"Kazuha, are you perhaps a virgin?"
The question caught Kazuha so off guard that he nearly choked when the miniature Miko asked him atop his shoulder.
"Why would you ask that?" Kazuha asked with a wry smile, having had no build up to be able to take such a question.
"Well, you don't seem to be particularly close to any girls despite how many you know. I don't believe you've shown any particular signs of having a sex drive either. Are you perhaps not interested?" She held a finger to her lip in thought, recalling the month they had spent together thus far.
"I don't believe me keeping a respectful distance is a sign of me having no experience in intercourse, though…" Kazuha murmured.
"You looked like you were struggling to even hold Keqing's hand earlier." Miko tutted, smacking him atop the head.
"There's a really good reason for that and I think it's your world's fault." Kazuha gave an accusatory tone towards her, getting her to raise an eyebrow.
"What do you mean?" She asked, unaware of what had happened.
Kazuha brought up the second vision he had gained from where Miko had originated, it glowed faintly against the sun, but did nothing more as Miko's eyes fell upon it.
"I believe this wasn't just some random vision that came to me at the last moments of the battle. I believe this is the me from that time's vision."
"Huh? Now how would that even happen?" Miko was skeptical, but Kazuha continued.
"I was told that the me in that other time had gotten married already and it's unlikely that I'd just receive anyone's vision, especially for it to conveniently be anemo. Looking at the information at hand, I think it's safe to assume that this vision is simply my own from another time."
"I don't get how that…" Miko made a hard thinking face, looking rather cute as she tried to get where he was coming from.
"It seemed that the mere act of trying to get intimate on any level triggers this little thing and the other me's loyalty to his wife shines through. I believe this little friend believes that i'm the same Kazuha as the one from that time…" Kazuha chuckled slightly as he dangled the small trinket of power in front of him.
"D-does that mean you can only be in a relationship with the same wife as the other you got married to?" Rosalyn asked, having been listening in on the conversation and was now looking somewhat worried.
"Hm? Of course not. In the end, visions are mysterious forces of powers that I believe that even Ei doesn't quite understand from what she has told me. To be strung along and forced to the whims of my own power is unbecoming, so i'll simply have to override the past me's influence over it." Kazuha gave a relaxed smile, treating the situation as if it was like a small errand he'd attend to eventually.
"Sorry, Kazuha! The report took a lot longer to send in, despite there not being much to report on. I did my best to come back as fast as I could though!" Keqing panted as she took a moment to breathe, having seemingly been frantic for the past hour.
"There's no problem. Take your time. We're in no rush for anything and I don't believe I need to rush to see my captain to begin with." Kazuha held his hands up to reassure the heaving girl, who looked thankful for the understanding.
"Fuaa. Things have been so busy ever since Rex Lapis' death…" She lamented as Kazuha patted her back reassuringly.
"How long do you plan on working like this, Keqing? If you spend all your time working now, by the time you're allowed to rest, you won't have anything to look back on or it'll be too late." Kazuha asked, always curious about those who chose to take upon so much work for themselves as opposed to those who were born into it like his friend Kokomi.
"What kind of question is that? How could I ever rest if the land I live in isn't the best that I can make it?" Keqing blinked as if it was obvious.
It was a rather clashing of ideals as Kazuha saw it best to enjoy the world as a whole while Keqing would rather make her homeland the best in the world.
Admirable was the least he could say for it as Kazuha could only hope that he had the level of dedication she had for when he would have to play his part in Inazuma.
"I'm simply wondering what it'd take for The Yuheng to settle down." The smile that the ronin gave was one that one couldn't help but get irritable at yet find themselves flustered from it at the same time.
The double meaning behind his words were not lost upon the lady as she turned red, looking away in a fluster.
"I-i'll slow down when the time calls for it. Right now there's too much work that needs to be done." She stammered, avoiding the double entendre side of his statement.
"Well, no matter. I believe we should go see my captain now before she begins drinking." He suggested, getting his companion to follow.
Zhongli
Zhongli was nervously biting his nails as he tried to keep himself calm over the situation he was witnessing.
He had been making sure that Kazuha had been safe for his time in Liyue and it seemed like this boy had a death wish!
He already had the eyes of an Electro wielder on him and now he was getting rather intimate with another?
