Chapter 32. Setsunai

"A painful happiness that suffocates the heart."

|Sasuke|

As she came down from her fourth peak, I decided that dragging this on any longer would make the ultimate ending all the more difficult, so it was as her chest rose and fell while she tried to regain her breath that I hooked my arm under her neck and began to squeeze.

I felt her body stiffen and as her hands reached up to grab my arm, I prepared myself for the scratching and clawing that would come as she attempted to free herself from my death grip. Instead, her hands rose higher and found my face.

She tried to crane her head up and look at me, so I slackened my hold just enough to let her. When I met her eyes, they filled me with a familiar heartache, and I dropped my sight to her sad, quivering smile.

"Are you going to kill me?" She asked quietly.

I nodded, unwilling to answer her so heartlessly and she held a long blink before caressing my cheeks.

"I thought it was weird." She admitted, "I've only had a few customers but none of them touched me as long as you did."

"Ran-san…" I let my words trail off as she sat up and turned around to face me.

Although she had been speaking to me relatively calmly, it was only with this change in position that I could really notice the fear permeating her body. Her goosebumps were more than visible in the dim room light, and I could see that her smile wasn't the only thing that was shaking.

Instinctively, I reached out to hold her shoulder and even though she'd flinched, she allowed my hand to remain on her.

'What am I doing?' I asked myself as I carefully pulled her into a hug.

After a moment, Ran put her arms around me and fed into the embrace.

"I don't want to die." She whispered as she tightened her hold on me, and that simple sentence broke my conviction.

"You don't have to." I said, pulling back from the hug to look at her, the knife in my heart digging deeper when I saw the tears running down her face, "I—"

Ran shook her head as she scrubbed her face, "You were told to do this, right? That means you'll get in trouble if you don't kill me."

"Still—"

"There's no point." She cut me off, sniffling, "They'd probably punish you and still kill me."

I couldn't argue with that point, so I sat and watched as Ran got up and redressed herself. The silence in the room was deafening and I followed Ran around my eyes, watching as she took a seat at the small table the room had and wrote something down on a piece of paper. I figured she was done when she folded the paper and returned to me.

"I have a younger brother named Ren. Please…please look after him." She begged, pressing the folded paper into my hand, "He doesn't have the best attitude, but he means well most of the time. Without me he'll be a mess so please…"

I tucked the paper into my inner pocket, "I'll take care of him."

Lowering her head, Ran let out a soft sigh of relief, "If you ask around, it shouldn't be hard to find him."

Nodding, I held a hand to her cheek and slowly tilted her head up. I didn't even question it when the gap between our faces reduced, and soon enough her lips were on mine. The kiss was soft yet filled with anguish, and I tried to give Ran another out.

"You truly are a kind person, Toshiaki-san." Ran chuckled before turning around and leaning her head against me, "Arigato."

With her thanks hanging the air, I put her in a chokehold before shutting my eyes and starting the silent timer in my head.

'One, two, three…'

Although twelve seconds had gone by, I kept the pressure on her neck for an additional two seconds to make sure she was out. Only Kami knew how my willpower would fare if she turned out to still be conscious after all this, and I didn't need any more reasons to let her go.

Lowering my arm from her neck, I laid her down gently on the bed and straightened my robes before heading out of the room. I found Koji leaning against the wall a few meters away from the door and signaled him over. He wore an unreadable poker face, so if he'd heard our conversation, I couldn't be sure.

He took a quick peek in the room before clasping a firm hand on my shoulder and urging me to look him in the eyes. Although we shared no words and his expression remained unchanged, I got the message.

"You did what you had to."

'Aa.' I nodded to myself as Koji entered the room and lifted Ran up, 'But did I have to?'

|Naruto|

Sakura was considerably quieter after our run in with Sasori, and although she tried to assure me that she was fine, I didn't have to guess what preoccupied her thoughts.

That blond-haired man sounded just like Sasuke. Sure, the mask may have muffled his voice a bit, but there was no mistaking it, that was him. For Sakura's sake, I'd shaken my head when she'd asked me to confirm her suspicions, but even I had to admit that the chances of us running into Sasuke's doppelganger were extremely low.

Thankfully, a number of elements about him and the situation were enough to try and operate on the pretense that we hadn't run into Sasuke, specifically his bright blond hair. Sasuke dyeing his hair was unprecedented to say the least, and then there was the location; I mean, Otafuku? After going MIA on Sakura for four months, what were the odds we'd find him in a city an hour and a half away from Konoha?

Logic told me that there was no way that was Sasuke, but what with Sakura's somewhat of a breakdown after revisiting a traumatic incident in therapy, it wouldn't be wrong to suggest that Sakura's mind was not operating under the most logical pretenses.

I stole a glance at her as we continued to stroll down the street and found her to be staring at the ground, her brow showing hints of furrowing as she remained relatively deep in thought. A quick look around to find a distraction proved fruitful, and I took her hand and pulled her off the main road and onto a beaten path.

"Naruto?" Sakura called my name uncertainly, "Where are we…?"

