Chapter 34 – Festival of Light
Author's Note: In which Theseus and the others deal with the fallout of Deception, (and Theseus confronts his mother).
~ Amina Gila
Theseus knows he can't avoid the conversation with his mother forever. It's better to get going and talk to her about it. It's honestly a far less major problem then this whole Obi-Wan faking his death thing, so at least this they can work through. As far as the situation with Obi-Wan... well, he'll worry about that when he sees him again.
He hasn't actually moved into his mother's apartment, but he is staying there, so he's waiting in her living room when she finally gets back from some Council meeting. "Do you have time right now?" he inquires finally.
"Yes, I do," she quickly assures him, taking a seat on the couch across from him, "So, what is it?"
"Why didn't you tell me who my father was?"
She seems to consider her answer a moment before speaking. "I didn't want you to have to carry that burden. I didn't know he was a terrorist at the time, but I did know him long enough to realize he wasn't a very good person." He doesn't know why her describing Vizsla like that almost irks him. It's true, after all.
"Besides," she adds after a moment, "I doubted you'd actually end up on Mandalore one day... and I didn't really think it would matter." Fair enough, he supposes. He never did ask about his father. A name would have been meaningless, until he actually ran into him, of course.
But, he supposes, that's not what upsets him most about the situation. "Why didn't you at least tell me I had a sister?" he presses.
"When I left Mandalore, I knew I had to leave her behind." She sighs quietly, and Theseus can feel her true regret. Maybe any ordinary time, it would be enough to calm him, but not right now. "Not talking about her ... seemed like the simplest option."
"That's... lying by omission." In any other circumstance, he probably wouldn't be so upset, but everything that happened with Hardeen, he can't help it. He's off-balance, and it will take him a long time to re-find it. It's frustrating, because he spent so long finding himself after Mortis, and now it feels as though everything was for naught.
Maybe it wasn't. Maybe the Jedi aren't anything like he wanted to believe they are. Maybe... maybe his father was right. It scares him that he's considering it.
"Yes, I suppose it is," she admits, "And I am sorry. Most Jedi know nothing of their birth families. I didn't want you to try searching for her, or to think you left something behind. I know it may not mean much, and it may not be what you want to hear right now, but I am sorry."
Theseus sighs. Suddenly, he feels more worn out then he does angry. "I know," he assures. "It's just... there's so much going on. I can't stand by what the Council is doing anymore. I've seen how much the 'greater good' excuse can be used to cover for evil. Vizsla, my father, always said the same thing, you know. He burned an entire village to the ground once for his 'greater good'."
She winces. "I'm sorry you had to see that, Theseus."
"It doesn't really matter. It would've happened, whether I saw it or not. At least I know what things are like out there." Theseus hesitates a moment before reaching into his pocket and withdrawing the padawan braid he's been keeping there ever since he lost it. At first, he was planning to give it to Obi-Wan, but now... No, he can't do that. "Here," he says quietly, "You're my master now. I think you should keep this."
She reaches over, taking it from him. "Oh, I was wondering what happened to this."
"Uh, Dad might've chopped it off. I guess I'll have to learn to go back to being a padawan, about now." Theseus certainly still isn't happy about not being told, but it's the past now. It's not like there's anything she could do to change it even if we she wanted to. For now, he decides, he'll let the matter rest. It feels like – like there might be something else he ought to know, that she's hiding from him. Not unlike the rest of the Council, though what they did was something far worse, something inexcusable and unforgivable.
**w**
"Alright," Anakin calls, reentering the room. "It's time to get ready. Padme commed, and we need to go meet up with the Chancellor and Master Shan within the hour, if possible."
Ahsoka casts a sideways glance at Theseus. She's still struggling to believe that he's here and, more importantly, what happened with her grandmaster. She can't make sense of how the Council could have done something like that. It feels as though her entire belief system has been shaken, and it will take a lot of time for her to come to terms with it. This, she imagines, is much like her best friend felt after Mortis.
