Author's note: As always, thanks to Lucy for being an amazing beta! Reviews are welcome and appreciated.

Commander's Personal Log: Stardate 2276.05

Before meeting Captain Elizabeth Bennet, I had always assumed that if I ever formed a romantic attachment it would be with a fellow Vulcan. I never understood the humans' capricious nature when it came to marriage bonds. Decisions that will affect you for the rest of your life should be carefully and thoroughly considered. Therefore I concluded my choice of a future spouse would be based on emotional and mental compatibility. The courtship would most likely be half a decade in length, and familial expectations and career pathways would be a few of the deciding factors.

Elizabeth effectively destroyed that notion.

I still do not know if she wants to eventually raise children, if she wants to travel and explore space or settle on Earth after she gets promoted, or if she even wants to form a monogamous bond with someone. For approximately the past 6 months we have discussed our family, our friends, and our past experiences. Yet we never discussed the future. But that did not seem to matter to my mind, the traitorous part of my brain that told me I would never be truly happy without her love. Even as I say this I cringe at my lack of mental restraint.

I suppose this is all a moot point anyway, given the fact that she hates me.

U.S.S. Longbourn: Stardate 2275.306

Captain Bennet briskly knocked on her sister's office door and waited for a response- a faint "Come in"- before entering. Jane's office was smaller than most other counselors', but she claimed to like the intimate space. The lighting was normally dimmed a little for sessions, but was always turned up to the brightest setting when Jane was alone or filling out reports. The ship counselor currently sat at her small desk in the corner of the room, and Lizzie made her way toward one of the loveseats.

"Hey, Janie, I have a question about Ensign Martinez's psych eval... Wait, are you okay?" Lizzie suddenly stopped as she took in her sister's puffy eyes.

Jane absentmindedly touched her upper cheek before waving off her sister's concern. "I'm fine, Lizzie. What questions did you have?" she asked in a cheerful tone. If Lizzie didn't know her sister so well, she would've believed her.

"Don't try to bullshit me, sis. You look like you've been crying, which you almost never do."

Lizzie went to sit on the loveseat closest to her sister's desk, but had a little bit trouble finding room. "Why in the world are there three quilts on here? I forget what a grandma you are sometimes- you know what, I'm getting off track here."

"What do you mean, I'm 'such a grandma'?" Jane inquired innocently.

Her sister gestured to the room at large. "There are honest-to-god doilies on the end tables, and I'm fairly certain Grandma B had that exact same chair-"

"I think it's cute." Jane's calm protestation made Lizzie snort.

"It's yellow toile; it is most definitely not-" Lizzie stilled before she truly began a rant. "You're trying to distract me. Tell me what's wrong," she demanded before giving up moving the quilts and sitting on the corner of the counselor's desk.

Looking at the PADD in her hands, Jane once again tried to avoid the question. "There's nothing wrong. What exact questions did you have about the ensign?"

"Jane Adeline Bennet, stop stalling," the captain berated before asking in a softer tone. "What happened?"

"It really is silly," Jane replied as she blinked tears out of her eyes. "It's just that Charles has completely stopped speaking to me, and basically runs away when I'm near." Her delicate voice broke a little. "I know we weren't officially dating, but I really liked him... I guess I thought we could have had something special."

Laying her hand on her sister's arm sympathetically, Lizzie said the first words to pop in her head. "Bingley's a fucking idiot."

Jane gave a wet laugh, surprise making it louder than usual. "No, he's not. He probably just changed his mind. I can accept that. I keep hoping we can eventually become friends again."

Shaking her head in mock disgust, Lizzie told her sister, "You really are too nice. Can't you be shitty and selfish like the rest of us? Just march up to him and tell him he's an asshole. Loudly. And in a public space."

Jane looked up beneath her eyelashes and squinted a little at her sister. "You, the captain, are encouraging me to start a scene on a fairly small starship?"

"First, I would absolutely love to see that. But I guess you might have a point. He can continue to be an idiot in peace," Lizzie conceded as she stood up to stand closer to Jane. Leaning in the hug her, she took the opportunity to whisper in Jane's ear. "Although you have my blessing if you ever did feel like doing that. I'll totally back you up."

Rolling her eyes at her sister's dramatics, Jane leaned back a little. "I'm not angry, Lizzie. I'm just a little disappointed and a lot confused. I don't know what I did wrong," Jane admitted, her tone more bitter than Lizzie had heard in a while.

"Hey, look at me," Lizzie demanded while tilting Jane's head up from where she had begun to look down at her desk. "You are thoughtful, and smart, and pretty, and you always make everyone around you want to be a better person. Although I like him just fine, Bingley is undeniably ignorant if he can't see that. Either he'll come around, or he can continue ignoring you and miss out on having a great friend-slash-partner."

