Chapter 32 – Homeward Bound

Author's Note: In which Theseus plans his escape and a familiar face shows up. :)

~ Amina Gila

Since Theseus started staying in Vizsla's tent instead of the other one he was in before, he's been able to feel his kyber crystal.

He'd been pondering the entire time he was here how he'd ever be able to get it back especially since he didn't even know where it was, but without knowing it, Vizsla accidently gave him the answer to both questions. Because apparently – and thankfully – the fact that Jedi actually bond with their lightsaber crystals isn't a very known fact. The Mandalorians never had a clue, anyway, or they most assuredly wouldn't have left it here. So, he can feel it, but only looking around briefly he hasn't been able to figure out exactly where it might be.

But everyone is currently safely away from the tent for the moment, so this might be one of the only chances Theseus gets at the moment to try and find it. If he gets caught... well, that's going to undo all the progress he's made. He can't afford to be seen.

Hearting pounding and with a final glance at the tent flap, he turns and slips deeper into the tent, the part where he really isn't supposed to be going. He scans over the things piled there, but hardly surprisingly, on first glance, he doesn't see anything. Not that he was expecting to. There's a lot of weapons and odds and ends that he doesn't care to look through in much detail.

He starts carefully sorting through the things, trying to keep them mostly in order. He wishes it were easier to find his lightsaber's exact location. He has to keep stopping and listening to make sure no one is approaching. Now would be a really good time to have BD here to watch.

He keeps sorting through the things, and finally reaching the bottom of the pile. The familiar hilt gleams up at him in the dim lighting of the tent. At last! Theseus reaches down, hand closing over the weapon. Finally.

If only he could take it with him, but there's no way he can do that. It's not like he'd have anywhere to hide it, and its disappearance would likely be noticed. But at least he's one step closer to an escape plan – even if he's not sure when he'll implement it.

It'll be difficult to get his lightsaber out of all this... mess in the middle of the night without waking anyone up, but it'll have to work. And then somehow get to BD and then steal a ship. At least he's noticed the positions and rotations of the guards for the most part, but that doesn't mean it's going to be easy.

Suddenly, the feel of an approaching presence hits him. In a flash, the lightsaber is back on the floor, and he hastily covers it back up again before scampering back towards the entrance to the tent. Barely in the nick of time.

**w**

It's been almost two weeks since he ended up here on Carlac, and Bo finally demanded she introduce him to a more people, since he's really only been hanging out with her whenever she has time. So, here he is.

Also, he might appreciate this a little more if he didn't somehow end up getting stuck on babysitting duty. Well, he was trying to be polite, and somehow one thing led to the next, and now, he's supposed to be watching over the daughter of the head of Clan Wren. It seems like mainly members of Clans Vizsla, Wren, and Saxon that are part of Death Watch. Not that any of these names have a whole lot of meaning to him.

Sabine Wren, the not-quite-one-year-old that he was put in charge of babysitting, is crawling around on the floor of the tent in front of him, seeming fascinated with... he has no idea. It's not that Theseus hasn't been put on youngling duty before – he has – but he has no idea how to handle them. What is he even supposed to do, other than make sure she doesn't crawl outside and freeze to death?

Babysitting younglings was never exactly something he liked doing a lot – especially not since he got put on duty for that so much after he was on leave at the Temple after Mortis – but he'll have to do the best he can. Better than being bored for hours, he supposes.

"Who thought it was a good idea to bring their baby to a place like this?" he huffs aloud, knowing full well there's no one here to answer the question.

Even if he's been here for so long, it's so... weird to keep seeing more and more of their human side, like actually having families and raising children and such. And he has to say, with children being raised in an environment like this, it's not even surprising they don't have any problem doing the kinds of things they do when they're older.

Sabine looks up at him at the sound of his voice, replying with a series of nonsensical babbling sounds. It sounds like a mix of Mando'a, Basic, and baby language. And she almost seems to be expecting a response of some kind, but he's not quite sure.

She continues to study him when he doesn't respond and continues speaking in a very serious manner that nearly makes him laugh. Sabine loses interest after a while and stands again, stumbling a few steps forwards before losing her balance and plopping back down in the middle of the floor with an utterly bewildered expression.

Theseus attempts to cover a laugh with a cough though he's pretty sure she wouldn't care.

She crawls over to... something, picking it up and starting to play with it. In the process she knocks over a pile of some sort of weapons that Theseus personally really isn't sure why they're being left in an environment with little children. She lets out a gleeful scream for no apparent reason as they clatter to the ground.

He sighs. This is going to be a very long day.

**w**

Seriously, why does it seem like Mandalorians are incapable of solving anything except through the end of a blaster? Or a fist?

Theseus throws another punch at Anastasia, dodging it when she swings back at him. He has to admit that she is fast, and a very good fighter. She definitely has better training in physical combat than what they get at the Temple. He did end up learning more from Anakin, but he has to admit, at least to himself, that if not for being able to often sense her next move in the Force a split second before she attacks him each time, he'd probably have lost the fight already.

