"Shepard! You little pyjak! I'd heard that you'd made it, you crazy son of a bitch! And where the hell is my niece?"

Shepard had gone back aboard the Normandy just for this conversation. He'd tried to raise Tuchanka during the trip to Rannoch, but hadn't been able to get through - just as Ashley had warned him was possible. He laughed uproariously at his krogan friend. "Wrex! How the hell are ya? How's Bakara? And Grunt?" He realized that he hadn't actually answered Wrex's question. "To answer your question, your niece should be up here shortly. She's outside talking to Admiral Raan. You remember her, right? I know Tali brought her up at least once when we were on shore leave."

"Well, well. That's right. She's all grown up! An admiral of the fleet! Wait - there's still a fleet, right, Shepard?"

He laughed at the visage of his krogan friend. "Yeah, there's still a fleet. Not as big as it used to be, now that nearly everyone is back on Rannoch. But things are starting to get sorted out here."

"Hmmm. That's good, Shepard. You two are staying then?"

Shepard gave him a genuine smile. "Yeah, Wrex. We are."

"Heh heh. That's good. To answer your question - Bakara and I have been busy -"

He snorted a laugh. "Oh, I'm sure, Wrex. How many kids are you looking at? 10? 20?"

The krogan leader laughed again. "Give me time, Shepard! This quad can only do so much! Bakara keeps me in line, tells me I can't headbutt everyone I disagree with." He shook his head in annoyance. "And Grunt is over on Palaven with the rest of Aralach Company, acting as security and probably causing more trouble than they think he's worth. Heh." His expression turned more serious. "Shepard, how did you survive that?"

"Cerberus." The voice was not Shepard's.

"Tali!" The mighty krogan clan leader looked like if he could have hugged her, he would have crushed her.

Indeed, the quarian's lithe frame had sauntered up beside Shepard, and she wrapped an arm around his waist. "Hi, Wrex! How are you? How's Tuchanka?"

"Haha! I was just telling Shepard that I'm staying busy - between reinforcing our numbers," he ignored Tali's choked laugh, "and keeping the clans in line, I'm a busy man, with a sore quad." He looked over to Shepard then back to Tali. "So, what did you mean by 'Cerberus'?"

The former Spectre sighed. "You remember when they brought me back after the first Normandy was destroyed?"

Wrex emitted a low growl. "How could I forget what they did to you?"

"Well, it turns out that the Illusive Man had Miranda implant a 'failsafe' device. It kept my…mind cut off from the rest of me while the implants that they gave me tried to repair some of the damage." He shook his head as he recalled the experience. "Strangest week of my whole life. Either one." He looked over to Tali, who seemed lost in thought. "But totally worth it - both times." She seemed to perk up as she looked at him with an apparent smile.

"So what now, Shepard? New krantt? New battles?"

He shook his head. "Nah, Wrex." He snaked his arm around his saera to pull her closer to him. "I'm retired. I'm done looking for trouble, now it's just us," he squeezed Tali's waist, "and I'm looking forward to some peace and quiet. I've done my bit, Wrex."

John felt Tali stiffen ever so slightly beside him. He wondered what exactly that was about.

The ancient krogan eyed him for a moment. "Well, Grank was right, then. He said that you looked like a man that was ready for a rest. I don't blame you. Let us take it from here, Shepard. But about you two? Are you staying on Rannoch?"

Tali finally spoke up again. "Yes, Wrex." Shepard caught something in her tone. For once he couldn't quite place it. "And we're, uh, getting…oh keelah, how do I explain…?"

Wrex eyed her with curiosity.

"We're getting, well, humans call it 'married', but we call it 'bonded'."

For a moment, Wrex didn't react and John thought once again that the feed had been cut somehow. Then he laughed. Mightily.

"Well," he bellowed, "it's about damn time! So when is the party, and how much rynkol am I bringing?"

John tried to answer. "That's just it, Wrex. I'm not really sure -"

Tali hushed him with her own answer, bouncing excitedly on her toes. "A day or two, Wrex! Keelah, we don't waste time here!"

