A/N: I just wanna say thank you for waiting! I appreciate it that you read this story and keep waiting for updates ^^

Without further ado... Enjoy!

Hermione was glad when Lily was back at the castle, happy to spend some time with a girl. Don't get her wrong, she loved the marauders, she really did. But two weeks with only them and then the events of that one horrible night… Let's just say she could use a break. Especially, since her relationship with the boys was still a little strained. They were all still so careful with each other, thinking over every comment, every move at least twice. Her relationship with Sirius more so than her relationship with the others.

It was only natural though that such a shift in behaviour caught the attention of several students. The marauders pulled less pranks and when they did pull some, they were small, innocent ones at best. People also noted that Sirius kept a little more to the background of things, not always looking for attention like he did before the holiday. And if it was obvious for people who didn't even know them that well, then it was very obvious for Lily to note that something was wrong.

"What happened?" It was a Sunday, the sun was out and the weather was pleasant. They were sitting at the lake, feet dipped into the cool water, just sitting there, calm, relaxed.

"Hmm?"

"What happened during break? And don't you dare say 'nothing', we both know you'd be lying." She watched as the brunette took in a breath, gathering her thoughts. How much could she tell? How much was she allowed to tell? What did she have to keep for herself? Did Lily know Remus was a werewolf? Probably, but she couldn't risk it in case she didn't know. Where does she start explaining?

"A few things happened, actually," she said as she laid her head on the redhead's shoulder. "But it all happened so sudden, it's a little difficult to explain."

"Just try, we'll see where we get."

"Well, everything was fine at first but then one day everything just… just fell apart. It started with Snape. You know how he is, always making spiteful comments. The marauders – specifically Sirius – didn't react well."

"What happened?" she asked when the brunette had fallen silent.

"Sirius was angry, like borderline furious. He decided to get back at Snape." She knew that she couldn't tell what he had done or why he had done it, but she had to tell her something. "I don't exactly know what happened. The only thing I know is that I was walking back to Gryffindor tower from the library and the next thing I know is that this feeling of pure panic has me in its grip."

She took a moment to breathe. "Everything after that is kind of a blur. The only thing I remember was that the boys and I spend almost the entire day in the infirmary, exhausted, drained. And then I yelled at Sirius and there were also a few words between the boys and – well, this is the result of everything I guess," she finished in a sigh, like it had made her tired just talking about it.

"The infirmary?" Lily asked as she pulled back, looking at Hermione to look where she was hurt.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." She let out half a chuckle at Lily's obvious worry. "I wasn't in there because I was hurt. I was in there to keep the boys company." They went back to their previous sitting position.

"Why didn't you write to me? I told you that you could write if you needed me, remember?"

"I – I just didn't want to worry you. It happened the last few days of break and you deserve to spend time with your family without worrying about things like this. Plus, I was still processing what had happened, it was quite a lot."

"I appreciate the sentiment, but you know as well as I do that I spent more time fighting at home than I do enjoying my time there. If something like this happens again, write me. If you need me, write me. Okay?"

"Okay." They went back to looking at the lake, just sitting there. "Why do you still go home? if all you do is fight, then why do you still go home?"

"I don't know. Because they're my family?" It came out more as a question than a statement. "I love my parents and even though I fight with my sister all the time, I still love her. I just can't bring myself to hate her. But me being a witch… Well, let's just say that my relationship with everyone back home became… strained."

"I wish I had a sister like you. Sometimes I feel like you're my older sister, I like that."

"You don't have a sister?"

"No sister and no brother. I'm an only child."

"Being an older sister, I wonder what that feels like. My sister is older than me, you see." She hummed. "I would have liked to have you as my younger sister."

The marauders were also spending the day outside, soaking up the first real warm rays of sunlight. They were just lounging around beneath one of the trees by the lake. Remus was reading, James was playing with his snitch, Peter was reading a comic of his own and Sirius… Sirius was just leaning against the trunk of the tree, looking straight ahead of him. He was still beating himself up about the whole ordeal, wouldn't let it go, couldn't let it go.

Why had he done that? It was a question he had asked himself nonstop the past few days, yet he couldn't come up with an answer. At least not an answer that justified what he had done. He only remembered being so angry, so furious that he had to get back at Snape at all costs. And what good did it do? Look what it had done. He had betrayed one of his best friends, something he swore he would never do. He had hurt his friends, had put them in a situation that, if not for Hermione and James, could have gone so horribly wrong.

Hermione. Not only had he hurt his friends, he had hurt her too. He could still see her face, the look in her eyes: pure panic and distress. He will never forget that look. When she started hitting him, he let her. He just stood there and took it, knowing he deserved so much worse.

He shifted his gaze to the right, looking at the witch in question. She had hardly said anything to him ever since that night. She was thinking and rethinking every word she said, every movement she made. At least when it came to him. He knew. She didn't say anything but she didn't have to. He knew.

It was less noticeable with the others. You could even say that between her and the other three hardly anything had changed but there was still this small awkwardness. It made him think about the time she just got to Hogwarts, the way she would avoid everyone to the best of her abilities. She was finally opening up after all that time and he just brought her back to square one. What was wrong with him?

He kept looking as she sat there with Lily, huddled together, probably talking. What was going on? Why did he keep looking for her wherever he went? Why did it bother him so much what she said and did? Why couldn't he forget that hurtful look? Why did he want her attention? Why couldn't he look away? Now or at any other moment? What was that feeling in his chest? And why did he even feel it?

So many questions, so many thoughts swirling in his mind, yet he couldn't come up with a single answer.

"-ds. Pads," James said a little louder. Sirius turned to look at him. "You okay, mate?" he asked, no teasing tone in his voice whatsoever.

Sirius just hummed and looked back to where the two witches were sitting. James followed his gaze.

"Aahh," he said, understanding what went on in his mind. Or at least having an inkling of what was going on inside his head. "Can't get her out of your head?"

"I keep seeing her face. The way she looked so afraid an distressed. What have I done? What do I do?" He pushed his hair back.

The look in James' eyes was soft, gentle. "She'll come around."

"She won't even look at me properly, let alone talk to me. She hardly said anything to me since that night, Prongs."

"Just give her some time." Silence fell between them. not an awkward one, not a strained one. Just silence. And he was glad for that, a sign that things were going back to normal.

"What else are you thinking about?" Most people would be surprised but James and Sirius could have a serious conversation, with each other and with other people. Seeing where Sirius had grown up and seeing he had needed someone to vent to, had needed someone to go to when he ran away, well… let's just say that serious conversations were more common than not. And they had helped him immensely. So yeah, they could hold a serious conversation.

"Just wondering what's wrong with me. Maybe my family messed me up more than I thought. I mean, why did I do that? Why do I have this… this feeling in my chest? Why keep I seeing her face?" He sounded genuinely confused, a little upset even.

"I can't answer that first question but I do have an idea about the other ones."

"Then tell me, please."

"You love Hermione, Sirius. Maybe 'love' is a little strong but you definitely like her." Sirius looked genuinely confused, like that wasn't possible, not for him anyway. He just couldn't accept that answer.

"But how?"

"I don't know. Such things just happen." Silence returned between them and, just like the two girls they had been watching only a moment ago, they just sat there and looked at the lake.