HARRY POTTER AND THE SECRET ENEMY
Harry Potter and all associated characters and situations are the property of J.K. Rowling. I make no claim to ownership.
CHAPTER 12: Meet Gilderoy Lockhart
As soon as the children had fought their way into Flourish & Blotts, they quickly split up to explore the bookstore. Harry, Theo and Blaise climbed up to a second floor landing, content to observe the gathering crowd, while Hermione, Neville and the rest went off to hunt down and collect their required text books or simply to explore. Like most of his peers, Harry had already sent in an owl order for the required books along with a Gringotts draft to pay for them, and he would simply pick up a wrapped package marked with his name at the counter when he was ready to leave. He'd have rather had the books sent by owl post directly to Longbottom Manor, but Flourish & Blotts refused to send text books via owl post during "book rush," the period between August 12th and September 1st when the need for text books drove the bulk of their annual sales. After all, if a student actually has to come to the store to pick up his books, he's more likely to make an impulse purchase or two (or ten in Hermione's case) to go along with them than if he just ordered a delivery. Most Slytherins, Ravenclaws and even Hufflepuffs handled school book purchases the way Harry did. The only students actually running around the store desperately looking for their texts were First Years and Gryffindors, the latter of whom apparently considered procrastination to be a House virtue. Even Hermione declined to pre-order her text books under the theory that searching for the required texts in the stacks gave her an excuse to explore for other books that that she might never discover if she owl-ordered.
Today, however, Harry was rather surprised to see that the Hogwarts students were outnumbered by a huge coven of middle-aged witches who were filling the store while waiting for Lockhart's book-signing to start. In the middle of the store (obstructing foot traffic, Harry noted irritably) was a large table with stacks of new books ready to be autographed. Surrounding it were several large moving pictures of the man himself – Gilderoy Lockhart - smiling and winking at the crowd. Harry's immediate thought was that he was a ridiculous fop, with elaborately over-styled hair, a blue velvet and satin suit and matching cloak ("Baby Blue," he would eventually learn), and teeth that gleamed a preternatural white. Harry wondered how anyone could take such a man seriously as a "wizarding hero." Then he recalled how many people considered Jim a hero for something he did as a baby and wondered how many others were credulous enough to believe that the stories from the "Boy-Who-Lived Adventures" were actually true.
The answer to that last question came soon enough. Harry noticed the Git-Who-Lived ascending the stairs towards him, accompanied by Ron, Lavender, Ginny and Dean Thomas (with whom Ginny had struck up a conversation). Along the way, Jim stopped to give a few comments to passing reporters and to pose for a few pictures. An excited little man in a mauve top hat who introduced himself as Daedalus Diggle stopped Jim and asked him to autograph a copy of Jim Potter and The Night of the Werewolf. To Harry's amusement, it seemed clear that the silly man actually thought the children's book was nonfiction. Curiously, Harry also noticed that Jim seemed annoyed for just an instant before hiding his emotions behind a mask of faux humility and noblesse oblige along with just a dash of youthful bravado as he cheerfully signed the book. It was a fairly convincing mask that would fool most non-Slytherins. Harry also noticed that Ginny stood a few feet behind him with her arms crossed while watching the exchange with mild disapproval. Harry smiled. The Weasley Twins had mentioned that she'd read all of Jim's books, but at the time, he'd assumed they meant history books. Now that he knew about the fiction series loosely based on Jim's life, he understood her hero worship a bit better and was pleased to see her reaction to the real Jim Potter.
"Harry," Jim said coolly as he drew near.
"Hello, Little Brother!" Harry replied amiably. "How was Knockturn Alley? I'm curious to hear all about it since the papers all think I'm a future dark wizard. How ironic that you actually got to visit it before me."
"Very funny, snake. There was a Floo mishap and I just landed there on accident. I did have one interesting encounter, though. I ended up in Borgin & Burkes' antique shop and while I was hiding from the owners, your friend Draco and his Death Eater father showed up. I didn't hear everything they said, but the gist was that they were wanting to sell off some dark artifacts in case they got raided."
"Hmm. Actually, Little Brother, the only thing I find interesting about that otherwise tedious story is the amusing suggestion that Draco and I are friends. Believe it or not, it is possible and actually quite common for Slytherins to be polite and cordial to people they actively dislike or even hate. In fact, when in public, we're usually much more polite to our enemies than we are to our friends. Isn't that right, Blaise? Theo?"