John's head had snapped in her direction at her admission of the timeframe. He really wanted to know how she had come up with that number.

Another hearty laugh erupted from him. "Well, I guess we'll have to have that party afterward." He turned his head, as if being spoken to by someone else on his end. "Shepard, Tali. I have to go. Some milk-drinking pyjak doesn't like his new assignment. And guess who has to set him straight?" He let out an annoyed laugh. "I'm happy for both of you. And Shepard?" his old friend eyed him solemnly. "I'm proud of you, brother. Until next time."

"Bye, Wrex!" They both exclaimed in unison as the krogan's image winked out.

"One or two days?" He grabbed both her hands.

"That's, um, part of what I wanted to tell you. We have a lot to talk about, John."

Despite a bit of worry, he smiled. "What about?"

They entered the mess hall to have a seat.

"You know the relay thing that we saw?"

He eyed her suspiciously. "Yeah. Why?"

"Daro knew what it was. It was called the Kholas Array." She sighed. "Apparently, a few pilgrims had gone there before. A quarian named Shio'Leth nar Novarra came back from Pilgrimage and tried to steal the Novarra."

His eyes shot wide open. "He what?"

"Keelah, I know. There's more."

He looked down at the table and sighed, but when he looked back up at Tali, he was wearing a wry smile. "I'm guessing that you volunteered." He watched her unleash a worried sigh of her own. "Tal, it's okay. You know I'm game."

He watched her eyes form the crescents so indicative of her bright smile. She squeezed his hand. "I hoped you would be, John. And someone else will be happy to hear that too." He raised his eyebrows in curiosity. "Veetor'Nara is coming with us, and he really wanted you to join us."

"Veetor? How is he?" He laughed a little. It would be nice to see him.

"Well, Daro says he's doing well, and that he's been helping a lot with the suit adaptations since the…well, since it happened."

Shepard nodded his head slightly, knowing exactly what her pause had been about.

"Okay, so just to recap…it's the Kholas Array, a guy name Shio'Leth went nuts after coming back from there, you're leading a team including myself (he definitely saw her tense in surprise - maybe she hadn't expected this to be 'her' team?), Veetor is coming with us, and…?"

Tali got up, still holding his hand as she stood. John followed her lead.

"You see, there's this other thing that we have to do…"

"Shepard, Tali. Welcome. If you'll just come with me."

John eyed Zaal uncertainly. He seemed far too cheerful for something so solemn. Noticing, Zaal continued. "Please Shepard, do not look so concerned. This should not be nearly as dour an affair as you might fear…especially as it concerns you two." Tali couldn't help but smile, she felt…was it a touch of pride? At any rate, Zaal made her feel better about everything and perhaps more importantly, made her feel a bit more comfortable. After all, she knew that their bond was true, and they way Zaal spoke, perhaps he was more aware than she had realized as well.

He had taken them to an old building - almost every building on Rannoch qualified, of course - but this building not only was old, but it actually looked the part. Where many of the other buildings in the capital were "old", due to the Geth and the effort they expended on upkeep, the buildings still felt demonstrably modern. This one though? Not so much. The walls were higher than what he'd seen from quarian architecture, and also a touch narrower. It added to a slightly claustrophobic feel that the pair was not accustomed to.

John scooted closer to his favorite quarian, nudging her with his hip. "Hey."

Giggling quietly, she nudged him right back with her far more ample hips, knocking him slightly off balance. "Hey, yourself. Bosh'tet."

They continued to follow Zaal down the hallway. He was taking his time, it seemed.

"So what is this place, Tal?"

"You don't know?" She shook her head in exasperation.

"Zaal, Shepard would like to know what this place is." Oh, she was teasing him now.

"Tali, you know that's not fair. You have home-field advantage."

She looked at him dumbly before poking him in the chest accusingly. "John, what the…what does that even mean?" When she only got his good-natured laughter in reply, his saera pouted. "Well, it's not fair that you always use your…your stupididioms!" They fell into each other's arms, laughing and using each other for balance.

