Hi lovely readers,
Thank you so much for all of the gorgeous reviews you left on the last chapter. The fact so many of you loved reading it as much as I did writing it means the world! Feeling very grateful to each and every one of you.
This prompt is a combination of two requests I had one from a guest and one from fluffyreadsnow. This is also based on the last prompt I wrote 'Everything To Me' so please go and read that one first if you haven't already.
Enjoy reading.
It had been four whole months since Amy's accident, since the moment Sheldon and their children walked through the front door to find her unconscious at the bottom of the staircase. The moment when his whole life suddenly flashed before his eyes and within seconds he felt as if his whole world had been pulled from underneath him.
Amy was now doing great. The recovery was slow, as expected, but she was now back to playing the role of neuroscientist and mum just like always however, this time remembering to take it easy and rest. They were all pretty good at reminding her of that. Despite Amy still being very much in his life and despite the amount of time that had passed, the after math of that event was still something that weighed heavy on Sheldon's mind and heart.
"Are you okay?" Amy asked, "you were pretty restless last night," she spoke as she stood against the kitchen surface, a mug of coffee being nursed in hands.
They had started again. The dreams, the nightmares that Sheldon had been having. They had started four months ago, right after Amy's accident. The nightmares were a reenactment of that very day however, Amy never made it, amongst the beeping of the machines that filled his head and the sick feeling in his stomach, she lay lifeless on an operating table. After a few weeks they had gradually eased and disappeared however, now, for no apparent reason, they had reared their ugly head again.
"I'm okay" he lied. "Probably just a bad dream," he shrugged it off, wanting to act like it was nothing. It was nothing really, the nightmare had no real representation of his life right now. Amy had got through the surgery, she was recovering well, she was still here, every single piece of her was still very much present in his life. The dreams really were no big deal and he was hoping just like the very last time, they would quickly disappear.
"I sometimes have bad dreams too daddy" Emily commented from across the kitchen where she was sat at the table. They always kind of forgot that she was around listening, she had been like that, ever since she was really little, always picking the conversation up whether she was involved or not. "Mummy always tells me to talk about them because talking makes your worries go away" she explained, sounding wiser beyond her years as she nibbled on her piece of toast.
"It's okay, I can't even remember what it was," Sheldon tried to brush off the whole situation but Emily's comment about her also having nightmares stayed with him. He, of course had been around to witness many of these, he had carried her back to her room when she was tiny, tucked her up in bed and stayed with her, gently stroking her hair until she fell back to sleep. When she was younger, her dreams consisted of there being monsters under the bed, now he wondered if her dreams were a little darker. If they were like his.
Emily had seen just as much as Sheldon did on that very day. Been exposed to something that a child of ten or any age should never see, suddenly her innocent childhood was exposed to the harsh realities of life. He had tried to keep both of his children sheltered as much as possible and his need to protect them from everything bad in the world was stronger than ever but Emily was an incredibly smart ten year old, he didn't doubt for a second that the events of that day were still playing on her mind.
He wanted to talk to her, wanted to ask her what her nightmares were. Did they consist of finding Amy lifeless, with no heartbeat? Did they consist of machines frantically beeping in hospital because she needed help and no-one was around? Did they involve standing at graveside, laying flowers and crying like you've never cried before? He wanted to ask but the last thing he wanted to do was plant that seed of worry in his daughters head, it broke his heart knowing that she could be experiencing pain like that.
—
"Daddy, you know we were talking earlier about dreams?" Emily asked, as Sheldon stood in her doorway, hurrying her along for school as she idly piled things into her school bag.
"Yes" he nodded, wondering where this conversation was going and also being mindful that if they didn't leave the house now, they would be late for school.
"Are they sometimes about mummy?" she asked, as she zipped her bag closed and sat down on her bed, her big blue eyes that resembled his so much staring back at him, wide and concerned.
"Why?" for a moment he struggled to answer, this was his daughter, he didn't want to off load onto her and burden her with all of his worries.
"Because, not anymore, but I dreamt about mummy. After her accident, I dreamt that bad things happened and it used to scare me" she told him. "I just thought if you had them too then…then maybe you could talk to me and it would help. I worry about you dad" she shrugged her shoulders.
"Emily" he sighed gently, he didn't really know how he had managed to raise such a kind, thoughtful and caring little person. He figured it really was all Amy's doing. "You never need to worry about me," he told her as he too sat down on her bed and wrapped his arm around her squeezing her tightly. Of course she did worry, she worried about her whole family, it unfortunately was a trait that she got from him. "These dreams you've been having, they've definitely stopped?," he wanted to clarify, it was obvious that despite her advice to him at breakfast, she hadn't told anyone about these dreams she'd been having.
"Mhmm" she nodded her head, "I haven't had one for ages, promise. It was only two," now she was trying to do exactly what he was doing, defuse the situation. She was clever and he was wondering if there was a part of her that was trying to protect him.
