Chapter 53 – Prisoner
Author's Note: I have been having a somewhat hard time writing this fic for some reason. Lol. But anyways, this chapter (and one after it, thus far) is finally done. I hope that y'all enjoy it! :D
~ Amina Gila
Anakin comes back to consciousness slowly, awareness filtering in through vague bits and pieces, flashes really. It comes rushing back all at once, and he jolts awake, blinking at his surroundings and trying to figure out where he is. He can sense Obi-Wan next to him, the elder man lightly stroking his hair. His hand still though when he realizes that Anakin is awake.
"Anakin?" Obi-Wan queries hesitantly.
"Where – where are we?" he rasps, closing his eyes as a wave of pain and grief so strong it feels physical washes through him, threatening to drown him. He remembers all of it. The explosion, the blood, the death.
Mom.
"We were captured by the Republic," Obi-Wan answers. "They stunned you." He remembers that much, and he doesn't care any more now than he did then. "Ahsoka was… going to fight, but I knew we were outmatched. It was… not a good situation. I had her surrender. We're enroute to Coruscant now."
He struggles to make sense of the words, trying to move his hand only to realize that he's in binders. He slumps back, defeated, staring numbly at the ceiling, unsure how he even ought to feel now. She's – she's gone. His mother is gone, dead, because of the slave chip in her, because of Sidious, because of the Republic. He doesn't know who he hates more. The galaxy or himself.
"Thank you," he manages to say, meeting Obi-Wan's eyes. "You… saved her. Us." Anakin recalls, vaguely, the feel of the clones and the Jedi who was there – Tachi – and he knows that Ahsoka would have died if Obi-Wan had not surrendered. All of them might have. And he might not know how much he himself wants to live anymore, not after how badly he failed, but he doesn't want his family to die.
"I'm so sorry," Obi-Wan whispers, pressing his hand to Anakin's face. "I – I wish we had… succeeded." His pain and grief filters through their bond, an echo of Anakin's, and he feels tears pricking at his eyes.
"Me too. I don't – what do we do now?" he asks brokenly. "I don't – I don't know how to deal with any of this."
"We can only take it one step at a time," Obi-Wan replies soothingly. "I will do for you whatever I can, Anakin. Perhaps the Republic – and the Jedi, primarily – will be able to help us."
He opens his mouth to instinctively protest, but Obi-Wan holds up a hand, forestalling him. "I know you do not trust the Jedi," he continues, "And for good reason, but they are good people. I have friends there; they were like a family to me, even if we… had our disagreements. The Council is not evil, even if they may be willfully blind. With the knowledge that we now have, perhaps they can help us stop Sidious."
"They will execute me," Anakin points out woodenly. "Eventually. They – they will. And maybe it would be best – I know I am dangerous – but I do not think I want to die."
"You won't die," Obi-Wan assures him fiercely, almost desperately. "You won't. I will make sure of it."
He doesn't bother pointing out that it really isn't up to Obi-Wan, and that, now that they're with the Jedi, they have no guarantees of anything. They both know it anyways, and Anakin says nothing more until Tachi shows up. She seems surprised to see him awake, though she hides it well, and once he's been given another dose of the sedative, he's dragged back into the welcoming embrace of darkness. He might not be able to hide from the truth, from his pain and grief, but he can, at least avoid it a little longer.
**w**
The meeting with the Council, unsurprisingly, took hours, and when it finished and after Siri sedated Anakin again – she has no idea how he woke up so fast – she returned to the cockpit to wait out the short remainder of the journey to Coruscant. She needed time to think and reflect as well as figure out her next course of action. The possibility of Palpatine having gotten inside information is a disturbing one, and she leaves a message for Ferus, asking him to meet her once she returns to the Temple.
Even if it amounts to nothing, she needs to do due diligence, and at least speak to him about it. It could be nothing; it probably is nothing, because even if Ferus has spent time speaking to Palpatine alone, he has always been faithful and loyal to the Order. She has no reason to doubt him, and she hates the fact that a part of her now is.
It will be simple enough to clear it up.
Upon their arrival, the still unconscious Anakin and Ahsoka are taken down to the Force-null cells within the Jedi Temple prison levels while Obi-Wan is escorted to a window-less, exit-less room and left there with two Temple Guards watching him. While the Council agreed that they could probably trust him, in part, they have no intention of leaving him alone or letting him go anywhere alone until they can determine the extent to which he's been influenced by the Sith. Not to mention that they have no desire to let knowledge of his presence leak out to everyone; it's best to keep Sidious in the dark about what happened for as long as possible.
And then, Siri goes to meet up with Ferus to speak with him. "What happened?" he asks, falling in step next to her. "You wanted to speak with me."
"I did," she confirms, evading his question until she has answers of her own. "I did go to Naboo, but… we were unable to bring Shmi in for questioning. There is… suspicion among the Council that someone may have let the word slip to the wrong individual, but as far as we know, no one outside of us and the Council itself was aware of the operation."
