"Shala, what is this about?"

Shala had led Tali to a small vehicle and had driven out to a paved area past the far side of the landing zone, letting out precious little about what was going on. Tali, of course, had said practically nothing as she still stewed in her pot of anger. Occasionally she glare over at Shala as she drove, childishly hoping that her looks of contempt would add to the guilt that Tali secretly hoped that Shala felt. If they were effective, Shala gave no indication. As they exited and walked toward wherever it was they were going, Tali couldn't help but notice the sunlight that was glinting at various angles off of what appeared to be…vessels (yes, Tali was sure that's what they were now) docked at a planetside shipyard. Numerous vessels, from small shuttles to larger ships that were nearly two-thirds the size of the Normandy, were in various states of repair (and disrepair, the engineer noted). Some of these looked to Tali to actually be quarian in design, as if in the time since their return to Rannoch, they'd managed to actually refit or completely overhaul some of the smaller vessels of the fleet. Mechanics and other workers milled about the area, utterly ignoring the presence of 40% of the Admiralty Board that was walking among them. She never received an answer to the question.

Entranced and genuinely excited by the sight, Tali forgot her anger for a moment. "Keelah! You've been busy here. Look at all this!"

Shala'Raan led her around to a second row containing some relatively larger vessels, and to Tali, they looked like they were almost completely refitted. They stopped in front of (based on the overall design) what appeared to have once been an asari vessel. Its sleek curves and "windswept" appearance gave away its origins. For a few moments, both simply looked at the vessel.

"Why are they here? On the planet? Why not work on these, you know, up there?" Tali actually pointed overhead.

Shala cleared her throat. "Well, we found it was easier to do the work - at least for these smaller ships - planetside. Rannoch not only has gravity, but a breathable atmosphere. Now, obviously, the larger vessels remain in space. But these? We can work on them here, and when they're ready for service again, they can leave from the base." She had shrugged as she said this last sentence.

After a few moments during which Tali simply gazed at the various vessels that surrounded them, Shala broke the silence. "So, what do you think?"

Tali's head spun around as if on a swivel. "Think? Think about what?"

The venom had apparently not been far from the surface.

Shaking it off, Shala pushed on. "About this ship. Is she a good one? I try to check in on the reports of our ship building and refit programs, but I am not as diligent these days as I'd like to be."

Tali rolled her eyes, but decided to humor her anyway. She could never say "no" when there were ships involved. "Well…" the young woman began as she walked slowly and studiously around the vessel. It was certainly larger than any shuttle, easily more than five times the size of an Alliance Kodiak, but about half as big as an Alliance frigate. "How many crew members does this thing hold? Five to ten?" They were questions asked of nobody. "She's built well - which isn't a surprise. The rear exhaust ports are new, as is most of the - keelah, is that Silaris armor?" Shala couldn't help but chuckle lightly as Tali continued to wander around the ship, neck craned as she tried to observe every detail. Maybe this would go more smoothly than she'd initially feared? Eventually, the engineer stopped near the underside of the neck. "The weapons are…not the original, but they are recent. The M-550X cannons, I think. They were fitted onto ships starting in '82." Absent-mindedly, she reached up toward the sensor array. There was no way she could actually touch it, of course. "And the sensors. These are very recent. They're actually a human design. These are EC-47A's. They only came out in '85, and I know Steve actually said that the Normandy used those right up until before the war. When did we get access to these?" Again, it was a rhetorical question that she asked of herself.

Shala wasn't sure who "Steve" was - presumably one of the human crewmembers - she was just happy that Tali was talking to her.

Tali stopped suddenly, her shoulders tightened with her eyes wide. "Why…why are you showing me this?"

I swear to the Ancestors, if this is some kind of stupid ploy because they don't want to lose their precious admiral, I'll…well I don't know what I'd do. A low growl came from her throat. But it won't be pretty.

