Iason can't take it anymore; he breaks his silence once he sees Sakura and Gon.
It had been a few days since he overhead Gon and Sakura talking about him, expressing their urge to help him out. From the sounds of the conversation, the longer they pushed their feelings aside, the more it mentally hurt them. At the same time, as much as they wanted to reach out, Sakura admitted that he wanted Iason to be the one that needs them.
They were giving him the space he needed, and not only was it taxing on them, it was the same for Iason. Whenever he would curl in on himself, struggling to mentally shut down his thoughts, Gon true to his word, would shift slightly.
The boy as though as he was hyperaware of his feelings would curl his arm and around him, pulling him closer to his chest. He could only imagine what the boy would be like if he could tap into his Nen, learning to read his erratic flowing aura.
Sakura knew majority of the basics, but Gyo, was something he dreaded teaching his partner any time soon. Once mastered, Sakura would be able to instantly tell he was in distress.
His mental state had been degrading due to his overthinking mindset.
Even without Gyo, he was sure they could easily read his facial features. Yet, none of them approached him because of Sakura's wish. The boy was making sure neither of them were forcing themselves on him.
They're expecting him to ask for help…
And he was at breaking point…
Those few days have not helped him, in fact, it has made him feel worse than he originally was. He was making small mistakes, like accidentally cooking a whole egg, shell and all in one of his omelettes.
He was just lucky it was the one he took for himself. After they started to pick up on his daily struggles, Gon and Sakura had taken over cooking. Their cooking wasn't rich in flavours, but at least he wouldn't have to worry giving his either of his partners food poisoning.
He felt both helpless and thankful after that situation. Sure, that meant Sakura and Gon now stayed more often at the hotel, but like they promised, they still didn't bother him all day.
They kept mostly to themselves, peeking to check and make sure he was still ok. That he wasn't doing anything that would result in him making an accidental mistake.
Iason wanted to understand the dream on his own, but after almost a week, he learned nothing. His mind continued to focus on everything else but the issue at hand. Whether he learns anything or nothing at all by the end of the week, he promised himself he'd give up.
Even if he must scream sorry a million times, he just can't take it anymore…
He'll apologise to Gon and Sakura, maybe not so much begging them for help. But at least to explain his dream to a certain degree. He doesn't feel comfortable explaining everything that happened in his dream, but at least enough to help them understand.
A moment where he'll feel vulnerable, but, if Sakura and Gon continue to remain at his side, he can't complain.
Telling them that he knew his parents before going to an orphanage… what had exactly happened to them, was an uncomfortable topic he wasn't ready to talk about.
On Sunday, he'll tells them a fraction of the truth… whether he understands the meaning behind his dream or not.
It'll be the start to a long overdue healing process…
"~"
Iason found himself sulking on Sunday, eyes drawn to the table, a blank sheet of paper representing his inner thoughts of the dream at hand. He never learned anything about his dream, because at the end of the day…
His mind kept being drawn back to Gon and Sakura.
He couldn't stop thinking about them, what they said that day. How worried they have been about him…
He has never felt so defeated before; about a dream saying at some point he shows his partners his parents' grave. He knows the place wouldn't exist, but why on earth would that be his future if he knows for a fact, that they would've never been buried.
Was the tree itself fickle…?
Was it some elaborate hoax that sucked poor Gon and Sakura in…?
What was their dream even about?
He never asked…
He should've asked at least at some point. But he hadn't… another reason he saw himself as wasting time on understanding his dream. Now that he thought about it, what if each and everyone of them got a piece of the puzzle? Where individually, an aspect of their his dream appeared in his partners' dream.
Was he grasping at straws here or at some point, was he hoping to find something else that made more sense?
His head shot up when he heard the familiar sound of the front door unlocking. He jumped at the sound, leaving the blank paper for a glimpse of his partners' expressions.
He wondered what their expression would be once they saw his face.
He bit his lip in anticipation, the door opening wide. There Sakura and Gon were, holding shopping bags; neither of them were looking up.
Their eyes were focused on their shoes as they were taking them off, Gon sliding his under the shoe rack as Sakura had place his in the middle aisle of the rack.
Sakura was the first to look up, his expression filled with worry. He was perplexed, unsure whether he wanted to ask what was wrong, or give a nod of acknowledgement.
It was when Gon caught Iason's gaze, that the flood gates of the boy's heart finally snapped. Gon was looking at him. lips twisted into a warm smile. Somehow, a small part of him imagined that this was going to be his partners' first reaction…
But at the same time, just seeing Gon's smile, and Sakura worried for him, made his heart finally crack. It was a single step forward before he found himself running towards his partners. Both had dropped their shopping bags in anticipation for what was about to come.
