Chapter 10 – Your Savior is Here

DISCLAIMER: We do not own Star Wars or any of the characters in it, though we wish we did. xD

Author's Note: Anakin's childhood dreams... Maybe they aren't quite so far out of reach after all...?

~ Amina Gila

Ten-year-old Anakin slips out of bed and paces around his room, careful not to make any sound. The last thing he wants is to let Sidious know he's still awake. He grumbles under his breath, cursing the Sith Lord in Huttese. He hates him so much. He has no idea how someone who is so important to the galaxy – the Chancellor, no less – could treat him like this. He carefully probes his back, wincing when his fingers connect with the bruises on his ribs.

He doesn't think any of them are broken, but he's really not sure. His left arm hurts too, where a training droid had scored several hits. He can't learn to use a lightsaber that fast, even if he is extraordinarily strong. Sighing, he rests his arms on the window frame and looks out at Naboo. He misses his mother immensely. Ever since her arrival, he's only been allowed to see her once, and that was a couple months ago. Maybe he'll be able to see her before he turns eleven in a few months from now.

While he doesn't know for sure, he suspects that Cliegg Lars has talked to his mother far more than he. He doesn't really know the man, but his mother wants to marry him, something which is now impossible since she's now on Naboo. Sidious has promised that they can return to Tatooine to visit him at some indefinite point in the future, and he's looking forward to it, even if he doesn't want to return to that dust ball.

His mind soon turns to Count Dooku. Anakin can't find it in himself to dislike him. The former Jedi has always been nice to him. Unlike Sidious, he actually seems to care for him, and never ever electrocutes him. He seems to find it despicable. Anakin banishes the thought almost instantly, flinching away from it like a scared animal. He won't think about it. It's far too painful. He had never realized electricity could be so painful, or that the Force could be misused, but as long as his mother is safe, he'll accept whatever is given to him.

Letting out a shaky breath, he checks the shields around his mind, making sure that no one can sense any stray thoughts or emotions. Shielding his mind and Force presence were some of the first techniques that Dooku taught to him. The Count privately disagrees with Sidious on how the corruption in the galaxy needs to be fixed, but he would never say so to his face. That doesn't mean he doesn't spend time explaining the situation and his ideas to Anakin.

As his thoughts spiral down a dark path, Anakin finds himself wishing, not for the first time, that someone could save him. He yearns for someone – anyone, really – to rescue him from the Sith's grasp. He doesn't want to be evil – he doesn't! – but he knows that he's not being given a choice. Just like when he was a slave to Watto and Gardulla the Hutt, he has to do whatever he's told.

So, I'm still a slave, he thinks bitterly, shaking his head. Why can't anyone help him? There is Padme… His mind drifts to the beautiful queen of Naboo. Even if he managed to tell her, she would probably never believe him. She doesn't even know enough about the Force to believe Palpatine is Sidious, he decides. Besides, she's not strong enough to confront a Sith Lord and live. Sidious is far too strong for her.

Is there anyone at all who can help him? Qui-Gon is dead, thanks to Sidious' former apprentice, Maul, and the Jedi don't even care about him. They gave him to Sidious and never bothered checking on him, uncaring as to his fate. Then, he remembers Obi-Wan. An image of the man's face appears in his mind when he thinks about him. He could help; he probably would if he knew where to look. They'd hardly had a chance to spend time together, but he knows they could have gotten along well.

I'm sorry, Anakin. I want to train you, but the Council won't let me. Obi-Wan's words echo through his mind. He could almost feel the Jedi's regret, and he desperately longs to see him again. He truly and deeply cares for him, emotions which are likely influenced by the Force bond they share. They are meant to be together. He knows it, but he doesn't know how such a thing could ever occur.

Come and save me, he wishes desperately, taking the risk of trying to reach out to Obi-Wan through their bond. He doesn't know how communication through bonds – especially weak ones – is done, but he hopes he can do it. He doesn't want to spend his whole life like this: a slave, being tortured. How can anyone even live like this? Anakin closes his eyes, fighting back tears as he reaches out to the Force, trying to find comfort within it.

Let Obi-Wan save me, he silently orders the Force, keeping the thought carefully shielded. He knows he's shamelessly begging the Force for him, but he doesn't care. It ripples around him, possibly in comfort, or possibly trying to tell him something he can't understand. He lets himself imagine, just for a moment, what it would be like if Obi-Wan showed up to save him.

