[Chapter 3.5: Trick And Treat]
Ainz looked out the window as the leaves in the garden fell to the ground, decorating the landscape with various shades of red, orange, and brown before being swept away by a wraith in a maid outfit, the smug aura of its supervisor reaching the Overlord even inside the mansion.
"Are you thinking about something important, in fact?" came the voice of the spirit Ainz had contracted.
"Nothing of the sort." he answered, "I just happened to remember an old tradition from a world I once inhabited. It happened around this time, I think."
"Something magical, I suppose?"
"Of a sort. It was called Halloween, and people of old believed that it was time for the spirits of the dead to visit. By the time I was in that world, it was mostly good fun. Children dressed up as mythical creatures and posed people with an ultimatum, either a trick or a treat, and decorations of all sorts were put up. People also opened up their houses as attractions, offering scares and treats to visitors."
'Or so I heard.'
With all the pollution in the 22nd century, only the rich could afford to indulge in such frivolous activities. Still, it was a fun thing to think about. Maybe somewhere in the distant past his own ancestors enjoyed such things?
"That sounds fun, in fact." Beatrice commented, floating up and sitting on the windowsill, "Emilia and Rem would enjoy it, I suppose."
Ainz put a hand to his skeletal chin, uttering a dignified "Hmm."
"What are you considering, in fact?"
"There's one person I would need to convince."
"Roswaal, I suppose?"
"No…" Ainz nearly shuddered as he stepped away from the window and headed towards the person who could make or break his plans.
ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
"And what exactly made you come up with such a ridiculous idea?" the pink-haired maid asked, her arms crossed and her one visible eye glaring at Ainz.
"I just happened to remember an old tradition that I thought may be enjoyable." Ainz answered, shrugging as if to dispel the hostile stare of the maid, "So what do you say?"
"What do I gain out of this? There appears to be hardly any benefit from allowing this mess to occur."
'You wouldn't do the decorating and cleaning anyway, you'd just wave around your wand while the wraiths did it.' Ainz thought to himself, preferring to not say that outloud and receive an Al Fura directly to the forehead.
The Overlord fell silent for a second, trying to find an avenue that would convince Ram, a metaphorical [Light] appearing above his head moments later.
"Rem would probably find it fun." he said, stealing a page from Beatrice's book, hoping that it would be just as effective on Ram as it was on him.
She put a hand to her chin much like he had, scrutinising the proposal. "That is convincing… but I need something more."
"I already gave you all the intangible maids you could hope for."
The Overlord sighed. Out of all the uses undead could have, Ram's use for them was certainly up there in terms of practicality. Frankly, Ainz approved of the use, but what he didn't approve of was her insistence of putting maid uniforms on them; something about tradition or a maid's pride. He didn't quite get that part.
'If she makes me enchant them… I swear, I'm dragging her to the biggest warzone I can possibly find.'
"While having you enchant my maids' outfits is tempting…" she said, as if she had read his mind, "What I really need is a new and better wand."
Ainz breathed a sigh of relief, or at least did as much as his undead physiology allowed him, and said, "That can be arranged. Could I see your old one?"
She handed what appeared to be a short cane over to him, Ainz immediately analysing it with his magic.
"This is not enchanted…" he muttered, somehow disappointed despite the fact that he hadn't found a single enchanted piece of gear in this world so far.
"It's made out of my old horn, and it helps channel my mana. Still, you must have something better, right?"
'Made out of her horn? I suppose if it becomes a different object, the body part won't disappear. Odd, but it may have its uses in the future.' Ainz thought to himself, archiving the piece of information for some obscure use in the future.
He began rummaging through his inventory, trying to strike the right balance. To his knowledge, Ram was now very strong, and so it would prove beneficial to enhance that strength even further. Trusting her by now was more than a safe bet, and so he felt confident grabbing one of his better items from within the void.
It appeared to be the branch of a sakura tree, the petals eternally resting in their place on the branch. "Here. It's not exactly made for wind magic, but it should prove to be quite powerful."
Ram inspected the item, pausing for a moment, "You didn't just pick this because it matches my hair, right? You wouldn't be such a fool, correct?" The cold gaze of the maid chilled Ainz to the bone.
"No, no. It just so happens that this item is the best fit for you. What a coincidence." Ainz said, his statement indeed being the truth. Nevertheless, he'd prefer to not explain the importance of fashion in battle.
'Mental warfare is half the game, but only Punitto would be able to get that in her head.' he thought, not particularly liking the idea of trying to imitate his old friend and instead becoming the first target of the wand.
