Scarlet talks about her past.
A/N: Just a heads up, Scarlet's backstory is screwed up. It involves a screwed up childhood; non-graphical mentions of rape and suicidal thoughts. Please do not read it if you are uncomfortable reading that sort of imagery.
The hallways were silent; most of the passengers had either fallen asleep, doing whatever they desired for the night or have become reclusive. When Killua checked his phone, it was two in the morning, a time where only those who cannot sleep, or worked during the graveyard shift hours, were wide awake.
Even now, no matter the time, Scarlet worried about those who could be listening. Her small range of En scanned for not only signs of life, but those who were still moving around. She couldn't exactly talk freely about her past, considering those aspects were bound to stir up some trouble.
Especially, her fucked up childhood; it was full of imagery she didn't want to talk to others about, in particular, teens who mainly wanted to know about her connection to Vastorie.
Eventually, the young adult found a corner, where nobody was around, except for the two boys behind her. She leaned against the wall, taking in a deep breath before opening the conversation, "Exactly how far would you like me to go back…?"
"To when you first met Vastorie, if you can…"
The woman looked out the window, eyes scanning the clouds for any distracting figures. As much as she'd like to start at the meeting of Vastorie, the boys needed some backstory, context for everything to make sense.
The question is… how does one start? Killua might understand… but Daniel won't… or the reverse could happen. Suicidal thoughts, rape and paedophilia wasn't exactly the best conversation starter, including those who are a little older than the age she first descended into hell. There was absolutely no civil, understanding way to skirt across it… let alone, delve into the topic, "As you know, my father was Hinrick Von Delkofer…"
Daniel's head tilt said it all. The boy had no idea who that man was, let alone had a grasp on the backstory to what she was about to discuss.
This was going to be a heavy topic for the young boy to digest, "When…" she took a deep breath, "when I around said nine to ten, I first discovered what kind of monster my father was… I had walked into a room I thought my mother was in. She was… although; she bent over a table with a hand covering her mouth."
Daniel frowned; he knew where this was headed. He's been in that type of environment, parents doing the nasty. But then he remembered the word she used to describe her father a monster. Something gnawed at his stomach, a nauseating feeling of doubt. He had a feeling that things were about to escalate.
Killua comforted his partner. He knew exactly where Scarlet was headed, even without context. One of the many things he's learned over the years was to never question clients… no matter how mentally fucked up they were.
Sometimes he wondered if his father lined him up with those kinds of people so he could learn to adjust. But Illumi tended to accompany him on those kinds of jobs, just in case the client decided to change their mind.
They never did… the surname Zoldyck tended to strike fear, into those kinds of people's heart.
That's strange, Daniel for a moment looked like he could predict what was about to happen… "Along, with a man, I had barely met that afternoon… He was… to put it bluntly, was…" She closed her eyes, "was fucking my mother's brains out. That was far from the messed up part about the event. You'd think finding one parent being screwed by a stranger is the least fucked up about that situation…"
Her eyes opened, looking over to Killua and Daniel, "it was that my father was also in the room, puffing a cigar or whatever the hell he smoked at that time. He was watching the scene unfold."
Daniel's eyes widened, not expecting that outcome; the nauseating feeling was about to get worse, and Scarlet… was far from over.
"His client was upset over me stumbling into the room, so he… my father," Scarlet spat out, with venom now fuelling her words, "directed his rage at me, demanding to know what the fuck I wanted. I was scared… I had no idea what to say…"
"What does one even say," she looked away, staring off into the distance, the clouds seeming the most peaceful thing in this fucked up story, "after witnessing your mother getting ploughed by a stranger."
"I…" Daniel diverted his attention, which only made Killua hold him closer as if he were a comforting blanket. The boy, however, didn't want this story to continue if Scarlet was uncomfortable talking about it "I'm sorry for forcing you to bring that up, I didn't know… You don't-"
"It's ok…it was more than ten years ago. Not that time makes a difference in this situation. It still eats at me, but at least now… I don't wish I perished in that fire so long ago. I had the support of others who helped me overcome my past."
Killua allowed Daniel to snuggle into his arms, to pretend as though being near him eased the contents of the story's topic. It won't, not by a long shot, but if it can fool his partner for a second, he'd allow Daniel to get away with whatever he desired.