"You'll see." I called over my shoulder as we progressed further into the somewhat forest section of the city.

'Come on, come on.' I thought to myself as we began to climb a hill, 'If you've got a path like this, then there has to be a…yes!'

A sizeable portion of ground had been cleared to make space for the medium-sized traditional house that stood atop the hill. Considering how the house was pitch black and the surrounding lanterns weren't lit, I figured it was safe to assume that no one was home, which made the next part ten times easier.

"Uh, Naruto?" Sakura called again as I climbed onto the roof, "Do you know the owners of this house?"

"Nope." I admitted, popping the p and holding my hand out to help her up.

"Then why are we sitting on their roof?" She asked, although she took my hand and joined me.

"Because," I grinned, "The moon's pretty high up in the sky and this festival's been going on for a while, ya know. I wouldn't be surprised if we saw some fireworks right…now!"

Of course, real life isn't like the movies. The sky remained remarkably dark, without a trace of explosive light or a pop to be heard. I slumped before turning to Sakura with a sheepish look, and she offered me a light smile, but it was clear my distraction was losing its hold on her.

The front of her yukata had loosened enough for me to see the line of her cleavage, and while a quiet voice whispered for me to reach out and touch her, Sakura's question from earlier in the day prevented me from doing so.

"Do you think we're having too much sex?"

'Come on, idiot, think with your head!' I scolded myself, 'Not your dick!'

I quickly ran through several topics we could talk about that would last us longer than five minutes and settled on Sakura's earlier announcement that we would spend a week apart starting tomorrow.

"So, this break thing?" I cleared my throat as I broke the silence, "How exactly is this gonna work? Like, I can't call you at all?"

"Um…yes." Sakura answered after a moment, the ears behind her eyes evidently turning as she thought up the condition for our time apart, "Emi-san said no communication so that would include calling, texting, sex…"

I nodded my head but then remembered an upcoming event that would enable our paths to cross, "Well, what are we gonna do at Konohamaru's wedding? Should I just…avoid you?"

"I guess?" She brushed her hair back behind her ear, "If that sounds awkward, I can just…I won't come. After all, you're the one who really needs to be there."

"Nonsense." I waved my hand, "I can make it work, ya know. Your therapist said it'll be good for you, yeah? Of course I'll make it work."

She laughed as I took her hand in mine, "Arigato."

"One whole week though…" I mumbled as I lifted her knuckles to my lips, "Buddha give me strength…this is gonna be torture."

"Try not to focus on the week itself, but what'll happen after it." Sakura suggested, "After all, I'm sure we'll both have a lot of energy."

A light bulb went off in my head, but I would need some more time to get all the details right before I could share my thoughts. However, after having been with me so long, Sakura could recognize my idea face any time.

"What did I just do?" She questioned with a raised eyebrow.

I snaked my arm around her neck and pulled her close, "Nothing you have to worry about…yet."

With a shake of her head, Sakura leaned against my shoulder and shut her eyes.

"You know, Naruto, I'm not sure how many times I can say this before it gets old but—"

She was cut off by a shrill whistle and the two of us looked up just in time to see the sky turn bright red as a preliminary firework went off. From down below, we could hear the whoops and cheers of the festival goers, clearly ready for the main event of the night, and after a few more fireworks went off, a muffled announcement began to play.

"You were saying?" I turned back to Sakura, fighting back the grin that threatened to break out on my face.

Ever attentive, Sakura shook her head before grabbing my collar and pulling me close, "I love you."

"Don't worry," I beamed, losing the fight to hold my smile back, "That'll never get old, ya know."

As we kissed, the sky went from blue, to green, to orange, and when we finally separated, it was a deep purple.

'Okay, so maybe sometimes life is like the movies.'

|Sasuke|

"Amado, what do you have to say?" Jigen questioned, leaning back from his inspection of the bodies, "Think it'll convince the public?"

Amado took one long look at them before drawing a hit from his cigarette and exhaling, "Yeah, it'll do."

We were in another client room and laid out on the bed in front of me were Ran and Watanabe's bodies. Placed in a compromising position and having some small traces of shabu smeared under their noses, I had to admit that as a total stranger, I would not have doubted their apparent deaths from overdose.

Recalling my promise to Ran as well as what I had read in her letter to her brother, I silently prayed, 'Kami, may she find no trouble in the afterlife.'

Jigen clapped his hands and turned to me, "Excellent work, Toshiaki. If Pain ever gives you any trouble, I'll be happy to shelter you."

"Not even beating around the bush anymore, eh?" Pain chuckled as he regarded me, "Better get comfortable, I wouldn't chase my beloved Toshiaki away for the world."

Unable to formulate a witty response, I simply nodded my head and Pain patted me on the back. A loud pop caught all our attention, and we stepped out into the hallway to find people crowded around the windows watching fireworks lift into the sky.

"Even better for you." Jigen commented, "With the festival and the fireworks, it's not improbable that it would take so long for someone to discover their bodies."

"Heh." Pain shook his head, "Don't worry about the little stuff. While Amado's suggestion was helpful, we can take it from here."

