Chapter 38
The craft lands on the surface of Coruscant.
Standing alongside Mas Amedda, the Senate Guards watch the shuttle carefully as it lands before the soldiers come off. Noticeably, there are soldiers among the Tatooine party that have come here, and they aren't undoubtedly prepared to draw their weapons and shoot whoever that so much as looks at them in a manner that they do perceive as a threat.
Being dragged in front, humiliated, and as a prisoner is not something comfortable for Windu. All he can do is curse Vader and even the people of Tatooine for believing in him and now even the Republic is left with little choice with pressing charges against him. There will be a trial, and Windu would have to answer himself to the Republic.
Being dragged in chains is embarrassing. Now it is understandable by many why the party that came here had been asked that the Jedi remained uninvolved.
"Here is your Republic slave," the soldier at the front says, shoving the Jedi Master forward. "We are to record this and send to the galaxy that you would take him in for trial. The King wish me to tell you once: Don't even think about releasing him or allowing him to escape, for if you do, the galaxy would hear about the corruption of this Republic and I highly doubt that you would wish that."
Amedda nods curtly. "We agree to your terms for now at least unless the evidence rules differently among his trial. Follow me."
They follow behind the Chancellor to the prison. The prison is heavily guarded as it always has been, in no small amount due to the bounty hunters, mercenaries, and crazed individuals that have been caught by the Republic. No one would ever be able to escape the prison alive.
Inside is a large panopticon of cells where high-risk prisoners are held as well as generic cell blocks, a mess hall, a workout area, guard monitoring stations, a cremation center, and an infirmary.
After ensuring the Jedi Master is forced inside in a prison, the soldiers make sure their droid accompanying them records the Jedi Master.
Master Windu would have to admit feeling failure as he drowned in the darkness. Now, Vader has turned the entire galaxy against the Jedi.
The Jedi Master would find a way to free himself from the imprisonment, but he would have to also grow stronger in the time for their next duel.
If there was one thing his confrontation with Vader has taught him, it is that Vader is going to begin corrupting students left and right among the Jedi. The dark side of the Force trembled with Vader back in their battle, and that being allowed to flourish could not happen.
Next time, the Jedi Master would be prepared and that time it would be the fight to the death. There would be no holding back on either, no chains, no other Jedi dying, and most of all anyone who steps in their way would have been eliminated...
He has to protect the innocent-
The Jedi Master's thoughts are cut short when Master Tiin enters the prison. Across the face of the Jedi Master is a disappointment especially since he was one of many who supported Windu in bringing Vader in and finally bringing an end to those who clashed with all of their views of the Force.
"It is indeed as we fear," Windu says, breaking the silence and staring up at the Jedi Master. "Vader and his allies pose a massive threat to the Republic and would allow to be continue to spread their influence, unchecked if something doesn't change soon."
"The Order would have to be warned," Tiin replies with the utmost concern that Windu saw only once before. It was during the battle of Naboo. "Many of the Padawans' training would have to be intensified. Knights and Masters would have to take them on and ensure that their training is secured. It is the Jedi's responsibility to stop those who pose a threat to peace and justice as well as the Republic. Their corruption would spread if something doesn't change soon. It is only so long before they bring down the Republic and the Jedi Order."
Windu scowls. "How have things been with the Order as of late?"
Tiin replies. "I was appointed Master of the Order until you returned and now it seems the Jedi would have to prolonged that. We have to warn the Order. Your message has gotten one of us, my old friend."
"Go then," Windu replies. "Warn the Order. May the Force be with you."
"May the Force be with you, Master Windu."
At the very least, Windu was able to warn the Jedi Order. Now he would have to find a way to escape from this cell legally without making things look worse on his allies while also convincing the galaxy that the Jedi Order is correct in giving chase to Vader and his dark Acolytes.
Times are changing, and many within the Jedi Order are ill-prepared for how to deal with it. Many of the Padawans have been warned unconditionally about the dangers of the dark side far more than before, many of the Knights and Masters are taking on Padawans - some even two - and training them to the point where they would be out of breath by the end of a simple training session.
Ahsoka Tano has been among them. It is theorized by many of the ones within the Order that they are going to enter into a war with a threat that has been roaming over the Order for a decade and has only grown stronger.
The threat that is in the galaxy is now something that the Jedi Order is taking quite seriously no matter what.
So that leaves her in the training halls, dueling with another Jedi slightly older than her. That is one of the many differences now in the Jedi Order - instead of training with blaster shots of training droids - they appear to be adjusting to a different sort of training and now are training against their fellow Jedi in combat.
Ahsoka is finding it difficult to adjust to this new change of course. She has trained numerous times before against her fellow Jedi, but it appears that this is far more intense as if they are fighting like the Jedi of the Old Republic - something that she has never experienced and won't be used to for a while.