"You said it, Scarhead!" said Theo cheerfully.
"Whatever, Potty, I don't even care," said Blaise with affected boredom.
Jim fumed at that. "So you're not even concerned that your ... house-mate is dealing in dark artifacts and may have had something to do with the attack on our home?!"
"Well, what exactly do you expect me to do about it? Chase down Draco Malfoy and arrest him? Why aren't you out talking to our father who is also the auror assigned to oversee all these raids on former Death Eater's homes that are all over the papers? Or maybe you plan to investigate the Malfoys yourself, perhaps accompanied by your assistant and sidekick, Slappy the Crime-Solving House Elf."
Jim's nostrils flare alarmingly at that jibe, and he started to respond angrily when Lavender stepped between the two brothers. "Oh stop it, both of you! You'll just cause a scene and get us kicked out, and I don't want to miss Gilderoy Lockhart over your lame family drama!"
Before either brother could respond to that, a door opened and in walked the store manager followed by the man of the hour: Gilderoy Lockhart in the flesh. The waiting crowd immediately broke out into loud applause which the man eagerly soaked up as he waved to everyone and flashed the smile that, according to Lavender, was the five-time winner of "Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile Award." And Harry had to admit that it was indeed an impressive set of teeth. As the man made his way through the crowd towards the signing table, Lavender reached into her purse and produced a set of omnoculars, much to Jim's annoyance.
"I cannot believe you are such a fan-girl for that ponce," he snapped. "My dad says half the things in his books are completely made up."
"Oh who cares about those stupid books!" she said without taking her eyes away from the omnoculars. "I just want to know how he exfoliates. And just look at that hair! He must have spent two hours at least styling it but there's not even a hint of any product!"
Harry looked at Lavender incredulously. "No product! Impossible!" Then, he made a grab for her omnoculars, but she slapped his hand away and shushed him as Lockhart prepared to speak. Harry rubbed his hand as he turned towards the author, and he was surprised to notice that Lockhart was looking back up at their group. As soon as they made eye contact, however, the celebrated wizard turned his attention back to the crowd downstairs waiting for his autograph.
"Ladies and gentle-wizards! Thank you all for coming out to see me on this most special occasion. I have one or two announcements before we begin the signing. To start, I would like to point out a few very special guests who I am honored to have with us. First, someone who needs no introduction ... but, ha-Ha!, I shall provide one anyway! Friends, I give you the Savior of our nation, the Bane of You-Know-Who, the legendary Boy-Who-Lived – Jim Potter!" And with that, he gestured towards the young Gryffindor and his friends up on the second floor balcony. Jim hesitated for just an instant (and Harry noticed that once again there was a flash of irritation) before the mask slipped back into place, and he smiled and waved for the loudly applauding crowd as photography bulbs flashed. Off to the side, Harry and his two Slytherin friends also applauded politely, though with just barely enough enthusiasm to ward off accusations of insincerity. Privately, Harry was fascinated to have now twice seen Jim's "Boy-Who-Lived mask" in action as he interacted with fans, and he was reminded of Luna Lovegood's cryptic remarks to that very effect. He'd always assumed Jim had reveled in his fame, and perhaps he had in years past. But since Quirrell and especially since the birthday attack, it increasingly seemed that the title of "Boy-Who-Lived" was a burden that Jim no longer enjoyed shouldering.
"But, my friends," Lockhart continued, "there are many kinds of heroes. Some, like young Jim here and, of course, myself," the wizard put his hand over his heart and bowed slightly in a calculated show of humility, "boldly stand forth as beacons of hope and courage to the world at large. But others act more quietly yet no less heroically. Many of you have read of the shocking events that took place at Potter Manor not three weeks ago. But one detail which I found to be perhaps the most extraordinary was left out of that coverage, undoubtedly due to lack of space rather than any deliberate oversight by the editorial staff, I'm sure." Lockhart glanced over at the reporters from the Prophet who were giving one another confused looks, but then, he continued without pause.
"I have spoken to several aurors of my acquaintance about those events, and they all agree that there was very nearly a fourth fatality on that awful day. Rufus Scrimgeour, our esteemed Chief Auror and one of the nation's highest ranking law enforcement officials, was severely injured and would have surely died had it not been for the quick thinking and steely resolve of three young Hogwarts students, one of whom I see here with us today. Ladies and gentle-wizards, please join me in giving a round of applause to the elder brother of the Boy-Who-Lived, Mr. Harry Potter!"
