[Chapter 4.5: A Long Night]

Ah, thoughts.

A troublesome thing, are they not?

To stay alone with them for a while invites madness and despair, or in Ainz's case, irritation.

The skeletal mage sat on an ebony throne in front of the burning crater of his own creation. He could have concerned himself with other matters, such as the reaction of the other factions to his actions, but the ball was already out of his court, with undead messengers being sent out.

Instead, his mind lingered on the events of the night. There were a great deal of questions that wandered throughout his cranium.

Ainz, particularly now with his skeletal body, wouldn't call himself righteous. Far from it, he was in fact what many would consider evil. He was selfish, used underhanded means, and didn't shy away from conflict if it benefited him.

Though there were several lines even he wouldn't cross. Things like slavery and rape evoked disgust and anger within the Overlord, only to simmer out. Perhaps this is where his current irritation came from?

But he had dealt with the cultist in an appropriate manner. The man was dead and used as materials; there were few fates more cruel than that. And yet Ainz sat there, and sat a bit, with the same feeling lingering.

Who was he kidding? He knew exactly why he was in such a state, his anger turned into this unpleasant irritation thanks to his limiter. Of course, as most things in this world appeared to, it concerned a silver-haired half-elf.

However, this time it wasn't the one with power of apocalyptic proportions. No, this time it was the candidate that Ainz supported that was on his mind.

Ainz, skeletal as he was, should have been indifferent to the living, or perhaps even hostile. Undead, after all, were monsters. But within this particular Overlord dwelt a man, one who would have been called simple and unremarkable in the past.

Satoru Suzuki was… a bit awkward, cringey, and bland, like most of the corporate drones in the 22nd century. Still, he was on the fringe. His only friends were in YGGDRASIL, and he could hardly boast about a wide range of social accomplishments. For all intents and purposes, he had been an outcast.

Now, in this world, it may have ended up the same. Now, rather than being unremarkable, he was too much so. His appearance was frightening, forcing many of the hearts of those that looked upon him to skip a beat.

He could have, and most likely would have, ended up alone once more. Undead appeared to be rare, and he had not heard even a word of intelligent undead such as himself.

What could he have done in this place alone? Set up shop somewhere in a forest and research his transportation? Explore and hope that his identity wasn't revealed?

There were any number of routes he could have gone down, but in very few of them, if any, could he envision himself revealing his appearance like he did now. Of course, the critical variable was none other than Emilia.

Ainz thought of the girl that he was trying to put on the throne. At first she was like any other person he could've met. She was honest and kind, like a million other people.

But…

He thought back to the time she saw his true appearance, in that moonlit corridor. If it were anyone else, Ainz was sure he would have had to erase their memory, kill them, or otherwise remove them from the picture.

Alas, it hadn't been anyone else. Perhaps that was the moment that he had seen the girl for who she really was? For the accursed outcast that fate had made her?

Fate was indeed cruel, much like Ainz's own experience as a heteromorph in YGGDRASIL. Maybe his memory of when he was hunted was what compelled him to help her? That, and the fact that it happened to align with his own goals of course.

It seemed like a fun quest, like helping out a new player even. And yet he still didn't know what to make of her. Was she simply a means to an end, an acquaintance who had useful connections? However, were that to be the case, why would he be bothered by this night's events?

She was alive and healed, thus leaving Ainz's goals unimpeded. Even if she died, he could have always just resurrected her. An acquaintance was a tool, and Ainz was not the type to get mad over such a thing being scratched.

But his anger-turned-irritation remained.

Evidently, the girl had made her mark on Ainz. As he thought about his stay in this world, he had to admit, he enjoyed the silver half-elf's presence. She may have even been… a friend?

No…

Such a thing could not be.

To compare her to the people alongside whom he had slayed Gods? No, such a thing could not be done. But… if she indeed was like a new player, who's to say there wasn't potential there?

"I fucked up."

That was the conclusion he had come to, and it certainly was an apt one. Not only did he fail in his guard duties, but he had shrugged off her pain after the cultist's action.

Maybe it was his undead nature that was to blame, where mental distress from things such as rape was a foreign concept, but Emilia was still flesh and blood.

And, if she indeed was one day to become a friend to the Overlord, that meant he had royally fucked up.

"I should check in on her." he decided, teleporting to the mansion…

ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

Emilia appeared next to her bed after invoking the ring's power, quickly changed into some fresh clothes, and collapsed soon after. Her mind quickly became clouded by the shroud of sleep and drifted away.

But what only felt like seconds later, she woke up. The place where she had lay was wet with tears that still kept streaming down her face. She sat up, desperately trying to wipe away the tears.

"I have to be strong…" she muttered.

No light reached her room, the darkness being a comfortable blanket. Here nothing could reach her. She was safe. Still, as a royal candidate, she had to maintain appearances, she always had to.

After all, being a burden was her biggest nightmare. Keep a smile up, appear strong! These were the things she knew. But…

She wrapped her arms around herself and laid back down on the bed, trying to stifle the sobs that were threatening to fill the deafening silence of the room.

