Heroes in the Dark chapter 26
(Author's Note: This is being posted on the one year anniversary of HinD, and I just want to give a special thanks to all my readers. I couldn't have made it this far without you! So enjoy my longest chapter yet.)
Tokoyami got his first look into what hidden treachery lay beyond these locked doors. He'd already figured he wouldn't like what lay behind them, but this was a different kind of thing he hadn't expected coming across within the depths of the yakuza headquarters. Peeking into the room, he saw that the walls were painted with rainbows and other bright, cheery imagery, but the rest of the room failed to reflect that. The cute furniture and decorations felt meaningless in the darkness of the room. Boxes of more girl's toys littered the floor, untouched and gathering dust. A bed that was much too large for a child sat in the center of the room, its sheets rumpled and unkempt.
Hearing the door open, a little girl curled up on the bed sat bolt upright. Tokoyami instantly recognized the expression of terror in her dull red eyes. She threw up an arm covered entirely in bandages in a feeble act of protecting herself from the visitors.
"Eri! It's okay, it's okay," her caretaker assured, his abrasive nature turning on a dime to become a fakely sweet voice. "I just wanted to check up on you." He turned on the lamp at her bedside and scanned the room, his crocodile smile becoming strained. "You haven't touched any of your toys at all. And after I went and bought them for you, too! Don't you think you could let your guard down, just a little?"
Tokoyami stood uncertainly in the doorframe. From the little girl's response, he worried that his presence might upset her further. That wasn't what he wanted to accomplish here. But the man saw him holding back and beckoned him inside. "Hey, why don't you get that toy out of the box for her or something? Don't just stand around," he growled. But then he turned right back to the little girl, petting her head in a way that showed no semblance of affection. "Don't worry, Eri, I got you a playmate this time! Is there anything else I can get ya? Sweets? More damn toys?" When she didn't respond, he turned to leave, eager to get out of the room again. "Okay, sure why not?" He paused next to Tokoyami, his smile twisting into a scowl, and bent down to whisper: "I'll be back in a bit. I'm locking the door up, so I'm trusting you here. Lay a finger on her, upset her, do anything wrong and I'll make damn sure that you're the first to die, got it? But if you can make her happy, I'll share some of my raise with ya! Pretty good deal, right?" He straightened, going right back into his other voice. "I'll be back in a bit, Eri, so play nice with your new friend!" And then he was gone, closing the door behind him as though he couldn't be bothered to stick around longer.
Tokoyami's feathers prickled with unease. He had prepared himself to encounter all manner of things in the darkness of this facility: illegal weapons, drugs, hacking software, and entire rooms filled with unethically attained wealth. Whatever you would normally expect from a prestigious group of yakuza. But something about seeing this little girl, here of all places, was particularly upsetting. Kids shouldn't be in these kinds of places.
You're a kid too, ya know!
Yeah, but that's different. It was my own actions that brought be here. But her? She's too young. I doubt she's done anything to deserve being in this place. By the light of the lamp, Tokoyami could see that all of her limbs were covered in those bandages, not just the one. It felt all too intentional, rather than something that a small accident might cause, and he didn't want to think what kind of scars they concealed. But then he caught sight of her eyes again, wide as moons and filled with worry, and he didn't have the heart to meet her gaze. He looked down at the floor instead, at all the untouched toys, and set down the new one beside them where he was sure that it, too, would gather dust.
"I…I'm Fumikage Tokoyami. If there's anything you want, please don't hesitate to ask…" He didn't know how he was supposed to address this child. He considered that the best thing to do might just be to leave her alone.
You're being too formal! Treat her like a kid! Dark Shadow hissed. I've seen you play with kids before; you'll be fine!
But I've never encountered something like this! I don't want to upset her, but I don't know what else to do. How do I know she wants anyone here, let alone someone like me?
The little girl shifted in her bed until she was covered completely by the covers. "It's okay," she mumbled in a voice so small he could barely hear it. "You don't have to be here. I'm fine."