Seemingly satisfied both with the answer and the item, Ram said, "Alright, I'll help you in your scheme."
And so, a plan was hatched.
ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
The mansion loomed over them, opulent and imperial. Dread radiated from it, the plants surrounding it now looks withered and wrong, a sickening pale-blue aura twisting and contorting them into shapes from beyond the stars.
A blue comet decorated the central spire, lodged into it and calling forth forces not meant to be. From within the mansion, lights flickered, figures passing by the windows as mere silhouettes, their visages illuminated for only moments.
Flesh rotted and sliding off their bodies, their glassy eyes looking out at their would-be victims.
Cobwebs and abominable vines seized the mansion, expanding by the moment, reaching out towards the three girls. It was a horrid sight, and Petra gulped looking upon it.
This was a blasphemy against the very Gods, taken form in the place where Roswaal's mansion once was.
"A-Are you sure i-it's safe?" she asked, her voice quivering.
"Y-Yes… Ainz would never hurt us, right?" Emilia tentatively answered, glancing over to Rem, who nervously fidgeted with her morningstar.
"D-Dear sister wouldn't allow it… I think." the maid answered, "S-S-Shall we?"
Petra, whose bravery was the greatest out of the village kids, quickly reached out to grab the hand of the silver half-elf. Even if she wanted to meet the cool mage that had saved her and her village, this was… a bit much. Still, she gathered herself and pressed forward, following behind her companions.
Emilia and Rem, meanwhile, took deep breaths. Ainz was many things: mysterious, powerful, brilliant, and above all kind. Or at least he could be. They both also knew that he could be terrifying, and experiencing that first hand would be an experience, that was for sure.
As they stepped closer, the doors to the mansion swung open, as if punched by a giant.
It was as if staring into the maw of death, a pale light illuminating the inside.
Creak.
Someone was coming.
Creak.
Their footsteps were light, and a warm, orange light dispelled the sickly atmosphere within the mansion.
As the girls waited, Rem stepped in front of the other two with her weapon in hand.
Something scratched at the wooden walls of the mansion, a masked figure revealing itself. For a brief moment, the group thought that it was Roswaal. It was tall and skinny, dressed like a jester and with a mask covering its upon closer inspection, one could notice that its fingers consisted of scalpels.
In its hand was a lantern, one shaped like a pumpkin, and it handed it over to Rem, stepping aside with a bow.
Gingerly accepting the lantern, Rem moved forward. Once inside the main hall, the trio looked up. Where once was a beautiful chandelier, now there was an abominable undead. It appeared as an abomination of twisted faces, all crying out in agony.
"Welcome, mortals!" came its multitude of overlapping voices, "You have until dawn to find my master within one of the rooms! Succeed and be rewarded, or fail and pay for your folly!"
With its message delivered, the creature dissipated into mist.
"Rooms? Is Ainz using Beatrice's trick?" Emilia asked, glancing at Rem.
"Probably, Lady Emilia. Shall we investigate the west wing first?" the maid answered, prompting the group to head to the west.
Passing through the corridors, they looked out for any tricks or traps that Ainz may have set up. The stairs appeared to be clear of obstacles, but the random skulls and massive spiders that decorated the area still gave them the chills.
"I understand now why the others didn't want to come." Petra mumbled, looking closer at one of the paintings that lined the wall. This one appeared to display a man with long, dark hair and crimson eyes.
'Is he looking at me?' she asked herself, the eyes of the man seemingly tracing her movements.
She leaned forward and something crimson seemed to be thrown from the painting.
"Ah!"
Where there should have been pain and a flesh-melting sensation, there instead was just the unpleasant feeling of being drenched in cold water.
"Are you alright?" came the voice of Emilia.
"Y-Yea." the girl answered, "It's just…"
Before she could fully explain her odd circumstances, Rem said, "Ainz gave me just the thing for such a situation!" She rummaged through her maid outfit, though where the actual storage room was in such a thing only Gods knew, and took out a scroll.
"[Cleanse]."
The parchment burnt up in an instant, the water the painting had decided to throw upon her disappearing alongside it. How Ainz got his hands on such an item, or why he decided upon such a trick, would have to remain a mystery.
"Let's keep moving. I'm sure there are a few more things like that in store."
Once they were in the long corridor that stretched throughout the entirety of the west wing, Emilia spotted something far in the darkness. Given that even the moon seemed to retreat from this accursed place, this being was the only thing piercing the darkness.