The Togruta ducks to the side and manages to avoid barely a swipe coming at her head, before kicking upwards and catching him in the stomach, as always very agile, but the muscles within are grating onto her. She cannot believe that she is going to be forced to fight like this in physical combat when the Force has always been an easier path for her.
The Jedi Guardian gives chase as she retreats. She stabs to the right and almost catches him in the leg when he evades to the side and kicks her in the stomach, thus ending the training session.
"You have done well, Padawan Tano," Master Cin Drallig praises, staring down at the defeated Padawan. "But you should work on your momentum. Otherwise, your journey to the Force would be very short."
Ahsoka mentally shoots a scowl at the Jedi Battlemaster.
'I'm trying, but this is difficult.' Ahsoka growls internally, hating to feel as if she is failing the Jedi Order.
But she knows it would not look well if she speaks outwardly to the Jedi Master so she chooses to reply: "I'm going to get better, Master, but this is hard."
"You have to learn combat if you wish to survive those threats that now stand against the very foundation of the Order," Master Drallig declares, unmoved as he stares down with apparently only further indifference. "It is understandable that you are not finding it simple to adjust to the changes within our ranks, but you have to genuinely put effort. Lack of understanding of combat would only lead to an untimely fall to either the dark side or to the Force."
"Not all of us would fall, Master," Ahsoka replies, narrowing her eyes are the Jedi Master. "Most of us have been Jedi for our entire life and we are not all going to just be another casualty that would fall to the dark side."
Truth be told, Ahsoka is doubting the Jedi more and more. They are trying to protect themselves from the dark side so the future of the Order would be able to survive and their beliefs just as well.
It is only right that they focus their attention on the one who defeated their Master of the Order and several prized Jedi.
Master Drallig's frown remains on his lips for a second longer before the expression on his face changes and instead of morphs into one of sympathy. "I wish that we could be certain about that, Padawan Tano, but already did the threat recruit two of our own and has a powerful protege on his side trained for almost a decade. Only more Force Adepts would be recruited if something doesn't change soon. Report to your dormitory, young one, further training shall persist tomorrow."
Ahsoka sighs before walking out, attempting to remain confident but her head is bowed. She can see the eyes of so many Jedi peering at her back, some with disappointment as if she has failed them, and others regarding her with another sort of emotions that discern concern.
Despite their stares, Ahsoka allows herself to continue to the confined location that is her dormitory, not wishing for them to all know that she feels doubt. How can she not? She knows all too well about nearly facing the horrors of slavery as she has been almost shipped off of her planet were it not for the assistance of Master Koon. The Jedi wishing to apprehend heroes is putting doubts in her mind.
She tries to adhere to the code but she is finding it difficult. She has always been one who struggles with the Jedi Code especially since the closeness she felt with Master Plo Koon and other Jedi is undeniable. She was close to the little friends in the class she has, and she couldn't ever bear the thought of losing them.
Once she reaches her dormitory, the Togruta rests against the bed and closes her eyes. She needs sleep after the much strain that has been placed on her muscles in the training session.
"Are you happy, child?" Something dark from the shadows queries to her.
Ahsoka's wide eye blue orbs snap open as she surveys her surroundings, trying to look for the voice. It seems oddly familiar to her own, but seems more matured and developed. Ancient even. The Force can play dangerous games and the dark side may be toying with her, wishing to corrupt her mind as the Masters advised her for it to do.
Where is she? How could she be in this small cave now? While many of her classmates would surely feel fear - despite how fear is not the Jedi way -, the Togruta child stands boldly in front of what must be certain doom.
"Your Masters, do they treat you well?" The voice questions.
Ahsoka continues to scan the cave before her eyes at last land on someone. A figure stands near the fire. As she focused her eyes on it, it was a female Togruta, wearing different armor from herself, with a lightsaber hilt of a weird model attached to the belt. The only difference is she is older, taller, and has longer lekkus and montrals.
All in all, a perfect mirror copies of what she would be in the future if she makes it that long. Given the Jedi Order is currently at war, the Togruta child cannot help but feel as if the Order would be lucky to survive the changing times and their members with it.
Ahsoka stands and faces the older Togruta. "What concern of it is yours?" she asks as she creeps her hand on her lightsaber. She has always been taught to defend herself in times of peril and don't back down in the face of anybody who may seek to undermine her. If this is a delusion of the dark side, then that is a symbol that she would have to be careful.
"I am your future." The older Togruta reveals, holding out both hands in front of herself as if she is making some sort of a great introduction. "Your potential."
Ahsoka, knowing that time travel is impossible as well as forbidden, ignites her lightsaber and angles it at the throat of the older Togruta. "This is a trick."
"There is a wildness in you, young one, uncommon in other Jedi." Her older self replies, before something falls around her and her eyes become golden. "Seeds of the dark side planted by your past experiences. Do you feel it?"