Shala had prepared a broad smile and a joyful tone for what she was going to tell her, but Tali's voice and posture suggested that she was close to anger. There was trepidation found there; it was not what she had hoped for. Based on how their meeting had ended, she supposed that she shouldn't be surprised. Now how to proceed? "Tali, I…this is an…apology of sorts. That's why I brought you here. I - well, we - decided that it was long past time for you to have a ship of your own." Before Tali could try to object, Shala put her hands on her shoulders before continuing. "Tali, you are a true hero. You are an admiral, and we have not treated you as such." She paused, with a frown. "I include myself in that number, dear."

Pulling from Raan's grasp, Tali's eyes narrowed in immediate apprehension, bolstered by a flash of hot anger. "You want me to stay on the Board, don't you. That's what this is, isn't it? That's why you -"

Trying to explain away her misgivings, she was cut short. "What? Tali, I -"

"You knew that you - all of you - had put me on this Board for one reason, and at every turn I've felt…like I didn't belong. Like an outsider!" She pointed accusingly at Shala, who was seemingly a galaxy away from being "Auntie Raan". "You all used my father - my father, you bosh'tets! - to put me on this damn board in the first place! And the…and then when I tried to make a difference, you never once stuck up for me to the others." The older woman visibly winced at the emphasis placed on the accusatory "you". "You never once…agreed with me! Zaal was my only supporter when it mattered. Zaal'Koris, Raan! Do you know what that felt like? To not even get support from you? Not even once?" She was bellowing now. If anyone else heard her, she didn't rightly give a shit. "And this is how you…how you all, what? Try to make it okay? Try to appease me for all of this?" The tears that ran down her face were those of unbridled anger. It was a pent-up rage that had been a year in the making. She'd only given them a taste before; Shala was privy to the full meal.

They had kept her from John (an asinine way of seeing things, but Tali was in a mood for "asinine" right now), and for what? Their stupid fucking war?

Conveniently, she slid her thoughts past her saera's house arrest that she could have done nothing about anyway. Right now, it didn't matter.

Keelah.

Shepard had warned her that this might happen, but Ancestors, Shala was not prepared for her anger, her bitterness about it all. And it sure looked like Tali was going to take it out on her.

When it seemed that Tali's rage had reached a pause, Shala cautiously stepped towards her only remaining link to her best friend, Maru. How had she let it get this bad? She was an admiral, yes, but this? This felt personal. How had she been so unaware? She had to try to recover this - this relationship that was teetering on the brink of disintegration. She spoke in a soft, remorseful tone. "Tali, please, hear me." The younger admiral's face turned away in defiance, but she did not leave. "I am so sorry for how this - your time on the Board - has gone. It was…you were appointed for the wrong reasons, we both know that. And I, whether I meant to or not, made you feel inadequate, inferior." She recalled how she had told Tali that she had argued against her appointment in the first place, and this was one of her primary fears behind it. "For that I am sorry. But please, listen to me - believe me - when I tell you that this was not some 'ploy' to appease you." She took another step toward her. "Please believe me when I say that you are the best of us. And just know that," she stepped again, and now she was close enough to reach for Tali's hand, which was now given to her freely, "I am so proud of you, Tali. And I know that your mother would be, and even Rael." The young admiral stiffened slightly at her father's mention. "So, please, can you find it in yourself to forgive me?"

"Shala," it was almost a whisper, "I so want to resign. I just want to be done with it. I'm so tired, Auntie. And I want to…just be happy with John. Haven't I earned that?" She paused. "Besides, what use am I now anyway? It's not like there are any Geth that need my expertise, and we both know that, aside from my name, that was the main reason why I was appointed in the first place."

It was said plainly, without the emotion that either of them would have expected. It shocked Tali to hear it come from her own lips.

Shala'Raan sighed bitterly. This was going to be more difficult than she'd hoped.

"I know you do, Tali. Keelah, I do not blame you. But…"

The younger woman gave her a sidelong, accusatory look. Her eyes narrowed threateningly. "But?" Her response was a growl.

"I do not think that that is possible right now," she stated with a voice barely above a whisper.

Tali released her hands from Shala's, throwing them down away from her. Shala nearly yelped from the surprise - and from the unexpected pain.