It was a stupid exchange, but under the circumstances…they were going to laugh at everything.

Zaal cleared his throat. They had momentarily forgotten he was there, despite the circumstances. "Well, now that I have your attention again," he was clearly smiling, "I am going to guess that you don't know either, Tali, do you?" She tried to protest because she did know, but he was intent on continuing in this line of thought. "You were trying to hide behind his ignorance." Zaal gestured toward the lone human among them. He sighed. "Well, to answer your question, Shepard, this is an old Ancestral Temple."

"Ancestral Temple, Zaal?"

"Mmm. Yes. As you may be aware, before the Geth were created, we used to venerate our ancestors. You know, what you would call grandparents, great-grandparents and the like. In fact, some of us still do. This was a place for us to come together and thank our ancestors in fellowship."

Tali slipped her fingers between John's and squeezed his hand. She had already moved past Zaal trying to make her look bad, the bosh'tet. Now she just wanted to show John how much she loved that he was asking these questions, especially since this was a topic that they'd never really touched on. She had transferred some basic cultural files (John had said that he would add it to his "codex") to him when she was still on Pilgrimage, but they were very broad. He had asked once, but when Tali had brought up the memory of her mother, John had immediately changed subjects. The last thing he'd wanted to do with his bright but young and tentative engineer was make her more uncomfortable than she likely had already been.

"What do you mean by 'venerate' Zaal? Do you mean like 'worship', like a god or something?"

He laughed at him. "Keelah, no. It was nothing like that. It was more like…"

Tali interrupted him, remembering the times that she asked her own mother for guidance, especially as she tried to move past the loss of her neyha. The answer to that prayer had been a resounding "no". But the answer to the one that she dared not have asked - because it was impossible? Well, maybe there was something to venerating their predecessors, after all.

Because they - or someone - delivered the impossible.

She quietly snorted a small laugh. Yeah, but your ancestors had very little to do with what Liara did - what she gave up - and what Miranda completed.

Still…

"It's more like asking for guidance, John. I suppose, in asking a loved one for that, it…forced your mind to think about how that person would have handled a problem, I think. So, by asking for guidance, in a way, I think it made you come to a solution yourself because it forced you to change your mindset without even realizing it."

Zaal nodded his approval at that very reasonable explanation.

Shepard thought about that for a moment. In a way, it did make sense, but he was never much of a praying man - to ancestors or otherwise. For such a technologically savvy people, he was often surprised at their spirituality.

The older admiral continued.

"In fact, we held our ancestors in such high regard that we used to keep virtual…copies…of them." John ignored the slight limp that had returned - he'd been overdoing it, it would seem - but caught up to Zaal just the same.

"Hold on," he began with more force than he'd intended, "you kept your…VIs? Is that what they were? What do you mean?"

From behind him Tali's sweet voice answered, but she was in full "teacher mode" now. It reminded him of their talks on the SR-1 when she was still just a pilgrimage kid. "He means that our ancestors used to upload rudimentary copies of themselves - memories, some personality traits - into a data store so that their families could see them, talk with them…it was a way of keeping our ancestors with us even after they were gone." There was a tinge of sadness and melancholy that John hated to hear. Hopefully, soon it would all but disappear.

John stopped where he was, trying to grasp how far the quarians had gone to try to keep their predecessors with them. Tali slipped her hand in his again. "So…you both used the past tense. You don't do that anymore?"

To his surprise, both Tali and Zaal looked awkwardly away from him. "Listen, if it's something that shouldn't be -"

"No, John. It's fine," Tali said with a dismissive shake of her head. "Zaal, if you could…?"

"Shepard, they were destroyed by the Geth before we fled Rannoch."

"Oh." He put an arm around Tali's shoulders, squeezing her close to him. "I'm sorry, Tali." She put her own arms around his waist, leaning her head against his chest.

He had questions about how they worked, what it was like (did they even know?), why did the Geth destroy them? In the end, he asked none of them.

"Did any of them survive?"

It was Zaal's turn to shake his head. "None that we are aware of, no."