Now it sounded like she was the one trying to reassure him. "So you say, but I think the door might be locked from the outside. I'm afraid I might not be able to leave."
A few moments of awkward silence passed before she responded. "…Oh yeah. I guess so."
Tokoyami clutched his cloak closer to him like a blanket and walked around to the side of the bed, making sure not to get too close. He didn't want to be like that man, getting too far into her personal space. "Do you hurt? Are you sick? I…I'm sorry if I upset you, but I promise I mean no harm."
More moments passed, as though all of her decisions were riddled with uncertainty. Finally she poked her head out of the covers to see him in the light for the first time. But it was short lived when she just as quickly retreated back into hiding, a small lump in the piles of blankets that covered the bed. "That's not true. You're wearing one of Overhaul's masks. You're no different."
That stung him more than it should have, considering that it was an easily made misunderstanding. He wondered how many more times he would be confused as one of Overhaul's followers thanks to his appearance alone. Even if the thought of fitting in was a necessary advantage, it was still disheartening to so easily be assimilating with everything he stood against. It made him wonder how he was able to make it so far as a student hero in the first place, not that it ended up doing him much good. "I-I'm not–!" Tokoyami sighed, making his voice gentle instead of defensive. "It's not a mask, it's just how I look. I don't know how familiar you are with mutant type quirks, but I can't exactly help the fact that I have a bird head…"
Eri sat up slowly in bed. She still held herself in a very guarded way, but Tokoyami recognized the look of curiosity in her eyes. Her long white hair fell around her, split only by a horn that jutted abruptly from her temple.
"…Just like you can't help the fact that you have a horn."
Her gaze dropped, and she touched her horn lightly with what might have been shame. "I don't believe you. Overhaul sent you. You're another one of those scary birds."
Tokoyami sat on the floor a few feet away from her so that she could look down at him from the bed. He shook his head, and she watched the way his feathers moved. "I never wanted to get caught up in all this. I was studying to become a hero until recently before falling into a darkness that I couldn't escape. And now as fate would have it, Overhaul demanded me to be here, and I had no choice but to agree. But I don't agree with the things he does, I don't like that I'm here now, and I certainly don't wear his plague doctor masks."
Hey! Don't you think you're saying too much? What if she tells this stuff to the head honcho? What if others are listening in? Dark Shadow's voice sharpened. You should start thinking more for yourself.
She's just a child. Part of being a hero is proving that you're there for the people who need it. I don't think I'm saying anything too unexpected. Besides, she deserves to know these things. It would be nice if she weren't afraid of me, for starters.
Eri looked like she was processing a lot of information. When she finally moved, it wasn't to hide back under her sheets, but rather to inch closer to the side of the bed. She pursed her lips, though it was certain that she had a lot she wanted to say. But she started small. "So…it's not a mask?"
Tokoyami nodded gently, understanding that he had to be patient with these sorts of things. "It's much like what you'd expect from a crow you see outside, only it's just my head. Did you want to see for yourself?"
Eri wavered, as he figured she would, but she raised her hand and offered up a small nod. Tokoyami leaned forward to bring his head closer. She reached her hand out slowly, as though afraid that he might bite. Or worse yet, that her suspicions would be confirmed and he was just lying through his teeth. She finally did muster enough courage, and lightly touched the top of his beak.
She pulled her hand back sharply, and Tokoyami worried that he'd done something wrong. That he was somehow wrong. But when he cautiously looked back up, she was looking at her hand in wonder. "It's not metal or wood or anything like that?"
Tokoyami shifted uncomfortably. It wasn't often that he had to explain his avian appearance like this, let alone in such detail. He'd grown accustomed to having his physical traits be a point of mockery in the past and could brush off something like that quite easily. But a child's genuine interest was less commonplace. "It's real. Have you never touched a bird before?"