Jigen held his hands in mock surrender, "As you wish. Now, about the handling of shabu…"

"Toshiaki, you should go to your wife." Pain turned to me with a light smile on his lips, "It's a nice night, you shouldn't spend it all working for me."

Despite his happy expression, the subtle lowering of his eyebrows told me that this was not really a suggestion and moreso an order.

"Sir." I bowed my head respectfully before leaving the men to their discourse.

Karin was the last person I wanted to see right now, and yet at the same time, she was the only person whose presence I would be able to stand considering how I felt. Her admonishment of my character was what I truly deserved, not the flimsy approvals and jokes that I found myself constantly surrounded by.

However, finding Karin proved to be somewhat difficult, as I learned from Kisame and Konan that she had gotten up and gone out for a stroll some twenty minutes ago. Thinking that she could be anywhere in the city, I grabbed another mask from the front and wore it before stepping out onto the street.

Although Otafuku was considerably more packed thanks to today's festival, the fireworks' display really encouraged everyone to be out on the streets, and I found myself having trouble trying to navigate the main road.

With Karin wearing a bright red yukata, you would think I'd have no problem finding her, but with the increase in crowd came an increase in unusual colors. I tapped on the shoulders of about five black-haired women who happened to be wearing similar robes and issued swift apologies upon recognizing that they were not Karin.

Eventually, after Kami knows how long I spent walking around, I spotted her by a chicken booth with Suigetsu. I stopped in my tracks as he paid for their yakitori and watched as he looked around before saying a few words to her and pointing towards an alleyway.

He was most likely suggesting that they take it to avoid the sea of people that they would undoubtedly smash into if they tried to take the main road, but I couldn't help the tightening in my chest.

Suigetsu took her hand and led the way, and I debated on whether or not to follow them. After all, Karin and I were married in name only. So what if she had something going on with Suigetsu? The two of them weren't idiots, they'd find a way to keep it under wraps, and if anyone deserved happiness it, was Karin.

"Aa." I said to myself, turning to head back to the brothel, "Don't ruin this for her."

'Really? That's the stance you're going to take after you saw Sakura with Naruto tonight?' My conscience chided me, 'Face it, you've lost her; but are you really going to let go of Karin too?'

Shaking my head, I tightened my fists and followed after the two of them. This wasn't me being possessive, I was just fulfilling my duty as Fujikage Toshiaki and informing my partner about what had happened. After all, I'd made Ran a promise to help her brother and I couldn't do that without finding him.

Yes, that was it, I was just going to calmly interrupt their meeting and take her away for the rest of the night. Calmly…

That is, until I reached the alleyway and found Karin pressed up against the wall, Suigetsu's hands holding her cheeks as he leaned down to her.

'She's not your real wife.' I said to myself, 'It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, it doesn't…'

The third chant didn't even make it halfway before I came up and slammed my fist into the side of Suigetsu's face, sending him stumbling to the ground. Karin dropped their yakitori out of surprise and turned to me, but before she could get a word out, I grabbed her hand and tugged her out of the alleyway.

I could vaguely hear her calling my name but paid no attention to it over the sound of my thumping heart. I wasn't even sure where we were going, all I had in my mind was the word "go," and it wasn't until Karin wrenched her hand free from my grip that I stopped moving.

I quickly wheeled around to face her and her reaction to my sudden turn is what cooled my head and froze my heart. She took a step back before raising a hand somewhat defensively and my heart sank as I realized that she had expected me to strike her.

I wanted to tell her that I could never, would never, but stopped myself. I couldn't lay my hands on her but could kill an innocent girl with a past similar to hers? A past that I had indirectly shamed by referring to Ran as "just a whore," only half an hour earlier.

Karin slowly lowered her hand when it became apparent that I wouldn't hit her, but her brown eyes remained alert and attentive. It was clear that any ounce of trust Karin had in me was gone, and in her eyes, I was no more familiar than a stranger.

"Toshiaki-kun," Karin began in a weak voice, "He was just…Suigetsu was just helping me. I told him it felt like there was something in my eye, that's why we were like that. We weren't…I wouldn't…"

She trailed off and while I had processed her explanation, all I could think about was how she was still using my alias. Her refusal to use my name only added upon the pain I felt, as I could count it as another sign of the rift between us.

"I see." I finally said, realizing that I had been staring at her long after she'd finished speaking, "I'll…apologize to him later."

She nodded and we stood there in a silence. Taking a look around, I realized that we were in a somewhat quieter area of the city, seeing as how less people were out and about and there were little to no decorations indicative of the ongoing festival.

Reaching for Karin's hand, I tried not to be too hurt when she pulled back, and with a nod more to myself than to her, I motioned for her to follow me and took a seat at one of the tables in front of a restaurant. Karin slid into the opposing chair and folded her hands in her lap before looking at me hesitantly.

"The girl, is she…did you…?" Karin questioned without finishing her thoughts.

"She's dead." I affirmed, watching the way her shoulders dropped at the news.

Would it have been better if I'd told her that I'd only rendered her unconscious? That I hadn't been the one to actually kill her?

