Holy hell, what a sunrise.

Shepard was standing - yes, standing - in front of the window with a cup of tea in his right hand facing east, watching as the oranges and yellows slowly chased away the dark of night. Looking over his shoulder, he caught a glimpse of sunlight catching Tali's mask just right. Holding a small smile, it allowed him a fleeting glimpse of her closed eyes and her dainty nose. He sighed in contentment, totally relaxed for the first time in what felt like forever.

"I can't remember the last time I just sat down."

Shepard frowned at the thought - the memory of the last conversation he had - that he would ever have - with David Anderson. More than just an admiral and a fighter, he had been a mentor to Shepard for so many years. He had helped to pull a young, cocky, and often belligerent soldier out of the depths of his own torment, and then played no small part in molding him into what he was today.

A hero.

But more importantly? He had helped Shepard become a good man.

"I'm proud of you, son."

To hear those words come from Anderson at that moment - when the admiral had finally resigned himself to his fate - was perhaps the most bittersweet moment Shepard could imagine. Well…almost. It was certainly the most bittersweet moment that hadn't involved Tali, anyway.

"Come back to me…"

Even now, those four words haunted him. And even though he had done just that, they would likely haunt him for the rest of his life. There was no way for him to erase the feeling that he had known then. He imagined that he would also be apologizing to her for that for the rest of his life.

And she would deservedly call him an idiot for not letting it go. But he couldn't; there had simply been too much pain.

He took a deep breath, trying to reset his thoughts to return to the present, and to far more pleasant things.

What a couple of days it had been. First Miranda, then that evening, then therapy, then…everything that had come after. He felt not just relaxed, but he felt cleansed. He felt like so much dirt and grime that had clung to him - his mind and soul - had been freshly washed. The stains were still there, but he could deal with those, he thought. Again he thought of Tali.

What a blessing she was.

She is so beautiful, and so good to me.

As he glanced down at his tea before swallowing the last little bit that remained, he knew that she had been the reason he felt cleansed in the first place. Idly, he held the cup in his hand, not yet ready to recuse himself from the scene.

After everything that's happened, I suppose I still count myself as being lucky. I'm alive. At this, he let out a snorting laugh. Barely, and it's probably more than I deserve, but fuck it. I can't change it, so I'm going to enjoy it. I'm going to enjoy Tali. I'll enjoy us. And goddammit, I'll make sure that we wring everything we can out of this life of ours that I've stumbled back into.

A group of what appeared to be four or five teenage humans, along with a pair of similarly aged turians and an asari passed by across the street, apparently out for an early morning winter run. Fascinated, he watched as the smoky breath escaped them.

Look at them. Full of life, energy, and a future. Tali was right; like always. They have their whole lives ahead of them - free from Reapers and impending doom. They'll grow up, get good jobs, get married - or not; whatever - and hopefully have long and fulfilling lives. Lives that we helped to secure.

The commander glanced down at his cup after raising it nearly to his lips again, forgetting that he'd already emptied it. With a snicker, he placed it on the window sill and quietly limped back to the hospital bed where a sleeping quarian had stretched herself out. First, he simply admired the form and shape of her body. His eyes roamed over her, paying attention to those long, strong legs, her wide hips and narrow waist. Finally, his eyes rested on her mask, knowing what lay behind it. Javik had been right, he thought with a smile, it really was a shame that quarians were held prisoner behind such things. He smiled again as he leaned in to hear the sound of her purred breathing, and placed a soft kiss on her closest hand before returning to the window.

I never thought I'd want to thank Saren, but if it wasn't for his stupid indoctrinated ass, we wouldn't have met, Miss vas Normandy. I'm sure you're aware of that, and everything would have turned out completely differently.

Shepard frowned slightly then, as he realized that "completely differently" might have also entailed mass extinction on a galactic level.

Yes, but you crossed my path. You made saving the galaxy possible in the first place. And while we lost so many people…

The frown returned and his throat constricted ever so slightly at the thought of the losses they'd endured.

…there are so, so many that we've kept.

He thought of his closest friends - Garrus and Liara - with a small grin. He reminded himself to check his omnitool for messages after Tali woke up. In the hospital, the last thing he had thought of needing was an omnitool. He had only seen Garrus on the day after he had been released to this room. That was nearly two weeks ago by now, he thought. Maybe more.

