Stupid, stupid, stupid.
For the past five blocks, Bolin had kept his head down and his hands in his pockets, trying to avoid being recognized while reflecting on how he'd somehow made a terrible situation even worse.
It wasn't enough that he'd ruined Korra's plan to help her family. No, he had to go run down to the police station, get in a screaming match with his brother, and punch him in the face. With a bunch of witnesses. Witnesses that were all cops.
He really should get a trophy for being that much of an idiot. A trophy that should be used for whacking him upside the head. A fine addition to his broken and burned hand which was feeling worse by the minute.
Bolin knew he'd have to get it looked at and treated, but where could he go? He didn't have any money on him to pay for a doctor or hospital, the police would probably be looking for him, and his list of friends felt shorter than ever.
He couldn't go to anybody that knew about the blown deal with Iroh, so it was obvious to avoid anything related to Varrick Industries or the mover studio. Asami was out of the question too, not only had she been relying on the agreement to help her company, it was also her boyfriend he'd just punched.
And he was on much better terms with Tahno now than he was before, but Bolin didn't think they were friendly enough for him to ask to crash at his place while the cops looked for him.
Should he try to find Bushi in a tent city? Nah, those people had been through enough, he couldn't risk bringing police sniffing around there. Besides, he wasn't particular to the idea of sleeping outside in the middle of a Republic City winter again.
All in all, Air Temple Island felt like the least bad option. Tenzin and his family would be out on their vacation, they usually had healers there for lessons, and there were plenty of places he could hide.
Yeah, he could get his hand fixed, lay low for a day or two, then get a ride to the Fire Nation to fix things with Korra. Good plan.
Ugh. Bolin knew it probably wouldn't work, but what kind of options did he have?
Pretty much none. But at least he was avoiding trouble right now. Pabu had caught up with him and nestled around his neck, and he hadn't been recognized on the ferry ride over, or get hassled by the White Lotus guards when he arrived.
Good so far. Just keep a low profile until you get to your room. But he'd forgotten where it was, and all these buildings were starting to blur together.
"Bolin!"
Either way, he'd lost focus, with three high-pitched voices calling his name, and the children they belonged to nearly bowling him over in an attempt to hug him. But it was such a relief to have Jinora, Ikki and Meelo be happy to see him, with a small miracle of his hand not being jostled enough to cause noticeable pain.
"Hey, you guys", Bolin greeted as he carefully got back on his feet. "What are you doing here? I thought you'd be on your big family vacation right now?"
"We had to postpone", Tenzin explained, next to his wife, siblings, and mother. "The children got sick while we were traveling back from the festival."
"Food poisoning", Bumi elaborated. "Because someone thought it was a good idea to have a fried sea prune eating contest!"
"That was your idea!", Kya reminded him.
"Never said it wasn't. So what brings you back to our humble abode, buddy?"
"I forgot something back in my room, but I can't find where I was staying."
"It's right behind you."
"Of course it is." Bolin turned around, and sure enough, Tenzin's instructions were correct.
"Bolin, wait." Katara's voice stopped him from going in the family living quarters to his belongings in the guest room. "What's been going on in the South?"
"...What have you heard?" Bolin was torn. He didn't want to divulge any more information that Korra might want to keep private, but it felt like if anyone deserved to know the truth, it was probably Katara.
"Nothing from home since the meeting Korra's Father organized. After her Mother and I talked with her, Tenzin came for me so I could help look after the children with Kya. Then we heard about the Southern Cultural Center being bombed."
"It's too bad you had to leave", Bolin joked. "Your waterbending might've been useful down there."
"My Mother's days of fighting are over, Bolin", Tenzin reminded him.
"I didn't realize that was up to you, dear." Katara might have said it with a sweet voice and a gentle smile, but something about it unnerved Bolin and scared Tenzin back into silence. "Anyway, what happened?"
"Some rebels tried to attack Korra's Uncle at the palace, but she was able to stop them before they kidnapped him. Then Korra's Dad got arrested with them since they all went to the meeting he organized."
"Oh no."
"And we had to get him out of prison when we found out her Uncle orchestrated the whole trial. Now we're trying to get help for the South before the fighting starts."
"I knew it." Bolin didn't believe Tenzin, but he didn't really care either. "Where's Korra now?"
"She's on her way to the Fire Nation. Gonna try and get support from them."
"I see. Well, when you see her, let her know she can always come talk to me if she wants to."
"I'll let her know, sir."
"Thank you. Hopefully she won't be stubborn and ask my father for advice too."