Over and over, the same scene from the night played out, the searing pain of her fingers being cut off ever present. Whenever she closed her eyes, she saw Niklas' face. Smug, lustful, disgusting.

It was all so overwhelming.

She tried to cover herself with a blanket, but that didn't help. She rocked from side to side, trying to not cry. Who knows, maybe her cries would have awoken Ram or Roswaal? She couldn't allow that to happen; she had to remain strong.

And yet more and more sobs escaped her throat. She put her face into her pillow, trying to muffle the sound. Tears met fabric and fatigue was replaced with anger, fear, and sorrow.

This accursed flesh that had brought her so much pain only did so again. Oh how she wished to gouge her eyes out, set her hair aflame, and to be rid of this burden that knew nought but suffering.

She cursed the being that seemed to be the source of all curses in the world, she cursed the Witch Cult, and she cursed herself.

If only she had been stronger, if only she had been wiser, if only she didn't look like this! All the horrible things she had suffered, the isolation, the hatred, none of these would have existed if not for this body!

Ainz wouldn't have had to use any of those precious items, and she would have been fine on her own. That… thing that brought her to the mansion.

It was gone, dead by Ainz's hand no less, but the memory remained. If only she could have made this night disappear, to have never happened.

She rolled onto her back, her teary eyes staring at the ceiling and her throat becoming hoarse. So many what ifs ran through her mind.

What if she would have just called Ainz earlier?

What if Ainz was disappointed?

What if… Ainz left?

He certainly hadn't given off such an impression, but she could hardly read the mighty mage's mind. He had given her a guard and simply moved on. Was the undead she had been given a goodbye gift? Did he now see her as unworthy of his service?

Anxiety arose within her like a great wave, her heart beating faster, and her tears flowing freely. All the wretched curses she knew left her mouth in hushed tones as she lamented her fate.

Shame at her own failure, at the burden that she was, welled up within her. Why did things have to turn out like this? Why did this haunting curse always have to come after her?

Why did they always leave her!?

Had Ainz decided that she was only a cheap imitation of the reviled Witch of Envy? After all, why would he decide to deal with her if the Witch was simply better than her?

He said he wouldn't leave her after meeting the Witch, but what if that was just a lie?

To be embraced by the God of Sleep and have all these questions disappear! To close her eyes and to be whisked away to a restful place!

And yet, whenever she tried to go to the realm of sleep, it only ended with visions of the worst to come. She shook her head in order to dispel the visions, to wipe away the view of Ainz turning his back on her and leaving her to rot.

But the overwhelming darkness of her room brought little comfort.

"S-Stop…" she mumbled, hoping that her own disquieted mind would obey her.

She closed her eyes once again, putting the bed sheet over herself, hoping to isolate herself from the outside world. However, within the confines of her imagination lurked only more despair, with the Witch appearing whenever her eyes were shut, taunting her, while Ainz stood by the living calamity's side.

"Stop!" she called out, her desperate plea reverberating throughout the room. She threw the covers away, burying her head in her hands, "Please stop…" she begged.

Suddenly, someone knocked on her door and pushed it slightly ajar. "Emilia?" came the regal voice of her knight. His skeletal face, illuminated by a streak of moonlight, peaked into her room. "Are you… alright?" Ainz asked, his vision of the crying girl unimpeded by the dark.

Emilia quickly tried to wipe away her tears and put on a brave smile as she had done so many times before. "Y-yes! Do y-you need anything?" she asked, her voice quivering.

Ainz sighed, entering the room and closing the door behind himself. "[Magical Light]." he said, pointing at the centre of the room. A small, blue flame emerged from his finger tip and took its place near the ceiling, illuminating the room.

He sat down on Emilia's bed and took out a handkerchief, awkwardly wiping away the girl's remaining tears. She looked at Ainz, her eyes red from crying, and the Overlord simply continued wiping her face. After a few seconds he appeared to be satisfied with the result, putting the cloth back from where it came.

"There's no need to lie." he said, his voice level and dignified, "And did you really think you could trick me like that?"

Emilia looked away and mumbled a quiet "Sorry."

The Overlord looked at the pitiful mess of a girl that now sat in front of him. Her hair was still dishevelled, she was still dirty, and her face had marks from her tears flowing beforehand.

He shook his head and sighed, "I should be the one to apologise." he began, "I put dealing with all the Royal Selection business ahead of you. As your knight, I should have prioritised your wellbeing."

"B-but I'm fine!" she said, gesturing towards herself, "I-I'm alright!"

Ainz looked at her for a few seconds and the mask of the girl quickly slipped, her brave smile disappearing.

"I know you aren't, but I should've noticed it faster. Unfortunately, I am what I am." Ainz said, pointing to his skeletal face.

"No… You d-did the right thing. I wouldn't want to be a b-burden." she said, still facing away from Ainz.

"Emilia, look at me." Ainz said, and after a few seconds the girl reluctantly did as she was told, "You aren't a burden." continued the undead mage. "I've seen what a burden is, and you certainly aren't one." he said, remembering the various escort missions that haunted his past.

The girl nodded, averting her gaze soon after. Were the words of the mage in front of her simple consolation or the truth?