Time flies.

And just where the hell were they?

"So wait, you didn't see his message in your inbox, then you forgot that Garrus messaged you?" Shepard laughed loudly at the ridiculousness of it all. He wasn't really angry (but maybe just a little annoyed), he literally just thought it was funny as hell.

Besides, it wasn't like he and Tali hadn't had issues of their own to work out.

"Yes, John. I forgot." Tali giggled, shaking her head with her hand planted firmly on her mask; a facepalm if John had ever seen one. She couldn't believe that she'd forgotten. "Keelah, John. We had other stuff going on. And yesterday was a little overwhelming." He nodded his head in agreement. "Besides, he told me to 'keep calibrating', so that's what I did; tried to calibrate you. And boy, did you need a lot of it."

Shepard laughed again, then stopped mid-laugh, his mouth fully open. "Wait, Tali. What did he say?"

Tali shrugged. "He told me to 'keep calibrating'." She even did the air quotes thing that humans were so fond of.

"He did not. Tali, please tell me that he -"

She didn't see what the big deal was. Yeah, she had found it funny, but John's reaction gave her pause. Had he committed some strange human faux pas? Shrugging her shoulders, she whipped out her omnitool and translated it to English for him to read. He read it, whispering aloud. He read it again.

The noise that erupted from him made Tali wince at first. It'd been so long that she didn't even recognize it for what it was: laughter. It was full, joyous, unadulterated laughter. He almost fell out of his chair in the cafeteria, he was laughing so hard. He didn't even care that every other head in the room was giving him sideways looks at his display. Christ, he hadn't laughed this hard in a very long time.

Fuck 'em.

Tali simply watched on in a mixture of embarrassment, wonder, and sheer unfiltered joy. There were no words that she knew of to describe how seeing him like this - laughing, smiling, at ease with himself - made her feel. She was so happy, even if they really should be more concerned about their friends. In reality, they had absolute faith in the both of them, and were convinced that they were fine. But then again…

Two weeks?

That was too long, even for them.

And why Illium?

When Shepard finally collected himself, face beet red from the experience, he tried to be serious. "Ok, Tal. Two weeks is a long time. And I'm with you - I'd rather get the Admiralty Board off your ass as soon as possible. Maybe Ash knows why she went to Illium. He did say that she went to the Normandy to get her stuff first." He grasped her hands in reassurance. "I don't have therapy until this afternoon, and the doctors gave me clearance as long as they could monitor vitals through my omnitool. I'll grab that, send a message to Miranda, and roll." He squeezed her shoulder and smiled - that damn half-smirk again. "So let's go over to the QEC terminal and see what's what, ok?"

The quarian admiral nodded in agreement.

"Okay then. Let's go."

"Commander Ashley Williams. It is damn good to see you. How are you? How's my ship?"

Shepard stood in the QEC terminal, smiling broadly and leaning on his cane with Tali beside him as she rubbed his back.

The blue-tinted digitized version of one Commander Ashley Williams of the Systems Alliance, and second human Spectre, regarded the sight of her friends with a wide grin. Laughing at the implication that she would somehow damage "his" ship, she fired right back.

"Your ship?" She looked around in mock surprise. "I don't see you aboard." Sheepishly, she added a quiet "sir," just for good measure. "Furthermore, commander, I'm pretty sure that your chain-of-command goes through the lovely admiral at your side." Ashley regarded his bondmate with a pleasant smile.

"Tali, how are you doing? Is he giving you any trouble?"

The quarian slipped her arm through the crook of Shepard's arm and patted his shoulder. "Oh, you know, Ash. Just enough to keep me entertained and not enough to make me punch him. Bosh'tet that he is."

Ashley chuckled. "That's good enough for me." Her expression turned slightly more serious. "Commander…" Ashley shook her head dismissively, "Shepard, I'm sorry I couldn't stop by. I wanted to. But I had orders from the interim council, and well, it's been a lot." The tone of her voice betrayed how tired she felt. "I'm just…sorry."

