Chapter 31 – Changing Loyalties

DISCLAIMER: We do not own Star Wars or any of the characters in it, though we wish we did. xD

Author's Note: In which Siri reflects on the war and talks to the Council and Padme. :D

~ Amina Gila

Siri doesn't really know how to feel anymore. It's barely been two months since the war started, and her entire life seems to have been turned upside down. She can't even say what the biggest shock has been for her. Her Padawan, Ferus, was knighted immediately after the Battle of Geonosis, which led to her getting the rank of Jedi Master. Then, she was offered – and accepted – a seat on the Council, which is something she's still getting used to. Of all the Jedi, why did they pick her? She has no answer for that.

If that wasn't enough, her long-time friend was captured by the Sith – she knows that Anakin is a Sith, much as he might try to hide it, because how else could he be so powerful in the Dark Side? Siri might be a Jedi, but she still feared greatly for Obi-Wan's fate as well as that of his Padawan, Ahsoka. At least she finally has her answers, much as she might dislike hearing the truth.

Slowly, she inhales, trying to release her conflicting emotions to the Force. While she and Obi-Wan have been friends since they were young, they haven't been on the best terms for the past many years. When the Council rejected Anakin for training, Obi-Wan was livid. She can't remember a time he was more furious, and over the years, his attitude grew increasingly bitter and resentful. She can no longer count the number of times she chided him for his hostile remarks towards the Council, and it had begun to worry her. She feared that he might choose to leave the Order once more, not that she could blame him.

Siri is willing to admit that she also opposed the decision to refuse Anakin training. Though she didn't meet him, Obi-Wan told her of his strength. Perhaps if the Council had made a different choice none of them would be in this situation now. She had blamed Obi-Wan for his choices after Melida/Daan, when he left the Order to help the people on the planet. Though she'd eventually forgiven him, there was a part of her which, she thinks, was always a bit resentful. After everything they'd been through, after all the struggles Obi-Wan had faced in his fight to become a Jedi Knight – a fight in which she'd whole-heartedly supported him – he had chosen to cast it all aside as though it meant nothing. And now, he's done it again.

There is no emotion, there is peace, she recites silently. She needs to let go of her attachment to him. Even though she told him years ago that she wouldn't look back on the relationship they could have had… it's not been that easy. There have been times – many times – when she longs to touch him the way they once had. She's still in love with him, even after all this time, though she's been trying ardently to ignore that fact.

It is going to hurt when they inevitably end up facing off across the battlefield. Maybe if she was stronger, maybe if Obi-Wan was less sworn to duty, they could leave and run away together. Siri doesn't want to fight in a war; this is not who she was trained to be. In her youth, she was impulsive and reckless, attributes which lessened with time as she learned patience and calm. She was trained to be a peacekeeper, to negotiate with opposing parties. She wasn't meant to be a warrior, a general, but she has no choice. Someone has to protect the Republic, and all the Jedi must do their duty.

Her thoughts wander to Shmi, with whom she'd spoken scarcely more than a week ago. Overall, the woman seemed pleasant and kind-hearted, but Siri is certain that she's hiding something. What or how important it is, is a whole other matter, and without concrete evidence, there's nothing she can do about it. Likely, Shmi is only trying to protect Anakin, something Siri can understand, but with the future of the Republic at stake, she's willing to sacrifice a few people – even Obi-Wan – if it means that peace will be restored once more.

"General, the Jedi Council has contacted us. They wish to speak with you." Commander Cody's voice breaks into her internal monologue, and she turns towards him.

"Thank you, Commander," Siri replies, heading towards the comm center in the Star Destroyer. She has no doubt that they want to discuss the most recent broadcast and what type of response they should give. Truthfully, she doesn't even know what they could say without sounding defensive and as if they're trying to hide something or deny the truth.

When she arrives, the holograms of most of the Council members are present. Only Tiin, Piell, Rancisis, and Koth are missing. They must be on the front lines, in the middle of battle. Otherwise, they would, no doubt, be here as well. "Master Tachi, how goes the war?" queries Windu when she steps into the transmission field.

"Well enough, Masters," she answers, feeling slightly awkward. She's the youngest of all of them, the youngest Jedi to be put on the Council, and she feels so inexperienced compared with them. "We're keeping the Separatists away from our supply convoys."

"Good," Windu nods. "You did see the broadcast, correct?"

"Yes," she confirms. "What are we going to do?"

"Have answers yet we do not," Yoda tells her. "Disturbing the revelations are by Skywalker. Dangerous times these are, and many enemies the Jedi must now face."

"There has been a backlash against the Jedi in many systems," Plo adds gravely, and Siri nearly shivers. If it's not enough that the Separatists don't trust them, what will happen if their own allies turn on them as well? Was this the intention? "Some are calling for the Jedi to be entirely removed from the war effort and put on trial for crimes against humanity. They are in the minority, but we have reason to be concerned."