He's seen a lot of fucked up situations in his lifetime, knowing Scarlet went through this as well, hadn't changed his perception on the cruel, fucked up, side to humanity… the darkness that raged on in the background when everyone turned away, "go on…"
"Rather than remaining upset upon my arrival, the stranger offered a counter-deal… to spend time with me."
Killua's eyes narrowed, the disgust, the anger… the vitriol oozing out of the mother of a child's mouth said it all. She hated her parents, her mother… She would have never let her partner get away with what happened to her child if she were in that situation. Scarlet would have murdered her father if she had the power to do so back then.
"You could only imagine what that was like for a child of that age, to be used by a stranger for his own malicious intent. My mother begged my father to not involve her child in this cruel side of his business, but he hadn't care at the time… Sometimes I wonder… when did he stop caring? At any moment, did he think of what the repercussions were going to be? Did he even cared…? I was forced into that world, day in, day out… Sometimes multiple men… or woman would use my body for their selfish desires. To me, every person my father brought into our home, I would see them as rotting zombie-like creatures with blackish-red skin. They were all monsters in my eyes, the one who never touched me… EVEN…"
Scarlet turned to look Daniel in the eyes, "Even your father Nathaniel… Vastorie was a monster in my eyes… a type, I would've never ever predicted, to have twisted my world upside down."
"I…" Killua brought up his finger to his mouth, stopping Daniel from interjecting. He'd rather the boy not interrupt, let alone hear this kind of story, to know about this cruel world. But unlike the information Daniel needed to hear, this was only the prologue to how she met Vastorie, and without it…
Why Vastorie killed Hinrick… would have made no sense.
"My mother committed suicide after the first month. I honestly wasn't surprised. If I were to look back on the situation, I kind of expected her to give up on trying to save me. Sometimes we had police show up from time to time. I thought I could talk to them, to get them to arrest my father… but unfortunately. they were the corrupted type of officers. They took paychecks from my father, whether they wanted it in cash or… the physical kind of payment. It really depended on the person. I so badly wanted to give up… to take my life within the first year, but honestly…"
Scarlet had to look away, after what she just did… she doesn't deserve to talk about her brother this way, to see him in a different kind of light "At that time if it weren't for my brother… I would've given up. I lived for my brother's smile… I didn't want him to be forced into the same world as me. If I gave up… my father's eyes would've fallen on Adam next. Maybe that's why my mother gave up back then… because she no longer wanted to know that I was being dragged into the same world as hers."
She took a moment to let the information sink in because she was far from done. Her descent into hell just didn't stop there, "Adam did eventually get dragged in that world after two years of suffering through it. He noticed the marks being left on my body… the scratches that had become harder to cover-up. He thought he could be the reason that broke through to my father…"
She covered her eyes, not wanting the tears to fall. After what she saw had become of Adam, she should have been stronger for him, to stop her father. But just like her mother, she was powerless to stop the situation, "Our father's greedy little eyes saw no boundary… The once pure, innocent eyes of my little brother… were taken away, within a blink of mine. Hinrick made everyone suffer equally. However, after that… things escalated. My brother and I weren't the only ones to suffer… there were others trapped along with us… girls, boys… of various ages. It honestly impressed me… how much he didn't care…"
"I had no idea how such a fucked up man, was able to keep all of this under wraps for so long. Just how deep did his pockets run? Exactly who, did my father have at his beck and call…? However, like all good empires, his eventually broke. It was the day I met your father…"
Scarlet hid her face, controlling the tears that were unable to be kept in. She was forcing herself to recollect the events. It ate at her, especially after having to kill her own brother just a few hours ago. Everything was taking a toll on her; she hadn't completely gotten over the situation. However, she now has a reason to live through the events, to not give up. And those suicidal thoughts are just a blink of her history, "I remember the screams, not of children like myself… The adults… The gunfire…"
The smell of copper and smoke wafted in between the crack of the door to the room, as screams filled the hallways. A young teen curled in on herself, her body shaking uncontrollably. Even as she covered her ears, it couldn't silence those blood-chilling screams.
She wasn't even supposed to be in this room, it was her father's office… Not only that, she should be out there, trying to find her brother. But all that screaming kept her glued to her location.
Footsteps could be heard lurking around the building, the continuous thudding of heavy boots crossing the marble tiles. Where she was hiding, she could see the doorway, however, her figure was also obscured behind her father's elegant desk.