With that, and to Harry's astonishment, Lockhart pointed right at him and then began clapping profusely, and he was quickly joined by nearly everyone in the store except Jim, who was looking back and forth between Lockhart and Harry with a mixture of shock and mild anger, an expression which remained on his face right up until it was captured on film by a photographer. At that point, Jim's media savvy kicked in, and he immediately smiled at Harry and started clapping along with everyone else.
"Boys!" yelled one of the photographers. "Get closer together so we can get you in the same shot." The two Potters were visibly reluctant to do so until Blaise and Lavender from opposite directions practically shoved them together. The cameras started flashing, and Harry summoned up the old painful fake smile he hadn't bothered to use since early in his First Year. He resolved then and there to spend time in front of a mirror practicing his smile until he could reflexively produce one that seemed genuine without making his jaw ache.
"Well," he said to Jim through his teeth, "this is just ... excruciating."
"Yeah," Jim replied through a much more practiced though no less artificial grin. "Welcome to my world, snake."
After far too many seconds of this, Lockhart finally spoke up, drawing the attention of the crowd back to himself.
"Yes, the sight of these two young heroes, scions of the illustrious Potter line, fills my heart with pride. Pride and excited anticipation, which brings me to my second announcement. No doubt many of you who are Hogwarts parents have noticed that several of my works are listed as required texts for Defense Against the Dark Arts in the coming year. Perhaps you assumed that the new teacher might be one of my adoring fans, ha-Ha! but the truth is even more exciting! For I can now reveal that I, Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin (Third Class) and Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, have accepted the post of ... Professor for Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for this coming term!"
That announcement was met by gasps of surprise followed by more applause from the crowd. While Lavender seemed quite excited about the news, the other students around her clapped listlessly with barely more enthusiasm than the three Slytherins could muster for Jim earlier. For that matter, Harry and Jim didn't even clap at all. Instead, they just looked at one another, as if bonding in mutual disdain for the pretentious dandy who would be teaching what they both considered the most important class in the curriculum.
"And with that announcement out of the way, let us proceed. These books won't sign themselves, after all. Well, I suppose they can, what with magic and all, but that's not what you're here to pay for, ha-Ha!" With that, Lockhart moved around the table and sat down in an incredibly ostentatious throne-like chair provided by the bookstore. Then, he pulled out a massive ostrich quill pen - that had apparently been dyed blue to match the color scheme of his outfit - and waited for the first customer to step up for his autograph. That customer was Molly Weasley, and she did not have any books in her hands to sign but rather a piece of paper. Even up in the balcony, the Hogwarts logo at the top was plainly visible. Ron and Ginny both gasped, the blood draining from their faces.
"What is she doing?" asked Ron incredulously. Although it was too far to hear clearly, Molly was holding out the paper to Lockhart and pointing at something on it. They did manage to make out the words "five children" from whatever she was saying.
"Oh no," said Ginny shakily. "Oh no, no, no, no, no. Please tell me this is a nightmare and I'll wake up in a minute back at the Burrow."
"What is it?" asked Jim in concern.
"Our mother ... is arguing with Gilderoy Lockhart ... about the expense of having to buy thirty-five DADA text books ... in front of half of Wizarding Britain!" the girl hissed in exasperation.
Ron but his hands over his face. "I'm just gonna stand here and be horrified with my eyes closed. Let me know when it's over."
Surprisingly, however, Lockhart did not appear in the least offended, nor was he responding in his former bombastic voice that could be heard across the store. Instead, he took the Hogwarts letter from Molly, studied it with a grave expression for a few minutes, nodded at Molly and then rose from his seat. "Ladies and gentle-wizards. I do apologize, but a matter has just been brought to my attention that must be rectified before we can proceed. Please be patient for just a few minutes more." With that, he left the table to approach the manager, Wilbur Blotts, who suddenly looked a bit nervous.
"That's it," said Ginny. "Mom is going to be dragged out of Flourish & Blotts by the aurors. I cannot imagine how this day could get more embarrassing."
"Never say things like that!" hissed Blaise. "I swear, I keep telling people not to tempt the gods of irony, but they don't listen!"
"Quiet, both of you," said Harry. "This is getting interesting."
