Chapter 27 – His Angel

DISCLAIMER: We do not own Star Wars or any of the characters in it, though we wish we did. xD

Author's Note: Flashbacks of Anakin, Padme, and their relationship. Someone asked, so I decided to include it. And also, I was thinking about a certain Anidala fan of mine when I wrote this. ;)

I'm hoping to keep regular updates (aka every other week), but since I haven't worked on this fic for a while, they may become monthly until I can get further in writing... I'll let you know when I decide. :P

~ Amina Gila

It's after his first successful solo mission, two years after he first lost his hand, that Sidious informs Anakin in no uncertain terms that he will be accompanying him to a celebration on Naboo as a reward. He can't help but think that he's being treated like a wild pet someone hopes to tame: giving him treats for good work and hurting him for misbehavior or failing. It irks him terribly and more than that, it hurts. There's no end in sight, at least he doesn't see one, much as Dooku insists to the contrary.

Still, he dutifully obeys like the good like slave he is, and dresses appropriately, hoping that this… celebration will be more interesting that it sounds. What he hadn't been expecting upon his arrival was to be reintroduced to Queen Amidala. She's even more beautiful than he remembered, and the fond, delighted look in her brown eyes warms him thoroughly. He no longer regrets coming; in fact, he's glad he did.

"Ani," she says, and her tone – soft, gentle, accepting – is different from anything he's used to. The only one who speaks to him as if he's a person, not a slave, not someone to be treated as if he's fragile, not a Sith, is his mother. And now Padme. He thinks that she is indeed an angel, come to grace him with her radiant presence. "It's so good to see you again. I'm glad you're doing well."

"I could say the same," Anakin finally murmurs, feeling stiff and awkward in his master's presence. He wants him to leave, to give him a moment with Padme when they can be alone, when he can finally drop some of his masks.

It takes about half an hour before Sidious seems convinced that Anakin will do alright, because like everything else, this is some sort of test to see how well he can interact with others while maintaining his façade. Once he's wandered off to speak to some of the others, probably collaborators or likewise, Anakin unobtrusively makes his way over to Padme. She's in the middle of a discussion with someone – a politician of some level most likely – and is projecting her boredom and irritation into the Force.

She's relieved to see him and excuses herself, moving to stand next to him. "How have things been?" she queries kindly. "I heard all about what the Council did, rejecting you, and I told them off the next time I saw them."

"Thank you," he replies, unsure if it's the correct response, "But that really wasn't necessary, Your Majesty."

She waves it off. "It absolutely was, and please, call me Padme." She smiles at him, a genuine look, and Anakin can't help but feel as if he's not quite as insignificant and worthless as he was only hours ago. "I don't care what the Council says. You would have been a great Jedi."

Something twists inside him at her confidence. She's… probably not wrong, but the Jedi are the enemy. They're not to be trusted. He knows that now, and Padme obviously thinks that he'll be happy to hear what she said, so he won't dispute it. But he'd rather not give her the impression that he still desires something of that nature. "It is kind of you to say that," he murmurs, "But having learned more about the Jedi, I am not confident that it would have been the best path for me after all."

Padme looks at him in surprise. "Why would you say that?"

Anakin makes a face "I've learned that the Jedi do not permit families," he explains, "And had I become a Jedi, I would never have been permitted to speak with or contact my mother again."

"Oh, that's… Would they not have made an exception for you, seeing as you knew her?" Padme wonders, putting a hand on his arm in sympathy.

He shrugs slightly. "I don't know. I don't think so."

"That's not right," his angel declares firmly. "I know how much you care for your mother. They shouldn't allow such separations. I imagine it would be highly traumatic."

Anakin thinks about how infrequently he's seen his mother, how much he's missed her, and wonders if it would really have been different as a Jedi. It probably would have been worse, because at least now, he knows that if he obeys, she'll be safe. Before, she was a slave. He would never have known if she was hurting or even alive.

"Yes," he agrees, "It would have been."

"Stay in touch, yes?" she requests. "I would love to speak to you more."

"As my Lady commands," he replies teasingly with a half bow.

