John had rewatched the latest Blasto! film on his omnitool, trying to keep his mind occupied instead of running wildly through 31 different worst case scenarios about how his little chat with Shala'Raan was going to go. She had informed him that she would go by his schedule. Tali had a meeting with the board that afternoon, but if Shepard could inform her as soon as Tali had left for her mission, she would happily meet with him.

John'Shepard vas Earth,

I would do anything for my Tali, John'Shepard, just as you would. As you are bound by her availability, only say the word and I would happily discuss things with you.

Keelah Se'lai

Admiral Shala'Raan vas Tonbay

Migrant Fleet

"'vas Tonbay'? Shala, I would've thought that you'd be 'vas Rannoch' by now." He made a mental note to ask her about that when they spoke.

He liked Raan. She had Tali's best interests at heart, even during her trial. She had provided valuable information regarding the other admirals and their possible motivations. Neither he nor Tali had particularly cared for not receiving any information until they'd arrived at the fleet, but he at least understood why she hadn't.

He had then gone through most of the personal items in the box that he had received, removing only the ring (hidden in the drawer next to his bed, under his clothes), a "get-well" card signed by the crew, and the model of the Rayya that he had picked up on one of their trips to the Citadel. He wasn't sure how much longer he'd be stuck in room 407, but he would at least put a little bit of "home" into the place while he could. Therapy was going well, he thought. His ankle, as he'd been warned, was still very much a work-in-progress, but his shoulder and knee were coming along nicely.

As for the lungs? Yeah, they were still a problem, and likely would always be.

Probably won't be brandishing one of Tali's shotguns anytime soon, but that was never my cup of tea anyway. He mused over the notion of not having to choose which weapon - pistol, assault rifle, or submachine gun - would be the best choice for ending some mercenary stronghold or Cerberus cell. He banished the idea just as quickly with a scoff. Yeah, don't think that'll ever go away, there's always going to be a need for such things. And I'll always be ready for whatever does come up.

"Which is as it should be."

"Should be what, John?"

He smiled at the sound of Tali's voice, meeting her with a tight hug before she'd taken more than two steps into the room. She reciprocated the embrace and released a contented sigh. Shepard was relieved to feel her body relax against him as she rested her head against his chest for a moment. Man, she was tired though, and he could feel it.

"Just thinking aloud. About which weapons I'd still be able to use after we go home."

"Weapons? You must be getting better if you're thinking about those again." There was a hint of worry in her voice that he easily picked up on.

"Don't worry, Tal. Nothing has changed. It's just that, you know, I was a soldier for a long time. 'Old habits' and all that." He ran his hands along her hips and up her back, as she hummed happily at the touch.

"I missed you today, saera." Tali still hugged him tightly.

"I know, sweetheart. I missed you too."

When they released their embrace, Tali gestured toward the container sitting on the floor. "What's all this?"

"Ashley had a bunch of my things sent along from the Normandy. Personal items and stuff." He pointed to the model of the Rayya, "I already found one thing to keep out."

Tali stepped toward it, picking up the model in her hands. She regarded it with a careful sense of wonder, turning it around in her hands while occasionally running a finger along its surface.

"My father's…our quarters were right about here." She pointed to a spot near the top of the quarian liveship. "I remember running down to the craft and trade bazaar that was two levels down from us." John knew she was wearing a soft, sad smile. "Me and our neighbor's daughter - Mina'Tayel - used to play near there when we were children." She let out a rueful laugh. "I don't even know if she made it back from her pilgrimage, let alone the Reapers." She held it close to her, almost hugging the model before setting it back down on the small table beside the bed. "John, remind me - when did you get this?"

He smiled at her and placed a hand over hers. "My first trip to the Citadel after seeing you on Freedom's Progress. Conveniently, the Citadel had a shop that sold model ships. When I saw that they not only had a quarian ship, but the actual Rayya, I couldn't get a credit chit out fast enough." She saw him blush a little bit. "You were…on my mind constantly, Tali, even then. I, uh…I guess I figured it would be nice to keep a reminder of you around, until I could get the real deal back on board."

"Keelah, you'd had it for that long? I only remember it from…you know, after the dreadnought."

Half-smirk time.

Bosh'tet.

