Killua, Daniel and Alluka plan out their trip to see Ashton Nieves.
Iason and Sakura talk a little bit about the former's past, history.
A\N: I'll be posting the last chapter next week as December is where I start to get busy at work. There is a third part, but that's about Killua, Alluka and Daniel… so you won't be left on a weird cliff-hanger.
The boys had a goal in mind, where this trip was about to lead them, was a person who could hopefully help Alluka. Maybe not directly, but at least offer advice on a path she could take.
Killua surfed through the channels, trying to find something he could put as background noise. Most of the channels are covering the news on Senator Kevin Goldwin's death, a murder. But that was hardly something he wanted to be listening to.
He eventually found a channel showing cartoons, which was better than nothing.
Placing the controller down, he made his way back to the dining table, finding his partner and Alluka already conversing. His sister looked scared, not so much about meeting Aston, but rather the prospect of knowing whether she was being true to herself.
"No matter how you turn out in the end, your brother and I will continue to love you."
"I know… I know…" Alluka paused for a second, thinking about what to say, "What if she says I'm not trans, but rather I something else."
Killua stepped in, "I don't think she's just going to start throwing labels at you or start diagnosing your identity. She may come up with an idea on what your gender could be… but I feel as though she may only offer advice, maybe even stories that you could identify with…"
"I guess…"
"Either way…" Killua hugged his sister close, "at the end of the day, like Daniel said, I'm going to continue loving you. You're precious to me…"
Daniel smiled when he watched his boyfriend's sister melt into his arms, holding him close as though he were an anchor in her life. The boy decided to add something, "No matter how it turns out, I agree with Killua. You are your own person. We'll love you no matter what…"
"Thank you…" The girl muttered under her breath.
"Also, while we're there… we should probe her for any information that could help you, Alluka. I may have questions, but yours are far more important."
"Yes…" Killua agreed with a reflective smile. While it's true his sister's happiness is important here, they can't completely leave out Daniel from the conversation. Aston would have important information about the man, "However, we can't completely leave you out of the conversation, Daniel. She has a direct link to Vastorie; finding more about him, no matter how much more it makes your father sound like a repulsive dick, we need to gather that knowledge as well."
"Or worst-case scenario…" Daniel interjected, "Make him sound like an indefectible godlike being…"
"He's imperfect at best…" Killua countered, "No matter how everyone portrays him, he has some major flaws that even they are just discovering."
"Right…"
Killua changed topics, "Let's figure things out for the moment. We have new weapons, which we'll need to practice with, including each other once we get the hang of it. We also have to approach Ashton with legitimate questions not only for Alluka…" The girl gave a nod, Killua once more continuing "We also need to come up with tactical questions about Vastorie. She's going to most likely be a busy woman, so we shouldn't waste time with meaningless questions about your father…"
Daniel gave a nod "Right…"
"Is there anything you want to specifically ask her Alluka?"
"I'm… not sure what to ask?" Alluka gave her brother a weak smile, "I don't know what I should be asking."
Daniel held out a finger, "Maybe something specifically directed to Ashton? It could open your mind to new ideas and questions… to, you know… help you figure things out about yourself."
"Well… when you were figuring out your feelings for big brother, what were some questions you had for yourself…"
As Daniel was about to answer, Alluka added a more loaded question to the mix, "What question, do you wish you could've asked my brother, instead of pondering the question by yourself?"
Daniel looked at his partner, finding only Killua's questioning gaze being directed back at him. What is a question I asked myself… that I wish I could've Killua back then… the boy pondered the question further, "Besides is he emotionally available to date or… you know… gay?"
Killua snorted, "Talk about a loaded question… Emotionally, no. Most definitely not during that time. Could I have argued I was, in fact, attracted to dudes… maybe not? I might have come close to saying I've had a crush on a certain spikey hair fellow, but I would've never guessed it was a crush or attraction. At least… not back then…"
Killua paused, pressing a finger to his chin, "Now, could I say I'm completely gay, probably… but then again, every single girl I've met, besides my sister, has made me want to strangle them… certainly."