"I'm sure she will." You liar. "So what are you going to do now? Still going on your big trip?"
"I suppose so. There isn't much we can do about the situation based on what you've told us, and the kids have been looking forward to this for months."
"But Daddy, you promised we would play 00airball before we left!", Ikki reminded him.
"Airball?"
"It's a traditional game that was played by the Air Nomads in the old temples", Jinora explained to Bolin. "Dad had the acolytes build a court for us a few years ago."
"And it's so much fun!", Meelo added, while showing him a hollowed out wooden sphere that looked like it could be used for airbending. "Wanna play with us, Bolin?"
"Oh no, I'm fine. You have fun, though. It was kind of a bummer, since Bolin probably would've joined if he didn't have a mangled hand.
His answer didn't deter Meelo at all, though. "Aw, come on! You can still play even if you can't airbend. Here, catch!"
"No wai-"
But the warning came too late, and the ball was headed straight for his chest. On instinct Bolin used both hands to catch it, immediately regretting his choice when he felt the searing pain.
"Come on, I didn't even throw it hard."
Bolin didn't respond to Meelo's accusation of faking. He was on his knees, trying his best not to yell out a curse word in front of the kids, but focusing on that and the blinding pain left his injury exposed, and sure enough, Pema noticed.
"Oh no, what happened to your hand?"
"It's...it's nothing", he lied with gritted teeth. "I just...had a little juggling accident."
Seriously? That's what you come up with?
"Come on, drop the tough guy act and let me look." At that point it hurt too much to even move his hand at all, so Bolin relented and let Kya perform her inspection.
"Red skin...blisters...a good bit of swelling. Definitely looks like a second degree burn...and maybe a fractured knuckle. I'm impressed. Tenzin would be crying like a baby if his hand looked like that."
"Very amusing, Kya."
"Mom, think you can take care of this?", Katara's daughter asked her.
"Of course. Come with me, Bolin."
Bolin followed Katara's instructions, went inside Tenzin's home and walked with her into the kitchen. She told him to sit at the table while she prepared a large bowl of water in the sink, so he decided to start conversing.
"How long do you think you'll need? "I'm not rushing you, I just don't wanna hold you and your family up from taking your big trip."
"I'm sure they'll find something to do that'll pass the time", Katara reassured, as she sat down on the other side of the table with the bowl in between them. "Besides, I don't think we've actually had the chance to talk by ourselves."
"...Yeah, you're right." Bolin had to think back for a moment to be sure. Any of the other times they'd been together, Korra or different parts of Tenzin's family were around.
"I'd hoped we'd get the chance. Very few people have experienced what you and I have."
"What do you mean?"
"We both know what it's like to love the Avatar."
"I guess we do", Bolin realized. "I wonder how many people that even knew different avatars talked to each other. "
"Not many, I imagine. Now, shall we begin?"
It was uncomfortable sticking his hand in the water, despite its lukewarm temperature, but when it began to glow from Katara's healing touch, Bolin forgot to filter himself and moaned in relief a little louder than he should've. "Sorry. And thank you."
"It's no trouble. But..."
"...Yeah?"
"Do you want to tell me what really happened?"
"W-what do you mean?", he stammered. "I was trying to juggle, and-"
"You burned your hand juggling?", she asked skeptically.
"The juggling pins I was using were on fire. You see, I remembered a um, a street performer doing it once and I wanted to try it myself."
"Ah. But what about your knuckles?"
"Oh, uh, well I was actually juggling on a unicycle, but when I burned myself I fell and I tried to use my hand to catch myself and...you don't believe a word of this, do you?"
"Nope", Katara said with amusement, as Bolin's head fell on the table with a thunk.
"I knew I should've gone with a cooking accident."
"You don't have to tell me about it if you don't want to", she soothed. "But it can't be more embarrassing than my brother getting two fish hooks stuck in his thumb."
"Tw-"
"He tried getting the first fish hook out with another fish hook", she explained with the same disbelief she must have had when it actually happened.
Bolin wanted to laugh, but then he remembered what he'd just done. At least her brother had only hurt himself. "It's not about it being embarrassing as much as..."
"I promise, whatever you tell me won't leave this room unless you want it to."
"Is healer-patient confidentiality a thing?"
"It is with me", she reassured.
The promise of silence didn't really solve the conflict Bolin was having about talking to her, though. Katara was the first person he used to think of when it came to the Southern Water Tribe before he met Korra. How could he expect her to be sympathetic to him after finding out he betrayed her home? But like he'd realized before, she deserved to know what happened.