"Master…" he begins, a faint flicker of… some emotion visible for a moment before he hides it.
"Did you say anything to someone?" she interrupts, stopping to look at him. "I do not suspect you, but I must at least ask."
Visible shame flashes across his face, and he looks away from her, down to the floor. "It was… an accident," he admits. "The Chancellor asked me, and I told him that it was Jedi business, but I questioned him to know if he knew of anyone other than Dooku that Skywalker had spoken with. He said no, but he mentioned Shmi. I… accidentally slipped that we would be double-checking everything. I don't know if he figured it out or not. I apologize, Master."
Siri has no idea how to feel at that confession. What has Palpatine been doing to her former Padawan that he could make such a costly mistake? And she has no idea how much trust he has in Palpatine. Should she tell him anything, or should she leave him in the dark?
Is there really even a question, though? They cannot take any chances that Palpatine discover that they know of his identity before they've found a way to deal with him, not when the entirety of the clone army could be turned against them at a moment's notice. (She doesn't overlook the fact that Obi-Wan or Ahsoka could easily have triggered the clones against her when she showed up, but they didn't. Perhaps they were merely in shock, or perhaps it means that they are really not as corrupted as the Jedi way would have her believe.)
Even if she wants to tell Ferus everything, it's not a chance that she can take.
"I am disappointed that you made such a mistake," she tells him, picking her words carefully, "But I do not know if the failure of the mission was a result of your slipup. More than likely, it was not."
Ferus nods, looking suitably chastened. "Can you tell me anything more?"
Siri hesitates, uncertain. "I do not think I should, at least not without permission from the Council. This is… highly sensitive."
"I understand," he nods, and he doesn't seem upset in the least, so after giving him one searching look and wishing that she could warn him about Palpatine, Siri takes her leave.
**w**
Once he's left alone, Obi-Wan settles on the floor in a meditative position and tries to find his center again. It's… easier here now that he's in the Temple, surrounded by the familiar feel of Light and life, but he's still struggling. It was hard, so very hard, after Qui-Gon died, and if not for his friends, including Siri, and his knowledge that he was breaking his promise to his master, he doesn't know how he would have gotten through it.
Shmi's death is hitting him equally hard, and he doesn't even know why, because he never really knew her personally. He knew her through Anakin, and he knows how much she meant to Anakin, so perhaps that is the reason. Seeing Anakin suffer in the aftermath of his mother's death and knowing that he won't be able to offer him the unconditional help and support that he would like to will be hard.
In a way, he's glad that Anakin awoke briefly on the way back to Coruscant so that he had been able to speak to the younger man once before he – and Ahsoka – were locked away. Hopefully, his words and reassurances will be enough until Obi-Wan can find some other way of helping. He promised. He promised, and he is getting very tired of promises that he is forced to break.
For all that he's glad to be back here at the Temple, since it was the first home he ever had, Obi-Wan cannot deny feeling some… resentment as well. Had the Jedi been more careful, none of this would ever have happened. Had the Council allowed him to fulfill his promise to Qui-Gon, they would not be in this mess. He refuses to allow himself to think about how the situation could be worse.
Obi-Wan finds it hard to find any balance when he's grieving for Anakin as much as he is grieving with him. Shmi was a wonderful woman who had her life cut short all because of the insidious machinations of the Sith Master. She deserved better. Anakin deserves better. All of them deserve better. The Jedi, the clones, everyone.
His attempts at meditating are interrupted when the door to the room he's in slides open, and he jolts with a startled shock when he sees Master Yoda there. For a moment, he's at a loss for words as the elderly Grandmaster hobbles into the room. It's been a long time since Obi-Wan has seen him, but it also feels like just yesterday.
"Master Yoda," he blurts out, inclining his head with respect.
"Obi-Wan," Yoda returns neutrally, leaning on his gimer stick and staring at him for a moment before sitting down in front of him. "Come to speak with you I have."
"Speak, Master," he replies, "And I will answer what you want to know." He knows that he has nothing to gain by being difficult, and nor does he want to be, because he knows how important it is for them to find a resolution to the problem plaguing the galaxy. And then – then, perhaps he'll be afforded the chance to help Anakin and Ahsoka heal.
"Touched by the Dark you have not been," Yoda notes, staring at him speculatively, almost as if he can see through him, can see his very soul. It's uncomfortable, but Obi-Wan bears it.
"No," he agrees, "I have not used the Dark Side." He doesn't add that Anakin had practically begged him not to give in to that temptation, had encouraged him to resist and stay true to the Light, no matter how hard it may be.
"Killed Jedi you have," Yoda continues, relentless.
Obi-Wan can't help but flinch at that. "I – I did," he admits, "And it is something that will forever haunt me. I did what I had to do to survive, to help Anakin and Ahsoka, but I am not necessarily proud of it."
"A Jedi, are you?"
He hesitates, uncertain if it's a trick question or not. "It is true," he answers carefully, "That I have broken the Code, but I have done my best to always hold true to the Light, to hold onto it. I have never lost my faith in the Force, no matter how difficult these past many months have become at times."