She saw her father run into the room, a wide expression. He slammed the door behind him as he entered. He tried to lock the door, but all his shaking made him drop the keys, "SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!" He didn't bother trying to find the keys, instead opting to turn back around. He was as pale as a ghost, with blood splattered across his face. He had seen a demon of hell… and from the sound of footsteps, it was coming after him.
He crossed the room, heading towards a picture, wasting no time when he ripped it off its hinges, revealing a safe he desperately tried to open as quickly as possible. But he was still unable to control his shaking hands, to give himself enough to input the right code.
"That guy is a maniac…" he whimpered to himself, trying to calm his nerves just long enough to open the safe. On what seemed like the fifth attempt, he managed to finally open it, grabbing a black duffle bag filled with money, including information he needed to control the masses.
However, unaware to him, he was being watched from under his desk.
Just as he was about to exit the room, a heavy foot kicked the door open, chunks of splinted wood being strewn across the polished floor. A man covered from head to toe in white garments, red splotches of blood covering the long elegant military type uniform entered the room.
Scarlet covered her mouth, the man's azure eyes scanning the room as if looking for someone in particular. When he found his target, he took a heavy step forward, as did her father take several of his own back, "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! I DID NOTHING WRONG…"
"Nothing wrong…" the man hummed, fingers gliding across the pool table built into the office, bolted to the floor. "Explain the kids then… all twenty of them. They were afraid of me…"
"You're covered in blood!"
"THAT WAS AFTER I SAW THEM… the rumours were true…"
"WHAT RUMOURS?! I'm a businessman… I own and manage multiple companies, that's all…"
"Is that before, or after including the obvious paedophile ring in your dungeon?"
"I never touched any of them…"
"SO, you're fine…" The man's fingers slipped into the table, elegant wood and fabric ripping into the seams, "With adults touching kids, as long as your dick doesn't get wet. You're a joke… a monster hiding under the mask you call a face."
"I'm not the one wearing a mask, nor am I covered in blood right now! YOU ARE…"
The man grabbed her father before he could think to move, throwing him into the pool table. The impact caused the table to uproot, the bolts that once held it down, splintering on impact.
A loud muffled scream escaped her throat, which ended up drawing her father and the man's attention. Hinrick tried to use the noise as a way to escape, going as far to drag himself along the floor.
The man, however, had other ideas. He brought his foot down, the sound of bones crushing under his heels, caused Hinrick to rip his fingers out from underneath the foot, a terrified scream full of pain reverberating off the walls.
By now, they both could hear the whispering of a child in the room, but neither one made a move to address the noise.
"What are you going to do, kill me? THIS HOUSE is burning down around us. Those kids are going to die if you don't reach them in time… those poor little kids are going to be screaming in-"
He slammed his fingers into the man's shoulder, nails as sharp as knives ripped through the skin, on instinct, Hinrick tried to pull out the hand that was causing him pain, but it didn't budge, if anything, it dug deeper.
Hinrick was forced to use dirty tactics to get the man to stop, "You're going to traumatise a kid, just for petty revenge…"
"Revenge, my friend…?" He leaned forward, his voice being directed into the man's ear, "No… what I'm giving you is the least… you deserve! I'd rather pin you to a wall and let you burn to death, but the fact is…" He took off his mask, letting his face be revealed to the man, "I want you to know who took your life…"
"Vastorie, I should have taken you down the moment you introduced yourself to me."
"A billionaire against me, a Hunter… no amount of money could save you from me. Nor could a long list of dirty laundry… politicians, police, doctors, assassins… could make a dint in my network." Vastorie dragged his claws along the baron's chest, grasping his heart in his hands, "say hello to the devil for me, if he exists…" Not a second more was wasted, his hand ripping the vital organ from Hinrick's chest.
The man coughed up blood as he looked over his shoulder. From his view, he could see his daughter hiding under the table, a wicked smile growing as though to use the event in his dying breath, "You just traumatise my daughter… she'll never be the same…"
"After what you've done to her… I highly doubt I'd make that much of an impact."
"Ha…" the man coughed up more blood, wheezing as he tried to speak once more "maybe you're right… or maybe you're wrong." Hinrick chuckled as he choked on his blood, his daughter able to see everything that transpired. She'll never be the same without him. She needed him, and there was nothing Vastorie could do to say otherwise.
Vastorie ripped off the man's necklace, "You won't be needing that…"
Scarlet attempted to run, but Vastorie grabbed her by the wrist before she could reach the open doorway. The girl pleaded, begging to be let go. He's going to kill her next, the same way he killed her twisted father, "I don't want to die!"