Might as well tell her. Whatever she'd do, he probably deserved it.
"When we got back to Republic City, Korra and Varrick tried to get President Raiko to send the United Forces to help the South, but he didn't want to get involved. So they cooked up a plan with Asami that would get General Iroh to help us behind Raiko's back."
"I'm guessing it didn't work."
"No", Bolin admitted. "But that's pretty much my fault. Korra was worried my brother would blab, so she made me promise not to say anything to him. But I told Mako anyway, he had to tell the President, and the whole thing fell apart."
"Then what happened?"
"What do you mean, 'Then what happened'?"
"I don't understand."
"Me neither. I thought you'd throw me out and tell me to never come near Korra or your family again when I told you."
"Why would I do that?"
"Because of what I did!" This didn't make any sense to Bolin. How could she be so accepting of this?
"You made a mistake, yes, but not an unforgivable one. Besides, I don't think Korra and my grandchildren would be very happy if I treated you like that."
Korra...
"That's the thing, though. Korra was really mad when she found out I told. She was yelling at me, then her eyes got glowy, her voice changed, and-"
"She went into the Avatar state?" Katara had kept a mostly neutral demeanor during their conversation, but her student's actions surprised and worried her.
"I guess so. I wanted to hold her hand and calm her down, but when I grabbed it was hot, and..." He made a gesture with his free hand towards the one submerged in the water. "That happened."
Katara let out a sigh befitting a disappointed parent. "Korra's always had difficulty controlling her emotions."
"It wasn't like that", Bolin explained. "She wasn't trying to hurt me, it was an accident, and it's my fault she was so mad in the first place."
"Please listen to me, Bolin. I've known Korra since she was a little girl, so I know her well enough to say she wouldn't want you to defend her acting like that, and she definitely wouldn't want you to blame yourself."
"Okay." Bolin didn't really agree that he wasn't responsible for what happened back at the mover studio, but he also didn't want to do anything that might upset Korra even more.
"So that explains this injury", Katara said while shifting the water with her hands to focus on his knuckles instead of his palm. "How about the other one?"
"I went to talk-er, yell at, my brother for telling Raiko since he promised to keep his mouth shut. The whole thing turned into a screaming match, and I...punched him in the face."
"You punched him with a burned hand?"
"I wasn't really thinking clearly." No kidding. "It was pretty much instinct, or impulse. One of the two."
"Must have hit him pretty hard if you fractured a knuckle."
"Preeeety sure I broke his nose", Bolin told her, the tiny bit of pride he had for pulling a punch like that off outweighed by the shame of doing it to his own brother in such a public spectacle. "But it really hurt."
"I can imagine."
"So that's the story", Bolin concluded, slumping back into his chair, not meeting Katara's gaze while she continued to work on his hand. "But full disclosure: my brother's a cop now so there's probably gonna be a bunch coming soon to arrest me."
"Do you think that's something your brother would do?" Bolin could feel Katara's doubt of his fears, even if her voice didn't show it.
"I don't know...probably not...I just..."
"You should speak with him and sort things out", Katara encouraged. "Perhaps not right now, but soon."
Definitely not right now. "I will, eventually. I mean, I know why he told, and I know I shouldn't have punched him, but I'm still mad at him!"
"Is there something else that happened between you?", she asked.
"Kinda. He's been picking fights with Korra for a while, so I'm always caught between them when that happens. And it seems like he blames her whenever I do something he doesn't like, which really ticks me off. He keeps acting like he has to protect me and that he knows what's best for me and it's driving me crazy!"
"Sounds like an older sibling."
"Honestly though? It didhave to be like that when we were younger. When we were kids, and..." Bolin's voice trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence.
"Korra told me before about what happened to your parents", Katara explained with a tone meant to be comforting. "I completely understand if you don't want to talk about it."
Not many of any of Bolin and Mako's acquaintances knew why their Mom and Dad weren't around. They always showed empathy towards their reluctance to talk about it whenever the subject came up, but it was always so rare when it felt like they actually understood. Maybe it felt different with Katara because she'd experienced the pain herself, but Bolin wasn't sure. Either way, he was just as tight-lipped about how they'd lost their parents as his brother.
"I'd never admit this to him, but he kind of was a parent for me after it first happened. He really looked after both of us. He'd always try to prioritize me and give extra food, warmer clothes, whatever. And he'd help when...I was going through stuff. It'd bug me so much though because I wasn't that much younger than him and it felt like I should be contributing more. But he never wanted me to take the kinds of jobs or risks he did, so I had to do it behind his back."
