Chapter 24 – A Lost Padawan

Author's Note: In which the war goes on and Theseus is still at the Temple. :P

~ Amina Gila

"I should be doing something useful," Theseus declares flatly. It's been two weeks since Mortis and being stuck at the Temple this long is driving him insane. Well, mainly because he doesn't know when he'll be able to go back out on the front, but still. Plus, it feels so wrong for the others to be off fighting while he's stuck here. There's a war going on, and while he has his own problems to deal with, it feels irresponsible not to be participating.

"You are doing something useful," Obi-Wan reminds.

"Meditating all day? Necessary maybe, but boring. And it's not helping anyone except myself."

"Which, apparently, you've been heavily neglecting lately."

Great. This again. It's irritating even if it's not entirely wrong. "Well, I think two weeks has been long enough for me to at least start helping again."

Obi-Wan gives him an unimpressed look. "You're not ready to go back to the front lines yet. You're still very... unbalanced at the moment."

"Thanks," Theseus mutters.

"It was an observation," he replies. "You're still very distracted, and I don't want things to get as far as they did on Mortis." In other words, he's scared and being a stubborn idiot and refusing to admit it, not that Theseus will call him out on it. He can't blame him anyway.

"They won't," he promises. "I've figured out the worst of it."

"I've been too focused on the war this entire time," Obi-Wan argues, and Theseus suddenly gets the feeling he's about to say is making him feel uncomfortable. "I haven't been giving you the attention I should have." Theseus can't entirely deny that, but is a very, very strange conversation to be having with his master. They don't talk about things like this. They just don't. Obi-Wan avoids anything emotional like the plague, and Theseus prefers never to mention it unless it's absolutely necessary, thank you very much.

"Well, maybe?" he concedes reluctantly. It's difficult to talk about, but it's the truth, and he knows lies will only serve to worsen the situation. Nothing will be resolved if they don't talk truthfully, as much as he would like to avoid it.

Obi-Wan is quiet for a long moment, expression solemn. "I don't want that to happen again," he says finally, "So that's why I think you should stay at the Temple right now. I don't think you're ready to handle being on the front yet."

"I understand," he agrees quietly. He's certain he's ready, but it's his master who has the final say in the matter. Given what happened and how they nearly lost one another, Theseus isn't surprised of how overprotective his master is being. It's almost welcome, if he's being honest. However irritating, it's a reminder that he actually cares, which is welcome after what happened. "Still, I want to help somehow."

"Well, you could help with 212th, if you don't take time off your studies," suggests Obi-Wan after a moment of consideration.

Theseus perks up. "Really?

"Don't get carried away," Obi-Wan warns with the hint of a smile, "And I'll be going on another mission. I had to tell you in case I don't come back."

His heart skips a beat, and he jumps up, stepping towards his master. "No. Don't say that. You have to." The thought of his master dying is absolutely unthinkable. He can't... leave. Theseus has lost many friends before, but never – never someone who's like his family.

"It's one of the most dangerous missions," Obi-Wan says quietly, "I need you to know it's a possibility."

He swallows hard. No, he can't think about this. "You'll come back like you always do," he insists, not sure who he's trying to convince more.

"If it's the will of the Force," his master reminds quietly.

"What is this mission anyway, if you can tell me?" Theseus inquires.

"We're going to rescue a Jedi Master well behind enemy lines." He sounds unusually grim, and Theseus knows whatever the mission is, it's very dangerous. He wishes so badly he could go, but he's starting to learn how to cope with his family being in tight situations and trusting in the Force to bring them back. If he didn't, he'd probably go insane. "The rest, I can detail later. It's extremely risky."

"Who else is going?" he wonders.

"Anakin will be with me. Others will come in for backup if we need it," Obi-Wan replies.

"What about Ahsoka?" Theseus asks, tensing. If it's so dangerous that even Obi-Wan doesn't want him coming...

"Anakin wants her staying here," assures Obi-Wan, and Theseus lets out a sigh of relief. After she literally died on Mortis, the thought of her being in a situation like this when he can't help... "I need to leave now to prepare for the briefing," the Jedi Masters decides, standing up.

"May the Force be with you, Master," Theseus murmurs as he watches him head out of the apartment. He can only hope that his master and padawan-brother will come out in one piece.

**w**

"I still can't believe you snuck along like that on a mission so crucial," Theseus grumbles as he walks through the halls of the Temple next to Ahsoka. He's still getting over his total freakout when he realized that she wasn't at the Temple anymore, apparently having decided to go without permission. Of all the reckless, stupid things she's done, this is the worst.

"It worked out in the end," Ahsoka says flippantly.

Something about the tone is driving him crazy. How can she have such a carefree attitude about this? He can't even imagine how much Anakin must have freaked out when he realized she came. "What if it didn't?" he retorts.