"And why not?" She was again pointing at her angrily. "Because there's more I can give to the fleet? Because our people need the 'great' Tali'Zorah?" The other admiral was visibly taken aback by phrasing that was so drenched with anger. "Ancestors, Shala! What more is there? What could I even do? What else do I have to…do I have…"

To lose John again? She'd lost him once already and had come perilously close to doing so a second time.

But Tali felt her rekindled anger losing steam, as it gave way to a desperate sadness. "I just want…" Her throat constricted again. "I just want to be with him, Shala. Is it too much to ask?"

Uncertainly, and feeling rather idiotic as a result, Shala'Raan dumbly stood and watched through tears of her own as her (she dared use the word?) Tali shook in a fit of angry desperation. After a moment, she dropped the pretense of "Admiral Raan" and wrapped Tali in a hug, pulling her in tightly. Tentatively at first, then with more conviction, Tali wrapped her arms around the older woman, still shaking.

"I know this is not what you wanted, dear." Shala felt revulsion at what she was forcing Tali into. Waiting until she was on the homeworld, finally home with her bondmate, just to tell her "no", knowing that Tali had likely wanted no part of the admiralty any longer. She was so ashamed, and secretly asked for forgiveness from Maru. "And of course you've earned it. You deserve to have time with him - keelah, you both do. But with the way things are, and with this Array…there's just no way it can be done. Too many people believe in us, we must show them unity. We can not afford such a change right now." Those last words - right now - caused Tali to look at her in…expectation? "But," there was a smile evident as she spoke, "I did have something to offer you, if you'll listen."

Tali tensed again, sensing another ploy. "I swear, Shala, if this is -"

She shook her head. She had planned on waiting to get the approval of the other admirals for this, but it could not wait. If it did, they were all going to lose Tali completely. As it was, they were dangerously close to doing so already. She'd worry about them later. "It is not whatever you think it is going to be." She held Tali at arm's length. "Do you see all of this, Tali? Do you remember how I said that I could not keep track of it all?" She gestured toward the ships arrayed around them. Tali gave her a soft nod. "What would you say if I asked you to help us by overseeing this? Nothing but refitting, upgrading, and redesigning our own ships. That's all I would ask of you. You would be an admiral in name only, (did she hear Tali laugh?) other than that? Nothing. It's just this. You stay planetside with your saera, and -"

"What did you say?"

Shala smirked. She'd said more than she'd meant to. But maybe this would be the opening she needed, maybe Tali would let her anger go for just a moment. "Oh, I think you heard me just fine."

"You said…wait - you knew?"

Of course Tali had figured that Raan knew about them being together, but to hear her use their term - the strictly insular quarian term - shook her.

Shala finally felt confident enough to let out a small laugh. "How could I not? You were so obvious, dear."

Tali huffed in embarrassed frustration - laughing a little anyway.

"Speaking of 'obvious', I assume you said 'yes' to him?" She watched as Tali's eyes widened even further in surprise. "You thought I wouldn't have known about that, either?"

"Of course I said 'yes' to him! But…it did make me wonder if there was more to it." Tali tilted her head as she let slip her one clue. "He mentioned that he did not have a pal'tec vis surden. Now call me 'crazy', but I find it hard to believe that my saera - no matter how much research he did - could have come across mention of that all on his own."

The first thing that Shala noticed was the way that the word "saera" had rolled off of Tali's tongue. She thought she could hear the love, the unrivaled contentment, in her voice. Passing beyond that, she mused over Shepard mentioning a pal'tec vis surden to her. Relieved, she was confident that she could move on without asking just what kind of ceremony they wanted to have. It seemed fairly obvious that he was completely on board with their customs. "Yes, well…he might have gotten some inside information. From someone who loves you very much."