"You're right, Lizzie," Jane nodded. "And honestly I've kind of exhausted myself thinking about the situation. So what questions did you have about that evaluation?"

Lizzie let Jane change the subject. Despite her job involving discussing people's personal problems most of the day, Jane tended to avoid talking about her own issues. Lizzie knew enough not to push it.

"Actually, I'm a little late for lunch with Charlotte. You wanna join us?" Lizzie asked while turning toward the door.

"I would love to but," Jane motioned at the PADD in front of her, "duty calls. I still have a lot to catch up on."

"Ugh," Lizzie groaned as she walked toward the door, "don't remind me about my own paperwork. I'll be by later with those questions." She stopped at the open door to turn back toward her sister. "You know I'll be there anytime you need to vent about something, yeah?"

"I know," Jane agreed as Lizzie walked out the door. "I know."

Food in hand, Lizzie gently shouldered her way through the crowd in the mess hall to sit in front of Charlotte and James. Their loud laughter had attracted the attention of a couple of other officers at nearby tables, but they paid them no mind. Still distracted from her conversation with Jane, Charlotte had to call Lizzie's name 3 times to get her attention.

"I'm sorry, what were you saying, Charlotte?"

"Someone's out of it today. I was just telling James about Darcy's attempt at being a wingman last week." She buffed her nails on the collar of her uniform before proudly proclaiming, "Not as good a wingman as me, obviously. But the poor man is still learning."

Lizzie's brow furrowed as she started making connections in her head. "That was just about exactly a week ago, wasn't it? I haven't really noticed before, but Bingley hasn't been sitting with us that often since that night."

Although at this point Lizzie was mostly talking to herself, Charlotte still answered. "I guess? I haven't really noticed because he's somehow best friends with everybody on this ship, but I suppose Charles hasn't had lunch with us since then."

Her thoughts were running a million miles an hour. Lizzie had taken Darcy's claim to want to experience the duties of a wingman at face value. She thought him inviting that blonde to their table was something of an experiment, a way to immerse himself in a new cultural idea. What if he had meant that stranger to be Jane's replacement? She was thinking of his actions that night as a failed attempt, an anecdote to be laughed at for its sheer awkwardness. What if he had succeeded? Was Darcy responsible for Jane's recent heartache?

"Hey James," Lizzie tried to casually get more information. "Do you know why Darcy tried to set Bingley up with someone? I wasn't aware he was actively looking for someone to date."

Fitzwilliam shrugged, eyes quickly darting to Charlotte. "I'm not entirely sure, but he has been asking me a lot lately about human courtship rituals."

Taking his statement as affirmation, Lizzie slowly grasped her head with one hand. A slight headache had formed near her left temple, and suddenly the mess hall was too crowded and loud. "I'm actually not feeling very well; I think I'm going to go back to my room," she announced to her friends.

Charlotte grew concerned at her friend's sudden shift in health. "Are you sure you shouldn't visit Mary? I'm sure she has somet-"

"I think I just need some quiet," she waved off her friend's suggestion. She picked up her untouched tray and stood up. "I'll see you both later."

As the captain walked away, James grinned at Charlotte. "You think she finally got my hint?"

Charlotte shook her head slightly, a thoughtful look upon her face. "That was not the 'oh shit' face she usually gets when she realizes she's someone unrequited love interest. It was also not the pleased look she gets when she is interested in someone." She turned to grin at her companion. "I never thought I would say this, but I think you might have actually been too subtle."

"Too subtle?" James asked, bafflement clear in his expression as they watched Lizzie throw away her food and walk out the door. "I've never been accused of being too subtle before."

Laying a hand on his shoulder, Charlotte lowered her voice in mock sympathy. "Poor baby... Cheer up. I'm sure nobody is ever going to accuse you of that again."

James gently threw her hand off while chuckling. "I do hope she's okay though. She seemed a little off."

"I'll check on her after our shift. I'm sure she's just having a rough day."

Meanwhile, in her room, Lizzie got a notification that turned her "rough" day into a god-awful shitastic bitch of a day. She needed to speak to her second-in-command.

Now.

"What the hell is this?" Lizzie spat angrily while shoving a PADD at Darcy's chest when he answered his door.

He briefly glanced at the document that was pulled up. "That would be my transfer request."

"Thank you, Commander. I can read. I meant, why are you requesting a transfer?" she asked as she shoved past him into his quarters. Lizzie hated how her voice shook as she asked the question. She was mad, damn it! But apparently her body didn't get the memo. She could even feel her eyes start to tear as she continued, a feeling of betrayal slowly inching its way into her heart. "We make a really good team. And the position you're applying for isn't even a promotion! You would be a science officer, on a smaller ship. I just don't underst-"

"I love you," Darcy blurted out, seemingly against his will.

Lizzie arched an eyebrow while shaking her head quickly as if she misheard. Her ire was quickly replaced by confusion. "I'm sorry... what?"

