Chapter 14 – A Question of Guilt

DISCLAIMER: We do not own Star Wars or any of the characters in it, though we wish we did. xD

Author's Note: Things continue changing... and familiar faces appear. ;)

~ Amina Gila

No one moves until the door to the dungeon swings closed behind Dooku. The click of the lock which echoes faintly down the hall seems to shatter whatever control Anakin has achieved. "Ahsoka?" he whispers, staring at her pleadingly. I'm so sorry. I didn't know he was going to do this to you. I didn't want you to get hurt. Please don't hate me. "Snips," he tries again when she doesn't respond immediately, moving towards her cautiously.

A choked noise escapes her as she steps away, her back hitting the wall. Her legs buckle, and she slides to the floor. "Force, what did I do?" Her voice is barely audible, and she sounds dazed.

"You did what you had to do to survive," Anakin answers immediately, kneeling a few feet from her. "Just like I did."

"Ahsoka," Obi-Wan moves closer, crouching down next to her. "It's okay not to be alright. No one would be."

"But why did I have to do it?" she all but wails, tears beginning to run down her cheeks as she blinks them away furiously. "None of this would have happened if Anakin hadn't kidnapped me in the first place. I would be at the Temple instead of being trapped here with a heartless Sith Lord who wants me to be a monster like him."

"I'm sorry," Anakin mumbles miserably. He leans back against the wall, pulling up his knees and wrapping his arms around them. Somehow, he feels that she wouldn't react very well if he tried to offer comfort to her. In the Force, her emotions are a maelstrom, far too complex to begin understanding, but she's clearly hurting. And it's all his fault.

He watches as Obi-Wan rests a comforting hand on Ahsoka's arm. "We'll work through this, Ahsoka," he says softly. He doesn't say everything will be alright, because it would be a lie. None of them know what will happen, and they can't make predictions like that. Maybe nothing will be alright. Maybe they'll find peace. So many possibilities and no sense of direction.

After a moment, she starts crying in earnest. "I – I – I k-killed them," she sobs.

Obi-Wan rests an arm around her shoulders, but it's Anakin who speaks. "If you hadn't, they would have suffered," he tells her, a resigned note in his voice. "Trust me. I've seen it happen before many times." Too many times.

When she touches him through their weak Force bond, he knows that she needs his comfort now. There are some things Obi-Wan can't help with. Silently, Anakin scoots over to her, sitting cross-legged next to her, his knee touching her leg. "Skyguy." Ahsoka's voice is so quiet, Anakin isn't sure if he heard it through the Force or his ears. "Does it ever get better?" He knows what she's asking. The unfathomable, all-consuming guilt. The knowledge that your actions have snuffed out another living being.

Anakin shifts closer, resting a hand on her back. "Yes and no," he replies finally. "You can learn to accept it perhaps, but with time, there may be so many you can't – won't – remember their faces or how they died." She tilts her head, tear-filled eyes peering at him. In their depths, he can see a self-loathing, a numbness with which he is too familiar.

He leans over, wrapping his arms around her and cradling her close against him. He doesn't move, even when Obi-Wan rests a hand on his shoulder. Part of him can't believe that this is what had to happen. He hadn't planned for it, hadn't expected it, and now, it's as though the days they spent together are nothing more than a distant memory. Anakin finds himself blinking against a sudden onslaught of tears as it finally sinks in that Ahsoka won't be the same. She's lost her innocence now, and though the damage can be repaired, it can never be undone.

**w**

They're still in the same place when the dungeon door opens at least an hour later, a chill creeping out through the Force. Sidious. Anakin pulls away from the comforting embrace of Ahsoka and Obi-Wan, subconsciously straightening out his robes. To the best of his knowledge, Sidious doesn't even know that they're in the same cell. Please, please let him not insist that they be moved for any reason. He doesn't think he could bear it.

The Sith strides down the hall with a casualness to his step, finally coming to a stop outside the ray shield. He studies them, almost as though their creatures to be experimented on. A slow, malicious smile spreads across his face, sending a chill down Anakin's spine. "Well, I can't say that I'm very surprised," he chuckles darkly. "I should have expected to find you all here. I knew I sensed a bond between you." Somehow, Anakin gets a terrible sense of foreboding.