Frowning at the thought of her earlier outbursts, Tali took in a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Shala," she murmured, "for being so angry with you. With all of you. And I took it out on -"

"There is no need. You were right to have been angry. I did not give you much of a choice. For that I am truly sorry. And I promise that you will have time with him." She cleared her throat. "Now Tali'Zorah, about you and Shepard. I have an idea." Tali eyed her quizzically. "You know that we require 'testing' to ensure that a bonding is indeed a legitimate one, to avoid any actions that might occur under duress. I have spoken with Zaal'Koris already, and he has agreed to do your testing."

Her eyes widened as she interrupted Shala. "You already had this planned out?"

A light chuckle was her response. "Why of course I did. I knew long before you even left for your mission. That you were unaware simply makes me respect your bondmate more." Tali looked like she was going to respond - maybe with a comical "bosh'tet", but Shala continued before she could. "I will, of course, test Shepard. Although like I said to Zaal, it is very much unnecessary. But -"

"But we need to do this in our traditional way."

"Exactly. The only thing I don't have is someone to actually administer the rite. Since Zaal and I will be your…what would Shepard call them?…'witnesses' I believe might be the human equivalent, we will need to find a quarian who would be recognized as a legal administrator."

Tali thought for a moment. "What about one of the Conclave members? I was talking with Lano -"

It was Shala's turn to be surprised. "Tali, you can't possibly think that Lano'Tiel would ever -"

Tali burst out in laughter. "Auntie, I have already spoken to her. She apologized to me, and to John I assume." Seeing the confused tilt of Raan's head, Tali continued. "I - we - had an 'experience' with her son on the Citadel some time ago. He was a shopkeeper there, and he treated me well. But keelah, did he not like Shepard." She laughed at the memory. "I think he was a little xenophobic, and he might have passed some of that on to Lano."

Ancestors, was she relieved to have been called "Auntie" again. But then Shala's eyes widened once more as the context put the representative's behavior into perspective. "So that is why she asked those questions." Before Tali could even ask what questions she'd meant, she was waved off. "Do you really think that she would administer the Rite?"

She shrugged. "There's only one way to find out."

They began to head back toward the vehicle when Tali had another thought. "Auntie? About that ship…you were serious, right?"

She laughed, she couldn't help it. "Yes, of course, Tali. Did you like it?"

The young and eventually "former" admiral rolled her eyes. "She asks the obsessive engineer if she likes the ship," she paused again, "and the job! Keelah, Auntie!"

"So I take it that your answer is 'yes' to both?"

With her hands on her hips, she faced the woman who had practically raised her and answered in a huff. "While I'm not…thrilled about it, I'll remain an admiral for now while doing this job. But," her voice was a clear warning, "if this is just some ploy, or ruse, then…then it will be over. I will not stay on indefinitely."

Shala simply stood there and said nothing. Tali had spoken a stark, plain truth. Clearly, if it was to be broken, there would be no coming back from this particular promise.

"As for right now, and this ship? Yes. The answer is 'yes'! Now come on, we have a lot to do!"

His pacing was erratic as his footfalls seemed to be mistimed and disjointed. He normally planted his feet in the familiar "heel-toe" pattern, but not now. Right now, even his walking was all over the proverbial map. It seemed to be an apt reflection of his mind.

The end of the meeting with Tali had left him both disappointed and proud of her at the same time. The disappointment was for obvious reasons – she was an admiral and was ready to simply throw away her duty. And for what? For whom?

But the pride? Well, frankly, he knew that it had taken an enormous amount of courage to have said what she had said to them, and with the ferocity of someone whose soul was bound and determined to spend as much of its time as possible with its formerly missing half.

"What had she said? No more Geth…"

It was whispered from his lips, like he was realizing it for the first time.

With a shake of his head and a dismissive wave of his hand, he discounted her reasoning. "Well, of course there aren't any more of them. What kind of a question is that? It seems that Shepard certainly made sure of that."

A few more hasty glances around the room.

"Look, I'm telling you that it shouldn't be possible!...Well, of course it doesn't matter! Do you honestly think I don't know that?"

As he spoke, he continued to trace booming steps around the room, narrowly missing the table that had, until very recently, held up the holoboard for ha'kero. Furtively he would often turn his head to face the empty corner.