'Probably not. At the end of the day, Ran's dead because of you.'

Karin swallowed hard, her voice barely above a whisper, "Was it…quick?"

"…Fourteen seconds." I replied, my voice going equally hoarse as I recalled how limp Ran became in my arms, "She didn't suffer."

"Mm…" Karin hummed tearfully before lifting her hands to her face.

I let her cry undisturbed, knowing that any consoling touches would be met with fear and rejection. She was so close and yet so far away, the longer I sat with her, the worse I began to feel.

When she managed to wrap up her tears, she lowered her hands from her face and regarded me.

"So," She sniffled wiping her nose with her sleeve, "Did you need me for something?"

'Do I have to need you for something?' I wondered as I removed my mask, not breaking eye contact with her, 'Why can't I just be with you?'

I mentally shook my head as multiple reasons jumped to the forefront of my mind and answered her question, "She had a brother named Ren. I promised her I'd help him, but I can't do that without finding him first."

"I'll see what I can do." Karin answered softly, wiping under her eyes, "Anything else?"

I looked at her for a moment and once again thought about confessing everything I truly felt.

'How can I get out of this?' I asked her with my eyes, trying to telepathically communicate with her, 'How can I get you to forgive me?'

Unsurprisingly, she looked back at me with clear unease written on her face, and I internally sighed as I stood up.

"…No." I said, wearing my mask once more, "That'll be all."

She stood up with me and I folded my arms, "Ah, but Pain did say I should spend some time with you so if we head back now it may look bad."

Karin was silent for a bit before replying, "Then, shall we take a walk around the city?"

I nodded and held my arm out for a second before remembering that she probably wouldn't take it, which is why I was mildly surprised when I felt her arm link with mine. One glance at her face however put out the small embers of hope that started to light within me, as her expression made it clear that she was doing this purely for appearances.

'She hates you.' I reminded myself as we began our walk, 'And you deserve it.'

|Naruto|

"It must've been so hot in that building, right?" The blonde woman questioned with a smile as she touched my shoulder, "How could you stand it?"

I shrugged my shoulders as I lightly laughed, "Hontōni, I just tried not to think about it. I was more concerned about the people that might've been trapped inside than a little heat, ya know."

"But it wasn't a little heat." Her brunette friend commented as she ran her hand along my bandaged arm, "The news said that you had third-degree burns all over your body."

"Eh, it was mainly just my arm." I corrected as I lifted the appendage, "Like I said, I've been a firefighter for fourteen years, I'm no stranger to fire."

The blonde giggled, "You're amazing, Nanadaime."

"A real hero." The brunette added, placing a light hand on my chest, "Your wife is one lucky woman."

"Actually…"

Sakura cleared her throat from the door so I raised a hand to the women as I went to join her, "Well, it was nice meeting you ladies! Have a nice night, ya know!"

"Bye, Nanadaime!" The two said in unison before continuing down the street.

I turned to Sakura with a grin which quickly dissipated when I met the firm line that was her mouth, "What?"

Shaking her head, she entered the hotel stairway, and we climbed the steps to the third floor before heading for our room. As I jingled the keys in the lock, I turned to her again.

"What is it?" I questioned, not liking the sudden change in attitude.

Still obstinate, Sakura pushed past me once the door was unlocked, and I didn't get a chance to try again before she entered the bathroom and shut the door behind her. Not knowing the reason behind her sudden sourness, I simply sighed and brought my clothes out from the closet before stepping out of my yukata.

It was after I had jumped into my jeans and was just about finished buttoning up my shirt that I froze in my tracks as I caught Sakura's low whimper.

"Sakura-chan?" I called as I went over the bathroom door only to find it locked, "Everything alright?"

I heard her open the sink, a poor attempt to mask her shaky voice as she called out, "Yeah, I'm…I'm fine."

"No, you're not." I answered matter-of-factly as I leaned my head against the door, "Talk to me, okay? You were doing great up until a couple minutes ago, ya know. What happened?"

"Nothing." She insisted, sniffling, "I'm just—I'm being stupid."

"Sakura-chan, open the door." I commanded as kindly as I could, "You're not stupid; let me in so we can talk."

"No." She refused, sucking in a sharp breath, "I don't want you to see me like this."

I paused for a moment, confused by her words, "Like what? Crying? Sakura-chan, I've seen that a million times already."

"And I'll bet you're tired of it!" She blubbered, "You probably want a happier girl that's not so fucked in the head, right?"

"What are you…?" I didn't finish my question, completely dumbfounded at the sudden torrent of accusations being thrown my way.

"Like those girls that stopped you outside." She continued, and I began to connect the dots, "You wouldn't have to deal with stuff like this if you were with one of them."

I sighed, "Sakura-chan, I don't want them, I want you."

I heard a familiar muffled noise that let me know she was crying harder and shut my eyes, "Sakura-chan…"

There was the subtle click of the lock and I stepped back as she pulled the door open and stood in front of me. Even with her tear-streaked cheeks, red eyes, and red nose, she was still the apple of my eye, and I told her as much as I pulled her into a hug.