"Ah, damn it." Yet another casualty of war.

With a sigh, Zaal tried to get them back on course. "I apologize for the distraction. Raan is waiting for us in the main area ahead."

They continued in silence, with Tali resisting the urge to nudge John with her hips again. She liked the way that she had thrown him off-balance with them. Instead, she slipped her hand down to his rump, giving it a squeeze. When he looked at her with widened eyes and a smirk on his face, she simply leaned in with a little giggle.

"Well, I'm glad to know that you're still doing your exercises, John. That is very firm."

"Glad to know that my ass still meets your approval. I think I should check -"

He was about to reciprocate when Zaal announced that they were there - just through the door.

As they stepped through, the first thing that Tali noticed was that the walls were like a tapestry. Much like the Fen'tal, with its mural-like paintings adorning the walls, the room here had depictions of (unsuited) quarians looking up to (what Tali and John both presumed to be) their ancestors. She took a sharp inhalation, squeezing John's arm as she pointed to a particularly interesting set of quarians. They were gathered together in what looked to maybe a town square? John wasn't sure. The woman in the center was demonstrably taller, and had skin that appeared to be of a slightly golden tinge. Even the lone non-quarian in the room could deduce that this was no ordinary quarian.

Tali started to hastily walk toward it, tugging John along haphazardly behind her.

Still holding onto his arm with one hand, she pointed excitedly to the figure with the other. "John, do you know who this is?" The way she asked this made it seem to him that it should be obvious.

Obviously, it wasn't.

She remembered that they hadn't gotten this deep into quarian history, either. She'd have to apologize to him properly later. "No, of course you wouldn't. Sorry about that." She giggled and tapped her visor to his forehead.

"Anyway, this is Vari'Crael. She was…keelah, I've never actually seen her."

"She was the reason that we moved from separate tribal states to what you might call a 'representative democracy', Shepard." Shala had decided to get up from wherever she had been. They both whirled to face her. "Centuries ago - probably milennia by your reckoning, Shepard - we were a collection of independent states. We were prone to war and strife, as I think all societies are at some point during their history. She convinced the leaders of the separate governments to form a federation and a representative democracy. She recognized that we could be stronger if we worked together."

His eyes widened. He'd never heard of her, and she seemed to be a leader of some importance.

"You know, Raan, we tried that a few times in our past as well. It never seemed to work out. There was always more power to have, and someone usually took it…usually with disastrous results."

"Hmmm. A familiar pattern, unfortunately." She joined them properly, standing beside Zaal. "Now, we should get to the task at hand, as there will be plenty left to do. Shepard, you will join me in the adjoining room there." She gestured to a old slate gray door to the left of the tapestry.

"And Tali, you will join me there." Zaal nodded his head toward the adjacent room on the opposite side of this main hall. "Now come. And don't worry," he was addressing them both, "I promise this isn't as bad as you think."

"Prove it to me, Tali."

Her eyes widened. "What?"

"I want you to prove to me that he cares for you the way your saera should." Zaal sounded a little forceful, it was a "no nonsense" side to him that Tali had rarely seen. He didn't sound mean, or angry…just earnest in a very serious way.

They sat across from each other, a simple table in between them. The room was dimly lit - a common feature, it seemed - and the walls were adorned with more flowing, abstract artwork of lines and curves in hues of green, blue, and red. In the middle, on her side of the table, she sat incredulous.

Is this bosh'tet serious? What more do I have to prove?

A realization struck her. This was not Auntie Raan. While she had been privy to a good many things, Zaal'Koris had not.

"How long do you have, Zaal?" she deadpanned.

He was visibly surprised by the dry, acerbic tone she used. Her body language indicated that if she was going to be challenged, then she would more than prove her point. It left him feeling a little uncertain because it was not the answer he'd expected. It certainly wasn't the one that he'd given when he was in her position.

"Um…" was all he could muster.

She leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms defiantly in front of her.