"You know everything is okay, don't you" he reassured her, his hand gently stroking up and down her arm. "Mum is going to be okay, she's doing brilliant" he smiled as he thought about how proud he was of Amy, his wife. She really was incredible, not once had she moaned or complained, sure, some days were better than others but he admired her strength and her total determination to get herself better and take one day at a time.
"I know" she nodded, her head flopping against her fathers shoulder.
"You can always come and talk to me, if you have any worries, that's why I'm here. I'm not happy unless you're happy, you know that, right?" Her happiness was absolutely key, he had no idea he could ever feel that way about someone. Amy had changed parts of him but becoming a father, having Emily in his life was a whole different ball game. For the first time in his whole life, he wasn't important anymore, this tiny little person who really had instantly captured his heart from the moment he'd laid eyes on her was the centre of his world. He couldn't believe how quickly the time had gone for it had been this way for the past ten years.
"Right" she nodded, placing a kiss to his cheek. Rising to her feet and grabbing her school bag which she placed on her shoulder, she headed for the doorway, leaving her father behind on her bed. "Come on dad, we're going to be late for school."
—
The loud beeping of the machines caused his head to hurt and his heart to thump rapidly in time. He was cold, the room was cold, she was cold. As he held her small, fragile hand in his, he could feel her growing colder, see her turning blue, her skin, her lips. Amy's life was slipping away in front of him and there wasn't anything he could do. He was sure she was already gone.
"Help! Help!" he was yelling, screaming for somebody, anybody to come to their aid. He was never one to ask for help, to admit that he didn't know what to do but in this moment he was faced with the impossible of task of trying to bring his wife back to life. Why was nobody coming? Why couldn't anyone hear him?
He felt the wetness on his cheeks but didn't recognise that he was crying, his mind on autopilot. Not wanting to leaver her side but left with no choice, he raced out into the hallway. The lights were so bright he had to shield his eyes from the blinding rays. Still thumping hard in his chest, his heart sank when he saw emptiness, when he heard silence. No one was here. No one was going to help. He was all alone.
"Amy!" he cried running back into the room. "Amy! Amy! Please wake up, you need to wake up. Please" he was sobbing, begging her to do the impossible. Without a second thought, he climbed up on to the hospital bed and scooping his wife up into his arms, holding her close to his chest, hoping that hearing his heart beating would somehow help with restoring hers, but it was too late, she was already gone.
—
"Amy! Amy! Wake up, please. Amy!" Amy watched with concern as her sleeping husband thrashed around the bed as he called out her name. It was clear he was sleeping, dreaming, his eyes remained tightly closed as he cried out her name with such distress it hurt her heart. This was how she had found him last night too, only then he wasn't crying out her name and it really only lasted for a handful of seconds.
"Sheldon" she whispered his name, wanting to be gentle and not startle him. When that didn't work, she tried again, this time carefully placing her hand upon his shoulder to still him. He was moving so frantically she was worried he would hurt himself. "Sheldon" her voice was a little louder this time, her touch still on his shoulder. "Sheldon" she was louder again, this time her voice waking up Sheldon with a start.
He inhaled sharply as his eyes pinged open, wide and frantic as he searched the room, taking in his surroundings. His heart was still beating hard in his chest but the relief that washed over him was palpable when he saw the eyes of his wife gazing down at him.
"You're here" he whispered breathlessly as he slapped his hand to his chest, which was rising and falling heavily.
"I'm here" she spoke quietly, smiling down at him with that smile that he loved more than life itself, that smile that moments ago in the mist of his dream he thought he'd never see again. "It's okay, I'm right here" she placed her hand on his forehead and gently pushed back his hair, waiting patiently and giving him time to catch his breath before he spoke. "Hey, breathe, your heart rate is through the roof," she carefully placed her hand on his chest next to his.
He quickly took hold of her hand, feeling it between his own, feeling the warmth of someone who was very much still alive. He brought her hand up to his lips where he kissed the back of it numerous times, it was only now that Amy could feel the dampness on his cheek, she didn't comment on it but it was this unsaid thing between them, they both knew.
"I thought you'd gone" he finally explained. "I thought I'd lost you," it was obvious what he was referring to so Amy didn't feel the need to question it any further. It broke her heart to know the pain that had been inflicted upon her loved ones on that very day, she couldn't begin to comprehend what they had been through.
"I'm right here" she told him gently, shuffling down the bed so that she was level enough to place her head on his chest. As soon as her head was in place Sheldon draped his arm around her, pulling Amy even closer to him and squeezing her tightly,. "I'm right here, forever, you know that, right?" although there were some things in life that you couldn't control, Amy knew that she would do anything and everything within her power to always be there for her family.
"I love you so much Amy. So much" he placed a kiss to the top of her head, finally feeling content and relieved that his life hadn't changed in the awful way he had thought just moments ago. Like it had always been it was the two of them against the world.
Thank you so much for reading. As always your reviews and thoughts are so welcome and so appreciated. I can't quite believe I've nearly reached 200 reviews, it's incredible and I'm beyond grateful!
Prompt requests are still open,
Stay safe
Lots of love