Padme laughs and swats him. "Don't go all formal on me, Ani," she scolds playfully, and he grins despite himself. She's different than everyone else he's interacted with, better in many ways, unburdened by the knowledge of what he is, of what he's done. It's… This will be good. He wants this, and he dearly hopes that he doesn't lose her friendship, because of Sidious or for any other reason.

**w**

Padme's second term as queen ends two years later, and she's appointed Senator of Naboo shortly thereafter. Anakin had promised to keep in touch with her, and he's done so to the best of her ability. He loves spending time talking to her, listening to her laugh about a joke he made, complaining to him about the burdens of being a politician who fights for justice, for the people. And… he loves her. It didn't happen all at once, and Anakin isn't even sure when exactly his feelings towards her went from friendship to something more, but he knows that she's a part of his soul. He doesn't think he could live without her, not that he's actually told her so.

Sidious is well aware of Anakin's feelings, and he doesn't approve, but he doesn't disapprove either. Anakin suspects that he's weighing the possibility that Anakin will betray him for Padme against the possibility that a romantic relationship or even a simple friendship will allow him to have more control over the Senator. Anakin can't outright refuse any requests or orders, even ones involving Padme, whether they may hurt her or not, but he can make his displeasure known, to Dooku at least.

But luckily for him, no such orders have come, except for a passing comment that Anakin should pass along anything Padme tells him which might be of importance. He has been, though he feels guilty every time he does. He's tried to reason that he's not actively harming her, that his reports will be more likely to help than hurt her, but he doesn't know that for certain. When it comes to Sidious, nothing is a guarantee except that one will be kept alive if one has a special importance to him or his plans. Everyone is a tool for Sidious.

So, Padme. She's a wonderful person, the light of his life, his angel, and since he can talk to her more than his mother, which is wrong on so many levels, they've developed a certain camaraderie. Anakin's skill with the Force allows him to read her emotions which has made them far more in sync than he'd thought possible. He suspects that she harbors feelings for him, but again, he isn't certain. He hasn't outright asked her, fearing rejection. That's always been his particular failing.

She had invited him to come with her to a gathering of the newly elected Senators as well as those who are experienced. It's somewhat traditional, according to her, since it allows the new, somewhat more inexperienced politicians to obtain allies and simply discuss the intricacies of politics with their more knowledgeable colleagues.

He's wearing black as he often does, but he had to choose something a little more fashionable than his Sith robes, not that Padme is aware that's what they are. It's almost ironic how easy it is to flaunt alliance with the Sith without anyone, even Jedi, noticing. Sidious has been doing it for years now, and on the few occasions when he's mentioned it – usually in tandem with a monologue about the idiocy of the Jedi – he's been incredibly smug.

Padme nearly does a double take when she sees him but smiles graciously up at him. "That outfit looks good on you," she compliments. "Let's hurry. I think this early exposure will be good for you if you intend on entering politics like the Chancellor." Personally, Anakin can't imagine anything more boring, but he doesn't say so. He's not that stupid.

"Thank you," he murmurs inclining his head as they climb into a speeder, with him flying, of course. "I had once considered the political arena, but I'm not sure that it really appeals to me," he admits with a laugh. "With the recent, growing unrest, and the formation of the Separatist Alliance, I've heard that the Republic may begin to splinter as more systems leave. It could mean war." It will mean war. He suspects that it'll be a year or two before it happens, but over the past two years, he's been helping train the clone soldiers on Kamino, carefully putting together a battalion of the best men who be part of his 501st Legion. He is meant to be a general.

"I don't want war," Padme declares passionately, and he nearly winces, just barely forcing himself to continue casually flying towards their destination. He thrives on war, on the thrill of battle, on the bloodlust which overwhelms him as he pursues an enemy. "If the situation deteriorates any further, then I will begin to push for a diplomatic resolution."

"I feel we will have war," Anakin says at last, staring out at the passing traffic. "If we do, then I would like to help." He gives her a long look, and she meets his gaze, face betraying few of her thoughts on the subject. "I… rather enjoy studying military campaigns and maneuvers," he admits, clenching his hands on the steering. "If it came down to it, I may be able to use my knowledge for the good of the Republic."