"Did I ever tell you about the message that he left for me, when I thought he was…" The clenching in her throat had returned. It was both welcomed and hated. "When I thought that John was dead? After he destroyed the Reapers?"

He shook his head slightly. "No, Tali."

She leaned forward, pulling out her omnitool. "I kept it, Zaal. Just in case I never saw him again. I fully expected to watch it right before I ended what was left of my soul." She stopped to simply glare at him for a moment. It was a menacing posture. "I'd heard stories of what felz'elt was like, but I never really understood, I think."

Tali thought back momentarily to what she had felt after the SR-1 had been destroyed and she thought that she'd lost him. She had thought then that it was the worst pain she would ever feel, and at the time, it was. But it was a shade compared to the desperate hopelessness - the emptiness - that she had begun to feel after crashing on Eden Prime.

This det kazuat has the nerve to question me? To question us? My soul sings of its peace, it bathes in the light found in his soul. Who the fuck does he think -

A low growl escaped her. "Do you want to see it, Zaal?"

He swallowed hard. "See what, Tali?"

"My proof, you bosh'tet."

He nodded slightly, uncertain at what his approach should be.

"Good, because I've already queued it up."

Indeed, with a few taps on her omnitool, a grainy image of a man that once might have been the Spectre, John Shepard, appeared before him. He sat in a beat up chair, in a set of beat up armor, looking like a man that was twenty years older than the man that Zaal knew now. Dirt and blood covered his face, wounds from ancestors-knew how many battles.

"Just so you know, the wreckage of a city you see behind him is London. It is a large city and Earth's capital that the Reapers had attacked first, and where we had to go to get up to the Citadel." Another nod, and she secretly enjoyed seeing Zaal's discomfort.

Good. Be nervous. Feel uncomfortable. You should, for questioning this.

She tapped the image, and John Shepard began to speak.

"I bet you tried 'bosh'tet' first."

The commander laughed a little, it was a tired and dry sound.

"Tali, if…if you're watching this, then I guess that means one of two things, neither of which I'm exceptionally fond of: we either won, or we lost; in either case, I'm most likely dead.

Granted, I've been dead before, but I don't think this particular brand of lightning can strike twice." He chuckled to himself.

"That's probably an idiom you'll have to ask Ash about."

Tali turned to the other occupant in the room. "What he means is that there was almost zero chance of him…coming back to me."

Zaal did not say anything. She took it as a sign to continue.

"I'm going to…hold on to the hope that you're watching this while on your way to Rannoch."

He paused, and a tear ran down his face.

"I…so wanted to be there with you, for you. I…dreamed of being an old man, living with and loving you on Rannoch. We'd built you your home – our home, I'd hope."

"Do you know what he told me after he got me back on the Normandy during the final run? I'd been injured, and he…" she let out a shuddering breath as a few tears made their way out of her eyes on down her cheeks. "He told to 'go back to Rannoch.' To build myself a h-home, Zaal. He wanted me to live." She paused for a moment. "I never told him about felz'elt. If I had before we reached the final stage, he might very well have sacrificed his own happiness to spare me the possibility of that pain." She leaned in at him again. "You think about that, Zaal."

She continued the playback.

"Tali, I loved you with everything I had. I was…devoted to loving you in a way that was only trumped by my desire to ensure that you lived. You are…so amazing, Tali'zorah. Please don't ever doubt that. You are a gift: to me, to our friends, to your people. Your intelligence, devotion, your humor, your hips…"

Even Tali managed a smile at this.

That bosh'tet.

He laughed loudly, genuinely, and looked at the camera – at her – with a sly grin.

"…are gifts that I have never taken for granted. Every moment with you has been a moment that, for a long time, I felt that I didn't deserve. But you changed that in me. You were always afraid that you didn't measure up to me, but it was I who tried to measure up to you. I hope I did ok."

"I'm not sure about this next thing I'm going to say, and I don't know if this is the correct convention for how quarian names work, but," now it was Shepard's turn to start fidgeting. "I was very much hoping to make you…uh…'Tali'Shepard vas Rannoch'. Forgive me if that's not at all how that works. I, uh, just wanted to…I probably shouldn't have told you that bit."