"Yeah. You don't remember it from before?" She slowly shook her head. He shrugged, a bit surprised by the revelation. "Well maybe you just had other things on your mind besides my model ships." She rolled her eyes at him. "And, I kept it in the back near the wall. You never really went back there all that much during that mission." Shepard looked down momentarily, as if embarrassed by his admission. "I kept it back there, uh, because I didn't want it to remind you of…um…unpleasant memories. I wanted you to feel like the cabin was a free area for you, to help you unwind." Indeed, she had always gravitated toward the main area of the cabin during that time, feeling like she would have been intruding if she stuck her nose elsewhere. He spoke once more, to make his point clear. "Eventually, I wanted it to feel like 'home'."

Home. Right where I'd thought it was. Ancestors, do I love him.

Not for the first nor last time, she marveled at his thoughtfulness and the depth of his love for her. "John, thank you for always thinking of me." She had said this softly, her gratitude more than evident.

He smiled at her and gently squeezed her shoulder. She placed her hand on top of his. "Tali, you've always made it easy to."

"Well, I do try," she said to him sweetly, her smile was evident and her voice full of appreciation for not only him, but for the outrageous set of circumstances that had brought them together like this. She touched her visor to his forehead. As much as she would've wanted, there would be no open air contact tonight, unfortunately. Tali had been a bit too liberal with the removal of her mask recently, and was suffering a low-grade fever as a result. And she couldn't jeopardize the mission by subjecting herself to more possible illness.

The quarian kiss would have to suffice.

After a moment of reflection she added: "And…thank you for coming back for me on Haestrom. I know I've talked about it before, but I can't think of what would have been worse than if we lost each other after we had just found each other again."

Closing his eyes to focus on the feel of her body, he pulled her closer to him. He snaked his arm around her lower back before running his fingers down her spine, causing an involuntary shiver. "Yeah, Tal. Thanks for staying alive."

She attempted to back away, but could not escape John's strong grasp. Instead, she narrowed her eyes at him playfully. "Well, unlike some people, I don't think I've got more than one life to just toss away at some stupid Geth on some stupid planet looking for some stupid data! So believe it or not, I was actually trying to stay alive."

Shepard pouted his lip in mock sadness. "Tali, are you implying that I, on occasion, have been known to rush headlong into dangerous situations without thought for my own safety or well-being?"

This time, she did actually escape his embrace. She scoffed. "The thought had crossed my mind, yes. As well as Garrus's, and Liara's, and Ashley's, and even Grunt said something like -"

He was shocked now. "Holy shit, Tali. Grunt? Was I really that bad?"

"Remember Leviathan? Keelah, you scared me so much!" She worked her voice in a clear attempt to mock her saera. 'I'm Commander Shepard. I think I'll just dive into the ocean on this uncharted planet looking for a reaper-killer in this giant mechanical suit.' She was smiling now, and he laughed at the jibe.

"Fuck…it is true," he said in actual wonder with wide eyes. "I was kinda reckless, huh?" He draped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her in for another hug.

She laughed again. "Kinda? Ancestors, John. You were insane." She placed her hands on his chest, resting her head between them. "But, um…that's part of why I love you."

"You mean it wasn't my dancing? Or my huge, hilarious jokes?"

"Mmmm, no John. They are nice - well, the jokes anyway - but…it's how much you're willing to do to help others, how you always give people a chance, how you gave me a chance."

He chuckled lightly. "Well, it was easy giving you a chance. You gave me evidence to take down Saren."

"Was that all?"

"Well, I kept you around for entirely different reasons."

"Which are…?"

"Tali," he started with a clear intent in his voice as his eyes roamed down to her posterior, "have you seen your -"

She slapped his chest before he could finish. "Bosh'tet. I'm…serious. I just want to hear you say it. Please?"

He thought about this for a moment. Indeed, how does one phrase into a coherent train of thought the exact reasons why anyone loves another? And as completely as he loved Tali? He wasn't sure, but there was only way to find out. "Well, for starters, you're so earnest about what you care about. You've been that way for as long as I've known you. At first, it was about destroying the Geth to help your people. Then, it became helping the aliens that you were stuck with on the old Normandy, and its bosh'tet of a captain." She laughed a little at his self-deprecation and the fact that he could pronounce the Khelish word perfectly now. "Especially its captain." They both remembered that first night that they spent just talking - really talking - after he had been guilt-ridden with the outcome of the mission to retrieve committee chairman Burns from the group of biotics. "Then…afterward…despite everything that had happened when I…" Tali wrapped her lithe arms around his neck, leaning in to whisper that it was okay. She knew that he was trying his best to tread carefully around the two years during which he was gone from her. She wanted him to know that it really was okay. They had each other here, now. Content that he understood, she allowed him to continue. "When I was gone, you made it a point to step up and lead, and when we met again, you led with the same patience and compassion that you had always shown. And yet, you were now far more assertive, and you commanded respect and exuded authority - that idiot Prazza notwithstanding. In short, Miss vas Normandy, you had grown up." He paused, placing a kiss on the top of her realk. "And the whole time we were together on the SR-2, you proved time and again that not only had you 'grown up', but that the same enthusiasm you had on your pilgrimage was still there. And," he held her at arm's length to look directly at her with the broad smile he now wore, "holy hell, were you sassy. You gave everyone shit, and you weren't afraid to back it up, usually with a shotgun." He regarded her then with a softer smile. "And you showed me patience, you showed me kindness. You showed me understanding. You showed me love, Tali'Zorah." His lips morphed into that tantalizing half-smirk. "And, for the record, I knew that you were beautiful long before that night before we hit the Collectors. You showed me your face, and simply had your beauty confirmed."

