him like he committed a crime on the worst level – which he did, to them – including his mother, he'll be fine. Otherwise, he rather trusts Anakin to come fish him out of prison.

**w**

Athea Shan knew something was going to go wrong on the mission to investigate the ancient distress signal, but she was never expecting this. Theseus Fell. Her own son turned to the Dark Side. Yes, she knew he had problems, especially after the war started, but she wasn't expecting this. She's been so busy with the war herself, recently, that she hasn't really had much time at all to talk to him anymore. The few meetings they used to have at the beginning of the war have dwindled even further now, so she hardly ever sees him. She really needs a chance to go talk to him. She had no idea he was struggling, but that does nothing to quell her rising guilt.

"Mm... when my padawan, he was, much of Dooku, I saw in him," admits Yoda.

"What do you mean?" asks Athea with a frown.

"Always drawn to the Dark Side, he has been."

"This is concerning," Windu asserts at last.

"Perhaps he needs some time off the battlefield," Athea suggests slowly. "I know he's been taking the war hard." It's a known fact that the war is hard on all the children, including him. It worries her what the next generation will be like, though there's little any of them can do aside from bringing the war to a fast end.

"We should keep him here at the Temple on meditative leave," Windu suggests. "It is our best chance of helping him."

"Something else you should know. He's been having... visions," Athea says slowly. It's not something she ever brought up before, but now she thinks maybe she should have. They may have more to do with what happened than she realizes.

"Visions?" echoes Mundi.

"He told me a few times that he was having visions of Revan," replies Athea, "Perhaps they were more serious than he implied."

"Hmm, mentioned this to us sooner, you should have. Concerning, this is," Yoda declares.

"With the war, I never thought it to be a major concern." She was worried about it, but there was so much else going on... Maybe if she'd talked about it earlier, the whole mess could've been avoided.

"He never told me," Obi-Wan states with a frown.

"I imagine he didn't want to worry you."

"These visions, what were they about?" Windu inquires.

"Mostly of the past," she replies. "Of the Mandalorian Wars and Darth Revan. I thought they were occasional, but now I wonder if they were more frequent than he ever let on."

"The darkness is a part of him now," sighs Obi-Wan, "It isn't something he'll be able to get rid of so easily. He needs to learn to control it, so he doesn't give in to it again."

Murmurs of agreement ripple around the room. "Perhaps Windu can assist him," suggests Plo. "He is a Jedi Master with a deep understanding and control of the Dark Side."

"To teach him of the Dark Side now would put him at risk," objects Mundi.

"Would it put him any more at risk than he already is?" Obi-Wan shoots back. "He's unstable now. I've taught him everything I could, but if he cannot find balance, I can't teach it to him."

"You did what you could," Athea reminds him firmly. He doesn't need to blame himself for it. The fault was of many, and she's always found blame useless. It won't change anything, only cause more division, and hurt more people. "We all should have seen it coming."

"Clouded by the Dark Side, these things are," Yoda reminds sadly.

There is a moment of solemn silence as everyone considers the situation. Athea could have lost her son to the Dark Side today, and no one saw it coming. Her, least of all. She should have been more observant. "I will speak with him," she says at last. "I understand that studying Form VII is a process consisting of many risks and trials, but I am confident it will only make him stronger."

"I must ask that this remain a Council matter," Obi-Wan adds. "It will not be easy for Theseus if everyone hears what happened."

**w**

The first chance she gets, Athea heads off to Obi-Wan's apartment in search of her son. He opens the door almost instantly when she knocks. She steps into the room, the door sliding closed behind them before she pulls him into a hug. It's been far too long since she actually was able to spend time with him.

"How are you doing?" she queries, as they take a seat on the couch.

"Bored," Theseus deadpans, "Dying of boredom. After all the battles I fought in, I thought I'd at least die doing something heroic, but nooooo..."

She chuckles quietly at his overdramatic attitude. "You haven't even been back here at the Temple for a day."