"Calm down," she couldn't not when she saw the man up close for the first time; there was blood dispersed along his cheek, dark azure eyes, slits like a hungry beast staring back at her. He was going to kill her, and she needed to escape right now.
She felt the man pull her in, expecting him to crush her to death, but all she heard was the man speaking to someone other than her, "I found the daughter, she was hiding upstairs. No… the building is cleared. Did you manage to get the other kids out…?" Scarlet stopped squirming, straining her ears to listen to the voice on the phone. But she couldn't hear anything, "good! I'll be out soon. I just need to grab one more thing."
Vastorie held onto the young girl tightly as he fumbled around in the bag, trying to find the information he needed. The sirens blazing in the background alerted him of the danger he was in. The last thing he needed was to be in the public's eye. Any of Hinrick's clients could spell for some serious danger.
If they find him now, everything would have been for nothing. He needed the information to bring down Hinrick's empire, to show the world what kind of monster the man was… including those who benefitted off him. Plus, those who had dined with the man, who took part in the man's cruel world were going to suffer a similar fate.
When his hand slid into the last pocket, he pulled out a portable hard drive, a giddy smile escaping his lips, "found you! Kid close your eyes, we're escaping through the windows…"
Not even waiting for the young child to brace herself, he leapt out the window into the fiery night, a scream escaping the girl's lips as she saw the floor beneath them coming closer into view.
Scarlet had already closed her eyes at this point, memories from the remainder of that night possibly being fumbled. But what she saw back then, was a man who didn't value a child's view of him. He had just killed a man in front of her, and rather than covering up the situation, he let her witness the murder of a man… no matter whose life was taken before her eyes.
"To me… regardless of whether or not my father deserved to die… Vastorie took his life before my eyes. I saw him draw his last breath, the smile of a man who thought he won still even after his death."
Her features mellowed out, "I saw the other kids, just as scared as me. My brother wasn't among them… I was unable to find him. I begged and pleaded with Vastorie and the other man, which I later learned was Nathaniel, to go back into the burning building… to try and find my brother. But they couldn't… not while the fire department and police were involved. I lost my brother that day… and now, after what happened last night… I've lost him forever."
"I… don't know what to say. You experienced all of that, but… you're stronger right? You are trying to be a better person than your parents, even after being beaten down so much."
Scarlet felt herself smile slightly, "I thought you'd be traumatised…"
"No… I am mortified… scared! It's just… I've… seen death up close, even by my own hands." The boy remembered the blue blood staining his hands, the chunks of flesh littering the ground around him. He couldn't forget that… nor could he forget Killua's bleeding body in his fingertips, being forced to watch someone at the edge of death's door. He was almost forced to watch Killua draw his last breath that day…
Scarlet would have had to do the same with her brother, even knowing that he was evil, she had to watch someone she once loved, die in another's fingertips, "I not trying to negate what you've seen. You have been through hell… You and Killua have both, on completely different scales. I'm trying to understand Vastorie's world better, to understand why my dad has reacted that way after seeing his own father…"
He knows roughly why Vastorie hates Victor, after witnessing Victor's… His grandfather's anger and rage is being directed at him. Now he knows the darker side of Vastorie, how easily he could take another man's life as long as he has a good enough reason to do so… and he could do it, even if it scars others in the process, "I'll most likely struggle to sleep after hearing that. Again, I'm sorry I'm unable to offer you any consolation…"
"It's fine…" Scarlet held out her hand in apology, for dumping a boatload of disgusting information on the poor boy's ears. She wanted the scared boy to calm down his nerves, to prepare himself so he could mentally digest everything… she was far from finished.
She now wanted to make Daniel understand, why she trusts that man, "Daniel… Killua… I want you to listen to the rest of what I have to say." She kneeled before the boys, "I trust Vastorie, not because he saved me… because I saw a completely different side of him. He may have been a killer then… and possibly even now as we speak, but when I was struggling to take everything in, to open up and accept that people wanted to help, including his husband…"
A warm smile escaped her lips as she remembered herself slowly coming to terms with the fact that others wanted to help her. She wasn't the only one there who had suffered at her father's hands. She remembered seeing other kids her father used as tools, not all of them lived to see their adult years.
It was a sad, cruel fact, to know that most of them ended up taking their own lives within the first month. Going from having the world ripped from their fingertips, to having been given everything back in a matter of hours didn't help their mental process.