What surprised Iason that evening, was who's arms he jumped into. In this instance, it was usually Gon who would be holding onto them. But it was as though his body actively ignore the boy's presence, opting for the one who knew how to piece his broken heart back together with words.
He had buried his face in Sakura's chest, clinging to the boy as he fell to his knees. It was all his mind could take because the next thing he knew, he was sobbing into his partner's waist, uttering apologies like it was going out of style.
Sakura took hold of the situation with a worried glance, looking towards his other partner for guidance. He was faced with a difficult situation, not because of who was broken in his arms, it was due to not being prepared in this situation.
He was expecting Iason to run into Gon's arms not his. But then he remembered, as much as he would love to depend on his other partner here, Iason had chosen him for a reason. He dropped to the floor so he could hold Iason closer.
He didn't care that some of the stuff needed to go in the fridge. What was more important, was understanding the situation.
Had Iason snapped without their knowledge?
Was everything just hitting his partner at once, like the crumbling floor falling out from under him?
Will the boy tell them what is going on or continue to keep everything inside…?
"It's ok…" The boy spoke softly, pulling the boy up so his head could rest within the crane of his neck. He tried to replicate Gon's ministration, running fingers from above the waist, along the groves up through the boy's hair; it was constant, up and down, tracing a new path as he tried finding the most effective way to calm his partner down.
Gon was shocked, seeing Iason going straight for Sakura. He was half expecting his boyfriend to run into his arms, just like he had done the last few nights. However, seeing Iason in Sakura's arms would've brought a smile to his lips, if it was under different circumstances.
Like Sakura, he chose to ignore their shopping for the moment. He circled Iason, while watching his partner carefully run his fingers along their partner's back and hair. Without his help, he could see his boyfriend was doing a great job of calming their partner.
He felt like the boy wouldn't need his help Afterall. As much as he wanted to watch Sakura regain lost time, time he missed out on getting to hold their partner, Iason would've needed both of his partners by his side.
He, like Sakura, dropped to his knees. He wrapped his arms around both of his partners, pulling them both into his chest. Sure, it meant Sakura could no longer comfort Iason, but at the same time, it meant Iason would feel protected from his worries.
Hopefully, by having both of his partners pressed into him, he'd continue to be comforted by the warmth of Sakura and himself.
The sobbing hadn't stopped just yet, but just by the way Gon was moving his hands, he could feel where Iason had been originally clutching Sakura's shirt. Gon's hands circled his partner's intertwining his fingers between Iason's; by wrapping his fingers between his boyfriend's, he could ease the boy into letting go of his death grip.
The boy let go.
It took a bit of coaching, but eventually the sobbing had mellowed out. However, the boy was still unwilling to talk. He needed a little more time to get everything out of his system. So quietly, Sakura tapped Gon on the shoulder, ushering him to let go for a moment.
With a nod, Gon let go, removing his fingers from in-between Iason's. As soon as Gon let go, Iason gripped Sakura's shirt more tightly.
"It's ok…" Sakura lightly tapped his partner's shoulder as he tried helping the boy up, "We're just going to move to the couch so that you're not in an uncomfortable position."
"O…" Iason sniffed loudly, his throat dry and eyes sore from crying for so long, "Ok…"
"Gon get him a glass of water."
"R-Right!"
As the boy moved around in the kitchen, Sakura moved his crying partner to the couch, refusing to let go just in case Iason snaps in two. He still wasn't aware of how much pain his boyfriend was in, so he wasn't about to let go completely.
Gon returned with a filled cup, smiling widely as his partner looked over to him.
Iason felt meek in this situation, so fragile after throwing himself at Sakura. He didn't feel bad for doing it, it's just him breaking down that very moment, made him feel exhausted. He took the cup from Gon, sipping at its contents as Gon rubbed circles along his shoulder.
What do I even say…?
As if reading his mind, Sakura kept his tone calm and neutral, "Tell us what you prepared to tell us. As slowly as you want…"
With a nod, Iason looked down at his cup, hands shaking slightly.
Gon wrapped his fingers around Iason's, helping the boy steady his cup, "We're here for you…"
Iason was almost ready to breakdown once more from those words. He had kept silent, struggling to say a single word with them since that incident. And here they were, telling him to take as long as he needs.
The problem wasn't how long he needed… it was what was the right word to say in this situation, "Where do I begin…?"
"Anywhere… How about what filled you with so much remorse?"