"Master Kenobi," he continues slowly, "Your weakness has cost your apprentice greatly. I can feel her pain, anger, fear, guilt. She is already lost because of you. Everything that happened was your doing." Sidious shakes his head, gaze drifting past Obi-Wan and towards Ahsoka, who is still sitting in the corner. "You should never have had to experience that, my dear," he tells her in a grandfatherly tone, which only makes Anakin want to run him through with a lightsaber. "It was most unfortunate, but it was necessary."

"It was necessary for nothing except your own sadistic pleasure," Ahsoka spits. Anakin finds himself mildly amused – and horrified – by her spunk. Sidious seems to be in a good mood; hopefully, it will last.

The Sith shakes his head, the same eerie smile never leaving his face. "Oh, my dear, you speak so quickly when you don't even understand."

"I hate it when you call me that!" she yells suddenly, the sudden surge of fury taking Anakin off guard. Force, he can understand it all too well. He had never dared speak like that to his master, but he certainly did experience the same emotions as Ahsoka is after his first murders.

"I will speak to you however I choose," Sidious hisses, threateningly. "I am your master now." Ahsoka glares at him but doesn't push her luck. Smart. It probably wouldn't have ended well if she did. Anakin catches Obi-Wan's uneasy expression, and a closer scrutiny tells him that something is amiss. When they have a chance, he needs to talk to him.

To Anakin's surprise, Sidious deactivates the ray shield. "I would like to test your combat skills. Come with me." Oh. This Anakin can do easily, but he's not so sure about Ahsoka. Obi-Wan is a Jedi Knight, so he should be able to hold his own. Ahsoka is another story.

He doesn't let the thought linger. Sidious likely won't kill her, especially now that she's been firmly ensnared by the Dark Side. Tentatively, Anakin probes towards her. She doesn't seem scared, just angry. The scars, he knows, will take a long time to fade. His own actions hardly bother him. This was far from the first time he killed – or tortured. He's used to the brutality, but then again, it would be hard not to be, especially having been raised by a Sith Lord.

Casting a discreet glance at Sidious, Anakin nudges at Obi-Wan. Their bond is blocked, but he can still catch an echo of something. The Jedi seems troubled – about Ahsoka? About Sidious' words? He doesn't know why, but he intends to find out. Probably, it's a mixture of both.

He's pulled from his musings when they arrive outside the door to the training room. He pretends not to notice how Ahsoka's breath hitches as they enter, her fear and guilt radiating into the Force. He sends her a silent wave of encouragement but stands stiffly at attention. He won't give Sidious any reason to be upset with his conduct.

"Your lightsabers are there," Sidious informs them curtly, motioning to a cabinet on the other side of the room. He moves over to the controls for the training droids. "Lord Vader, you will go first. Show our guests your skill."

Anakin reaches out a hand, his lightsaber flying to his grip. He ignites it as he moves into the center of the room, senses on high alert. The droids never leave this side of the room, so Obi-Wan and Ahsoka won't need to be concerned with a surprise attack. It's fine. He's done this over and over and over. Now isn't any different.

He's not surprised when six training droids whir towards him and open fire. They're set on murder mode alright. They always are. Without the slightest hesitation, he opens himself to the Dark Side, drawing it in as he spins his lightsaber, moving as though he was born with it. He rolls under them, coming up to slash one of them apart before dodging another barrage of blaster fire. He skillfully deflects it, exploding a second. Four to go.

Training has been his release so many times. He stops holding back his emotions and lets them flood out, sharpening his movements and enhancing his precision. He uses the Force to crush a third droid, shoving the fourth away into the fifth. While they recover, he throws his lightsaber at the sixth, slicing it apart. A minute later, the droids are strewn all over the floor, but Anakin doesn't get a chance to recover, because two MagnaGuards march towards him, waving their electrostaffs. They were specially designed to fight against lightsaber wielders.

Anakin takes up an opening stance, lunging towards them before they can attack him. He's a Sith. Attacking is part of his nature. His lightsaber crashes into the electrostaff, and he whirls, parrying a strike from the other. The knowledge that Sidious is watching and analyzing his every move, only makes him work harder to succeed.

Instinctively, he knows this fight will be far easier than many of the ones he's faced over the past many years, because there's only two MagnaGuards. Much to his relief, he manages to defeat them with relative ease. Sidious is studying him appraisingly when he turns towards the others, extinguishing his lightsaber and clipping it to his belt. "Faster than before," Sidious nods with satisfaction. "Master Kenobi, it's your turn."