Theseus sighs. "I guess this means I need to make myself look like a padawan again, for the first time in a month."
"I'd thought you'd be glad," Anakin replies with a hint of mild amusement in his voice. "You do like keeping your hair ridiculously short."
Ahsoka sighs. Why do they have to argue about this now?
"Like you're one to talk, when you have yours longer than girls. Is it as much a nightmare to comb as it looks?"
The half-amused, half-insulted look on Anakin's face made the entire awkward conversation worth it. "I take offense to that," he grumbles.
"Excuse me?" Ahsoka huffs. "I'm a girl and I don't have any."
"Precisely my point."
"I'm not going to shave my head! I'd look like Master Windu!"
"Shh! Don't let him hear you say that." Theseus cautions with an exaggerated look around, as if trying to make sure that no one's listening.
"You're paranoid. I doubt he's planted listening devices in here," Ahsoka informs.
"Now you're being dramatic," Anakin sighs. "Let's get going."
**w**
Theseus stands near Anakin as he listens to Chancellor Palpatine's speech. The evening of the Festival of Light has finally arrived and they, his mother, and Ahsoka all accompanied Palpatine here in case something goes wrong. A ray shield is surrounding the platform, so at least he can rest assured that no one will be able to try shooting from a distance.
Obi-Wan is around here somewhere, he knows, and running into him is inevitable. Theseus isn't ready. Then again, he's not sure he ever will be. It's not like Anakin or Ahsoka are ready either. He wasn't about to let them come here all alone.
Still, he decided to bring along his armor instead of wearing Jedi robes. No one commented, but he doesn't exactly think his mother is very happy about it. And he knows Obi-Wan isn't going to be happy either. Maybe that's part of the reason he's wearing it. He knew the Order was wrong about many things, but for them to go this far and do something like this... It's far more extreme than anything he ever thought they would do. So, part of him wants to do something totally contrary, as a silent sign of rebellion.
Besides, having armor and a blaster will be useful in a situation like this anyway. Maybe he should consider taking this on missions in the future. Maybe. He'll consider that a little more when the time comes.
Fireworks explode in the sky as the Chancellor finishes his speech. Theseus can feel the happiness of everyone around him as they watch the show. He wishes he could share in it. Instead, all he can feel is the stinging betrayal, and a simmering anger at the Jedi and Obi-Wan for what they've done.
"Anakin, the shield generator!" his mother yells suddenly. Theseus' head snaps the direction she's talking about, right in time to see the tentacled arm of a being of some sort reaching through the ray shield towards the generator. Anakin is already in motion, racing across the platform towards it. He doesn't reach it in time.
The generator explodes, the ray shield instantly dissipating. Theseus runs after Anakin as he chases the fleeing bounty hunter while as his mother runs to the Chancellor and Ahsoka starts ushering Padme and the rest of the audience off the platform to safety.
The creature instantly open fires on Anakin, who spins his lightsaber to block the bolts. Theseus flips the setting on one of his blasters to stun and fires at the being. The blast strikes it before it can react, and the creature collapses, motionless, to the ground.
The Force is still humming with danger, but Theseus doesn't see anything wrong right off. Anakin's eyes narrow as he spots the speeder where the Chancellor is being escorted to. "That's not a guard, it's a bounty hunter," he hisses in warning.
Oh. That explains a few things. They both take off running for the speeder, and his mother joins them from across the platform. She obviously noticed the same thing. The three of them reach there almost all at once, and she levels her lightsaber in front of the guard. It's hologram disguise fades, revealing that of a changeling.
"Chancellor, are you alright?" asks Anakin worriedly. Palpatine climbs out of the back of the speeder, taking a step towards the Jedi Knight, then suddenly punches him in the face. The hologram on him fades to reveal another bounty hunter. What?! So, where is the real Chancellor?!
Anakin seems to get the thought instantly and flings the bounty hunter back against the side of the speeder with the Force.