They'd were having another passive-aggressive conversation and they both kind of annoyed each other a few times too many. Somehow, that'd resulted in the decision to spar – or more like use each other as punching bags. Not very Jedi-like, sure, but it's not like Obi-Wan is around to lecture him about it. Besides, he was kind of bored anyway, so...

They exchange a few more blows before Anastasia manages to pin him down on the ground, punching him repeatedly.

Fine. He's been limiting how much Force he uses in the fight since it wouldn't really be fair that way, but if she's going to be like this... He shoves her off him – partly with the Force – and promptly tackles her again without giving her a chance to recover. He twists one of her arms behind her back, pinning her in place. Anastasia tries to shove him off again, but thanks to their position, that makes it next to impossible.

"I won," he announces smugly, conveniently ignoring that he only succeeded because he used the Force.

"Only because you cheated," she hisses.

"You kind of do have the advantage of armor anyway," he shoots back.

"Stop being a sore loser," she snaps.

"Part of fighting is using all your abilities to your advantage," he snarks.

"If I did that, I could've shot you from the start."

"It wouldn't have been fair unless I had a blaster, too."

"That also means you using the Force wasn't fair. You know that, right?"

Is that literally what he said? Umm... "Oh, did I? Maybe I see a difference between external armor and something... more inborn." Lame reasoning, sure, but so what?

She scoffs. "You don't want to admit that you were outmatched."

"Or maybe you're the one who doesn't want to."

"You know, you're impossible," Anastasia huffs.

"So, I've been told," he shoots back.

And he has to admit, at least to himself, that their relationship has developed to something beyond the point of simply toleration. Apparently Vizsla's... brilliant idea of forcing them to live in the same tent and everything – even if they haven't actually talked to each other about anything like he told them to – is actually working. Theseus isn't sure if that's a good thing.

**w**

He thinks it's been too long since he was at the Temple, at the place he used to call home. Spending time surrounded by these people is taking its toll on his mind. As a Jedi, he is sensitive to those he's surrounded by, and the constant craving for violence is something he can't entirely shield. It's partly the attitudes, too. He really, really wants to go home, but there's that part of his mind that... doesn't, and it scares him.

Because, in some ways, he doesn't want to leave this place. Theseus would very much like to stay living somewhere with his family, somewhere without war. Only now is he beginning to understand what normal families are like, and he can't deny that he wants that. No, Vizsla and Anastasia will never really, truly understand him, or accept him for who he is, but the Jedi aren't really different. He's not entirely the same as the rest of them.

If Theseus is being honest with himself, it seems impossible to find a proper sense of internal balance around anyone. It's as true here as it is with the Jedi. Everyone wants him to change and suit them, but – but that's not what he is.

Sometimes at night, he sneaks out of the tent to look at the sky, trying to pinpoint which star is Coruscant. Which one leads to home. He aches to be with his friends again. He misses their presences, everything. He's still working on the details of planning an escape, which he's since decided includes trying to earn the Death Watch's trust, though he can't help but wonder. to a point. if that isn't use making him want to leave even less.

But... at the same time, escaping almost feels like a dream. It's been so long, will things even be the same?

The thought of leaving Bo hurts, and if he's being honest, it's true for his father and sister, too. Sneaking out without saying a final goodbye makes him feel... sick. They do want him here, and his father – everyone, even – is going out of their way to make him at home. It makes sense for them to want a Jedi on their side, Theseus keeps trying to remind himself. Another Mandalorian Jedi, the first one in centuries if not longer. With the Force, he can do things they can't, and he potentially could become a far better warrior than the others.

But... this family does care for him. He can't deny it, and it scares him, because it's what he wants.

There's still the Clone Wars, Theseus reminds himself again. He's needed elsewhere, out there in the galaxy. Hiding here with a band of terrorists no less won't help anyone. They're more likely to change him than vice versa.

He really wasn't expecting the offer of being given Mandalorian armor, but he accepts it readily. After all, it means he'd blend in more. The armor is silver, and otherwise looks more or less like that of all the other Mandalorians. Somehow, it... rings perfectly, in a way he doesn't understand.

There's nothing to wait for anymore. He has his plan. He needs to carry it out.

And it's only now that he realizes that at least to a point, he's been stalling with finishing up the details. Because he missed his mother, Anakin, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan a lot, yes, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't care about his family here too. And in a lot of ways, it's like his father is the first person who ever actually wanted him around other than his mother but having a proper relationship with her is so difficult. It feels almost like he has something here that he's never going to have if he goes back to the Jedi.

But at the same time, he can't stay. If he gives in and does, for all he knows, he could end up becoming like them. And he can't – he can't do that. Besides, he can't leave his family back on Coruscant behind like this, whether biological or not. They need him too.

No matter what decision he makes, it's going to hurt. But he knows what he has to do. He has to go. And so, he sets a time for his escape.

The time for his escape comes only a few days later. He stays awake that night, even though he's feigning sleep. It's not like anyone is paying that close of attention to him. He keeps his armor on that night. The others do it all the time, so he doesn't think his father or sister find anything strange about it.