"Yeah, well hearing how long I might get stuck here kind of killed all interest in everything I do and don't have to do."

"Well, you are behind in your classes so that's something you can use this time to catch up on," she says, ignoring him rolling his eyes in the background, "And then there's those... toys I'm sure you can play with." She gestures to the machines lying in a pile on the floor. He didn't used to be so sloppy. Must've picked it up from Anakin.

"Those are not toys!" He sounds amused and offended at once. "Besides, Anakin and Ahsoka are going to be gone on another mission before I know it, and then I'll really have nothing to do here."

"So, it's a good thing that I'll probably be here at the Temple for a bit of time, now," Athea muses, smiling slightly.

"You will be?" he asks, hopefully.

"Unless something changes." She really hopes that doesn't happen. She's been away from him for far too long.

"I hope not," he murmurs as a far more serious expression passing over his face for a moment, which reminds her of how old he really is. And how he's still seen far too much for someone who's only fifteen, nearly sixteen. "I've missed this," he finally admits quietly.

"So have I," she says, a nostalgic silence falling over them for a few long moments, before she decides to change topics, "So, beyond schoolwork and your machines, and the new lightsaber form Master Windu will be teaching you, I'm pretty sure you have an important meditation assignment?" Although he always struggled with it, he'll have to learn now. Meditation is extremely important when a Jedi has lost their way, and following the Force is essential in finding balance.

He groans. "Oh no, don't even start."

"You'll have to learn it, Theseus. Meditation is important, even if you don't like it. And, if you're up to it, I would like to hear your side of what happened."

He sighs. "Really?"

"Your master explained to the Council, but I want to know what prompted it. You've been struggling for a while."

"I get so confused sometimes." Theseus settles back on the couch, clearly uncomfortable, but at least he's talking. That in and of itself is a good sign. Athea has dealt with other nearly Fallen Jedi, and all things considered, he seems to be taking it the best. "Should we really be fighting the war? And if we are, then... what are we doing wrong? And what do we need to do? The war is dragging on, and more and more people are dying."

"I understand your point," she agrees. But that doesn't mean she agrees with what he did.

"And there's the whole attachment thing," Theseus says, "I mean... I get it to a point, but I can't just not care about anyone."

"It's not that you can't about anyone. It's a matter of learning how to control it, so it doesn't interfere with duty," Athea explains.

"Why are you and Anakin the only Jedi who ever explain it like that?"

Now that is something she's always wondered, too. Others make it sound like they have to be perfect. "I don't know, maybe because they don't fully understand it themselves?" she suggests.

"Oh niiiiiice. No wonder all the padawans and younglings are so hopelessly lost half the time when they're learning things," he grumbles, "Well, at least I usually was."

"Hmm, possibly," she agrees, "Those visions you were telling me about... are you still having those?"

"... Yes. From time to time."

"You never really talked to me about it," she comments. "I didn't realize how common... or upsetting they were."

"It wasn't really important. You have many other things to worry about." Well. She should have expected he was going to think that.

"Theseus, it's not selfish to ask for help if you need it," she chides, "As Jedi, it is our duty to take care of everyone else, but we can't do that unless we take care of ourselves too."

He nods his understanding and looks away thoughtfully.

"Now why don't we –"

"Don't say it!"

"– go meditate together."

**w**

As it turns out, training with Windu isn't as bad Theseus was afraid it might be. Only it's darker than the forms of lightsaber combat he's used to using. Vaapad is more than a fighting style, Windu had told him; it is a state of mind, a path that leads through the penumbra of the Dark Side. Theseus really knows what he means now that he's actually practicing using it.

As far as he's concerned, it basically is using the Dark Side, except for a good purpose. So then... what's even the difference between using this form and actually drawing on the Dark Side while fighting? Yes, he gets that it's dangerous, but there's numerous Jedi who have learned this, and they never Fell. Of course, there was that one Jedi Master who did but that was only one. He's really not sure that he gets this whole commotion about using the Dark Side since Windu basically does on a daily basis but calls it something else.