Ainz, seeing how hesitant she was to believe him, sighed. He had no experience in reassuring people like this, and so his nonexistent tongue struggled to find the appropriate words.

Silence reigned over the room, both of them not knowing what to say. It would have been generous to call the situation awkward, and it continued for several minutes.

Eventually, after what felt like eternity, Emilia spoke up, "Ainz, am I… useless?"

Ainz turned to look at her, tilting his head quizzically. It was a simple question with an even simpler answer. "No." he answered, letting his pragmatic, undead nature take the spotlight for the moment.

"But you have all these plans and… And I never feel like I contribute anything. Wouldn't it just be easier for you to… leave me?" she asked, hoping to get the painstaking goodbye over with. It seemed inevitable at this point; she was only holding him back!

The Overlord looked at the girl for a few seconds, not fully comprehending what she had said. Even when only taking into account her usefulness, there really was no reason for him to leave. Was she really so scared?

'I knew all that 'always having a plan' thing would bite me in the ass eventually.' he thought, 'Well, I'm in too deep.'

"Emilia, listen to me." he began, "My plans are complex, and I assure you that you are playing your part. Besides, if I were to spell everything out, it wouldn't be any fun, right? All I can say is, trust me."

It was a flimsy shield, banking on the fact that she would in fact trust him, but it was the best he had.

The half-elven girl seemed to think his words over for a minute, deciding whether they were only a ruse by Ainz or the truth. "Okay…" she mumbled, "I'll trust you." she said, a bit more confidence now within her voice.

With Emilia's insecurities quelled, at least for the moment, Ainz could return to the question he asked initially, "So, are you really alright?" She looked away for a second and didn't answer, and Ainz shook his head, "I suppose that was a stupid question to ask." he mumbled.

He sighed once more, at a loss as to what to do. Helping with things like this was always Buku's or Yamaiko's thing; he, meanwhile, typically sat on the sidelines.

What could he say? That he could erase her memories of this night? Now that would make him sound like the heartless undead he resembled. Thankfully, before any more ideas like that could spring to life in his mind, Emilia spoke up once more.

"Do you think I can be as strong as you one day?" she asked, looking up at the Overlord.

Ainz put a hand to his chin, uttering a dignified "Hmm." He didn't know the powers of this world inside out, but to compete with him? The chances were slim, and he didn't want to give the girl any false hope.

"Probably not." he said, and Emilia's expression grew darker, prompting him to ask, "But why do you ask?"

The girl took a deep breath and said, "I rely too much on you. And on Puck. And Roswaal. I was left alone for just a few hours and…"

Ainz didn't force her to continue, simply nodding and saying, "I understand, but it's fine to rely on others, you know? I did it a lot back in my day."

"Yes, but you can stand on your own, unlike me…" she mumbled, "The moment I'm alone I'm useless. Isn't that why you gave me that guard?" If he had had the appropriate physiology, he would have gulped. She had him here, and she took his silence as confirmation, "See? I want to actually be useful! To be able to do things by myself!" she said, her eyes full of determination

Ainz chuckled lightly. 'Yea, I remember that phase as well.' Right after Touch Me had saved him, he too sought power. Of course, for him it was power that meshed with his aesthetic, but it was power nonetheless. To think that even here, in a different world, he would meet someone who would go through such a similar thing.

He reached out and patted the girl's head, "You remind me of myself sometimes. Fine, fine, we'll get you power, perhaps not like mine, but I'll see what I can do. But you'll actually have to sleep in order to train properly with Wilhelm tomorrow and take the first few steps."

The flame in the room flickered away, and darkness established the room as its domain. Emilia reluctantly lied down, following the Overlord's advice. But, as Ainz stood up and got ready to leave, she spoke up, "Ainz, can you maybe… stay for the night? I… I can't sleep."

Ainz looked back at the girl; the thought of using a spell to put her to sleep briefly ran through his mind but was quickly dismissed. "Fine." he said, "But only until sunrise. After that there are things to be done."

He created a chair for himself near her bed and sat down. It took only a few minutes for the girl to fall asleep, with minimal tossing and turning. If all it took for her to rest better was for him to sit here, then that was hardly a problem.

"How much of this did you see?" Ainz asked the silent room, while Emilia slept.

"Everything, master." came the disembodied voice.

"Forget it then, and go wait outside."

Ainz sat there once more, now not observed by the Eternal Death, and turned to his thoughts once more. 'Is this what Touch Me felt like helping me?' he asked himself, remembering the stalwart paladin. Well, if Emilia was really as similar to Ainz back in the day as it appeared, he was in for quite the journey…

(AN from Edgy: Hello! I've returned for a quick bite of Beyond Sin! Anyway, I'm gonna go write another chapter of Supreme Fear, and then back to this we go for a while! Also, give [Ashes of War] by AhrimanSadBoi a read, it's pretty damn good! As always, more to come and I hope you've enjoyed the story so far!)

(AN from Aterro: Well, greetings dear readers, I hope you liked this intermission chapter of our second volume of Sin. I hope you pick up on the character development Ainz is going through.)

Pa tr e on DOT com / EdgyTheWriter