Her head shook from side to side. "Not a live one, no. Are your feathers like that, too?" She was appraising him with undeniable curiosity now, but he could tell that she was still restraining herself. Tokoyami scooted a few inches closer and bent his head down so that she could reach it easier. He couldn't see what she was doing now, and stiffened instinctively when he felt her small hand run through his feathers. It had been a while since he'd been touched by someone who, as far as he knew, didn't pose any danger. Similarly, Eri was enthralled by this new person. "You're really real? But it's so soft and warm…" she said, more to herself than anything.
Before Tokoyami could respond, the girl's hand wrapped around a feather and pulled sharply. He grunted in surprise as she freed a feather from his head, but tried not to react with any sharp movements that might scare her. He looked back up slowly.
Eri let out a tiny gasp, holding up the pitch black feather. Her body was rigid with horror, like she'd done something absolutely unforgiveable. "I-I'm so sorry, Mister! I just–! I didn't mean to break it!" Tokoyami was worried that she might start crying, but instead she hunched over like she was fine if she deserved to be punished for her actions.
Tokoyami had made a great effort to not show his emotions too much in the past, even more so while he was with the villains. He tried his best to keep his calm and prove himself in any way possible to demonstrate that he was a rational person. To assure that he was the one in control, even in this situation where it felt like it was seeping away from him at every new turn. Because if he wasn't that, if he didn't hold strong to this fleeting sense of self-assurance, he worried that Dark Shadow would pick up bad habits or try to manipulate him. Or that other people would prey upon the weaknesses he fought so hard to protect to little avail. But in that moment, his heart ached with sympathy, and he wanted nothing more than to calm the frayed nerves of this little girl.
"Everything's alright, you've done nothing wrong," Tokoyami soothed, his tone calm and gentle. "You didn't hurt me, I was just surprised. It was nothing bad, so you shouldn't feel bad."
But she was adamant that she had done something horribly out of line. "N-no, there's something wrong with it! It's broken and it's all my fault! Your feathers were all soft and pretty before I touched them. See!" She held up the feather for Tokoyami to inspect, her hand shaking.
Sure enough, the uppermost barbs of the feather was missing, and its shaft was brittle to the touch. Tokoyami stared at it in confusion before realizing what it was that had caused it. He reached his hand to his head, feeling the feathers to confirm his suspicions. Of course that's what it is. "You misunderstand; please don't take it to heart, you didn't cause this. My feathers were burned by someone I know, that's all." Sure enough, just like his clothes had become singed and his skin seared in the past by Dabi's practice spars, his feathers were similarly damaged as a result. It seemed more like an inevitability at this point.
But Eri still expressed that she was deeply troubled. "S-so that means that the bad people like to hurt you too?" She sounded so sad, like this was a worse alternative than her previous fears. She was so ready to accept the blame for herself because then something could be done about it. But if it was someone else, who held power over either one of them, then there was no way to be sure that it wouldn't happen again.
He found her words deeply troubling with the suggestion that pain was deeply rooted into her existence because of the kinds of people that surrounded her. The "bad people" could be anything, or perhaps as far as she was concerned it was actually everyone, and she no longer knew how to distinguish one from the other.
Tokoyami wasn't sure how to put her fears to rest. How was he to explain his situation in a way that wouldn't worry her? He couldn't even make the situation sound better for his own sake. But he figured he best start with what he was certain of. "It doesn't…hurt me. It's just part of something I needed to do to improve myself. It's like…if I get better at fighting fire with fire, then I can keep myself from getting burned as much." Tokoyami lightly touched the burn damage again, wondering how long it would be before new feathers grew in to replace them. "And this was caused by a villain, but I'm not sure if I would call him a bad person. In a strange way, he's looking out for my interests, even if I don't like where they take me. I just…" Tokoyami breathed a weary sigh. Dabi was just as much an anomaly to him. It was easy to forget that he was the evil one in all this when at times he could swear that Dabi was treating him like an equal in spite of everything. He didn't…dislike training under him. It had certainly been for the better, and never before had a person been willing to help him improve the way Dabi was. But he couldn't forget that those were just his orders. Regardless of how Tokoyami benefited from his strange relationship with the fire-user, the circumstances for it were still unsavory.