After everything they've been through, some of them expected to have it all taken away again… and that build-up of thoughts consumed them inside and out. They didn't want to go through that again… so rather than waiting for the worse to happen… they wanted to avoid the situation entirely.
Nathaniel cried for those who took their life, she saw a side of humanity that wasn't monstrous through that man. And the fact he shared, and Vastorie would often drown himself in that compassion, showed he can too.
The ones who did continued to push through their struggles, their thoughts… she's still friends with them; they continued to live not just for themselves, but for others that have gone through the same thing.
She wanted Daniel to understand the compassionate side to his father, "Vastorie would often accompany us to a park, convention or even an event. I was never alone during those occasions… He would talk to each of us, even if we refused to listen. He talked often about his adventures, the things, creatures and people he has seen. He made himself seem so human… and those of us who continued to want to live slowly got better."
Her hand comforted Daniel, as he was the one who would struggle the most with this information. But at the same time, she could see the gears turning, the boy slowly starting to understand why his father hid this side from the world, "When we got better and was able to trust others, Nathaniel took us to this orphanage named Swordcross Institution, where carers, LOVING, genuine, humanistic carers spent time with each, and every one of us."
Her smile widened from the memory, "I remember the first time I went there, seeing all those kids beaming smiles, trying to hug and gain Nathaniel's affection. He was truly a kind, caring man… Even the carers loved that man!"
"I can see why…" Daniel offered his own smile, Killua following through with his own view on the situation, "You're right about him. He took Alluka and myself in, even after he learned about our past, mainly mine… Sure, he did mention he was personally afraid that I might kill Daniel… However, that didn't stop him from taking the time to get to know us personally. He even offered us information that would help us individually…"
Killua took a deep breath, his eyes looking at the floor as his cheeks flushed red. The embarrassment burned up along his sides. His thoughts alone made him want to keep quiet, but as much as he would like to, it needed to be voiced "He wanted me to save Daniel…"
"An assassin who gets flushed cheeks every time he's caught… off-guard, a sight you don't see very often."
"SH-Shut up… I wasn't raised in a normal environment."
"But you got to feel what it was like to be a part of one…" She side glanced in Daniel's direction, taking notice of the boy's smile, "We both did on that part… nonetheless," with a hand being pressed against her hip, the scene before her warmed her heart. Both Daniel and Killua were comforting each other in their own way, "we both came out stronger in our own way. Now, what will you do now with this information…?"
Daniel had to think about it, yes he understood what Vastorie was like in his late forties, and thirties, but there were other people to talk to. He needs to go back as far as he possibly could, and that means Victor, might be the only one, besides Nathaniel who could discuss the man's earlier years.
He knows that just like Killua's background, Vastorie can take another person's life without a second thought. That means, Victor and Silva, have both trained their children to kill. Killua only got out at a much younger age than his father. The question now, is why and how did his parent's relationship mix so well, while Victor was dead?
If Victor were to die again, this time for good… would the world finally catch up to him, or would he remain the same bitter self…? "We're I guess going to enrol in school, for the very first time… together."
That was their only option right now is, the school's so-called protection Scarlet alluded to. With that, they may be able to avoid him just long enough for him to lose interest.
Killua was taken aback by this news from his partner. Both Nathaniel and Vastorie didn't seem like the kind of people who could home school Daniel, while also leading their busy lifestyle, looking after the orphanages, as well as the others on the list who had stories of their own to tell.
"Wait," Killua looked at Daniel confused, "I would've thought you went to school…"
He didn't know which one of them met Vastorie while Daniel was alive, but considering who was left off that list… not all of them could have met him before he had his son. The story of how Daniel was conceived still needed to be solved. All they had to go by was Daniel was a pain in his backside …
"Nope, I was homeschooled…"
"Huh…" Killua raised an eyebrow at the news as he crossed his arms. Some parts of his life made sense, the dancing… The Ten training… Weapon Mastery… The respect and valuing of lives, which he definitely would've gotten from Nathaniel; nonetheless, it was still a surprising piece of information…
Killua shifted his weight, a sly smirk forming along his lips, "I guess I should say, good luck! I'm about to skip grades, like…" Killua brought a fist to his chin, stopping himself from finishing the sentence. His cheeks reddened at the thought, wondering why now of all stages, his only retort, involved Daniel's ass in some way or another.
