A/N - TW: Description of a PTSD attack
Coming from someone with C-PTSD, please practice self-care and if you need to you can skip to the bottom of the chapter where I will post a very brief summary. I have marked the beginning of the TW and it ends at the " - " break as well if you would like to skip to that portion.
Chapter 11 – Different Wings
Aine laid on her back and raised her hands toward the sky, looking at the stars through her fingers. Her palms and the pads of her fingers were covered in tiny abrasions from her frantic climbing. The tiny drops of blood on her scrapes was almost soothing as she turned her hands over, looking at them.
Letting her hands fall to her stomach, she took several deep breaths of crisp fall air. She reached into her pocket for her phone, only to remember she had left it and her monitor in her apartment back at the dorms. Sitting up, she hugged her knees to her chest and rested her chin on them.
She felt defeated.
From the moment she set foot in Japan, she had thought her biggest obstacle was going to be talking to those she had left behind. Not getting kidnapped and definitely not what happened today. It wouldn't do any good to dwell on it but for tonight she allowed herself to feel everything about her situation. She could make plans for the future in the morning.
After a few moments, she began working her way back down to the street and back to the dorms. On the walk, she took in the sights around her as a mild distraction: the leaves starting to drop from the trees, the way the windows reflected the starlight and how the moon illuminated the entire area in a soft white light muting the colors of the landscape.
She looked at her hands again, the abrasions were small enough that she wouldn't need to do much more than clean them when she got back to her apartment. Judging from the location of the moon as well as the lights still blazing in the student dorms, she guessed it couldn't be much later than 8 or 9 pm.
When Aine walked into the dorm, there was a small gathering of teachers in the common room. As she walked by, she could hear snippets of conversations. Most of them curiously discussing the Commission's visit.
Thankfully, it appeared that Nedzu had done a thorough job of keeping her involvement under-wraps. The cynical voice inside her head mused, I wonder how long that will last before the witch-hunt begins.
She gave a friendly smile and waved at the few who noticed her walking by as she made a beeline for the elevator. As she watched the numbers ticking down from one of the upper floors, she felt a presence come up behind her. As she turned, she saw Shouta standing beside her holding a small sleeping girl with bluish-white hair. The child couldn't be more than 7 and was clutching a small stuffed orange tabby toy cat in her hands. Her head rested on his shoulder and Aine could see a small horn peaking from her forehead underneath the hair that fell over the side of her face.
She quickly looked away and stared at the elevator numbers counting down in disbelief: Shouta Aizawa has a kid?
No words passed between them as the elevator doors opened and they stepped inside. Shouta shifted the girl slightly and hit the number for his floor. Aine pressed the number for her floor and leaned against the wall of the elevator as the doors closed.
"Are you alright?" he spoke softly so as not to wake the sleeping child.
Aine nodded before responding quietly, "I will be." She flashed an unenthusiastic half-smile.
Shouta nodded back as the elevator reached his floor. As he exited the elevator, a flash of orange caught Aine's eye. She scooped up the toy cat from the floor of the elevator, the girl must have dropped it when Shouta shifted her to select the floor.
Aine hit the button to keep the elevator doors open and stepped off the elevator glancing down the hallway for Shouta's retreating form. She saw him just as he disappeared into his apartment letting the door slowly swing closed behind him.
Lightly jogging down the hall, she paused at the door knocking lightly not long after the door had closed. She smirked at the light grumbling from the other side of the door as it swung open.
"I think someone dropped this." Aine held up the stuffed cat as Shouta stepped aside allowing her to enter and closing the door again behind her.
"Thanks." he took the toy from her and disappeared into one of the back rooms. After a few moments, he returned alone both child and toy safely tucked into bed.
"Thank you again. Eri would have been heartbroken to have lost that toy right after Midoriya gave it to her." he looked towards the door that Aine guessed was the girl's bedroom.
She smiled warmly, the first she had genuinely smiled all evening, "No problem. Must admit I'm a little surprised to see you as a parent."
"Guardian." he corrected, "I'm just her guardian while she is living at UA."
"Ah. Well, I think I'm going to head home now. It's been a…" her words were interrupted by Shouta's phone ringing. He nodded at her in understanding as he answered the phone.
"What is it, Iida? I haven't even been gone thirty minutes."
She waved and left, closing the door gently behind her. As she stood waiting for the elevator, she heard Shouta's voice coming down the hallway.
"I'm on my way, tell everyone to stay put until I get there. Plant Kaminari on the couch and do not allow him to touch anything." his voice dripped with irritation as he finished and hung up the phone.
"Aine. Can you stay in my apartment with Eri for a bit? There's been an issue with my students that I need to go handle. Shouldn't be long." He held out his key for her. "She's still asleep so …"
"No problem." she took the key and headed down the hallway, "Go take care of that group of gremlins you call a class."
He muttered something as the elevator reached the floor, Aine chuckled under her breath as she let herself back into his apartment.
Settling on the couch, she started to regret forgetting her phone as there didn't seem to be anything she could use to pass the time. The apartment was sparsely decorated, which wasn't a surprise to her as Hizashi and Nemuri had been the interior decorators when they all lived together.
Screams and a crashing sound from the bedroom made Aine bolt upright from her seat on the couch and run, flinging the door open ready to fight. The sight that greeted her made her heart and body grind to an icy halt.
The bedside lamp and nightstand had been knocked to the ground and the sheets from the bed were crumpled in a wadded mess cascading over the opposite side of the bed from where she stood. Thankfully, the bulb hadn't broken and the light that streamed from the top of the lampshade illuminated the small child curled in the far corner of the room like a spotlight. Her face was panicked and staring straight ahead in an expression that Aine had only seen in the veteran heroes and first responders she worked with during her college internships.
This tiny girl was having a PTSD episode.