"Over there!" his mother realizes suddenly, pointing across the platform to another speeder. A guard is throwing another unconscious one into the back of it, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out who it really is.
She and Anakin immediately take off running for the speeder, but Theseus has a sudden better idea – even if it's potentially risky. He raises his blaster, firing at a part of the speeder that he's pretty sure will make it mostly dysfunctional without risking blowing it up.
It crashes immediately, and Bane and Eval leap out of the speeder, drawing their blasters. Anakin and Athea deflect their blaster bolts as they open fire, and Theseus promptly fires at Bane. The bounty hunter sees it coming and dives out of the way, flying off the ground with his foot propellers.
Anakin slashes through the end of Eval's blaster, holding his lightsaber only inches away from him. The Phindian raises his hands in surrender immediately.
Athea catches onto Bane with the Force, throwing him into the side of the speeder. He's the next to surrender, thanks to another lightsaber and two blasters pointed in his face. "At least the Chancellor is safe," Theseus' mother decides, "I'll call Obi-Wan and see what the situation is."
**w**
The next morning comes otherwise uneventfully, but Theseus is feeling no better than last night. Worse, actually, since he knows he's about to meet Obi-Wan again. At least they succeeded in saving the Chancellor. It's really all he has to be grateful of.
Now, most of the security is leaving. Anakin is staying behind, and Theseus opted to stay with him. Obi-Wan is probably going to go back, too, and Theseus would very much like to avoid him and maybe help sort out his padawan-brother's mind before they go back to confront him. Anakin is pretending to be fine, but Theseus knows he isn't. To be fair, Anakin seems to be handling it better than Ahsoka – her black and white view of the world was thoroughly destroyed – but still, it was more personal for Anakin. Maybe he feels slightly awkward being at the Temple after so long and being around Ahsoka after... everything that happened on Carlac.
"Are you sure about staying?" Ahsoka asks as her and his mother stand together on the landing platform. Ahsoka still has some time before she has to leave, which is good. Anakin is talking to Obi-Wan a distance away, and Theseus would much rather wait to talk to his... technically former master a different time.
"Yeah." He shrugs and glances around. "It's a nicer place to stay than Carlac, and a bustling city is a bigger change from a wasteland than a forest planet."
Ahsoka grimaces. "Sorry about leaving you there."
Theseus waves it off. "Really, it's fine. It wasn't so bad. I'd rather that than have seen... you know. Besides, I have the feeling Anakin may need my help. This might not be over yet."
"Or, you've gotten very attached to your armor," Ahsoka smirks.
He glances down at himself slightly self-consciously. Theseus had worn it a lot with the Death Watch, and it's a symbol of... his family. The one he shouldn't have, according to the Jedi. "I'll have to permanently ditch it as soon as we get back to the Temple."
"You could keep it," Athea points out. "It could turn out useful at a later date, as a disguise."
On second thought... "Good idea. I think I will." He's selfishly glad he has a reason to actually keep it, because it feels like a sole thread tying him to the life he wants. To a real family, to some unknown and unimagined time and place where he can really, truly learn what it means to be at peace and be happy.
Theseus tries to ignore the sudden swell of rage and pain he feels in the Force, and he instantly knows its source. Anakin. Ahsoka instantly tenses, looking past Theseus to where the other two are. "I'll go find Anakin," she says tightly, all hints of playfulness lost.
"I'm coming," Theseus decides.
It doesn't take them long to track down Anakin. He's having an off-to-the-side conversation with Senator Amidala.
Except now that they're here, Theseus doesn't even know what to say. He and Ahsoka stand to the side until the two are done and Anakin turns back to them, expression carefully blank.
"I'm staying," Theseus blurts.
Anakin gives him a questioning, slightly confused look.
"I'll stay here," Theseus repeats. "I don't want to go back yet, and... I'm not certain all of this is over."
Anakin nods silently, turning away to scan the horizon. He's trying not to think; Theseus can almost sense it. It's a jarring reminder of how much he missed everyone while he was gone.