"No! I vow to be like no other Jedi," Ahsoka replies. "Passionate, impulsive, I may be, but I would be a hero among this Order. Perhaps the next Grandmaster if I have anything to say about it."
"You are still young," the older Togruta replies, seeming disappointed if not amused with what Ahsoka just said. "They will never appoint someone like you to the rank of the Grandmaster, not when you are too emotionally attached to others and lacking qualities in the modern-day Jedi. That is the cruel reality of it all, Ahsoka Tano, to never meet up to their needs. You still have much to learn."
The younger Togruta never liked being spoken to like she was just a Youngling. While she is, that doesn't mean she has little experience with how the galaxy works. She has been around long enough and Master Koon refers to her as the greatest Padawan he ever encountered. She must be living up to the hopes of the Jedi Order to some degree when one among the Jedi Council is supporting her and absolutely overseeing her training.
But that is hardly an achievement. There are many Masters who had high potential that never even caught the Jedi Council's interest and merely are people who she never even spoken to. Yes, she would protect them, but that is because they are her siblings in the Force and have been the moment she joined the Jedi Order, not because she cared about them in general.
That's what every Jedi believe their prime obligation is. They are to protect and shield members of their Order at all cost; their first obligation is to the people of the galaxy who depends on them for safety. They always have an alliance with one another which led to the Sith destroying themselves.
"Be warn, you may never see your future if you remain under the control of the Jedi Order! Do know that they would betray you in the future and no one, sans one, would stand by you! Leave this Temple! Seek out your destiny before you are destroyed with the rest of these fools!"
And Ahsoka awakes, seeing that she has collapsed onto the floor. She can sense it is dark outside, the stars aligning, the full moon dawning over a Temple which doesn't feel as safe as it once did. It is almost as if there is someone from the shadows watching her every movement, observing her.
Ahsoka cannot help but feel the urge to run. To leave the Jedi Temple, at least to seek out the nagging sensation in her head. She trusts the Jedi, but would they cast her aside at the end when she needs them the most? They have shown signs of caring about her affectionately despite their misgivings as of late.
Ahsoka didn't want to believe that Master Plo would ever allow the Jedi to betray her. The Kel Dor Jedi Master has always been a shoulder of support from the moment he saved her from the bounty hunter all those years ago, and if the time came to where she is betrayed by the Order, surely, he would be the one who comes to her defense.
Would he?
Ahsoka didn't believe in that statement as much as she would have mere hours ago. She didn't consider the possibility of the Jedi Council betraying her, so who's to say he wouldn't stand beside them in her time of desperation? She needs the answers. She needs to find out what she is going to do from here on out. Remain a Jedi and fight for their approval? Leave the Jedi Order knowing the observation that would be placed? Sneak out of the Jedi Temple and seek out answers?
'Ahsoka.'
And someone is standing in front of her.
She is instantly consumed in darkness once more, and Ahsoka Tano knows no more.
The people of Tatooine have set up monthly celebrations from the ceremony of Jabba the Hutt's death. Even the town of Mos Eisley is more festive than normal. Children scurry around, giggling and playing, causing more senior individuals to all smile and laugh indulgently. Even in such an uncertain time the beaming faces of children never failed to brighten up a room.
In the spirit of the festivities going on at the moment most of the guards are using the time to enjoy times with their family, taking a break from all the work to relax and enjoy themselves.
In one of the many empty training halls, the sound of faux combat ring out as a training droid collides into the wall from a Force Push, its comrades sidestepping the hapless machine with their training sabers active. These droids have been found and programmed to serve their crew namely for training purposes.
They quickly form a circle around their single opponent, falling into stances in each of the lightsaber styles, even those such as the Sith Shien.
The droids' programming concludes that now is the time to strike. The man dodges, his hands jabbing upwards and catching them whenever they leave themselves up, as if they are opponents, not caring about the blades angling all too close to his throat.
The Force User reaches for his belt and activates his lightsaber in under a minute, an orange glow blending out, two additional bits flaring out from the perpendicular point of the weapon, only a few inches long. As for their enemy, he adopts his favored form of Soresu blended with Ataru.
As one of the machines attacks their opponent, and with a twirl of his crossguard lightsaber, he enters the fray with gusto, not at all deterred by the numbers arrayed against him. He has been training for so long since the moment he was injured, his respirator and armored form having adjusted his movements and this new life as a whole.
One droid opens with a classic downward chop from the Djem So form, which is deftly blocked by the human before he counter-advances with a twirling swing towards its wrist. The droid blocks this attack itself, pushing the human male back into the blades of its comrades, their designated orders being to disarm him and at last forced him to submit as he has programmed them to do.
