"How in the world do you get into these situations so consistently, Ash?" Lance said, with a sigh.

It was almost not even a question.

"I guess because I travel around and meet people?" Ash tried. "That's most of what I try to do."

Lance shook his head.

"Well, I think I should be able to sort this out before long," he decided. "Really, the only unusual thing about you as a Pokémon is that you're digital, and that's unusual not unique – there are Porygon, after all."

"That is good news!" Mirage Mew said. "I will be happy to help out! I have not had personal goals before, it is a new experience."

They tilted their head. "Do you have any suggestions?"

"What about art?" Max said. "I've heard art can be relaxing."

"That sounds like a good suggestion," Mirage Mew declared. "I will see if I can determine a productive and fulfilling form of art to engage in."

"Just… don't be afraid to ask someone if you're not sure, I think!" Ash advised. "And, uh… not Team Rocket or someone like that."

"My data contains references to Team Rocket," Mirage Mew said. "I would not ask them for advice! But the clarification is appreciated."

They looked up. "Hmm… can architecture be art? I would ask Lunala first, and other lunar Pokémon such as the Clefairy, but building a city on the moon sounds challenging and also interesting!"

"The sad thing is that that could be thought of as a fairly normal goal," Lance said. "I might need to ask some people about that, but it could work."

The next Battle Facility was the Battle Arena, not far from Saffron City, and the incident with Doctor Yung – currently very much under arrest – had left them not too far from Saffron, so the friends decided to just walk.

That meant a few days at least of training, for all of their Pokémon, and May focused particularly on Squirtle as her newest Pokémon.

"What I'm thinking about is aiming properly," May explained. "And… do you think you can mix in a bit of water into the beam? That way it'd be easier to do what we talked about – making an object of the shape you want."

"Hmm…" Squirtle said, visibly thinking, then tried an Ice Beam.

It hit the ground and splashed, forming an ice starburst.

"Right!" May agreed. "That's good!"

"Really?" Squirtle asked. "It was supposed to be a tree."

"That might be a bit complicated for now," May judged. "Though, hmm… do any of you have any thoughts?"

"What about making the ice grow in layers?" Ash suggested. "That way it's a bit slower until you've got a lot of practice, but you can adjust if it's not looking quite right."

"Oh, so… like this?" Squirtle tried, exhaling another Ice Beam. This time it formed a flat layer of ice, then curved up towards a lip at the edge, and at that point Squirtle's experimentation was interrupted when an Arcanine came pelting towards them.

What had meant to be a dramatic leap over the whole group of friends was interrupted by the patch of ice, and Arcanine yelped before crashing headlong into what would have been Ash had Entei not emerged from his Pokéball just in time.

"Thanks, Entei," Ash said. "Uh, I guess even if that wasn't intentional?"

"It was intentional," Entei told him, from the pile of Legendary Pokémon – even though one of the Legendary Pokémon was an Arcanine and thus only a Legendary Pokémon by description, and there was only one other Legendary Pokémon involved (that being Entei), it was still big enough to be a pile. "I do not regret it."

"That was not what I planned," Arcanine mumbled, then went still. "Wait. Entei? I just collided with…"

She groaned. "Does that count as blasphemy?"

"I've done worse things training," Entei said.

"That was a bit reckless, though," Pikachu pointed out. "Where were you going in such a hurry?"

"I'm gathering food for my pups," Arcanine said, as she and Entei finally disentangled themselves. "Though… I have always had a bit of a dramatic streak. It's a way to make a chore fun…"

May frowned.

"Well, we could give you some Pokeblocks," she suggested. "Or take your children some Pokeblocks. Or try and work out something more permanent? I bet that lifetime supply could solve more problems if we looked more carefully…"

"I bet Professor Oak would be happy to have your kids there!" Ash said. "That way he could see how they're different to the Growlithe Celebi got him!"

Arcanine blinked.

"What."

"She's Rock type as well as Fire type," Ash clarified.

"No, I mean – well, yes, now I know about that that's a what as well, but also you're understanding me, and you just mentioned Celebi and… I have no idea what is going on," Arcanine said, plaintively.

"It's actually quite simple," Entei told her. "What you do is, you smile and have fun and go along with it. If you like to get involved in dramatic things, May is even a Coordinator."

Professor Oak's Growlithe inspected the other two Growlithe.

They inspected her right back.

"Now I understand why Professor Oak was confused!" she said. "If you're the kind of Growlithe he's used to, I do look really different. Huh."

"I'm confused about this," one of the Growlithe admitted. "How can you be a Growlithe if you look like that?"

"It's surprisingly easy," the Rock-type Growlithe said. "Look. Here I am doing it."

She waved a paw. "Ta-da!"

The next day, Zacian inspected a giant Caterpie.

Then sighed.

"Okay, no," she said. "I know I get annoyed when I run into Dynamaxing or something like Dynamaxing, especially as it happens so often, but… no. I'd just feel very bad even shouting about this."