"And now this…this array! Keelah, how had I not even known of its existence?"

He paused, as if listening for a reply. No audible one was forthcoming.

"I'm not so foolish as to think that I would be informed of everything, you know." He realized then that he wasn't the only one who hadn't been aware of the Array's existence. Koris and Raan had also been kept in the dark. "Yes, I suppose you're right. There was a war to prepare for and Xen, like the rest of us, would have had other priorities." He sniffed lightly before drawing up his back. "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

He pondered the Array for a moment. Shrouded in secrecy, he had to wonder about it. It wasn't such a surprise that the Geth had known about it, they had had files on practically everything imaginable. He had begun to go though some of their work when he returned from their meeting, and he thought he saw a pattern about the files – it almost felt like curiosity. To Han, it hadn't looked like the detailed, dry and mundane information entries that he would've found in an old encyclopedia. He thought that there was a touch of wonder to it. It was as if the Geth hadn't logged the information for its own sake, but they had done so in order to understand.

"Well, I hope they grasped the reality of their extinction, at least," he wished with a snort.

But that made the entry about the Kholas Array even stranger. Clearly, the machines had taken care in order to catalog a great number of things both wonderful and mundane – so why did they leave this mythical item so damn devoid of information? It unnerved him. They had hidden something.

He was sure of it.

And Daro'Xen was quite correct – this relay could not have been part of the network – could it? It seemed highly unlikely, he thought. There were no known linked relays that would have connected to the damn thing, and even if there had been, how would it have even worked?

With a nod and a sigh, he sat back down at his desk and picked up the datapad that lay there. It seemed to him that it held the same old lines of text and numbers as any other report.

"Do you remember that time we went to Nos Astra? What a place that was! So many lights! And the beaches…" He trailed off for a moment, lost in a memory that was razor-sharp in its focus.

"I wish you could have felt it." His head tilted as if he was surprised to have been spoken to. "Hmm? Sand, I mean. I have heard from many others that it is coarse and 'gets everywhere', but I would have quite liked to have felt it, you know." He set the datapad that he hadn't really looked at back down onto his desk. "Oh, and the feel of the water…I imagine it to be quite different to bathing in a clean room."

He tapped his heel against the floor.

"Yes…it would have been nice to have you…like that. It's a shame that…it's a shame that I'll…" Han's eyes lost their focus, along with wherever that train of thought might have been going. It ended up going nowhere, and was derailed completely by the chime at the door. It was followed by a voice.

"-thing okay, sir? You've not answered your comm." Another chime, somehow more desperate this time. "Sir? Are you all-"

With an angry shake of his head, the admiral leapt to his feet. "Yes! Damn it, come in!"

On cue, and with his hand at his sidearm as expected, Nat'Veral entered with pace.

The younger man turned to him, eyes wide. "Keelah, Admiral! I thought something had happened to you!"

Han noticed then the trailing figures that had also entered his quarters behind the lieutenant. A security detail, followed by a medical team.

Of course.

Trying to assuage them, Gerrel laughed heartily (perhaps a little too much so). "Well, I thank you for checking on this old admiral, Nat, but as you can see, I am fine." He manufactured a grin that he hoped would be noticeable in his speech. "Reports of my demise are, at the very least, premature. I was simply lost in thought."

He watched Nat'Veral relax. "Well, I apologize then, sir. It's just that Admiral Raan has been trying to reach you, sir."

"Oh?"

"Yes sir. It is regarding Admiral Zorah. She would not allow me to pass along any message, that it was for you alone."

That was curious. Han cleared his throat. "Well, if that's the case, I will apologize to her personally." He opened his omnitool and began typing a quick message that he would be back on Rannoch within the hour. Looking up, he was surprised to see that Nat and the others were still there.

"You're still here? Go. I am fine. Have a shuttle prepared, I'll be leaving within the hour."

The lieutenant gave him a solemn nod. "Yes, of course, sir."

Alone again, Han announced to the empty room that they would continue this conversation later.