Count Dooku often talks to him about Qui-Gon and how proud he was of his former Padawan, sometimes mentioning Obi-Wan and how promising he is. Anakin knows that Dooku misses Qui-Gon and hopes to get Obi-Wan to become his apprentice. He wants to kill Sidious and take his place – something Anakin wholeheartedly supports. As long as Sidious is alive, they will never be able to make the galaxy a better place.

His musings are interrupted by a noise outside his room. He creeps to his bedroom door and listens carefully. Who could be up at this time of night? Maybe Dooku is coming to give Sidious an update on something?

His question is answered when he hears Dooku's voice somewhere down the hall. "Master, I have a report for you."

"Speak, Lord Tyrannus. What have you discovered?" rasps Sidious, his voice tinged with a dark glee, one which definitely comes from using the Dark Side.

"It pertains to the Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi," replies Dooku slowly.

Anakin can feel the Sith Lord's interest perk, and he holds his breath, straining to hear the conversation and drawing on the Force to assist him. "He created an uproar in the Jedi Order when he refused to take a Padawan despite the Council's instructions," reports Dooku.

"Why are you reporting this to me?" inquires Sidious curiously.

"He called out the Council on their treatment of Anakin," Dooku explains. "He declared publicly that what they did was wrong, and he'll never train anyone other than young Skywalker." Anakin can distinctly hear a note of – is that wistfulness? – in the Sith's voice.

Sidious chuckles darkly, "Well, we shall see if Kenobi's opinion changes when the young boy he wishes to train kills him."

"With all due respect, Master," Tyrannus interjects quietly, "I think Obi-Wan would make a powerful Sith in our Empire."

"Can he be turned?" questions Sidious.

"He will turn or die," promises Tyrannus.

"Very well," replies Sidious shortly, and moments later, Anakin hears a bedroom door close. He jumps, startled, and scurries back to his bed. It would be best if no one learns he overheard. Even Dooku could punish him, albeit not as harshly.

The sound of footsteps in the hallway grow closer, stopping outside his bedroom door. Moments later, it opens, and the Force tells him it's Dooku. I'm asleep! thinks Anakin frantically, no, I'm not awake! He keeps his eyes closed, carefully manipulating the Force around him to give Dooku the impression that he's really sleeping.

Dooku chuckles softly. "I know you're awake, Anakin, but you almost had me fooled. Perhaps I should not have taught you that trick yet," he murmurs, voice barely above a whisper, "And I know you heard what I told Lord Sidious." He glides into the room, not making a sound.

With a sigh, Anakin sits up and slides out of bed, meeting Tyrannus' blue eyes reluctantly. "I did," he confesses, surprised to see the compassion in his eyes. He hadn't expected to see it, especially now. Maybe he wasn't as careful in shielding his emotions as he'd thought.

"You'd better forget you heard it," Dooku tells him gently. "Sidious will never let Kenobi, or any Jedi, get near you." Traces of sympathy leak into his tone.

Anakin nods, his gaze dropping down to the floor. This time, he's unable to stop the tears from flooding his eyes. It's cruel to hope for something that one knows will never happen. All one will ever get is a broken heart and shattered dreams. Anakin knows it, but still clings fiercely to the hope that he can be saved from Sidious' hands.

"It's not fair," Anakin blurts out, wincing when the words escape, turning away from Dooku. "How can he do this to me?" This means everything. Make him a slave. Keep his mother a slave. Torture him. Push him far beyond his limits. Treat him like a tool to be used and sharpened – a future killing instrument.

"He's a Sith. He'll do whatever he thinks is necessary to achieve his goals," Tyrannus reminds him.

"But I don't want to be a slave anymore!" wails Anakin, clenching his fists. He jumps when a hand comes down on his shoulder.

"You won't always be," whispers Dooku, gently turning Anakin around and lifting his chin so their eyes meet. "I can promise you of that. Maybe it will be a long time, but I will not die until I take Sidious down. And then, you will be free."

Anakin bites his lip, tears escaping and tracking down his cheeks. Crying doesn't help anything. He's known that from almost before he could talk, but sometimes, it can be the best – and fastest – way to release emotions. To Anakin's surprise, Dooku pulls him closer into a gentle, comforting embrace. Anakin wraps his arms around him in turn, grateful for the comfort, silently yearning for the day he'll finally be free.

**w**

Anakin isn't sure what time it is when he awakens, but he feels far more comfortable than he should. It doesn't take long from him to notice that someone – Obi-Wan, because there's no one else in here – had tucked the blankets in around him. He rolls over, throwing them off, spying the Jedi sitting in what must be a meditative position on the floor a couple feet away.