They all begin raining down strikes on him at once, forcing the human male to twirl, dodge, deflect, parry, and counter at a literal break-neck pace. Even with their arithmetic superiority and the reality that at the moment each one is programmed with the rough skill level of an average Jedi Master; the training droids cannot land a single assault upon their opponent. At the same time, none of them has suffered any true damage, but that was entirely because the male hopes to train ruthlessly in every form.
This persists for a full minute, with the former Jedi twirling his lightsaber around him like the blade is an extension of his own arm. At this point, he had suffered a few grazes from the droids' training sabers, which now is placing plenty of non-permanent wounds despite how much they add to the injury, therefore the sparring session still continues. Eventually, a mistake formulates in one of the droid's move sets, and the human male exploits it for maximum advantage.
Now twirling his lightsaber in a clockwise direction, he reverts the droid's training saber to the side, leaving its chest open for a fatal death. With a minor use of Repulse, he forces the rest of the droids to stagger back, giving him the time, he requires to take out this now vulnerable enemy.
Diverting his lightsaber from his left hand to his right hand, the grip over his weapon is now held in a more orthodox forward grip. He thrusts forward and strikes the droid in its chest, right where his machine's organs are opened. As his saber was set to training mode as well the blade didn't pierce the chassis, rather a sensor panel was placed in the area that would inform the droid's AI that it had been "killed". With a flash of red on the panel and a shrill alarm, the machine collapses like a puppet with its strings cut.
He turns to face the rest of the droids, pointing his lightsaber at them. They close in on him. Kenobi is still swift despite his current predicament, chopping another down, the only reason why it wasn't eviscerated is that the man's lightsaber is in training mode.
Obi-Wan swerves to the right just as a training lightsaber stabs him through the shoulder. Force, he made a mistake. He needs to improve in his offense! He can make quick work of them!
He quickly returns to his posture from before. The former Jedi Padawan is swinging around and evading one of the training droids, disarming the machine before stabbing and 'killing it'. Three of them team up with each other at once, but they are not capable of stopping him.
He turns around, expecting to see more rushing to engage him, but upon seeing them all deactivated, he is momentarily confused. He reverses the grip on his saber and parries the assault aimed at his back. The sound of one lightsaber meeting another once again fills the hall, and the man turns to see Anakin Skywalker pushing against him with a concentrated stance.
Even with the months passing since Obi-Wan had been placed with this respirator, the agony never go away. This is a new life for him, and despite his meditation sessions with Vader, the painful life his life has become never goes away. The armor was working and it doesn't hurt him, but it hurts to not be able to live his life as much as he could used to.
Life support systems are terrible.
Instead of giving up just like that, Obi-Wan wishes to continue his training, sending a barrage of assaults against the protege of Vader. He wishes to test his abilities against someone who would not be simple to defeat and has ever so unkindly interrupted his training session. He would love to send this one onto his rump.
Anakin deflects each of the strikes before offering his own counteroffensive and sending Obi-Wan backward. Ever the defensive fighter, Kenobi counters all of the strikes send at him, before forming a bit of the Force into his hands and almost sending his temporary opponent flying backward has it not been for the formulation of the shield that protects him.
Strategically performing lightsaber arcs around Obi-Wan, Anakin is grinning as he begins sending Obi-Wan stumbling backward the more they are fighting with their lightsabers. Luckily, both of their lightsabers are on training modes, and perhaps had Obi-Wan been without this blasted condition that he is not used to, perhaps he would have managed to cast Anakin aside.
Obi-Wan is determined to wipe that smirk off his lips. In a split second, Anakin is now being forced on the defensive, his blade driving into the air against Obi-Wan's lightsaber. They find themselves swinging their lightsabers at one another in an endless volley of strikes and slices.
Anakin finally changes his tactic, pulling away from the engagement and falling into the Niman form, taking that moment to attack aggressively with everything he has. Skywalker quickens to move away from Kenobi, making the man feel a smirk crawling across his lips behind his respirator. So, he is learning slowly but surely. That is a relieving feeling.
Now, if he can continue to press until he is at last triumphant...
Obi-Wan simply isn't agile enough to properly utilize Makashi, at least not yet. Using his lightsaber as a distraction, Anakin kicks Kenobi in the sternum, stumbling him a pace or two back and knocking the air from his lungs. Gasping for breath, Kenobi is ill-suited to half his next strike, just as the lightsaber lands in Skywalker's left hand.
Anakin aims his lightsaber at Kenobi's throat. Once upon a time, Anakin would have never been able to stand against Obi-Wan, but now he is stronger out of both of them and would end whatever battle that they would have won. Environmentally speaking, Obi-Wan perhaps would be able to find a way to gain an advantage and a high ground if he uses Skywalker's still noticeable arrogance. On the same ground, however, Anakin would win every time because he would tire Obi-Wan out in whatever situation.