"What about Canary?"
"What about her…?"
"Do you find her attractive?"
"As in, if I was given the chance to date an unemotional, butler whose sole purpose is to stop people from crossing a barrier, would I go for it… probably not."
"Well… if you put it that way, most likely not."
"If she was… let's say more like you, as in shows emotions… can't say. I've never been in such a position. So, it's hard to argue for or against the idea."
"What about…" Daniel stopped himself, "Huh… we haven't met many girls our age."
"Besides Clarisa or Madelyn?" Killua interjected.
"Well Madelyn, definitely not…" Daniel surmised, "Maybe Clarisa if she wasn't attracted to Madelyn."
Killua thought about it, his finger constantly tapping against the table, "I guess so. I dunno…" The boy paused, thinking about the situation further, "I guess I could say she is attractive, in a sense… but I don't get that gut feeling like I did with Gon or yourself, but then again, I was and still am dating you when we met her."
"Then…" Daniel pressed a finger to the table, "God forbid, but we broke up and Clarisa wasn't into Madelyn. How about then?"
"I can't say…" Killua frowned, "I never thought about the possibility of dumping you for a girl."
"I'm talking hypothetically."
Killua sighed in frustration "Fine… probably not. I don't think I could be attracted to her. If romantic feelings are an option, I could probably be swayed. But physically… no. I have a specific type, that I rather not get into right now."
"I could probably guess it…" When his partner raised an eyebrow, Daniel leaned in closer, lips almost touching the boy's ears. He whispered the answer "Willing to put out in the bedroom, topping, bottoming and all that fun stuff to you…"
Killua cheeks were tinted when his partner pulled back to smile at him. You… suave bastard… "Sure, you'd be correct."
Alluka pouted, however, neither boy would repeat what was shared between silent whispers.
Daniel posed another question, "There was another question I wish I could've asked though. I know back then, you'd rather it was just you and Gon, with me out of the picture, back then… but was there a moment you looked at me and thought something else."
"Something else…?"
"A type of friendship… let's not think on romantic grounds. Before you got to know me, did you wish you could've gotten closer to me?"
"At the start…?" Killua thought about the Hunter's Exam, wondering if there was a moment his thoughts shifted. Heaven's Arena, sure. Hell, he fought Yannick to give up on his possessive feelings for Daniel. But the exam… he couldn't remember. There was one moment "I may have had a thought or two, but nothing in cement. I think closer to the 3rd stage, I wanted to get to know you more. But at the start, I wasn't as interested, as I was in Gon. Here he was… taking a test where people died, and he was excited every step of the way."
"That's fair…"
The two now turned to Alluka, Killua speaking on the behalf of his partner and himself "Could you think of anything…? At least using our examples?"
"Yeah… one…" Alluka fell silent, taking a moment to muster her courage to speak on the matter "What's something she wishes she knew before she discovered about herself. Like a hint on her being, who she figured out she was?"
Daniel gave a nod, "That sounds good… another you could ask if this were more directed at her. What is something that she wished she had before she came to terms with reality?"
Killua smiled, "That's a good question for gathering more information, if I were to add a stipulation, I would say… What's something she wished she had at the beginning before she came to terms with reality."
Daniel's expression widened, "What's something you wished you knew before we started dating?"
"Besides the physical aspect…? As cheesy as this sounds, what does romantic love look like… I mean…" Killua rolled his wrist, "Let's be honest, we didn't grow up with the type of parents that expressed love at least when it comes to the stereotypical lovey-dovey kind of feelings. But I wish I knew about that aspect before we started dating. It'll have helped guide my feelings before we started dating."
Alluka spoke openly, without realising she had stated her internal feelings louder than she intended "Can I learn to love myself for who I am before I become what should feel natural to me?"
