Wheeliefan101: *reads script and shakes head* tsk tsk tsk

Ratchet: what are you going on about now?

Wheeliefan101: young writer me made SO many spelling errors!

Ratchet: young writer you is better at spelling than current you is

Wheeliefan101: ;0;

Wheeliefan101: she is not! I'm good at speling now!

Ratchet: what's the fancy word for a fast food place?

Wheeliefan101: oh you mean a restuarant

Wheeliefan101: restuarant

Wheeliefan101: reastur-that's just one example ok?!

Ratchet: what's someone who was born during the 90's called?

Wheeliefan101: milleinial

Wheeliefan101: millieneiul

Wheeliefan101: millieneil

Ratchet: that's what I thought

Wheeliefan101: *crying* I don't own these stupid mean transformers...

Chapter 10: We are accident free 0 days

#91 Jumping into my arms is not advised

So you know how you sometimes get scared of something and jump into someone's arms?

Yeah, well turns out Bluestreak is afraid of beetles

The beetle started coming after him

He jumped into my arms

I'm one of the smaller 'bots

Who don't have super strength

So you can imagine how that went

"Bluestreak...get down before...I...go squish!"

After that the weight was too much for me

We fell like a rock

Then the beetle started to crawl over Bluestreak

He REALLY got scared then

My poor arms have never felt so much strain

#92 If you are a human, do not kick an Autobot

This is pretty self explanatory

But still

There are SOME PEOPLE who ignore some of the simplest of things

*coughcoughmecoughcough*

I got really mad at Cliffjumper

So I said "YOU STUPID BUCKET OF BOLTS!"

And then I kicked him

And then I proceeded to hold my foot, hop around, and say "ow"

I don't kick the 'bots anymore

I get someone else to do it for me

#93 Quit playing the "Imperial March" when I walk by

It was funny the first few times

But after about the 265th time...

It got real annoying

I finally took an axe to the place where it kept playing

I have yet to find out who did it

Seriously guys

I'm not THAT bad

…am I?

#94 I am not allowed to have any more sugar, Ratchet's and Prowl's orders

I had gotten some candy from school (there was a party)

I happily devoured all of it

And then Sideswipe offered me a cookie

I took it, ignoring the fact that I was already REALLY hyper

I went into a sugar induced coma

Ratchet was NOT happy

He freaked out

Prowl was not happy either

He got mad

They then banned all and any sugar from me

(Although they'll never know about my secret stash)

Prowl: I do now! We have the place surrounded! Surrender the contraband!

Me: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE IT WHILE I'M ALIVE! *hugs stash* WE'RE IN LOVE! YOU CAN'T SEPERATE THE LOVE!

Prowl: Release it. NOW!

Me: *begins chucking cookies at him* NO WAY, PROWLER!

#95 Always pay attention on monitor duty

I was bored

Nothing was happening

So I checked the tapes from a few days ago

I saw something that interested me

Unfortunately, I was so engrossed in it that I failed to notice the 'cons creeping in

on one of the screens

There was an all out war at the base

I never noticed

So, I ran into the rec room (where the fight was happening)

And I yelled to everyone "GUESS WHAT! SANTA CLAUSE IS REAL! HE'S REAL! I CAUGHT HIM ON TAPE!"

I then noticed there were some 'cons around

I'm now monitored when doing monitor duty

#96 Do not tell the 'bots that they have phobias

I told Sunstreaker "I think you have Amychophobia"

Unfortunately I told that to him in one of the rare times that he was driving me somewhere

We crashed

I told Red alert he had Panophobia

He now has Phobophobia

When Sideswipe was driving slowly (which for us is at the speed limit, normal speed is usualy above the speed limit) I told him he had Tachophobia

I instantly regretted it

The speeding tickets we got after that...

I told Tracks he had Cacophobia

He threw a buffer at me

I said Bluestreak he had Entomophobia

He started babbling on about something I didn't understand

I told Ratchet he had Cherophobia when he stopped our fun (although that fun did involve painting Optimus pink)

He then told me I had Enissophobia

Once I had figured out what he had said I told him he had Cenephobia

He shot back that I had Gnosiophobia

I said he had Chaetophobia

He told me it was absurd and that he was not scared of it

I stated he WAS scared of it because he didn't have any

He exclaimed that I had Viscumphobia

I said I did not have Viscumphobia

I had Philemaphobia

#97 No watching Cybertronian horror movies

It was Sides and Streakers fault

They wanted me to watch it

I screamed louder than the bots on there

And I thought HUMAN horror movies were bad...

*shivers*

I ended up as a whimpering pile of tears on Sideswipe's lap

You shoulda seen the look on my face when they told me it was all real because nobot had time to film that stuff for entertainment

I'm almost positive my entire face turned white

Even though I was in Cybertronian mode

I now sleep with the lights on

#98 No trying to make Prowl crash on purpose

(Jokes work really well)

"What did the porcupine say to the cactus? 'Are you my mommy?'"

"Where should a 500 pound alien *coughcoughJazzcoughcough*-

Jazz: Hey!

"Go? On a diet!"

"Why can't your hand be 12 inches? Because then it would be a foot!"

"Why did Billy go out with a prune? Because he couldn't find a date!"

"Teacher: What is the shortest month? Student: May. It only has three letters."

These and many more have caused Prowl to crash

FUNNY. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME!

Unfortunatley, some 'bots pitied him

And the devious masterminds came up with a genius plan

I walked up to Prowl and said "Here's a joke, Prowler. Teacher: I want you to think of the longest sentence you can think of. Student: Life imprisonment."

I smiled and waited

Prowl grinned back at me

The bottom fell out of my smile

LIKE A ROCK

Something was seriously wrong with the world

Prowl was...SMILING

Turns out he had turned down his audio receptors so he couldn't hear me

And he then proceeded to drag me-kicking and screaming-to the brig

For harassing a superior

Just between you and me,

*looks around and whispers*

It was SO worth it!

#99 Do not walk around with scratches in your paint job

I thought repainting myself was pointless

I mean, I would just get scratched up again

But I then started to get really scratched up

Sides and Streaker (A.K.A. my guardians) began to notice

They asked me to repaint myself

I told them "Go fall in a hole!"

They then left me alone

But I walked into my room

And before I could turn on the lights, I got suckertackled by two figures

Before I could scream, someone clamped a servo over my mouth

The lights then turned on

Turns out Sides and Sunny had tackled me

Sideswipe then sat on me

And Sunstreaker repainted me (and even waxed)

Despite my protests

It tickled

They said no charge of theirs would be scratched up

I shot a death glare to anyone who said I looked nice

#100 If you have any value for your life at all, do not call Ratchet "The Candy Cane of Death"

*holds up hands in defense* hey, he looks like a candy cane!

He's red and white

And I just call 'em like I see 'em

Ratchet was coming after me for a check up

So I yelled "HELP! THE CANDY CANE OF DEATH IS AFTER ME!"

Whoo boy!

Did Ratchet ever get mad at that!

He put a whole new meaning to "running for your life"

I kid you not when I say I was seriously thinking of hiding with the Decepticons

The only thing stopping me was Sides and Streaker

And they were stopping me by sitting on me

Luckily, the finally sedated him

And no, no matter what you say, I am NOT coming out of this closet!