"You really need a break," Anakin says in a scolding tone, deactivating his weapon and helping Obi-Wan up and lending him his lightsaber. Previously, Kenobi expected a taunt but is surprised that his younger friend would condemn him. Is it possible Anakin noticed Obi-Wan training intensely?
"I would get a break when I'm dead," Obi-Wan snarls. He would have never said something like that before, but times have changed, and Obi-Wan has been the one who changed the most out of all of them.
"Obi-Wan, I know you are suffering and wish to prevent further injury, but don't you think you need to calm down?" he inquires.
Obi-Wan growls though it sounds like a roar in no small part due to his respirator. "There's a war going on, Anakin! The Jedi would be attacking as fiercely as Windu did in the future! How long before Master Yoda comes after us?! I would not allow myself to get hurt as much as I did months ago!"
Placing the lightsaber on his belt, Obi-Wan arches one eyebrow. "Do you wish to elaborate why you interrupted my session? I was busy and was seconds away from wiping them out!"
Anakin shoots an exaggerated glance at the training droids, including the ones that had been "eliminated" just now moving back to their recess in the wall to recharge themselves and run diagnostics. "I'd hardly call fifteen on one a simple sparring session, Obi-Wan. You are training so hard, and stress can kill a person. This has to stop."
Obi-Wan sneers, his mask covering it however. "It wasn't you who was injured by the Jedi - at least not as cripplingly, Anakin!" Kenobi eyes Anakin's three scars across his face. "You were the fortunate one of us! Me; I have to some sort of life support system attached just so I could live!"
Anakin frowns, though something within himself seems to be remorseful. Perhaps he can understand Obi-Wan to some degree what's it like to be trapped in a life that he doesn't want.
"I know but that's not the point. Come on, everyone's celebrating, and you are missing out!" Anakin shouts, sick and tired of Obi-Wan's seclusion with everyone. "Can we spend time with one another for once?! You are always closing me off along with Qui-Gon and everyone else these days! Do something else for once!"
He moves to drag him along with him, heading to whatever celebration or party he had in mind, but Obi-Wan brushes his hand away, standing resolutely in his current spot. "You go on ahead, Anakin, spend some time with your mother. I still have some training to get done."
Obi-Wan hates giving Anakin the cold shoulder like this. After all, the child has always been a kind presence ever since they met. Not exactly a son, but a younger brother.
Anakin turns back to his friend - someone who has been like a brother for nearly 9 years now-, a look of true worry now on his face. "Obi-Wan, you've already been in here for ten hours; I think you've done enough for the day…"
At that Obi-Wan adopts an annoyed air, his face set in a minor glare and his arms crossed. He didn't want to hurt Anakin's feelings, but his physical status would have to be taken into consideration. "I said I still have some training to do, Anakin, and I want to be left alone. It is only a matter of time before we fight further Jedi and I don't wish to be bested again."
Now Anakin crosses his arms as well. "You're exhausted, Obi-Wan, I can both feel it and tell just by looking at you. I can see your eyes, Obi-Wan."
'One thing you still have.'
"There's no point in training if you're just going to run yourself into complete torture. Everyone needs some relaxation time to time at least sometimes, including you. You are a human and your name is Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan's irritation only intensifies. Didn't he see that he had no time for those things? A mere celebration that occurs every month is nothing on top of his priorities because those people get to live happy and normal lives.
If Anakin wouldn't listen to him, then he shall bring out the big guns.
"There's a war going on with trained Force Users, Anakin!" Obi-Wan shouts, his eyes turning a dark blue. He would never hurt Anakin physically but he wouldn't hesitate to do so verbally. "Every moment I spend not preparing myself to fight means I could not be as lucky as I was next time! And you want me to relax?!"
"Obi-Wan…" Anakin murmurs, appalled and even more apprehensive at his outburst. The older human didn't notice, however, instead turning around and hugging himself. This is a rare moment where the man finds himself growing emotional in no small part due to the trauma he suffered back in his fight with Windu.
"You are not the one with a respirator and has to change every lifestyle you ever had!" Obi-Wan continues, trembling and appearing seconds away from losing all of his composure. "I have to live like this now, and everyone is already looking at me as if I am an ugly freak! Perhaps I am! Perhaps I deserve this for underestimating the Jedi!"
Anakin stands his ground, now staring above the respirator to lock eyes with his friend. "Obi-Wan, you are not ugly. I love you. I know it's rough but I'm trying to help you. I didn't put you in that respirator and would remove it from you if I could, but the thing is that your injury to your chest is too intense for you to breathe properly. I-I would do anything I can to help you if you let me!"
Kenobi hisses, something within his chest swelling. "Well, good luck! You know what's funny; I think I came to feel refreshing with this new breathing method! It's almost a part of me now!" Anakin is disturbed deeply at the almost bitter amusement that is radiating off of the former Jedi. "I might love this feeling; I have grown stronger and more powerful. It is my new life after all, and removing my respirator would be pointless if I have to put it back on."
