Red Alert: wow it's been a while and she's still gone...

Red Alert:

Red Alert: still nothing?

Red Alert: she doesn't own transformers

Red Alert:

Red Alert: I hope she's okay...

Chapter 17: social skills that leave something to be desired

#161 No quoting Despicable Me

"I went to kindergarten, I know how the alphabet works."

Me to Prowl when he commented how unorderly my reports were

I told him they were in alphabetical order

He pointed out that X does not come before D

Insert quote

"I like him. He's nice."
"But scary."
"Like Santa!"

A new recruit and me chatting about Prowl's ups and downs

"Somebody broke that."

Wheeljack when he blew up half our base

"Wow. This is garbage, you actually like this stuff?"

Cliffjumper when he saw Cake Boss (the show I was watching)

I tackled him

"Do the effects wear off?"
"So far, no, they don't."

Me and Wheeljack when he gave Lightspeed a drug and he acted like he was drunk

That's when we decided no longer to use the quotes

#162 Birthday parties are a bad idea

Well, the Autobots found out I had been keeping my birthday a secret

And that a birthday party was overdue

I TRIED to tell them I didn't want a birthday party

But would they listen?

Noooooooo

They threw a SURPRISE birthday party

As in I didn't know about it

Red Alert had to escort me to the rec. room because was in DEEP trouble

The lights were off

Then everybody turned them on and shouted, "SURPISE!"

Red Alert, being the brave and noble mech he was, screamed, began shooting randomly and shouted, "Take her, not me!"

Oh well

There's always next year...

*shivers*

#163 No using live test subjects for artwork

SUNNY *dodges paintbrush*

He asked if I would be his test subject

I (stupidly) agreed

Sunstreaker may be a good artist but he certainly ain't a fast one *ducks to avoid getting hit by palette*

I spent five hours standing in the same pose (and it was a strange pose with me in a ballet sort of looking pose)

It didn't help that Sunstreaker yelled at me to stay still every time I breathed, twitched, or blinked

I eventually collapsed from exhaustion

Streaker got mad at me for moving

But said he was done -_-

It didn't even look that good! *gets hit by easel*

#164 No artist contests between an artist and Sunstreaker

The 'bots found out I liked to draw

I'm no Leonardo da Vinci but I'm not so horrible that it burns your eyes just to look at my work

The Autobots wanted to see if I was better than Sunstreaker

So they devised a little contest

"Three...two...one...DRAW!"

Thus began our contest

We had to do a portrait of each other

I drew and he painted

It was hard to compare since I used a pencil and he used a paint brush

We called it a tie (yeah right, I'm SO getting revenge)

#165 My social life is my business

Streaker and Sides asked me to help them with a prank

It was a trap

They asked if I liked any boys

I could only stutter and blush at the absurd thought

Which led them to think I did like someone

WHICH I DIDN'T

Turns out they wanted to make sure their charge wasn't going out with some dork that would make their image bad

Vain guardians -_-

Prowl later then asked me

I nearly glitched

He wanted to make sure I wasn't dating some guy who would be a bad influence on me (remember the good looking car incident?)

I'm not gonna even TALK about the discussion with Ratchet and Disperse...

#166 No trying to run over your enemies

Megatron captured some of us

He was giving this BIG, LONG, BORING speech about how we were helpless

I eventually got frustrated and annoyed

So I transformed and ran over him

I actually got pretty far, running over multiple 'cons

But they still caught up with me

And Megatron was MAD

When we were rescued I got lectured about not running into things head first

I was not running into it headfirst

I was DRIVING into it headfirst

#167 No letting the Autobots watch little kids shows

Daniel was over again

He was watching a little kids show

And everything (including inanimate objects) was...talking

So it freaked a few of the 'bots out

Red Alert was POSITIVE Daniel's teddy bear was out to get him

Gears was a LOT nicer to inanimate objects

I sometimes even see OPTIMUS talking to his desk...

#168 Prowl is the only one allowed to headslap me

Prowl sometimes headslaps me for my stupidity

That's okay

I'm fine with him doing it (mainly because I'm scared of him)

But when other 'bots do it...

Well, let's just say it gets messy

Sunstreaker did it to me

I maliciously attacked him

Sunstreaker had to go to the Med-bay

I went to the brig

…and Prowl headslapped me

#169 If the Autobots take you to the core of Cybertron for any reason, do not bring any electronic items

We went to the core of Cybertron

For what reason, I don't know

I was daydreaming during the meeting

So we went there

It was very bright there, ya know?

Had to put on sunglasses (although Prowl headslapped me and ordered me to take them off)

Anyway, I had brought my Ipod along

It wouldn't do any harm, right?

RIGHT! (for once)

Although the core of Cybertron DID turn it into a Cybertronian

Small, cute, little thing

Then the core of Cybertron said to me, "You are now guardian and protector as well as charge to this new Autobot, Salvage."

Of course I was all like, "What?! You can't just make my Ipod into a transformer and make me his guardian! Who do you think you are?! I can't even legally drive yet!

And what the hay does guardian, protector, AND charge mean?! How is that even possible?! Do we exchange shifts?! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"

That core would not listen

And I got a lecture from Prowl about not bringing electronic devices to the core

Looks like I am now a guardian/protector/charge to a little robot

And Salvage, QUIT READING OVER MY SHOULDER!

#170 For the last time, Salvage is not an overgrown, mutant spider

I'm tired of going to school and people always telling me I have a spider on my shoulder

And then try to destroy it

To which Salvage will attack out of self defense/protection of me (so sweet :3)

Which leads me to apologizing to the person he attacked for any injuries they may have received

And one time I was in the bathroom

Salvage was waiting outside

Somebody tried to squish him

He attacked

That led to a lockdown

The next person that says he is a spider, I will LET him attack you!