Tokoyami was broken from his troubled thinking when his scorched feather was presented back to him. Eri was giving it to him, guilty that she'd taken it in the first place. But also it felt like in a strange way she – this young girl in a situation that couldn't have been good for her – was taking pity on him. "It's okay if you don't know what to think. If you just bear with it, then everything will get better later on, right?" She waved the feather above his beak. "But you should take your feather back. Sorry I grabbed it from you…"
Tokoyami wanted to know the implication behind her words and how she was so ready with such a mature, albeit concerning, answer. But that feather she was offering him wasn't going to help him or anything, and she seemed much more concerned with that. He turned his head to the side and raised his palm to carefully push it back towards her. "Ah, w-well, why don't you hold onto it for me? It might mean more to you than it does to me. It may not be in the best shape, but it's not broken, regardless of how it got to be like that."
Eri looked down at the feather in fascinated silence. She regarded it in a different light, turning it around in her small hands and studying the burnt edges. She held it close, like it somehow meant more than all the toys littering her room, but her expression still read of sadness that he couldn't quite comprehend.
But then she looked back up from it. Still grasping the feather, she shifted backwards on her bed, scooting aside some of the blankets. With a bit more confidence, she patted the open space on the bed, inviting Tokoyami to join her.
He hesitated, surprised that she trusted him so quickly, but knew that he wouldn't want to refuse her offer. Tokoyami got up from the floor and sat up on the edge of her bed instead. She inched further into the center of the bed, and Tokoyami followed until he was sitting cross-legged facing her, his cloak splayed out around him. Given the circumstances, he had no reason to expect that Eri might be willing to open up to him. Even only knowing this child for a short time, he wanted to be the kind of person that those weaker than him could feel safe around. Especially since his record on that was not exactly the best. I don't want to keep things from this girl, but I bet if she knew the kind of destruction I was capable of she would have a good reason to fear me. And I can't stand the thought of that.
You can introduce me to her! Dark Shadow pleaded. I don't bite! Not the little kids, anyway.
The last thing I want to do is traumatize the poor thing. Bringing you out is farthest from what I want to do.
Before his quirk could complain, he turned his thoughts back to the outside, swiftly blocking out the disgruntled shadow. He noticed that Eri was looking at him with a peculiar expression from across the bed. If her intention was to gauge a better understanding of him, it didn't look like she was having much success. No matter how she viewed it, the person seated before her was an anomaly in this place.
She bit her lip in uncertainty and made like she wanted to say something before stopping herself.
Tokoyami stuck to his patience. "If you ever want me away from you, please don't hesitate to tell me so. I want you to speak your mind without worry," he encouraged gently.
She started, surprised by his words. She still was quite clearly on the frazzled side, so he didn't expect much. But when she set gently set aside the feather and turned back to face him, her expression had changed. No longer quite so sad, but something else.
"Y…you said you're a hero?"
Tokoyami felt his heart sink when he realized that he didn't know how to answer that. "I…don't know. I was supposed to be, but I'm afraid I haven't done anything to save the people who need it." Rather, I think I've only done the opposite. "I was a student in training, and I had certainly wanted to be a hero – "Tsukoyomi: The Jet Black Hero" was my hero name–" Eri looked at him questioningly, silently mouthing the words hero name. "It's… it's like a nickname for heroes to go by. But that didn't last as long as I'd expected it to. I doubt anyone out there considers me a hero, no matter what my ideals stand for. And now I'm here."
She was crestfallen, that much was easily discernable. But she was interested enough to where she pressed him further. "Even though you're not training, do you still want to do hero-y things?" she asked, almost pleading at this point.