Zaal gasped, and when Tali looked at him, his eyes were huge. "Keelah, Tali. I'm sor-"

She was having none of it. "I don't want your apology. I want you to watch."

He could do nothing except obey.

He looked away from the camera and chastised himself. "Jesus Christ, Shepard. You saved that for this video? Idiot."

He smiled before continuing. "Yeah, so there. I, uh, was going to do that…after the war." He raised his hands sheepishly. "Uh, surprise?"

He paused again, shaking his head.

"Anyway, saera, if there's something for me after death, know that I'll always wait for you."

"With that said, I don't want you to die with me. You'll mourn me, but don't forget that your life is still before you. There is so much for you to live for, Tali, even if I can't be there to see it with you in person. Live a life that you would be proud to tell me about."

He stopped talking as he pressed a few buttons and made sweeping gestures on his own omnitool.

"There. That's done."

He looked back at the camera, still looking excruciatingly tired, but somehow…relieved.

"Tali, assuming that the Reapers are defeated and the galaxy can resume normal service, I've left instructions with Barla Von. In the event that I don't make it out, once that is…" he swallowed hard before continuing, "officially declared, everything that I have is yours. Everything in the apartment, everything in the cabin on the Normandy, and whatever credits are in my name."

"And of course, my heart."

He paused again. Visible tears streaked lines as they ran through the dust that covered his cheeks.

"I am so sorry if this is the best I could do, if coming back to you is something that I'm not able to do. Please forgive me."

He once again wiped them from his face. Taking a few deep breaths, he continued, his voice breaking noticeably.

"Okay, that's all I can say, except 'thank you,' Tali. Thank you for everything. Thank you for being the best part of my life. I love you, and will cherish you always. And, yes, it was definitely worth it. All of it."

"Goodbye, Miss vas Normandy."

Tapping a few buttons, the image winked out of existence. Tali leaned forward on her elbows. "Are you satisfied, Zaal'Koris?"

Keelah. What the hell was he supposed to say to that?

"Shepard, I want you to know that for me, this is just a formality. I am well aware of what you two are to each other, and I have seen more than enough evidence. I am convinced, and will testify to this."

Shepard shuffled in his seat, watching Raan intently from across the table. There was something else at play here. The way she sat, the way she cocked her head, hell - the way she fucking spoke informed him of the obvious. While everything seemed to be little more than a formality…

Quite frankly, he was not convinced.

"But tell me…"

Here it fucking comes.

"…about felz'elt."

What?

"What?"

"About 'felz'elt', Shepard. I'm sure that Tali told you about it. After all, she is your saera."

He inhaled sharply. She had definitely been saving this question for a special occasion He almost had to admire her for the cunning it took to unload the question on him now. In either case, he was completely in the dark here, grasping at straws inside a room he could not see. Frantically, he pored through his brain, trying to find a reference to the term anywhere in his mind.

He came up empty.

"You have me at a disadvantage, Raan. Either we didn't discuss it or, more likely, she told me and I forgot. Human memories aren't quite the same as your eidetic memories." He offered a soft smile, hoping to take the edge off the proceedings.

"Hmmm. Curious."

Apparently to no avail.

"Would you care to enlighten me, then?"

Shala leaned forward on her elbows, almost…glaring at him, he thought.

What the fuck is she playing at? There's an angle here, something she's trying to prove. I just need to figure out -

"Felz'elt is the state when one's soul is torn asunder by the loss of its missing half. It is most keenly felt near the beginning of a full bonding, since there are fewer memories to satiate the soul that has been left behind. It almost never ends well."

Loss of its missing half…near the beginning…fuck me.

His eyes widened as he put the pieces together.

"Don't leave me…behind."

He shuddered noticeably. Tali wasn't just pleading because she didn't want to leave him. She was pleading, knowing that she couldn't live without him - literally. And it sure seemed like he had betrayed her plea.

"What memory did you just relive?"