Padme sighs. "I do hope it doesn't come down to it, but if it does, I suppose I would be happy to know that you're out there protecting the Republic. I trust your abilities, but you are currently too young to be involved in war."

He gives her a look. "And you weren't?"

She grins back after a moment. "Point."

Their conversation is cut short when he lands. They climb from the speeder, entering the building together. A number of Senators, their aids, Representatives, and lobbyists are already present, and Padme easily mingles with the others, Anakin following her like a shadow, close enough to intervene should it be necessary, but far enough away that he won't intrude on her conversations. Besides, politics is boring, and nothing will change his mind about that.

As the time passes, Anakin sees more and more politicians trying to win Padme's favor, and it irritates him, because he knows that she isn't the type to sell her morals for anything. It doesn't help that she's fairly well known, having spoken to the Senate as a queen at the young age of fourteen before leading a campaign to free her planet from the Trade Federation. She is popular enough that her opinion, especially on crucial issues, matters. He's not ashamed to admit that he's proud of her.

"So, you are the Chancellor's adopted son," states a voice, and Anakin turns to see Senator Bail Organa of Alderaan looking down at him, a small smile on the man's face. He mentally reviews what he knows, which is admittedly little. Of note, however, is the fact that he's as pro-justice as Padme, which means that he's on Sidious' list of those who may prove to be a threat in the future. Anakin had seen him talking to Padme earlier, and he already knows that Alderaan had been in support of Naboo during the blockade. His respect for Bail isn't low.

Anakin forces a polite smile. "I am," he agrees. "I came here with Senator Amidala."

"Trying to get an early start to politics?" teases Bail.

Anakin can't help but laugh at that. "No. No. I'm not really interested in becoming a politician, but perhaps someday… Who knows? I'm here more for her." He nods his head towards Padme. "Being the Chancellor's adopted son and all… it means that I've learned far more about politics than I ever cared to know. I must admit that I am a bit concerned with the direction everything is heading, especially with the formation of the Separatist Alliance."

Bail nods soberly. "Yes," he agrees quietly, "That has become a point of much contention. We're doing our best to keep the Republic together, and the Jedi are, of course, doing their part as well, but many of us feel that it won't be enough."

"I would agree with that assessment," Anakin comments, glancing casually across the room towards Padme and seeing a man who he presumes to be a Senator standing next to her.

"I feel we ought to attempt diplomacy with the Separatist Alliance," Bail informs him. "Perhaps you should mention it to the Chancellor."

Anakin nods. "I will." And he will when he gives his report about the meeting. He very much doubts that Sidious will actually agree. Excusing himself, he meanders across the room, moving towards Padme when he sees that the Senator is still speaking with her. He doesn't recognize him – he must be new since Anakin is aware of all the human Senators – but he can already decide that he doesn't much care for him. He's obviously hitting on Padme which is not allowed.

It's getting late too, which is a good enough excuse as any. He slips up next to her, and she pauses in her discussion to introduce them. "Senator, I would like you to meet Anakin Skywalker. Anakin, this is Senator Rush Clovis," Padme introduces.

Anakin narrows his eyes ever so slightly looking the man up and down. "Pleased to meet you," he states flatly, deliberately resting a hand on Padme's arm.

"And you as well," Clovis replies, a spark of interest in his gaze, though he clearly doesn't miss the way that Anakin is standing. "You're the Chancellor's adopted son."

By now, he really wants to sigh, because almost everyone has recognized his position upon hearing his name, but still, he plasters on a tight smile and nods. "I don't mean to interrupt your conversation – I'm sure it's fascinating –" Lies and more lies. He did plan to interrupt, and he doubts it's of interest to him. He turns towards Padme. "– But it is getting a bit late, my Lady, and I was wondering if you were ready for me to escort you home."

Padme's lips quirk ever so slightly, but she checks the chrono. "Yes, indeed," she agrees, looking back at Clovis. "This has been a most enlightening conversation, Senator, and I shall be happy to work with you in the future."