The fool! Does he not know?
Visions take after the archons they originated from and it was telling that most wielders exhibited traits of their respective elements gods.
The former Geo Archon recalled Makoto and how obsessive she could get to the point of concern. While Ei is the current Electro Archon, it was still telling that the Electro Visions being gifted to others still were under Makoto's personality preference.
And right now Kazuha was in the midst of two Electro vision wielders.
"Oh dear - Doth my eyes deceiveth me or doth dusk descendeth dithery?" Zhongli's boss appeared behind him once more, snapping him out of his train of thought. "Normally the sun wouldn't set at such an early hour. You must be relieved with how gloomy you've been lately~"
Hu Tao let loose with her poetry, having been rather engrossed in it after Kazuha revealed his own affinity for it.
"Director… I'm just caught up in my own thoughts with how things have been lately…" Zhongli kept himself looking stoic, not wanting to reveal his own worries.
"Ah, nevermind. It was just your mood casting an especially long shadow. Things have been wonderful around here, yet you sit there like a statue!" She slapped his back, trying to get him to feel more energetic.
"Director, how do you truly feel about that Kaedehara boy?" Zhongli asked, not wanting for there to be any miscommunication. "Don't you believe you've really fallen too fast?"
"Hm? Why are you suddenly asking that now?" Hu Tao asked, not seeming offended in the slightest. "It's been a month and you're only now questioning it?"
"I had my own reasons, but I just think you've gotten too into someone you barely know." He tried to sound reasonable, like a wizened elder who was trying to impart life experience onto their grandchildren, but Hu Tao merely laughed.
"I have no worries, because I've already been told that we're a perfect match~!" Hu Tao chirped with a wide smile.
"Told…? By who?" Zhongli asked, finding it strange that his boss was listening to someone on relationship advice.
The Funeral Parlor suddenly seemed to become dimmer as Hu Tao's smile widened unnaturally, causing Zhongli to somewhat sweat despite his former status as an archon. The temperature of the room grew colder, but there was no sign of danger coming from the Director, merely a feeling of unease as her face illuminated in what little lighting was managing to break through the murky darkness.
"Why the voices of those long departed of course~!" Hu Tao answered, her eyes seemingly glowing as they flickered. "We can't see them, but their voices still remain in this world and they know things that almost no one in the realms of the living even know. Grandfather always spoke about them, but I didn't hear them until I became the Director."
Her eyes closed as the atmosphere suddenly dissipated, the small girl looking up at Zhongli.
"Something will happen soon and it'll serve as a catalyst for something dire in the future. I don't really know what, but the whispers say that Kazuha and I are integral towards it."
Like that, she turned around, not sparing him another look and trotted off, humming another tune to herself.
Zhongli could only watch her leave as his mind raced. It wasn't unheard of about people who could hear from certain sources of the world that no others can. From the wind to rocks to the seas, it wasn't impossible for Hu Tao to be able to listen to the lingering voices of the deceased, but what she said was what was most disturbing.
Something was going to happen and it was important enough for those long dead to inform Hu Tao of.
The Crux Fleet
"Kazuha! It's been so long! You don't come out to visit us anymore!" Beidou called, having noticed him in the midst of her unloading cargo.
"Apologies, Captain. I've been incredibly busy with all the work with Lady Ningguang…" Kazuha apologized, bowing his head towards the woman he considered his superior.
"Didn't I tell you that you don't have to call me that anymore? You'll be leaving soon to be some fancy fella and it wouldn't look good if you kept treating me like I'm still your captain." She huffed.
"No matter who I am or where I end up, you'll always be my captain, Beidou." Kazuha responded with his usual smile.
She immediately pinched his cheek, tugging on it as she glowered. "Still got a flowery mouth, huh? You better be careful with a tongue like that unless you're trying to be a player."
"C-captain… please…!" Kazuha moved back to release himself from her grasp before holding his cheek, before Beidou noticed Keqing who was watching the interaction with a surprised expression.
"Hah? You brought a girl with you? Did he get you with some sweet words?" The Captain asked with a sly smile, causing Keqing to turn red, before remembering she had an image to uphold.
"Good morning, Captain Beidou. I'm merely here on patrol with Kazuha." She managed to completely regain her usual composure before speaking stoically and with dignity.