"Don't lock me out." I told her as I gently rocked her back and forth, "I'm here to be with you, to help you."

"I know, I know, I just…!" Sakura cut herself off as she began to cry again, and I led us to the bed before rubbing my hand up and down her back in a soothing motion, "Gomennasai. I'm just so stupid."

"Hey." I called in warning as I pulled back and gave her a look, "So what was it this time? You were jealous of those women?"

Wiping under her eyes, Sakura sighed, "Yes, and no. I was jealous when we were at the door but when we got to the room, I realized how stupid it was for me to be jealous in the first place. Then I started thinking about how I ignored you and how that must've made you mad and I…oh Kami!"

I shushed her before she could begin to breakdown again and held her arms tightly.

"Sakura-chan. Sakura-chan, look at me." I urged her as she settled down, "You are the only woman I want, now and forever, okay? Like I told you today, I'm yours, and you're mine."

She nodded her head and I smiled before moving to stand up, "Alright, now get changed so we can head—"

Her hand on my waist cut me off and I looked down to find that look in her eyes.

"Sakura…" I clicked my tongue, "We can't. We're already leaving late enough as it is, if we wait any longer, we'll get caught in festival end traffic."

"But I…this is our last night together…" She murmured, clutching me tighter, "I don't—It can't end like this."

I removed her hand from my waist before lifting my hand to her throat and wrapping around it tightly, "Then how should it end?"

Sakura whined instead of giving me a proper response and I gave her a firm squeeze causing her to gasp.

"Hm, Sakura?" I questioned, sliding my other hand between her thighs and hiding my excitement when I felt that she wasn't wearing panties, "Tell me."

Her eyelashes fluttered shut as she gasped, "With us…together."

"Together?" I raised an eyebrow as I pushed two digits into her sopping heat, "You've gotta be clearer than that, ya know."

I laughed when I felt her constrict around my fingers.

"H-Having sex…!" She whimpered as I curled my fingers inside of her, "Harder!"

That later word came out as more of a demand than a plea, and I considered punishing her for a moment before another great idea hit me.

"Harder, ne?" I confirmed as I shoved my fingers as far as they would reach before scraping them against her inner walls, "What else do you want from me?"

"Naruto…!" She called my name in frustration, tossing her arms around my back and moaning.

"Tell me!" I urged her as I stopped my hand movements, "I won't do anything unless you give me specific instructions."

Letting out something that was a cross between a groan and a sob, she forced her head up to look at me, "Touch me…"

"How?" I pressed her, resuming my motions at a painfully slow speed.

Grunting, she wrapped a hand around my wrist and set the pace, "Like this."

"And then?"

"C-Choke me…" Sakura stuttered, uttering this command slightly quieter out of embarrassment.

Figuring I would give her a pass this time, I decided not to make her repeat the order louder and obliged, digging my nails into her skin, "And then?"

Although she managed a moan, I could sense the shift in her energy as she glanced up at me hesitantly, and bit back the large smile that threatened to expose my delight about the situation.

"Well, Sakura-chan?"

Shutting her eyes and giving in, she mumbled, "Talk to me like you usually do."

Unable to hold back any longer, I pushed her back against the door before tightening my grip around her throat and watching as her eyes went wide. I added adding a third finger to the mix and hilted my digits deep within her before speaking.

"Was that so hard, love?" I took note of how Sakura's core contracted at the term, "You made it seem like it was torture but you're even wetter than before, ya know. And you wanna know why?"

Sakura grabbed at my shirt, not in a panicking way to ask for air, but in an attempt to ground herself from the intense stimulation she was undergoing.

I brought my mouth to her ear and licked a long stripe up before whispering into it, "Because you're a pervert."

Sakura whimpered at the degrading term, and I felt more arousal gush out of her.

"You're a horny, emotional, jealous pervert." I murmured as I flicked her clit with my thumb, "But you're my pervert."

She jolted in my grasp, a strangled yelp managing to escape the tight airways I was restricting.

"How the hell could I leave you for another woman?" I hissed as I thumbed her clit faster and spread my fingers inside her, "There's no girl on Earth that can do half the things you do, ya know. And you're worried I'll find someone else?"

"Hahn!" Sakura moaned as she reached her peak.

"There's no way that'll happen." I grunted into her ear as I fingered her through her orgasm, "You spoiled me, Sakura-chan; you ruined me for anyone else. I'll never love another woman so long as I live, ya know."

Her back arched off the door as she fell apart, and I murmured quiet praises into her ear as she came down from her high. Loosening my grip around her throat, I watched as she gasped and shuddered as she tried to reclaim her breath. Once she had settled and come back to reality, I kissed her.

"Naruto…" She croaked as I pulled her lower lip in between my teeth.

"For this night and for the rest of my life, I'm yours, Sakura-chan." I hushed her as I removed my soaked fingers from her heat and popped them into my mouth, "Is there anything else that you want from me?"

I watched her eyes dart down to my lips as I made a show of licking my fingers clean, and her eyes gleamed with renewed arousal.

Wordlessly, Sakura moved her hands to my belt and undid the buckle before brushing against my length.