Iason tightened is fists; as Sakura was about to apologise for his word choice, Iason let out an exaggerated sigh, "It's about my dream…"
Sakura circled his fingers around his partner's back, coaxing him into moving at a pace he was comfortable with.
"To tell you the true, I don't feel comfortable saying everything that happened in that dream… it relates a little to my past… But that doesn't mean I should continue to keep silent. You've been here for every step of the way. You've even slept for almost a week alone. For that… I apologise."
"No…" Sakura shook his head, "It's ok. Your health comes first."
"But it wasn't right for me to do that to you!" Iason half yelled, more frustrated with himself, "The conditions you set on yourself wasn't right! This is supposed to be a tri-relationship, not a third-wheel relationship… I kept asking for Gon, while actively ignoring you… I should've never done that. Especially… with someone who does make me feel comfortable…" The boy's cheeks turned dusty pink "protected…"
Sakura hugged his partner, "I'm glad you feel that way. The whole protected and comfortable part… not the other bit. Listen, we love you… so if you want to spend more time with either of us, we're glad to. There's no need for you to think or believe that either of us would feel like a third-wheel."
Iason relented at the fact, feeling somewhat better that Sakura doesn't consider him wanting to spend more time with Gon to be a bad thing. He shifted slightly, twiddling his thumbs, "I hope so…" he uttered under his breath before continuing "Well… The nightmare was related my past. I don't understand how my, or should I say our future… hinges on an impossibility. Logistically, the dream is impossible to achieve."
"I don't think so…" Gon argued with a smile, "anything is possible if we do it together."
"No…" Iason huffed out in annoyance, "I can't change the past. That's why this supposititious dream is impossible… I… We just can't…"
"Then…" Sakura circled his hand, "tell us what you're prepared to talk about. We won't push you to tell us the whole dream, just what you can…"
"Ok…" Iason looked down at his fingers, "I can do that. What I can say is… It was us three… standing on top of a cliff of some sort. We were… or I was, I guess I could argue was observing the deep ocean…"
Sakura and Gon's widened in surprise. Gon was about to open his mouth, but Sakura held a finger to his lips, eyes pleading for the boy to remain quiet. He shouldn't say anything, just in case they assume Iason's sequence of memories.
"When I turned around, I could see there was two others with me. They looked like people I didn't know. But when they turned to face me, they had similar features to you two, except they were different. Both of you were older. I would say… in mid-twenties, late 10s. So, between 18 to say… maybe 25. Well, you two were looking at some… tombstones. But when you turned around to say something to me, it was like I was deaf of something…"
He looked up, surprised by the shock on their face.
"What's wrong…?" He paused, realising he made a grave error, "Oh, don't freak out. I don't think I was deaf. I believe the two of you would learn sign language if that was the case…"
Sakura and Gon's expression shifted to a warm smile, hiding away their true feelings. What Iason had talked about, they had already seen from their perspective. If Iason continued along this path, it's most likely he saw the gravestones as well.
But what Iason said would also be true. If either of them lost their hearing, they'd pick up sign language just so they could continue to converse with one another.
With a twiddle of his thumbs, he reached the hardest point to admit. He can't say the name… he's not quite ready to admit that right now, "When the two of you moved, I saw… Well, I don't feel comfortable admitting what caused me to… break. The… There were two gravestones…"
Sakura and Gon's further widened in shock. The three of them had a shared dream, with minor differences between each other. Iason had confirmed their suspicions. The only problem was whose name was written on the gravestones.
They had to have been close to Iason, enough for him to know the names, and for them to not.
Iason was quick to dismiss the possible thought, "Don't panic. Your names weren't on the tombstones…"
"No, no, no…" Sakura dismissed the thought with a wave of his hands. He needed to explain the situation or Iason would think otherwise, "It's not that. We… had similar dreams." Iason's eyes widened as Sakura continued "The sequences were different. At least for myself. It didn't look like Gon or yourself were any older than you are now."
"Me neither…" Gon shook his head, "But on the gravestone-"
"You saw the names?!" Iason panicked; the two of them could have been able to see the names he saw. If that was the case, he wasn't ready to explain why the surname on the tombstones, didn't match his. Then again, they could've chopped it up to being a close family friend.
However, given the fact that he stated he grown up in an orphanage, that information would help understand who was buried in that dream. He has dropped other hints as well, but the pieces were there to put the jigsaw back together.
He had no chance of denying anything if that were the case.