Anakin moves to put his lightsaber back in the cabinet – he's still a prisoner, so he won't be allowed to keep it – and stands near Ahsoka as Obi-Wan ignites his blue lightsaber, standing patiently while waiting for the attack to come. Anakin has never seen him fight, and he's curious to know what styles and forms he favors. Out of the corner of his eye, he catches Ahsoka giving him an awed glance.

"That was impressive," she mumbles under her breath, just loud enough for him to hear. He casts her a small, quick smile before focusing on Obi-Wan again. He has no doubt that Sidious will want them to spar with each other, so knowing their moves will be extremely useful.

**w**

"Obi-Wan, you seem troubled about something," Anakin comments as they sit in their cell, eating their evening meal. "What is it?"

"It's nothing," he replies quickly. Too quickly.

Anakin raises an unimpressed eyebrow. He can read people well enough to know when they're evading the question. "If it was nothing, you wouldn't be bothered," he points out, hesitating a moment. "Is it about what Sidious said?"

Obi-Wan twitches but doesn't answer. Anakin realizes that he can now distinctly feel a hint of guilt radiating from the other man. Sighing, he sets the tray on the floor, staring at Obi-Wan seriously. "What happened is through no fault of your own, Obi-Wan," he reminds him sternly. Something in his voice catches the Jedi's attention, and he looks up, meeting Anakin's unwavering gaze.

"You cannot let Sidious get to you like this," Anakin warns. "His words mean nothing. He is trying to get you to feel this way. Don't let him do it. If you become trapped by your guilt, you won't be able to help us. You won't even want to because you'll think it will make the situation worse." In a way, Anakin can't believe that he's really saying all this. He knows these things from personal experience and telling Obi-Wan makes him feel oddly exposed.

Obi-Wan looks down at his plate, toying with the food, though he doesn't keep eating. "I know," he says finally, voice devoid of emotion.

"You know but you can't accept it, is that it?" Anakin queries gently. Again, Obi-Wan doesn't answer. Ahsoka looks up but soon goes back to eating in silence, clearly deciding to let Anakin handle the conversation. "If you don't want to Fall, then you need to let it go," he states firmly, leaving no room for argument in his tone. An unreadable look flashes across Obi-Wan's face.

"It's okay, Master Obi-Wan," Ahsoka pipes up. "You need to take time to figure out how to feel about everything. You don't need to support everyone all the time. It's not like we're going anywhere. At least one of us should avoid being messed up," she adds wryly.

"Can you drop it?" Obi-Wan asks wearily.

"Only if you promise to sort it out instead of burying it," Anakin insists. "It will get out of control if you do." He picks up his tray again and stirs his food, taking another bite.

The silence drags on so long, that Anakin isn't sure if Obi-Wan is even planning to respond. "I promise," he murmurs finally, glancing up at Anakin again.

**w**

Ahsoka lays on the floor, staring up at the ceiling while Anakin tells them a vaguely humorous story which happened to him eight years ago. "Did it really explode?" she wonders, turning her head to look at Anakin. He's leaning half against Obi-Wan and half on the wall; it's one of the first times she's ever seen him offer comfort instead of simply accepting it. Their time here is changing all of them.

Anakin snorts at the memory. "Not quite, but Dooku wasn't exactly happy. It was the last time he let me 'upgrade' a starship, at least until I was older. That was a very unusual model of ship anyways." He waves his hand dismissively. "It was bound to have problems. I still don't know it was my fault that it happened."

Obi-Wan gives Anakin a flat look, but there's a small smile playing on his face. The atmosphere is depressive, and Ahsoka is glad to see Anakin taking the initiative to lighten it. Usually, it was always her or Obi-Wan. Whatever he might have said next is interrupted when the dungeon door slides open. She automatically stiffens, relaxing only when she feels Dooku's presence.

"Dooku," Anakin greets him, when he stops in front of the ray shield, not bothering to move from his – presumably comfortable – position against Obi-Wan. "Any news? Or is there another reason you're here?"

"Can I not simply be here to visit?" Dooku counters. "Does there have to be a reason?"

Anakin hums, eyes roaming across the cell wall opposite him. "We were just talking about the time your ship malfunctioned after I modified it."

"Very entertaining, I'm sure," the Count answers dryly, pausing before he continues, "As a matter of fact, I only came to see how you're doing after what happened earlier."