"I…want you to do…what you did before." She rasped, clearing her throat of its dryness, "What you did this afternoon."

"Fuck your brains out?" I guessed, watching as her lips curled into a smile.

She nodded, shyness partly coming back.

Dropping my jeans and boxers to the floor, I turned her around and bent her over the sink before grinning at her through the mirror, "As the lady commands."

|Sasuke|

"You really can't judge a book by its cover." Karin said as she leaned against the guard rails, "Who would've thought Shojoji would be a fan of golf."

"…He wasn't." I replied with some hesitance, "He came to the owners of the course offering 'protection' for money. After his…death, I lowered their rates in exchange for unrestricted access to the premises."

She nodded and continued to watch the koi fish swimming in the makeshift lake.

"That means you can bring Suigetsu here when you have time off and no one will ask any questions." I suggested, looking away when she turned to me, "Or anyone really."

"Toshiaki-kun, I told you we weren't—"

"I know, I know." I cut her off with a wave of my hand, "Forget it."

A waiter came from the bar holding a tray with multiple shot glasses and after a second of debate, I took two cups and tossed them back before holding one out to Karin. She shook her head, and I waved the waiter off as Karin joined me on the bench.

"Imagine if things were different." I began quietly once Karin had settled in beside me, "If Suigetsu and Jūgo had never run off, how would things be between us?"

She turned to me with a slightly raised eyebrow but kept quiet, encouraging me to continue.

I chuckled as I leaned back, "You still care for him now so the two of you would've gotten married, lived happily. You might not have said yes to this mission, and I…"

'Never would've fallen in love with you.' I thought to myself before shaking my head and shutting my eyes.

"Pain plans to bring back Yahiko in one month." I said, changing the subject, "Whether it works or not, I'm thinking we should go to the Six with everything we've got so far. It'll be more than enough to sentence most of them to a lifetime in prison, talk less of the death penalty."

"Whatever you decide." Karin answered, and I opened my eyes to look at her.

I found no evidence of sarcasm or hostility in her body language and returned my eyes to their resting position before crossing my arms.

"You're wrong, you know." She spoke again, causing my eyelids to fly back open as I gave her my attention, "Me and Suigetsu…things with us were already going bad before he killed that old man. We—I wouldn't have married him."

I nodded, unsure of how to respond and she sighed.

"The feelings I have for him now are more…nostalgic." She paused before finding the right word, "He loved me. He never said it, but I knew, and I…I loved him. We were just…two broken people trying to fix ourselves with each other."

"And it didn't work." I concluded, immediately biting my tongue at how insensitive my comment was.

However, Karin remained unaffected, nodding her head in agreement, "It didn't."

Mentally wanting to kick myself, I swallowed hard as I sat up, "Gomen, I wasn't trying to—"

"It's fine." She cut me off, shutting her eyes and holding a hand to her forehead, "You were right anyways."

Silence began to spread between us, and I quickly sought for a way to stop us from going back to our separate ways. As much as I deserved her hatred and her curses, I couldn't keep lying to myself. I wanted to love her, for her to love me, for us to…

"We should probably start heading back, ne?" Karin suggested, standing up and folding her hands, "I'm sure Pain wouldn't have us stay in Otafuku overnight."

'Say something.' I encouraged myself silently, 'Anything.'

"Karin." I called her name as she took her first step, and she froze in her tracks before slowly turning to me.

When she didn't immediately correct me about using her real name, I took a deep breath and stared her in the eyes as I began my apology.

"I love you." I began, rushing to continue when she started to close her eyes, "I know the last time I said that I hurt you but I…I mean it. I can't have things stay like this between us, looking at you, knowing you're next to me and I can't…can't be close to you is—it's painful."

"Toshiaki-kun—"

"Please, if you're going to reject me, use my name." I stopped her, trying not let my ache creep into my voice.

Karin returned to me and took my cheeks in her hands, forcing unbreakable eye contact, "Sasuke-kun, I can't love you."

Nodding my head, I tightened my fists at my sides and let out a deep breath, "Yeah, I understand. After everything I've done, why would you—"

"I can't love you because you don't know how to love." Karin continued, her eyes holding that compassionate gaze she used to give me all the time, "And I know how to love too much."

With that, she dropped her hands and turned away.

My jaw was set in place, and try as I might, I couldn't argue against her point. I was manipulative, controlling, and all those things she'd said about me in times past. One look at my track record and even a total stranger would deem me unsuitable for a relationship.

"I'll learn with you." I said as she began to walk away, chasing after her, "For you."

Karin shook her head, "Do that with your wife. After all, you'll be back with her in a month."

"I won't." I assured her, recalling how Sakura and Naruto were holding hands on the street, "It's over between us."

"Stop." She pressed a hand to her temple, "Even if that's true, that doesn't mean we can be together."

"Why not?" I questioned, taking her other hand in mine and urging her to look at me, "I'll listen to you, I'll tell you the truth at all times, I…whatever you want from me, I'll—"

She held a finger to my lips and let out a shaky breath, "Your wife lost your child and you shunned her for five years. Your wife. I'm not perfect, but even I have the right to speak on how fucked up that is. We can't, Sasuke. We just can't.

