Chapter 58 – Revelations

Author's Note: I do not apologize for the cliffhanger. :)

~ Amina Gila

Padme rubs her eyes, feeling tiredness creep up on her. She hasn't slept in a while because she has far too many things demanding her attention. She's gone without sleep for longer, and besides, she was usually far more exhausted when she was still in the Senate. She misses being a Senator, missing being able to fight for her people, for all people, for what's right. She misses knowing that she's doing good and making a difference, no matter how difficult it used to be.

Sighing, she clicks on another collection of files, scanning through the notes that Artoo added to categorize it. Padme frowns, rereading it just to make sure that she didn't make a mistake. But no. It very clearly, in big letters, reads "Sith training."

Her heart skips a beat, her finger hovering over the icon on her datapad screen before pressing it. There are dozens and dozens of files in here, and a feeling of dread crawls into her as she selects one at random. A holorecording opens up, blue and translucent, and if she wants, she could change the setting to make it in color, though it will take longer to load, and it's not needed right now. She doesn't need to see those details.

Anakin is in the screen, in his mid-teens, an ignited lightsaber held loosely in his hands as he looks towards Palpatine, who is barely visible on the edges of the recording. "Show me what you can do," the Chancellor's voice says as he steps back and away. Several large droids advance on Anakin, and he lunges towards them.

Padme watches for a moment, before realizing that she's admiring the deadly grace and lethality he's using and closes the recording, scrolling and picking another. This one is… bad. Shmi is in it, and from what Padme can see of her face, it's pinched, filled with a quiet horror and disbelief. Palpatine is in the center of the video frame as is Anakin, who is lying on the floor, head angled towards the Chancellor.

"You are willful, stubborn," Palpatine seethes, his anger obvious, even now. "You must learn if you are to ever become a true Sith Lord." And then, lightning arcs from his fingertips, hitting the hapless boy on the floor.

Padme slams off the recording when Anakin's first screams begin, tears in her eyes.

Oh Force.

What is this? Palpatine – he –

She knew that, intellectually, if he was a Sith, then he couldn't be a good person, that he must be horrible and evil. Seeing it? That's so different. She doesn't even know how to wrap her mind around this, how to even begin to accept that this – this is what Anakin went through day after day in Palpatine's hands.

She should have done something. She should have tried to help him. Maybe she would have failed, but at least she would have tried. If nothing else, she wouldn't have done nothing; she wouldn't have failed the man that she has come to love so dearly.

Padme inhales slowly, shakily, before pushing aside all of her own feelings for a moment. This information is crucial, especially since it could majorly benefit the Jedi as well as herself. If this evidence was to be presented to the court, it would be undeniable if combined with other evidence, including personal testimonies. While she is well aware that the Republic is corrupt and falling, that doesn't mean she'll entirely abandon its democratic principles. She can try, if nothing else, and a good place to start is by sending this information to the Jedi somehow so they can work together on building a case against Palpatine.

Perhaps she could see if Sache would be willing to go to Coruscant under the guide of helping Jar Jar with his new burden of work in the Senate. While there, she could discreetly slip a datacard to Siri, and she'll know what to do with it.

**w**

Obi-Wan has been here for days already, and he feels trapped, even though it's not as if he's been solely confined to his quarters. Siri – and other Jedi – have accompanied him to other places in the Temple, to the Room of One Thousand Fountains and the Archives, even. But he still feels trapped here, restless, on edge. For all that he loves the Temple, it no longer feels like home to him in the way it once did.

And, truth be told, he misses Anakin. He misses him, and he misses Ahsoka. He worries for them, too. They've been confined in the Temple holding cells, imprisoned in Force null cells. He can't feel them in the Force, and it grates on him. It's disturbing for him to be unable to feel Anakin. He's always been able to feel Anakin, especially after their bond cemented during their initial captivity. Anakin has always been there, a burning star in the back of his mind, but Obi-Wan can't feel him now. He can't feel him at all.

And it's maddening.

It occurs to him that he might be suffering from something akin to… withdrawal. Anakin's presence is addictive, and though Obi-Wan will never confess to it, more times than he can count, he has reached out to Anakin, letting himself bask in the warm, bright glow of that Force signature. Being unable to feel it might be affecting him negatively. Certainly, it has left him feeling far more depressed and irritable than usual.

It's affecting his ability to sleep as well. He's been restless, unable to find rest, and he finds himself reaching out towards the dormant bond constantly. It is – this is wrong. It's not how it should be. He should not be so reliant on Anakin. He should not feel the need to constantly check on him and protect him. Neither of those are right; they go against the Jedi way.

Obi-Wan does not care that they go against the Jedi way.

He isn't a very good Jedi, clearly.

He rolls around on his bed until he gets too annoyed with himself to actually continue to lay there, and with a sigh, he sits up, brushing a hand through his hair in frustration. The buzz under his skin is only getting worse, and he's desperate to hear something from Anakin. He needs to know how the younger man is doing, and it doesn't help that Obi-Wan is well aware of the fact that Anakin and Ahsoka will be reliving some of their worst experiences all over again. Having to stand by helplessly, knowing that they are struggling, suffering… it's infuriating.