"Of course," he replies graciously, obviously recognizing a dismissal when he hears one.

Anakin waits until he's out of earshot before smirking. "If you ever need me to break his nose, I'll be more than happy to do so."

Padme laughs. "That won't be necessary," she assures him. "Let's leave. I think I've gotten done almost all I can for the night."

The silence is pleasant as they fly back to Padme's apartment in 500 Republica, the same place where Sidious has an apartment which Anakin stays in when he's on Coruscant. "You don't need to leave yet," Padme tells him when they arrive at her apartment. "It's not that late, and Sabe will still be here too. Probably Corde and Dorme as well, though they might have retired for the night…"

He agrees immediately, never able to say no to his angel. "Hypothetically, if you did become a politician, what position would you aim for?" Padme queries once they're settled on either end of one of the couches in her living room, each of them holding a drink – non-alcohol, of course. Anakin doubts that his master – or Dooku – would be happy if he drank alcohol, though he doubts it would affect him significantly.

He hums quietly, thinking over the question. "Well, my main home world is Tatooine, but it's not part of the Republic. If it could be freed, I could theoretically become Senator there. I'm not interested, by the way," he hastens to assure her. "I grew up on Naboo… but you're Senator there, and I don't want to take your position anyways. You'll do so much better than I could."

"I doubt that's true," Padme chides. "You care for people. You think for their best interests instead of your own, just like you did when I ended up on Tatooine…"

If only that were true. Maybe there was a time when he did, but that changed the moment he became a Sith. He's sacrificed all his ideals and principles – albeit against his will – for a greater cause. "What are you thinking about, Ani?" she questions suddenly, studying him with something akin to concern. "You have this look on your face."

"What look?" he asks dubiously.

She doesn't answer immediately, slowly reaching out and taking his hand, his flesh one, and lacing their fingers together. He nearly stops breathing at the intimacy of it, realizing that it was a deliberate move. He wonders if she planned this from the start. "A look that you're in pain and trying to hide it," she answers quietly. "I thought maybe… I don't know." She sounds genuinely confused, and he hopes it stays that way. She can never know.

Anakin carefully blanks his face, forcing all unwanted emotions away and hiding them deep inside of him where he won't be able to feel them. "You don't have to hide from me," Padme whispers, shifting closer so that she's almost touching him. Her brown eyes are filled with more feelings than he can name, but he does recognize her desire… for him. She does love him, maybe more than he's realized, or let himself hope for. "You can tell me anything, Anakin," she adds, reaching up to cup his cheek. He unconsciously leans into the touch. "You never have to hide from me." Yes, he does, because he can't tell her the truth. He doesn't want to see her fear of him when she knows what he is.

She leans closer, and he definitely knows what she wants. He wants it, wants her, but he doesn't know if he can do this: have a relationship while hiding everything true about himself. There's nothing he can tell her, and he doesn't want their relationship to become a lie like everything else. "Do you really want this?" He can't help but ask. He doesn't want to stop her – he desperately wants to hold her, wants the comfort she can bring him – but she's too good for him. She deserves someone better, less damaged, less dark than him. Someone who isn't a Sith.

Padme smiles. "I've never wanted anything more," she confesses softly. "I want to be with you, Ani, because you're the most caring person I've ever met. You don't do things by halves, and I know that there are probably many things troubling you, but this is right." Her faith astounds him. How can she see through some of his masks to know how he's hurting, but not realize that he's a monster too? He doesn't understand it. How can she be so much like his mother, who has never once looked at him as if he's something inferior or lesser for his crimes?

"You're thinking too hard," whispers Padme and kisses him before he can decide that leaving would be better, that the heartbreak now would be better than having her and losing her when she learns the truth.

In that moment, Anakin doesn't think anything could have stopped him from pulling her closer and kissing her back. He's wanted this, her, for so long, craved her touch in a way he's never wanted anyone else's. She's a part of him, and it feels as if she was always meant to be with him like this. He pulls back enough to rest his forehead against hers and stare into her eyes. "I love you, Angel," he murmurs, "And I always will."