I froze for a moment, my body going rigid as she reminded me of my biggest regret, of my worst mistake.

"You don't know the full story." I shot back, clearing my throat as my eyes began to sting, "You think I'm over it? Every day, I wish I could go back in time and change what happened, but I can't."

"Sasuke-kun—"

"And you know that." I continued, my throat going dry as I willed myself not to cry, "I love you, but you don't get to make me feel worse about the things I already hate myself for."

Karin bit her lip and clutched the sides of her yukata. She seemed to be thinking for a moment before she raised her eyes to mine, having settled on a response.

"You're right." Her tone became flat, and I cringed as she began to revert to her to reclusive ways, "I went too far, I promise it won't happen again."

"Karin, no." I grabbed her shoulders and immediately plead for her to come out of her shell, "Please, I don't—I can't…fuck!"

"I don't know what to do!" I confessed as I hugged her, resting my head on her shoulder, "I never knew what to do! Not back then, and not right now…!"

"Sasuke-kun…" I could feel her lifting her hands to push me back and held on tighter, fearing that if we separated now, I would meet her eyes and find her completely separated from the situation.

"Please," I begged, letting my tears fall, "Please help me…"

She tapped my shoulder expectantly and I pulled back, wiping my eyes and waiting for her to remind me of our boundaries and how I was not to be anywhere near her. Instead, Karin pulled my hands away from my face before swiping her thumb under my eyes.

"There's no real way for me to help you." She told me in a gentle voice, guiding us back to the bench, "Like I said before, I'm not perfect. Even now, I'm still…I'm still learning."

Sniffling and shaking my head, I looked at her, "You're still miles better than me."

"Depends on who you ask." She differed before taking a seat beside me, "I know a few people who would call me the Devil incarnate."

I shook my head in disbelief, "You? The Devil? That's impossible."

Karin shrugged her shoulders, "You'd be surprised, but that's a story for another time. You said I didn't know the full story about Suna, so tell me what I'm missing."

"I don't know." I hesitated, taking a deep breath, "It might make me look worse in your eyes."

"Trust me." She laid a hand over my own and intertwined our fingers, "Nobody can change how I feel about you. For better or for worse."

She gave my hand a light squeeze and I shut my eyes, ignoring the subconscious voice urging me to keep quiet. After a few deep breaths, I started the tale.

"After we'd lost the child and Sakura was hospitalized to check for any issues, I…visited her. We talked for a bit and I stepped out to collect myself, but when I came back…"

|Naruto|

"Sakura-chan, okiro." I lightly shook her after putting the car in park, "Look, it's your house. We're here."

"Hm?" She murmured as she rubbed her eyes, "Already?"

I chuckled as I turned on the overhead light and grabbed her handbag from the backseat, "What do you mean already? We were on the road for two hours, ya know."

"Yeah, but…" Sakura shook her head as she stretched, "Never mind."

She stepped out of the car and tossed her bag onto her arm before coming around to my side.

"So, I'll see you at Konohamaru's wedding?" She questioned, a smile dancing on her lips.

"The same one that I won't be speaking to you at." I answered with a laugh.

She giggled before leaning down for a kiss and I met her halfway. When I pulled back, it wasn't hard to identify the happiness on her face, and she quickly straightened up as she stepped away from the car.

"Bye, Naruto." She waved as I backed out of her driveway.

"See ya around, Sakura-chan." I returned the gesture before watching her walk up the steps and enter house.

Chuckling to myself at her slight limp, I switched gears and drove down the road.

Once I was a bit of distance from her house and nearing the area where traffic was bound to be more prevalent, I took the chance to check my phone for any notifications. To my surprise, I had two missed calls, one from Konohomaru and another from Boruto.

Although Konohamaru had called me much earlier than Boruto, I figured I would check up on my son first. Thankfully, Boruto wasn't preoccupied with anything because he picked up almost instantaneously.

"Tou-chan?" He called, uncertainty evident in his voice.

"Aa, it's me." I replied, deciding not to call him out on the strange behavior, "Everything okay? You called me a couple hours ago, but I didn't see it till just now, ya know."

"Uh…" Boruto sighed heavily, "No, everything's not okay. I messed up and I don't know if I can fix things, ya know."

"Okay, okay." I turned my indicator on before switching lanes and attempted to calm him down, "Just take a deep breath, alright? What is it?"

"You can't tell Ka-chan." All traces of panic momentarily disappeared as he gave me one condition.

I pursed my lips, "Boruto, asking me to keep secrets from your mom is—"

"Tou-chan, please." He begged, his voice lowering to a whisper, "She can't find out. Please."

With a sigh, I compromised, "If it's nothing crazy, I won't tell her."

Although unconvinced by my answer, Boruto proceeded to speak, "I…I had sex with Sarada."

"Uh, okay." I cleared my throat and tried to keep from focusing on all the problems this would cause, "So why—I mean, is everything okay? Did something happen?"