"Did you do this often?"
"No, only when we were in a tight spot with money or Mako couldn't work. I'd have done it more, but I was worried he'd flip if he ever found out. I just...was so sick of being a burden."
"Do you think that's how Mako sees you?", Katara asked. Bolin could see where she was going with this.
"No", he answered with a dejected tone.
"I don't think caring for someone you love is ever a burden. Either way, it doesn't sound like you forced it on him."
"He had to shoulder so much more than me, though."
"That was his choice. And the circumstances it happened under weren't your fault."
Bolin didn't respond. Instead he just silently stared at the table, his expression unchanged. He'd moved on from the guilt that had tormented him as a young boy a long time, but it was hard to ignore during the rare times it crept into his head now that he was older.
Korra must have sensed something because she didn't press him on the subject anymore. "So what do you plan to do then?"
"I wanted to go to the Fire Nation and try to salvage things with Korra."
"You don't sound very confident", Katara noticed.
Bolin leaned forward, running his free hand through his hair. "I have no idea what I would say to her. Or if she'll even want to talk to me ever again."
"Do you love her?"
"Of course I do." He appreciated the advice and healing he'd received, but a question with such an obvious answer had gotten on his nerves.
"Has she said that to you?"
"Yeah, but-" The weight of their conversation was starting to get to Bolin, and the hard lump he'd felt in his throat from before had returned.
"Don't you believe her? Do you think she's fickle enough to give up a relationship that means so much to her?"
"You don't understand!" His voice cracked as the tears brimming in his eyes spilled onto his cheeks. "She's so amazing and perfect and wonderful and all these other things, and I'm just...me."
Bolin wasn't that dumb, he knew that Korra seeing him as anything more than a friend was nothing short of a miracle. And he'd been so caught up in his happiness that he'd forgotten how easily it could all fall apart. He'd forgotten how the only thing he'd ever been good at was screwing things up. And now he'd ruined a once in a lifetime chance with one mistake.
He put his head on the table again, but this time he was shrinking away from Katara. She was a hero, a living legend in every sense of the word, and he was crying in front of her like a little boy that had just received a scolding, almost too wrapped up in self-pity to hear her response.
"I think you're more than that to Korra."
"How would you know?" It was a response appropriate for the petulant child Bolin felt like, although Katara didn't seem fazed by it.
"Because she thinks you're a kind, charming, sweet, and handsome boy."
He glanced up, confused. "Wha...?"
"That's how she described you when I tried to heal her in the South Pole a few months ago."
Bolin realized that was after her fight with Noatak, when she'd lost her bending. "Hard to imagine her being very talkative after that."
"She wasn't at first", Katara admitted. "But after a while Korra told me about her adventures. The people she met...and how she fell in love."
"Korra really said that?" He felt a tiny ping of hope for the first time in what seemed like an eternity.
"She didn't need to. I've been around long to figure out how to see love from more than just people's words."
"What do you mean?"
"I noticed something while Korra spoke. The only times she ever spoke or sounded happy was when she talked about you. Bolin, you were her one comfort when she needed it most."
He couldn't resist a tiny smile after hearing what Katara said. He'd always assumed Korra's feelings were a result of a snap realization from his confession at the South Pole, but had it been different? Had they loved each other the whole time, and been too afraid to admit it to each other and themselves?
Alright, so maybe their relationship wasn't completely doomed. Bolin knew that whining wasn't going to fix it, but other ideas weren't coming to him right now.
"So, what do you think I should do?"
"I think the answer to your problems should come from yourself in a situation like this, but I would advise that you trust in your feelings, and trust in what you and Korra share together."
Bolin grumbled a bit, since her solution was basically a nice way of saying "Figure it out yourself", but he knew she had a point, and he couldn't complain too much when Katara had just done so much for him already.
Speaking of which, the waterbending master relaxed her arms, and the glow faded from the bowl of water. "Try moving your hand, see how it feels."
He did as instructed, and wiggled his fingers, opened and closed a fist, then brushed his knuckle with his other hand. Some of the motions felt weird, like trying to stretch a tight muscle, but otherwise it felt like nothing had ever happened.
"You'll feel some discomfort for a few days, and it'll be sensitive to hot temperatures for a while", Katara warned.
"Thank you", Bolin told her as he stood up while drying his hand on his shirt. "Really, thank you."