It's not – he – he just doesn't think he can sleep without being certain Anakin is safe. Anything could have happened to him. Anything could be happening to him. And Obi-Wan would never know. He wouldn't know and it would be his fault –

His thoughts screech to a halt at that.

He has never had a problem being apart from Anakin, even after their captivity, because, through the Force, he could sense Anakin, could sense that he was alright, that he was alive. Now? He can't sense that, and maybe it reminds him far too much of – of before, of how he didn't have such a bond with Anakin and the younger suffered because of Obi-Wan's lack of action.

He exhales slowly, shifting into a meditative position and reaching out to the Force. This is – this is about Anakin, but it's also about his own guilt, isn't it? Obi-Wan knows that he has always struggled to let go of things, to move on. He has to learn to release his guilt over what happened to Anakin. It's not as if he chose to let Anakin stay with Palpatine. He did not choose to make Anakin become a Sith.

That was all Palpatine, all Dooku.

He did not choose to leave the slave chip in Shmi. He did not choose to let it activate, to kill her in front of Anakin.

That – that was all Sidious.

Obi-Wan lets the Light flow through him, warm and inviting and gentle, though it's nothing even remotely close to what Anakin feels like. He needs to learn to trust. The Jedi might have failed once, but surely, they can learn from those mistakes to not repeat him. At the very least, Obi-Wan needs to trust the Council not to take any hasty action against Anakin, needs to trust that Anakin will not come to harm at the Jedi's hands.

Letting go of his guilt is so much easier when he stops denying that he feels it, when he accepts what it is that he feels and probes to find the root of it.

Like Anakin said, Obi-Wan, at least, needs to stay levelheaded to keep Anakin and Ahsoka stable. It might not help them now, but he has no idea when they'll need him next. And he has to be ready. Perhaps, instead of… brooding, he should focus on rebalancing himself, on letting go of Shmi's tragic death. And then, he can seek out a means of checking on Anakin himself.

**w**

After hearing from Padme and seeing some of the footage that the holodisk – which Sache discreetly slipped to her – contains, Siri finds that, unsurprisingly, she can't sleep. She isn't a Council member anymore, but she once was, and she knows that there are some who still practically consider her to still be one.

Given the whole situation with Sidious and the fact that Siri is friends with Padme, she has been spending even more time with the Council, in meetings, strategizing and planning. Barriss' capture was good, though the Fallen Padawan is refusing to say anything if importance, even if they didn't get to Windu. All they know, both from Barriss and security recordings on Rattatak, is that Ventress and a clone companion arrived and retrieved Windu, taking him to an undisclosed destination.

Siri has no idea what they plan to do with him, but from the nature of the encounter, she doesn't fully think that Windu's transfer was on Sidious' orders. Perhaps Obi-Wan spoke the truth when he said that Dooku has been moving to overthrow Sidious. If nothing else, it seems as though there might be some conflict between the two Sith. She can only hope, because it would make it so much easier for the Jedi to take action if Dooku is as well.

The last Council meeting ended very late; they stayed awake reviewing some of the footage and trying to determine how to use it. If nothing else, it shows exactly how much of a victim Anakin has been. Siri can't even begin to imagine the horrors that the boy must have endured over the years, though obviously, that doesn't change what he now is, what he's become. And perhaps, though she hardly wants to admit it, she has begun to see and understand far more why Obi-Wan cares about Anakin so much.

At the very least, she herself empathizes with him.

She goes for a walk in the Temple, stopping in the Room of One Thousand Fountains to meditate and try to relax. It works, somewhat, and then, she finds herself heading in the direction of Obi-Wan's quarters. Probing towards him with the Force, she can sense his wakefulness, so she decides to pay him a late-night visit.

He's mediating when she arrives, and for an awkward moment, they stare at each other.

"Can't sleep?" Obi-Wan asks finally, rising smoothly to his feet and gesturing for her to enter.

"No," she admits, stepping inside, past the Temple Guards outside the room, letting the door close behind her. "You?"

"Likewise," Obi-Wan replies. "Tea?"

"Sure," she agrees, sitting down at the table while Obi-Wan goes to the kitchen area to prepare both of them a cup of tea. "The Council meeting dragged on late tonight."

Obi-Wan twitches. "Oh?" His voice is deliberately casual, but he's clearly curious. "I heard you weren't on the Council anymore."

"Officially, no," Siri answers, shaking her head, "But I am friends with Padme, and she is working with the Jedi now as we plan our moves against Palpatine."

"I see." His tone reveals nothing, and he brings her a cup, sitting opposite her with a cup in his own hand. There's a placidness to his expression, a sharpness to his eyes, that lets Siri see exactly why Obi-Wan has been come to be called the Negotiator. "Does the Council require something of me?"

"No," she tells him, "Not now. I am here merely… as a friend."