By that point, Lockhart had made his way over to Mr. Blotts and begun talking with him. They were too far away for Harry to hear anything, but the body language was fascinating. Lockhart talked reasonably with a cheerful expression on his face while gesturing amiably with his hands. Blotts suddenly looked a bit sick. Lockhart pointed to the cash register at the front of the store and then laughed as if he'd told a hilarious joke. Blotts suddenly looked a bit frightened. Lockhart put his hand on Mr. Blott's shoulder and gave him a look of polite concern as he spoke. Blotts shuddered visibly and then shook his head to say "no" to something. Then, Lockhart patted Mr. Blotts warmly on the back before returning to the signing desk while Blotts ran off gesturing wildly at several of his employees. Finally, Lockhart addressed the crowd.
"Ladies and Gentle-wizards, I do apologize to you all. It appears that a miscommunication has been made betwixt myself and the good Mr. Blotts that has led to an unfortunate error in the Hogwarts student letters. I take full responsibility as I am between secretaries at the moment and have allowed myself to become slapdash with my correspondence. Please do not hold my blunder against Mr. Blotts or his fine establishment."
With that, everyone looked at Blotts, who returned a wild glare and a slightly hysterical smile that informed all the Slytherins present and half the Ravenclaws that the "blunder" had indeed been entirely Blotts's fault and that, most likely, it was not a "blunder" but rather a deliberate attempt to cheat someone that had just blown up in his face. Whether he'd been cheating Lockhart, the Hogwarts students and their parents, or all of the above was unknown. Meanwhile, Lockhart picked up one of the books from the table and held it up to the crowd.
"You see, friends, the books on sale today which I will be autographing are special editions of seven of my prior publications as well as my newest work, Magical Me." Behind the man, one of the large moving pictures of Gilderoy Lockhart held up a copy of said book and smiled to the crowd while showing off the cover. The book cover also contained a moving picture of Gilderoy Lockhart which gave a thumbs-up gesture to the crowd. Then, the two images of Lockhart gave exaggerated winks to one another.
"In addition to new leather-bound covers and a personalized autograph by your humble wordsmith, each new edition of the books on the Hogwarts supply list also contains a special added bonus." He opened the back of the book, and from inside a pocket built into the back cover, he removed a smaller, soft-cover booklet. "Each book comes with a special removable appendix bound in a beautiful leatherette cover which provides detailed information on the various dark creatures discussed within the larger works – their histories, strengths, weaknesses and other peculiarities – as well as an in-depth discussion of each spell used within the book during the course of my efforts to bring those foul creatures to heel. It is the appendices of the seven books which are required for my future students at Hogwarts, a fact which should have been made clear in the Hogwarts supply letters but sadly was not. Now, the reason for the five-galleon retail price for each of these books - aside from the pocket part and, of course, the intrinsic value of my autograph, ha-Ha! - is that part of the profits from each sale will go to St. Mungo's Hospital, specifically to provide additional funding for the Janus Thickey Long Term and Permanent Care Ward." At that, many in the crowd began to applaud Lockhart's generosity and civic spirit.
"However, I would never be so crass as to make any child's education conditional on a charitable donation, even to a cause as worthy as that. I realize that many of you have already purchased copies of one or more of the books on sale today in earlier editions and may not wish to purchase another copy either for charity or for the appendix. Likewise, many of you may have more than one child at Hogwarts, and it would be foolishly redundant to ask you to purchase multiple copies. For those reasons, I have arranged for copies of the various appendices to be available separately, with all seven booklets bound together into a single volume. These can be found at the front of the store, where Mr. Blotts has kindly placed them underneath the counter in a box marked 'cleaning supplies' which is also covered with a heavy sheet, no doubt to prevent them from getting dusty, I suppose. These student appendices may be purchased separately at a cost of..."
Lockhart paused at that point and snapped his fingers several times as if he'd forgotten something. "So sorry all. My mind's just like a sieve today! Mr. Blotts, how much are the separate appendices retailing for? Was it two galleons?" He smiled at Mr. Blotts. "Or only one?"
Blotts was silent for a second before he spoke. "One galleon, Mr. Lockhart," he said in flat, somewhat defeated voice. The crowd murmured appreciatively at the remarkably low price.