Killua answered the question calmly, "Yes…" His sister looked at him with widened eyes, "The answer is yes. Whether you're Trans, Gay, Bi, or even Straight, or a combination of the ones listed… let alone, the other labels we may discover on our journey. You can learn to love yourself… Your self-worth isn't assigned to your label. It's assigned by you, for you…"
Moving closer, he held his sister closer, hugging her tightly in his arms "I will continue to love you, regardless if you're a guy who likes to wear cute dresses or your Trans. You'll forever be the sibling I love; regardless of whether you decide later down the track, you don't want to be my sister, but rather my brother. Sure, our family would turn around and say they told us so, but at the end of the day, it's you who should feel comfortable with yourself, not them."
The boy heard his sister start to so quietly, but he chose to say nothing, allowing his sister to let the words sink in.
No matter who Alluka identifies as at the end of the day, he'll love them.
"~"
Sakura swayed when the cruised rocked on the heavy waves. He was about to take another step, but another wave sent him stumbling. Iason caught his boyfriend, waiting for the motions to subside.
"Thank you…" Sakura quietly whispers as the other, offers a quiet nod in acknowledgement.
"It's okay, we have heavier waves than usual today. Gon's distinct sense of smell did warn us…"
"Yeah…" With a moment of calmness, Sakura sat at the edge of the bed, waiting for the rocking to stop, "Where is Gon?"
"He headed up to the higher deck, to see if he could help out. How are you holding up? No seasickness? It tends to happen when a boat rocks too much." The boy pauses for a moment, deciding to add on to the end of his stamen, "It's certainly rocking more than usual. I wouldn't be surprised if Gon comes down drenched because there's a storm happening in the vicinity."
The boy felt himself blush for a moment, "I rambled…"
"It's fine…" Sakura offered his partner a sweet smile, "I'm fine… I've been on a few boats with my dad. I got sick a few times when I was younger. Not so much now, how about you?"
"I…" Iason found himself falling silent, a feeling of needing to admit the truth reverberating in his heart. He wanted to admit some of the truth, to tell a piece of his history, but a part of him was unable to.
Sakura as if sensing his partner's troubling internal struggles spoke up, "If it's something you're not ready to say, you don't have to say it. When you're ready… you can talk about it. How about we change topics instead?"
Iason melted at the words, that tightening restriction in the pits of his stomach unravelling at the confession. He can communicate these thoughts; Sakura was one of the reasons he felt he was able to.
He wasn't expected to reveal everything about himself…
He could take it slow until he was ready to talk about them "It's…" Iason took a deep breath, "No, I can talk about it… it just hurts to remember it."
Sakura got up, moving over to hug his partner, but the boat rocking sent him stumbling over into his partner. If Gon were to walk in right now, he'd probably assume they were about to have fun without him.
His hands were pressed into the mattress, one near each side of Iason's head. He was embarrassed about the situation, especially with his body hunched over his partner as though he was about to mount the boy.
He could see the sly smirk, but the eyes told him something completely different. He was concerned about him.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah…" Sakura moved closer, now hugging his boyfriend, "But you can wipe that smirk off your face. I know what you were going to say, if it weren't for the fact, I stumbled towards you."
"Sorry…" Iason brought one hand to the back of his partner's head, stroking the hair as the other ran up and down Sakura's back in a lazy pattern, "As long as you're fine."
"I am… But I'm supposed to be hugging you, not the other way around."
"Well, to be fair… we are hugging each other." Iason retorted with a small smile, "But… before that fiasco, I did want to speak a bit about my past…" Sakura gave a nod, now snuggling closer to his partner, his head resting on his partner's chest as though it were a pillow.
Iason continued "You remember how Gon took me on a date, just the two of us. Well, one of the things we did was fishing… I feel bad now because I pretended as though I knew nothing about fishing. The fact is… I knew a lot more…"
The boy found himself swallowing thickly, "My father was a fisherman… I learnt a few tricks from him. Location, timing, the best bait to use, the general things mainly. The kind that Gon was going over, almost verbatim."