"Is that a… skull?"
It appeared to burn with a colourful, smokeless flame. Slowly, ready to freeze the thing at a moment's notice, Emilia led the trio towards it. If this indeed was another obstacle, then it surely meant that this path was the right one.
"Halt, trespassers three."
"Trespassers? Two of us live here." Emilia said.
"Shush." the floating skull answered, mumbling something under its breath, with lightning promptly striking just outside the window and causing all three to jump. "Each of thee shall answer mine riddles. One for each. You, child, shall be first."
Petra looked up at her two companions for a moment. Seeing that the two gave her encouraging nods, she stepped forward. The flames dancing in the skull's eyes sockets stared into her soul before the summon said, "What…"
The girl gulped; would this skull ask for some forbidden knowledge? Something alien to all but the greatest of mages? Something that only the mythical Witch would know?
"Is the name of the kingdom we find ourselves in?" it asked after a brief pause.
'That's it?' the entire trio thought simultaneously.
"U-um, Lugnica?" Petra answered, wondering if perhaps this was some weird trick question.
"Correct. You may pass." the skull said, moving aside as Petra walked forward. "Now tis thy turn, silver one."
'If it's anything like the last question, I'll be fine. Ainz knows how much I studied… Oh. Oh no.'
Right as the realisation kicked in and she realised her limits were fully known to her adversary, the skull spoke. "How many Gods in the patch of our Lord Momonga did Ainz Ooal Gown slaughter upon the fields of Niflheim?"
'Patch? Momonga? Niflheim? That last one was a place Ainz mentioned but… It couldn't have been too many…'
"36?" she said, remembering that this was typically the amount people like Ainz gathered in for battle. Maybe they killed an entire group like that? A patch wasn't exactly a unit of time she knew how to measure.
The skull seemed to scowl and its flames burned brighter, "You dare underestimate my lord? You fail: [Teleportation]."
Emilia disappeared out of sight, and the skull turned to Rem. "Now you, demon. Tell me: What was the nerf that ruined Lord Punitto's overheal instant-cast combo?"
"It was… Um…"
"[Teleportation]."
With two of the trespassers gone, the skull turned to the one that actually managed to pass its test. "Follow me."
Floating down the corridor, it turned towards a door seemingly at random. It swung open, Petra immediately freezing in her tracks.
Stood there was a man – monster – of many facets. Power seemed to emanate from him, his appearance screamed of divinity, but the awkward manner in which he scratched the back of his head also tried its hardest to dispel the former two.
"Oh, Petra, right? I apologise for the fact that you couldn't join the other two, but the event I have planned for them is… not exactly designed for children." Ainz said.
'I really expected the ominous glow to scare off everyone, but I guess I have to applaud this girl's determination.'
If he were her, he would have avoided the ominous mansion staffed by undead like the plague, but instead here was Petra.
She gingerly stepped into the room, "I-It's fine, Mister A-Ainz."
'Man, I don't know how to deal with children.' he thought to himself, his gaze briefly falling upon Beatrice, who was gorging herself upon some candy at the windowsill, 'She doesn't count… but maybe that method will still work.'
Out of his inventory he pulled out a basket that looked like a hollowed out pumpkin, extending it to Petra. "Here, for your bravery. I didn't exactly plan on a traditional haunted house except for a few scares, most of which you avoided, but just coming here is a feat in and of itself."
Petra took hold of the gift, seemingly more afraid of Beatrice's gaze as the spirit stared at the bag on Ainz's skeletal hand.
Ainz looked over to his contracted spirit, "The girl is already scared enough, Beatrice. Besides, spirits don't need to eat, right?"
"No, I suppose, but we can get miniscule amounts of mana from food, in fact." she answered, unwrapping another candybar,
The Overlord sighed, walking up to her and summoning a handkerchief, "I would say that I have much more mana-rich foods in stock, but for today you get a pass." He crouched down, forcefully wiping away the chocolate stains from Beatrice's face.
"Keep still, my companion needs to be presentable in front of a guest." he said, the flailing of the spirit proving to be no obstacle.
After a few seconds, he realised there were purple crystals manifesting around him, prompting him to motion to his ring. Understanding the unspoken gesture, Beatrice allowed the undead mage to finish cleaning her face, as childish as it felt.
"I apologise for that display, Petra." Ainz said, standing up and incinerating the cloth he had just used. "Now then, you can go home now. Or… you could watch the true trial I have prepared for the other two."