But then again, none of this would make sense. Why was he the only one who saw his two partners being older? The reasoning couldn't be as simple as saying because they trust him now, he appeared younger. But in his dream, because they were older, his mind was altering their age to match what part of his life he was prepared to wait to, until he felt comfortable admitting any of this…
"N- N- No!" Sakura panicked as well, "there were no names on the gravestones. At least… when we were observing them."
"You couldn't see the names?" Iason asked in a rhetorical sense, wondering why that was another difference between them. His partners didn't know who the gravestones belonged to, nor why in his dream, they were older than they currently were. Why was his so vastly different…?
Did these differences even help him understand his dream a little better? He didn't believe so… The whole time he wasted trying to understand the dream on his own, still didn't make a lick of sense, now knowing that the three of them shared a similar dream.
It left him with more questions, like:
Why did they share the same dream?
Was it because they were cuddling up with each other before drifting off to sleep?
Was Gon having a different dream before the three of them snuggled up with each other?
Why could none of them hear, but see each other…?
But the most important question of them all, why did his lovers appear older than they were? Was that a biproduct of his thoughts…?
He shook the thought away. With all things to consider, he doesn't know if they'll look like that when they're older. What was more important, was admitting something he was comfortable to say to them… at least to divert the topic a little "Y'know… In my dream, while you looked older… I saw you two were…" The boy blushed, now that he thought about it, "really attractive."
Sakura's cheeks matched his partners, "I- In what w- way?"
"Well, Gon was… muscular… chiselled features and a… he had this look…"
Gon tilted his head slightly, "Look?"
"Don't make me say what kind!"
"I- I- I would never push you to say it."
Sakura quickly changed it, "Ah… what about me?"
"Soft features… very… pretty. And um… fun-sized…"
"I knew it… I'm gonna be short for the rest of my life!"
Gon chuckled at his two embarrassed partners, "I don't think so. About the short bit at least… Besides…" The boy twirled a finger around, "you're already pretty…"
The boy choked a little, causing Iason to burst into laughter. He couldn't deny that. Sakura will always be 'pretty' in his books.
Sakura felt himself melt into a smile, shifting the topic once more, "How do you feel now Iason, better?"
"Confused…" He admitted quietly, "but otherwise better. I would like to… um… to spend nights together… the three of us."
Sakura's cheeks widened slightly, "I would like that too. I hope one day you'll be comfortable to tell us about the part of the dreams you're not ready to say yet. We'll continue to love and respect you, no matter whose names were written on the gravestone. We won't pry…"
"Thank you…"
Gon pressed his hands together, "Well, I know it's possibly too early to celebrate…" Gon left to head over to the door, shifting through the bags to find the gift he hoped to share with his partners, "we brought cake. Chocolate cake… I hope you like it." He brought the cake to the bench, cutting a small slice to place it on a plate. Bringing it over to his partner, his smile widened, "We wanted to get this in hopes of cheering you up… Like Sakura says, you mean a lot to us. We want you to be happy to be with us every step of the way… no matter what…"
Dropping off the plate on the coffee table in front of Iason, he sat once more next to his partner. With a ever so slightly widening smile, he pulled the boy into a vice tight grip "Please speak to us more often. We're here to listen to you… to be with you every step of the way. Ok…?"
Gon drew the boy's lips to his, savouring a shared kiss between them.
Iason gripped his partner's shirt, tears welling up once more. When did he get such understanding partners? Does he deserve this happiness after how he treated them…?
When Sakura held him from behind, even if he felt like he didn't deserve any of this love and affection, he realised his mistakes now… He needs them to be a part of his life, no matter what.
Distancing himself from them makes him feel miserable. He wished he could've seen it sooner…
But if there's one thing he learned from his dreams…
No matter what, Gon will always be really, damn attractive. And Sakura will always be beautiful in his books. He just wished that his body wasn't betraying him now… When Gon's hand trace downward, he gave Iason a gentle squeeze.
Shit… There goes my sanity… "Now is not the time…"
Gon pulled away with a knowing smile, "I know. But it makes me happy…"
Sakura peeked from behind Iason. Did Gon just cop-a-feel during this tender moment? He narrowed his eyes, shooting daggers at his partner. Now wasn't the time for that sort of thing. They just got Iason to open up, to spill his feelings "Hands off! We're not taking advantage of the situation…" Even though he too, wanted to be touched by his partners…
Alright, I finished this chapter early. So, this will be the last one for the year. Some future events coming up:
Halloween Dress Up
Gon X Sakura(first time)
Christmas Party
Vastorie's Backstory, from Eifion's POV
School Drama Arc!
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!