Thinking about it, from what he could remember the words were almost similar. It was only that the style of teaching was completely different to how his dad and even Kaiba taught him.
Gon was much more hands-on, with his partner's explorative fingers charting his body through his clothing.
Back then, that sensation was turning him on. He was thankful for not ravaging Gon's body back then and there. However, those thoughts mainly didn't matter to this story. What mattered, was the rest of what he had to say "I was much younger when I lost them. I… I could hear…" He stopped himself, the memory of relieving the moment over again stopping him from discussing that moment further "I miss them… I miss my parents…"
His breath shuddered, trembling as he sobbed quietly, "I can't even remember what they look like… I just wish I could find a photo of them. He…"
The boy shook his head. No, he wasn't ready to talk about Kaiba yet, or at least… he didn't feel ready to mention that man's name.
It was a sore topic, due to him not only running away from the man when he wouldn't listen to him. It was a moment he wished he hadn't run away… he wished he stayed back to argue his case further.
Who knows where that man is now…?
Is he out there looking for him? Had he forgotten about him?
Sakura kiss his partner on the cheek, "We care about you. If… if we, well… let's be honest here. If Gon was swayed to pursue this information, he'd travel to the ends of the earth for you, not just because he's stubborn like that… he'd want to make you happy. Although, I'd try to help him too if given the chance. In any case, if we could find a picture of your parents… would it help you?"
Iason's eyes glistened, forcing his partner closer into a tighter hug. Sakura knows how to make him feel loved and wanted. If the two of them could help him find a photo of his parents, it'll mean the whole world to him. It'll not only be a memory he'll get to cherish, but the photograph will be a reminder of what his parents used to look like "Yes… it'd make me so happy. Even though I know I won't be able to visit them again, at least I'll have something to remember them by. Thank you… Thank you so much…"
Sakura giggled lightly, "You're supposed to thank us after we find it, but I know what you mean. I'm glad to hear this part of your history, no matter how brief it is."
Iason turned his head, now leaning into his partner's lips. The two shared a kiss, the sweet and tender kind. He wanted to show how much he appreciated his partner, how much he loved him for not only listening but providing a bit of hope, no matter how slim it was.
The boy pulled back a little, appreciating his slightly smaller, blushing boyfriend "I love you…"
Sakura melted at the confession, "I love you too… my teddy bear."
Iason let out a sarcastic groan from the 'pet' name, not expecting it to at all come out of Sakura's mouth. However, it did make him feel warm and fuzzy on the inside because it's a pet name Gon came up with. But his wasn't the only 'pet' name, their boyfriend came up with "Me too, my little flower…"
Sakura's expression weakened "Don't let our Sunshine hear you saying that…"
The two bursts into laughter, each cherishing the moment of sincerity.
Iason will always come to appreciate this side of Sakura, as much as he appreciates Gon's ability to drive his libido over the edge.
When the two were able to calm down, he held his partner close as they continued their previous kiss. Iason scooted them up the mattress wanting the two of them to be more comfortable than hanging their legs over the edge of the bed frame.
Even if Gon were to kick the door down and cry about feeling left out, what he felt on the inside couldn't be ruined.
The two people he loves in the world would be willing to help him, no matter how impossible the job would be. As much as he wanted evidence of his parent's existence, a photo… even a birth certificate at this point, the kind of place they lived in, would've erased their existence the moment they planned to defect.
But seeing the genuineness ladened in Sakura's expression, including, the personality Gon harbours, he feels like he has a chance.
Once Sakura repeats to Gon everything he told him, he'll see their boyfriend's eyes light up with not only excitement, but a challenge he'll want to pursue…
The only thing is Iason only wants to start looking once he achieved his original goal… to help recover Gon's Nen back.