Darcy took a small breath and sat the PADD aside before launching into an explanation, his hands uncharacteristically gesturing as he spoke. "I am in love with you. Last week, you stated that you felt as if it were unprofessional for you to be romantically involved with anybody on the ship. If I transferred, we would not have that issue."

The captain stood still as bafflement robbed her of any words. Darcy took her silence as permission to continue. "I have tried meditating the attachment away as it is abnormal for a Vulcan to have such intense feelings, especially feelings that go against logic. Obviously we will have some barriers. I am objectively stronger and smarter, and we are technically two different species. My family has certain expectations for any spouse I may have, and I tried to keep those in mind. But ultimately I decided that I would not be satisfied without your presence in my future."

Cold fury invigorated Lizzie at the commander's speech. Her hands were clenched tightly, and her throat felt sore as if she were physically choking on her anger. She was having trouble suppressing her urge to yell, and as a result her words hurt her throat a little when she finally choked them out. "I'm denying your request; it won't be necessary."

"You are...rejecting me?" Darcy asked quietly, his usually steady voice wavering with bewilderment.

"Yes," she replied curtly. "But don't worry, I'm sure the list you kept of all the reasons I wasn't a suitable companion will help you in overcoming your attachment."

Darcy flinched slightly before straightening his back, his struggle for control clear even to Lizzie. "May I ask why, with so little thought, you are dismissing any possibility of a romantic relationship?"

"Frankly, Commander, I don't need to provide a reason for saying no; this is a Starfleet ship, and I'm your captain," Lizzie answered, trying her hardest to remain professional. Inside her mind was a whirl.

"But just some advice for the future," bitterness seeping into her words, "you may not want to tell the person you're interested in that you're better than them in every way. It tends to turn people off."

"That was phrased poorly- that's not what I meant." Darcy shook his head as he stepped closer to Lizzie, but stopped when she held up her hand.

"You clearly have thought this through. You listed all the reasons we wouldn't work as a couple and none of the reasons that we would. I knew you judged me for my human qualities, but I guess on some level I thought you respected me. Obviously that's not the case. You liked me against your better judgement."

Darcy cringed at the clear disappointment.

"But if you want reasons, I can certainly give you some. Do you think anything could tempt me into dating a man that caused my sister pain? I don't quite know how, but I have a feeling you're involved with Bingley's avoidance of Jane for the past week."

"I thought it best for both of them if they did not start a relationship-"

"What right do you have to play with both of their lives? Oh, I forgot, you can do anything you want because you're 'objectively smarter' than us mere mortals!" Her vision began blurring with tears of anger, but Lizzie tried to blink them out. To show anymore emotion than she already had would be proving him right.

"Jane did not seem to feel the same way as Charles. I thought it would be in their best interest to end it before they got hurt!" Darcy can feel the conversation getting away from him, and panic mired his normally clear thoughts. I just need to make her understand.

Lizzie scoffed. "For your information, Jane was really attached to him. And now, thanks to you, she's doubting herself. Also, they're adults; it was not your place to interfere. But I guess you're used to that, aren't you? Just like when you prevented George Wickham from getting into Starfleet Academy."

At the sound of Wickham's name, disgust and wrath suddenly radiated from Darcy. Captain Bennet actually staggered back a little in surprise. "Wickham?" he spat out the name.

"Yes, he told me you were the reason he didn't get into the academy," Lizzie clarified, although looking at his demeanor she was feeling a lot less confident about the allegation.

A muscle ticked as Darcy clenched his jaw, and his irritation was clear day. "Wickham was always so agreeable. Although oddly enough he could never quite retain his friends."

"He clearly had the misfortune of losing your friendship," Lizzie countered.

At her statement, Darcy scoffed lightly before shaking his head. "Perhaps you would have, at the very least, been open to a relationship perhaps I had not been honest about my doubts-"

"Honest is one word for it-"

"And if your pride had not gotten in the w-"

"My pride?!" A loud, sarcastic laugh escaped her. "And those are the words of somebody in love! Let me tell you something, Darcy. Your arrogance, your constant judgement, and your complete oblivion to the feelings of others all make you the last man in the galaxy I could ever love."

Her harsh declaration almost seemed to echo in the small room, and in the silence afterward Lizzie could only hear her own breathing.

Stepping into her space, Darcy leaned forward while still making eye contact. Already feeling enough off-balance, Lizzie refused to move. Hot breath brushed against her face as he whispered, "Thank you, for telling me exactly how you feel. Don't worry, I won't bother you about this anymore. I trust you can find your way out." He slowly turned to walk toward what must be his bedroom, and even though they had just been fighting, Lizzie still hated to see the defeated slump of his shoulders.

Lizzie rubbed her eyes before half-heartedly kicking a shelf near the door on her way out.

"Fuck."