The only thing he finds somewhat challenging about the Form is that it requires a pretty much constant use of the Force while fighting, something he's never been the greatest at, though it's starting to become easier.

Theseus brings up his lightsaber to block Windu's as they spar, noting somewhere in the back of his mind that they're literally two of the only Jedi in the Order with purple lightsabers. And now he's learning Vaapad too. Now he's getting too many similarities to Windu. That's concerning. He doesn't want to be anything like him once he becomes a Jedi Master. He pushes the stupid thought from mind, turning his focus back to the fight.

He allows himself to be immersed entirely in the Force, using it at it's entirely like how he's pretty sure he needs to be as he lets it guide his moves. And he has to admit he finds himself enjoying the fight maybe more than he should be – though he's not really sure since apparently that's sort of a part of this form. Okay, he really has a million questions by now.

Windu wins the duel again – Theseus would be shocked if he didn't – before deciding that they're done for the day.

"How is this so much different from actually using the Dark Side?" he asks finally, bracing himself to hear a half nonsensical Jedi ramble in response. Revan was right about one thing – he needs to learn the Force in its fullest. He feels so much more whole now that he's not hiding from himself.

"Sith totally lose themselves in the Dark Side, focusing on their hate and anger. Everything they do is for selfish purposes. Vaapad only uses the internal and natural darkness of every person – which can then be used as a weapon for the Light Side. The dark emotions drawn on must be released to the Force as soon as the fight is over. It is only done for the greater good."

That sounds very much like a long way of saying 'we use the Dark Side but for a good reason'. Okay, that's basically what Theseus is planning to do, maybe a little bit more so than uses of Vaapad are allowed. Not that he has any intention of telling anyone that.

**w**

"I can't understand how he could've done this," Ahsoka grumbles. Theseus literally turned against everything they've been raised believing for as long as she – and he – can remember. It doesn't even make any sense.

"You always see things as black and white, Ahsoka." Anakin sounds tired, but come to think of it, she can hardly think of a time he hasn't. The war is taking a toll on him as much as it is everyone else.

"What do you mean?" she asks, frowning.

"I mean that sometimes, there's a point to which good and bad become blurred, and people can do bad things for a good cause. It doesn't make it right, but it doesn't make the person evil or bad, either."

She does understand what he's saying, but it's hard to see it that way. It's against everything she's ever been taught, and going against those beliefs, even for someone she cares for deeply, still feels like a betrayal on some level.

"He made a mistake," Anakin continues quietly, "But it wasn't his fault. The Son tricked him."

Like he did Anakin. She still isn't sure how to feel about it. She knows, somewhere deep inside, that anyone can Fall, but never would she have expected to hear that Anakin had. He doesn't remember any of it, whether for better or worse. She wants to know what happened, but at the same time, she really doesn't. "True," Ahsoka agrees grudgingly. But sometimes, being angry and avoiding Theseus is easier than trying to sort through the tangled mess of emotions she feels towards her best friend now.

"He needs our help. This... our family is clearly a mess," Anakin sighs. Family. He called them family. Yes, she always considered them that in a way, and she knew he did too but hearing it out loud is something totally different.

"I don't even know how to go about fixing it." Especially since to do that, she'll have to actually talk to Theseus, and she's not sure that she's ready for that yet.

"We'll figure it out. Together."

Ahsoka nods as she leans back against the couch next to her master. She's not sure what they're going to do now, and she still feels lost, but at least she knows Anakin will always be here to help. She scoots over and snuggles up against his side, and he drapes an arm around her shoulders.

They're definitely a family of some sort, even if they're a very disjointed one. Anakin is her sort-of older brother, and Theseus is her best friend. And Obi-Wan is their sort of uncle/father/way-too-old older brother, maybe, she's not sure exactly.

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