"Ah, yes. One galleon per booklet. Or five galleons per book if you want to purchase one of the complete new edition books with an appendix for that book included in the back." He turned back to Molly and beamed at her. "Except for you, dear lady. For bringing this regrettable mistake to my attention, I insist on giving you a full copy of all seven books, plus a copy of Magical Me, at no cost."
Molly gasped and then tittered like a school girl.
"Now then, dear lady. To whom should I make out the inscription."
"Oh, er, make it out to Molly. Um, she's my daughter."
Up in the balcony, Harry summoned all of his reserves of Occlumency to avoid laughing out loud at that last exchange. Blaise, meanwhile, merely stroked his chin as if suddenly fascinated by the wizarding author.
"Do they have any spells we can learn at Hogwarts to erase this from my memory forever?" said Ginny.
"They're heavily restricted," said Ron bitterly. "Maybe we could just take turns hitting each other in the head with bricks until we get amnesia."
"Well, on the bright side," said Jim, "based on all his charity work and how he responded to Mrs. Weasley, he doesn't seem to be evil or anything."
"Please!" said Harry contemptuously. "All that guff only makes him more suspicious in my book!"
"Oh shut up, Harry," snapped Lavender. "You're just jealous of his hair!"
After the initial Lockhart spectacle concluded, Harry, Blaise and Theo quickly became bored with watching middle-aged housewives ask for autographs from the man, all the while gushing madly about how noble and courageous he was, and so they withdrew to a private reading room to discuss their observations. Harry thought Lockhart was a fraud and a con-man, while Blaise was convinced there was more to him than met the eye. For his part, Theo was confident that the man was neither a Death Eater nor a clever disguise for the Dark Lord himself, which could only be a step up from what they'd had the year before. After an hour, the trio went down stairs to complete their purchases and hand Theo off to the Malfoys for the remainder of Summer break. It was at that point that Harry learned that he'd completely missed all the real excitement.
"What do you MEAN Lucius Malfoy and Arthur Weasley got into a fistfight?!" he exclaimed to Hermione in complete astonishment.
"Exactly what I said," Hermione replied. "Malfoy and son crossed paths with the Weasleys and Jim as they were leaving. Words were exchanged on the topic of what makes a 'respectable wizard,' and the next thing I knew, the two were rolling around on the floor while Draco, Jim, Ron and the Twins were cheering them on and Ginny and Percy were just standing there aghast. I don't know if it made things better or worse when Hagrid showed up and separated them by literally grabbing them each by the scruff of the neck. Mr. Malfoy then said a few unkind remarks about everyone's relative income levels and then stormed out followed by Draco who stopped just long enough to ask me to let Theo know that they'd be waiting at Summerisle's and to not be late for dinner."
"That. Makes. No. Sense!" Harry exclaimed.
"Of course it does," said Blaise affably. "It's quarter of five and Summerisle's doesn't take walk-in diners after six."
"THAT'S NOT WHAT I ...!" Harry's exclamation stopped abruptly as he saw Blaise's mischievous grin. "You know what I mean. Lucius Lord Malfoy, head of the Ancient and Noble House of Malfoy? Getting into a fistfight with Arthur Weasley in a crowded public store? It's ridiculous!"
"Why?" asked Neville rather crossly. "What's wrong with Arthur Weasley that he's not good enough to punch Lucius Malfoy in the face?!"
"That's not ... What?!" Harry rubbed his temples for a few seconds before continuing more calmly. "Neville, I can hardly even count all the things wrong with that sentence. First of all, Mr. Weasley could lose his job by assaulting a Lord of the Wizengamot. Second, Malfoy is Lord of an Ancient and Noble House. People like that don't get into bare-knuckle brawls anywhere. If Malfoy had hired an assassin to murder Mr. Weasley, it would have been more plausible than the two getting into a fistfight like common street thugs. And thirdly, it's not that Mr. Weasley and Mr. Malfoy don't travel in the same social circles. It's more like they're not even in the same social plane. It would be like me challenging the waiter at Fortescue's to a duel because he forgot to bring me a spoon with my ice cream."
"Actually, Harry," interrupted Blaise, "the two aren't that far apart. Mr. Weasley does sit on the Wizengamot. He's got one vote by virtue of his office and another for that Order of Merlin he got for his role in bringing Erasmus Wilkes to justice. He's also the Chairman of the Wizengamot Muggle Affairs Committee. And believe it or not, the Weasleys are a Noble family."
"No they're not!" Potter countered. "I know those rolls like the back of my hand by this point, and the Weasleys aren't on it."