"It is true that giant Pokémon turn up a lot," Ash said, thinking out loud. "But yeah, it's not their fault… what actually did happen, anyway?"

"It's Doctor Gordon's special multivitamins," said Caterpie's sort-of-trainer, Zander. "Caterpie had one and he became huge!"

"Ah!" Zacian said. "Now that sounds more promising. Caterpie, how did it taste?"

"Very spicy," the Bug-type said.

"Gigantamix," Zacian declared. "There might have been something else in there as well, but Gigantamix is doubtless responsible… the only question is where the Galar particles came from…"

"Is life always like that with you?" Arcanine asked, that evening, as May combed her fur.

"Sometimes it's a lot quieter," Bulbasaur said. "It's never dull, though."

Arcanine chuckled. "I suppose there is that."

She was silent for a few minutes as May ran the currycomb down, then sighed. "Ahh… that's very pleasant. Thank you."

"I probably won't use you in the next Contest, but I want to get into practice," May explained. "You'd need to be at your best for it, in appearance as well… there."

She put the comb away. "How did you clean yourself in the wild, anyway?"

"Like any Fire-type with Flash Fire," Arcanine said, then amended that slightly. "Any Fire-type with Flash Fire and Fire Spin. I'd douse myself in flame and burn away anything that didn't belong."

"That's a clever solution," May told her. "Fire Spin is a good move, too, because there's a lot you can do with something spinning… actually, if you have Flash Fire, you're pretty much immune to heat, right?"

Arcanine nodded.

"Well, what about Scorching Sands?" May went on. "For Appeal work, it's be good because you could make glass splashes – sort of like water – and for Battle work then it could still be useful when defending, if nothing else."

"Appeal and Battle?" Arcanine requested. "I know Contests are about Pokémon showing off…"

"So an Appeal is when the Pokémon is doing a routine, or a show," May said. "There's no fighting involved, it's just doing a performance, and it can be one-Pokémon or two-Pokémon depending on the format the Contest uses. And a Battle is where you, well, battle an opponent, but you have to keep it flashy – you earn points for looking good, executing moves well and so on, while making mistakes costs you points."

She drummed her fingers on the side of her leg. "After how it worked out in Hoenn I tend to start a Pokémon on an Appeal round, first – so Squirtle's got one in Saffron tomorrow. Then for the Battle round there I'm not sure who to use, yet, but I wouldn't want you to go in until you're ready."

"What about if Combusken and I show Arcanine some of what a Contest battle is like?" Bulbasaur suggested. "I know neither of us will have your help, but I think we can do a bit anyway..."

The next day, Harley flagged down May outside the Contest hall and let her know that Kanto Contests let you change Pokémon between the Appeal and Battle Rounds, which May had already known, and also told her that she could use her Hoenn Contest Pass to enter Kanto Contests.

"Really?" May said, sighing. "That's a pity."

Harley frowned, slightly. "It is?"

"Well, I already got a Kanto Contest Pass, but it sounds like I didn't have to," she said. "If I'd known earlier I could have skipped all the effort."

Harley didn't take that well, which was a bit of a puzzle for May until she realized Harley had been lying.

Then it just made her wonder what Harley would consider sufficient apology to let his vendetta go.

"Are you sure it's okay to take up this many seats?" Arcanine asked, looking back and forth along the row. "Especially with so many canine Pokémon. It feels like there's an awful lot of us."

There were only four seats taken up by Pokémon, and one of them was only Legendary by species name, though it was still admittedly a bit unusual to see Suicune, Zygarde and Zacian in the same Contest Hall.

At least, in Kanto.

"I'm sure it's fine," Max replied, then blinked and adjusted his glasses. "Hey, Ash, Brock – look at who's on the judging panel?"

They did.

"Mr. Sukizo and Mr. Contesta?" Brock asked. "I thought they were from Hoenn."

"So did I," Max said.

"It's funny!" Shroomish said. "Maybe they really like seeing what May comes up with? I know I do!"

"You're not thinking of doing Contests, are you?" Max asked, chuckling.

"Mostly thinking about how fun it's going to be when we can do gym battles!" Shroomish replied.

"Squirtle!" May called, throwing his Pokéball into the air. "Water Gun!"

Squirtle used Water Gun, and his attack hit the ground with enough force that it splashed everywhere. He kept up the attack for four or five more seconds after the initial blast, spreading water all over the arena, and May herself wasn't spared – but the Water Gun also kept Squirtle in the air, providing enough recoil to keep him airborne and right up near the top of the arena.

"Now, Ice Beam!" May added. "And get ready to Surf!"

Doing a spin, Squirtle ran his Ice Beam across the arena floor. It wasn't in a simple swipe, but a beam that traced out a path over and over again – sometimes following the exact same path, other times diverting from it to one side or the other.

He was high up enough that it gave him a couple of seconds, and when he came down and used Surf – conjuring the same sort of water-board under his feet that Pikachu did – he landed on a smooth ice curve that started out nearly vertical and became horizontal over the course of two or three feet. It turned his momentum from vertical into horizontal, and he went skating across the arena floor at speed aiming for another curved ramp.