Ahsoka is quiet for a moment before she starts rambling off something about the war. Clearly, she agrees that Obi-Wan is not the best topic of conversation right now. Besides, what is there to say? They all understand that he chose to hurt them inexplicably by the Council's orders. He had the choice, and he didn't choose them. That, and the fact that the Council itself did something of such magnitude to hurt them, that they don't trust them... It's best not to dwell on it.
Theseus is suddenly glad he decided to come back. Anakin needed him, and Theseus could so easily have made both Anakin and Ahsoka think that – that he didn't care for them if he didn't come back. At least, not entirely. It hurts, but now, he knows he made the right choice. He only ever wanted a family, and somehow it turns out, he's got two. What he spent searching for so long, he had at his side all along.
**w**
Obi-Wan stayed. Theseus didn't realize it until his former master somehow managed to corner him. The fact that he still looks like Hardeen makes Theseus bristle, but his shielding is down enough that the padawan can actually sense who he is, at least.
"Padawan –" Obi-Wan begins.
"I have a name, and I'm not your padawan anymore." Theseus sounds maybe a bit sharper than he intended, but he doesn't back down. White, hot betrayal washes over him again, and all thoughts of trying to avoid awkwardness abandon him. Anakin may be quiet about this, but Theseus does, in fact, believe in standing up for himself, thank you very much.
Obi-Wan sighs, and he feels weary. Fine, because the others haven't slept in days, either. "I didn't know you'd come back right now, or I wouldn't have taken the mission."
"Oh, I think you would," Theseus shoots back. "It was the only way and for the greater good."
"Do you believe that?"
Theseus scoffs. He can't help it. "That you had to hurt Anakin and Ahsoka to get the mission done? No. That you had to go undercover? Maybe. Probably, yes." He has to be fair in that way. A Council member would be best, and there aren't many – if any – bounty hunters the same species as they are. A Mandalorian like Hardeen is the best option, but that doesn't mean simple logic will change his opinion on the rest.
"Then you understand I did what I had to do."
"Did the Force decree that you hurt them unimaginably? You saw your own master die. What did you expect them to do? Just shrug it off and keep moving as though nothing happened? Did you do that? How could you hold Anakin and Ahsoka to standards which you yourself are incapable of?"
Obi-Wan sighs again. "I may not have wanted to do it, but Anakin's reaction was necessary. I knew that if Anakin believed it, Dooku would as well."
So that's his excuse? "So, you think that justifies what you did?" Theseus asks coldly, struggling to reign in his temper. If loses control entirely, he'll likely end up doing or saying things he'll seriously regret later, "To any person not emotionally involved, your death wasn't believable at all. Did you really think they would really be able to realize something was wrong with it when you made him watch you die right in front of him?"
"Theseus, I know you're upset, but –"
"Upset?" he scoffs. "I suppose that's one word for it. I don't want to hear about how this was for the greater good. I've seen what that belief will do to people. If you never even bother to stop to consider who you're hurting achieve your goal, you could end up walking the same path as Death Watch."
On second thought, maybe he shouldn't have said that to him, but he's too upset to regret it. He knows it was also highly disrespectful, and while he may regret it later, he doesn't right now.
Theseus turns on his heel, stalking away. All Obi-Wan seems to want to do right now is justify himself and the Council, and he's not about to deal with it right now. Not after he saw how it affected Anakin and Ahsoka. He's never seen Anakin in a state like he was the night after it happened. And now it's like he's trying to move on and pretend that nothing happened, but Theseus knows he's not really feeling any better.
And Ahsoka... he hasn't had much time to actually talk to her about how she's feeling over what happened, but in a lot of ways, it's like everything she ever believed has been severely shaken. Theseus already lost his trust in the Jedi a long time ago, but Ahsoka didn't, and now she's being forced to question everything she knew.
He knows he might have hurt Obi-Wan with what he said, but especially with his attitude, Theseus knows the scars this has left on all of them aren't going to fade for a long time. If they ever do.
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