"Well, it did, so you can stop worrying about it." A hint of irritation is creeping into her tone, reminding him again of how different things have been between the two of them since Mortis. He wants to do something about it, but now definitely isn't the time, and besides, he's not ready to bring up the whole mess again. He wants to let it rest for a bit. He wants it to be in the past, but he knows it won't fix itself.

"You could've gotten yourself killed."

"Come on, I'm in dangerous situations all the time," Ahsoka shoots back.

"You didn't even know the details of the plan in the first place," Theseus objects harshly.

"It worked out in the end. Besides, it should be up to me when and how I put my life in danger," she snaps.

"You're still a padawan!"

"So? It's still my life," she snaps.

"We have masters for a reason, in case you've forgotten," he reminds.

"It's not like you don't do stupid things all the time too!"

"Yes, but nothing like that."

"The mission might have ended up failing altogether if I hadn't gone," Ahsoka retaliates, "Because Master Piell gave me the coordinates! No one else would have gotten there on time."

Theseus sighs. "That's not really my point. It's just... did you ever think about how Anakin would feel when he realized you were there?"

"I'm on the battlefield all the time!"

"That's totally different. Besides you just..." It hurts to say it. It's something no one ever voices. "You just died, okay? And this wasn't a normal battle. It's a stealth mission, and if you were captured..." He doesn't even let his mind wander that far. Some things are too terrible to think about, and the thought of Ahsoka being hurt makes him sick.

Ahsoka huffs. "I get your point, but you're over-worrying. I can handle myself fine." She really isn't acting like she gets it, or at least isn't that bothered by it. Either that, or she's being stubborn right now because she's annoyed with him. He doesn't have a chance to say anything else before the Togruta speaks up again. "I have some lessons to attend. We can talk more later." She turns, hurrying off down the hall.

Back to avoiding him now. A quiet sigh escapes Theseus, and he finds he's too worn out to bother following her or trying to continue the conversation anyway.

**w**

Theseus' mind wanders back to his recent lessons with Windu, not long after the Citadel mission. He's still struggling in learning complete control of his emotions, though he is admittedly getting better. The one thing he has a very difficult time with is his temper. Generally, if Jedi talk during sparring, it's only to give advice to the other person. Windu is sometimes the same way, but he never gives any forewarning to when he starts intentionally being as aggravating as possible, intentionally throwing him off balance and upsetting him. It's testing his limits, but he can't figure out how to control himself.

Before when he talked to Obi-Wan, the only advise he got was to release it into the Force – something which... doesn't really work. When you're sparring, he can't take the time to breathe and let go. That takes a moment of concentration which he can't afford. He needs to find a better way of handling his emotions. It's hard when he's dancing so close to the Dark Side whenever it happens, which is precisely Windu's point.

Theseus swings his blade up to parry Anakin's next blow as the two of them continue their sparring match. He needs to focus now and think about his questions from lessons with Windu later, or he's definitely going to lose this match. Anakin suddenly twists the lightsaber out of his hands, and it sails across the room, flying out of his reach before he can catch it. Well. That's a move that should never have been so easy to work on a curved lightsaber.

"I guess you win this round," grumbles Theseus as he goes to retrieve his saber.

"I thought Master Windu was teaching you?" Anakin quips.

"He only just started, and I was distracted. Once I master the form, I'll beat you every time."

"Don't get cocky."

"I'm not. Yet." He sits down on the floor to catch his breath. They'd been sparring for a while, and as always, he's a little worn out. It's not in battle where he has to keep pushing on. Once he goes back to the front, it's going to take some getting used to again. He's been in a peaceful environment for a while now, and it's making him wonder how he's even going to survive once the war is over. He's not used to it, and it honestly upsets him to think of how many padawans are going to have this problem afterwards, though it doesn't even feel like the war is ever going to end.

"Sometimes, I wonder when the war is ever going to be over."

"I wish I could answer that," Anakin replies quietly.

"And what'll happen afterwards."

"We'll continue doing what we always have been. Whatever we have to, to restore peace." Which answers nothing.

"I know, but..." It doesn't really say what things will be like. That's not something they'll ever know until the time comes. And for whatever reason, whenever he thinks about when the war will end, it doesn't seem like it will for a very, very long time. Either he's being pessimistic, or he can't sense that far. It's not surprising. The Dark Side clouds everything, and it's only been worsening. Besides, precognitive abilities have never been his strength.

"It seems so far off, like the time will never come," Anakin deduces.

"Yeah," he agrees with a sigh.

"You two gave up already?" Ahsoka calls as she sweeps into the room.

"It's called taking a break," Theseus calls back.

"Does anyone want a triple spar?" she asks with a smirk.

"In other words, everyone fights everyone and hopes we don't behead each other? No thanks," Theseus replies, "If I'm headless, I won't be going back to the front any time soon."

"Or at all. You'd have a bigger problem," Anakin quips.

"Yeah, like the best method of re-attaching it."