He cleared his throat and wiped his brow with the back of a sweaty hand. He inhaled sharply before coughing as a result.

"It was the end run on Earth. We were on our way up to the Citadel and Tali got injured. She couldn't go on. I called in the Normandy to take both her and Garrus to safety. I couldn't…" Tears welled up in him. He cleared his throat. "Raan, I needed her to survive. I needed her to live. I didn't know…" He shook his head, and before he knew it, he was crying softly into his hands.

How could I have not known? I should have sensed it in her voice…that there was more to leaving her behind than…

"Shepard," Raan began quietly, "what would you have done if you had known?"

Memories flooded through him - all their quiet talks in engineering, all the silly shit they used to do on the Citadel during their down time (Keelah, it's like this "bowling" was designed by a quarian!), all of the late nights they would spend making love after an evening of watching dumb flicks or that one time he tried to sing accompanying vocals to that song in Fleet and Flotilla (he couldn't remember the name of it) - and he was almost overcome with…he didn't know. He couldn't describe it. Whatever it was, it was a black, oily feeling.

"I don't know, Raan." There was a rising anger within him. What would he have done had he known? Would he have still made that decision?

If you'd known, would you have forced that kind of existence on her? What would you have done if it was reversed? What if she was telling you? What if she was trying to leave you behind so that you could live?

"I…think that I would have told her to go fuck herself." It was a whisper; he wasn't even sure that she heard him. Somehow, he would have found a way. Like he always did. Of course, there was another side to those circumstances - a cold, calculating side to it (some might even say it was "ruthless"): Tali was going to be of no use in getting to the Citadel. She would have only slowed him down, it hurt for him to think that way, but war didn't give a shit about such niceties. He'd had no choice; not really.

As if in response to his whispered thought, she tilted her head.

"What was that, Shepard?"

He shook his head violently, trying to clear his mind to think. "Nothing, Raan."

John, what would you have done? Would you have knowingly made her feel that?

A thought struck him.

Like everything in life, this was a transaction. Everything for us was, because we both knew that we were likely living on borrowed time anyway. I knew it, and Tali certainly knew it.

"Nothing, Raa," he reiterated with conviction. "I would have changed nothing." He raised his stone-like gaze to match hers, with his stormy blue eyes boring into hers.

The quarian admiral took in a sharp breath. "Why?"

He raised his voice, and the glow of biotics began to channel around his fists. Vile anger began to swell in him. "Because Tali knew about fetz'elt. I may not have, Raan, but that fact is irrelevant. She knew that, should I die, she would be in terrible pain. While I am constantly sorry that I made her go through what she did, something like that was always on the cards for people like us. And she was willing to take that risk to feel complete, to be loved - so unreservedly loved - by me. Even if we would have only had months instead of years." He stood up, still glaring at her. "She was courageous enough. And so was I, Raan. Because I knew that I wasn't the only one in danger. I knew that the possibility existed that she might…" He swallowed hard. "That she might leave me."

Is that what she wanted to hear? Because if she still wants to doubt us, I swear to -

He looked down suddenly and gasped. He hadn't realized that he was crackling with blue light.

Seeing his loosely bottled anger subside along with the biotic energy he had been channeling, Raan's posture relaxed noticeably. She exhaled noisily and her eyes became glowing crescents, indicating a clear smile.

"Shepard, that is precisely what I would have expected from you, and you are correct on all counts. You treat her with not only great care, but you respect her ability to think and decide for herself - she is an equal. Furthermore, you were willing to take the chance that you might lose her."

It was his turn for confusion. "Yeah, well, she's worth it. Every goddamn bit of it, Raan. Now," he started with a huff, "are we finished here?"

"Yes, Shepard. Please accept my apology. None of this was personal, but it had to be done this way." She checked an alert on her omnitool. "And Tali has finished with Zaal. He said that she made him 'feel like a small child'." She looked at him with a smirk. "Well, it sounds like she passed his test, too."

Raan stood up, gesturing to the door behind him. "Come, Shepard. It is high time we begin preparing for this ceremony that you two have so richly earned."