With a soft grin, he shook his head. "Ash, don't sweat it. There's a whole galaxy that's in need of some rebuilding. And quite honestly, I've needed the peace and quiet." He thought about how that sounded. "Uh, not that I would've minded. It's just…Ash…it's been a lot here, too." The fatigue of the last couple of weeks was sorely evident in his voice as he massaged his forehead.

"But, it's getting better, in no small part due to this one over here." He cocked his head in Tali's direction.

"Keelah, John. You sound like a hanar. 'This one over here'." She shook her head. "Idiot."

Shepard gave her a sidelong glance, mockingly incredulous while Ashley let out a hearty laugh.

"So, Ash. We need a favor."

She chuckled again. "Of course you do, sir."

He waved his hand dismissively. "Don't hit me with that 'sir' bullshit, Ash. You're a Spectre, and I don't even outrank you anymore."

"Old habits die hard, sir." After their shared laughter, she followed up on the favor.

"So, guys. What do you need from me?"

Tali's modulated voice chimed in next. "Ashley, we're looking for Liara. Well, Garrus too. They've kinda gone 'off the grip'."

Shepard laughed and rubbed his forehead in mock exasperation. "It's 'grid', Tali. 'Off the grid'."

The quarian scoffed as she punched him lightly on the shoulder. "Whatever. See what I mean, Ashley? Bosh'tet."

"Yes, Tali. Some things don't change. To answer your question, all I know is that she went to Illium. Garrus asked me if she had said why she had gone there. And well, I had no idea. Still don't."

Shepard furrowed his brow. "Did she take her Broker gear with her, or is it still aboard?"

She shook her head. "No sir. She had it packed up and brought aboard an asari vessel called the Silent Veil. The registry indicated she was the owner. When I asked if she needed any help, she simply told me that she didn't." She raised her hands to suggest that she had no idea what was going on, either. "She was actually…kinda rude about it."

"Hmmph." Shepard looked at the floor, but didn't see it. He didn't like the implication. Liara had always been a bit introverted…okay, a lot introverted, but she was a friend. Whatever it was, it couldn't be good. And Illium? He wasn't sure how well they'd held out against the Reapers. He vaguely remembered that the planetary forces had put up a decent resistance. But now?

He had no idea. And why did she need Garrus?

Questions. Always more questions.

He exhaled sharply before returning his attention to the QEC. "Ash, thanks for your help. I appreciate it. And next time you're in the neighborhood stop by and see us. I'm not sure how long I'll be at the hospital, so shoot us a message okay?"

"Of course, sir. It was great to see you, and I'm thankful that you're on your feet again. I was…" She paused as a quick frown crossed her face. "Well, I was worried, sir. About both of you. I'm just glad that you're okay. It's the least that you deserve."

"Ash, thank you. For everything. Stay in touch, okay? You're not done with us yet."

She snapped a smart salute. "Of course, sir." Dropping the salute and adding a grin, she addressed his companion. "And Tali? Take care of him, will you? I mean, we all know he won't do it himself."

"Ugh, don't I know it. I'll take care of him." She patted his backside. "I've got plenty of motivation."

Shepard just shook his head in humored exasperation. "Bye, Ash."

They turned away as the terminal winked out.

"'Plenty of motivation'?"

"What? It wasn't a lie, you handsome bosh'tet."

"So what do we do about them?"

Back in his room, he watched as Tali ate her lunch through her induction port. She shook her head in between swallows.

"John, I don't know. There aren't ships to spare, and we've got our own problems." She set the little tube containing her lunch down and looked at him. "You're not ready for anything like this. You're still in a hospital. Though," she thought on this as she gave him an appraising look, "not for long, by the look of you. But in any case, we don't have a ship, and I have a mission for the Board that I've got to fulfill. The problem, John, is that I don't have anyone I can trust for a strictly quarian mission."

John was confused. "Well, wouldn't the Alliance, or the asari - hell, anybody - have already pulled the data?"

"Mmm. I asked Hackett the same question - admiral to admiral - and he told me that they had tried." She swallowed another mouthful of her lunch. "Apparently, you had the best tech expert in the galaxy serving alongside you this entire time, saera, because they'd gotten nowhere." She stuck a dismissive thumb over her shoulder and shook her head derisively.

"Well, I could've told them that. So, I have a dumb question."