Tokoyami's response came faster and with more certainty than anything he'd said before: "I will do everything within my power to prove that I can still be the kind of hero that people can rely on."
She laughed. It was small and weak, almost choking in her throat. But it was genuine. He thought that he saw a smile flash briefly, but it might've been a trick of the light. She wiped at her eyes with the backs of her hands, although that did little to conceal the fact that she had started to cry, much to Tokoyami's dismay. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear that," she said quietly. "I never knew that there were heroes out there, but now I know three in the same week. That's more than anything I've had before, and I-I'm sorry but that makes me happy."
For everything that sat in boxes around her, for all the people working under Overhaul that would certainly bend over backwards for her, the thing that she so desperately needed was kindness and those who could proudly declare that they were there for her. Tokoyami swallowed his flustered panic upon realizing the weight of his words and questioning if he could truly hold himself to them. "Don't be sorry for that. There's people out there that want you to be happy, who want you to not feel pain and live a carefree life."
Her eyes went wide in awe, as though she could barely fathom that idea, a far-off illusion. "Really? Who are they?"
"I, for one, if that means anything to you. And whoever that other hero you know is, I'm sure they would want the same."
Her gaze grew distant, like she was looking for someone far beyond her reach. "I did a bad thing yesterday," she admitted, starting slowly. "I found a chance and ran off on my own, even though I knew that Overhaul wouldn't be happy. And then there were these people in funny outfits, and they just had to be heroes so I ran up to them. One of them… he was so nice and welcoming that I didn't want to let go. For a moment, I felt safe." Her little voice cracked as she kept going. "B-but Overhaul would've killed them, and I really didn't want that to happen. I couldn't do that to them. S-hic-so I came back here with him. And I miss that feeling. And – and..!"
Tokoyami struggled to keep himself composed. But the least he could do was be resilient and listen calmly. It wouldn't help to reaffirm the tragedy of her situation, and he didn't know how to properly calm her down. So he waited while she stammered to a stop on her own before talking.
"Heroes are always putting themselves in danger because they're supposed to be strong. You're strong too, Eri, but heroes want to save you. I'll do what a can for you while I'm here. And I'm sure whoever your other heroes are, they want to make sure you're safe. We're the kind that can't afford to give up. Something tells me that you'll see those heroes again." Eri settled down, sniffling quietly, and Tokoyami gave it a moment before he asked the question that had been pressing at the back of his mind. "Do you think you could tell me what this hero looked like? I know the names of quite a few of them."
She relaxed, thinking of the memory of whoever had been the first to help her. "How could I forget? He was the only one to ever stand up to Overhaul for me. When I ran to him, he wanted to know what Overhaul was doing to me and held me tighter. They said they were still students, though, like you." She paused, clutching her little hands in determination. "But everything about him was so gentle! He had freckles and messy hair and the kindest face before his friend had to put on his bunny hood to hide it from Overhaul. He wasn't a pro, but he was my own Green Bunny hero!"
Tokoyami stiffened and his eyes went wide in shock. Eri must've noticed his response, because her excitement wavered nervously. "D-do you know him?"
Of course he did. A description so vague yet so undeniable. Somehow it felt like everything was going back to that student, like he was the hero struggling through his own story right now. Tokoyami wanted desperately to know what he had been doing when he'd found Eri, and if he had any idea what he was getting himself caught up in. Because he knew Midoriya, and knew that his old classmate was determined to find trouble wherever he went if it meant that he could save someone. But he couldn't shake the feeling that between Toga's intentions and Overhaul's cruelty, that Midoriya might find himself in a situation he won't be able to escape from unscathed. Regardless of his prior feats and experience with villains, and no matter how amazing his strength-enhancing quirk is… Tokoyami couldn't help but find himself wishing that Midoriya won't show up here.
But Eri was looking at him expectantly, waiting for an answer. He couldn't deny her that, not after everything he said before to reassure her.