"Yes! Well, no!" He groaned, "She's my best friend, Tou-chan. We—She came over after having an argument with her boyfriend and one thing led to another…it shouldn't have happened, ya know."

Pushing aside the familiarness of the situation, I came to a stop at the red light and tried to think of some sensible words of advice.

"It shouldn't have happened, but it did." I began before going on to smooth my message, "What I'm trying to say is, circumstances aside, do you have feelings for Sarada?"

There was a pause before he answered me, "…I love her, Tou-chan. I've loved her since we were kids, but we tried and…she doesn't see me the same way."

"I don't think she'd be willing to have sex with you if she didn't have some kind of love for you, ya know." I countered.

"You don't get it, ya know." I could imagine Boruto shaking his head, "We've been best friends all our lives. I didn't want to date her because if things went bad and we stopped talking to each other, I didn't know what I would do."

"But I still managed to fuck everything up." He continued, his voice hardening, "I've called her five times and they all went straight to voicemail. She doesn't want anything to do with me."

I exhaled through my nose and straightened up, "I'm not Sarada so I can't say for sure, but I'm almost positive that she's feeling the same panic you are and trying to deal with it on her own."

"But—"

"And if that's the case," I continued, not allowing Boruto break my train of thought, "Then you need to respect her decision and leave her alone, ya know. Sarada is an intelligent girl; when she's ready to talk, she'll let you know, but if you keep harassing her, she might never be ready."

Boruto hummed understandingly, "I just—I'm…I'm scared, Tou-chan. If I lose her like this, because I couldn't keep my hands to myself, I'll—"

"You won't lose her, ya know." I answered my son firmly, "Trust me, just give her some time and space."

A sniffle on the other end let me know that he had been crying, and I suddenly began to doubt my statements, wondering if I had gone about this the wrong way. Thankfully, Boruto's next words help to ease my self-consciousness.

"Arigato, Tou-chan." Boruto sniveled, "I really care about her, y'know? I've been losing my mind all day, ya know."

"I get it." I nodded, recalling how upset I had felt in the few weeks after Sakura and I had first hooked up, "It's scary when you think you're going to lose the person you love."

"Speaking of that," Boruto cleared his throat, changing the subject, "You're still going to introduce your girlfriend to me first, right?"

"Yeah, of course. Why?" I questioned, not understanding Boruto's sudden interest in my own romances.

"No, well, Hima said…" He trailed off before exhaling, "No, never mind. It doesn't even make sense now that I think about it."

"What doesn't make sense?" I asked, encouraging him to share his thoughts with me.

Boruto clicked his tongue, "Nothing. Thanks again, Tou-chan. I'm…I'm really glad you're my dad, ya know."

I turned right just before the light went red and blinked back tears at his appreciation of me, "Arigato, Boruto. That means…it means a lot to me, ya know."

"Yeah." He chuckled on the other end, "It's pretty late though and I know you have work, so I'll talk to you later, alright?"

"Alright." I nodded, "Oyasumi, Boruto."

"Oyasumi, Tou-chan." He bid me goodnight before hanging up.

With my apartment just two stop lights away, I tapped on Konohamaru's contact and listened as the phone ring. A glance at the dashboard clock told me it was 12:25 a.m., but before I could consider hanging up seeing as how late it was, the line connected.

"Yo, Konohamaru! I saw your missed call and wanted to check up on you!" I greeted him with a laugh, "But it's pretty late, eh? We can talk to tomorrow at work if that's better."

"A-Aa." Konohamaru stuttered, "Sounds like a plan."

"You okay?" I questioned, not knowing Konohamaru to the type to stammer.

A woman's moan and a subsequent gasp from Konohamaru quickly filled in the blanks, and I cleared my throat as I turned into my apartment's parking lot.

"Bye, Konohamaru." I hung up without waiting for a response.

As I pulled into my reserved parking spot, I felt my face grow hot as I realized I had intervened on private time between Konohamaru and Hanabi, but just as I began to wonder why he would answer the phone if he was…occupied, a loud crash got my attention.

Out on the street, I could clearly see a mangled motorcycle and a few meters from it sat a black Sedan with a somewhat dented hood. Both of those were neither of my concern, and while a somewhat dazed man got out of the car, my attention was more on the unmoving body beside one of the parked cars on the street.

Without spending a second to think about it, I quickly went to the scene to check the unmoving man's pulse. I found myself having no choice but to lift his helmet off him when it proved difficult to find a pulse through his wrist.

When I confirmed he was breathing, I brought out my phone and called for an ambulance before taking the chance to look over him. With a black undercut and blond shaven sides, I figured the man had to be somewhat young, especially with the piercings over his right eyebrow and the tattoo under his left eye.

Once the emergency responder assured me that help was enroute, I hung up and patted the man's pockets, searching for some form of ID. I found a ripped black wallet in his back pocket and a license with his picture gave me his name

"Otsutsuki Kawaki." I frowned at his surname and looked back at him, not seeing any of the Otsutsuki's defining features on him, "How in the hell…?"

A/N: Life is tough, but I'm baaaack! ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)