"John, every question you ask is a -" She began to reply dryly before being interrupted as John rolled his eyes.

"Now that is not true," he protested with a pointed finger.

"Mmmm, yes it is. Remember when we killed that Reaper on Rannoch?"

"Of course I do. So?" He failed to see where this "dumb question" was coming from.

"Well, afterward, you asked me if I would come with you." She shook her head dismissively. "Idiot, like I would have said 'no'."

"That's not fair! You told me to ask you!"

She started giggling at him. "Yes, but that's because you told me that you weren't going to ask!"

He saw where this was heading and decided to stop fighting. "Okay, okay. Fine. You win."

Tali gave him a satisfied "Hmmph" for his trouble.

"So, what was your 'dumb' question?"

He looked at her with eyes that were almost pleading. "Aren't there other quarians to do this? And why you?"

"That's two questions," she teased before continuing. "Well, because the admirals are all assholes, except for Auntie Raan, of course. Although even she…"

"She what?"

Tali shook her head. "Nothing, John. I'm sure she had her reasons."

Reasons for what?

He sighed. "Okay, I'll drop it. But I have no qualms with dropkicking 'Auntie Raan' if I have to." She stuck her tongue out at the remark. It was something that she'd seen a human child do while they were on Terra Nova years ago; it seemed appropriate.

"Do you know why they made me an admiral, John?" She asked rhetorically and continued before he could even respond. "They only made me an admiral because of my knowledge of the Geth. It's almost like it's just some sort of title, and little else." She sighed heavily. "And they felt that it would be a 'morale boost'," she used the finger quotes again to make her point (she was really growing fond of them), "if another celebrated Zorah remain on the board. And now that the war is over?" She shrugged her shoulders ruefully. "I was convenient."

He frowned at her admission. "Is that true, Tali? Surely they would have -"

"No, John. Shala showed me the back and forth herself." She swallowed hard. "She was the only dissenting voice. She said that I either be made an admiral - on equal footing, with my own ship and everything - or not at all." He placed a gentle hand on hers. "I guess when you're an admiral primarily because you're an expert on the Geth, once they're gone, what's the point?"

Tali thought of the months when they had been separated, she back to her fleet and Shepard to house arrest. It pained her still that not only had she been forced apart from her saera, and he was forced to suffer a disgrace that was entirely not of his making (a scapegoat of convenience, she had thought more than once), but that she had taken up the mantle of "admiral" of the quarian fleet - also of convenience. It had been a responsibility that she had not taken lightly - despite the circumstances surrounding it. She had missed him so terribly during that time - she was convinced that she was out of her depth - but she had soldiered on, trying to do what he would've done.

And they had still gone to war anyway. What a waste.

Her thoughts were interrupted.

"What was the second point?"

"Honestly, I don't think that they would trust other quarians with this, either. They know me, they know my background and how well I understand - understood -" she saw the look that flashed across Shepard's face at the use of the past tense. She squeezed his hand reassuringly. "The Geth. Frankly, they don't think other quarians would approach their request with an open mind. They agreed that my team would be my choice, but…I don't want to give Han or Daro a reason to doubt anything, whatever that ends up being. And besides, I'm already in the neighborhood." She swallowed the last of her lunch before continuing. "Now, obviously, I think you and I could do it if you were at full strength," she paused slightly as she recalled her moment of weakness, hoping that John would not be able to take on such responsibilities again. "But that's not the case. We have no idea what we'd find, and I'm not going to risk you like that. What we need -"

"Are Garrus and Liara," he completed for her.

Tali sighed. "Yes, that's who we need. They're the only ones I would trust - and that the other admirals, including Xen and Gerrel - would accept without issue with something like this."

"But didn't they say that -"

"Yeah, I did say that they agreed that I would choose my team, but I still don't trust those two. Especially those two."

"Do you think we could get the Normandy? Would they be okay with Ash? She's a council Spectre, after all."

He was grasping at straws, and they both knew it.

Damn it, Vakarian. Just where the hell are you?

It was at that precise moment when they heard a soft knock at the door that acted as an announcement for Admiral Hackett's arrival. A small smile touched the corners of his mouth as he waited patiently outside the room.

"Commander Shepard, Admiral Zorah. Good afternoon. May I enter?"