Now that the moment has actually arrived, he's almost beginning to have second thoughts. He can't shake the guilt gnawing at him for basically betraying them like this – especially after the amount of trust they actually have developed between them. Yes, he knows he needs to do it, but that doesn't make it any easier. A part of him feels like he should at least say a final goodbye or explain why he's leaving, but he knows that's not even practical.

And... what if he fails? What if he gets himself caught? He knows that if that happens, he'll probably never get out of here for years. (Probably long after he's gotten almost too used to living with them to want to leave.) He can't afford to let that happen either.

But he knows one thing for certain. If he doesn't go today, he isn't going to end up going at all. If he doesn't go now, next time he sets a date he'll question it all over again, and soon, he might end up changing his mind altogether. No, he's come this far. Now is the time, even if it hurts. And even if it's extremely risky.

Theseus looks discreetly at the other two. They seem to be sleeping and feel like in the Force as well from how still their presences are. Now. He has to do this. He sits up, turning towards the things in the corner of the tent where his lightsaber is hidden. He lifts the things with the Force, finally reaching the bottom of it, and calls his lightsaber to him from across the tent. And for once in his life, he's grateful Obi-Wan and his mother made him practice telekinesis so much.

He slips his helmet on, throwing a final glance at the other two before he slips out of the tent into the snow outside. He easily weaves his way in between the tents, and anyone who catches sight of him doesn't really pay much attention. It's not that weird for people to be up at this time, and unless he's acting overly suspicious, no one should question him.

He circles around to the droid tent, signaling to BD to join him. He'd taken the droid's restraining bolt off the previous day to make sure he's not caught in the process.

Now, time to get to the ship.

He winds his way through the camp, taking the fastest route he knows has the least patrols and guards. It's easier than he anticipated, to be honest. He's been here long enough that Theseus doubts many of them are even keeping a lookout for him. Finally, he reaches the area where the ships are.

It feels like a dream, but he's used to battles and stealth, even if it's never been his specialty. He knows how to dodge patrols. He knows where to hide and when to move, and how to do it soundlessly.

"What are you doing?" a voice behind him suddenly demands sharply.

Theseus jumps, whirling around to see Bo standing behind him, her hand resting on her blaster even if she hasn't pulled it out yet.

Great. Just great This was never supposed to happen.

"I was just –" He frantically fumbles for something at least remotely sensible to say. The fact that BD is right next to him and that he has lightsaber is way too incriminating. She's not going to believe a lie he tries to come up with.

"Just taking a walk probably," she deadpans, "Save the excuses for Vizsla. I'm sure he'll want to hear them all." She actually sounds angry, he realizes with a wince. Betrayed, maybe. It hurts more than it should.

And he has no doubt she's about to tell the others. "Bo, wait!" Theseus protests. He needs to... think of something to say and fast, to convince her to let him go – if that's even possible. Because he knows he'd most likely not win a fight against her, and even if he did, it would wake up everyone else. Besides, he's doesn't want to fight her.

"Why?" she asks stiffly, and he can't help but feel a momentary flare of surprise that she's actually giving him a chance to talk first.

Whatever he says next, he can't mess this up. "I can't stay here, Bo. It's not – it's not where I'm needed," he explains, or at least tries to.

"We've done everything we could for you, yet you firmly believe you have to go back."

"That's not – that's not the point," Theseus objects, "You know what it's like to have family you can never agree with."

She doesn't respond, which he takes as an indication or at least a chance for him to keep talking. "Even if they're still your family. Like mine here. I can't stay. I can't agree with the things you do, and my staying won't change that. It won't be real. At the end of the day, I'm me, and..." He gestures towards the village. "You're all you. We can't be the same. I have to do what's right for me, just like you did."

"You'll have until you start your ship's engine," she decides finally.

He blinks. She seriously going to let him...?! Theseus turns to take off for the ship, but suddenly stops, though he's hardly sure why. "One more thing," he says hesitantly, suddenly hardly sure why he's doing this. Maybe because part of him really doesn't want their friendship to have been for nothing. "I'll give you my comm frequency. If you ever need to talk..." It's pointless, because she'll never use it, but it'll still make him feel marginally better. The world would implode before Death Watch asked the Jedi for any form of assistance or anything, but at least he'll know that she could.

"Now leave, before I change my mind," Bo orders once he's done.

He nods and takes off for the ships. He doesn't waste any more time settling in the pilot's seat and firing up the engines, setting course for Coruscant before he blasts off to give him extra time to escape.

The scanners are showing Mandalorians in pursuit, but he outpowers them easily enough as he lifts off through the atmosphere of Carlac. It's been far too long since he left the planet and saw the familiar star-filled expanse of space. He makes the hyperspace jump as soon as he can, lest Death Watch have time to catch up to him.

The moment he's safe, he slides out of his chair onto the floor and leans back against the wall as the rush of adrenaline wears off. He needs to contact Coruscant, to tell them that he's coming back, but right now, he needs a few moments to himself.

It hurts more than he thought it would, and... he'll probably never see them again.

He should be glad. They were holding him prisoner for all intents and purposes. Still, it feels like he lost a part of himself, like something was left behind on Carlac that he'll never be getting back.

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