"I just have one question, Mister Ainz." the girl said, struggling to keep her voice from cracking. The Overlord glanced at her and motioned for her to continue. "Would you… teach me magic?"
"Magic? Hmm…"
'I probably know less of this world's magic than you! There's no way I can take on an apprentice! I just steal other people's magic! Maybe Emilia's and Rem's battle will change her mind?'
"How about you first watch what those I mentor have to deal with?"
ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ
"Did you also get some unanswerable question?" Emilia asked the second Rem appeared.
"Mhm, and it wasn't even a proper riddle."
Both the girls pouted before briefly analysing their surroundings. They appeared to be in the courtyard, though the entire area seemed to shine with some off magical glow.
Suddenly appearing in front of the two, it was the skull from before and, oddly enough, Aeternia. The Eternal Death bowed and said, "Lady Emilia, Lady Rem; Lord Ainz has decided to give you a trial of combat against myself and an Elemental Skull."
The two girls gulped, "Um, do you expect us to win this?" Emilia asked.
"No." Aeternia immediately answered, "This is merely training. However, I have been authorised to draw blood should you make a vital mistake."
Out on a nearby balcony, concealed by powerful magics, Ainz chuckled to himself. 'So she did actually listen to me and lie. Well, Emilia probably knows I wouldn't allow such a thing.'
"That's surely a lie." Rem said, crossing her arms and staring down the summon.
"It is." Aeternia immediately confirmed, abruptly freezing before calling out to seemingly no one. "But master, you only told me to lie in that one instance to Lady Emilia!"
Realising Ainz was probably somewhere in the direction Aeternia was looking, Emilia said, "You really thought we'd fall for that?"
Teleporting in front of the girls, Ainz cancelled the illusions he had cast upon himself. "Call it a trick of the season." he said, reaching into his inventory, "I was planning to give you these after this whole ordeal, but since you saw through my trick early – with some help I didn't intend on giving you – I may as well give you these now."
Out of his inventory he pulled out a blue, crystalline morningstar, giving it to Ram. "Seeing as I just gave your sister a new wand and Emilia has her sword, it's about time you get a new weapon as well." he said, then handing out a few sweets to both.
"These will give you temporary buffs for combat. You'll need it for this, and don't worry, I'll give you some normal candy later." Ainz gave each of the girls a pat on the head and promptly disappeared.
After offering its adversaries enough time to use the consumable its Lord handed out, the Elemental Skull turned to Aeternia, "Shall we begin on a count to three?"
Everyone gathered nodded, and the skull said, "Three! [Lightning]!"
Rem dodged out of the way of the spell, only barely managing to yell, "Hey! That's not fair!"
"Combat rarely is." Aeternia said, appearing behind Rem with her two daggers drawn, only to be interrupted by a floating, icy blade. "An impressive trick, Lady Emilia."
Brushing off the compliment, Emilia turned her attention to the floating skull, getting ready to counter its magic. As she had learnt previously, ice wouldn't be effective against undead, but crushing damage would be.
"Ul Huma!"
Brilliant pillars of ice appeared from the ground, attempting to strike at the elemental summon. "[Inferno]!" A torrent of flame surrounded the skull, melting away the pillars of ice until they were nothing but vapour. Once the spell cleared, the skull itself also appeared to be a little singed.
To the side, meanwhile Rem tested out the full capabilities of her new weapon. Perhaps this time around Ainz did indeed choose it due to it matching Rem's hair colour, but the maid found that its performance was still beyond her old weapon.
Her old weapon required technique and skill to manoeuvre, here meanwhile it felt nearly as if she could will the movements into existence. All in all, it was a fantastic piece of gear.
Was it good enough to defeat Aeternia? No, not really, but it helped.
She swung her morningstar to the side, entangling the arm of her adversary as the Eternal Death rushed at her.
"Impressive." Aeternia said, promptly dislocating her shoulder to get into reach of the maid.
Before the dagger could reach Rem, she threw Aeternia backwards by whipping her weapon backwards, the undead being unprepared for her still-entangled arm to experience such force. A massive crash echoed out as Aeternia hit the dirt, though the ground itself somehow remained undisturbed.
The undead jumped back up nearly immediately, grabbing the chain of the morningstar as Rem tried to untangle it from around Aeternia's arm. The maid went flying forward as Aeternia pulled on the chain, the strength of the summon being nothing to scoff at.
Rem reorientated herself midair, narrowly avoiding the blade of her opponent and only suffering a bit of damage from the rough landing.