"Is that so? You're dressed awfully nice for someone simply on patrol."
"I apologize that my attire is of a higher quality than you're used to. I assure you, that this is simply the standard of how we of the Liyue Qixing dress."
"Aw, I guess you aren't special enough yet to get the attention of someone so high class, Kazuha, but don't worry, you can still drink with me for as long as you're single!" The taller lady laughed, raising her flask up towards her drinking partner who responded by raising his own.
"Of course, Captain." The fellow enjoyer of alcohol wholeheartedly agreed.
"I-I can drink too!" Keqing tried to protest before she restrained herself, reminding herself there's a reason she never did. "Ugh…"
"Mm? You can? Then why don't we have a nice one together once everything's over. I'll ask Lady Ningguang for a single day off to have a send off before I go." Kazuha suggested.
"Before you go…?" Keqing repeated with a frown before immediately giving a smile. "Of course, that'd be great."
"Bah, enough of that. Come on, Kazuha! Kokomi gave us another huge shipment for us to drink as thanks, so let's fully catch up!" Beidou wrapped her arms around the samurai who could only chuckle.
"Of course, we have quite a bit of time, it'd be best to enjoy ourselves while we can…"
"Oh! Liben's here too! Wanted to look for you for some business transactions or something?" Beidou then called out to someone behind the boxes.
"Hey, Shifty! Kazuha's here, like I said."
Suddenly a tall man wearing shades with his hair done into a pompadour popped up from behind the crates, surprising the two of them.
"Master Kaedehara! I knew I'd find you if I followed your boss like this!" He exclaimed, walking towards them with his arms spread out.
"Ah, Liben, it's been quite a while. I take it that things have been going well back in Inazuma?" Kazuha greeted his business partner, holding out his hand to be shaken.
"Of course! Thanks to that pink friend of yours is a genius! I don't know how she does it, but we've managed to sell everything right away everytime!" The older man laughed heartily as he joined the trio, before noticing Keqing.
"Gah! The Yuheng!" He immediately backpedaled out of what seemed like fear, causing Keqing to look confused.
"Is there something wrong, Liben?" Kazuha asked, perplexed at his behavior.
"W-well, I didn't expect you to be so close to someone from the Liyue Qixing… I've had a rather bad experience in regards to Lady Ningguang, you see…" He held up his hands in a defensive pose.
"Oh? Why is that?" Keqing asked, crossing her arms and already giving him a suspicious gaze.
"N-nothing I haven't already paid for! I swear! I'm clean now!" Liben prostrated himself in front of her fervently, doing his best to earn her good will.
"Ah, you tried to play the market. I remember now." Kazuha recalled the story Liben had told him about how he had tried to make an exorbitant amount of money through rather underhanded means.
"I'm still paying off the debt! I won't do anything like that again! I am a changed man, I swear!" He insisted, but Keqing had already lost interest, waving her hand.
"Don't worry. I don't have any knowledge of whatever you and Ningguang had. I don't know of you, so it's likely that even she didn't take anything too personally, lest you'd appear in one of our meetings or show up in reports."
"Oh! Phew. I'm glad. I've been doing so well, it'd be heartbreaking for it to end for something i've atoned for." Liben wiped the sweat from his face.
"What did you need me for anyways, Liben?" Kazuha reinserted himself back into the conversation, wondering what business he had with him if everything with Yanfei was seemingly going well.
"Well, I came back here around a week ago and I thought I could recreate the success I had in Inazuma with how popular Ms. Hina merchandise was." He began to explain and Kazuha could already tell something was wrong.
"What did you do…?" Kazuha asked, feeling a sense of dread.
"So I realized I didn't have enough time to have every figurine, poster, artbook and many other things to be made, so I thought that it'd be best to pool all my money to make one very expensive purchase that can be sold for a massive amount of profit!"
Kazuha face palmed, looking exasperated as Keqing could only tilt her head in confusion. Beidou on the other hand was laughing out loudly.
"You spent all of your money for one thing and let me guess, Ms. Hina isn't popular outside of Inazuma, is it?" Kazuha deduced and Liben could only lower his head in shame.
"I'm sorry, but who is Ms. Hina?" Keqing asked, her arms crossed as she had been following along.