"Hm." Yoda's ears twitch, and in the Force, he feels serene, maybe a little curious. "Fond of young Skywalker you are."
Maybe, Obi-Wan thinks a little hysterically, this is actually an assessment to see if he, too, needs to be imprisoned. If it is, he hopes that he'll pass it in a way that will allow him to give Anakin the most help. Staying free would be most ideal, because then, he can help most and perhaps they will find a solution to the Sidious problem fast enough that he and Anakin can be truly reunited again. And in the meantime, he can only hope that Ahsoka will be able to afford Anakin a sense of stability and balance while he mourns.
"I am," Obi-Wan answers, unashamed. His attachment to Anakin is not something that he will ever be able to bring himself to regret. No matter how short of a time they've been together, Obi-Wan still feels as if he's known Anakin forever, as if Anakin is a part of him that he never knew he was missing until he found him. They've always been drawn together, haven't they? Fated to forever find a path to each other's sides.
"Attachment that is," Yoda points out.
"I will not be ashamed of it," he answers defiantly. "It is the one thing that has given me strength throughout all of this time. It is the thing that has kept me Light when I thought I was unable to hold on any longer. Anakin is… he is special. He has been raised a Sith, but his heart is still so good and caring. He cares about me, about Ahsoka, even if that caring has only brought him more pain. We have helped him. We have balanced him. And I dare say that his attachment to me is one of the things that has given him the courage to fight against Sidious."
"Cheeky you have become," Yoda huffs, and Obi-Wan resists his instinctive urge to roll his eyes at the comment.
"Will you tell me I'm wrong to find strength in my attachment?" he challenges, and he can hardly even explain why he's behaving in this manner. Perhaps it is merely his grief, manifesting itself in anger, in a desire to lash out.
"Dangerous it is," the Grandmaster allows, not answering.
"I know that," Obi-Wan replies, "And I am being careful, but I have begun to see that attachments are not all dangerous. Because of Anakin, I am fighting. I am doing it for him. I want him to heal. I want him to be happy. Not all attachments are bad, Master." Not like we've always been taught, he doesn't add. It wasn't until Anakin that he truly understood the meaning of the word 'love' and it's not something that he would want to give up in a million years.
"Dominate his destiny, the Dark Side will," Yoda declares – or cautions, Obi-Wan is unsure.
"His actions will always be a part of him," Obi-Wan concedes, "But he can still use the Light. I – Ahsoka saw him do it: tap into the Light, though he's never been taught. I have… had questions about the Jedi way for a while, and now I see that they are not always right. I meant what I said in my speech to the galaxy. It may have been coerced, but I meant it."
"Meditate on this I must," the Grandmaster decides after a moment of contemplative silence. "Affected you have been but corrupted, I do not think you are. Imprisoned you will not be, but under guard you must remain."
Obi-Wan inclines his head in acknowledgement of Yoda's words. Despite everything, he still harbors some respect for the Grandmaster. It was trained and engrained into him from the time he was young; it's not something that he can forget about overnight. "What will the Jedi do about Sidious?" he wants to know.
"Decide this we must," Yoda tells him.
"And what of… Anakin? And Ahsoka?" He tries to control himself, to remain outwardly calm and relaxed, but he doesn't know if it really works, especially not when the mere thought of something happening to Anakin fills him with immense anxiety.
For many moments, Yoda is quiet, and Obi-Wan wonders if he'll even get an answer before Yoda says, "Imprisoned they are. Imprisoned they shall remain. Dark Siders they are. Dangerous. Risks we cannot afford to take."
"You cannot be meaning to keep them there indefinitely." He doesn't know if disbelief or dread are stronger right now at the prospect of Anakin and Ahsoka being imprisoned like that, possibly forever, of not being able to see them, and all that merely for the "crime" of them having embraced the Dark Side. It's not fair.
"Decided later their fates shall be." There's a finality to the words, and Obi-Wan knows that this line of conversation is over. It's not a yes, but it's not a no either, so all he can do is hope. He will not stand by and watch as the two are sentenced to a lengthy imprisonment. It's not something that he needs to deal with now, thankfully, but he will have to be mindful. He is all too aware of how the Jedi tend to treat Sith, and they will not care that the duo in question are both young and close to him.
And he can understand that. He knows that Anakin – and Ahsoka, too – can be extremely dangerous. His attachment is clouding his judgment, but is it really foolhardy of him to think that he can help Anakin heal when the younger man has already expressed his desire for freedom, for happiness? He doesn't know, and it's simply yet another thing that he'll have to meditate on.
"Can I see them?"
Yoda's hesitation is answer enough. "Not safe it would be." He doesn't say for who, but then again, he doesn't need to. It's pretty obvious. Even so, Obi-Wan can't help but feel disappointment that mingles with the silent pain piercing through his heart. Shmi died, and he owes it to her to help Anakin. He cannot fail another person.
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