He exhales, flopping back on the floor. There's really nothing he has to do down here, so he'll try to enjoy the quiet while it lasts. It's almost laughable, actually. He hates the quiet. Silence traps him within his own mind, and Force knows there's so much he can be trapped in. If the Jedi weren't down here, he'd probably begin to go insane. "How are you feeling, Anakin?" Obi-Wan's voice is a notch softer than it was before.

Last night. Anakin clenches his jaw, pushing the thoughts aside. It doesn't matter. That was a moment of weakness. He will not lower himself to depend on Jedi. "I've been better," he replies brusquely. If he lies, they'll know. He's too emotionally exhausted to wear a mask. He sits up again, pushing past the ache throughout his body.

Obi-Wan regards him silently, and Anakin resists the urge to squirm under his gaze. He has nothing to feel guilty or conscious over. "What do you know about the Light Side?"

The question is so sudden that he's completely taken aback. "It's weak," he answers immediately, repeating what Sidious has always told him. "It can never compare with the true power of the Dark Side."

"Do you really believe that?" Obi-Wan questions gently.

Anakin snorts. "I know it. I've killed – oh, I don't even remember or care how many Jedi, but I've come out on top every time." He pauses, thinking about the differences between the two sides of the Force and remembers what Dooku has told him. "But there is only one Force. It depends how you choose to use it. Is that what you're getting at?"

"Yes, you're right," the Jedi murmurs. "There is only one Force. What do you see as the difference between the sides?"

Anakin raises an eyebrow, silently challenging him. He doesn't see any point behind the questions, but it's not as though he can leave or find something better to do. "The use of emotions." He recalls Dooku had mentioned it to him. "The Dark Side relies on all emotions, which is why it's more powerful. The Light Side focuses on calmness." He rolls his eyes. "That's a myth. No one can eliminate emotions. Ignoring them makes you weak."

"I was wondering if you knew the difference between the two sides," Obi-Wan explains. "I didn't think it was something that Sidious would have taught you."

"He didn't. Dooku did," Anakin replies shortly.

"I don't suppose that Sidious knows that though," Ahsoka comments, voice raised to carry across the hall and through both ray shields. Anakin shifts closer to the entrance, moving closer to the red wall of energy.

"No, he doesn't," he confirms.

"You're very close to that," Obi-Wan warns him, a hint of concern in his voice.

Anakin lets his head fall back against the wall. "I am aware, but touching it isn't fatal. I know. I've done it before." In one of the endless days when he couldn't bear the dark and silence. He'd thrown himself against the shield, bracing himself for what he'd expected would be an excruciating death. Instead, he'd been electrocuted until he went unconscious. It wasn't a pleasant experience, and he never tried again.

Obi-Wan looks stricken. Maybe he hadn't said it as nonchalantly as he'd hoped – or maybe Jedi simply have ridiculously accurate intuition. "Is there no way for you to escape from Sidious?" he queries. He doesn't feel nearly as calm as he sounds.

He's shaking his head even before the question is done being asked. "I won't sacrifice my mother," he tells them. "She can't leave. Her transmitter is still activated. If she strays too far from the mansion, she'll be blown up."

"Can't we get it out of her?" demands Ahsoka. Anakin can clearly feel her horror.

He shrugs. "Possibly. I've been too scared to find out lest I set it off. I don't know much about them." He subconsciously rubs his finger on his right thigh where his own implant had been. The Jedi had deactivated it, and he'd insisted Dooku remove it.

"I'll look into it," Obi-Wan assures him. "I might be able to locate it using the Force. I'm surprised that Dooku hasn't done anything about it."

"We're not ready to take on Sidious," Anakin admits. "He has contingency plans for everything. We don't know the extent of his plans yet, and until we do, we're not going to leave."

"I'll help you," Obi-Wan states firmly. "Ahsoka and I will get you out of here. No one should have to live like this."

Anakin can't help but feel a surge of warmth. They certainly are not regular Jedi; they actually care what happens to him. He couldn't have chosen anyone better to have captured. "We can't act until we know what to do," Anakin cautions them.

"I know, Skyguy." Ahsoka's tone is laced with a touch of fondness.

"Can you meditate?" Obi-Wan's question takes him by surprise again. Does the Jedi enjoy throwing out questions to take him off balance?

"Meditate?" he echoes, grimacing. "Yes, but I hate it. I'm incapable of finding any calm. Dooku says I should be able to –" He pauses, biting his lip. "I – I think I'm too damaged to find even the slightest sense of balance." The admission is quiet, and he ducks his head, unwilling to meet anyone's eyes.