"You know the active rolls, Harry," said Neville. "They don't get a vote because the family isn't rich and doesn't have enough money to pay the annual dues on their seat. But Mr. Weasley is indeed entitled to many of the privileges of being Head of a Noble family."
"How much are the dues?" Hermione asked.
"Fifty-thousand galleons a year for a Noble family, and a hundred-thousand for one that's Ancient and Noble," said Theo causing Hermione to gasp in surprise.
"Exactly. The Weasleys can't afford to pay to keep their seat active," added Blaise. "Nor can any other family pay the dues for them and gain their support because Mr. Weasley suffers from that most foul and pernicious of social diseases known as 'honesty.' So their seat sits empty even as Lords Crabbe, Goyle and Parkinson exercise their votes however Lord Malfoy directs because they've sworn fealty to his House."
Harry inhaled slowly and shook his head. "No. No, there's something more going on. Draco and Ron nearly got into a fight on the train ride to Hogwarts our first year and it was obvious that they'd never even met each other before." He turned to Theo.
"Theo, I have a mission for you."
The other boy's eyebrows shot up, and he smirked at his friend. "Agent Nott, reporting for duty, sir. What do you need?"
"When you get back to Malfoy Manor, check out their library for any references to the Weasleys, anything in the past history of the two families that might explain their current and wholly irrational disdain for each other."
Theo snapped to attention and gave Harry a military salute. "Aye-aye, Captain."
Hermione rolled her eyes at that. "Oh joy," she said. "You're developing your own spy network now. All we need are wristwatch communicators and an Aston Martin, and we'll be ready to take on SPECTRE." Harry and all the other Purebloods just looked at her blankly. "Never mind! I'm not about to waste the rest of the day explaining James Bond to you lot. Get Justin to do it."
With that, the Muggleborn turned and went back into Flourish & Blotts to finish her shopping, brushing past a bemused Justin Finch-Fletchley who had arrived just in time for the end of that conversation. He turned back to his young friends. "Right-O. So there's this Muggle chap who works as an agent for Her Majesty's Secret Service. His name is Bond. James Bond."
The next chapter will be uploaded on October 5, 2015. "Modes of Transportation," in which the kids will make their way to Hogwarts, whether by train, flying car, or the mysterious "Slytherin Path." Also, Hermione learns about nargles and wrackspurts, two words that will haunt her dreams for years to come.
AN 1: I'm coming to love Justin Finch-Fletchley. I'm writing him as someone coming from a very long line of "upper class British twits" who could very easily have gone to Eton and become a Muggle Draco. But instead, he goes to Hogwarts where he is surprised to find that he's part of a disliked and discriminated-against minority group and, as a result, develops depth and empathy.
AN 2: I had the oddest experience earlier this week. I got a guest review (since deleted) from someone purporting to be HorusTheAvenger accusing me of plagiarism and demanding I take down the story. I actually searched for HorusTheAvenger on this site and he/she is indeed admin for an anti-plagiarism board here, but his/her page clearly says that anyone who posts under that title without being logged in is an impostor. I had no idea that this place was home to such cloak-and-dagger activities.:)
AN 3: UPDATE SCHEDULE! I plan to continue writing on Harry Potter and the Secret Enemy through October and hopefully finish it so that I can continue my update schedule through November. However, I definitely plan to participate in NaMoWriMo this year, and since my goal is a publishable novel, I will not be writing fanfiction at all during the month of November. Accordingly, while I hope to continue regular Secret Enemy postings until Year 2's conclusion, I do not expect Year 3 (tentatively entitled "Harry Potter and the Death Eater Menace") until January.
On a related note, I am still trying to decide exactly what I will be writing for NaMoWriMo. My current ideas are:
1. A YA fiction novel in the vein of Harry Potter but set in America with a 15-year-old protagonist who's just been dragged against his (or possibly her) will to a private school for young magic users.
2. A fantasy-Western mashup which is set in what is basically the American West circa 1880 except that magic is real and the continent is populated by humans of all stripes, High Elves who fled from France to escape the Revolution, Dwarven robber barons, Gnomish socialist agitators, Orcish train robbers, etc.
3. A "Heroes" type setting in which ordinary people gain superpowers and how the world reacts to their existence.
Do any of those sound remotely interesting to my regular readers now that you've gotten a feel for my general writing style?