Tali pulled herself closer to him, somehow managing to reduce even further the space between them while grinding her hips against him. Keelah, his scent was intoxicating. "How did you know?" She asked, voice barely above a whisper.

He swallowed back a low grunt from her movements. "Because I could have never found you - such a wonderful and perfect woman - to be anything otherwise."

She huffed a little. Backing away from him but still connected by their clasped hands, she shook her head with a knowing smile. "John, once we're out of here, you are going to get it."

He gave her his own smirk before pulling a hand to his lips to give it a soft kiss. "Oh? What exactly am I going to get, Miss vas Normandy?"

She let go of his hands with some force before turning around toward the forgotten container on the floor. She looked back over a shoulder at him. "Oh, I think you know the answer to that already, my captain." She bent down - slowly and deliberately in front of him - picking up the container and placing it on the bed. John sniffed a short chuckle. "So, do you mind if I take a look? It'll be nice to remember some of these."

"You're sure you're not hungry?"

"Keelah, no. Garrus made us go to one of the restaurants that had reopened in the city. I couldn't believe that they had already begun to open up again. What was it called? 'Old-E World Palaven', I think. They served a bunch of what Garrus called 'classic dishes'."

He smirked at her as he cut up his chicken. "'Old-E'? I'm confused. How was it spelled?"

She shrugged. "O-L-D-E. Why?"

He nodded in understanding. "It's pronounced 'old' just like the normal version."

She cocked her head in confusion. "So why would it…?"

He laughed and gestured with his hands. "Don't ask. They're using an outdated spelling of the word. I think it's supposed to be a play on London's long history. The language I speak - English - has gone through a few versions. A version from about five centuries ago had 'old' spelled that way."

"Keelah, I thought the translator was broken." She pointed at him like he'd invented the damn thing. "You know I've been practicing so I won't need the translator? Just when I think I start to figure your silly language out." She shook her head. "Khelish is weird enough as it is."

"Speaking of which, when are you teaching me Khelish?" She did not catch on to just how serious he was being.

"Well John, I know you've been busy, with trying to kill Reapers and win a particular quarian girl a homeworld, but I thought that maybe…once things calm down on Rannoch…you wouldn't mind learning?"

"Tali, I'm hoping that at some point I won't need the omnitool or even a translator. I want to hear you in your language. I want to speak to you the way a quarian would." He lowered his eyes, maybe in embarrassment. "I wanted to be able to…communicate with you the way your saera should."

There was silence; Tali was dumbstruck. For all this talk of language, words escaped her; English, Khelish, or otherwise.

"John, I…I don't know how to express what you…how you make me feel. Damn it, I know I've explained what saera means, but sometimes you make me feel like you understand it better than I do."

For a moment - a long moment, even - they simply looked into each other. She studied those eyes, along with his rugged and caring face. As for John? Well he could always get lost in those eyes of hers, and his memory was good enough to see her face right along with them.

Finally, he broke the beautiful silence. "So, saera, are you going to tell me about this day you had?"

She chuckled at the phrasing he used. He always seemed to catch her off-guard like that.

But she did just that; giving him the relatively short version while he ate his meal.

"Well, for starters, you remember the ship that Garrus had?"

He grunted his affirmative between bites.

"Well, it was salarian." She waited for a reaction from Shepard, like it was somehow obvious. He instead looked at her with a blank expression.

"And?"

"Keelah, John. Salarian!" When she still didn't get a valid response she sighed loudly and facepalmed her visor. "Do you know how many recording devices and the amount of spyware Liara found when she and Garrus left Illium?"

Shepard's eyes widened in realization, and he nearly choked on his dinner. "Shit! She found them all, didn't she?"

"Yeah, we did another run through of the ship before I came back here." Shaking his head, he continued eating.