"Anakin." He twitches but doesn't move even when Obi-Wan rests a gentle hand on his shoulder, sending a comforting wave through the Force. "Anakin, you're not –" broken. Obi-Wan chokes on the word, cutting himself off mid-sentence. "Don't think that like," he amends finally, squeezing Anakin's shoulder. "I can never forgive myself for what happened to you, and I'm never going to leave you."

Words. They're just words. They mean nothing unless backed up by action. He really needs to stop spilling things to both of them. That information can be used against him just as easily as for him. He doesn't – refuses to – crave comfort that badly. He risks glancing up, looking away when he meets Obi-Wan's eyes, sorrow swirling within them.

"Why would Sith try to find calm?" Gratitude wells up when Ahsoka changes the topic. He hadn't wanted to dwell on his weaknesses anymore. "I thought they focused on their emotions."

"Well, yes, they do," agrees Anakin. "Dooku is trying to teach me control, but I can't control my emotions unless I can find a measure of calm to draw more effectively on their power."

"But Sith use dark emotions, the opposite of a state of calm," Obi-Wan points out.

"That is a misconception," Anakin corrects. "Sith use emotions, in general. Love. Hate. Anger. Pain. All of them are useful. Dooku will probably explain it better to you."

"How will we escape?" asks Ahsoka hesitantly.

"That is something we'll have to wait on," Anakin answers, meeting her eyes through the ray shields separating them. "We can't plan anything until we get out of here, and that won't happen unless you use the Dark Side." She looks to be on the verge of protesting, but he silences her with a single shake of his head. "If you refuse, Sidious will break you the same way he broke me." He's grateful his voice betrays no emotion as he says the words.

"How about where?" Obi-Wan talks atop the strained silence which follows. "The safest place I know is the Jedi Temple, but I doubt they would be particularly receptive of you."

Anakin snorts mirthlessly. "They'd arrest me for killing Jedi, and Sidious would convince them that I should be tried by the Senate. He'd get me back without even having to try." If that happens, he will kill himself. If he leaves, he's not going back.

Obi-Wan sighs lightly. "I won't let Sidious get you," he murmurs, sincerity shining in his eyes. "I'll do whatever I must to prevent it."

"Even go against the Jedi Order?" questions Anakin, skeptically.

For a heartbeat, Obi-Wan doesn't move. Then he nods. "If I must."

Despite his disbelief, Anakin feels something – he thinks it's hope. Maybe Obi-Wan can save him, but does he really trust the Jedi enough to let them try? He knows he shouldn't because they're Jedi. They're the enemy, but they've proved over and over that they care. He already knows the answer in his heart. For the better or worse, he's willing to trust that Obi-Wan and Ahsoka will help him, even against the Jedi Order.

He's killed a lot people, and while he occasionally feels guilt, he rarely regrets it either. If the Jedi Order gets ahold of him, his life will be over. If they don't kill him, Sidious will. "Why?" Anakin asks simply, looking between them. "Why would you do it? I'm a Sith. I have blood on my hands. I've killed… a lot of people." More than he cares to admit.

"Yes," agrees Obi-Wan, "You have killed people, but that doesn't mean you want to. The Force has put me in a position where I can save you. If I had known where you were, I would have saved you years ago, Anakin." Ahsoka nods emphatically, though she doesn't speak.

His words render Anakin speechless for a moment, and he finds that he can't meet Obi-Wan's gaze. "I'm not the boy you remember, Obi-Wan," he reminds him quietly.

"I know." Obi-Wan's tone expresses an understanding far deeper than what Anakin had expected. He doesn't know what Anakin has done, but he doesn't seem to care either. He's willing to accept Anakin for who he is. Maybe last night won't be forgotten easily.

"We don't care what you've done, Skyguy," Ahsoka echoes his thoughts. The confirmation tears at him, evoking emotions he's unwilling to confront.

"Would you want to become a Jedi?" Obi-Wan queries softly.

Anakin smiles bitterly. "No. They're hypocrites. They abandoned me, yet they still claim to be protectors of peace when they wouldn't even protect me." Obi-Wan simply nods, accepting the answer, not even trying to defend the Order. Perhaps, Anakin wonders, he actually agrees.

"I can still teach you," Obi-Wan offers, a glint of something – hope? – in his blue-gray eyes. "The Council would probably never let you be a Jedi, but that doesn't mean I need to obey them. They've done enough harm already." His words remind Anakin that Obi-Wan had wanted to train him. They can never reclaim the lost years, but they can create something new, and Anakin doesn't find himself shying away at the thought.

"I would like that," he admits, surprising all of them with his words. Ahsoka sends him a wave of support through the Force. Sidious can't take them away from him. He won't let him.