Anakin closes his eyes and stares down onto the ground, both of his hands involuntarily clenching up into fists. He is fighting from within himself to argue with his best friend. The raging emotions that are coursing off of him which Kenobi can interpret are a telltale sign of this.
"I'm sorry, Obi-Wan, I wish things can go back to the ways it was," Anakin responds solemnly, closing his eyes and feeling nothing short of guilt. He feels as if he can do nothing to help his brother figure and that makes the throbbing agony within his chest intensify.
Obi-Wan didn't have it within him to be angry with his friend, not with those pleading blue orbs. After all, it is not his fault he ended up in this miserable imprisonment which he would have to live off of now.
"Just go," he growls, not wanting to look at him. He was nothing but a shadow of what he once was, someone who would have to live off a respirator. However, nothing would be the same even should he be granted with removing this respirator one day.
He would have to still depend on technology in one way to keep himself alive.
He senses the conflict within Anakin at his statement, desperately attempting to decide if he should stay or follow his commands and give him space. Eventually, he settles for a mixture of the two.
"I'm just a holocall away if you need me, ok?" he says, putting his hand on his shoulder. "You're not alone. You never would be, and remember that."
With that, he turns and walks out of the training room, his footsteps fading as his silhouette disappears down the hallways. Obi-Wan simply stands where he is, holding himself as if to ward off a pervading chill. Is that all that he does? Screw things up?
He might as well have broken the bond with Anakin, who in hindsight, was only trying to help him.
He shouldn't have snapped at him, he knows. Anakin is only trying to help and be a good friend, and not to mention he also suffered his own injuries which would never be healed. However, he couldn't help it. Ever since that day and his first encounter with Windu, both of their personalities had undergone a stark change.
Both didn't laugh and joke around as much as they used to, and more time was dedicated to training and study than before especially on Obi-Wan's part. His skills, and physically improved impressively, but at the distinct cost of interactions with his fellow crew members.
What had just happened with Anakin was a prime example; he was displaying the sort of patience he would have expected from Vader in this matter, but all the same, their relationship wasn't the same as it once was. Their banter had become less of an occurrence, joint training sessions that they used to hold regularly had decreased dramatically, and there was a noticeable strain in their interactions that hadn't been present before.
Obi-Wan hated that things had become distant like this, he really, truly did. But he couldn't afford distractions as there is a possibility he would have to fight against Windu once more or even Yoda, knowing his luck. He had to get stronger.
He could not allow the Jedi to beat him so thoroughly again. If hurting Anakin keeps him safe, then Obi-Wan has no choice.
It had been over half a year since they had fought, but that day had resonated within Obi-Wan's mind with every passing moment. It had opened his eyes to the fact that he was not prepared, not skilled enough, not intelligent enough. In the span of only a few minutes his first engagement with the Jedi had confirmed what Vader was saying about them, his loyalty to them being nothing but a kriffing waste, martial skills made into a joke, and such mistakes that had led him into facing such a fate with a respirator.
Obi-Wan meant nothing to them.
Ever since then, his dreams had evolved into nightmarish renditions of that horrible fight, replaying in him over, over, over again like a macabre holodrama trapped in an endless loop. Sometimes, they are much worse; such as the ones where Anakin is struck down by the Jedi or even Qui-Gon, is impaled in the back by Master Windu.
He would make sure that would never end!
Obi-Wan holds himself tighter, his watery eyes a window to a soul racked by pain and self-doubt. He wants to go back to where it was but that may never happen again, and he would have to accept it.
Another friend gone in an unfortunate time of conflict.
These are the thoughts that had been circulating Padmé's brain for the past hour, an angry throb that just wouldn't go away. It didn't matter; she is used to such dark musings, though lately, they were much more intense and harsher. They had been plaguing her for years, slowly eating away all emotion and feeling that she supposedly once had.
Padmé stares at the dead body of Jar Jar Binks per Hologram, noticing the figure of Boss Nass along with other few Gungans, each with mournful looks at the one of the dead. While she should be angry - feel something, she finds herself incapable of feeling anything anymore. The Naboo palace blowing up as well as being at war at the standard age of 14 has made her feel shame for several years. She should feel guilt, should feel nothing but absolute failure at a close friend dying.
But instead, she feels nothing. It is almost as if she can hardly feel anything. The moment he was gunned down, Padmé had hoped he would survive, had hardly even reacted to it, but now she is fighting to keep her emotions under control.
It is due to Jar Jar Binks that Naboo had been able to come to see Gungans as one.
And Padmé failed everyone again.
Padmé deactivates the Hologram as she sits on the chair, her head in her hands. When is this ever slowly losing people she loves going to stop? This time, it wasn't even the Jedi's fault, but for a moment, she blamed them. She blamed even her followers.