"She's a popular figure in Inazuma who gives life advice in a section of Yae Publishing houses magazines!" Liben answered with a proud smile. "I made quite a lot of money selling merchandise of her in Inazuma, with licensing rights from Lady Yae Miko herself of course."
"Ohhh, I completely forgot about Ms. Hina! I never did get Gorou to dress up as her, unfortunately, how truly lamentable…" Mini Miko spoke up, having been keeping a keen interest in the conversation.
"What exactly did you commission?" Kazuha asked with a raised eyebrow, wondering what exactly he could have bought.
"I bought a life sized, fully automated, fully functional and completely accurate down to every detail described in the "Fun Facts about Ms. Hina" section of the magazine doll of Ms. Hina!" Liben declared proudly, having his hands on his hips as he proudly declared it.
"Yeah, let me tell you, Kujou Sara nearly arrested him, thinking he was human trafficking…" Beidou shook her head, looking amused yet embarrassed for the man.
"Why didn't you sell it in Inazuma?" Keqing asked, to which the man simply shrugged.
"All the fans of Ms. Hina was already broke from buying everything I've sold before. So I thought i'd come to Liyue where there are other people with hopefully fuller wallets." He explained, not trying to hide the business side of him.
"Yes, but Inazuma was completely on lock down until recently. There's no way Ms. Hina would be able to become as popular across seas. Not to mention Inazuma has a very niche selection of what they like. I believe things that are unpopular in Liyue tend to become extremely popular in Inazuma after all…" Kazuha sighed, shaking his head over the situation.
"Ah, but Young Master Kaedehara! If I don't buy this now, I'll never be able to pay off the money I owe!" Liben pleaded for his assistance, but Kazuha didn't know what to do.
"First, let's just see the doll first." Kazuha decided, getting a big smile from the man who immediately ran back to go get it.
"You have strange acquaintances, Kazuha…" Keqing murmured, to which Kazuha could only shrug. "He's a nice guy and he's worked pretty well with Yanfei considering I haven't heard of any issues."
"I also wasn't aware you had business partners, you never brought it up."
"I had no reason to. I wasn't planning on making any partnerships outside of Inazuma until I establish a strong enough foothold."
"Well, if you ever wish to open your doors to us, I'd be more than willing to try and assist you in you with all you've done to help us." Keqing gave him a smile befitting one of a professional, before Liben returned, grunting and heaving as he pushed a large crate towards them.
"Got her!" He called out between heavy pants.
The box wasn't too large, being just a bit shorter than Kazuha while being just wide enough for Keqing to step inside if she wanted to.
Now that he thought about it, if Ms. Hina was based off of Gorou, it'd make sense that she'd be about his size and when Liben opened it, he could fully see why it had been such an exuberant purchase.
Miss Hina was a rather well endowed lady wearing a green dress that hugged her curves rather tightly in some areas while being loose in others. She had ears reminiscent to the general she was based off on and if Kazuha were to be told that this was a real living being, he wouldn't have doubted it one bit.
"Wow. It looks extremely well crafted, but how much could you possibly spend? It's a lovely doll, but even one purchase of this shouldn't be too heavy of a financial blow." Keqing analyzed, looking over the doll.
"Ugh, gives me the creeps…" Beidou gave a disapproving look while Liben began to explain.
"This doll is not just some lifeless creation. Aside from her looks, she was handcrafted by many different blacksmiths each specializing in one aspect as well as having the potential to even talk and adapt like a human. The only issue is that the technology needed to create what's needed for her to function on her own is… sort of what I had to leave out in terms of the budget."
"Huh? You were expecting for this to be able to act like a human being?" Kazuha blinked, looking at him with a surprised look.
"Of course! Imagine how much I spent, but imagine how much I'd have made in return!" The shaded man laughed at the idea, before frowning. "But no one's buying it and the debt I have is on a time limit."
"Well, I can't think of a way to sell this if people simply don't have money or don't care." Kazuha began before Mini Miko piped up.
"Hey, Kazuha, buy this right now." She ordered, getting him to look towards her as if she was crazy.
"Don't give me that look. I don't know who made this, but it's similar to The Raiden Shogun. While it's rather amateurish and can't compare, it at the very least has every functionality of being a human." She explained, but Kazuha still couldn't get what she was getting at.