"His hero name is Deku. He was my classmate in hero training. You're right to trust him, because I can't think of anyone with more will and generosity. I'm glad that your first contact with a hero was him. And I think I can speak on his behalf when I tell you that he wants to save you. I'm sure you'll see him again."
Eri looked like she was finally at peace. She was learning things that she had never even considered a possibility, and it was almost overwhelming. But she sat there, clutching her blankets with relief written all over her. She was still here, in the underground yakuza headquarters. That much hadn't changed. But the feeling of reassurance that had been given to her meant the world. It was clear to see that it was the strength she needed to keep going regardless of what was happening around her. And it was an indication that Tokoyami was now responsible for bearing her pain in whatever way he could so that she could get out of here. He hadn't expected to find himself here when he first left his room to search the facility, but he was happy if he could be here for someone who needed it.
"Eri, I don't know how long it'll be before you see your hero again, but until then I will be here in his stead. I don't have the power to act out as much as I could, but if there's anything I can do for you then I'll do my best."
The little girl sat closer to him, the closest he'd ever come to her and it was her own decision, rather than the unwelcome advances of yakuza coming into her space. She gently grabbed the hem of his cloak, feeling it through her fingers. "Thank you," she said, two simple words that solidified his new commitment to her. She was so close he could've reached out to touch her, but Tokoyami didn't want to betray this new trust. She was silent for some time, perhaps just enjoying his company. Then she looked up at him, and a new kind of faint happiness was present on her face. "You smell like apples," she murmured quietly, almost embarrassed.
Tokoyami tilted his head to the side and laughed in amusement. "I had one not too long ago; they're my favorite. Is that something you'd be interested in?"
Eri looked at him wide-eyed and nodded her head earnestly. "I also… like apples."
"Then I'll make sure to bring some for us the next time I come here."
She sat back in confusion, as though she still couldn't believe everything that was happening. "The next time…?"
The door to the room rattled alarmingly, making Tokoyami stand up off the bed quickly and inadvertently ripping his cloak from the hands of the little girl. He looked over at Eri to make sure she was alright, but her face was trained downwards and had become a stony mask hiding her emotions. But he could see the way her fists were clenched, as though wishing they had something comforting to hold onto, and Tokoyami felt a moment of remorse that he had stepped away so soon. That thought vanished just as quickly when the door opened to a troubling sight.
"You left her alone with who?" came the voice, cold and dripping with malice. "I didn't peg you as the sort to neglect your duties so quickly, especially after I made an example of the last one. Maybe you're not cut out for this position after all."
The mediator stepped into the room, palms raised to the people in the hallway as though that might make any difference in calming them. "Now, now, I didn't mean any harm from it, I just thought they might get along! See, everything's fine! No need to worry–!"
Overhaul loomed in the doorway, his slender frame blocking out the light from the halls. His amber eyes glinted dangerously, but that quickly turned to sparked interest when they fixated on Tokoyami standing in the shadows of the room. "Oh. So it was you after all." He took a moment to think, a moment that left everyone with baited breath as they waited nervously for what he had to say. "Yes. I suppose that's fine. I'm surprised this happened so quickly, though. You certainly waste no time in finding trouble, young Tokoyami. How annoying."
Chronostasis poked his beak into the room. "Boss, is everything all right?"
He waved his assistant aside. "I'm going to put Eri's appointment off for a while. An interesting opportunity has presented itself. I find it a bit irksome that I have to rearrange today's schedule, but I suppose this much was inevitable." He brought his attention back to the inside of the room. "Tokoyami, I'm going to have to ask you to step away from that girl. It's not safe." That sounded like a threat more than anything, but Tokoyami hesitated, glancing over to where Eri hadn't budged. Overhaul crossed his arms, rapping his gloved fingers impatiently on his coat. "I'd strongly advise against keeping me waiting. Come, why don't we take a walk?"