"One eighty!" May called, and Squirtle rode up the ramp into a vertical jump. He spun his board around one-hundred-and-eighty degrees, using his Ice Beam again for more ice-crafting, and when he landed he went sliding towards something new.

Doing an ollie, he kicked off from the ground and landed on an ice rail which he slid along all the way to the end, then kick-jumped again and spun around diagonally in mid-air before landing.

"Now, Whirlpool!" May said.

Squirtle kicked the back of his Surfboard again, and a Whirlpool began. It spun up to high speed, then began shooting a fine spray of water out, and Squirtle flipped his board around so the back was facing in the direction he was going. The point of the Whirlpool immediately became clear, because it reversed his momentum in seconds, and he shot back towards the original vertical jump he'd made.

Launching into the air, he did a one-thousand-and-eighty-degree spin, and used the Whirlpool as he landed to cancel out all of his momentum – leaving him standing on his Surfboard as he coasted to a halt.

"Well, I think that was quite radical," Mr. Sukizo said. "Is that what the youth say these days?"

Raoul Contesta thought about that.

"...yes, let's go with that," he decided. "Radical is about right, though. And a very skilful use of Ice and Water moves. It's always a treat to see what Miss Maple will come up with next."

May moved on to the Battle Rounds, as did Harley – also taking part – and when the two of them faced one another in the semi-finals May offered her hand to shake.

"I don't really know why there's this bad feeling between us," she said. "But… I'd really just like to do the Contests? Is that possible?"

Harley examined her hand, then didn't shake it – stepping back instead. "I think that the best Coordinator will win."

"That's what I've always wanted to happen," May tried, then sent out Combusken. Harley did the same with his Ariados, and the two faced one another as they waited for the battle to begin.

"Erg," Combusken said, wincing.

"Is something wrong?" May asked, worried.

"Just that I feel a bit off," Combusken replied, shaking his head as the countdown began, then shrugged to let May know to ignore it. "It's nothing."

"Huh," May said. "Well, open with a twirl and use Blaze Kick – start up a Fire Spin as you take off."

Combusken tensed, then when the countdown hit zero he flung himself into a spin that wasn't nearly as smooth as it had been in training. His left foot caught fire as he used Blaze Kick, and the arc of his foot traced a wobbly spiral as he took off into the air.

What neither trainer nor Pokémon had expected, though, was that Ariados came flying forwards – not as the result of any plan by Harley, but as if he'd been yanked bodily forwards. Then as Combusken completed his first full spin, something between Combusken and Ariados caught fire.

Flames raced up and down a long thread between the two Pokémon, tracing a pattern all over Combusken's legs and torso, and crumbled into dust. Whatever it was had already pulled Ariados into a dangerous situation, though, and almost by accident Combusken's second rotation hit Ariados with a full-force Blaze Kick that knocked the Bug-type through the air.

"Battle Off!" the referee called immediately, as mutters and gasps went through the hall.

"I still can't believe that happened," Brock said, that night. "I knew that Harley guy didn't like you, but for him to break the rules just to try and get to you…"

"I know," May agreed. "It's a shame, really – he genuinely is a good Coordinator – but hopefully this will give him a reality check or something."

She patted Combusken's shoulder. "I don't think I'll forgive him for using Toxic Thread on you before the battle had even begun, though… imagine if he'd done that during an Appeal or something!"

"It is a pity," Combusken agreed. "I want to beat him, but I want to do it fairly. Hopefully once his ban expires we can do that."

"You're right," May said.

Then Ash ran in.

"Hey, guys!" he said. "My Pidgeotto evolved!"

"I'm honestly surprised it took this long, now I think about it," Max said, sniggering. "Though… yeah, I suppose not all of your Pokémon are fully evolved, so that probably does count as a quick evolution."

Pidgey flew down to land on Ash's shoulder. "I'm not entirely sure how this worked, but I definitely did evolve and this is how I ended up."

Ash's friends were completely silent for about five seconds.

Then Max slapped his forehead.

"Of course," he groaned. "Of course this was going to happen. It's Ash. We should have known that a normal Pokémon wasn't going to stay that way…"

"So," Vulpix said. "You look good, Pidgey. Evolution has taken years off you."

Some minutes later, in Pallet Town, Professor Oak rubbed his temples.

"No," he said. "I have no idea whatsoever, except that it might have involved Celebi somehow."

Pause.

"You actually forgot about it until I reminded you," Oak sighed. "That sounds… typically you, Ash."

Another pause.

"If you do give her a Pidgeotite, please record what happens," Oak decided. "I am almost certain that nothing will happen, but that word almost is extremely disconcerting to me right now."

AN:

Drew got the Arcanine in Ashes of the Past, so here I decided it should be May.

And Harley is… really a piece of work. In one Battle Frontier episode he actually does this with String Shot during May's Appeal, though Ariados is concealed in the rafters; here it just caught up with him.

...oh, yeah, and Ash's Pidgeotto evolved.