Sabé. Sola. She won't lose them.
"Padmé," Sabé says, walking up to her closest friend. "Sola wants to speak with you."
Padmé nods before she takes the Holo-Communicator, while Sabé sees it best to leave behind her close friend with her biological older sister. She hasn't talked to her blood sister for quite some time. She had begun cutting her family off because she had an insecurity that if she has gotten too close they would all die. She wishes it was as easy to do that with her former handmaidens...
The form of Sola reminds Padmé of how different she is - how much of a better person her older sister is. It wasn't so long ago before her hair was braided in that manner, that compassionate smile she longed for, not feeling the urge to draw her blaster every waking second. Sola's innocence is something she envies, but Padmé knows that she would never be able to gain it... again.
"Sister of mine," Sola greets, "I want an explanation to why you are not here on Naboo. Mom and dad has been hoping to see you, and quite frankly so do I!"
"I don't deserve to be there," Padmé replies softly. "I failed him, Sola, I wanted to help him! I-I tried!"
"There was already an explanation to how he died. You know that you couldn't have helped him, Padmé, he was shot and nothing you would have done would have been able to prevent that." Sola replies solemnly.
Padmé's eyes flash with no small amount of rage. "Yes, everyone's saying that! Everyone I love dies around me! It is my fault because I am incapable of keeping everyone safe! Just because I didn't see it coming doesn't mean he couldn't have been saved! I allowed myself to be opened up to weakness and it caused yet another friend his life! I-it should have been me!"
"Padmé..."
Padmé snarls. "I don't want to talk about it anymore!"
Sola's eyes are pleading. "Padmé..."
"I said!" Padmé growls, slamming her hand down onto the holo-communicator each time she speaks a word. "I don't want to talk about it!" It is smashed by the time she is finished before she throws it into the corner. "Damn it! I hate this! I hate having to live like this! People think I am a monster! That I want this!"
Padmé collapses onto the floor and she can feel water going down her eyes. She wants to go back, but total helplessness and the loss of her innocence...
She doesn't have an anchor. Everyone around her assumes that she changed, that she's a being who doesn't give a shit. Her former handmaidens are the only one who understands her because they have faced similar trauma, but none faced the intense amount of failure. Even the dream world is not as peaceful as it once was.
She's losing friends seemingly every waking moment. Her relationship with her family has been strained. She has been naturally drawn to violence, having sadistic dreams of killing everyone who crossed her.
Padmé doesn't even hesitate as she stands up and grabs her rough piece of durasteel, tears going down her eyes as she drags it down her arm, leaving a long red gash. Blood pours from that particular spot, almost uncontrollable, a gash that would require healing. She doesn't grimace.
Padmé smirks unnaturally. She cares little about the pain that comes immediately after. The grunt comes out of her mouth. It is a weakness to think that she is hurting. She is too weak even despite trying to be strong. She is still that frightened girl who is trying to follow a warrior's path only for a source of comfort.
It is after all just another wound.
Another wound that would fix itself in time.
Shmi turns to see Qui-Gon walking up to her. Their relationship has been odd. She is angry with how the Jedi hurt her son, but she has to admit to having mixed feelings about how an Order that her son was once inspired to follow is now standing as one of the people that have made their life unbearable for the past eight years.
Now, she finds herself glad that they weren't able to brainwash them. While Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are certainly kind men, the rest of the Jedi appears to be as hypocritical as the slavers.
"Hello there," Shmi states the moment she can see him entering, only able to see from the mirror. "I can see that you are still holding your place in all your doubts.'
Qui-Gon shakes his head as he closes his eyes. "I'm still a Jedi at heart notwithstanding your beliefs, Madam Skywalker. I would defend the innocent but even I have to admit there are flaws within the Jedi Order. That does not mean I would betray what defines us at the core despite how many within the Order appears to be lost as of the moment, undoubtedly believing me as a traitor to the true purpose. I miss them. I feel like a monster.'
Shmi turns around and walks up to him, placing her hand on his shoulder and squeezing gently. "You are a good man, Qui-Gon. You have shown more kindness than a lot of people that I have crossed in my life, and while Vader is mainly responsible for saving me, I cannot forget the fact that you saved my son from slavery and was going to give him a better future."
Qui-Gon appears unconvinced despite himself, finally speaking a confession. "I only did it because of his potential. Not because I cared about any of you. I am just as lost as the Order."
"But you realize your mistake unlike your fellow Jedi comrades," Shmi replies, almost shaking him at this point, her grip convincing the Jedi she is not going to let him go. "You cannot blame yourself for the actions of the past but instead move on and accept the present while creating a better future."
"I'm a Jedi. And while I may no longer be among the Order, I am still a sole protector of peace and justice. Without that Order, I am lost but I am still trying to pick up the pieces." Qui-Gon replies. "Part of me is selfish, seeking happiness for myself even at the suspension of others accomplishing such happiness. I find myself struggling with dark emotions! My apprentice faced my failures!"