"Eri?"
Teary, red eyes snapped to her face as Eri pulled into herself even tighter.
"It's ok, Eri. I'm a friend of Mr. Aizawa's." Aine held her hands up showing she meant no harm, "I know you feel really scared right now but can you do something for me?"
Eri nodded slowly, eyes wide.
"Can you tell me something you see?"
Her eyes darted around the room, finally settling on the lamp. The girl's voice was barely above a whisper, "A lamp?"
"This one?" Aine asked as she picked up the lamp from the floor, righted the nightstand and placed it on top illuminating the rest of the room. Eri nodded, "Very good! Can you tell me another thing?"
They continued to list 4 more items before continuing through the rest of the grounding exercise: 4 items she could feel, 3 items she could hear, 2 items she could smell and then Aine asked her to describe her favorite taste. As the child's breathing slowed and her face softened, Aine walked to a corner opposite the little girl.
"It is alright if I sit here?" she continued speaking softly as Eri nodded, "Thank you. Don't worry, I won't come any closer unless you ask me to, is that alright?"
Eri nodded again before speaking, "Where is Mr. Aizawa?"
"He had to check on his students, but he will be back very soon. I'm here to keep you safe. Did you have a bad dream?"
The little girl looked down at the floor directly in front of her feet, "H-he came to take me away, t-to take me b-back, and n-no one could st-stop him." Aine could see tears streaming down the girl's face.
It didn't take a mind-reading quirk to know that "he" was definitely not referring to Shouta.
"That must have felt so scary for you, Eri. Thank you for telling me. You are such a brave girl!"
Eri's eyes shot up as a little gasp came from her, "Like Mr. Deku a-and Mr. Mirio?" her voice spoke the names like they were sacred to her.
Aine nodded and smiled softly, "Just like Deku and Mirio"
"Do you know them too?" Eri tilted her head to one side as she continued watching Aine.
"Yes, I do. Well, Deku at least. I don't believe I have had a chance to meet Mirio. I work here at the school." as Aine spoke, the little girl inched closer and closer.
"Are you a teacher, too? Like Mr. Aizawa?"
Aine smiled, "Not quite. My job is to help kids who need a grown-up to talk to."
"Like Mr. Hound Dog! I talk to him sometimes."
"Yes, like Mr. Hound Dog."
They sat in silence for just a moment, Aine saw the little girl's eyes and head begin to droop, "Let's get you into bed."
The little girl's eyes snapped open, and she launched herself at Aine wrapping her arms around Aine's waist as she shook her head furiously back and forth, "Please don't go, please! I don't want to be alone." her tiny voice pleaded.
Aine scooped the little girl up and placed her in her lap there in the floor, "Shhhh, I promise I won't go. We can stay just like this, is that ok?" she gently ran her fingers through the girl's bluish-white curls.
Eri nodded and laid against Aine's shoulder. She rubbed small circles on the child's back as she began humming a song she remembered from childhood. The small body in her arms began to relax.
Aine would never have described herself as having a maternal side but as she held this little girl, their hearts beating together, she felt a tether like a ship and an anchor begin to form between them. She wrapped her arms around Eri and started to softly sing.
Don't worry, I will be here for you.
"Aine?"
Shouta saw a light coming from Eri's bedroom, as he got closer, he could hear soft singing:
"Dream child, stars have been rumored to
See dreams within newborn eyes
And in their arms, I believe they do
Keep safe until you arise"
He stepped around the corner and looked into the bedroom. There on the floor in a corner of the bedroom sat Aine, Eri curled up in her lap with her head buried into Aine's shoulder. As Aine's eyes flicked up to meet his, she motioned for him to come closer as she continued to sing:
"Wait for me now, I will be there for you
No matter what tomorrow may bring
This I will vow, I will be there
For this child with different wings."
Eri's breathing was deep and even as he gently scooped the small child up to place her back in her bed. As he straightened and tucked the sheets in around her, he noticed Aine had not moved from where she sat on the carpet.
"What happened?" he whispered.
Aine shook her head sadly, "A nightmare. Bad one from what I saw. She said someone had come to take her away."
Shouta felt his heart drop, "She's sleeping calmly now. Did you…"
"No, I didn't have to use my quirk on her." She stood and moved to a large chair over on the other side of the room.
"Thank you. I'm not patrolling tonight so I can take it from here."
Aine set a hand on the back of the chair and looked at the sleeping child, "Would it be alright if I stayed? I promised her - I promised I wouldn't leave." Those intense hazel eyes shifted from Eri's sleeping form to his own eyes. "I'll go back to my own apartment as soon as she wakes up in the morning."
"Tell me what you need from your apartment, and I'll go get it." he waved away her words, "I've got an extra pallet, so you don't have to sleep in the chair. There are extra blankets in the hallway."
"Just my monitor. I forgot it when I headed out to run this evening." she crossed the room and dug her key out of her pocket, handing it to him.
"I'll be right back."
By the time he returned, Aine was sitting cross-legged in the chair sound asleep. He set her monitor and her phone, which he noticed sitting by the monitor on her kitchen counter, beside her in the chair and went to grab a blanket. After draping a blanket over her, he stepped back into the doorway and watched her sleep for a moment before walking across the hallway to his own bedroom to settle in for the night.
A/N - Summary: Aine helps Eri through a nightmare-triggered PTSD attack and falls asleep in Aizawa's apartment.
The grounding methods I mention are ones that I use for anxiety and C-PTSD issues. Please feel free to use them and if you are struggling with anxiety or panic attacks and/or PTSD and need help, please call or text the National Alliance on Mental Illness help line at 1-800-950-6264 M-F 10am - 10pm or text NAMI to 741741 for 24/7 crisis support.
You are important!
You are valid!
You deserve to be here!