"I could maybe use this as a vessel so I don't have to follow you around everywhere." She finished and Kazuha finally understood.
"Ahem. Liben. Exactly how much would it cost for me to buy this?" Kazuha asked, getting a surprised reaction from both Beidou and Keqing.
"Hoho, I see you, Young Master. I guess I should've suspected as much. Even with all those women around you, nobles cannot be satiated easily, hmm?" Liben gave him a rather suggestive smile as he nudged him.
"Please don't say unnecessary things. I'm trying to help you right now." Kazuha warned, to which Liben nodded before answering.
"Well, if you were to buy it, I wouldn't have to worry about the debt, since I simply owe Miss Yanfei. If you were to buy it, then I technically wouldn't have spent any of your money." Liben answered.
"Huh? How do you owe me money?" Kazuha asked.
"I don't specifically owe you money, but Miss Yanfei. However, you're her boss, so I technically just owe you money. She has a contract however, Liyue one of course, and I don't want the interest to rack up. It's already quite high." Liben corrected.
"Uhuh, well I don't believe it'll hurt too much, so I believe we can count this as a transaction. WIll that be okay with you?"
"Of course! You can take it right away!" Liben agreed immediately, shoving the box as hard as possible towards Kazuha with a heave, before smiling brightly. "Thank you, Master Kaedehara, I hope you know you're my favorite person to work with in all of Teyvat besides maybe the Traveler."
"Haha, this is beneficial to both of us, so don't worry too much about it." Kazuha waved his hands dismissively to which he nodded happily.
"Ah, if you want to reach out to someone who could possibly create what's needed for this to be able to properly function…" Liben began, but Kazuha shook his head.
"Don't worry. I already know how." Kazuha cut him off.
"Oh, you'll have to introduce me to them sometime then. I'd hate to have to go to Snezhnaya for anything."
Kazuha looked over the doll with Mini Miko, ignoring the strange stares he was getting from his captain and Keqing.
He'll have to explain it all later since right now…
He had needed Mini Miko to be able to separate from him so they could all finally have some levels of privacy.
Beidou
Beidou, the Uncrowned Ruler of the Sea, as she was named by many who heard of the stories involving her exploits, was never one to care for what others think or what others had.
She had grown up with almost nothing and built herself up to where she was now as a captain of the greatest fleet in Teyvat to the point where there were songs made detailing her exploits. She wasn't the type to brag and she hardly cared for the fame, but she was proud of how far she had made it.
Right now, however, she was trying to make sense of what one of her subordinates had done.
"Fuwaaaa~! It feels so good to be able to move this freely! I can feel myself fully now~!" Miss Hina stretched out her body, despite there unlikely being any biological parts of hers that would need to be stretched out.
"Slow down, ahem, "Miss Hina", you're drawing attention…" Kazuha tried to prevent the buxom lady from making any more noises or getting into any more provocative poses.
"Nya~! What's wrong with that~? Isn't my whole appearance made on being super cute~?" She teased, bringing up both her hands into a paw like gesture, mimicking a cat.
"I believe you're supposed to have dog like qualities, first off, but also because your outfit wasn't made to perfectly fit for your movements.
"Miss Hina" seemed to be experiencing some wardrobes malfunction as the dress was constantly in danger of slipping right off as it seemed the taylor seemed more focused on it looking good and looking like it would fit as opposed to functioning as actual clothing.
"Ara ara~ How shameless of you to pay such close attention~ I must say that i'm quite surprised at the quality of this body. I wouldn't be able to tell the difference from a-" She began before Kazuha covered her mouth with his hand, hissing in a low tone.
"Don't give away what you really are in the public like this…!" He warned.
Beidou raised an eyebrow at the peculiar scene, but the person who seemed to be the most affected was Keqing who had her mouth agape.
"How did you…? She just immediately turned on…?" Keqing looked absolutely stunned at what had happened the moment Liben left Kazuha with the Miss Hina doll.
"I'll explain later and i'll try to find you a body if I can, Rosalyn." Kazuha sighed in exasperation, having not thought that Mini Miko would have entered the doll so quickly.
"Hello~! It's nice to meet you two! I'm essentially Kazuha's familiar and I now have a body to freely walk in!" Miss Hina greeted the two with a big smile as she hugged Kazuha tightly into her chest with seemingly no resistance from him.