"The future of the Order and the galaxy is now at stake," chimes in Mundi. "If we don't reply to the broadcast, we will, in essence, be silently admitting that they're telling the truth. This was orchestrated by the Sith."

"I concur," Gallia states, and Siri instinctively finds herself focusing more intently on her former master. "Skywalker is undoubtedly the mysterious Jedi assassin we've been looking for. He's a Sith, no question about it."

"No one was disputing that," Depa points out, "But he's not the one behind this. Dooku must have planned it, or maybe his master. Or even both."

"We should focus on writing a response," Siri suggests. "It's not as if we'll be able to find the Sith overnight."

The other Council members murmur their agreement. "I can't help but wonder if Skywalker is right," Shaak Ti suddenly admits. "We did choose to reject him, and as a result, Dooku got ahold of him. Perhaps Kenobi is being manipulated –" Siri is certain he must be. There's no way that the Obi-Wan she knew would ally with the Sith much less condone Ahsoka becoming Anakin's apprentice. And then there's Barriss, who was somehow turned. "– But he raised good points about the war and the Order's non-action against slavery."

It's jarring to hear it all laid out by another Jedi, to hear that members of the Council actually agree with the enemy and question the war. Well, she does too, to an extent, but she would never admit it openly like this. Or will she? She dislikes the way the Order is heading – they shouldn't be soldiers! – and maybe she should express her own reservations. Even if nothing is done, at least she'll have spoken her part. It's not as though she's not on the Council, which means that speaking up is acceptable.

"Our hands were tied," Windu interjects firmly. "We have never wanted to be warriors. Our job is to bring peace, to give people the resources to help themselves."

"But perhaps more we could have done," Yoda adds. His ears twitch – almost sadly – as he looks around at the others.

"We have made efforts against slavers, but the Senate won't allow us to do much," Depa comments. "I would have liked to do more. It's not as though we've been ignoring their plight."

"I agree with Shaak Ti," Plo announces. "It would be best if we pursued a peaceful resolution to the war. Perhaps we should suggest this to the Chancellor and ask him if we might try to at least speak with Dooku."

Siri is shaking her head, even before he's done speaking. "He'll insist that the Senate vote before giving us the authority to take such drastic actions. We're at war because the Senate authorized the creation of a Republic military force, and look where that got us? I don't think it will work."

"We can still try it," Gallia points out.

"All in favor of requesting that the Chancellor permit us to attempt a diplomatic solution," states Windu, glancing between the other masters.

Siri ponders what she should vote for only a moment before voting affirmatively. She wants peace, does she not? She wants to be a peacekeeper, not a general. The vote is unanimous. Everyone concurs that it would be best to at least attempt a peaceful solution, though Siri suspects that they all think it will fail. At least they can say they tried.

"I do not like the idea of negotiating with Sith." Mundi sounds disapproving, and Siri understands and agrees with him completely. She's loath to find peace with a long-term enemy of the Jedi, but in the end, peace matters more than her own principles. If the galaxy doesn't suffer, if the Sith agree to peace – what a laughable thought – then why should she protest?

"It will not be long-term solution," Windu asserts. "The Sith are far too warrior-like and bent on destroying the Jedi for us to allow them to continue existing."

She completely agrees. Unless the Sith change their ways, something which is unlikely, then they cannot be permitted to wander the galaxy. They're far too dangerous. "That is something which will take time," Depa says. "Perhaps we should seek a means of stopping the Sith once and for all. They will not make it easy for us to find them, even if they do agree to peace."

"If we want more information, we should start with Skywalker's mother on Naboo," Plo points out. "She ought to have knowledge of her son's skills. Even if she cannot tell us of his whereabouts, she can still offer us assistance."

"I'm not sure that she would actually betray him like that," Gallia muses. "I imagine we will have to find another source to help us."

"That is a matter for another time, I believe," Shaak Ti interjects. "What will we tell the public in response to the broadcast?" That's the exact question which Siri has been asking herself since before the meeting even began.

"Admit to our faults we must and take responsibility for our actions we will," Yoda answers serenely. Siri really hopes that she's not going to be put in charge of helping draft something, because it sounds like an exceedingly difficult task. The entire future of the Order is at stake, and if they make a mistake now, it could have far-reaching consequences beyond what they can probably imagine.

Regardless of what they decide, nothing will ever be the same. Jedi aren't meant to be involved in politics, but now, they no longer have a choice. Political games abound during wartime, and whether for better or worse, the Order has been sucked into the middle of the most recent controversy.