"You are a living and breathing individuals. A person with feelings. You can seek anything you want because it is natural. It happens to everyone, Qui-Gon."
"When I accepted the codes of the Jedi, that means I have forfeited my pride and own wishes. Necessary sacrifices, but I am now almost regretful of leaving them. The truth is I know I have only half a century to live. Longer if only due to the Force but I still feel like my whole life has been useless." Qui-Gon replies, any argument that he may have had hanging limp as his arms right now.
"Then maybe you should start thinking about your own wants."
"How... can I think of my own wants when I don't even know what they are?" Qui-Gon replies with a bitter chuckle. "Like I said before, I'm still a Jedi at heart and there is no changing that." He throws up his hands. "I shouldn't even be feeling these emotions. I haven't been among that Order for the past 8 years and I should know what I want to do sooner or later, but it feels like my attachment to the Order has blinded me from my own needs. We as Jedi are meant to protect the Republic. I guess I am nothing but a fool."
"The Republic didn't care for slavery," Shmi replies sharply. "You clearly do not. You were just delusional, not a fool. You deluded yourself in believing that the Republic you were fighting for is the Republic that impose law and fairness among all others, not the one using slavery but also losing pretty words to cover those crimes up. You were manipulated like many of your fellow Jedi undoubtedly was."
"I guess you are right about that," Qui-Gon admits. "While always corrupted, the Republic has hardly been the same since the battle of Naboo and appears worse than I imagine. Now all of the corruption are bringing brought to light and I can't believe I allowed the system to fall this far."
"You are a simple man, Qui-Gon! Not a politician!" Shmi feels like tearing her hair out at his stubbornness.
"I know-"
"You don't! If you did, you would stop blaming yourself like this!"
Qui-Gon only stares down, his face obviously showing his conflicting emotions. She can hardly believe a man that was muscular when she first saw him, showing an unwavering source of compassion is now reduced to a man who appears haunted by recent events.
"We made too many mistakes. As Jedi, we are meant to sustain peace and justice instead of following one side unless the circumstances requires otherwise. Getting involved with a conflict such as the battle with Naboo or slavery was certainly not a mistake but we have lost much of our credibility."
Shmi smiles softly. "You are following a different path and so are your fellow Jedi."
Jinn simply nods.
"I wonder... my son has been seeing events in his sleep, and I know it because of what he told me. Have you seen any? Have you seen any with Vader?"
Jinn nods, stunned by that admission. "Yes. In each of them, Vader wins one way or another. He's one of the main reasons why I fear for the future of the Order especially since it is possible that he could kill many Jedi that can't be sway to our cause. I want to avoid such a travesty, but if push comes to shove, Vader would have to fight the whole Order eventually. Ten thousand Jedi, and none of them would be able to defeat the likes of him."
"He's a brilliant fighter," Shmi admits, having seen firsthand what he can do. "So, him winning is not unlikely but he appears to be motivated by changing the system for the better."
"Damn it, he is so confusing! Vader is someone who avoids civilian casualties in time of battle but he wouldn't shy away from killing or wounding those who get in his way! He touches both the light and the dark and even has taught me a few things! Why can't the answers be clearer and more understandable?!" Qui-Gon exclaims. He is quivering with emotions he seems to no longer be able to suppress.
"He is confusing because you believe him to be," Shmi responds. "Stop worrying about Vader especially since his recent intentions have been moral. Again, I ask you: What about you, Qui-Gon? And please do not answer concerning around the Jedi." The woman takes a step closer to him, noticeably in shoulder reach. "Not Vader." Another one and she is about to touch him. "What about the man who has his own needs? Stop denying who you are and start accepting things. Stop living in distrust of a man who you don't know aside from being warned of by that Order who failed you, Qui-Gon. I too am afraid because I have imagined the slavers coming for me. We are like mirror copies of one another in many different ways."
Both of their feelings are out of place, but they both have... fear about the future... longing... needs...
"There has always been something between us. I can sense the Force Bond forged between us years back which appears to be growing stronger. I-I don't know how to properly express but..."
"I don't either," she interrupts, gripping his cheek.
Passions consume both of them as their lips touch at long last and the former Jedi and slave are lost to the taste of vanilla.
Arthur's note: I ship Qui-Gon and Shmi, and I decided why not give these two underrated characters an actual arc. Too many stories have them suffer terrible treatment where one of them dies or they become individuals that just stand as Anakin's mentors with almost no character and these are two characters that I actually see together had Star Wars been less tragic.
Why their relationship seem rush? It's because they have been with each other for eight years and are good friends. They are after all people who are at the prime of their lives and have their own wishes and ambitions. They also have opposite qualities which attracts both of them.
May the Force be with you all always.