"You're insane, you know that?" Ahsoka snips.

"Thank you," he replies with a grin.

"Up for another round, anyone?" asks Anakin, standing up.

"That's why I'm here," agrees Ahsoka. "What about you, Theseus?"

"Didn't we just finish deciding –"

Ahsoka groans dramatically. "Okay fine, then you can watch from the sidelines."

"Like I've been doing the past few months."

"Month. One month."

"Whatever."

He stands off to the side watching as Ahsoka pulls out her lightsabers, shifting into her fighting stance. Moments later, her and Anakin are dueling. He lets his mind wander back to what he was thinking about before as he watches. He needs to improve faster and at least make his time off the front worthwhile.

Of course, Anakin still wins the match. He pretty much always does, unless he slips up or is very exhausted.

"When someone won't stop driving you up the wall, like when you're sparing or something, how do you deal with it without getting too aggressive?" Theseus pipes up randomly.

"What's that got to do with anything?" asks Ahsoka.

"Just wondering."

"Ignore them," Anakin blurts out.

Theseus gives him a disbelieving look. "That hardly works."

"Anakin told me to breathe and count to ten – but I only have the patience to count to five – and ask myself it that's really what he'd want me to do," she chirps.

Theseus snorts. "Would you have time to do that in a lightsaber duel?"

Anakin rolls his eyes. "Honestly, I thought you'd use it to fuel yourself."

"What do you do?"

"I can't even believe you're asking me this question, but if you really have to know, I tune it out. Focus. And then be sure to drive them crazy by not giving them what they want."

"Now that you mention it, that sounds like a good idea," he concedes.

"Did you hear that things are picking up on Felucia again?" asks Ahsoka, changing the topic entirely.

"No, I didn't," Theseus says. The battle on that planet has been dragging out since practically the beginning of the war. Who controls that planet effects a lot of the surrounding systems, so no matter how close either side comes to losing, they keep on fighting.

"Master Plo is there right now, and we might get called in soon," informs Anakin.

**w**

Theseus knows something is wrong the moment Anakin steps into the main room of Obi-Wan's apartment. Theseus looks up at him briefly, in a silent nod of acknowledgement, before returning his attention to the call with Cody. They're discussing strategy for another battle, so he can't lose focus right now.

Anakin paces back and forth near the doorway as he waits, tension and fear radiating from his Force-signature. "I will speak with the General," promises Cody finally.

"I'll talk to you later, Cody," nods Theseus, finally disconnecting the call and turning to his padawan brother. "What's going on?"

"Ahsoka disappeared."

The words freeze him – and his mind – in place for a moment, before a chilling feeling of dread washes over him. "What?" His voice sounds faint, strained, even to his own ears.

"She was leading one of the attacks on Felucia," Anakin explains in a rush, "She stayed behind the clones, and we couldn't find her after the battle. There were no traces, only her lightsabers near where she was last spotted."

"Do you think...?" he asks finally, not even wanting to finish voicing his thoughts. Memories of his argument with her right after she got back from Citadel flash through his mind. Why does it seem like all these things keep happening to her all of a sudden? More than likely, the people who got her were the Separatists.

"I imagine they would have taken her lightsabers, though," Anakin points out.

"What can we do?" They have to find her, no matter what. It's wrong for her to be gone, and they have to bring her back. Somehow. They'll search the entire galaxy if they have to. Neither of them will rest until they find her.

"We'll find her," Anakin promises, a fierce determination and desperation in his voice. And Theseus wants to let himself believe that for now, because he can't accept there's a possibility they won't. Ahsoka is his best friend, and they've stuck with each other through everything. Even if things have been rough as of late. He never had a chance to make up for it to her, and now the knowledge of the likelihood he never will ... No. He can't believe that.

"No leads? No nothing?" Theseus presses. "Where do we start?"

"Wherever we can. If she's spotted anywhere in Republic space, we'll hear about it."

He finds himself struck by the instant instinctive desire to comfort him – Anakin was Ahsoka's master, after all – but he doesn't know what to say or how to say it. The reassurance that Ahsoka knows how to take care of herself means absolutely nothing. She's not quite sixteen yet even, and Theseus knows especially in the farther parts of the galaxy, there are a lot of very bad things that could happen to a female Togruta, none of them things he's going to dwell on.

He immediately forces away the instinctive thought of how he should have done something to help. There was nothing he could have done. Even if he was on the fronts, he wouldn't have been there. Even so, it's another painful reminder of how fragile life is, and how important it is to stay on good terms with people. He could never forgive himself if he didn't have time to properly talk things out with Ahsoka. It's a mistake he won't make again.

"I'm going to look for her," Anakin decides. "Will you come?"

"How could I not?"

He stands up, walking over to Anakin and embracing him. It's a pretty small measure of comfort given the enormity of the situation, but it's the most either of them can do for each other for the moment. Now, they have a padawan to find.

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