"So anyway…we talked to Primarch Victus again - Garrus said we didn't have to - but it felt wrong not checking with him first." Shepard nodded his agreement as he chewed on an exceptionally rubbery bite of chicken. Tali giggled at his struggles. "Of course it was fine, but he 'appreciated the courtesy'."

John chuckled at the air quoted words before wiping his mouth. "So who was next? Hackett?"

"Mmhmm. I really like him, John."

He smirked. "It wouldn't have anything to do with a recently retired admiral of your acquaintance, would it?"

"Yes, John. That is a very big reason." She gave his hand a meaningful squeeze for emphasis. "But also, he's just easy to work with. We went over the details of this mission, and we were able to narrow down where we could go. It's a ship that was out near the Charon Relay when it…well, when it hit." Once again, Tali had paused at the painful reference, but continued anyway. Best just to keep going to avoid dwelling on it, she supposed.

"So he ordered some cleanup crews to try to make the trip as easy as possible. He couldn't guarantee anything - but I told him not to worry about it. Whatever help he could give us was more than enough."

"And what about -"

"The Board? That was a quick one. Garrus was griping about being hungry, so I simply told them the basics: Me, Garrus and Liara would take his ship to the designated Geth ship. We have multiple OSDs for data transfer, and when we've finished, we'll take it from there."

Shepard laughed at her explanation. "Well, you certainly didn't waste any time with them, did you?"

"No, John. I did not. I feel like I need a clean room just thinking about them." She shook her head in annoyance. "And then we got some food because Garrus was hungry." She pointed at John for emphasis. "You know, for a deadly sharpshooter, he sure does complain a lot."

He shrugged. "Well, we all need to eat. What do you want him to do?"

"Not complain so much…" she grumbled in reply.

After John thanked the hospital aide that took his empty tray, he asked about Garrus and Liara.

"They're staying at the base tonight. I'll meet them there tomorrow, then we'll take the Malinor to…" She trailed off, frowning and clearly upset as realization hit her. Why was her throat dry now?

"Tali, what's wrong?" He saw that her hands were trembling and her head was bowed. He grabbed her hands in his. "Tal? Talk to me."

She opened and closed her mouth more than once, to Shepard, she would have looked quite a bit like a fish out of water, simply trying to breathe. She wasn't sure where to begin. It was so stupid. "I-I…um…I'm leaving you tomorrow. I…think I just realized it. And I'm nervous…and I…Ancestors…John..why am I like this?" She was on the verge of tears as she looked away from him. He felt like she was ashamed of herself. She was.

"Hey, Tali," he started as he pulled her hands toward his chest, forcing her to look at him. When he continued, his voice was gentle. "It's okay. We've been through a lot, and we've been joined at the hip for almost a month now, after everything that's happened, I think it's only natural that there's some trepidation. Hell, I feel it too." She met his eyes again. He laughed a little; he could tell she wasn't quite convinced. "Oh, you don't think the 'great' Commander Shepard gets afraid? When it comes to you?"

"It's 'Admiral Shepard' now, you know. You'd better get used to it." She giggled lightly.

He smiled back at her. "Yes, yes it is. 'Retired', no less. But, Tali, I'm serious. I'm worried too. There's no reason for it, but it's there just the same. Ever since I woke up on the Citadel and I saw you…I've never wanted to be away from you. I've never been so certain of anything in my life, Tali. So when you talk about being concerned, or worried," the fierceness in his eyes took her breath away, "believe me, I know exactly what you mean." He looked down at the floor. "I've left you enough for one lifetime - more than one lifetime, Tali." He murmured this to her, as if embarrassed that he had ever left her - for whatever reason. She squeezed his hands again, this time rubbing her thumbs on the backs of his hands. After a moment, he shook his head forcefully, dismissively. "But hey, listen. It's going to be fine. You're going to be fine. And no, I don't want you to go, but the sooner you can get the info that the Board needs, the sooner we can go straight to Rannoch, okay? Besides, if there were two other people I'd want watching your back, it's Liara and Garrus."

Almost immediately, she felt better. Her jittery nerves had calmed down just a bit, and his words filled her with the confidence that she had needed so much.

As for John? Well he would be strong for her, because she needed him to be.

They both needed him to be.

"John, if only you knew how you make me feel."

With another patented half-smirk, he leaned in and lightly tapped his forehead to her visor. He did not pull away, leaving his forehead resting against her. "I know exactly how I make you feel. You do the same for me, my love."

They remained that way for some time, with Tali stroking his hair as he ran his hand across her back.