**w**

Padme has heard the buzz in the Senate after the broadcast. It hurt to see Anakin speaking out so openly and brazenly against the Republic and Order, backed up by Obi-Wan and Ahsoka, but she can understand where he's coming from. The hurts he experienced during his childhood as a slave have made him who he is; they've shaped his life forever, and it's not something he can forget, even if he wants to. So instead, he's fighting back.

And she refuses to believe that the Republic is as lost as Obi-Wan is making it sound. It can be fixed. It will simply take time and patience. Crime is an issue, especially in the Outer Rim. She knows that, and she also knows that once they're able to bring an end to this conflict, they can focus on some of those problems. She'd hardly been a Senator before the war broke out, and unfortunately, there are many who are profiting. They don't have any regard for those who are being hurt, and as a result, they have no interest in ending the war either. That's why any attempts at suggesting a diplomatic resolution go nowhere.

While Padme isn't exactly happy with how the Jedi Order handled Anakin's situation, she does still have great respect for them. Be that as it may, Anakin did point out a number of glaring issues which the Order has, even if they are biased. He suffered for their mistakes but dwelling on the past won't help. They need to move on. They need to learn and become better. And clearly, they are. She was pleased to see the Council's official response to the broadcast, admitting that they have not done as much about slavery as they would like, mainly because of their limited numbers and the Senate's restrictions.

They aren't wrong. They're peacekeepers, not warriors, and they don't have the numbers to launch large-scale operations throughout the Outer Rim against the crime lords without turning it into a massive war. They hesitated, but according to their response, they have helped slaves and taken down some of the smaller slave rings in recent decades. Perhaps everyone is looking at the situation wrong. Perhaps instead of relying on themselves, the Jedi need to enlist the help of the affected peoples and systems. The Senate might not approve, but if it's an internal matter, their ability to interfere is limited.

Padme is pondering the situation in her office, trying to ignore the quiet ache in her chest at seeing Anakin and his new companions speaking out against everything she's fighting for, when her comm beeps. When she answers, a hologram of Siri appears. "Siri! I'm so glad to hear from you!" she exclaims, surprised by the unexpected call.

The Jedi Master looks worn and exhausted, but she still smiles. "I'm certain you've seen the Council's official response to the broadcast, right?" she questions.

Padme nods. "Yes, I did. In fact, I was planning on proposing a bill in the Senate to give the Jedi Order more leeway when it comes to dealing with galactic criminal networks. It will have to wait for a bit, because of the war, but it's an initiative which I think would do a lot to help the Order's standing in the eyes of the public." She had put much thought into it, and even spoken with a few other Senators, mainly Bail and Mon Mothma. They had all agreed that the Jedi need more room to act when necessary and should be given additional resources to help, though that will involve much debate as she proposed that the clones be given to the Jedi to keep after the war is over.

"I don't know what will happen next, but the Jedi's support is shrinking," Siri admits with a sigh. "I wish we could bring an end to this war. I'm not comfortable leading an army of soldiers in war. The Jedi were not meant to be warriors."

"Believe me, I'm doing everything I can, but the majority in the Senate are not interested in bringing a fast end to the war," Padme admits. "I'm afraid it will drag on for a while."

The Jedi Master seems to deflate. "I had feared as much," she replies. "I'm also contacting you because the Council wants to learn more about the Sith's plans. I wondered what you think about asking Skywalker's mother more questions. Do you think that would help us?"

Padme prides herself on being good at reading people, but it was extremely difficult for her to determine anything from Shmi. "I don't think she'll tell us anything which we don't already know," she says after a contemplative pause. "Do I believe that she knows more? Yes. Absolutely, but I'm under the impression that she isn't willing to put her son at risk."

Siri hums an agreement. "She won't, but we must do something. Perhaps you could ask the Chancellor to speak with her at his convenience? We have to do something." She hesitates, before continuing. "Padme, I know you're worried about what might happen to Anakin, but this is something we have to do."

Padme winces, overtaken by a sudden, fierce yearning to bring Anakin back to her side, safe and sound, away from the chaos of the galaxy around them. It hurts. It hurts so much to put him at risk, but she isn't going to protect him if the cost is millions of lives taken and destroyed. The boy she'd known on Tatooine would never have wanted that regardless of what he has now become. She'll never fear him, and if he does die, she'll always mourn him, but she won't let her love for him prevent her from fighting for freedom and justice.

"I know. I understand, Siri," she responds quietly. "I'm not putting him over the galaxy, I promise you. I want answers as much as you do. I'll speak with the Chancellor when I have the opportunity. Hopefully, he'll be able to learn something we weren't."

"I hope so too," Siri agrees, before they move onto other, less painful subjects. It won't do to dwell on the things that could have been. All they can do now is search out the truth and hope that they won't be too late to save the people they care for, because Padme is certain that Siri, despite whatever she might say, cares deeply for Obi-Wan.