While Keqing seemed to have crashed mentally, Beidou merely returned the greeting with a big smile.
"Nice to meet you too! A friend of Kazuha's is a friend of mine! I didn't expect for him to have a familiar, though, are you the reason he talks to himself sometimes?" She asked, to which Miss Hina held up her hands like a criminal caught.
"Guilty, though I have nothing to do with his connection to the wind." She admitted.
The two seemed to be getting along rather well, but seemed to have forgotten about the subject they were talking about being right between them as Miss Hina held him tightly under her.
The sight of Kazuha between the two rather well endowed women was enough to break Keqing out of her daze, but was unable to find out how to tactfully remove him from the two.
"Um, Miss Hina, may you please let go of me? I'd be more than willing to let you talk to my captain for the first time like this, but i'd really much prefer to be able to move freely." Kazuha spoke up from his spot between the two, getting her to let him go with an "oops!"
It was a miracle that he seemed unfaze about the situation, but he had things he needed to do, so the moment he was let go, he picked up Miss Hina like she was a doll and excused himself to talk to her privately.
Beidou couldn't tell what they were talking about, but it seemed like Kazuha was lecturing the small lady. Meanwhile, Keqing could only look on with worry over what they could be talking about, leading Beidou to make a comment towards her.
"If you're jealous, you should try to be more assertive." She offered a suggestion, causing Keqing to blush before immediately denying it.
"No! I'm not jealous. It wouldn't work out anyways!" Keqing vehementely protested.
"Why not? It's not like something is seriously preventing either of you. Whatever you wish to do in life is up to you and how you pursue it is limited only by your own will." The captain gave a grin, before she returned her attention back towards Kazuha who was walking back towards them with Miss Hina in tow.
"Sorry, I needed to have a word with her before she got out of hand. She's not too used to being able to interact with anything besides me." Kazuha apologized to which Beidou waved him off.
"Don't worry about it. I can only imagine how excited someone would be. What are your plans now though? I'm not too sure on laws about animated dolls." Her lone eye seemingly analyzing the doll once more.
"I'm almost certain my lawyer can assist me with that, but in the mean time, Lady Keqing, would you mind letting Miss Hina follow you so that I can talk with my captain over personal matters?" Kazuha asked.
"H-huh? I- I mean I guess, but won't you feel a bit off without your, uh, familiar?" Keqing asked with some worry to which Kazuha merely shook his head.
"I'll be quite fine as she was simply a companion, but with her now able to move away from me, I think it'd be best to allow her to experience the opportunity while she can."
"Wha? Oh! I guess. It'd be nice to not have to worry about being a bit more free while around you." Miss Hina nodded.
Keqing seemed a bit reluctant, but before she could have Miss Hina follow her, Kazuha did something surprising that caught her off guard as well as causing Beidou herself to look somewhat shocked.
Kazuha pulled Keqing into a warm embrace, a surprising act of intimacy that Beidou had never seen him do before he whispered into her ears.
"I enjoyed my time with you today and I appreciate you for taking care of my familiar…"
Keqing's eyes widened as she turned a deep shade of red, having been going through a myriad of emotions during her time spent with the samurai, causing her to be unable to immediately respond before she managed to give out a weak "It's okay…"
Miss Hina seemed to give a sly grin towards Kazuha as Keqing hurriedly ushered her to start moving, leading her away from the young man so she could recollect herself, leaving the two alone.
"Well, looks like you've been getting rather intimate with Ningguangs subordinates, hm?" Beidou teased, to which Kazuha simply smiled.
"Isn't that nothing new, since you're technically one of her subordinates too?" He retorted to which she growled.
"We're equals and since when were you ever intimate with me, huh, brat?" Beidou glared at the young man who's expression never changed.
"Lady Keqing is also her equal and in regards to us, would you be against to such ideas?" Kazuha countered.
"Tch. You're a bit cheeky after so long, hm?" She scoffed, preparing to take another swig from her flask before Kazuha stopped her by grabbing the wrist that was holding the drink.
"Why don't we play a game, Beidou?" He asked with a sly smile.
If Beidou knew that Kazuha was now completely alone without the presence of La Signora or The Divine Priestess Yae Miko after being constantly around the two, she'd have had a better guess as to what Kazuha's plan was.