She stood up, only to be forced to her knees as she blocked an attack from Aeternia, the force pushing her into the ground.
On the other side of the courtyard, Emilia's magical duel was… questionable. Most of her spells proved to be useless against the floating skull, but they did force the summon to harm itself in order to deflect, so some progress was being made.
Nevertheless, she knew the undead was going easy on her, but she was not going to return the favour. Spear after spear of ice was sent out at the creature, the flames that acted as its own defence burning it alongside the projectiles.
"Interesting strategy, but tis about time for me to go onto the offensive."
A strike of lightning echoed out, and another, both narrowly avoided by Emilia but loud enough to cause the Overlord to send out a covert [Message] to his summons.
{Tone it down, or she will come around and the fun will be over.}
However, it seemed that it was already too late.
Ainz turned around to see Ram, wand in hand – and the maid herself in undead hands as a wraith carried her forth.
'She is having too much fun with those things.'
"Ainz! What in the world is going on out there?!"
'[Illusionary Landscape], [Twin Maximise Magic: Perfect Unknowable], [Twin Maximise Magic: Perfect Unknowable], [Maximise Magic: Silence].'
Silently casting as many illusion spells as he could, the outside area suddenly went quiet.
"Oh, nothing. Rem and Emilia should still be wandering around the mansion, if that's who you're looking for." he said, trying to play it cool.
Ram's stare was like a pair of daggers, trying to look deep into his soul. Unfortunately for her, such a thing wouldn't be able to bypass his protective magics.
She motioned for the wraith to carry her forward, most likely for her to go onto the balcony and look out into the courtyard.
Instead of making the wraith disobey her, since that would have been a little suspicious, he instead merely prayed to whoever would listen, 'Please don't break the illusion, please. Whatever deity is out there, help me just a bit!'
Looking out into the courtyard, Ram found nothing amiss. Everything seemed to be in order, and it would have been even if the illusion was dispelled, since Ainz had the foresight to reinforce the ground with magic so as to not make the entire area look like a proper battlefield.
Still, the most important part – that being that the four combatants were hidden – appeared to be accomplished.
After a few more seconds of scrutinising the area, Ram shrugged and made her way back inside the mansion.
"Whatever you were doing, keep it down. This is my day off, after all."
'With all those wraiths you have, every day is a day off.' Ainz silently grumbled. However, as his dismay at the maid now having little to no work arose, a brilliant idea hit him.
"By the way, Ram, if Petra hasn't changed her mind," Ainz began, glancing at the girl next to him. Instead of terror filling her eyes after the exchange she witnessed outside, it appeared to be excitement, and so the Overlord continued, "you wouldn't mind teaching her some magic, would you? I am not very well versed in this world's variety, or the lower tier spells."
Ainz gently pushed Petra forward, prompting the girl to say, "Hello, Miss Ram."
The maid looked at Petra for a moment before saying, "Under one condition, that being that she also trains as a maid."
'Are you collecting maids from every species or what!?' Ainz nearly cried out, but the girl next to him appeared to be ecstatic.
"Thank you, Miss Ram!" she said, running up to the maid and promptly being picked up by a nearby wraith.
"And we will start your training immediately."
The two were carried away, leaving Ainz with only one quandary: how the hell would he explain all the illusions to Rem and Emilia?
Well, that was a problem he could always handle. He snapped his fingers, cancelling the illusions and bringing all the combatants to him.
"You both were very impressive." Ainz said, summoning some candy to hopefully distract the two. They were still teenagers, so hopefully they still had a sufficient sweet tooth.
"Thank you, but what about those illu-"
"You never know when a battle will end due to random interference from a third party. I believe this is a valuable lesson for the both of you." the Overlord bluffed, "Now have a treat and I'll tell you a story from my past."
The two girls, and the two summons oddly enough, immediately sat down in a semicircle in front of Ainz.
'I guess a story where the monsters are protagonists would fit well, right?'
With a particular raid coming to mind, he began "It all began when this guild of angels…"
By the end of the tale, the entire group looked at Ainz bewildered, or at least half of them did, Emilia and Rem having fallen soundly asleep when dawn came about.
Nevertheless, Ainz thought to himself, 'It wasn't a bad night.'
Edited by Korak324
Pa tr e on DOT com / EdgyTheWriter
(AN: Here's something a little fun for Halloween, with all the other stories getting a special such as this as well, so go check out [Supreme Fear] and [Runners]! As always, more to come and I hope you've enjoyed the story so far!)