"We've been better," Ahsoka offers, sitting up to better look at him.

"I have no doubt about that," Dooku replies, "And I wanted to tell you that Sidious seemed quite pleased with the results of your practice earlier. I suspect he'll have you duel against Anakin, though I very much doubt you will actually succeed in beating him."

"Of course not," mumbles Anakin, eyes alight with mischief.

Dooku ignores the comment. "When does Sidious intend to return to Coruscant?" Obi-Wan wants to know. It's one of the few things he's said since Anakin talked to him earlier.

"In a few days I suspect," Dooku informs him. "He can't be here for long. Depending on the situation, he may even be called back tomorrow or the day after."

"I never thought I'd be grateful for galactic war," mutters Anakin. Ahsoka has to agree. It's only because of the war that they might be able to avoid long-term encounters with Sidious. But it's only because of the war that they're here in the first place. There are always two sides to every coin, she supposes.

"While I'm here, I feel I should give you advice," the Count says with deliberate slowness. He looks at each of them in turn. His blue eyes – tinted red by the ray shield – seem to pierce right though Ahsoka. "Everything which has happened, everything which you have done is not on your heads. Sidious planned it. He manipulated you. What you did was done under duress, so don't beat yourselves up over it."

"That's what I was telling them," Anakin declares, giving Obi-Wan a sideways look. Ahsoka deliberately refrains from thinking about the clones' dead bodies laying at her feet after she killed them. She will not think about it now. It's not important. It's not relevant. It's certainly not helpful. The memories will wait to be analyzed at a later date.

"Good." Dooku's tone conveys a great deal of satisfaction mingled with relief. "If Anakin tells you something, you should listen. He's been with Sidious long enough to know how to survive him. It's hard, but not impossible."

If you don't want to Fall, then you need to let it go. Anakin's words drift to her mind again. They may have been directed at Obi-Wan, but they're also true for her. Or is it too late? Did she Fall simply by killing unarmed prisoners? The thought scares her enough that she hastily pushes it aside, locking it behind a durasteel wall. There will be time enough for later assessment.

"Dooku, are there other prisoners?" Anakin asks quietly. Ahsoka tenses. As much as she doesn't want to hear the answer, she needs to know.

He sighs, suddenly seeming weary. "Yes," he admits. "There are. Sidious captured fourteen clones from the Battle of Geonosis. I don't know if he'll want you to kill them all, but he does want information out of them. I expect you'll be asked to help."

"How would we do that?" Ahsoka questions hesitantly, resting one hand on the hard floor.

"You could try mind tricking, but I don't know it would work." Dooku shakes his head slowly. "More than likely, the information will have to be unwillingly imparted."

"Which means torture," Anakin finishes the unspoken words.

Obi-Wan tenses, casting an almost worried look at Anakin. Ahsoka can understand his concern. Words could never do justice to the emotional storm she experienced when watching Anakin electrocute someone to death. Towards them, he'd opened up, showing how caring he is, but in that moment, she was scared of him. He looked like a cold-hearted Sith Lord. She can't even begin to imagine how he can go from one extreme to the other so rapidly. It would have to be taxing on his mental state, or maybe it reveals how unstable he is.

That thought makes her shudder, and she nearly misses Dooku's next words. "One of the clones is a lieutenant, something I discovered by accident. He's a member of the 501st Legion. Incidentally, many of their men were killed or injured. I believe all of our prisoners are part of that division." She files the information away for later analysis.

Anakin sits forward, eyes intent. "Is there anything else you know?"

"Not for certain," Dooku concedes, "But I suspect there is another clone who is higher ranking."

"How high ranking?" Now, Obi-Wan seems interested in the information.

"I believe there is a captain here," Dooku informs them, clasping his hands behind his back.

"Perhaps we can get their assistance," Obi-Wan murmurs thoughtfully, stroking his beard.

"That's actually a good idea," Ahsoka interjects, eyes darting between the others. She hopes that the clones would agree to help them, even if Anakin is technically a Sith.

"This clone. Who is he?" There's a hint of curiosity in Anakin's voice.

"His number is CT-7567, but the others call him Rex."

Final Note: I enjoy your reviews so much! I love hearing what you think about everything which is happening. Thank you for all the support you've shown me! If there's anything in particular which you might like to see, just let me know. I've not written much further, so there will be many opportunities for me to incorporate suggestions. :P