It was strange to think about, considering the topic they just bounced off…
It couldn't have been from a lack of connection the two have failed to share in, for the past few weeks, thanks to Victor's recent threat. And from the look of things, it might even involve a longer time period, before the two are able to partake in a physical bonding session. If this was thanks to puberty intensifying over the last year, the last thing he should be right now… is be horny…
The boy sighed, "Anyways, I hope you're up for the challenge. We're going to demolish these grades."
"And hearts apparently…" Daniel casually flicked a finger downward. Killua's traced downward to where the offending finger was pointing at. Shit… Welp, Daniel and Scarlet both, now know what he was just thinking about.
Scarlet snickered at the situation. It looks like the boys have other topics to discuss. However, she wants no part in this topic, as it is a private matter between these boys, "Alright, I'm out. I'll leave your boys to deal with your emotions."
As Scarlet was leaving, Killua yelled back "That better not be a euphemism!" When the woman left without a word, Killua sighed, "Well… this is going to be one awkward flight…"
"Do you… want to talk about it…?" Daniel was unable to look Killua in the eyes, the feeling of need resting at the back of his mind. He really hoped his partner would react like normally, attempting to hide his not only his embarrassment, but sidestep the circumstance.
It's not that he doesn't want to talk about it, it's just the situation they just came off from, and where they are now, aren't really helping their position. However, Daniel's main problem is what he is staring at. Maybe a subconscious side of him did want Killua to continue this conversation.
"You tell me…" Killua hid his erection; it's bad enough Daniel pointed it out, but could he at least stop staring at that noticeable tenting of his pants. "Weirdo…"
Daniel closed the distance between them, pulling Killua in for a hug, no matter if something ended up poking him or not. After everything that's happened, been said…
Experienced…
He just wanted a form of physical connection, to be able to hold Killua close, without his brain thinking about that part of their relationship. However, considering how Killua accepted his gesture, his partner too, just wanted to relish in the physical contact… to able to hold his partner without the need for more than that.
"I'm glad you and I are ok…"
"Me too, dummy…" Killua let out a sigh of relief. A physical connection he can get on board with. Being forced to live with two back-to-back almost death experiences, while looking after his sister and partner, was really taxing… It didn't help that Daniel was an emotional guy.
Then again, this was supposed to be normal for him considering how he was brought up. He wanted to show his love… his affectionate side.
But then again… a part of Killua was… to say in a lack of better terms, really wanted to go town, on Daniel's ass. He wanted so badly to screw the boy's brains out, and Daniel being so laid back, rarely if ever bringing up the topic made it so much harder to keep it in the back of his mind.
He just wanted the boy to speak so openly, well… openly in the bedroom about this part of their relationship. Considering both of them were now on that page, they should talk about it.
He just… so badly wanted to experience at least one time. He wanted to go all the way with his boyfriend at least one time, to know what it was like. A part of him was afraid he might never get to…
If Daniel was afraid to bring up the topic, it might be better if he were the one to do so, "Daniel… I've been meaning to ask. Can we… you know. Do, it? I know I feel like I'm putting you on the spot-"
"Yes…"
"-and you might be…" Killua's eyes widened slightly, "was that a yes with my request, or because I put you on the spot?"
"Former…" Daniel felt his cheeks burn from the thought, but he really wanted to give this to Killua. Not because the boy was asking, or because he really wanted to do it. Having this constant threat behind their back… with Victor chasing them put things into perspective.
He wanted to do something that Killua wants to do, regardless of whether or not his comfortable to do so right now. It's just… they just have to meet in the middle, because of what Killua was asking for…
Well, he's still not emotionally, nor physically ready to bottom for his partner, "but I'm not ready to be the receiver…"
"Fine…" Killua rolled his eyes. A small part of him had hoped Daniel would've changed his mind, but it looks like he'll have to take the lead once more. Not that it would've changed if their bedroom positions were flipped.
He just… he felt as though he would've enjoyed having been able to experiment with Daniel. He wondered what kind of sounds Daniel would have made if he got off from just being used by him. He's watched enough to know what's supposed to happen, but he hasn't really experimented… back there.
It's going to be a new experience for both of them…
"But I need to at least experiment with myself, before we do anything, ok?"
"Of course…" Daniel raised Killua's hand, a small kiss being planted on the back of the boy's hand, "I wouldn't have had it any other way…"
"It still amazes… how unashamed you are when doing these things…"