"You are troubled," he notes.

"It is… about Anakin, I suppose," she confesses at last, noticing the way that his body tenses at the name. "Padme went to the Palpatine residence, and she rescued Boba and a protocol droid. She has retrieved the memory from the droid, and we have found… much about Anakin, about his training. Anything the droid witnessed – and it was a lot – has been stored. I don't believe its memory has ever been wiped."

"What – what did you find?" He sounds almost anxious, worried.

She inhales slowly, fingers tightening on the cup in her hands, letting the warmth seep into her and taking a few sips to forestall her answer. "It is not good," she tells him. "It is – his training began from the moment Sidious took him. It was… brutal." For there is no other word that can properly describe the horrors of it all. By the Force, who would torture an eleven-year-old?

"I want to see him." The steeliness in Obi-Wan's voice snaps her head back up towards him. "If you are so close to the Council then you can… allow me to. I need to see him."

"He's fine, Obi-Wan," she answers. "I cannot do that. You know that. You are not permitted to go to the prison levels."

"Take me to him," he orders, ignoring her, something both furious and desperate in his eyes. "I am not asking to see him alone. I just – I need to see him. He needs to see me. You don't understand how… difficult this is for him."

"I cannot," she says quietly, "Go against the Council's orders, merely because you miss him."

"This isn't about me," Obi-Wan hisses out, looking angry. "I can – he is struggling. I need to see him. I can help him."

"He is in a Force-null cell, Obi-Wan," Siri retorts. "There is no way for you to know if he is struggling or not. If you insist, I can put in a request to visit him in the morning."

His blue-gray eyes harden, even as a flicker of something akin to fear echoes into the Force for a moment. "I don't think we have that time," he murmurs pensively, gaze going distant for a moment. "There is something…" He trails off, and Siri reaches out with the Force as well, trying to make sense of the vague, uncertain feelings which she's getting. "We need to go. Now." There's an urgency in his voice now which wasn't there before, and when Siri catches a flare of the Dark Side from inside the Temple, she knows that Obi-Wan is right.

"Fine." She rises, gesturing for him to follow her as she exits Obi-Wan's quarters, heart pounding as she prepares to do something that could land her in serious trouble. But the Force doesn't lie, and in the Force, she senses something is very, very wrong.

**w**

Anakin would love nothing more than the room to pace around, but his cell is too small for the luxury. He can move, of course, but not well enough to relieve the terrible tension filling his body. The Force has always been his one constant, the one bright thing which no one – not even Sidious – can really take away from him. He doesn't think about the other cells which were like this one and just as suffocating. But he can't feel it now, and it's as if he's missing a limb.

If he strains, he can hear Ahsoka moving around restlessly in her own holding cell, shifting and sighing as she tries – and fails, presumably – to find any rest. He wants this to be over. He wants to be free. It's the middle of the night, he thinks, but he can't sleep, nightmares and memories and a thousand whispers of guilt keeping him from finding any calm.

Anakin might be able to feel the whispers of the Dark Side, trying to seduce him into letting go, if he wasn't imprisoned here. And maybe he would. Perhaps it's better that he doesn't have to find out. He's filled with so much anger and hatred and pain, it feels as if he's going to drown in it. He shouldn't feel like this perhaps, but he can't – he doesn't – How does he let go of it?

A quiet noise catches his attention, and he jerks at the sound, head snapping to the cell's entrance as he unconsciously reaches for Ahsoka again only to be met with nothing. "Snips?" he ventures cautiously, stepping closer to the ray shield and wishing that he could hold her, comfort her from whatever is plaguing her, but he can't. He doesn't want to keep living like this, filled with uncertainty and mistrust. Personally, Anakin is willing to bear any manner of torment or abuse, but he'll fight tooth and nail to protect those he loves.

He can't feel her in the Force, can't feel to know if she's alright, can't reach out to soothe her through their bond. And it'll continue to be like this for the indefinite future, maybe until he's executed or worse. He doesn't want to know what will be done to him… or Ahsoka. No, not her. He will not allow anything to happen to her, but locked away like this, he's powerless to help her. Her pain is like his pain, and he hates that he can't do anything to help her.

"Yes?" she answers, sounding strained, miserable.

Are you okay, he wants to ask but doesn't. It'll be alright, he wants to soothe but can't.

"How are you hanging in there?" he questions instead.

"Splendidly," she replies, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Perfect view and everything."

The sound of the door opening stops him from replying, and even though he's cut off from the Force, Anakin still feels a tingle of warning as a Besalisk Jedi Master steps in front of his cell, a sneer on his face. "So, you're Skywalker, the Sith apprentice. You don't look too powerful in there," he mocks, walking back the way he came. There's the sound of a ray shield being deactivated, and then, "I have a message from Lord Sidious, Fallen Jedi." His voice is further away, and Anakin wonders to who he's speaking. "He wants you to kill Ahsoka Tano, and that is the price for your freedom."

And the world around Anakin screeches to a halt.

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