Blaster: *reads what I've written*

Blaster: *checks the year*

Blaster: Say wheeliefan...

Wheeliefan101: Yeah?

Blaster: Aren't some of these things you mention...

Wheeliefan101: hilarious?

Blaster: no kind of-

Wheeliefan101: super smart and well thought out?

Blaster: DEFINETLY not

Wheeliefan101: well then just spit it out man!

Blaster: don't get mad at me

Wheeliefan101: *eye roll* I'm not gonna get mad

Blaster: aren't a lot of these outdated?

Wheeliefan101:

Blaster:

Wheeliefan101

Blaster:

Wheeliefan101: yOU'RE OUTDATED YOU HUNK OF-

Blaster: YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T GET MAD!

Wheeliefan101: I LIED!

Wheeliefan101: *grumbles* whatever I wouldn't want to own you even if I did have Transformers which I don't *angry glare*

Chapter 12: This requires a facepalm

#111 Always mean what you say and say what you mean

Apparently the 'bots haven't learned the concept of "figure of speech"

Sometimes they take me way too literally

I had just come from school

I was soaked

I then complained "It's raining cats and dogs out there! I'm soaked to the bone!"

Red Alert put the base on lockdown

He was afraid the "domestic animals" would bite him and give him diseases

I also got many scans from Ratchet

I once told Wheeljack I was trying to make flash cards

He later returned with neon cards that blinked on and off

I was talking to a depressed Spike and told him there was a silver lining to every dark cloud

Skyfire overheard me

He still looks for silver in clouds

Prowl was after me and Sideswipe

I yelled "Let's make like a tree and leave!"

He actually believed me

We now have a tree growing in the middle of base

Bluestreak saved from near death (which started with a Pr ended with a wl and had an o thrown in somewhere in the middle)

I hugged him and said "Bluestreak, you are the apple of my eye!"

He freaked out, thinking he had turned into an apple and he was in my eye

Although you shoulda seen Hound when I yelled at Prowl. "Yeesh, I get already! Talk about beating a dead horse!"

Not. Pretty.

#112 Stop breaking the fourth wall

Rule made by Prowl

Intended for me

I honestly don't know how I do it

First there was that incident with "The Touch"

Then I watched the Hub

And I found a show called "Transformers Prime"

Everybot who saw me watching it glitched

Who the hay is Bulkhead?

And one time I was talking to Optimus

His entire face plate just disappeared!

I just stared at him like, ".~_.^? What the huh?"

And let's not even MENTION the Fanfiction episode

#113 Do not text the 'cons
Optimus got me a cellphone (whoo!) so I could call the Autobots in case anything happened

But I was at base

Very bored

So I got out my phone

Picked a random number and texted "I hid the body...now what?"

Rn (random number): Good. Now meet me at these coordinates so we can discuss our next move

Me: ...who is this?

Rn: Megatron, you *$#!

Me: Oh, yeah, I knew that

Rn: Never mind about the coordinates. I will show up at your location. I'll be there in five cycles

Me: Okay...can you excuse me for a klick?

Prowl had to destroy the phone

Luckily, Megatron never showed up

Although now I can't have a phone

...Decepticons have a phone number?

#114 Do not randomly quote songs

Sideswipe took FOREVER to pick me up from school

When he FINALLY drove up, I sang to him "~And I don't wanna spend my whole life, just a waitin' for you~"

He nearly ran me over

Smokescreen decided to get a new paintjob

When I saw him I thought 'Who the hay is that?'

Mirage told me it was Smokescreen

Smokie asked me what I thought

I told him "~Now you're just somebody I used to know~"

He took that as offence

Is it legal for your trainer to shoot you?

I was complaining about how Ratchet was hurting my knee

To my utter surprise he started singing "~Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger~"

I threw a wrench at him

And missed completely

When I was caught playing a prank with Sideswipe, I said to Sides "~'Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in~"

On top of throwing me in the brig, Prowl duct taped my mouth shut

People were ignoring Jazz and me

I wondered why

He replied "~All I wanna say is that, they don't really care about us~"
I performed a Gibb's (whoever he is) headslap on him

Prowl was telling Optimus how he though should maybe take a vacation

Sides, Streaker, Jazz, Arcee, and I just happened to be around the corner

"~Vacation all I ever wanted, Vacation HAD to get away, Vacation meant to be spent alone~"

The aftermath was not pretty

For once I agree with you, Prowl

You need a vacation!

I was casually talking with Mirage, when Jazz convinced Blaster to play "Call me maybe"

It reminded Mirage of my FAKE crush (it is seriously NOT real)

If you'll excuse me, I have to go kill Jazz now

#115 Dear Autobots, no matter what you think, you cannot sing

*rubs temples*

We had a karoke night

My poor audio receptors/ears

We shattered all glass within 20 miles, set of 100 car alarms (per singer), and had neighbors yelling us to "*BLEEP* up our *BLEEP*ing *BLEEP* before they *BLEEP*our *BLEEP*ing *BLEEP*er on our *BLEEP*"

Only in much more colorful terms

#116 Do not act OOC

Jazz and I were having conversation

We basically acted the opposite of what normally were (which basically means dignified and normal)

Red alert freaked out

Sides and Streaker asked who were we and what had we done with Electric Storm and Jazz

Even Optimus got a little worried

I guess it would have been good to tell them that it was opposite day...

#117 THIS. IS. NOT. SPARTA!

So stop saying it is!

Sideswipe came up with this ABSURD idea

I stated, "We're letting YOU come up with an idea and YOU think of THAT?! This is madness!"

Sideswipe then raised an optical ridge at me "Madness? THIS. IS. SPARTA!"

It was funny the first few times everyone did it

But eventually got out of hand

They started yelling, "THIS. IS SPARTA!" after someone started their sentence with "This is"

One time Skyfire was giving some of us a ride to the battlefield

Skyfire kept getting shot at

The rest of the gang and I were at the open door

Skyfire kept struggling to stay in control

He muttered, "This is madness!"

So of course everybody asked, "Madness? THIS. IS. SPARTA!"

I got SO mad

I yelled, "THIS. IS. NOT. SPARTA!" and kicked them off the ship

Got thrown in the brig but at least no one says IT anymore

#118 The Autobots do not always understand sarcasm

Yet they use it so much!

Bluestreak asked if I wanted to hear a joke

I said, "It's okay, you're a joke all by yourself"

It took him a full five minutes before he finally got it

He quickly insulted me, "Oh yeah, well why don't you pick on someone your own size?! Like the Eiffel tower?!"

I stared up onto his optics "Bluestreak?"

"What?!"

"You're taller than me."

"..."

"And I think we're BOTH shorter than the Eiffel tower."

"Be quiet."

#119 If I am kicking, destroying things, and screaming some very unlady like things, I suggest you do not bother me for your own safety

I was really sad/mad after a heartbreak with-

I don't wanna talk about -_-

But I was taking out my frustration

Optimus was apparently worried

He tried to calm me down

I kid you not when I say I threw the Prime into a tree

I was THAT mad

Prowl had to call back up

Until I threw a big rock at him

They then decided it was best to wait until I calmed down

They were going to throw me in the brig

But I had a breakdown

And they pitied me

Thank you, heartbreak!

#120 If someone just had a heart break, they are sensitive and please respect that :(

I was still sad about my heart break with-

Still not gonna talk about it

And it was really affecting the way I worked

I would be working and then I would randomly be reminded of my heart break

And I would cry

Sunstreaker got fed up with it

He yelled at me

I got super hurt

And I ran to my room, locked myself in and cried

I didn't come out for five days

TT^TT