"It's my pleasure." She walked around the table and outstretched her arms, and he accepted the hug she offered, not realizing until now how much he needed it.
The feeling was like he'd been draped with a blanket that'd been near the fireplace after a long night in a blizzard. He dwelled in the moment for a while, and noticed it felt a little similar to hugging Korra, except Katara smelled more like ocean spray from waves crashing against walls of ice than the smell of fresh snowfall that reminded him of the girl he loved.
After they let go, the two left the kitchen together, going outside to Katara's awaiting family, in front of an Oogi loaded up with luggage, ready to depart.
"Good, you're here", Tenzin said with an air of impatience. "If we leave now, we'll be able to avoid rain on the way to the Southern Air Temple."
But Katara stayed where she was instead of getting on the bison with her children and grandchildren. "I can't come with you."
"Why not, Gran-Gran?", Jinora asked.
"Yes Mother, why not?", Tenzin added. "I've been planning this trip for over a month!"
"Based on what Bolin said, things in the South are going to get much worse soon. I need to be there when it does."
"I'll come with you", Kya volunteered, but Katara raised her hand to signal her daughter to stay put."
"It's nothing I can't handle on my own. Besides, you'll be more needed here with your family."
"But Mom-"
"It's past time you started acting like siblings. Trust me, when you get to be my age, you'll be thankful for the time you shared together. Besides, I think it's important that you all visit your father's home together."
"All right", Kya relented, respecting the wishes of her mother. "How are you going to get there?"
"I think your brother has a spare flying bison or two I can borrow."
"Are you sure?", Bolin questioned. "The North had their Navy set up in the harbor when we left."
"I've gotten a sky bison past blockades when I wasn't much older than Jinora", Katara said with a sly smile.
"Alright Mother", Tenzin told her as she headed toward the bison pen while exchanging goodbyes to the rest of the family. "But be careful! And stay in touch!"
After she walked out of sight, the attention came back to Bolin. "So what are you going to do now?"
"I'm not sure", he told Bumi. "If it was alright with you guys, I was going to hang around on the Island until Korra gets back."
The plan seemed acceptable to Tenzin, but his children had other plans.
"Bolin, why don't you come with us?"
Ikki and Meelo's faces lit up at the suggestion of their older sister, although their father wasn't as enthusiastic.
"Jinora, this is supposed to be a family vacation."
"Tenzin!" His wife was quick to admonish the insensitivity, but it didn't really bother Bolin. He knew the only reason that he'd been allowed to come before was that Korra had insisted.
Things were different now, though, with her choosing Unalaq to be her new spiritual instructor. Not to mention his own problems with Korra that he had no intention of telling them about.
"Well, you're welcome along if you want", Pema told him, countering her husband.
"I dunno, how long would we be gone?" He needed distance from Mako for a while, and time to figure out what to say to Korra, but he didn't want to completely disappear on them either.
"A week at most." Tenzin didn't have any more objections, now that he knew his opinion on the matter was outnumbered.
"Aw come on, Bolin!", Meelo begged. "Pleaaaassee?"
"The kids would definitely love to have you." Pema was pleading more than they were. That woman needed a break badly.
"Yeah, and you'll get to see the laid-back vacation Tenzin I've heard so much about", Kya added.
"...You know what, sure!" But he remembered something in his enthusiasm. "I gotta go pack, though!"
"Just be quick!", Tenzin yelled as he went back inside. It also dawned on Bolin when he got to his room that his luggage and a lot of his clothes had been left behind in the South.
It wasn't a major problem fortunately, since he'd gotten some new stuff to wear with the prize money from the championship pot, but he had to use his duffle bag from his probending days to hold his clothes.
He only needed a minute to gather what he needed, but a photo on the dresser jogged a memory from a few months ago.
Bolin picked it up and thought back to the Fauna Feast Korra had shared with him on his birthday at Hue's. The conversations they'd had with full mouths, when she'd laughed at his coughing fit and burning mouth trying the Sky bison wings, and how he'd done the same when she'd taken a big bite, not believing how spicy they were. And then they spent the whole ride back trying not to throw up their massive meal.
Bolin smiled, tucked the photo and the shirt he'd won that day into his bag, and went to rejoin the family.
Notes: This conversation between Katara and Bolin was definitely one of the main inspirations for making this story, so it was definitely an incentive to get this chapter done faster, or at least faster than I've been writing recently.
So I'll be back to work on another chapter for you all, but I also wanna make a mini-announcement that I'm working on another story, one I think you might enjoy ;).